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Lost 3 jobs in 6 months? Better run to the newest Matt Damon flick, the world is surely lacking reviews of this new film. http://thereptilereviewer.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/elysium-review/ Dr. Lariat fucked around with this message at 16:16 on Aug 12, 2013 |
# ? Aug 12, 2013 16:02 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 06:35 |
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Benny, I would legit read your film reviews if you just stuck to movies on this list.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 16:12 |
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Benny the Snake posted:So in any case; no I don't enjoy erotic anime comics. And I was attempting parallelism in that one line with the semi-colons because I swear that's how you do it. Maybe you should try speaking like a normal person instead of trying and failing to show off.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 17:32 |
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Benny the Snake posted:So in any case; no I don't enjoy erotic anime comics. And I was attempting parallelism in that one line with the semi-colons because I swear that's how you do it. Benny, that isn't how you do it. You really need to learn the basic mechanics of writing formal business English. Do you have a copy of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation? I think it could help you.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 17:59 |
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Dr. Lariat posted:Lost 3 jobs in 6 months? Better run to the newest Matt Damon flick, the world is surely lacking reviews of this new film. Here you go, Benny; I had a half hour to kill and edited one of your blog posts. It's still something of a structural mess, as you often don't answer the question of "why" something is important when you write (check the highlighted comments), but here's a good start at seeing where your writing can stand to be improved. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zu2l_qbyBEwvmMp85iYyvnaef7jNrxwpfipEzKG2uhs/edit?usp=sharing
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 18:00 |
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Ugh, semi-colons! Benny, read this illustrative article about semi-colon usage! Accretionist fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Aug 12, 2013 |
# ? Aug 12, 2013 18:02 |
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Dr. Lariat posted:Lost 3 jobs in 6 months? Better run to the newest Matt Damon flick, the world is surely lacking reviews of this new film. It's kind of silly to mock someone for engaging in their passion (and long-term career goal), even if they're still in desperate need of a job. Writing is perhaps the #2 thing he should be doing right now, but it's still a thing he should be doing. In fact he should probably be doing a ton more of it whenever he's not job-hunting, and getting constructive critiques here is probably beneficial, no matter how insultingly they're framed.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 18:36 |
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Alright, it all makes sense, now. Benny made a cover letter and resume for the police station job. He then went around handing out the same resume, to each potential employer, be it office job, editing, line chef, Hollister model, etc. Benny, you worked for a senatorial campaign. Benny the Snake posted:My administrative experience was with the (insert politician here) for State Senate Campaign. I served in a fellowship position where my duties included data entry, voter outreach, and intern leadership. This is the best part of your cover letter. This should be extended to roughly 5 sentences. Toss in some bullshit, without going overboard. That's politics. Here's the deal. I know you live in Cali and that your candidate lost. I have a pretty good idea of which campaign you were on. I come from a campaign background. I have extremely similar experience, except I was hired to do work for the candidate's website. I'd kill to exchange email addresses with you, provided you were smart enough to sign up for your campaign directory mailing list. I have the email addresses of people who don't usually toss around their information. I'm not trying to sound like top, shitstain, king rear end in a top hat of importantpeopleville. I just know for a fact that when you work for a campaign, have a campaign email address and sign up for the campaign mailing list once your email address is terminated, you get a bunch of mass-chain emails from (ex)politicians who neglected to use a "do not reply" address. Did you sign up? Have you gotten any? If you did, you know the type... Not a solicitation posted:Hello Everyone, All drat day. Just mad emails that make you think "holy poo poo, that's his actual email address? I could post that poo poo on SA and let the goons blast his inbox all day. Moral of the story: Unless you hosed up big time and didn't get on that mailing list, you have tons of email addresses from tons of solicitation emails and invitations to banquets, parties, fundraisers, galas, etc. Write a goddamn cover letter based around your campaign staff work. GET THE gently caress TO WORK AND POST A COVER LETTER FOR CAMPAIGN STAFFING JOBS! You could slink into any one of those fundraisers, meet people, have a few drinks and make contacts. I know this kid has a goldmine of contacts that any inexperienced rear end in a top hat would kill for. Use them and find yourself a job for an upper-class money begging organization. If you leave me your email address, I'll send you a list of people I have email access to. If you like what you see, you can reply with who you have access to, and I'll see if I'm down to trade. I'll give you this, mine are way more high-profile than yours. I have no use for them, because I'd rather work for a much smaller scale campaign, but I guarantee you'd want them. Again, no personal information necessary. There's no way in hell I'd tell you my name so you could namedrop (not that they'd even know who I am) and I don't expect you to do so either. PS: This isn't against any rules and I guarantee it's not against the contract you were under during the campaign. It's just regular, non-confidential information. Just two people trading professional contacts. (Honestly, I could give a poo poo less if some congressman I used to remotely work for gets a misspelled, misstyped and misfucked email from Benny the Snake. Not like it's gonna get traced back to me.) cname fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Aug 12, 2013 |
