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Hajj Podge
Aug 4, 2009




Cybernations: Welcome to the New Pacific World Order

Cybernations is a browser-based nation simulation game. The game itself is simple, the combat system is essentially rolling dice and hoping for the best. While the combat is simplistic it is extremely easy to wreck individual nations and reap the inevitable bounty of angry messages in your inbox. However, beyond the simple game play lies a vast political network. Nations group together in the game to form alliances; these alliances sign treaties with each other, plot against each other on Internet Relay Chat (IRC) networks, and wage war against each other.

Most of the game's population of players and alliances recently fought a wide scale war. The war was between our sphere of influence and that of the New Pacific Order and DuckRoll (a bloc of alliances). It began after an Umbrella member left the alliance and went rogue on Anarchy Inc., a DuckRoll alliance. Umbrella then attacked that nation after AI failed to keep the nation from running to Peace Mode (which shields a nation from attacks, also prevents it from attacking) a week later. AI became furious saying that Umbrella was breaking game rules by attacking that nation (ie "War Slot Filling", declaring war to prevent others from doing so while not attacking at all) even though Umbrella was going full out in their assault. It ended up being just enough to start a war over and so one was fought. Our side was grossly outnumbered in total nations by a factor of 4:1, however our side had a tight grip on the top spots in the game because we have a lot of really large and well built nations.

After months of hard fighting and in spite of a couple bad strategic decisions made by our side, we fought the opposing force to a stalemate. Our coalition on the whole had put up a damage ratio of 2 for the first several weeks and kept it at or above 1.1 for the remainder of the war. However this was a war of attrition we simply couldn't win in the long run unless the other side began to break. We eventually brought the war to a close and surrendered after months of hard work and achieving various goals we had for the conflict. Even though we had to admit defeat, we were able to thoroughly decimate the other side's contingent of enormous nations and broke their will to fight us again. What this means is, the NPO and DuckRoll only had that one chance to eliminate our bloc, Doomhouse, and they came up way, way short. They will not get another opportunity for years, though if we play our cards right, never. With the war now over, both sides have begun rebuilding their nations and our sphere of alliances is already doing this far more efficiently than the other side.

We're getting back into a lot of the usual poo poo we do - raiding micros, collecting tears, socializing nation growth. At the moment we have an excess of mid and large sized nations (mostly mid!) with a lot of money and a need for technology. What that means if new players will be getting a lot of financial aid upon joining up in exchange for technology. These "Tech Deals" are a part of our Nationalization program that was very effective in foreign aid slot (each nation gets 5, 6 with a special thing you can buy with ingame money) utilization and growth prior to the war. There are also plenty of really small nations that 3 day old newbies can plunder at will.

Sycophants Wanted


There is always a need for talented individuals to advance the goals of our alliance. There are many entry level positions available. Squad Leaders are needed to coordinate military activities, tech raids and keep track of the Enemy of GOONS list. Diplomats are needed to establish and maintain relationships with other entities through forum-to-forum diplomacy and the use of Internet Relay Chat. Economic staff are always needed to develop and execute alliance growth programs. If you excel in your role, you will be rapidly promoted, especially if you demonstrate a high level of commitment. You don't need to have a job to do however, it's perfectly acceptable to be a regular member and enjoy the show.

Holy poo poo you can change your resources now!
If you've played this game before there isn't much of anything new for you to learn about aside from being able to change your nation's resources at will, once a month. What does this mean? It means: DO NOT CHANGE YOUR RESOURCES WHEN YOU SIGN UP. Wait until you've found a trade circle and then change to what is needed. Those of you who have played before will understand how long overdue this update has been. Trading and organizing trade rings has never been easier. If you quit previously because of how ridiculously difficult it was to set up and maintain a trade ring, now is a great time to consider rejoining. You can also buy up to 100 land and infrastructure at a time, another long overdue change.

