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 Previous LPs of Terrible Games
 Currently Ongoing LPs  Alternate Thread Titles
 Game OverviewYou Are Empty is a PC-exclusive first-person shooter / horror game developed by Mandel ArtPlains and Digital Spray Studios, published by 1C Company in Russia on October 27th, 2006. The game would later be published in the States by Atari, on October 16th, 2007. There's a summation of the game's plot on Wikipedia. I refuse to read it, for reasons that I will explain shortly. The game runs on the "DS2 Engine," which - from what I can gather - was only ever used for one other game. Which is probably for the best, seeing as the engine has no support for lighting or shader effects. As such, YAE relies entirely on flat textures, with any shadows you may see actually being "painted-on." Following a private screening of the game for Gamespot at E3 2006, Gamespot writer / puppy enthusiast Matthew Rorie commented that "the new physics effects seem like they'll have some unexpected consequences." What Matt really meant to say is that 500-pound objects in the game can be flung across the room by accidentally walking into them. There's also the matter of the player's ability to sprint, or move any faster than the speed of "slow": You can't. Your character seems content to walk at the same leisurely pace for what I gather to be the entirety of the game, which makes actions like dodging attacks or running for cover impossible. One might argue that this makes the game "more spooky." I would argue that it makes level progression roughly twice as long as it has any right to be. In what may come as a total surprise to you at this point, the game launched to abysmal reviews. The Metacritic score currently sits at 34/100, with 1 positive and 1 mixed review standing out against 12 negative reviews. Gamespot reviewer Brett Todd compared the game to the Soviet gulags, giving the game a 1.5/10.  Mission Statement"I wanted a bad video game, and for my sins, you gave me one." Kreittis first put the idea of playing this game in my head when he recommended it in the thread for my Call of Juarez: The Cartel LP. When a handful of YouTube comments also suggested I play the game, I finally began looking into it. When I realized that the game was attempting to go for "horror," I had the idea to play the game blind. What you're watching in this LP is my first ever playthrough of the game, with my live reactions to whatever spooky poo poo I may or may not encounter in it. This isn't to say that I spook easily or anything (Quite the contrary, in fact). I just figure it may make for a more interesting playthrough. And besides: If this game is really as bad as everyone has made it out to be, I doubt I can be bothered to play it again! Also, a friend tells me that I will "literally loving lose [my] poo poo" at the ending. We'll soon see about that.  Tech SpecsAs mentioned earlier, there are no pesky lighting or shader effects to worry about here. Nonetheless, every advanced graphical setting is maxed out... For whatever that's worth. I record and render my videos in 1280x720 at 30 frames a second, while game audio is presented in full stereo for Total Immersion™. Commentary is recorded during gameplay, with the game audio auto-ducked for your listening pleasure. Habermann fucked around with this message at Apr 8, 2013 around 22:15 |
| # ? Jan 31, 2013 21:45 |
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| # ? May 18, 2013 21:54 |
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 Episode Directory          Bonus Videos
 Misc. Links
Habermann fucked around with this message at May 10, 2013 around 17:01 |
| # ? Jan 31, 2013 21:45 |
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Uh, excuse me, true Russia looks like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uECx0sxKAzs I saw this game in the store a long time ago, but decided to not buy it. I am glad I made that choice.
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| # ? Jan 31, 2013 22:35 |
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So, is the protagonist going to be fighting crazy stumb leg guys and cleavage nurses all game? This looks interesting, especially the part where it seems the developer never thought a person might just turn and run from some of the monsters, most times you did that the monsters got stuck or broke it seems. I wonder what sane doctor would leave a bone fully exposed like that, seems it is useless without the flesh.
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| # ? Jan 31, 2013 22:41 |
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"Chinese Pistol" is the Chinese variant of the Mauser "broomhandle" pistol. Official designation is a "Type 17" Man, this game seems terrible. Speedball fucked around with this message at Jan 31, 2013 around 23:00 |
| # ? Jan 31, 2013 22:58 |
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Those nurse enemies have super masculine jaws. And the straitjacket enemies' teeth look less like teeth and more like someone glued sugar cubes to their gums.
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| # ? Jan 31, 2013 23:00 |
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Man, nothing says horror like a inbred drunkard with a pickaxe.
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| # ? Jan 31, 2013 23:08 |
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Capilarean posted:Man, nothing says horror like a inbred drunkard with a pickaxe. Well yeah, that sounds about right. I've got to admit, I really want to play the game that the opening cutscenes promised me. Hot drat, that looked neat.
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| # ? Jan 31, 2013 23:25 |
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As bad as this game looks, it does convey this certain feeling of desolation that Eastern European games really seem to nail. Metro 2033 and Stalker being positive examples for that. Too bad the rest of it seems to be on par with a bad mod for an Unreal Engine 2 game.
