Feb NHL N/V: stevie fucking wonder could do a better job

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium* > Feb NHL N/V: stevie fucking wonder could do a better job

Paper Jam Dipper: Jul 14, 2007; "Hey you want some cheese and crackers buddy?"

For some reason, I want to blame Josh Gorges for all of this.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 21:54

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# ? May 22, 2013 03:38

goldrush: Sep 27, 2005

quote:

Down Goes Brown
‏@DownGoesBrown
Ironically, "triple low-5" was also what PK Subban originally thought his agent would be able to get him on his new contract.

James ‏@sir_jamez
@DownGoesBrown it was also the nickname of the habs first line

zingers!

# ? Feb 1, 2013 21:54

shyduck: Oct 3, 2003

I'm just going to leave this here.

quote:

Unleash your hidden wolf on Valentine's Day

Bernie Parent, Philly.com

Let�s forget my career with the Philadelphia Flyers, back-to-back Stanley Cup championships, and Hall of Fame induction, just for one minute. Even though these significant events have opened many doors and opportunities beyond my wildest dreams, I am here to introduce you to the human side of me; the primitive side, the animal side, the �wolf.�

I have been to the very top, and I�ve been blinded by darkness, literally and figuratively; which in turn, forced me to dig deep inward. We are meant for so much more, and if you make the active decision to propel yourself forward, face your fears, and take risks, you can accomplish your goals.

The fear I have faced and battled, in direct correlation with the risks I�ve taken, have allowed me to find true success, freedom, and the wolf inside. I have made it my goal to help people around me, people I meet, even by coincidence, break free from their cage, disregard personal boundaries, and find true happiness and success.

If you think fear and risk are behind us, a figment of the past and don�t surface in our every day lives, you couldn�t be more wrong.

On December 31st, 2011, I took one of the biggest risks to date.

Let me paint this picture for you. You are the starting goaltender for the Philadelphia Flyers in the Winter Classic Alumni game. You are about to step on the ice for the first time in about 30 years, in front of 45,000 people with millions more watching at home, with the expectation to PERFORM in front of the fans you love, at the age of 66.

Without question, I had a tremendous amount of fears that most importantly included a failed performance, disappointing my fans and not being able to perform at the same level and create the same reaction I had 30 years prior. I had everything to lose and nothing to gain. I had no choice but to let the wolf take over and take the risk that ultimately proved to be one of the best decisions I had made for my life and career.

The five minutes that I was given on the ice during the Winter Classic Alumni game, surrounded by the best fans in America, were exhilarating and liberating. The feelings were equal to what I had felt after winning those back-to-back Stanley Cup championships. I had just filled a void that had been steadily increasing for 35 years, and as I stood with my teammates on center ice, the feeling I felt, no money in the world could ever buy it. What if I would have given in to my fear and sat the bench and just waved?

It wasn�t about saying goodbye as an athlete. I accomplished that during my retirement ceremony as my banner was raised. My decision to play was about having the balls to go out there at 66 years old and be a participant, not a spectator. I accomplished something that only a performance of that stature would provide; not thinking about it, not dreaming about it, but doing it.

The wolf would not let my fear of the unknown hold me back, and I reaped the greatest benefits.

Now that I�ve set the tone, revealed my goal to help people find what makes them tick and my purpose for joining Philly.com, I�d like to turn the focus to the month of February and Valentine�s Day.

For some, Valentine�s Day is a time to show your appreciation for loved ones. For others, it�s a day of impending doom, a pointless �holiday,� and a yearly reminder of the reasons you are single.

Being that I am a seasoned ladies man and �Philadelphia�s most interesting man,� I have the same message for both types of people: Find your wolf.

If you are single, allow yourself to do some inner-searching and find the person that you want to be, so you are ready and willing to share that with someone else when the time comes. Remember, happy feelings will attract happy circumstances.

For those of you that are in a relationship, let your partner be their own wolf. Don�t restrict your partner. Let them fulfill who they are as an individual; it does not mean they don�t love you. If you let them go, let them do, they will explore and be their own person. That is what makes the bond between the two of you stronger.

Don�t leash them, don�t cage them, just have fun. And do it together.

�I am a free spirit; either admire me from the ground or fly with me, but don�t ever try to cage me.� �Unknown.

I�ll open up the floor to the readers. Email me your questions.

