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razorrozar posted:Pretty sure this is the case, a few of the posters Benny wasn't able to respond to due to the huge backlog assumed that "getting violent" meant simply continuing to try to take Danny's phone. ...Which is why he should be using his savings to get out. After he gets a solid job offer he can get some roommates from Craigslist or with friends or something or even with his brother within a couple months.
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Feb 2, 2013 06:26
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SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:What I have had a hard time understanding in this thread is a lack of focus on what I've bolded. But maybe most people didn't assume this is the kind of violent OP was referring to when he originally said 'things got violent'? Maybe people are focusing on the other parts because Danny owes his own mother 1k+ in credit card bills, takes advantage of her for letting him stay at home rent free, acts like a complete poo poo and tells her to gently caress off and all that sort of stuff? readingatwork posted:I have no idea why people are ripping on you and your brother so much. Yeah, he's kind of dumb for escalating the situation like that but I can't see anything that you or your brother did/are doing wrong. Your mom sounds like a complete psycho-bitch and you would have been completely within your rights if you actually HAD called the cops on her rear end. Taking advantage of your parents isn't wrong. Putting your parents into debt over frivolous poo poo while they're struggling to support both themselves and you isn't wrong. Telling your mother to go gently caress herself and escalating the situation isn't wrong. The second she hits him though holy poo poo call the cops psycho bitch !!!!! Let me guess, she asked for his phone because she pays for it and is tired of his poo poo. Everyone in this situation are terrible children and nobody is coming out looking good.
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Feb 2, 2013 06:42
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Get a part time job, save up a bit of cash, purchase very small storage unit. Place things you consider of value that may be confiscated into said storage unit. Then, finish your loving degree, find full time work ASAP, and move out of the loony bin and never look back.
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Feb 2, 2013 06:52
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Horrible Smutbeast posted:Maybe people are focusing on the other parts because Danny owes his own mother 1k+ in credit card bills, takes advantage of her for letting him stay at home rent free, acts like a complete poo poo and tells her to gently caress off and all that sort of stuff? Dude. Are you seriously saying his mother should be allowed to loving hit him because of all of that? Would you hit your kid over something like this, even if all of that was true? It's your loving kid and you're supposed to love them enough to not endanger them.
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Feb 2, 2013 06:52
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ClemenSalad posted:He's just being a sarcastic rear end in a top hat thinking he's owning me or others in this thread. I find it to be an incredibly simple and easy to understand concept, if there were 5 apples and 6 people, at least one person is not going to have a whole apple. I am honestly confused as to how anyone with any basic knowledge in arithmetic could have trouble understanding this. Perhaps you could elaborate for me because you seem to be one such person who believe everyone could succeed if they tried hard enough despite there literally not being enough success to go around from a mathematical standpoint.
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Feb 2, 2013 07:03
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ArbitraryC posted:Well, tell me what word in the following sentence confuses you. "Not every unemployed person can get a job because there are simply less jobs than there are unemployed people." Because that's not what an unemployment rate usually signifies, especially in a first world country. You have a child's understanding of it. Basically you believe that because X number of people are without jobs, that MUST mean there are Y-X jobs available, that isn't true at all. I guess I'll explain a bit more. Unemployment rates in a country like the US is mainly an indicator of distribution. A fantastic studied example of this is history majors. That major has become overwhelmingly popular in the last 40 years and we have more majors of that now (as a %) than most societies in human history. As an aside, many of these people have little interest in history which contributes to the issue. Now in the 70's-90's, these people often got basic office jobs in rapidly growing corporations. When the recession hit and as these jobs became more technical, the companies needed to cut back or hire people with a more relevant skillset. Now this is a problem for those history majors. They need to lower their expectations and consider other job opportunities other than an easy office job. This is a frustrating thing for people who realize their investment isn't going how they expected (regardless of what indications there were), understandably so. So many of them don't look for those types of jobs. That's just one tangible example but the point is the "6 people 5 apples" isn't the case at all and isn't what an unemployment rate means in the US. Edit: Also please don't get hung up on lib arts majors or anything. This holds true for literally any profession in that situation, insert whatever ideologically acceptable skillset you wish. ClemenSalad fucked around with this message at 07:51 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 07:28
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What could Danny have possibly done to wrack up $1,000 in credit card debt that you are ashamed of admitting to, when you have so much else you're free to talk about? Why do you think that this unpaid internship is going to be useful in the real world? Are you learning any skills? What sort of connections do you really think you're making, and why haven't you put them to use yet to find a job? It's not like the connections and experience fairy puts them in a box for you when you finish the internship. Things will get better and you will fix your broken-ness given time and effort (and it will take both, not just one or the other - a moment of hard effort or a year of timid time won't get you there), but you sound like you're waving your arms about an awful lot but still not treading water. You might need to reflect on why that may be - maybe if your resume is so killer as you say it is, you're presenting yourself poorly elsewhere. Maybe you're using your killer "gonna do great things" resume to apply for part time temp work that doesn't hire kids who leave in 3 months. Maybe you're not leaning on your connections and network to find a job. With all the people you come in contact with through your SWEET INTERNSHIP, how many of them have you asked about jobs they're aware of for you or your brother?
