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Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES
So a little bit of background. My parents are devout Christians. Not going to say which specific denomination. Me and my brother are adults. We still live with our parents and neither of us are employed. I just graduated college and I'm in an internship while my brother is still studying. Both our mom and dad have made it clear that they don't want any form of media that could be considered against the Bible in our house, but for the longest time we've maintained a sort of unspoken truce. As long as we keep it to ourselves and away from the family, they tolerate it. I can't watch an R-rated movie on the TV in the living room, but I can watch it on my laptop away from everyone else. That sort of thing. Moving on.

On this night, my brother, who I will call Danny, was watching some TV show. I think it was Chicago Fire. Well, one particular scene included two women kissing eachother. My mom was doing work on the family computer next to her and saw the scene. Since homosexuality is, according to my parents, a sin, she demanded my brother to turn it off. Danny refused and things escalated. He insults her, she gets belligerent, and then she rushes after him to take away his cellphone. The two of them rush into my room where I'm typing away something for my blog and she starts getting violent. My dad comes in to hold her back and I threaten to call the police if she doesn't calm down. My mom retreats to the living room while Danny stews away here in the room.

Now the underlying issue is, besides our choices in media consumption, financial issues. My brother alone owes Mom about a thousand dollars in credit card bills. Money is tight and Dad is receiving unemployment benefits while doing part-time work. Mom is working as a teaching assistant while taking classes to earn her credentials. Since none of us make an income, we are unable to contribute significantly into groceries or rent. So the whole culture clash between our parent's conservative views on morality and our more liberal sense on what media we consume was ultimately the trigger to the larger stresses of financial uncertainty.

Now here's the thing. My mom has threatened and demanded us to throw out anything we hold on to that is sinful in nature before. The last time was a giant freak out when she saw me watching porn on my computer. She went as far as to threaten to throw my computer out, stop paying for internet, throw the TV out, etc. I counter with telling her that I'll press charges of theft and property destruction. She turns around and tells me she can have me thrown out of the house. Dad, while not as belligerent, more or less agrees with her. To put it simply, I live in a house where my family wants to censure what we can read, watch, and listen to in this house and doesn't want us holding anything that would be deemed offensive to their beliefs. Since this whole thing started over a lesbian kissing scene, you can pretty much figure out their views on what's offensive.

And that's pretty much our situation. I collect comics and a substantial number of them are mature-rated indie series stored away in boxes. I can see that over the horizon, my parents are going to go thru my collection and demand that I throw them out. Goons, this collection has been done over a couple of years and as childish as it may sound, there's a real sentimental and monetary value to them. I love comics. I love reading them and collecting them. As much as I am in no position to live independently, I still feel I have a right to buy, consume, and own whatever media I chose. And for them to destroy or throw it out would be what I feel is destruction of personal property. But ultimately they have the leverage of this being their place and the ability to throw us out if they choose. What do we do, Goons? Do we rent a place to hide our books, games, and movies away? Should we confront them about all this? Neither of us can move out at the moment or rent a place together, so we're dependent on the lodging, food, and utilities that our parents provide. What should we do?

EDIT #1: both me and Danny are actively seeking employment. We're also contributing for groceries and the phone bill thru meager savings. My internship is for a political campaign that, while unpaid, does look promising for connections and networking.

EDIT #2: Yeah I sound like a winny teen for thinking "my stuff!" first before "move out as soon as I can". With no employment, I'm not going to invest in a place to stay in right now. Nor a car because I want regular employment for upkeep (gas, repairs, etc.) I've kinda resigned myself that I'm going to stay here for a while.

EDIT #3: I realize also that I'm sounding like a entitled little poo poo too. I came here to E/N not for sympathy or ego-stroking, but for the swift rear end kicking I'd recive. I needed a reality check, perspective, and advice and I got it. Thanks goons.

Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Jan 31, 2013

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blackflare
Dec 6, 2004

I am a Purrrfect Princess

Could you find a friend that will let you stash your junk in his closet for awhile?

Darude - Adam Sandstorm
Aug 16, 2012

Are you paying rent?

