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So how did you get caught watching porn?
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Jan 31, 2013 19:47
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Take the money you don't have from the job you don't have and move to an apartment you can't afford. Take up a hobby you don't like and can't pay for like cars or carpentry. Put yourself in huge amounts of debt because E/N doesn't understand how tough it can be to get a job straight out of college right now because they did it themselves during an easier time and bray the same insufferable bullshit over and over. But yeah be nicer to your parents.
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Jan 31, 2013 19:49
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I wanna know what type of industry the OP is trying to get involved with, before we start singin the economy blues.
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Jan 31, 2013 19:55
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waste of internet posted:I wanna know what type of industry the OP is trying to get involved with, before we start singin the economy blues. Seeing as he's said he's been applying everywhere and anywhere, even at minimum wage fast food jobs, it's fair.
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Jan 31, 2013 19:58
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Vietnamwees posted:So women can't have genuine, or at least passing, interest in comic books? I'll remember that next time I'm talking to a woman and instead I'll explain why women aren't good drivers. I think it's odd that you find misogyny in my post, but can't see it in the OP's demand that his mother continue to care for him into his adulthood, and do so without complaint. Or with his viewing porn(which objectifies women). I say this as a man raised by a single mother, who started willingly paying rent to her at 17 because my father never paid a dime of child support.
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Jan 31, 2013 20:05
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Leopold N. Loeb posted:I think it's odd that you find misogyny in my post, but can't see it in the OP's demand that his mother continue to care for him into his adulthood, and do so without complaint. Or with his viewing porn(which objectifies women). I say this as a man raised by a single mother, who started willingly paying rent to her at 17 because my father never paid a dime of child support. The OP is kind of irrelevant in his criticism of your post? Did you not imply that he should cater his hobbies around things that will impress women?
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Jan 31, 2013 20:07
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gigawhite posted:Seeing as he's said he's been applying everywhere and anywhere, even at minimum wage fast food jobs, it's fair. No it's not. Every useless person is applying for these types of jobs and there are a TON of useless people looking for work. Everyone can push the "chicken" button when a customer orders chicken nuggets. That means the deciding factor for applicants is, "Who is just useful enough to do the job, but too useless for anything better?" People with skills apply for jobs which tend to have less competition, based on the location and industry. Ruby developers certainly aren't feeling the effects of the harsh economy. Let's make sure the OP is cultivating marketable skills as opposed to knocking on doors, asking people who they plan on voting for in the upcoming gubernatorial election. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Jan 31, 2013 |
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Jan 31, 2013 20:08
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Jeffrey posted:The OP is kind of irrelevant in his criticism of your post? Did you not imply that he should cater his hobbies around things that will impress women? That was not my intent, and it's a bit of a reach.
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Jan 31, 2013 20:12
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I have more sympathy than most posters for your situation. The economy is lovely. More and more grads are going to have no choice but to live at home. I think the "my house my rules" attitude is tremendously counter productive. My suggestion is that you sit down and try to negotiate some clear boundaries with your parents. Your mom gets final say on the TV in the main room, but what you watch in your room is your business. You put some of your savings toward food and utilities, you can have friends over until 8 on a weekday, 11 on a weekend. Whatever works. Note: for this to work, you will should be willing to make some real concessions for example selling your comic books or laptop or whatever to help pay for things. This does two things. One, it give everyone clear expectations. This is great because everybody knows where that line is so you can stay away from it. Two, it keeps you from getting lumped in with your brother when he starts things. Your brother mouths of to your mom, only he gets punished. Hopefully your parents are reasonable ish or at least recognize that they will need support in their old age.
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Jan 31, 2013 20:23
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Leopold N. Loeb posted:I think it's odd that you find misogyny in my post, but can't see it in the OP's demand that his mother continue to care for him into his adulthood, and do so without complaint. Or with his viewing porn(which objectifies women). I say this as a man raised by a single mother, who started willingly paying rent to her at 17 because my father never paid a dime of child support. Good grief, are you just selectively reading what the OP writes or what? -The OP is working at some kind of political internship that, while unpaid, will help him with other work opportunities in the future. While this probably isn't optimal since there's no payment, he's not at home playing video games and all day. -The OP does what he can by dipping into his savings to help pay for groceries and whatever around the house. It's not like he's not contributing anything to the household. In fact, the OP is going to stop buying comics now and put that money toward household groceries. -Do you honestly believe that every person that watches is a misogynist? I don't even understand why you brought this up, the OP just mentioned it as a past example of how his mom flipped her poo poo about inappropriate media in the house, and you paint it as if the OP is some sex-obsessed, porn-watching godless heathen. Your reaction to it is almost what I would expect from the OPs mother herself. What I bolded just makes you seem like you're bitter because you didn't have it as easy/didn't have as much help from your own parents. OP, its probably a good call that you're gonna stop getting comics to try to help your mom more, but as for the ones you already have, just find a safe way to store them, a lockbox, a friends house, under the floorboards in your room, whatever. As for moving out/money, just keep trying, the economy's rough on everyone right now. Get a LOT more proactive with your internship, try to stand out with your boss, get some letters of recommendation ready, whatever it takes.
