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Getting in on the George bandwagon. One of them should be the Keeper of the Sacred Bucket.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 05:49 |
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| # ? May 21, 2013 17:16 |
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The Gadfly posted:But that would make us this creepy guy: I fail to see the downside of being a creepy seven-foot tall weirdo in a gold loincloth.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 05:49 |
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Eat the babies, take the women as your harem.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 05:53 |
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Name all of them George, and teach them forbidden magics involving brewing and making people laugh to death.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 07:49 |
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The_Skeeter posted:Eat the babies, take the women as your harem. So tempted to change my vote to this. Also, a few questions for Sebek: Ask Sebek who killed our previous incarnation. Ask Sebek about our city's relationship with other cities. Is our city historically friendly with or enemies with other cities? Do we have major trading partners? How much economic and cultural exchange is there between cities?
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 07:55 |
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I am strongly opposed to wasting our god-children's potential on catering. Just because we don't know of any iron supply close by, doesn't mean none exist and we can still barter for it anyway. I vote Promise Koa and Amytis our support in exchange for the knowledge of Iron making and writing. Have 8 of the children trained as blacksmiths and 4 trained as scribes (after a suitable brain washing period). Ninja edit: nightchild12 posted:Also, a few questions for Sebek: Also, this.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 12:56 |
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I like the george idea, but with some slight ammendments. Collectively they are to be known as The most sacred and holy order of the drunken fool They will be answerable only to yourself and the high priests, A great college shall be built where they will study the arts of merriment, fornication and jokecraft. Every time a member of the order has a child, the child will be brought forth into the world at a special ceremony where you tell The Joke. The most skilled member of the order will be made head of the Holy College and be given the official title of Foreman he or she will therefore be known as George, Foreman of the Holy College. The College will offer training in the holy arts for any citizen of gomorrah who wants it.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 15:04 |
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You leap from your throne and approach the line of women, leaning down to tap each on the forehead, embedding your most sacred symbol, a cluster of grapes which looks suspiciously like a laughing phallus, onto each of their foreheads. As you touch each, you imbue them with great skill and power. As you shout their names, an image enters your mind of how each shall look as an adult. Each shall one day, be a master of their craft. Each is outlandishly dressed, but this is not at all unusual in your city, where men may wear traditional robes one day, go naked painted blue the next and wear nothing but palm fronds the next. "GEORGE!" the Teller of Jokes  "GEORGE!" the Caterer  "GEORGE!" the Singer  "GEORGE!" the Musician  "GEORGE!" the Distiller  "GEORGE!" the Dancer  "GEORGE!" the Brewer  "GEORGE!" of Hallucinogens  "GEORGE!" the Vintner  "GEORGE!" of Fermentables  "MIXIE!" the Mixologist  You pause for a moment. Oh. This one... his father one did not laugh on a holy day! He shall be forbidden to speak, silenced forever, plagued by invisible signs of madness and consumed by madness, yet he shall become your chosen servant and the leader of the twelve children, who shall have the "sickest" skills in organizing parties and his name shall be...  "MIME!" The women are taken from your presence and ushered into another chamber deeper in your temple, to tend to the children and to await your pleasure, should you chose to take it. Sebek leans in close to you to answer your questions. nightchild12 posted:Also, a few questions for Sebek: He bows his head as he talks in a quiet tone. "None slew your previous incarnation, Most Joyous of Gods. He... expired of when his vessel degraded of extreme age. It was 62 generations since the one before him, Holy One and 96, the one before that." He points out a window briefly "As to the other cities, Oh Smiling God, there are about 40 cities in Akkad. Each god would slay his neighbor, burn their city and march off their people as slaves if they could, for they are jealous, yet such rarely happens. To do such, they would have to march upon their rival at the head of their army, the gods would battle each other as their men battle each other... yet the attacking god would be dispersed if his army was destroyed and he was left without worshipers near him, but the god of the city would remain as long as the people of his city still lived. Cities rarely fall unless some calamity has befallen them first to weaken their people a great deal, or if many gods march against a single city." "Trade between almost all of the gods of Akkad is common, Holy