Professor Dog
Jul 25, 2007
It can be pretty hard living with your folks after finishing university. When I was back at home after working overseas for a while, I would occasionally slip back into my adolescent self. I think the important thing is just to keep in mind two things: 1) It's temporary, and you will move out when your internship finishes, so no need to escalate things too far. 2) You're living under their roof and eating their food. So you really should respect their rules. You say you buy comics -- where do you get that money from? Do you contribute anything to rent, groceries, etc? I love comics myself, but when I was with my parents I still put paying board/doing chores above buying the latest Spidey. It was a good motivator to move out!

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005
Is there something keeping your brother from working a part time job during school? Especially since he has no problem spending your parent's money and racking up debt?

Is your internship free or paid, and if its paid, if your brother had a part time job you could probably move out and live with each other (although depending on your post-internship plans, that might leave him in the lurch if you are moving for employment afterwards).

If you're living for free with your parents respecting their house rules is pretty much part of the deal.

supernatural blonde
Mar 15, 2005

Lipstick Apathy
Sell your stuff and give the money to your parents to help pay for yourselves. Your mum is crazy but she has the right to not want porn or adult television that upsets her in her home or anything else for that matter. Their house, their rules. Can't you or your brother get at least one part time job between you?

Manifest Despair
Aug 20, 2008
Let them know that when they reach old age and can no longer take care of themselves, thus relying on you, that you'll throw out their bibles/jesus paintings. Praying will also be forbidden.

RalAegidius
Nov 12, 2004

It's a crow. In a box.
If money's really that tight, you might want to consider doing away with some of your more costly hobbies, like the comic books, and contributing to the household. If your mom is paying for the internet service, she's certainly within her rights to shut it off. As long as you're living at home and not paying rent, you have to live by your parents' rules. You'll survive. Concentrate on getting out on your own and then you can do whatever you want.

Professor Dog
Jul 25, 2007
You mention the police/pressing charges a couple of times in your post. Have you ever felt the need to do so?

Also, have you and your family sat down and talked about your living arrangements or is it just informal (except for the whole no lesbos thing). By sat down and talked, I mean worked out what their expectations are, your expectations are, and so on.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug
I get that your mom is being unreasonable, but did you really expect to garner much sympathy with "my parents struggling to pay the bills might throw out items I spent money on rather than helping out with food and lodging"? I mean are you aware that there's no backup set of parents to go to if your family can't pay the rent? Has the concept of not having enough money to buy food or shelter crossed your mind as important enough to not be spending your money on frivolous poo poo?

Your options are:
1. Stop buying poo poo and/or sell your comic books and use any/all savings to work on moving out and becoming independent asap.
2. Stop buying poo poo and/or sell your comic books and use any/all savings help out with the household expenses.
3. A mixture of 1/2

How can someone be so clueless and entitled? It always baffles me when someone posts an E/N thread that consists of them doing pretty much everything wrong and you can just feel their expectation that everyone will think they're in the right.

BillNyeTheNaziSpy
May 28, 2010

by Y Kant Ozma Post
Danny pissed off mom again by watching the gays on the demon tube. Advice?

Sockmuppet
Aug 15, 2009
Their rules are offensive and dumb, but they are completely within their right to demand that you obey them, concidering that they're paying for your rent, food, utilities and everything else.

Unless you're both under the age of 18 you and your brother are basically mooching of your parents, who are already struggling financially, yet, as people pointed out, you've apparently got the money to buy stuff for yourselves.

Accept their rules or start paying your own way, either by contributing to the household or moving out.

Chas McGill
Oct 29, 2010

loves Fat Philippe
Their house, their rules. Find a place to stash your comics until you're able to move out. Or, as others have suggested, sell them and contribute to household expenses.

Shonagon
Mar 27, 2005

It is impervious to reason or pleading, it knows no mercy or patience.

quote:

we've maintained a sort of unspoken truce. As long as we keep it to ourselves and away from the family, they tolerate it. I can't watch an R-rated movie on the TV in the living room, but I can watch it on my laptop away from everyone else.

quote:

On this night, my brother, who I will call Danny, was watching some TV show. I think it was Chicago Fire. Well, one particular scene included two women kissing eachother. My mom was doing work on the family computer next to her and saw the scene. Since homosexuality is, according to my parents, a sin, she demanded my brother to turn it off. Danny refused and things escalated. He insults her...