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| # ? Jan 31, 2013 23:35 |
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You were right, it was a German pistol. They were also cloned by China and used there. As well as China, they were popular in the USSR, although popular media associates them with the Civil War period, more so than the WWII period. The "attention, Moscow is speaking" sound clip at the beginning of the intro was a standard beginning of Yuri Levitan's radio broadcasts, and should be instantly recognizable to any Russian. I guess they didn't bother translating it. The cabinet that you found pills in has the symbol for a pharmacy in it, a snake coiling around a chalice. You will almost certainly always find only more pills in them. That water machine you used was also a staple of the Soviet city landscape. 1 kopeck (1/100 of a ruble) would buy you a glass of carbonated water, 3 would let you choose one of two flavours. I find the decision to make the Mauser pistol magazine-loading interesting. I guess doing that to a standard C96 would make it only be able to carry 9 rounds instead of the normal 10.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 00:27 |
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bumblingbee posted:Too bad the rest of it seems to be on par with a bad mod for an Unreal Engine 2 game. That is an insult to UE games everywhere. 
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 00:40 |
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Dammit, beaten! But seriously, thanks for LPing this... very Russian game. I've got a bit more knowledge of the game, so if you need any info about certain bits of the game, like certain bits that got cut, and  the actual plot , don't hesitate to ask!  Example: First cutscene confusing as hell? Here's what it means... Some Plot For Ya You are a high ranking russian military dude. You had a road accident, and were in a coma. You wake up, to find you're one of the very few actual humans around. The star and other stuff are... well, let's not spoil that, shall we? Also, you missed a dude getting pushed out of the window by crazies in the first room (look out the right window)... your first hint that something's up. Other Shizzle Oh yes, there are other enemies, so don't worry about sameyness. Also, that nurse is the only nurse I ever encountered who throws something. Ever. JamieTheD fucked around with this message at Feb 1, 2013 around 00:54 |
| # ? Feb 1, 2013 00:43 |
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What do the dynamic shadows even do, if there is no lighting? "Hey, we need some dynamic shadows, since all games have them." "Okay, I'll put it in the options menu, without linking it to anything." So could you pick up any of the axes the firemen drop?, since they seemed to drop separately from them? Or is it just ragdoll weapon drop? Oh man, the elevator button panel just jumps around separately from the elevator itself. I gotta say, the noises the enemies make, at least the dental work guy, don't really lend themselves to horror.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 01:05 |
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I feel a little smug that I can perfectly read all the Cyrillic writing in this game  Not that there's really any interesting text bits or things that aren't incredibly obvious (like the machine you drank from said вода/voda on the top, which means water). Never played this game and I can't wait to see what comes of it. If it's from Russia, I can only assume it will be something interesting at the very least 
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 01:18 |
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lotus circle posted:I feel a little smug that I can perfectly read all the Cyrillic writing in this game 1C Company's products can be a little...inconsistent. If you want a good game they made, play Death to Spies and its sequel. They're hard as hell, but much better than this thing.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 01:24 |
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Ensign Expendable posted:1C Company's products can be a little...inconsistent. If you want a good game they made, play Death to Spies and its sequel. They're hard as hell, but much better than this thing. And if you want just as "bad"/"worse" (it's very subjective at times), there's always Scorpion Disfigured and Vivisector. 
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 01:36 |
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JamieTheD posted:You are a high ranking russian military dude. You had a road accident, and were in a coma. You wake up, to find you're one of the very few actual humans around. The star and other stuff are... well, let's not spoil that, shall we? I really hope they try explaining how we managed to not get some of that beautiful cosmetic work done for us in the hospital, because it does seem really far fetched.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 01:37 |
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Common Coder posted:I really hope they try explaining how we managed to not get some of that beautiful cosmetic work done for us in the hospital, because it does seem really far fetched. For obvious reasons, I have no comment on this... ...Yet.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 02:05 |
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Capilarean posted:Man, nothing says horror like a inbred drunkard with a pickaxe. Or a fireman who makes his best pidgeon calls.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 02:09 |
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 Oh man, I didn't think anyone would ever LP this literal poo poo. I had to stop playing this after the second level, it's just too terrible to sit through.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 02:43 |
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...It doesn't look that bad.  Aside from the broken bit at the end and the way the elevator panel didn't move properly with the rest of it, the game looked more or less competently made.Hell, the health and ammo abundance is nice. Wonder how quickly that'll change, if at all...
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 02:44 |
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This is... pretty special. I'm particularly fond of Skullface Boobnurse's ridiculous little kick attack. It looks awkward and ineffectual and I can't help but laugh. Is she trying to stab you with her heels while she's wearing them?