# ? Aug 12, 2013 18:49 |
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We're at the "Goon throws down a set of schematics and parts for a jetpack" stage of the goon in the well, aren't we? I really think he's a troll, guys. Seeing his Dr. Seuss effortposts in the D&D political cartoon thread cemented it. Go back and read his OP, he hits soooo many goon E/N hotspots. Religious, unreasonable parents, comic collection, etc. Benny, how is that comic collection? You mentioned it has some monetary value, about how much? Did your mom throw it out yet? E: VVV No, they're well done and put together well. If Benny can handle that, I think he can handle pushing shopping carts. I also find it weird he was straight up fired, no written warning, no nothing, for hitting a customer's car one time. E2: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3525444&pagenumber=802&perpage=40#post417374554 WampaLord fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Aug 12, 2013 |
# ? Aug 12, 2013 19:23 |
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WampaLord posted:I really think he's a troll, guys. Seeing his Dr. Seuss effortposts in the D&D political cartoon thread cemented it.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 19:32 |
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Accretionist posted:What about them? Are they terrible? Having just read them (well, one of them, anyway), I'd say they're inconsistent with this thread in how not-terrible they are. Sir John Falstaff fucked around with this message at 19:59 on Aug 12, 2013 |
# ? Aug 12, 2013 19:55 |
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Benny the Snake posted:So in any case; no I don't enjoy erotic anime comics. And I was attempting parallelism in that one line with the semi-colons because I swear that's how you do it. Benny as someone who tutors in English grammar and has dealt with both parallelism and semi colons allow me to reassure you that that was not parallelism. That was just plain wrong. Not even "wrong but a stylistic choice" like when skilled authors use sentence fragments for emphasis, but wrong. I am not trying to be mean in saying this. I just need you to understand that you need to fix that, stat.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 20:55 |
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WampaLord posted:We're at the "Goon throws down a set of schematics and parts for a jetpack" stage of the goon in the well, aren't we? Haha, well if this is a troll, it's been masterful. Benny's put more effort in this thread than anyone else (posting all these writing samples, his schedule etc.), and usually trolls try to put in as little as possible to get the most reaction. I think the weird gaps in the story are just omissions that Benny either forgot to include or was too embarrassed to include. Occam's Razor, man. (though if this does turn out to be a troll, I will be the first to start the slow clap)
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 20:58 |
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Benny, prove that you're not a troll. Post a picture of a Target pay stub (with everything personal blanked out) sitting on top of 100+ comic books.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 21:07 |
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WampaLord posted:We're at the "Goon throws down a set of schematics and parts for a jetpack" stage of the goon in the well, aren't we? I own the "Dr Suess goes to war" book that all of these are pulled from. He basically either scanned the comics or pulled them off of a web page and posted them chronologically. How does this imply some sort of competance?
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 21:29 |
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ThatCguy posted:I own the "Dr Suess goes to war" book that all of these are pulled from. He basically either scanned the comics or pulled them off of a web page and posted them chronologically. How does this imply some sort of competance? It's more the posting that goes along with it. Benny correctly reads the political motivation and context behind each cartoon. He expresses his points clearly and with a bit of wit and humor. In short, the complete opposite of every "writing sample" or review that he's churned out for the thread. Basically, if he's capable of that kind of quality posting, I have a hard time believing he's as incompetent as he claims. E: Look at this sentence: "Vladivostok is a Russian port city off the Pacific which became a major military base for Russia during the war. It's located off the Pacific, so we can infer that Hitler was encouraging Japan to aid him in his Russian invasion by squeezing them from the east." Can you picture ThreadBenny actually taking the time to research and type that out?
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 21:49 |
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WampaLord posted:It's more the posting that goes along with it. Benny correctly reads the political motivation and context behind each cartoon. He expresses his points clearly and with a bit of wit and humor. In short, the complete opposite of every "writing sample" or review that he's churned out for the thread. Yes, because it's off the Pacific.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 21:53 |
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That's common knowledge dressed up as a flimsy inference.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 22:16 |
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He wrote two sentences and repeated the same fact in each of them. It should read something like: "Vladivostok is a Russian port city off the Pacific which became a major military base for Russia during the war. Using its geographic location, we can infer that Hitler was encouraging Japan to aid him in his Russian invasion by squeezing them from the east."