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Feb 2, 2013 07:36
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ClemenSalad posted:Because that's not what an unemployment rate usually signifies, especially in a first world country. You have a child's understanding of it. Department of labor straight up says that for every 1 job opening there is >1 unemployed person. This means that if the maximum number of unemployed people got jobs, you'd hit a point where there were 0 job openings but >0 unemployed people. What part of this is confusing? At what point are you willing to acknowledge that those >0 people who want jobs but for which there are 0 jobs available might not be at fault for not having a job? If you want to make a general point about whether or not our country is utilizing all of it's potential labor I'd agree with you that we're falling short. But that's pretty much strictly because "job creators" want there to be a shortage of available jobs because that drives wages to an absolute minimum as any rational person is going to accept being underpaid over being homeless and starving. There is an inherent conflict of interest between having everyone employed and successful and having an upper class that leaches off the surplus labor of those willing to work for less than they're worth. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9Whccunka4 ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 08:08 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 07:42
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ArbitraryC posted:http://www.bls.gov/web/jolts/jlt_labstatgraphs.pdf I added an edit in my above post to explain a bit more but if that's how you interpret that stat then I don't think there's really a way for us to come to an understanding. Your conclusion about what the OP should do about that stat doesn't follow at all either. E/N probably isn't the place for it in any case.
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Feb 2, 2013 07:47
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ArbitraryC posted:http://www.bls.gov/web/jolts/jlt_labstatgraphs.pdf That's a huge oversimplification. That's all jobs. Not entry level, not bluecollar, not part-time and temp - all. There may be hundreds of job openings in certain industries, but there are a thousand people like me who don't have work experience because they can't find a job, and they can't find a job because they don't have experience. There are far more people who can only work a minimum wage or manual labor job than there are jobs of those types. mid-edit: I completely forgot which sign was which.  I am agreeing with you.e: vv I'm in about the same position as the OP, maybe a little worse off, qualifications-wise. I've been working my rear end off trying to get a minimum wage job for eight months. I'm still unemployed. Try to get a minimum wage job and then tell me it isn't hard to get one. razorrozar fucked around with this message at 08:14 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 07:49
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It's actually pretty easy to get a part time job, sure it may be a crappy place like a fast food restaurant, but it's not that hard. Especially because someone in the position that the OP seems to be in, those 10-15 hour a week crappy jobs aren't very hard to get for a college student. Back on topic thought; OP could also take said items to a trustworthy friend's place until you can figure something else out. I can't imagine you see yourself in this type of setting for much longer, and it doesn't sound like you will be in school much longer. I know it sucks but it is their house so they can act crazy like that, all you can do is situate yourself to move out as soon as you can. T Bowl fucked around with this message at 07:56 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 07:52
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OP, this is a post not filled with unwarranted vitriol I'm sure my last post got lost among the arguments over slavery (wtf goons holy poo poo), but have you ever thought about Americorps? You have good volunteering experience. They pay you, feed you, house you for 10 months. Plus it looks bitchin' on a résumé. Check it out, for real. Also good luck. I have no idea why goons went absolutely apeshit, probably because they miss having a whipping boy like Manchild King around.
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Feb 2, 2013 07:53
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Starter Wiggin posted:OP, this is a post not filled with unwarranted vitriol Not entirely, I commented on this myself. OP, if you can do this it's a really good idea. Try to get Danny into it too.