About the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence and Sadism



Military: Our military has recently undergone radical changes under our new Strategos (Secretary of Defense) that streamline nation growth through slot nationalization and better organize our nations to meet the goals assigned to them. Slot nationalization puts you in the backseat while Big Government oversees your growth by taking ownership of your foreign aid slots, dictating their use. We have a voluntary squad system for those active enough and interested enough in banding together in small groups to break the nations of overly obsessive pubbies.

Politically:
We are a member of the Doom House MDoAP (Mutual Defense and Optional Aggression Pact) bloc with the Mushroom Kingdom and Umbrella. We have other allies like the Viridian Entente, Non Grata, The Last Remnants and our protectorate Los Pollos Hermanos. But we are part of a bigger sphere of alliances between Doom House (DH + The Order of the Paradox, VE, Nordreich, Alchemy, Mortal Wombat, The Order of the Reaper and The Sweet Oblivion) and Complaints and Grievances, a MADP (Mutual Aggression and Defense Pact) bloc featuring The Last Remnants, the Orange Defense Network, the Global Alliance and Treaty Organization and The International. Between our two spheres reside an overwhelming majority of the most competent alliances in Cybernations when it comes to warfare, nation building, pursuing foreign policy and even the simple art of posting.

The political meta-game is a very interesting and complex system you won't find in most other games aside from Eve Online. We are always looking to better our position in the game and as such our foreign affairs department is undergoing various reforms and actively recruiting new staff members. We have a lot of interesting opportunities for you aspiring internet diplomats. There is always room for advancement within the department. If pitting pubbies against each other to our benefit interests you, become a diplomat today*!


*must graduate from gooncamp first

Economically:
We have seen the light and are now internet spreadsheet socialists. Before the war our Strategos had radically transformed the way we grow as an alliance by taking ownership of all foreign aid slots of goons and organizing them to into two groups - those who need to buy technology and those who sell technology. In doing so we were able to build a stable series of tech trading between our nations, maximizing growth and slot efficiency. Currently much of what happened then is true now: every aid slot of every goon is under the control of our economic and defense departments, with defense taking more of a support role in organizing and implementing the program this time.



Sign Up Now And Join The Fight!!

CyberNations can be accessed at www.cybernations.net. However you should line the pockets of present members by using one of the following referral URLs to sign up:

Referral 1: Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz
Referral 2: Lairek
Referral 3: Hajj Podge
Referral 4: Ajaxify
Referral 5: dalstrs
Referral 6: r00tn00b



When registering, check here for the basics on how to get your nation set up from the start. From there head on over to our forums to create an account so you can start running other peoples' poo poo into the ground (you'll need to fill out this form and go through quick 'Training'). Simple as that!

Questions?
Post here. Or on our forums. You can also find us at #cybergoons on synIRC.


Tears












Edit: Please don't advertise for other games here. This thread is for the goon outfit in Cybernations.

Hajj Podge fucked around with this message at May 17, 2013 around 03:31

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Volume
May 2, 2008

Now I don't know how you guys do it but when I'm in my underwear I like to have a good time.

I've never played CyberNations but how dare you post a recruitment thread and not include screenshots of people private messaging you with utter rage that you destroyed their country?

dalstrs
Mar 11, 2004

At least this way my kill will have some use

Volume posted:

I've never played CyberNations but how dare you post a recruitment thread and not include screenshots of people private messaging you with utter rage that you destroyed their country?

This is a good question, fix this travesty!

Do Not Fear Jazz
Feb 1, 2005

Embrace it






It's a good time, though those are just some of the things going on right now, the potential for tears is amazing.

Also just in case any of the mods ask, I did get permission from Toby to post this thread.

Hajj Podge
Aug 4, 2009



Volume posted:

I've never played CyberNations but how dare you post a recruitment thread and not include screenshots of people private messaging you with utter rage that you destroyed their country?

