|
Deadmeat5150 posted:Koa was the best god. I know I should have voted for Nem Teshet while I still had the chance. Curse you Jamez! My vote is: 1. A and for 2. C It's no fun to have a mad god without a straight man.
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 04:04 |
|
He just wanted to be friends!
|
|
| # ? May 22, 2013 08:39 |
|
|
JamezBfod posted:1. E: "Nobody" as it may cause confusion where the identity of the High Priest is concerned. ^Ditto. I say we get try and get a triumvirate going and then...well you never know where Madness may strike...
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 04:22 |
|
|
1. E: Weedlord Bonerhitler 2. G: Chocolate Rain!
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 11:08 |
|
|
1. E: Lowtax the Tenbux 2. C: Let the jokes begin!
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 11:48 |
|
|
1. B 2. C C just sounds like too much fun. And very perfect for a god of madness.
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 12:10 |
|
|
1. A Because yeah, straight man. 2. C The god that invented humor and eventually the comedy website
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 12:15 |
|
|
Ghost Hat posted:1. A Because yeah, straight man. 1. Kyooooooooon_ 2. C.
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 12:56 |
|
|
1E. If we're the Madgod we may as well name our servant Haskill. 2G. Bless our followers with the gift of chocolate bees. And if possible, pry into the mind of the head priest and find out what these people think happens after death. Preferably in a way so they don't notice what you're doing.
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 13:28 |
|
|
1.C: As far as we know, he saved you, so calling him "the mad" would probably make him happy. Edit:And if you revive the madgod, then you're probably a bit mad. 2.C: I couldn't pass on this. Happyloony fucked around with this message at Jan 24, 2013 around 13:53 |
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 13:39 |
|
|
I'm voting for 1A and 2C. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 14:34 |
|
|
Edit: Nevermind I don't want to
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 14:35 |
|
|
quote:Question for the priest: If I can't read the minds of metal workers and scribes, can I still... afflict them with madness? Is that a thing I can do? Is madness inherently chaotic or is it chaotic because of me? Your High Priest bows his head "Only the minds of iron workers are closed, Holy One, not bronze or copper. You are the master of madness and none can resist you in such. I... do not know the nature of madness Oh Holy One, only the mad know and they do not give clear answers and er, you as well, oh most smiling of gods." quote:And if possible, pry into the mind of the head priest and find out what these people think happens after death. Preferably in a way so they don't notice what you're doing. His possible death is on his mind and such knowledge is easily found. He knows your predecessor did not know and thus does not know himself. Your people believe you send the people you like to a garden of hedonistic delights which is where the great rivers flow from, far to the north, wine river and all and that people who upset you are fed to the very real demons who live in the wastes and wilderness... and the people you really hate are sent to Nem Teshet for eternal torment. None of that is true, your priests very likely invented that lie ages ago on your behalf to make your people easier to rule! Though the demons are real, as is Nem Teshet... Main update comes in the early evening today.
|
| # ? Jan 24, 2013 14:58 |
|
|
E. Who "Who's the High priest?" "Yes, that's his name." "Whose name" "The high priest." "What's his name?" "No, What's the guy who prepares the orgy pit." "How the hell am I supposed to know what he is, I want the name of the High Priest." "Who!" "The High Priest." and so on. A mad god can do no better than making his entire priesthood into an abbot and costello bit. C. Kill joke, piss off the other gods. In fact make the joke who's on first, it's still pretty funny now, it probably would kill simple iron age folk. jazzyhattrick fucked around with this message at Jan 25, 2013 around 00:54 |
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 00:51 |
|
|
As the prayers of your people washes over you beneath the twinkling moonlight(many of which are Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!), you feel yourself filled with power. Becoming a senior priest in your city has always been a gradual process of losing ones sense of humor. You look down upon your high priest and you can feel what little flecks of humor within him waver and then, burn away. "You are born anew this day and shall be known henceforth as Sebek the Sane and uh... always keep this brick with you, it'll come in handy! Maybe! Or not! Don't let me catch you without it!" You reach into the wall of the temple, tear out an arbitrary brick and hand it to the bewildered priest. "Tell the people I am coming. It is time to tell my people, THE JOKE." The air around you literally crackles with lightning and bits of divine power at the mere mention of THE JOKE. "A.. brick oh Holiest of Gods? Er... yes, I shall cherish it always. A joke, Holy One? I don't understand..." He prods the brick experimentally to see if it contains hidden divine power. "Not a joke, THE JOKE. For eternity when men ask which, they shall know they mean this one. Probably!" He opens his mouth to ask what joke but before he speaks he closes it and nods. With a wave of his hand, Sebek gestures to the other priests, the men who have attended to you for a year, releasing them. The older, more senior and more dour priests, remain where they are, unmoving, unsmiling. Several of the younger priests take the opportunity to finally relax after a year of constant exertion. They are eager to join a party the likes of which they are unlikely to ever seen again in their lifetime. They strip to their skins(except for their hats which of course have bells on them) and do somersaults and handstands down the side of your ziggurat temple to join the crowd, shouting all the while "DENZIROH IS AWAKEN! DENZIROH IS AWAKEN! DENZIROH IS AWAKEN!" As you step onto the balcony, your people cry out. Your people are