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An Enormous Boner
Jul 12, 2009


We've all had troubles in our lives. Every second that passes seems like an hour. So what? Why bother? Who cares?

I'm learning to make squirts. I found out that I can do it if I close my eyes and try. Everyone can think really hard, focus, and squirt. I'll be a big boy who squirts. You'll be a big boy who squirts. We can all try squirting.

You'd think that squirting isn't accessible to the normal guy. What's normal? Who's regular? How come you can't squirt? You'll be able to squirt if you try.

You can squirt when you think about it. I know how to squirt because I've practiced. You could squirt.

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Gross Dude
Feb 5, 2007

Gross Dude

There's all kinds of places that I can squirt with on my body. Are you going for eyes only?

karl fungus
May 6, 2011

Die Geschichte von Pilzekampfen


Great thread, keep me updated on your squirting progress.

Gross Dude
Feb 5, 2007

Gross Dude

I saw a lady once who could drink milk and squirt it out of her eyes. All I can do is drink milk and squirt it out of my mouth.

exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

and she told me, "Listen honey. There's hundreds of strong men out there. I like men who are kind, who are honest, men who can be open with me."

Listen An Enormous Boner, like you I experimented with squirting in my youth and after years of restorative therapy let me just say this is NOT a rabbit hole you want to go down. Find more productive uses of your time before it's too late -- this could be your last chance to pull out before things get much, much worse for you.

Little Mac
Jan 3, 2006

It's a mystery.
Broken into a jigsaw puzzle.
Wrapped in a conundrum.
Hidden in a Chinese box.

A riddle.


My dad used to call me squirt but I got a complex from it so I got height increasing surgery in Brazil and now no one calls me anything

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!


Yeah man, it's going to give you hairy palms and you'll go blind.

Dredge
Mar 18, 2009


An Enormous Boner posted:

We've all had troubles in our lives. Every second that passes seems like an hour. So what? Why bother? Who cares?

I'm learning to make squirts. I found out that I can do it if I close my eyes and try. Everyone can think really hard, focus, and squirt. I'll be a big boy who squirts. You'll be a big boy who squirts. We can all try squirting.

You'd think that squirting isn't accessible to the normal guy. What's normal? Who's regular? How come you can't squirt? You'll be able to squirt if you try.

You can squirt when you think about it. I know how to squirt because I've practiced. You could squirt.

This post reads like an adult "Everyone Poops" book.

redmercer
Sep 15, 2011

by Fistgrrl


I can squirt at length.

Russell William Thorpe
Nov 18, 2004


I couldn't squirt until I was 23, but once I got the hang of it, I would squirt pretty much anytime I could think of a reason too, which was pretty often.

Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

im a gay doug


My squirtin is different. I call it shissing.

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.



Came here expecting Marcus London's 7-disc masterclass on making women squirt.

Left disappointed, but still aroused, just like every other Saturday night.

Node
May 20, 2001



This thread has taught me how to sufficiently squirt in sexual and non-sexual encounters. Thank you for posting this thread on squirting.

STFU Pumpkinhead
Jun 25, 2000



Squirt: About 87,200,000 results (0.19 seconds)
Squirt, Safesearch on: About 69,200,000 results (0.42 seconds)

Nippashish
Nov 1, 2005

Let me see you dance!

I was a late squirter, I made my first squirt when I was in my early 20's. Now I make squirts almost every day and you can too, don't give up!

Above Our Own
Jun 24, 2009
semi-professional sassy new forums member greeter



I'll Never Stop Squirting

Jack MacAskill
Feb 21, 2011



I found a picture on wikipedia of a bee squirting.



So I made an avatar of it.

HogX
Aug 16, 2008



Bees: Natures Squirters

The REAL Gtab Fan
Apr 12, 2007

This is such a happy environment. It's too dazzling for me.


Truly we can learn much from bees!

Rare Collectable
Apr 12, 2011

1/8,000,000,000!


Squids squirt.



Squirt like a squid if your getting mugged OP.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

... all the pronouns


This is a squirt from the video game Bastion. Have we talked about video games yet? I like them; they are good.



As you can see in the article linked below, a nice lady has made a squirt out of felt.

Here is the article.

Videodrome
Apr 5, 2003

All hail the new flesh!

I don't squirt, I stream.

Terry Francona
Jan 20, 2004


Your mom squirts op.

Khanstant
Apr 5, 2007


I hear they still make and sell Squirt up in the North. I remember Squirt used to be my father's favourite, I remember how excited he was the first time he got me a Squirt.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007
OXYGEN
THIEF


I squirt 5-7 times a day, I think I've got a problem.

homo punching bag
Feb 28, 2007

i am literally unit-01



VOTE 5

oh poo poo new forum cant find 5

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

damn dirty ape


Khanstant posted:

I hear they still make and sell Squirt up in the North. I remember Squirt used to be my father's favourite, I remember how excited he was the first time he got me a Squirt.

Cool Blue Reason
Jan 7, 2010


Oral Slither posted:

Yeah man, it's going to give you hairy palms and you'll go blind.

Haha mastrubation. Jerkin the sausage. Wringing the towel. Touchin' the child.

Conquistador
Oct 17, 2008

by Red Star Baldgreg


The gently caress is up with that bee

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



I looked up 'squirt' on google images, and it was page after page of naked ladies doing stuff.

Then this one pic:

ToyotaThong
Oct 29, 2011


It burns when I squirt. Should I go see a doctor?

Unfinish3d
Nov 2, 2007

Our careless lifestyle, it was not so unwise, no.



Such a hero. Teaching kids the power of squirting. How did people grow up right without Squirtle?

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007
OXYGEN
THIEF


ToyotaThong posted:

It burns when I squirt. Should I go see a doctor?

Squirt in other people's eyes.

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

damn dirty ape


ToyotaThong posted:

It burns when I squirt. Should I go see a doctor?

No sir. There's a death row inmate you need to go see. Quick grab and tickle and some butterflies and you'll be right as rain.

Might be too late though.

Astrofig
Oct 26, 2009


ohgod help im squirting too much and it wont stop

Mr. Bonky
Jan 28, 2001


An enormous boner learns to squirt.

Yaos
Feb 22, 2003

She is a cat of significant gravy.

I've been looking for squirting websites so if anybody knows of any websites with women squirting please post them here. I don't like to just take so I'll give you guys something as well, the National Football League has a website where you can view information about the National Football League. What's neat is that each team also has their own website, so you can spend a long time looking through different National Football League team information.

The Universal Rotation Log is http://www.nfl.com?paymentref=bobbyflay

Ruddha
Jan 21, 2006

when you realize how cool and retarded everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky

Jack MacAskill posted:

I found a picture on wikipedia of a bee squirting.



So I made an avatar of it.



I don't know what that is but it's bull poo poo.

Yaos
Feb 22, 2003

She is a cat of significant gravy.

Ruddha posted:

I don't know what that is but it's bull poo poo.
That's clearly a bee, not poop.

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AstroZamboni
Mar 8, 2007

Smoothing the Ice on Europa since 1997!

I'm drinking a Squirt when suddenly I see this thread.

Checkmate, atheists.

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