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Jan 31, 2013 20:44
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I don't understand why the OP's mother should have to compromise about anything, ever. Her house, her rules. You're an adult; if you don't like it, couch surf or go to a shelter. Otherwise, use it as motivation for why you need to grow up. There is no reason why she should have to feel whatever it is that she feels when "dirty imagery" or whatever winds up in her home. It's her home and she's paying for it, and she has no obligation to care for her adult children. OP's parents are making huge sacrifices in their own lives to take care of their children; there is absolutely no reason why those children cannot make small sacrifices to keep the peace.
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Jan 31, 2013 20:45
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bunnybean posted:I don't understand why the OP's mother should have to compromise about anything, ever. Her house, her rules.
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Jan 31, 2013 20:54
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bunnybean posted:I don't understand why the OP's mother should have to compromise about anything, ever. Her house, her rules. You're an adult; if you don't like it, couch surf or go to a shelter. Otherwise, use it as motivation for why you need to grow up. There is no reason why she should have to feel whatever it is that she feels when "dirty imagery" or whatever winds up in her home. It's her home and she's paying for it, and she has no obligation to care for her adult children. OP's parents are making huge sacrifices in their own lives to take care of their children; there is absolutely no reason why those children cannot make small sacrifices to keep the peace. When one adult agrees to let another adult live in their home, there is an implicit contract that, while the owner makes the rules, the rules will be "reasonable". I'm not going to lay down an explicit definition of reasonable, but there are plenty of things that are over the line, including regulating what the OP does with his door closed while mom isn't there, given that it doesn't damage the property or affect her. The OP cannot change his living situation right now(though he should be setting goals and working on it, which it sounds like he is), and as sad as it is that our society doesn't provide it to all people, shelter with one's own space to do with as they wish is a basic human right. The mom is not obligated to keep providing him living quarters, but given that it is where he lives currently, he has the right to a modicum of privacy as long as he lives there. I'm not saying he shouldn't be appreciative/help out around the house/offer to help pay for household expenses/avoid watching porn in the living room, but he has a right to human dignity in his own room, and to not live in fear of his things being destroyed. The same would apply to a friend letting another friend crash in an extra room while they got back on their feet. It would be similarly unreasonable for them to destroy one's property.
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Jan 31, 2013 20:57
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Well people have been asking what industry am I trying to get into and what my internship responsibilities are. I graduated last fall with a BA in English Literature. My focus now is a job doing general office work (notary, secretary, organization, etc.). I'm passing out resumes to offices, mostly law. My internship responsibilites include voter outreach (putting names and numbers on a list, making calls) and social media (facebook, twitter, etc.). This is all so I can find a profession. In the meantime, I'm looking for part-time work to suplement myself and my family.
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Jan 31, 2013 21:13
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So the OP is trying to find work, working an internship, contributing to cable/cell/groceries and whatever, but because the dude spends like $15 a month on comics hes obviously a lazy manchild who should bootstraps up? Unless the OP cleverly picked one of maybe like 8 career paths in the world that is still easy to get into, it sounds like he's doing just about whatever he can to get the better of his position. 'Just get a job somewhere' isn't really viable advice like 9/10. Letting someone stay at your house is a totally huge pain in the rear end and them being your kids doesn't really mitigate that, however, when you accept that someone can stay in your house, that doesn't suddenly make you the grand poobah of their lives, you don't get to decide their own moral outlook and attempting to filter and gently caress with what they do in the space you have agreed to provide them with is only going to invite problems. If the situation was reversed and the OP was an atheist nutbag and was rambling on about how he saw his son watching some pastor talking on TV so now he's thinking about throwing out the kids Jesus Comics or whatever, I doubt the parent would be getting as much sympathy. Danny is a bit dumb though and maybe should have taken the smarter path with the whole TV blow up thing. I still think that the OP should be allowed to watch and do whatever he wants behind closed doors so long as he's not upsetting his crazyass nutbag parents. You guys need to work out a better compromise or work harder on hiding the things that will piss off your crazy abusive parents, basically.
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Jan 31, 2013 21:15
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Benny the Snake posted:Well people have been asking what industry am I trying to get into and what my internship responsibilities are. Try applying to local government agency jobs, including social services.