very, very happy to see you. A number of your worshipers yell up lude propositions to you, others ask for wealth or fortune or to bless their children or business. It is a night of drinking, carousing and hedonism in your honor. If there is a single maiden left in your city at this point she is not trying hard enough. Your virgin supply will be fully used up for several years. Lightning crackles around you as you prepare to unleash the power of THE JOKE. As you open your mouth to speak the crowd falls silent. A dawn of realization appears upon Sebek's face and he quickly falls to the ground and tucks himself into the fetal position, his hands clutched tightly over his ears. The other clergy still within your temple, upon seeing this, show an expression of horror, hit the deck and do the same. One actually jumps into a large tub of sacred wine at the corner of your temple and dives beneath the surface, holding his breath, another grabs a sacred candle and fills his ears with hot wax. As you speak, the, crowd is deftly silent. Despite his best efforts not to, Sebek still hears some of your words. "... so then the plowman says..." BOOM BOOM BOOM as lightning strikes around the city.  "...so he buys an ox for ten bits of silver and..." BOOM BOOM BOOM, a man is struck by a bolt of lightning and explodes in a shower of wine.  "...and he says "Well where am I going to get one before harvest season?" ..." BOOM BOOM BOOM, the ears of a dozen of your people sprout tiny wings, detach from their heads and fly away. A trickle of blood flows from Sebek' nose and his eyes roll back into his head. He is having a seizure. All are silent, the only sound, the sound of thunder and your words. "...so they find the woman and..." BOOM BOOM BOOM. The priest in the wine tub is drowning and is forced to climb out. As you speak he runs and dives out a window and falls two hundred feet into a canal, the water within instantly turning to wine. He is alive and unconscious. His blood has turned to wine, this does not apparently cause any harm to him. You are almost finished. All of the cows within the city squirt out wine, fly, or both. The sheep have turned pink and the chickens have laid candy apples instead of eggs. "...so he says "FINE and just jams it in!""  Ten thousand people fall to their sides, clutch themselves and laugh at THE JOKE. They are crying tears, some cry wine, some cry blood. Every living thing in the city laughs, even the rats and the birds in the sky, which are no longer flying and fall to earth. Every drop of liquid in the city turns to wine. Three old men choke their lungs out of their mouths as they laugh. A dozen pregnant women give birth early and their infants laugh as well. A number of children and the sick die of asphixiation. The only ones spared are the most senior and serious minded clergy in your temple who are at this moment convulsing on the floor as wine shoots out their noses. After three hours your senior priests rise and rush out of the temple to combat the unattended fires which have sprung up around the city. They do so, succesfully and there is little damage. The rest of your people, ten thousand in number roll on the floor in laughter for a week. When they finally rise, they resume their merry making in your honor for a full week. Then, they bury their dead and begin to clean up. A week after that, Sebek approaches you as you sit upon your throne in the heart of your temple, still basking in the raw and utterly intoxicating power of your peoples worship. He looks at the clay tablet in his hands, then looks to you. "Holy One, the repairs are mostly done, several matters beg your attention. The relatives of those who died in the Week of Laughter quarrel over who should inherit their property. A band of twenty slaves escaped the night before last and flee south, we think they flee to Beralafs domain. The suspected ringleader is one of his. The women who bore children in the Week of Laughter wait beyond the chamber, they come to offer themselves to you and do ask you bless their children. The... dead are said to be rising in the tombs two days west of the city and are abducting travelers and merchants on the road. Which matter do you wish to attend to? Your loyal priests shall attend to the others as best they can in your stead, Holy One." You choose to see to the... A. The inheritance fight B. The escaped slaves C. The women D. The undead E. Do something else! Write in! You will get more information on the one you pick. You may be able to see to the others later, depending on how the one you pick is eventually resolved. Your priests will handle the other matters as best they can if they worsen. Keep in mind that questions to your priests are free actions I will handle between main updates as long as there are not too many. Since someone asked, yes, you can edit your vote if you want to. Also, if anyone cares to, I set up an irc channel on synirc.net, #madgod and if you don't know what IRC is, here! http://chat.mibbit.com/ I will hang out there for a few hours every night after the evening updates. Diogines fucked around with this message at Jan 25, 2013 around 05:16 |
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 01:07 |
|
|
D. The Undead See if we can mind control them or something.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 01:28 |
|
|
C The women. With luck, their children can be made into ironsmiths and scribes that will be absolutely loyal to us. Edit to bold. SerSpook fucked around with this message at Jan 25, 2013 around 22:01 |
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 01:37 |
|
|
C. The Women. We need comedians, minstrels, that sort of thing.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 01:38 |
|
|
C. Let's start indoctrinating our new worshipers. I say we pay special attention to these kids, what with them being forced into this world by our jokes.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 01:56 |
|
|
The escaped slaves. We can't have them ruining the joke.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 02:13 |
|
|
Let's C to these women.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 02:23 |
|
|
Our children are our future: C: the women
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 02:29 |
|
|
I vote for C, The Womens!