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Feb 2, 2013 08:00
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I'm starting to think the issues with finding work is a symptom of a much bigger problem. Also, Americorps is a great idea, Starter Wiggin!Horrible Smutbeast posted:Maybe people are focusing on the other parts because Danny owes his own mother 1k+ in credit card bills, takes advantage of her for letting him stay at home rent free, acts like a complete poo poo and tells her to gently caress off and all that sort of stuff? That's Danny. OP isn't responsible for Danny's debt nor Danny's behavior. As far as 'no one is coming out looking good,' the OP has in response to criticism in this thread acknowledged some of his misguided concerns and missteps. Based on the story of calling the police as a child when his mother struck his father and the recent striking of Danny, I'm going to assume (and Benny, correct me on any part of this if I'm wrong - edit, Benny has, see his post below) these are not isolated incidents. I'm going to further assume most 22 year olds growing up in an environment so far presented to us is not going to be well-educated in escaping an abusive home, or even in a mental/emotional place to do so. What the hell, I'm going to armchair psychology and put forth the reason why Benny's OP focused on media and possessions like comics is because that's one of the very few things left in his control, and now mother is threatening to take that away, too. Funny how mother got very upset about witnessing a sin, but segued that into complaining about the money Danny owes her - a possession - as opposed to 'I'm upset my youngest child is consuming this sinful media and am concerned for his immortal soul/relationship with Christ.' Is owing money a legitimate concern? Absolutely, but not to the point of hitting, and not to the point of taking away a primary means of communication, which is something abusers do to control their victims. I don't care if mother pays for that phone, in that situation, in that moment, she was attempting to cut Danny off from outside communication to maintain control. T Fowl posted:Get a part time job, save up a bit of cash, purchase very small storage unit. Place things you consider of value that may be confiscated into said storage unit. This is what Benny is responsible for. Benny, even if you feel broken right now, I believe you won't be that way forever. Also, I was raised to feel ashamed airing out 'dirty laundry' in my family when in reality these were things like emotional, mental, and verbal abuse that needed to be shared with trusted friends and therapists so I could grow mentally and emotionally and move on with my life as a healthier, happier person. You're under no obligation to share anything else with strangers on the Internet, but find a trusted someone to speak openly to. Edit: GAH, you've graduated so I'm unsure if there are consulting-related resources for alumni, but it never hurts to ask. SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 08:03
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ClemenSalad posted:I added an edit in my above post to explain a bit more but if that's how you interpret that stat then I don't think there's really a way for us to come to an understanding. Your conclusion about what the OP should do about that stat doesn't follow at all either. E/N probably isn't the place for it in any case. e: vvv I'm willing to admit that the statistics could potentially be deceiving and there are plenty of famous quotes on this very concept. However, unless you link an academic source that provides an in depth review on how the problem is that people are choosing the wrong major, it's simply baseless speculation on your part. What is real is that there are less jobs available in america than there are people looking for jobs and I've already linked to a concrete government source that says just that. ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 08:11 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 08:07
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ArbitraryC posted:You haven't made any tangible rebuttal, you've shared your personal thoughts with no statistics or sources to back them up and I have no reason to refute them because they're as misguided as they are baseless. Those aren't my personal thoughts. You posted a source with a very obvious non understanding of what they signified.
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Feb 2, 2013 08:09
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ClemenSalad posted:Those aren't my personal thoughts. You posted a source with a very obvious non understanding of what they signified. So where's your academic sources? Put up or shut up.
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Feb 2, 2013 08:15
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Regardless of whether or not the statistics say there are millions of jobs waiting out there, that doesn't mean that the OP is qualified for all of them, nor does it mean that he's at fault for not realizing all the resources he has to get a job. He said that he was working with his univerisity's career office on this; for a recent college grad, that might be the only sort of job agency they know about(OP mentioned he worked with a few other agencies, but they were mostly for warehouse work, which his dad warned him away from). And I hate to break it to you, but school career offices aren't always the best. You can whine about him being a stupid entitled little lovely manbaby* all you want, but if he's never had to look for a job before, he's not going to know as much about the job search process as you do. *He seems to be listening to the posts here and responding in a reasonable manner, so I'm honestly not getting where all the "  grow up, you loving child" reactions are coming from.I'm 23, which is pretty close to his age, and I've gone through the "trying to get a job after college" thing in this day and age. If your parents/college aren't helping you to find all the job resources out there, it can be frustrating trying to do it on your own - you get a lot of lovely Monster-esque sites, outdated listings, scam listings, part time jobs(which would be better than nothing for OP's situation, since it's easier to get hired if you already have a job, but you can't move out and live on your own with just a part-time job), and other similarly useless crap. Having an idea of specific companies you want to work at helps(it's how I managed to get my job), as does attending job fairs, but a lot of resources aren't brought up unless you already know where to look for them. T Fowl posted:It's actually pretty easy to get a part time job, sure it may be a crappy place like a fast food restaurant, but it's not that hard.  Please, tell me about how it's so easy to get a part-time job in this economy, especially when most places would rather take the current college/high school student who's going to be working there for a couple years than the recent grad(you seem to assume he's still in college, but he's not) who's going to bail as soon as a real job comes along. Or maybe you're remembering an earlier time, when you had to look for a similar job, when the economy wasn't as lovely as it is now. Unemployment rates for new grads are ridiculous, and it's not because we're all lazy bums(hell, those rates aren't even including the people who took lovely underemployment, like retail and Starbucks, that they can barely live off of).Finally:  OP, read this thread and this thread. The first is targeted to people in your situation, and the second is goons posting job openings for other goons.