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Jan 31, 2013 21:18
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Jeffrey posted:When one adult agrees to let another adult live in their home, there is an implicit contract that, while the owner makes the rules, the rules will be "reasonable". I'm not going to lay down an explicit definition of reasonable, but there are plenty of things that are over the line, including regulating what the OP does with his door closed while mom isn't there, given that it doesn't damage the property or affect her. The OP cannot change his living situation right now(though he should be setting goals and working on it, which it sounds like he is), and as sad as it is that our society doesn't provide it to all people, shelter with one's own space to do with as they wish is a basic human right. The mom is not obligated to keep providing him living quarters, but given that it is where he lives currently, he has the right to a modicum of privacy as long as he lives there. At first I was thinking "Her house, her rules" but I have to think there are lines that shouldn't be crossed. Right off the bat I wonder how other people who think "Her house, her rules" would think about having cameras installed in each room to make sure that nothing immoral/dark-sided is going on under her roof. That being said that just changes my opinion from like it or get out to just get out. Looks like OP is making good steps towards that, but if you do have a friend who will hold boxes for you drop your stuff off with them in the meantime. -- As for your skillset OP, keep all your options open and don't focus too much on one(law in this case). Every office can use someone, but usually every office only needs One someone. Just keep on going. Alpha Kenny Juan fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Jan 31, 2013 |
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Jan 31, 2013 21:26
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bunnybean posted:I don't understand why the OP's mother should have to compromise about anything, ever. Her house, her rules. You're an adult; if you don't like it, couch surf or go to a shelter. Otherwise, use it as motivation for why you need to grow up. There is no reason why she should have to feel whatever it is that she feels when "dirty imagery" or whatever winds up in her home. It's her home and she's paying for it, and she has no obligation to care for her adult children. OP's parents are making huge sacrifices in their own lives to take care of their children; there is absolutely no reason why those children cannot make small sacrifices to keep the peace. I have two theories on this. The first is that the distribution of wealth is largely arbitrary. Hard work plays a part in your income, but so do luck, aptitude, inherited wealth, when you are born, and a good education. Ideally, in a society with as much abundance as the US, the OP's basic material needs would be taken care of as long as he was making an attempt at productive work. In the absence of such safety nets, I think it's a parent's duty to pick up that responsibility as much as possible. You can also look at it as an intergenerational bargain. The parent agrees to take care of the child until the child is self sufficient. The child takes care of the parent when the parent is no longer self sufficient.
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Jan 31, 2013 21:29
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Agro ver Haus doom posted:How much money do you spend a month on weed and comics? (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 31, 2013 21:34
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Shonagon posted:So, basically, Danny broke the truce by putting on what they consider unacceptable material right in front of them, and then threw a fit at your mother when she objected. Yeah I'm sure that the preview for the show said "Hey at this one part two chicks make out, just FYI!" He obviously didn't do it on purpose. With that said, he should have turned it off at her request because it's her house, and he's a big baby for arguing about it. Let's meet half way and agree that all of the people in this situation are stupid, okay?
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Jan 31, 2013 22:05
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Benny the Snake posted:Well people have been asking what industry am I trying to get into and what my internship responsibilities are.
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Jan 31, 2013 22:44
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Kind of surprised that the goon hivemind has come down on the side of a couple of overly religious bigots.
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Jan 31, 2013 22:50
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Gnack posted:Kind of surprised that the goon hivemind has come down on the side of a couple of overly religious bigots. If there's one thing goons hate more than religious bigots, it's their fellow goons.
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Jan 31, 2013 22:54
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Your entire family are broken terrible people, including you, but you're just a product of your environment and it's not too late. Try to be respectful of your violent hateful ignorant mom's insane rules and I guess just keep doing your best to get a job. I've never gotten a job from applying, they all come from knowing people. Do you have people you can network with? Even a friend who works a lovely job that could recommend you to their lovely manager? A relative in another town that could get you a lovely job and let you crash there for the first few weeks till you find your own lovely place? An ex teacher? A guy you sort of know on the internet in another state who could hook you up? Call everyone you know, everyone who could possibly hook you up or point you in a good direction. You need to get the gently caress away from your parents, it's a cliche but it's a real "toxic environment". And you can still make time for you self. Unemployed people can still have hobbies and have fun, getting a job isn't a video game where you just grind for X amount of time and a job appears. You can only do so much every day and you need joy in your life to make you not go insane. But at the same time, do what you can with your spare time to be productive. Do more chores around the house, do what you can to make the house run smoothly and take as much burden and stress off your parents as you can. It will help your work-ethic and it will make them a lot calmer, which will make your life better while you're there.