So, basically, Danny broke the truce by putting on what they consider unacceptable material right in front of them, and then threw a fit at your mother when she objected.

quote:

My brother alone owes Mom about a thousand dollars in credit card bills.

Your brother is a little poo poo. gently caress you, Danny. Your dad's unemployed, your mum's working all the hours and studying, and Danny is sitting on his fat arse running up bills he can't pay and whining when his mother wants him to respect what are obviously clear house rules.

Tell Danny to apologise to your mother. She has lovely views, but she's entitled to say what's shown on the TV she pays for in her own sitting room. Frankly, I'd want to believe in an afterlife too if my life on earth was working my arse off to pay for a pair of grown men to buy comics and whine about television.

Obviously, it's not a comfortable living situation for you, but while you are living on your parents' house without making any contribution, you need to respect their rules, and if you can't respect their rules, you need to get a bit more active about moving out.

Manifest Despair
Aug 20, 2008

Sockmuppet posted:

Their rules are offensive and dumb, but they are completely within their right to demand that you obey them, concidering that they're paying for your rent, food, utilities and everything else.
To be fair the government is paying for some of their rent, food, and utilities via unemployment benefits, so the taxpayers have decided that they have a 20 sq. ft. free speech zone on the residence where the 1st Amendment must be observed.

bunnybean
Mar 31, 2010

It is hysterical that you threatened to sue your impoverished parents while being completely dependent upon them. "Mom, I'm suing you for destruction of personal property, character assassination and the breaking of my heart! *slams door*"

Your parents have every right to set whatever kind of rule they want to on the media allowed in their home. They're certainly doing themselves no favors by having two non-working adults living with them, eating their food and running up utilities, especially when they are also struggling to get by. You and Danny owe your parents a huge apology; go hug your mom and watch a Disney movie with her or something.

Reene
Aug 26, 2005

:justpost:

How the gently caress did your brother rack up a thousand dollars of credit card debt?

I live on my own going to school full time and spending what is frankly way too much on food and entertainment and the only credit card I own has a 750 dollar limit and I cannot imagine ever hitting it unless some dire financial poo poo happened. Seriously, what are college kids doing while living at home that costs so goddamn much?

Emacs Headroom
Aug 2, 2003

Manifest Despair posted:

To be fair the government is paying for some of their rent, food, and utilities via unemployment benefits, so the taxpayers have decided that they have a 20 sq. ft. free speech zone on the residence where the 1st Amendment must be observed.

This is true, but the free speech zones are located in the bathroom and the part of Danny's room that you can't see from the hallway.

Samuel
Nov 5, 2011

Shonagon posted:

Your brother is a little poo poo. gently caress you, Danny. Your dad's unemployed, your mum's working all the hours and studying, and Danny is sitting on his fat arse running up bills he can't pay and whining when his mother wants him to respect what are obviously clear house rules.

Tell Danny to apologise to your mother. She has lovely views, but she's entitled to say what's shown on the TV she pays for in her own sitting room. Frankly, I'd want to believe in an afterlife too if my life on earth was working my arse off to pay for a pair of grown men to buy comics and whine about television.

Obviously, it's not a comfortable living situation for you, but while you are living on your parents' house without making any contribution, you need to respect their rules, and if you can't respect their rules, you need to get a bit more active about moving out.

Basically this, you're not entitled to anything unless you finally land a job after your internship and you need to slap some sense into your brother.
I had to pay my parents rent when I was living there, I was taught to never spend money I don't have, let alone somebody else's. Your bro needs to get it together.

Odrade
May 1, 2009
As conservative Christians of one kind or other your parents probably find it pretty upsetting having stuff that they genuinely consider to be spiritually polluting in their house. Yes, none of us agree with them on this particular issue but I can imagine media that I would definitely not want any theoretical adult sons watching or reading on my dime as well. Turning a blind eye seems cool of them, they obviously love you but you're both taking the piss. Their rules seem ridiculous to me but if you can't live without openly flouting them you shouldn't be living there.

The other issue is that you say your Mum was getting violent. How? Because that might well be another reason why you shouldn't be living there.