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 22:17 |
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Fugue Stater posted:It's kind of silly to mock someone for engaging in their passion (and long-term career goal), even if they're still in desperate need of a job. Writing is perhaps the #2 thing he should be doing right now, but it's still a thing he should be doing. In fact he should probably be doing a ton more of it whenever he's not job-hunting, and getting constructive critiques here is probably beneficial, no matter how insultingly they're framed. A person who loves to write can write about anything, it doesn't have to be another review of the weekends #1 box office smash. A number of things Benny could write about that don't cost money, his time at target, his experiences posting this thread, his day packing boxes in a warehouse, a park he walked past, looking for work in this economy, I can come up with subjects a person could write about that do not require an admission fee all day. You seem to have forgotten why this thread exists, it's not here to nurture Benny's writing skills, this thread was posted because Benny's mom is an abusive crazy person and he wanted out (except not really because its been half a year and were still on step 1.)
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 22:22 |
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Yeah, I'm fascinated by retail stories for some reason. I would absolutely read Benny's short story about Target.
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# ? Aug 12, 2013 23:11 |
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Wouldn't posting about my Target experiences be a faux paus? Or is that only for the A/T threads? Anyway, I've gotten myself forbearances on my immediate loan payments: one for three months and the other for six. So I've got untill December, more or less, until I have to start paying them off. On top of that I'm moving ahead with sending out cover letters and resumes. Here's another sample: quote:Dear Sir or Madam, EDIT: in hindsight, I'd rather not get into too much detail. I don't want to give you guys more ammo. I was one of the founding members of a club on campus and served as publicist for a year. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 02:37 on Aug 13, 2013 |
# ? Aug 13, 2013 02:35 |
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Your campaign experience ISN'T on your résumé because you don't have a letter?! Is that what you're saying?
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 03:02 |
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Benny the Snake posted:I've cut out Starbucks out of my budget so for the past few weeks since being let go I've been posting from my local library where there's a signal free from any firewall so I can post here. Benny, is SA blocked on your home Internet? Is there more to this story than what you are telling us? In my view this thread has moved so far beyond the pissing in the well stage it's absurd. I don't know what you want from us or why this thread continues to exist when it is clear that it exists for one of 2 reasons. 1-You're full of poo poo and this is all a put on. 2-You got mad at your mom for threatening to throw away your stuff and posted this thread as a way to vent and get some strangers to back you up without any intentions of ever moving out or making any life changes. Either way you are wasting our precious web browsing time. I could have been looking at porn. Dr. Lariat fucked around with this message at 04:45 on Aug 13, 2013 |
# ? Aug 13, 2013 03:11 |
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That cover letter is way better, but there's still something weird about referring to your accreditation as a typist. Am I the only one who thinks so? Also, regardless of whether or not you have the reference letter, you should put your campaign experience on your résumé.
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 04:24 |
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Benny the Snake posted:I've cut out Starbucks out of my budget so for the past few weeks since being let go I've been posting from my local library where there's a signal free from any firewall so I can post here. The gently caress were you doing buying $5 coffees and poo poo baked goods at inflated prices for when you're supposed to be saving for your car/moving out/whatever the gently caress? What is wrong with you?
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 05:18 |
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Horrible Smutbeast posted:The gently caress were you doing buying $5 coffees and poo poo baked goods at inflated prices for when you're supposed to be saving for your car/moving out/whatever the gently caress?
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 05:35 |
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Did you consider participating in Thunderdome? Flash fiction's fun. Also, they'll set you straight on semi-colons.