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Jan 31, 2013 23:07
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GidgetNomates posted:If there's one thing goons hate more than religious bigots, it's their fellow goons. Thing is, in this case the expectations of religious bigots are pretty similar to the expectations of anywhere else they could eat and sleep for free. You can't watch porn in the common room, and getting caught jacking it is frowned on. This is true at homeless shelters, and on your friends couch as well. It's tough, but you pretty much have to pay your own rent before you get to decide what is on the big TV or where you can masturbate. And you probably have to wash the dishes and take the trash out too. However, those things aren't really beyond the ability of even an average grown-rear end man.
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Jan 31, 2013 23:14
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I probably should've posted some details earlier. But anyway, everybody is going to have a meeting about this. Hopefully I'll be able to mantain our truce. But yeah, I'm gonna talk to one of my uncle on my mom's side of the family. They'd be a little more sympathetic. But I need to find a job in order to contribute anything. I'd love it if me and my siblings were to rent a place together, but none of us are employed. My little sister is brilliant. She's studing at a university to become an astro-physicist. She loves math and science and she's the smartest one in the family. I love her to bits. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Jan 31, 2013 |
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Jan 31, 2013 23:15
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I'm wondering how an Eng Lit BA. Has to do with office work, or Law? Where did you plan on working whilst you were taking all those courses? But really, how much. Do you spend on weed and comics in a month?
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Jan 31, 2013 23:19
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Darth123123 posted:I'm wondering how an Eng Lit BA. Has to do with office work, or Law? Where did you plan on working whilst you were taking all those courses? quote:But really, how much. Do you spend on weed and comics in a month?
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Jan 31, 2013 23:24
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Benny the Snake posted:I think that's irrelivant. If you think that's irrelevant then you've really learned nothing from this thread.
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Jan 31, 2013 23:31
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So why aren't you writing? How does the party work your doing leverage that? Or advance that? Write user manuals, gently caress write fanfic on the side. And it is directly relevant, unless you have big coin in the bank. Then if you do, move the gently caress out.
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Jan 31, 2013 23:32
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CountingCrows posted:If you think that's irrelevant then you've really learned nothing from this thread. Darth123123 posted:So why aren't you writing? How does the party work your doing leverage that? Or advance that? Write user manuals, gently caress write fanfic on the side. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 23:43 on Jan 31, 2013 |
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Jan 31, 2013 23:39
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Gnack posted:Kind of surprised that the goon hivemind has come down on the side of a couple of overly religious bigots. The parents opinions on gay marriage is the least important aspect of this entire situation.
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Jan 31, 2013 23:41
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Benny the Snake posted:I hang out at a bar where I've made friends and I'm getting an education on street smarts. Everything you post is bullshit, isn't it? God help your poor mommy.
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Jan 31, 2013 23:41
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Decrepus posted:Everything you post is bullshit, isn't it? God help your poor mommy.
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Jan 31, 2013 23:42
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ClemenSalad posted:The parents opinions on gay marriage is the least important aspect of this entire situation. Except that the whole situation kicked off because the mother couldn't handle catching a glance of some lesbians sinning against god or whatever the gently caress
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Jan 31, 2013 23:42
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OP you know what the real solution to your problems is, you must prostrate yourself before Jesus and beg for forgiveness for your sins
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Jan 31, 2013 23:46
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WickedIcon posted:OP you know what the real solution to your problems is, you must prostrate yourself before Jesus and beg for forgiveness for your sins
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Jan 31, 2013 23:48
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You and your brother both need to take your asses to the Department of Labor/Unemployment office. They will be able to help you leverage your skills into jobs that you might not have considered before. You should also go to any United Way agencies like GoodWill as they have job resources as well. Both places will provide free resume help and even interview clothes if necessary. Also how long ago did you finish school? Call up the school you attended and see if any alumni are offering jobs. Where are your friends from school? Where do they work? Are there openings?
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Feb 1, 2013 00:02
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Gnack posted:Except that the whole situation kicked off because the mother couldn't handle catching a glance of some lesbians sinning against god or whatever the gently caress But thats not the point. Their mom could really loving hate the actor or Chicago or fire and she'd still be right. It doesn't matter at all. The fact that you think the specific topic of the conflict was the important part shows you missed the point.
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Feb 1, 2013 00:08
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Benny the Snake posted:Don't you think I'm aware of this? You think I would be doing this unpaid political internship without pay while searching for a job if I wasn't aware how bad my situation is? Contributing by not abusing your parents credit cards is like saying you're doing your part by not beating her. You don't brownie points by saying you don't do terrible things, therefor you're in the clear. That's the basic standard of human decency (not loving over or harming people you love). You still haven't answered how much you help your mother out by the way. How many chores do you do a day around the house? Do you have hobbies or interests outside of doing your internship, hanging out at the bar, collecting comics and watching porn? Does your mother do all the cooking and cleaning on top of giving you a place to stay?
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Feb 1, 2013 00:10
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