You should both be looking to either move out or to contribute meaningfully to the rent/bills. Speak to your brother about it and see if you haven't got enough free hours between you to work towards getting a place. You may need to cut down the blogging and he will probably need to watch his erotic cop stories less. It will most likely be a huge relief to your parents.

(Did anyone else feel really sorry for the Dad in this story? He's working as hard as he can, probably a deacon or something in the church, people look up to him and stuff. Then he gets home and instead of the nice quiet family life he wants he gets adult men throwing strops about TV and a wife who's crying into the ironing and trying to break stuff. Poor Benny the Snake Snr.)

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Benny the Snake posted:

As much as I am in no position to live independently, I still feel I have a right to buy, consume, and own whatever media I chose.

You should think about what you wrote here. I have some hobbies that I like and are expensive, but when I was scraping by after college, I didn't spend money on them. I deferred my spending to a later date, because you know what? Being financially independent, having a roof over your head and food on the table is more important than your hobbies. Your living situation with your mother and father sucks. You need to dedicate your time, money and energy to putting yourself in a position to change it, rather than whining about My Rights.

BAKA FLOCKA FLAME
Oct 9, 2012

by Pipski
Tell her God doesn't exist and do a kickflip off her forehead.

Shonagon
Mar 27, 2005

It is impervious to reason or pleading, it knows no mercy or patience.

Odrade posted:

Did anyone else feel really sorry for the Dad in this story? He's working as hard as he can, probably a deacon or something in the church, people look up to him and stuff. Then he gets home and instead of the nice quiet family life he wants he gets adult men throwing strops about TV and a wife who's crying into the ironing and trying to break stuff. Poor Benny the Snake Snr.

I'm sorrier for the mother, who is working a full job, carrying the main burden of supporting the family and studying in the evenings, in the desperate hope that at least one of her adult sons will take the hint that they're meant to be doing this, prepatory to GROWING UP AND MOVING OUT. It doesn't make screaming and yelling when they're thoughtless and disrespectful OK, but it certainly makes it understandable.

I bet they lie in bed at night, in silence. Eventually one of them will say, simply, '...I just thought they'd have gone by now.' And the other will reply, 'They'll never go.'

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Yeah I don't think freaking out to the point of someone having to threaten to call the police to get you to calm down really falls under the category of "parents trying to tell their kids to move out but in the wrong way."

Nice Christian behavior, by the way. The most devout always seem like they have the biggest axe to grind. I feel sorry for any kids she might teach in the future who are different.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

You should think about what you wrote here. I have some hobbies that I like and are expensive, but when I was scraping by after college, I didn't spend money on them. I deferred my spending to a later date, because you know what? Being financially independent, having a roof over your head and food on the table is more important than your hobbies. Your living situation with your mother and father sucks. You need to dedicate your time, money and energy to putting yourself in a position to change it, rather than whining about My Rights.

I don't think watching TV constitutes a significant drain on resources. For all you know he pirates his media and the financial cost is zero. Also, 'you don't deserve entertainment or relaxation, bootstrap your way to success and don't take time for yourself until you are there.' He said his comics are worth money because he's accumulated his collection over time, not that he spends a bunch on them currently.


\/\/\/ Well he already finished college, and jobs are tight. He's in an especially lovely situation because all the minimum wage jobs you'd recommend he can just "get whenever he wants, just walk down the McDonalds!" (which is bullshit by the way, jobs are loving hard to get in this economic climate period) likely wouldn't hire him because he's too overqualified. College degree people taking jobs out of desperation will walk the second they get a better offer and managers know that.

Also, nowhere does he say his mom is doing a disproportionate amount of chores.

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 13:33 on Jan 31, 2013

Odrade
May 1, 2009

Shonagon posted:

I'm sorrier for the mother, who is working a full job, carrying the main burden of supporting the family and studying in the evenings, in the desperate hope that at least one of her adult sons will take the hint that they're meant to be doing this, prepatory to GROWING UP AND MOVING OUT.

Actually good point. Benny the Snake, why is it that your Mum can study and work at the same time and you and your brother can't? I hope to God that one day you come home one day to find no food in the house and no chores done and she's camped out on your bed eating chocolates and watching Joyce Meyer.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Dec 28, 2007

Kiss this and hang

You and Danny need to have a nice long chat about your responsibilities to the family. Right now you both look pretty bad. You to a lesser extent..but still..comics? Really? When you contribute nothing at all?