You're absolutely right! I forgot the best part of a recruitment thread:





quote:

To: BobDesc From: RSz151 Date: 1/28/2013 10:56:46 AM

Subject: RE: Nuclear Attack
Message: Dude, nuking me? Not cool.

This is but a taste.

Tristesse
Feb 23, 2006

Chasing the dream.


This game and most everyone in it sucks which is why everyone should join goons and make those shitasses cry.

Fart.

Sardonik
Jul 1, 2005



I'm the leader of this motley crew. I have to say, now is the best time to join, you'll be joining in a target-rich environment, full of soft targets to get amusing messages like the above from.

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the cow


Where should I place my nation? I played this way back and it's such a simple but time consuming browser game. I had a lot of fun with it but never did anything. My username on there is Cowman.

Do Not Fear Jazz
Feb 1, 2005

Embrace it


Sardonik posted:

I'm the leader of this motley crew. I have to say, now is the best time to join, you'll be joining in a target-rich environment, full of soft targets to get amusing messages like the above from.

And one day your nation will be big and strong and have nuclear weapons and when it does, nuke this guy as part of a long standing GOONS tradition.

Cowman posted:

Where should I place my nation? I played this way back and it's such a simple but time consuming browser game. I had a lot of fun with it but never did anything. My username on there is Cowman.


Completely up to you, nation location doesn't affect game play.

AtomikKrab
Jul 17, 2010

Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.


I play this, I highly recommend reading the OWRP forum on there if you can manage to stand it. IT IS HILARIOUS how they whine bitch and moan.


Also recently: A bunch of dinosaurs came in on our side. Also the Nazi alliance... I guess they are on our side?


Anyway it literally takes you less than 5 minutes a day to wreck peoples poo poo. Maybe 10 minutes if you are doing complicated things, I highly recommend it, the tears to effort ratio is off the scales. Hell people have designed programs to take away ALL THE loving WORK that we might have to do and make kicking people in the junk even easier.

Nothing is more satisfying than getting someone to curse you out, reporting it and watching the mods delete their nation for you.

Schwarbage
Mar 31, 2009



Hajj Podge posted:

Politically:
We are a member of the Doom House MDoAP (Mutual Defense and Optional Aggression Pact) bloc with the Mushroom Kingdom and Umbrella. We have other allies like the Viridian Entente, Non Grata, The Last Remnants and Alpha Omega. But we are part of a bigger sphere of alliances between Doom House (DH + The Order of the Paradox, VE, Nordreich, Deinos, Alchemy, Mortal Wombat, The Order of the Reaper and The Sweet Oblivion) and Complaints and Grievances, a MADP (Mutual Aggression and Defense Pact) bloc featuring The Last Remnants, the Orange Defense Network, the Global Alliance and Treaty Organization and The International. Between our two spheres reside an overwhelming majority of the most competent alliances in Cybernations when it comes to warfare, pursuing foreign policy and even posting.

Why the hell were they allowed to reform?

Do Not Fear Jazz
Feb 1, 2005

Embrace it


Schwarbage posted:

Why the hell were they allowed to reform?

They also let us reform the Unjust Path (Doomhouse), so I mean, it's not like much of the player base has any smarts.

AtomikKrab
Jul 17, 2010

Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.





Behold our Allies declaring war.


Our enemies are not fit for consumption.

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the cow


The Nation of Winners ruled by Lord Cowman has been made. I filled out the form on your forums and have upgraded my nation as much as I currently can. Bought a bunch of land, soldiers, infrastructure and technology. I hope this is the right link, but here is my nation

Schwarbage
Mar 31, 2009



loving hell GOONS is currently ranked below Nordreich, The Legion, LoSS, and... loving GATO? Really?

Why would anyone want to play this game. It seems to actively reward being persistently terrible over any actual skill.

Crawley Heat
Dec 27, 2011

by T. Mascis


This is like the Urban Dead thread.

2 or 3 people jacking it to a rotting orange.