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 05:44 |
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Horrible Smutbeast posted:The gently caress were you doing buying $5 coffees and poo poo baked goods at inflated prices for when you're supposed to be saving for your car/moving out/whatever the gently caress? Benny says it was to use the internet, for some reason his home internet doesn't display the good job openings. Real answer is Benny ain't gonna be moving out anytime soon, we all know this. Despite minor familial conflicts its pretty cushy so why change anything? E: We can distract ourselves with CV's and thunderdomes and blogs and writing samples for another 6 months but until Benny decides to take an honest and objective look at his current situation and where he wishes to see himself in 1,2,5 years we will spin our wheels endlessly here. This whole thread reminds me of attempting to get an addict to give up drugs. Until the addict decides it is time go clean expect nothing more than an endless parade of excuses and misdirection. Dr. Lariat fucked around with this message at 07:12 on Aug 13, 2013 |
# ? Aug 13, 2013 06:45 |
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Eris posted:Your campaign experience ISN'T on your résumé because you don't have a letter?! Please clarify this, Benny. Your post about this didn't make much sense, but if this is the case, it doesn't make any sense in a totally different way. You don't have to have letters from bosses in order to list a job on your resume. Edit: Also, out of fairness, the most recent cover letter is perfectly serviceable, so good job on that. cucurbit fucked around with this message at 16:53 on Aug 13, 2013 |
# ? Aug 13, 2013 13:32 |
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lexan posted:That cover letter is way better, but there's still something weird about referring to your accreditation as a typist. Am I the only one who thinks so? Maybe it's a little odd to some. But I work in higher ed; and we basically can't make any claim at all without being asked for the data to back it up. I can say 'yeah uh I have a plan for alumni engagement in student outcomes' or something, but if I don't have measurable goals, and a plan to collect the data to prove it, then I have zilch! So if I saw a resume with an accreditation on it I'd be like, cool, someone with something to back up what he's claiming here. Uncle Salty fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Aug 13, 2013 |
# ? Aug 13, 2013 16:22 |
It's not an excuse, but let's please also not forget while we're dogpiling that Benny has been diagnosed with a serious mental illness, one which can have strong cognitive impacts. It may well be that he used to be a stronger writer-- or that his illness prevents him from seeing what his abilities are right now as opposed to what they used to be. That said-- Benny, with time and medication and therapy, you will improve. It will get easier. I know everything seems harder than it should be right now. Do you have something constructive you can do that you enjoy? Something that you do for you, not to make a buck or impress other people? Looking for work is very important, but so is doing something you love just because you love it. Think of it as periodically refilling your brain's tank of happy chemicals, which right now are severely depleted and out of whack.
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 21:33 |
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You can do it, Benny! And yeah, definitely pick up a hobby that's just for you. I've had monster depression for years and a few other issues. Knitting makes me feel a bit better because I'm making things and it keeps my hands busy.
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 21:41 |
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Benny knit me a sweater. Well start with a pot holder like at camp. Benny, just get/hold a job. Any job. Have you contacted anyone new?
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 22:02 |
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cucurbit posted:Please clarify this, Benny. Your post about this didn't make much sense, but if this is the case, it doesn't make any sense in a totally different way. You don't have to have letters from bosses in order to list a job on your resume.
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 23:47 |
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Well that's retarded. For a while I forgot to even put that I had indeed graduated from university. I was freelancing and still getting mad gigs, hadn't even noticed I had bumped it out for more content until an interviewer had to ask, "you did graduate from college...right?" And when I put it back on no one ever vetted me. Sure I got some standard interview questions due to my particular fusion of disciplines, but yeah, you'll never be required to prove anything. Lie you loving moron, lie.
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# ? Aug 13, 2013 23:57 |
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Benny the Snake posted:Well I gave my resume to Resumes to Interviews and when I explained I didn't have the letter they decided to put on my club publicist position under volunteer work. That doesn't make any sense. I mean, neither the sentence you wrote just now nor the decision not to put your campaign work as a job. If you were doing at least 20 hours a week of specific assigned tasks with some independent decision-making authority, that was a job, even though it didn't pay. "Volunteer work" on a resume is, in my opinion, a category better used for extremely part-time things like Big Brothers/Big Sisters or working on the once-a-month park cleanup.
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# ? Aug 14, 2013 00:20 |
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Do you have pay stubs? A w2? If so - you worked. A silly letter that they give to literally everyone, and isn't customized isn't worth ... anything. Think critically Benny.
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# ? Aug 14, 2013 00:25 |
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Eris posted:Do you have pay stubs? A w2? If so - you worked. A silly letter that they give to literally everyone, and isn't customized isn't worth ... anything. Well, it was an unpaid internship, so he probably doesn't have that. But yeah, don't worry about having that letter Benny.
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# ? Aug 14, 2013 00:40 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 06:35 |
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gently caress da Mods posted:Well that's retarded. For a while I forgot to even put that I had indeed graduated from university. I was freelancing and still getting mad gigs, hadn't even noticed I had bumped it out for more content until an interviewer had to ask, "you did graduate from college...right?" And when I put it back on no one ever vetted me. Sure I got some standard interview questions due to my particular fusion of disciplines, but yeah, you'll never be required to prove anything. Lie you loving moron, lie. I've worked many jobs where people lied about graduating high school and a few who lied about college as well. I'm not sure anyone short of law enforcement and the military even check that poo poo anymore.
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# ? Aug 14, 2013 00:54 |