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Feb 2, 2013 08:30
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Grandpas a Racist posted:Wrong. Didn't go to Men's Warehouse, now I can't guarantee that you will like the way you look. Oh, I know. But I'm too petite for the stuff at Men's Warehouse.  It's such a bummer. I don't even mind wearing men's suits, though my shoulders are kind of slim for it.
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Feb 2, 2013 10:26
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I'm disappointed - I came here expecting a family of hoarders watching a show about hoarders, when suddenly Mum has a moment of clarity and starts throwing garbage out, while the rest of the family tries to save the garbage - it would've been fun. This is just a story about mental garbage that parents sometimes have.
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Feb 2, 2013 11:05
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ArbitraryC posted:So where's your academic sources? Put up or shut up.
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Feb 2, 2013 13:49
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ClemenSalad posted:Those aren't my personal thoughts. You posted a source with a very obvious non understanding of what they signified. You have no evidence to back up your opinion that ArbitraryC is wrong. You haven't even really explained what you think they signify and how they differ from him. But here, look at this (I know it's a couple years old):  or this (a bit more recent, and more in depth analysis) http://www.heldrich.rutgers.edu/sites/default/files/content/Work_Trends_May_2011.pdf or this http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/27/one-in-two-new-college-graduates-i-jobless-or-underemployed/ These trends all speak of a "buyer's market", which indicate lower supply and higher demand of jobs. I'm not even sure why everyone's freaking about him not finding a job yet. It's not like he's been on the market for over a year. He graduated last fall. edit Making connections is important - a large number of jobs are essentially hiring by word of mouth only. And I assume you would know whether or not you're making the connections you need. But check out LinkedIn as well, there's a recent new thread on it here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3531540. Rurutia fucked around with this message at 14:41 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 14:34
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ArbitraryC posted:Well, tell me what word in the following sentence confuses you. "Not every unemployed person can get a job because there are simply less jobs than there are unemployed people." It get's even better when you realize that at least one of those six people probably got an apple because his dad goes to the same country club as the guy giving out the apples. Not to mention the fact that if the guy giving out apples just doesn't like [insert minority here] then you may just be poo poo out of luck regardless. Also, thanks Starter Wiggin for suggesting Americorps. That's an awesome idea that I may take for myself. 
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Feb 2, 2013 17:55
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I think people riding OP about his job situation are unfair, he's clearly making a genuine and sustained effort. However Benny you need to look at things from your mom's POV, she's busting her rear end with a job and education and seeing very little obvious appreciation in return. You might not agree with her crazy magic thinking but it's real to her and you and your brother need to recognize this. Keeping your entertainment family friendly around her is really a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. When you watch stuff that you know will piss her off in her face it's not only uncomfortable for your mom but you're also saying "I don't give a poo poo about your opinions". I also didn't see you address chores, if you are honestly not pulling your weight around the house that really needs to chance right now until you're contributing financially. Again your situation sucks and I see you're trying to change it but making accommodations will make things suck less and everyone happier.