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:

You and Danny need to have a nice long chat about your responsibilities to the family. Right now you both look pretty bad. You to a lesser extent..but still..comics? Really? When you contribute nothing at all?

Again, he isn't saying he's spending all his money on comics. He isn't even saying he's spending ANY money on comics. All he said is he has a collection that has monetary value and that his parents will want to throw away. In fact, he hasn't really said anything at all about the chores he does, if he is searching for a job but unable to find one, etc.

It really isn't that weird to see a college grad with no immediate job prospects living with his parents again for a while. Yeah, his brother owes his parents money but that doesn't mean poo poo in regards to the OP's responsibilities.

He has the right to not have his property smashed and thrown away, and to not be screamed at regardless of what you may think about "haha lazy goon," or "lol YOUR rights :rolleyes:" I'd be pretty pissed if someone started screaming at me because something 'immoral' appeared on TV, which I have no control over whatsoever, unless he was playing a DVD or something he'd seen before.

Reene posted:

How the gently caress did your brother rack up a thousand dollars of credit card debt?

I live on my own going to school full time and spending what is frankly way too much on food and entertainment and the only credit card I own has a 750 dollar limit and I cannot imagine ever hitting it unless some dire financial poo poo happened. Seriously, what are college kids doing while living at home that costs so goddamn much?

I literally was broke for a semester in college and had to pay for gas/food all off my credit card, hoping my financial aid would come through. It never did for various stupid administrative reasons, but basically I maxed out my $1000 credit card. The difference is I just never paid it instead of getting my parents to.

\/\/\/ Yeah let's be respectful about beliefs involving screaming and violence towards your children because the naughty women kissed on TV. Let's also make unfounded assumptions and collectively jerk off over the goon stereotype you've apparently all jumped to because he owns comic books.

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 13:42 on Jan 31, 2013

bunnybean
Mar 31, 2010

You know you're a manchild when non-religious goons are more respectful of your parents' beliefs than you are.

OP, maybe you should ban yourself and get your mom an account here instead. We'll be nicer to her and give her some great advice in her upcoming E/N thread, "My Adult Children Are Ruining My Life."

Odrade
May 1, 2009

Moridin920 posted:

Well he already finished college, and jobs are tight. He's in an especially lovely situation because all the minimum wage jobs you'd recommend he can just "get whenever he wants, just walk down the McDonalds!" (which is bullshit by the way, jobs are loving hard to get in this economic climate period) likely wouldn't hire him because he's too overqualified. College degree people taking jobs out of desperation will walk the second they get a better offer and managers know that.

Yeah apart from I didn't say that at all. I said why can't he work. Because he's made it quite clear that he considers that his and his brother's time commitments make it so they are "unable" to contribute. If he's actively looking for paid work then I think it's a different story but the impression that he's giving is that him and his brother just plain cannot work because they have other poo poo to do. The same is true for their mother though, hence the question.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Dec 28, 2007

Kiss this and hang

Moridin920 posted:

Again, he isn't saying he's spending all his money on comics. He isn't even saying he's spending ANY money on comics. All he said is he has a collection that has monetary value and that his parents will want to throw away. In fact, he hasn't really said anything at all about the chores he does, if he is searching for a job but unable to find one, etc.

It really isn't that weird to see a college grad with no immediate job prospects living with his parents again for a while. Yeah, his brother owes his parents money but that doesn't mean poo poo in regards to the OP's responsibilities.

He has the right to not have his property smashed and thrown away, and to not be screamed at regardless of what you may think about "haha lazy goon," or "lol YOUR rights :rolleyes:"

\/\/\/ Yeah let's be respectful about beliefs involving screaming and violence towards your children because the naughty women kissed on TV. Let's also make unfounded assumptions and collectively jerk off over the goon stereotype you've apparently all jumped to because he owns comic books.

Ok lets set the comics aside. But reading between the lines, it was Danny who started this whole thing by "breaking the truce." You have to admit that was a dumb loving thing to do right? No wonder mom flipped her wig. Her son disrespected her wishes and probably not for the first time..she just lost it that time. Even the OP says both boys then went on to inflame the situation.