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 03:06 |
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Yapping Eevee posted:...It doesn't look that bad. It's competent in the sense it doesn't crash all the time, I guess. But otherwise it's a hell of linear design, dumb enemies who shuffle towards you in a straight line, stiff gun play and grey environments built from repeated low-quality assets. And the nurse it's the most sigh-worthy enemy design I've seen in years.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 09:51 |
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Well those nurses are certainly a different kind of horror. It kindof looks like the merged a skull with some dudes nurse poser 3D model.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 11:37 |
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Oh, this is supposed to depict a dystopian Soviet Russia? could have fooled me!  Ensign Expendable posted:The "attention, Moscow is speaking" sound clip at the beginning of the intro was a standard beginning of Yuri Levitan's radio broadcasts, and should be instantly recognizable to any Russian. I guess they didn't bother translating it. You can also make out briefly the WW2 song Dva Maksima, about 'The Two Maxims' (one being a soldier, the other a heavy machine gun).
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 12:33 |
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That was a nice opening cutscene. Too nice for this game.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 14:06 |
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Rather than no lighting, it looks like the game has quake or half-life style precomputed lightmaps but no dynamic lights. Those 'dynamic shadows' also look like glquake's fake dynamic shadows where the model's outline was projected on the ground in a sort of black smear, just smoothed out here. A really pointless detail in a game with no dynamic lights.
one on a bun fucked around with this message at Feb 9, 2013 around 20:05 |
| # ? Feb 1, 2013 14:31 |
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Hey Habermann, if you are looking for other really terrible games to play, you should give Psychotoxic a try. Also if you happen to have the manual could you post the descriptions for the enemies? They are pretty great, however since you are playing blind it might spoil future enemies.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 14:47 |
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I am glad that I have succesfully influenced you into playing this... thing. The starting levels are boring but trust me on this one, it's going to get pretty loving weird soon enough.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 14:55 |
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I don't know if anyone noticed but in the elevator the buttons moved separate from the elevator.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 15:08 |
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thevoiceofdog posted:That was a nice opening cutscene. Too nice for this game. This game absolutely does not deserve that opening. I am utterly baffled that people can make a free game like Cry of Fear, but an actual studio/company manages to "develop" this. The nurses look utterly contrived, as if they were added just to emulate Silent Hill's nurses. At least it is playable, with no game-breaking glitches so far. And I find hilarious that some nurses seem to give birth to a thermos of vodka upon death (I'm assuming it's vodka. If it's a Russian game, if it's liquid and empowers you, it's vodka). If so, then our character is basically Carnby from the Alone in the Dark, staggering around utterly sloshed and slaughtering "monsters" in a drunken near-stupor, searching for liquor to boost his blood-alcohol level, trying to stave off sobriety. Hence the title, if we consider our character to be to be a human-shaped flask of vodka, when he's finally empty, he becomes sober and "dies". PumpkinBat fucked around with this message at Feb 1, 2013 around 16:27 |
| # ? Feb 1, 2013 16:25 |
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I vaguely remember hearing about this game when it first came out. The cover art and opening cutscene were pretty neat; it's a shame that at first blush the game contained within is merely...acceptable. Not great, not terrible, just barely satisfying the base requirements needed to be considered a playable game. Hopefully it really does get weirder later on.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 17:40 |
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poo poo, it looks better than Legendary.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 18:50 |
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Is it just me or are the monster models in this game basically the Russian version of the village people?
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 19:07 |
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Oh my. I was about to buy this game several times, but always put it off for one reason or the other. Kind of glad that I did, as the gameplay seems utterly bland this far. Though breaking the game with it's own physics could be fun. Still, I'm a sucker for Russian games and really wanna see where the plot leads us.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 19:19 |
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...so why do the mutant nurses not have pants on? also those incredibly small tops? Is this a stripper hospital?
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 19:24 |
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I've played through this game a few years ago, you're in for quite a ride I tell you. A lot of enemy concepts just seem like terrible copies of other games like the "silent hill" esque nurses.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 19:25 |
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They're a reflection of the protagonist's sex drive and crippling fear of lips.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 19:26 |
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that opening cutsean looked pritty drat good, the rest of it looks about 6 years older than it actualy is. I don't envy you in the slightest this game looks like it's gonna be a chore, also I'm willing to bet that you are the "real monster" is gonna be the lovely twist.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 19:49 |
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| # ? May 18, 2013 21:54 |
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CyanideMonkey posted:Is it just me or are the monster models in this game basically the Russian version of the village people? They are parodies of the sort of professions you would find on a Communist propaganda poster. So yeah, in a way the Russian Village People.
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| # ? Feb 1, 2013 19:49 |
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