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Feb 2, 2013 19:48
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Okay guys. This is going to be a megapost where I try to be as concises as possible. I'm going to answer a few questions, give out a bit more information, and ask a very importaint question. Thanks guys for being understanding. -I haven't asked anybody in my political internship for job positions. I've just started and I only know a handful of people: the fundraiser, the field manager, the candidate, the PR handler, and another intern. This is a special election and we're in the primary mode. I talked to Jon, the feild manager, and he told me we're going to fly under the radar untill the primaries are over and we know wether we're going to see the big show. I'm waiting untill more people come in and/or I actually have put in enough time and expirence to where I show that I'm a hard worker. If you guys think it's best, I'll start networking and asking for jobs right now. -I don't want to get into too much detail but among other things, Danny's credit card bills include a brand new ipod and a suit to go to the homecomming dance. Some of these charges were made a long time ago and he still makes purchases on the card for stuff on Amazon. He's getting financial aid too, but it looks like he's dodging the question of wether he has money when Mom brings up that he needs to make a payment. We were all given cards under her account for school purchases. I make sure above all else to pay her in full for any purchases I make for school. -Back when Danny had a part-time job, he bought a used car. Don't know how much he paid, but he did it before he got insurance or even a liscence. He planed to work towards both and get the car first. Well, he was let go from his job. One of the windows of the car was shattered buy a random punk. It's been a money sink, and Mom wants it sold as soon as possible so he can pay back his debt. Don't know if it's been sold or not, but as far as I'm concerened it's still sitting in a lot. This is to give you an idea about what kind of person Danny is. -I've graduated. I'm expecting my diploma soon: a BA in English Literature with a Minor in History. I love reading, intepreting, and discussing stories, so that's why I got into English Lit. You can study what you love, or what makes money. And it's rare that you can do both. -As far as violent incidents, outside of the first time I called the police when my mom assaulted Dad, they're haven't been any incidents betwen us (me and my siblings) and them (my parents) untill now. Me and my brother have gotten into fights before, including one time he almost broke my nose. Mom has made it clear that next time it happens, she's calling the police. -Along with making monthly payments for the phone and groceries, I'm also doing regular chores. Vacuming the rooms, sweeping, taking out the trash, cleaining the restroom, moving things around, organizing the garage, washing and putting away dishes, helping preparing dinner etc. I'm pulling my own weight as far as what's expected of me as a resident. -If it sounds like I'm being unreasonable and paranoid, it's because I was raised to belive the apocalypse is nigh. Every time something bad happened in the world, Dad would quote Revelations and say how the false church and the antichrist were to take over the world and subject the true belivers to all kinds of misery untill Jesus comes down to rescue us all and have the sinners burn in the lake of fire. I know way too may details about that book (the four horsemen, the seven seals, the seven trumpets, the beast with the seven heads and the ten horns, the lamb who speaks in flames, etc.) I want to make clear that they're not building a bomb shelter, but still. Ever since I could comprehend what he was saying, I have been fixated and scared beyond all reason about world events in relation to the end of the world. I can't stand apocalypse stories that use wholesale Revelations (Southland Tales, Evangelion, The Faire Queene, etc.) and to this day I've been incredibly paranoid about current events as if there was a giant hourglass running out. I can deny it all I want, but it's been imprinted deeply into my psyche. Our big discussion is happening tonite. I've formulated "nuclear options" as a deterent and leverage in order for us to negoitate with our parents. I feel that they don't respect us as adults and as much as they belive that brining materials in for our private viewing or consumption would "undermine their faith", we should still have the right to ownership of said materials as adults. As far as I'm concerned, they're insecure in their faith. After discussing this incident with friends and a life coach, I've discussed my plans with Danny. Danny is to apologize for violating the rules of the house and insulting Mom. We are to negotiate that our privacy as adults is to be repsected, as well as our ownership of our items. I'm prepared to move my comics, etc. out into a storage unit or have a friend who's willing to hold them. However, most likely they'll want us to dispose of them. Despite that I/we own our items. I'm going to ask that before we do anything, we bring in a third party unafiliated with us as friends/family/community. So a conselor and/or family law. This is an importaint legal question. I'd appreciate if only those who have expirence working in the law (lawyers, police officers, etc.) were to answer. To reitreate, I've prepared "nuclear options" purely for leverage, but I'm prepaed to see it through if I have to use it. I want to make it perfectly clear that I wouldn't have prepared them if I didn't feel justified in needing them. Here they are: Nuclear option #1-charge Mom and Dad with theft/destruction of property. I've discussed this with the life coach and he pointed out it's still their house and that would swing the law in their favor. This would only be used if Mom and Dad demmand to have our stuff thrown out and not moved and/or they physically put their hands on them. Nuclear option #2-charge Mom with assault against Danny. Mom's a distirbued indivdual. She's been abused as a child and she has moments where she gets beligerent and starts screaming. Rarely does she get violent, but it's happened. Such as what happened Wednesday night. This option is beyond the whole "ownership" argument: it's the fact that above all else, she was unjustified in harming my brother and deserves to face the cocnequences. If she's made it clear that the cops will be called when me and Danny fight, well she'd better be willing to be subject to her own rule. The life coach pointed out that Mom can turn around and charge Danny with domestic abuse for cursing and insulting her, but abuse trumps that. There's a reason why I call them "nuclear options": because these are to be used only as a last resort. The ideal situation would be that we observe the rules of the house that materials deemed offensive to God can't be veiwed or shown in front of everyone, and our privacy is respected to where we can hold on to any materials and view them in our own privacy. They can't be priviy to our choices or interests because as adults, we are all expected to tolerate and respect eachother as long as none of us impose upon the other. And I feel above all else that we're being imposed by them. My plan is to use the "nuclear options" as leverage to bring my parents to negotiate if they still insist on being unreasonable. Ideally, I'd have a physical conract writen up and signed by all parties, have it noterized if possible, and copies made. This would untimately be a temporary solution untill I move out or we as siblings could all rent out something together away from them. My question is: are said options justified? Are they legally sound? Am I being unreasonable? Should I use them? And how so? If I had the means and resources to move out, I would have. I'd be planning to right now as we speak. But I don't. Above all else, I don't have a job. Once I secure employment and have saved enough, then I will move out. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm not just going to burn the bridges: I'm going to blow up the drat bridge and salt the earth beneath it. I'm going to make it entirely sure how I had to endure a toxic enviornment and how I despise each and every one of them (except my little sister ). I've had to endure this kind of poo poo for years. I take full responsibility for my actions and descisions as a person. I'm aware I've been a terrible person. I'm aware I still am. I only expect others, especially those I consider family, to hold themselves accoutable and responsible for themselves as well. And that's the end of my megapost. Now I'm depressed. Maybe I'm too emphatic for my own good. If my ideas sound stupid, I accept that. I'm going to go keep myself busy. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm just very anxious and stressed for what's going to happen soon is all. Thanks everybody for being understanding and supportive. I love you all. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 19:55
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quote:If I had the means and resources to move out, I would have. I'd be planning to right now as we speak. But I don't. Above all else, I don't have a job. Once I secure employment and have saved enough, then I will move out I repeat, have you looked into Americorps?
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Feb 2, 2013 20:25
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Not a lawyer, so I won't comment on the legality of either option. However I'm familiar enough with the law to know that dealing with the police/court system is almost always a colossal pain in the rear end and probably not worth it for NO1. You're better off just ditching your comics sometime today and politely telling your parents to go gently caress themselves of they decide they want your stuff thrown out. Yeah they'll be mad, but probably less so than if you'd dragged their asses to small claims court.
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Feb 2, 2013 20:25
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Go to a United Way agency. Go to a shelter. Couch surf with a friend and pay them a bit of your savings. If the situation really is as dire and volatile as you say, you need to get out.
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Feb 2, 2013 20:36
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Benny the Snake posted:
I don't think you get it, there's really nothing for you to leverage on them. If you want their respect then talk to them about a reasonable plan about how you're going to be become more independent and move out. You keep talking about right to ownership, they have the right to decide whether you can live in their house; as long as you want to live there, their rights trumps yours.
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Feb 2, 2013 20:42
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readingatwork posted:Not a lawyer, so I won't comment on the legality of either option. However I'm familiar enough with the law to know that dealing with the police/court system is almost always a colossal pain in the rear end and probably not worth it for NO1. You're better off just ditching your comics sometime today and politely telling your parents to go gently caress themselves of they decide they want your stuff thrown out. Yeah they'll be mad, but probably less so than if you'd dragged their asses to small claims court. I should've posted that, but it's not out of spite or anger or revenge or pettiness. And to be honest, it's beyond "my stuff". It's that my parents are going to intrude upon my privacy. First it's get rid of my stuff. Next it's monitoring what I bring in to make sure that I'm not "undermining their faith". Next it's going to be an open door policy so what I may watch or do online can be "properly monitored" so that it's not an affront to God's word. Hell, they might even say I should get rid of my computer alltogether. I use it as a tool to apply for jobs, continue my writing, and recreation. I shouldn't have to be moniotired for the smallest little slight against what they consider "right" in a moral sense. Morality undermines itself not by what a person surrounds themselves but when they impose it. I'm doing it to stop the imposition. I don't impose my views or my likes upon my family. If it was me instead of Danny, I'd change the channel. And this is only because I know I'm going to be here for a while. I can't say untill I have a job. But I'm discussing these options to know what's avalible and if it's a good idea or not. Just wanted to reiterate that. Alkaiser posted:I don't think you get it, there's really nothing for you to leverage on them. If you want their respect then talk to them about a reasonable plan about how you're going to be become more independent and move out. You keep talking about right to ownership, they have the right to decide whether you can live in their house; as long as you want to live there, their rights trumps yours. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 20:43
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Benny the Snake posted:I should've posted that, but it's not out of spite or anger or revenge or pettiness. And to be honest, it's beyond "my stuff". It's that my parents are going to intrude upon my privacy. First it's get rid of my stuff. Next it's monitoring what I bring in to make sure that I'm not "undermining their faith". Next it's going to be an open door policy so what I may watch or do online can be "properly monitored" so that it's not an affront to God's word. Hell, they might even say I should get rid of my computer alltogether. I use it as a tool to apply for jobs, continue my writing, and recreation. I shouldn't have to be moniotired for the smallest little slight against what they consider "right" in a moral sense. Morality undermines itself not by what a person surrounds themselves but when they impose it. I'm doing it to stop the imposition. I don't impose my views or my likes upon my family. If it was me instead of Danny, I'd change the channel. For gently caress's sake, do you not have friends you can call? Other relatives? A United Way agency or a homeless shelter? I'm serious here. You need to get out. Who gives a gently caress about your computer or your comics or whatever? There are things that are way, way more important in this situation.