Or is it more like Habbo? (neither is good)

Crawley Heat fucked around with this message at Jan 31, 2013 around 00:05

Hajj Podge
Aug 4, 2009



Schwarbage posted:

loving hell GOONS is currently ranked below Nordreich, The Legion, LoSS, and... loving GATO? Really?

Why would anyone want to play this game. It seems to actively reward being persistently terrible over any actual skill.

Well we are at war so we have taken a stat hit. Even so, having a lot of NS doesn't mean poo poo if you can't put it to good use.

Sammus
Nov 30, 2005



Crawley Heat posted:

This is like the Urban Dead thread.

2 or 3 people jacking it to a rotting orange.

As I recall we were able to milk quite a few tears out of the Urban Dead player base last year. I remember we got some dude to attempt to tell us off by talking about how helpful his assburgers was in his line of work, and how having assburgers was a good thing.

AtomikKrab
Jul 17, 2010

Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.


Crawley Heat posted:

This is like the Urban Dead thread.

2 or 3 people jacking it to a rotting orange.

It would rot faster if you came in and helped us KILL cybernations for oyur own amusement.

Cryptic Edge
Aug 4, 2006

by Y Kant Ozma Post


So, the doc says to join stupid newbie on the black team, there is no stupid newbie on the black team. Who the gently caress do I join so I can harass pubbies?

VikingSkull
Jul 23, 2008

A problem has been detected and windows has been shutdown to prevent damage to your computer.

I've actually been playing CN since 2006 and I have no idea why. I'm one of the dregs, though

d3c0y2
Sep 29, 2009


Jesus as soon as I joined like three people sent me recruitment messages. People are really hungering for this game, ain't they.

Cryptic Edge posted:

So, the doc says to join stupid newbie on the black team, there is no stupid newbie on the black team. Who the gently caress do I join so I can harass pubbies?

The guide was a bit crap, to join stupid newbie and change flag I actually had to create my nation and then go edit nation.

Cryptic Edge
Aug 4, 2006

by Y Kant Ozma Post


d3c0y2 posted:

Jesus as soon as I joined like three people sent me recruitment messages. People are really hungering for this game, ain't they.


The guide was a bit crap, to join stupid newbie and change flag I actually had to create my nation and then go edit nation.

There is no stupid newbie option on mine... That's why I ask, I've created the nation, changed to black, but have no stupid newbie listed on the drop down.

AtomikKrab
Jul 17, 2010

Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.


OK just make it and edit your stuff in game to what it is supposed to be You have to do a lot of it manually, it should have an option to just enter your own, enter stupid newbie, the flag exists you gotta scroll to find it I think, does not take very long to do at all.
Listen to guides, get on IRC. I can help you in either of #gooncamp, #tit, on irc.synirc.net I will teach you to not be shameful and wreck faces.

Hajj Podge
Aug 4, 2009



Cryptic Edge posted:

There is no stupid newbie option on mine... That's why I ask, I've created the nation, changed to black, but have no stupid newbie listed on the drop down.

In the drop down menu, select "Specify Other" then enter Stupid Newbie.

d3c0y2
Sep 29, 2009


Cryptic Edge posted:

There is no stupid newbie option on mine... That's why I ask, I've created the nation, changed to black, but have no stupid newbie listed on the drop down.

Go to edit nation, click on "Edit My Nation" take the drop down box in Alliance Affiliation to specify other, then type Stupid Newbie in. I literally did this two minutes ago

EDIT: And just filled out a CN GOON form!

d3c0y2 fucked around with this message at Jan 31, 2013 around 00:16

Hajj Podge
Aug 4, 2009





Voluntarily posted to the game's forums by one player who is a Greek nationalist in the real world.

Do Not Fear Jazz
Feb 1, 2005

Embrace it


Hajj Podge posted:



Voluntarily posted to the game's forums by one player who is a Greek nationalist in the real world.

...Who posted that? I am going to nuke his nation.