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 02:32 |
|
|
C. Women. We must raise these blessed children to be our prophets.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 03:54 |
|
|
C. The women. It seems like the thing most likely to take the least time, and could potentially give us useful tools in the women who have offered themselves to us and the children we bless. Plus, I think we should focus on internal matters for the first couple of choices as we learn exactly what being a god entails, rather than striking out past our city while we're still weak. Also, I see a vote for B and a vote for C which have not been bolded. Let's try to make the OP's job easier and make sure our votes get counted, guys.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 05:04 |
|
|
C. The women Gotta make more babies.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 05:10 |
|
|
Ask Sebek how he came to get his job. Also, the voices implied that you were a normal person possibly transformed into a god. Can he tell us anything about that person?
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 05:10 |
|
|
Sebek bows his head before you. "I was the eldest surviving son of your last High Priest, oh Holy One, who trained me all of his life. He in turn, was the eldest son of his father, and so on, such as have been all of your High Priests, since first you raised the walls of Gomorrah when the world was young." He pauses. You can feel his heart beating faster. "As to your other question Most Sacred and Joyous of Gods, yes, I knew well the vessel which was used to form you, but I do not think you would truly wish to know, as it would be... upsetting. There is nothing humorous in such, Mightiest of Gods, but I live only to serve and shall tell you if this is your wish."
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 05:26 |
|
|
A. Inheritance Fight Because this is our chance to form jurisprudence that will last for millenia, and probate law is boring as gently caress. Surely we should inject humour and madness into this, this so everyday form of law so that, even when our name is long lost and our legend is as dust, our divinity still carries on touching the souls of lawyers; those most joyless of people. Or just make the relatives do increasingly outrageous shenanigans simply to gain a share of the dead person's estate and so reveal the foolishness of their greed.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 05:38 |
|
|
I choose C. However, the babies should be forced into an over-the-top-rope Battle Royal. The winner gets our blessing and status as the chosen yatta yatta, the others take home a nice fruit basket.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 05:53 |
|
|
C the children born on our most Holy Day will clearly end up our most important followers.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 06:29 |
|
|
C Our people are our power, and those born during The Joke are doubly blessed. Let them be the new generation Also, stare piercingly at Sane Jr. and present him with a cookie or similar, then forget asking about the vessel that became you. Such things are beneath the notice of a great God like yourself. Besides, to know the truth would likely invoke your anger, and this guy probably has a few sons max. Even the God of Madness must surely know a bit of restraint? Nathilus fucked around with this message at Jan 25, 2013 around 06:44 |
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 06:41 |
|
|
E) To talk to Koa cause he's cool. 
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 06:47 |
|
|
C The Children of  must be trained up in the full revelry of our godhood.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 07:29 |
|
|
SerSpook posted:CThe women. With luck, their children can be made into ironsmiths and scribes that will be absolutely loyal to us. I like this idea. A troop of absolutely loyal iron wielding assassins would be a weapon unlike any other.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 08:23 |
|
|
C, and have these children will bring THE JOKE to all cities, causing them to fear and worship us and only us.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 09:23 |
|
|
C
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 09:38 |
|
|
SerSpook posted:The women. With luck, their children can be made into ironsmiths and scribes that will be absolutely loyal to us. This is a brilliant idea! We cannot pass on the opportunity to create a loyal army of smiths and scribes. Vote C!
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 10:08 |
|
|
Voting C. First, we shall bless the children to lead lives of happiness. Then we shall send them out of the room to go study iron or writing with the priests or some poo poo. When they're gone it's mffffffff time with the mothers. Possible downside: we end up creating a demigod who offs us in the end.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 10:33 |
|
|
C, what can be holier than being born during THE JOKE? These will be your most loyal servants and become iron smiths and scribes as others have said.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 14:52 |
|
|
|
| # ? May 22, 2013 08:39 |
|
|
B, going against the grain here, but this seems like one of those problems that will come back and bite us in the rear end down the road. They worship a different god and might have inside info on our city.
|
| # ? Jan 25, 2013 16:06 |
|