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Feb 2, 2013 20:56
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Benny the Snake posted:I'm very aware of that. I know the "nuclear options" are ecessive if not outright stupid. But that's why I'm checking with you guys first. If they are unreasonable, I'll forget about them. I'm willing to have my stuff moved out. Above all else, I want a third party present to help us move past our issues and ensure that we live in peace in the meantime to where I can plan to get out. You really need to change your point of view about all of this. First ask yourself why your parents don't respect you? Will threatening to get them in some sort of trouble make them respect you more? You should realize that most of the things you take for granted are PRIVILEGES, yes you may pay for them in some degree and help around the house but I doubt you would be able to afford them if you did not have free housing. No internet/computer at home is not the same as no internet/computer at all, you could still go to the library or unemployment centre. It all comes back to how much is worth to you to live there? I have no doubt your situation sucks, but this isn't a way for either of you to be happier about the situation.
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Feb 2, 2013 20:59
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Alkaiser posted:You really need to change your point of view about all of this. Morby posted:For gently caress's sake, do you not have friends you can call? Other relatives? A United Way agency or a homeless shelter? I'm serious here. You need to get out. Who gives a gently caress about your computer or your comics or whatever? There are things that are way, way more important in this situation. If I have to do away with things, I will. I have options and resources. I can always go to a library or a Starbucks or wherever. I'll stay here untill I'm drat sure I can make it on my own. I don't want to get out, only to have to come back. I might be poisoning myself, but as far as I'm concerned, it's only making me stronger.
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Feb 2, 2013 21:08
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Benny the Snake posted:I realize that. It's all privlidges. And as much as I talk about "respect" and all that, they ultimately call the shots. I just want to make it clear to them that we're all complicit and responsible for this and if we are to continue living together for whatever reason, we need to be peaceful about it. You're 22 years old with no job and in an abusive home environment. United Way agencies were designed to help people like you, even if it's just resume help, interview practice, and providing you with job leads. This situation is not sustainable and it's not tenable. You may be fine for a short period of time, but how long will it take before your mom blows up about something else? Do you really think you'll be able to get a job by then, without knowing when the next fall out will be? Yes, you are living in their house and you have to abide by their rules, no matter how silly. The only solution is the move out, and I really think you've been letting the poo poo roll downhill for way too long. And, as for that last line? Really? Are you saying that without a hint of irony here?