Cryptic Edge
Aug 4, 2006

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Hajj Podge posted:

In the drop down menu, select "Specify Other" then enter Stupid Newbie.

Thank you, I feel like such a stupid newbie...

Edit: I made my application too.

Cryptic Edge fucked around with this message at Jan 31, 2013 around 00:29

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

maybe i'm just too demanding

Reopened!

Downtown Abey fucked around with this message at Jan 31, 2013 around 20:08

AtomikKrab
Jul 17, 2010

Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.


Umbrella has literally billions of CN dollars to give you in 3m doses, and 2000 troops as well, that is a gently caress load of troops for baby tier, you can absolutely wreck anyone you can reach with that, especially if you HULK properly.

Downtown Abey
Feb 14, 2002

maybe i'm just too demanding

Reopened with Toby's blessing.

HallelujahLee
May 3, 2009


Id recommend this piece of poo poo to anyone who likes to troll as basically that's all there is to do. Also I believe you guys are fighting the trash can right I am sure all you old-time players will remember them.

neogeo0823
Jul 4, 2007

hello i am your shadow how nice to meet you


Hello, everybody! I'm neogeo0823, and I'm one of the Company Commanders of the HomeGroan Company of GOONS. SO, fun fact time! The devs recently added a nifty calculator tool to the game. While you are at war with a nation, you will see a calculator icon next to the war info. Clicking it will give you statistics about the current war. While not perfect, it's a handy way to quickly see who's killing whom better in a war.

These should give you a taste of how bad these guys are:





Now, note a couple things here. In all 3 graphs, I'm the yellow portion. That graph is of how much stuff has been lost, total, in the war.

The other thing to note is the 2nd graph. See how I'm juuust over the 50% line? Wanna know why? In this game, you can nuke targets after you grow a bit. When you nuke a guy, the more tech you have, the more damage the nuke does. You can only be nuked once per day, so it's smarter to have the guy with the most tech nuke the target. I'm fighting this target with 3 other guys, and one of them has more tech than me, therefore they're nuking this guy and I'm not.

Interestingly, this guy is the one that's been nuking me every day. This means I'm doing just slightly less damage to this guy over the course of the war, even though he's nuking me daily and I'm not nuking him at all. I'm not a special case, either. These guys are just terrible at attacking properly.

Evilreaver
Feb 26, 2007

GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!

While I'm mostly in a losing position, I had two nobodys declare on me, and my attacks on them are funding the wars on the two real targets I'm fighting. Plus my spy ops are incinerating $10M a day off both of them (about 12-15 days of play each day). Plus the lowbies give me a non-SDI protected target for my nukes

SpaceGirlArt
Mar 29, 2008


I'll give it a shot!

Hajj Podge
Aug 4, 2009



Do Not Fear Jazz posted:

...Who posted that? I am going to nuke his nation.

The Hellas guy Umbrella caught some flak for raiding last year.


Call Me Abey posted:

Reopened with Toby's blessing.

Thanks!

Do Not Fear Jazz
Feb 1, 2005

Embrace it


HallelujahLee posted:

Id recommend this piece of poo poo to anyone who likes to troll as basically that's all there is to do. Also I believe you guys are fighting the trash can right I am sure all you old-time players will remember them.

It's ok I am trying to convince the entire player base that GOONS/Doomhouse wants a world with no rules like the one they are making and that this was all just a clever trap by us.

juliuspringle
Jul 7, 2007

I think the prison rape of teenagers is hilarious. I'm basically a human shaped lump of shit, please remind me of this at every opportunity.

So how do I join the goons? I already have two emails asking me to join people that aren't the goons.

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Cryptic Edge
Aug 4, 2006

by Y Kant Ozma Post


juliuspringle posted:

So how do I join the goons? I already have two emails asking me to join people that aren't the goons.

On team black, go to other for the alliance, then type in stupid newbie.

After that, go to the cngoons forums and post an app, and you'll get processed in and told the real alliance name.

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