Making Squirts - The Something Awful Forums

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An Enormous Boner: Jul 12, 2009; i'm white

We've all had troubles in our lives. Every second that passes seems like an hour. So what? Why bother? Who cares?

I'm learning to make squirts. I found out that I can do it if I close my eyes and try. Everyone can think really hard, focus, and squirt. I'll be a big boy who squirts. You'll be a big boy who squirts. We can all try squirting.

You'd think that squirting isn't accessible to the normal guy. What's normal? Who's regular? How come you can't squirt? You'll be able to squirt if you try.

You can squirt when you think about it. I know how to squirt because I've practiced. You could squirt.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:32

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# ? May 23, 2013 02:10

Gross Dude: Feb 5, 2007

There's all kinds of places that I can squirt with on my body. Are you going for eyes only?

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:34

karl fungus: May 6, 2011; A specter is haunting Europe - the specter of mycology.

Great thread, keep me updated on your squirting progress.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:37

Gross Dude: Feb 5, 2007

I saw a lady once who could drink milk and squirt it out of her eyes. All I can do is drink milk and squirt it out of my mouth.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:38

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; and she told me, "Listen honey. There's hundreds of strong men out there. I like men who are kind, who are honest, men who can be open with me."

Listen An Enormous Boner, like you I experimented with squirting in my youth and after years of restorative therapy let me just say this is NOT a rabbit hole you want to go down. Find more productive uses of your time before it's too late -- this could be your last chance to pull out before things get much, much worse for you.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:44

Little Mac: Jan 3, 2006; Super Mario Brothers

My dad used to call me squirt but I got a complex from it so I got height increasing surgery in Brazil and now no one calls me anything

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:53

Oral Slither: Aug 26, 2006; You know, I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.

Yeah man, it's going to give you hairy palms and you'll go blind.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:53

Dredge: Mar 18, 2009

An Enormous Boner posted:

We've all had troubles in our lives. Every second that passes seems like an hour. So what? Why bother? Who cares?

I'm learning to make squirts. I found out that I can do it if I close my eyes and try. Everyone can think really hard, focus, and squirt. I'll be a big boy who squirts. You'll be a big boy who squirts. We can all try squirting.

You'd think that squirting isn't accessible to the normal guy. What's normal? Who's regular? How come you can't squirt? You'll be able to squirt if you try.

You can squirt when you think about it. I know how to squirt because I've practiced. You could squirt.

This post reads like an adult "Everyone Poops" book.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:56

redmercer: Sep 15, 2011; Can't post for 8 days!

I can squirt at length.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:56

Russell William Thorpe: Nov 18, 2004

I couldn't squirt until I was 23, but once I got the hang of it, I would squirt pretty much anytime I could think of a reason too, which was pretty often.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:03

Siljmonster: Dec 16, 2005; I ruin threads instead of voting on them.

My squirtin is different. I call it shissing.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:05

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Came here expecting Marcus London's 7-disc masterclass on making women squirt.

Left disappointed, but still aroused, just like every other Saturday night.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:06

Node: May 20, 2001

This thread has taught me how to sufficiently squirt in sexual and non-sexual encounters. Thank you for posting this thread on squirting.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:08

STFU Pumpkinhead: Jun 25, 2000

Squirt: About 87,200,000 results (0.19 seconds)
Squirt, Safesearch on: About 69,200,000 results (0.42 seconds)

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:09

Nippashish: Nov 1, 2005; Let me see you dance!

I was a late squirter, I made my first squirt when I was in my early 20's. Now I make squirts almost every day and you can too, don't give up!

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:11

Above Our Own: Jun 24, 2009; semi-professional sassy new forums member greeter

I'll Never Stop Squirting

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:12

Jack MacAskill: Feb 21, 2011

I found a picture on wikipedia of a bee squirting.

So I made an avatar of it.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:15

Bash Ironfist: Aug 16, 2008

Bees: Natures Squirters

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:15

The REAL Gtab Fan: Apr 12, 2007; That's right. Our weakness is that we're stupid.

Truly we can learn much from bees!

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:18

Rare Collectable: Apr 12, 2011

Squids squirt.

Squirt like a squid if your getting mugged OP.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:20

SurreptitiousMuffin: Mar 21, 2010; ... all the pronouns

This is a squirt from the video game Bastion. Have we talked about video games yet? I like them; they are good.

As you can see in the article linked below, a nice lady has made a squirt out of felt.

Here is the article.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:21

Videodrome: Apr 5, 2003; All hail the new flesh!

I don't squirt, I stream.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:23

druglife: Jan 20, 2004; is that it?

Your mom squirts op.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:40

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

I hear they still make and sell Squirt up in the North. I remember Squirt used to be my father's favourite, I remember how excited he was the first time he got me a Squirt.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:45

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007

I squirt 5-7 times a day, I think I've got a problem.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:45

ACanofPepsi: Feb 28, 2007; Full of Piss and Vinegar

VOTE 5

oh poo poo new forum cant find 5

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:48

Noblesse Obliged: Apr 7, 2012

Khanstant posted:

I hear they still make and sell Squirt up in the North. I remember Squirt used to be my father's favourite, I remember how excited he was the first time he got me a Squirt.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:49

Cool Blue Reason: Jan 7, 2010

Oral Slither posted:

Yeah man, it's going to give you hairy palms and you'll go blind.

Haha mastrubation. Jerkin the sausage. Wringing the towel. Touchin' the child.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:50

Conquistador: Oct 17, 2008; 2013 Winner:
Worst Poster,
Boston Thread
(It's OK to skip reading anything to the right of this)

The gently caress is up with that bee

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:50

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010

I looked up 'squirt' on google images, and it was page after page of naked ladies doing stuff.

Then this one pic:

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:50

ToyotaThong: Oct 29, 2011

It burns when I squirt. Should I go see a doctor?

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:51

Unfinish3d: Nov 2, 2007; Our careless lifestyle, it was not so unwise, no.

ACanofPepsi posted:

Such a hero. Teaching kids the power of squirting. How did people grow up right without Squirtle?

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:52

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007

ToyotaThong posted:

It burns when I squirt. Should I go see a doctor?

Squirt in other people's eyes.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:53

Noblesse Obliged: Apr 7, 2012

ToyotaThong posted:

It burns when I squirt. Should I go see a doctor?

No sir. There's a death row inmate you need to go see. Quick grab and tickle and some butterflies and you'll be right as rain.

Might be too late though.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:54

Astrofig: Oct 26, 2009

ohgod help im squirting too much and it wont stop

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:56

Mr. Bonky: Jan 28, 2001

An enormous boner learns to squirt.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 06:01

Yaos: Feb 22, 2003; She is a cat of significant gravy.

I've been looking for squirting websites so if anybody knows of any websites with women squirting please post them here. I don't like to just take so I'll give you guys something as well, the National Football League has a website where you can view information about the National Football League. What's neat is that each team also has their own website, so you can spend a long time looking through different National Football League team information.

The Universal Rotation Log is http://www.nfl.com?paymentref=bobbyflay

# ? Jan 20, 2013 06:15