One... but your people are not permitted to enter other cities and trade on the edges, beyond the gates, for your people are seen as a poison. The men of other cities oh Mighty God, are not truly men. Each morn they await the voice of their god in their ear to tell them to wake, to tell them to go work the fields, to tell them to rest, to east, to retire, when to sleep with their wives and so on. They are cattle and submissive, though they are cattle who love and are obedient to their gods, for what sheep defies their master? Though... they will fight with the ferociousness of mindless beast when bade to, though, not cleverly. In your great Laughing Mercy, you have left such trifling matters as when to sleep, eat, farm, and wipe our own asses to your priests to coordinate, Oh Holiest of the Holy." "A week north lay Koa, the Smithgod, and a strong god, whose men raid your outlying farms and villags for slaves and food every harvest, though we trade for iron with them in the winter. Since the creation of Iron, many cities have refused to trade with him and so our merchants have grown fat bringing to Koa the goods that were once brought there by other cities." "A week east lay Rantz, ruled by Amytis. She is a humorless and dry god, but trade is reliable, our people trade her wine for pots and cloth. As with Cimbra, many gods have banned trade, and so our people grow rich bringing to Rantz the things which other cities once brought" "A week south lay Beralaf, a god of green things, in his city of Theropi. His city is... odd, Holiest of Gods. Leafy monsters live there among his people and few trade with him beside us. We send them pots, tools and other things from other cities and gain food from them." "Two and a half weeks west is..." out of habit, he begins to make a sign with his right hand, a ward against evil, then, upon realizing he is in the presence of his god, stops. "is Nem Teshet. God of Fire and Blood, who knows an endless hunger. Once every generation or three, he sends his army to destroy entire villages, burn every living thing and take every man, woman and child to satisfy his great hunger. He is feared across all of Akkad. We do not trade with him, except when he steals our sons and daughters." "Further north than Koa is al-Muli Kssabi, god of greed and gold who sits his enormous bottom on the throne of the city of Saman a'Ra. and Otac, god of water, who dwells in a large city upon the river banks. We trade with him for many things, as we do with his next closest neighbor, Ast, God of Wind and Whispers, Lord of Tun. He is said to be mad, Holy God, and though not with humor and revelry such as you, but mad and cruel to his people." "Further east than Rantz lay Al-Intis, ruled by Hiwwah, Lord of Plagues and the Healing Arts. We trade wine for many sorts of things there. His closest neighbor is Ashan, the Ice God, Lord of Shoithra, the Mountain City, which lay atop a mountain cloaked in snow in the midsts of the dessert. We trade with him as we do with Hiwwah." "The silver mirrors within your temple shall allow you to speak across the dessert winds to each of those gods, if you wish to. Other cities, Holy One, are too far away for your traders to trade with much and their gods, too far away for you to speak with much." "Several other matters await your attention, Holy One. What is your will?" DECISION TIME! You next chose to see to... A. The inheritance fight. B. The escaped slaves C. The undead D. Something else! Write in! Diogines fucked around with this message at Jan 27, 2013 around 13:17 |
| # ? Jan 26, 2013 15:28 |
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It's time to teach those Undead a lesson! Who knows, maybe we can pick up some necromancy while we're at it?
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 16:01 |
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D. It is time to entreat with Koa. The everyday madness of your city can tend to itself. Iron and the chaos it will soon bring to Akkad is far more diverting a subject. Koa is bound to find himself in pretty serious trouble pretty soon, and you might be able to parlay his need into an advantage, or at least a pretty good prank.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 16:24 |
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B! Those slaves know the joke! The joke! You want a couple of Spartacist Dane Cooks ruining the fun?
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 16:29 |
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D. I vote that we entreat with Koa, and afterward have a chat with Amytis. We should be able to leverage our trade relationship with Rantz against the other cities somehow. It feels like a very natural alliance to be struck. And perhaps we can set up some mutually profitable relationship with Koa that will evolve into a begrudging friendship. I'm guessing Nem Teshet is going to be our ultimate worry in the end. We need as many cities as possible on our side before that time comes. Also, I want to ask Sebek a couple of questions: Beyond the existence of the priestly caste, how is our city organized? I.e. do we have tax collectors, men-at-arms, trade guilds, etc.? Does our city have any method of defense, should it come under attack? Also, touch your finger to Sebek's nose and go, "Boop." Edit: Going back I saw there was mention of a "Great One:" Diogines posted:
Who is the Great One and does he/she talk to us lesser Gods? Rieux fucked around with this message at Jan 26, 2013 around 16:37 |
| # ? Jan 26, 2013 16:32 |