Oh I'm sure he'll come in here and try to explain all the great stuff he and his brother do to help out around the house, but it really sounds like the problem here is Danny. Not the parents.

almightyerin
Apr 16, 2007

The one the only. Accept no substitutes.
What exactly is stopping you from getting a part time job during the hours you're not doing intern stuff? Or your brother for that matter? Or are you too good to answer phones at Domino's from 5-8?

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:

Ok lets set the comics aside. But reading between the lines, it was Danny who started this whole thing by "breaking the truce." You have to admit that was a dumb loving thing to do right? No wonder mom flipped her wig. Her son disrespected her wishes and probably not for the first time..she just lost it that time. Even the OP says both boys then went on to inflame the situation.

Oh I'm sure he'll come in here and try to explain all the great stuff he and his brother do to help out around the house, but it really sounds like the problem here is Danny. Not the parents.

Danny sounds like a dumbass sure. Remember though, that the 'truce' was broken (sounds like this family has bad communication to begin with) because a scene appeared his mom didn't approve of on a TV show, which Danny had no control over. Unless Danny had previously seen that episode of whatever-the-gently caress, how could he in ANY way know that scene was going to be in there? So, when the mom then freaks and demands he shuts it off, you can see why a reasonable person would think "dude, that was in no way my fault and she's being a dick." And then the argument escalates. Plus, I just reread the OP and saw that Danny is in school, too. So, it's not like he's literally just being a shitbag doing nothing.

My issue is that there's total lack of communication and respect, but everyone is immediately white knighting this mom, when honestly, in any other circumstance other than parent/adult son we'd all be thinking "what a religious nutjob." She came into the OP's room, who was doing nothing wrong, to get violent with his brother, and his dad had to hold her back and OP had to threaten to call the cops to get her to chill out. These aren't actions that should be praised in any case. That's some poo poo I'd expect to see on Cops.

Odrade posted:

Yeah apart from I didn't say that at all. I said why can't he work. Because he's made it quite clear that he considers that his and his brother's time commitments make it so they are "unable" to contribute. If he's actively looking for paid work then I think it's a different story but the impression that he's giving is that him and his brother just plain cannot work because they have other poo poo to do. The same is true for their mother though, hence the question.

To me it seems like he made it clear he's unable to contribute because he has no income, not because they have other poo poo to do that's more important, like jerking off to hentai all day long. He has an internship, which from other threads you can learn means "be our slave for a while doing poo poo work not related to your field for no pay to maybe get a real job. Capitalism, bitch." Maybe that blog is a means to supplement income; he certainly wouldn't be the only one making money off AdSense.

An internship can literally be like a job. So unless you want him to work a regular job (which doesn't pay him) AND get another one (which he will probably not be able to find for a while) JUST SO he can not get screamed at by his mom, I don't really know what you want.

\/\/\/ Yeah but by the same token, Danny's not going to want to turn it off politely if he hears "What was that? WAS THAT TWO WOMEN...... KISSING EACH OTHER?! Danny. Don't you KNOW homosexuality is a SIN? What is wrong with you? Why do you have to watch such filth in our home? Turn it off, RIGHT NOW!!! Jesus SAVE this child!"

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 13:56 on Jan 31, 2013

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Dec 28, 2007

Kiss this and hang

Moridin920 posted:

My issue is that there's total lack of communication and respect.

You have to give it to get it. The "mature and respectful" thing would have been for Danny to say "oops, your right mom!" turn it off, then watch it later. They know "the rules", complaining about the rules after the fact and being little bitches about it doesn't make them look good.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Yeah but by the same token, Danny's not going to want to turn it off politely if he hears "What was that? WAS THAT TWO WOMEN...... KISSING EACH OTHER?! Danny. Don't you KNOW homosexuality is a SIN? What is wrong with you? Why do you have to watch such filth in our home? Turn it off, RIGHT NOW!!! Jesus SAVE this child!"

I don't get the feeling the exchange started with "Oops! Danny, you know the rules, I saw that scene and I'd like it if you turned that show off, now, please."