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Feb 2, 2013 21:12
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I'm still confused as to how clemen could see a government source that literally says "The unemployed persons per job opening ratio has trended downward since the end of the recession and was 3.3 in November 2012." and not understand that this means there aren't enough jobs to employ all unemployed people. Clemen what this means as directly stated in quite plain and easy to understand English is that for every 1 job opening there is over 3 people who don't have a job. Lets say that means there are 100 jobs and 330 unemployed people. If those 100 jobs were immediately filled you would still have 230 unemployed people but 0 jobs remaining. This has nothing to do with your major, your skills, your expertise, whatever, there are simply less jobs in existence than people looking for jobs. It is mathematically impossible for all 330 of those people to get a job even if they all went back in time and made sure they got the perfect skillsets for what are the presently available jobs. This was a government source, and I notice you ran away with your tail in between your legs when I asked you to provide something other than baseless conjecture but I'm honestly curious as to how you misinterpreted this in the first place. A child should be able to understand the 1 apple 3 people example. ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 21:40 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 21:34
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ArbitraryC posted:I'm still confused as to how clemen could see a government source that literally says "The unemployed persons per job opening ratio has trended downward since the end of the recession and was 3.3 in November 2012." You keep saying simple english but thats not what it means at all, by anyone who studies economics. Its an issue of distribution of jobs of varying complexities and professions. Thats why different rates exist for different professions and thats a general statisitc. Your reading it extremely myopically and its honestly weird. I never doubted your source and why you posted it 3 times like it proves your point is really confusing because we were discussing what those numbers mean, not if they exist. You clearly seem to have an ideological reason to believe this and I'm not gonna argue with you further over it (I also went to sleep last night). The OP has updated his thread. OP your nuclear option 1 is probably a no go legally but the bigger problem is the communication issue and perception. Your parents view you as children. And honestly at this point they are right. Do you think your parents would care (to the point of huge arguments) if you read comic books if you were independent? Your parents see two troubled kids who aren't succeeding and because of their beliefs view things like violent, sexual TV and comic books as bad influences on you. They clearly love you or they would have just kicked you out. So try and work with that. The best way to make these things stop is not to threaten them with lawsuits over comic books, but improve yourself. There have been a lot of great pieces of advice here you should explore them. ClemenSalad fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 21:43
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ClemenSalad posted:You keep saying simple english but thats not what it means at all, by anyone who studies economics. Its an issue of distribution of jobs of varying complexities and professions. Thats why different rates exist for different professions and thats a general statisitc. Your reading it extremely myopically and its honestly weird. I never doubted your source and why you posted it 3 times like it proves your point is really confusing because we were discussing what those numbers mean, not if they exist. You clearly seem to have an ideological reason to believe this and I'm not gonna argue with you further over it (I also went to sleep last night). The OP has updated his thread. Words are cheap, post sources. e: Here's another good one: http://stateofworkingamerica.org/charts/unemployed-and-job-openings-by-industry/ Notice how all those dark blue bars are longer than the lighter blue bars? That's a pretty important point! And in this one the line that says unemployed is always higher than the line that says job openings, I wonder what the implications of this are? http://stateofworkingamerica.org/charts/job-openings-levels-and-unemployment-levels/ I just can't put my finger on it, oh well I guess it must be my childish understanding of economics. ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Feb 2, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 21:49
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If OP likes his comic collection so much, has he considered renting outside storage space for it?
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Feb 2, 2013 21:50
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Nirvikalpa posted:If OP likes his comic collection so much, has he considered renting outside storage space for it? Actually, yes. Yes he has.
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Feb 2, 2013 21:55
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You know, I was on my way to put in time at my internship. Then I realized that the route I usually take over to the office changes on weekends. So I'm standing there at the stop. Wondering how am I going to explain to Jon, the field manager of the campaign, why I was late. Then I started thinking if I can even put on a straight face and put in time. And then it dawned on me. It finally broke to me. I just saw my mom, the person who gave birth to me, assualt my brother, my own flesh and blood. I realized that I'm traumatized. I called Jon and told him that I'm in no shape to put in time today. I told him it was family issues and he said he understood. He'd call tomorrow and we'd discuss my hours next week. Now I'm sitting here in a Starbucks. Tears rolling on my face. I realize how I'm a terrible person. How as much hate and disgust I have at my family, that I'm just as bad if not worst than them. That I've reduced my life to not bettering myself. Not even survival. But a win state. I had to hold on to my belongings. I had to prepare to call the police on my mom if neccessary. I had to prepare to go to war with my own flesh and blood. Because I had to show them that I'm a better person. Because I had to win. Because I was keeping score and I fooled myself that we were all doing the same. Because my hatred was making me stronger. Because my hate, my fustrations, my bile, and my vitriol against them were all I had left. I fooled myself into thinking that way. I fooled myself into thinking I was doing this to win. I convinced myself all that. And now I'm breaking down. Now I'm typing on my laptop to you guys completely.disgusted in myself. Now I realize that I need help. I'm going to call my uncle and ask if I can stay at his place for the night, maybe even the weekend. I can't deal with this. I can't go back home. Not now at least. But right now I have to calm myself down. I'm staying here for an hour to think things through. I'm not going back untill I'm sure that they're not there. So I can pack some clothes and take off. Goons, I'm sorry if I've infuriated you. I'm sorry if I've fustrated you. I'm sorry if I've wasted your time. I'll be fine. I just need to get away for a while. I'll be back in a sec. 
Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 08:26 on Feb 6, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 22:31
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