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An inheritance fight would be an excellent opportunity to establish our sense of justice. Also, money.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 16:33 |
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Nathilus posted:D. It is time to entreat with Koa. The everyday madness of your city can tend to itself. Iron and the chaos it will soon bring to Akkad is far more diverting a subject. Koa is bound to find himself in pretty serious trouble pretty soon, and you might be able to parlay his need into an advantage, or at least a pretty good prank. This, but form a mutual protection pact between yourself, Koa, and Amytis. Call it the Forward Thinking Pact. It is clear that we three gods are outcasts, and if we do not wish to be marched upon by the others, we must protect ourselves. Contact both gods, and determine what such an agreement might take.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 16:37 |
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Now that everyone is hooked on our hootch, we should slow our trade to a trickle and jack up the prices. Teach those bastards to treat our merchants with disrespect. With any luck we can cause a few riots. We should keep trading with the ones that only trade with us though.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 16:45 |
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Sebek bows his head and answers your questions.Rieux posted:Beyond the existence of the priestly caste, how is our city organized? I.e. do we have tax collectors, men-at-arms, trade guilds, etc.? Does our city have any method of defense, should it come under attack? "Your priests collect your taxes, enact your ordinances and see that your will is done, oh Holy One. The merchants and tradesmen of the city are the wealthiest men in the city and command the most power, below your priests, of course." Sebek bows his head lower briefly and continues. "Every man in the city is called to arms in times of war and armed with stone and wooden weapons, clubs and spears mostly, a few with bows or slings. Your great city is a bit smaller than most, though your people are more clever. A smaller number of your people, a hundred men, merchants, tradesmen and their sons are better armed, wielding not stone and wood, but copper, bronze and a few, the much coveted iron. Many of these men also have copper or bronze armor, though iron is far too scarce to be made into armor, an iron sword is immensely valuable Holy One, we have 10 in the city, locked in your treasury. You once create a thousand jugs of wine with your great power and had it sent to Cimbra to attempt to deceive his merchants and bargain for more iron, yet Koa noticed that you had created the wine yourself, his priests told our merchants that the wine was not "sweet" and he refused to accept it. I do not know why, Holy One, I suppose it is a matter of the gods?" As you think of this, you think of the vault with your temple which acts as your treasury. Within it are many beautiful objects, as well as rare and strange objects. Things that your people have made, or which they have traded for with the cities and brought as offerings to your UNQUESTIONABLE greatness. Looking upon such objects gives you a sense of satisfaction and the heady rush of power such as when your people worship you. Such objects stand as a sign of your greatness and are deeply satisfying. You know that other gods also take great pleasure in owning wealth, as it is a sign of their greatness. Other gods spend long periods of time simply staring upon their wealth and even you on occasion, gaze lovingly at your treasures. The mere thought of your vault puts a word that is often in your mind briefly to the forefront. MINE! You sense that for some divine-reason, objects that you simply will into existence are not satisfying, a treasure vault filled with riches that you craft from nothing would be as good as empty and is worthless in trade to other gods and their cities. Rieux posted:Who is the Great One and does he/she talk to us lesser Gods? Diogines fucked around with this message at Jan 26, 2013 around 17:37 |
| # ? Jan 26, 2013 17:34 |
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Ask Sebek: If I'm so great, how is it I'm going to die of old age? Isn't that a mortal thing? A. See to the inheritance fight, settle the dispute with extreme hackey sack.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 17:53 |
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A. The inheritance fight.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 18:44 |
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Ask Sebek just How unusual it is for the dead to rise. Has it ever happend before, and what were the circumstances? When we get a chance, we should take our Holy Person to the top of the ziggurat, so that we make look upon our city and see the shape and the lay of it. To look upon our walls, and our people, and feel the currents and eddies of the strongest doubters and zealots.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 19:01 |
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A, inheritance fight with a preemptive vote of giving both parties literal poo poo from livestock that may be involved Also here's a thing that may or may not be of any real use any time soon: 
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 19:40 |
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Establish special trade with Theropi for weed. 