Plus you're conflating Danny's actions with the OP's, which isn't fair. All OP was doing was blogging on his computer in his room.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Dec 28, 2007

Kiss this and hang

Moridin920 posted:

Yeah but by the same token, Danny's not going to want to turn it off politely if he hears "What was that? WAS THAT TWO WOMEN...... KISSING EACH OTHER?! Danny. Don't you KNOW homosexuality is a SIN? What is wrong with you? Why do you have to watch such filth in our home? Turn it off, RIGHT NOW!!! Jesus SAVE this child!"

I don't get the feeling the exchange started with "Oops! Danny, you know the rules, I saw that scene and I'd like it if you turned that show off, now, please."

Plus you're conflating Danny's actions with the OP's, which isn't fair. All OP was doing was blogging on his computer in his room.

So they get to match grouch for grouch? They get to escalate things because mom yelled? They are living there by the good graces of the parents. The parents don't *have* to let them stay there. And no I'm conflating the brother with the OP. I've already stated that Danny boy is the problem and the OP needs to have a little chat with him because he's getting caught in the fallout.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:

So they get to match grouch for grouch? They get to escalate things because mom yelled? They are living there by the good graces of the parents. The parents don't *have* to let them stay there.

So, the escalation was Danny refusing to turn the TV off? Maybe all he wanted was a more polite sentence out of the mom. Either way, in the situation of Danny refusing to turn the TV off resulting in the mom chasing him around the house, presumably trying to hit him (what else does "started getting violent, dad had to hold her back, I had to threaten to call the cops" mean?), I'd say the mom is the one that escalated the situation way out of proportion. Who's matching grouch for grouch? OP just doesn't want his poo poo smashed and thrown away. Danny just wanted to finish the rest of the show which was presumably done with the lesbian scenes.

I don't agree with the 'living there with the good graces of parents' poo poo either. They brought him into the world, they don't get to just go "Nope you're 18 now, ALL FAMILY OBLIGATIONS ARE SEVERED BEEP BOOP." They are a family, they don't need a reason to live with each other beyond just wanting to help each other out. Parents supporting kids going through school/interning is a totally normal thing and it doesn't make OP subject to justified abuse.

At some point the parents will be old and it will be just as lovely for the kid to go "Nah, I'm an adult and I don't have to take care of you because you'll be a drain on my resources."

quote:

And no I'm conflating the brother with the OP.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:

complaining about the rules after the fact and being little bitches about it doesn't make them look good.

It seems to me OP was rightfully complaining about the overreaction, and everyone started calling him a lazy rear end. That particularly made me think that by Danny not turning off the TV, you said they were being bitches and arguing about the rules. If I misunderstood, sorry.

almightyerin posted:

What exactly is stopping you from getting a part time job during the hours you're not doing intern stuff? Or your brother for that matter? Or are you too good to answer phones at Domino's from 5-8?

Ooh, I worked at a Domino's, management no less, let me explain! First, Domino's won't hire you just to work from 5-8. If literally all you can work is 5-8, we'll PROBABLY go with another hire. I'm not saying only working the 5-8 rush shift as an insider never happens, but it isn't the norm unless it's a ridiculously busy store. For reference, I worked at a store in suburbia, did brisk business, about $3000-$5000 a day, depending on various poo poo like is it the weekend or whatever. My store was the busiest store out of 15 in the San Diego North county area, except the stores on base. When I say busy store, I mean a store on Camp Pendleton that goes through $20k a day easy. There aren't that many of those. If you say you're a college graduate and an intern, you're definitely not getting hired. Sorry! We're not training you just so you can only work 5-8 and then jump ship when you get a better job or your internship is over. Domino's doesn't hire people to just answer phones, you have to be fully trained in pizza making, oven tending, phones, the whole shebang. It's not worth it to hire someone we know will leave soon.

The 5-8 rush is the busiest time, so you might get hired as a high school kid making no money at all to work those hours. Seriously, 3 hours a day, minus taxes, in CA you'd maybe be clearing $140 a week if you worked 6 days a week. That's not really as much as it sounds like it is. The cost of living here makes that amount pretty paltry, actually. CA has a comfortable $8.50 minimum wage, by the way. So depending on where you live you might only be getting $7.25, the federal minimum wage.