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 20:04 |
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Nathilus posted:D. It is time to entreat with Koa. The everyday madness of your city can tend to itself. Iron and the chaos it will soon bring to Akkad is far more diverting a subject. Koa is bound to find himself in pretty serious trouble pretty soon, and you might be able to parlay his need into an advantage, or at least a pretty good prank. This. If liberty is as contagious as the other gods fear it to be, we are actually poised to go on the offensive if we cultivate the right alliances.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 20:31 |
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But what do we offer him? He didn't like our wine.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 20:42 |
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Ask the Sane if there are any gods who were never reformed/resurrected and what would happen if there were no more mad gods. D: Koa. And bring a proper offering of alcohol this time. If possible, equip each George with his or her own iron armor or weaponry. Mime gets a dagger.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 20:46 |
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D. Entreat with Koa and Amytis. Remember that we may have more cards here, the other gods will currently be planning their destruction, but not necessarily ours right now (If I've understood things correctly.) I think we're no doubt going to be on the side of Change in the coming war. Ask Sebek how long our current mortal vessel will last. Sucrose fucked around with this message at Jan 26, 2013 around 21:05 |
| # ? Jan 26, 2013 21:03 |
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Cool chart Sighenc, though the descriptions of all of the gods are not accurate  . Otac = water, not the ocean. Ast = wind.the_steve posted:Ask Sebek: If I'm so great, how is it I'm going to die of old age? Isn't that a mortal thing? Sebek bows his head. "We do not know how to construct a perfect vessel for you, Joyous God. It will degrade in time, as did the last one. You trained me my entire life to construct the vessel you now use and I swear in your most Sacred and Holy name each instruction was followed exactly as yo ordered them to be... but I do not believe you knew how to, either." A student posted:Ask the Sane if there are any gods who were never reformed/resurrected and what would happen if there were no more mad gods. Sebek bows his head. "Yes, oh Greatest of Gods, but most certainly not while I lived, or my father or his. Such is rare, but such does occur. Long ago Jebart-Hai, god of law, marched upon the walls of Gommorah in response to one of your especially clever jokes. He did not find it funny. You triumphed over his army beneath the walls of Gommorah and his form was dispersed as he was separated from his worshipers. Before his clergy could construct a new vessel for him, Nem Teshet marched upon his city, destroyed his temple and consumed every remaining priest, Holy One. Such is how gods perish. When they are dispersed and their clergy do not remain to forge them anew. Jebart-Hai's city stood between Gommorah and the realm of Nem Teshet, though the city is destroyed and is naught but the domain of ghosts and demons." Sucrose posted:Ask Sebek how long our current mortal vessel will last. Sebek yet again, bows his head. "I do not know, Great One. Your last vessel lasted 62 generations and the one before that, 96. We know not how long the one before that lasted... nor how long your current vessel will last but I fear, less than the last."
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 21:19 |
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D: Entreat with Koa and Amytis. Iron is one of the most valuable resources there is right now, but Koa needs more bodies if he is to defend his city. Amytis doesn't sound like much of a fighter, and we already have scribes, but she probably needs soldiers and if we ally with her then it makes the allegiance more lucrative for Koa. Between the three of us, we can Edit: HardDisk posted:Transform Sebek into a horse. Voting for this too. A magical horse. Copacabana fucked around with this message at Jan 26, 2013 around 22:47 |
| # ? Jan 26, 2013 21:46 |
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A We can get some money, and perspective on the wealth of our people.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 21:58 |
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D. Try to establish an alliance with Koa and Amytis. If you're a little guy, you better have strong friends. Don't just give the other gods a call with the old bronze mirrors, though. Send out a proper delegation of priests and have them bring gifts; a vat of your best (non-magical) wine for Koa, and a divine joke for humourless Amytis.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 22:09 |
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Transform Sebek into a horse.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 22:12 |
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HardDisk posted:Transform Sebek into a horse. Also voting for this, the only sensible option.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 22:43 |
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A Let's see what the dispute is, and make the resolve it in a hilarious way. Ask Sebek if his father trained him, and his father's father trained his father, and his father's father's father trained his father's father, and his father's father's father's father trained his father's father's father, etc, etc, where is his son whom he is training to be his successor? Don't change Sebek into anything guys, come on.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 22:49 |
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Nothing wrong with an intelligent talking horse. And then when he's being all dour and serious you can say "WHY THE LONG FACE?" and everyone will laugh awkwardly.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 22:53 |
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but how will he carry his very, very important brick?
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 22:54 |
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100 HOGS AGREE posted:Ask Sebek if his father trained him, and his father's father trained his father, and his father's father's father trained his father's father, and his father's father's father's father trained his father's father's father, etc, etc, where is his son whom he is training to be his successor? "I trained him from his birth to one day take my place, Holy One... but he is... no longer suitable to be a member of your priesthood. I am training another of my sons now, to one day take over my duties. I have other sons." Diogines fucked around with this message at Jan 26, 2013 around 23:21 |
| # ? Jan 26, 2013 23:04 |
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That's no good. D: Impregnate Sebek with a new future High Priest.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 23:08 |
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A RICH WHITE MAN posted:That's no good. Boop his nose, thus turning him into a pregnant male horse.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 23:21 |
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SoroScrew
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A RICH WHITE MAN posted:That's no good. My vote's here too. D. Let's make a seahorse out of Sebek.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 23:38 |
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Declare that all your priests must be women, then turn all your priests into women. Then switch it to men again. Alternate weekly.
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| # ? Jan 26, 2013 23:49 |
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| # ? May 21, 2013 17:16 |
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Ask the priest "why is your firstborn no longer suited to such duties?"
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| # ? Jan 27, 2013 00:08 |
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