If your three available hours a day aren't 5-8? gently caress off, we don't need people to work for just a few hours any time but the dinner rush. Also, I know this might not be the norm, but the way Domino's schedules, if you start at 5 and end at 8, but it's still busy at 8, you're not leaving. Sorry, dude. You're staying until it's not busy anymore, usually more like 8:30 or 9, and sometimes, for a special occasion like the Superbowl or Halloween, you're stuck until 10 or even later. Don't like it? See ya later, we've got a stack of applications.

What I said applies to literally 95% of similar jobs. In a nutshell, yes, OP is too good to be answering phones, and that's management's perspective, totally regardless of what OP thinks. "A college grad and interning. Nah, he'll definitely be outta here soon, where's that 19 year old with a kid on the way I know I can work 8 hours a day 6 days a week with total impunity who won't ever say peep to me?"

OP: you're in a lovely situation. You know you need to move out, but you can't afford it. I'd give as much as you can (prioritized by how valuable the stuff is to you) to a friend you trust to hold on to. I know I'd hold on to a bunch of boxes for a friend of mine. If it was a good friend he could even keep them with me indefinitely as long as it wasn't a ton of stuff. I'd avoid renting storage because if you aren't in a stable financial situation you could lose all your poo poo a la Storage Wars if you aren't able to pay up one month in the future. Plus it'd be a large drain on finances by itself.

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 14:36 on Jan 31, 2013

HelloIAmYourHeart
Dec 29, 2008
Fallen Rib
Are all of you guys missing the part where she "gets violent"? If there is physical abuse going on (along with the obviously emotionally unhealthy atmosphere), OP should really get his focus away from :qq: MY COMICS :qq: and into getting out.

OP, perhaps you could sell some of your comics to get a little money. Not all of them, but anyone with an extensive collection of anything has some items has some they can let go.

Also, I thought the show was going to be Hoarders and the mom was going to make them clean the house all hardcore.

almightyerin
Apr 16, 2007

The one the only. Accept no substitutes.
Good lord I picked a name out of the air. Substitute Papa Johns for Dominos, whatever. My whole point was that there are part time flexible jobs that you can get as a second job. And yes, actually, Dominos will hire you for just the volume shift, albeit as a driver usually.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

HelloIAmYourHeart posted:

Are all of you guys missing the part where she "gets violent"?

Nah dude, OP's spending all his time blogging and buying comics, while his brother watches hardcore lesbian porn in the family room, while the mom breaks her back to cook, clean, support the family, go to school, and otherwise be a total image of virtuous Christianity. She gets to blow of some steam every once in a while!

(I know I already said it but drat I feel sorry for any gay kids the mom will teach. People that religious have a hard time keeping it out of the classroom.)

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Shonagon
Mar 27, 2005

It is impervious to reason or pleading, it knows no mercy or patience.
You're right. The economy sucks, internships suck, it's extremely hard to find even a minimum wage job. Granted.

However, the fact that it sucks for him doesn't make it suck less for his parents. Yes, you're right, the mother shouldn't freak out and scream. I note that there's no suggestion in the OP that the family is abusive or prone to regular violence, and he says that Danny refused to turn off the TV and insulted his mother, so I read it much more as Mum reaching the end of her rope than a pattern of abuse. People do reach the end of their rope when they are working full time, studying, probably 45-50 years old, and supporting two adult children that, before the economy went to poo poo, they had expected to be independent by now. Particularly when both of those children apparently expect their parents to pay their credit card debts. You've got a lot on the kids rights, but imagine the stress the parents are under, with one poorly paid full-time job supporting four adults and a mortgage.

What this family actually needs is a sit-down where they say, "OK, we are now a four-adult family, we don't agree on everything, so this is how we'll get along until the sons are in a position to leave. Danny won't watch controversial programmes in the sitting room, Mum won't come into the kids' room/s if the door's shut. Both sons will do all the housework in lieu of rent until they are in a position to contribute financially. We will respect the parents' religious views by the magic of not discussing them and keeping our media confined to our rooms, where we will carry on as we please with the door shut."

This is all on the assumption that the mother's freakout is not standard behaviour, but that's the suggestion in the OP.

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