Stay horny, my friends.

--The Most Interesting Man in Philadelphia
Bernie Parent

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:00

mr. unhsib: Sep 19, 2003; I hate you all.

Senility is a sad, sad thing.

Twitter is the best for one liners.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:05

Drunk Canuck: Jan 9, 2010; Robots ruin all the fun of a good adventure.

Hand Knit posted:

RANK PLAYER TEAM TOI/G

18 Mike Kostka TOR 25:22
19 Alex Pietrangelo STL 25:07
20 Duncan Keith CHI 24:55

miiiiiiike kostkaaaaaaa

Just wanted to say gently caress you Hand Knit for pointing this out god drat it.

Can Carlyle be tied down in the city square so I and others can throw rotten fruits and vegetables at him?

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:17

FetalDave: Jun 25, 2011

Is this "unsportsmanlike conduct for talking back to the ref" poo poo going to stop any time soon? It feels like I'm watching the NBA or something.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:18

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006; MUNCH
MUNCH
MUNCH
MUNCH
MUNCH

FetalDave posted:

Is this "unsportsmanlike conduct for talking back to the ref" poo poo going to stop any time soon? It feels like I'm watching the NBA or something.

Calling it, or doing it?

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:19

nature6pk: May 26, 2006; Left Coast Lame-o

FetalDave posted:

Is this "unsportsmanlike conduct for talking back to the ref" poo poo going to stop any time soon? It feels like I'm watching the NBA or something.

I sure hope not, guys beaking off for getting called for blatant penalties and then getting another 2 because they're whiny bitches will never, ever get old.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:22

Godinster: Jan 2, 2005; No more tripping, Emery

FetalDave posted:

Is this "unsportsmanlike conduct for talking back to the ref" poo poo going to stop any time soon? It feels like I'm watching the NBA or something.

I hope not. Watching Ryan White get an unsportsmanlike for yelling gently caress YOU at a referee was wonderful.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:24

FetalDave: Jun 25, 2011

Aphrodite posted:

Calling it, or doing it?

Calling it.

Buffalo has gotten 3 so far I think. I know Washington has gotten a few. I think I saw Gaustad get one last night for the Predators.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:29

Paper Jam Dipper: Jul 14, 2007; "Hey you want some cheese and crackers buddy?"

goldrush posted:

zingers!

I liked James' joke.

Down Goes Brown, as usual, is not funny.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:33

Emetic Hustler: May 5, 2009

FetalDave posted:

Calling it.

Buffalo has gotten 3 so far I think. I know Washington has gotten a few. I think I saw Gaustad get one last night for the Predators.

Why? Players should just shut up and deal with it. Has a player ever managed to talk themselves out of a penalty? No, so why even bother.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:42

xzzy: Mar 5, 2009; Tonight's starting lineup is
brought to you by Satan.

Emetic Hustler posted:

Why? Players should just shut up and deal with it. Has a player ever managed to talk themselves out of a penalty? No, so why even bother.

They occasionally get make up calls later in the game though. It's a time honored tradition.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:43

dyn: Jan 9, 2005; Barn duelin' since '07

Surprised to find out today that I'll be spending my birthday tomorrow watching my Leafs get the poo poo kicked out of them by the Bruins live. Thanks mom!

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:48

Emetic Hustler: May 5, 2009

xzzy posted:

They occasionally get make up calls later in the game though. It's a time honored tradition.

That's one of the stupidest things that I hate about how the officiating works in the NHL. Just call the game as is and it doesn't matter if one team is stupid enough to take seven straight penalties.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:49

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; World's #1
Ovoid Sharpshooter
2012

shyduck posted:

I'm just going to leave this here.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:52

Paper Jam Dipper: Jul 14, 2007; "Hey you want some cheese and crackers buddy?"

Emetic Hustler posted:

That's one of the stupidest things that I hate about how the officiating works in the NHL. Just call the game as is and it doesn't matter if one team is stupid enough to take seven straight penalties.

Agreed. "Easing it up in the playoffs" is loving dumb too.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 22:55

The Dirty Burger: Aug 24, 2007; 1st team all star
+
2nd degree manslaughter
=
3rd world clothing line

God has hockey ever made me hate hearing the word "respect"

Therien is as much of a dumb caveman as he looks

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:10

Henrik Zetterberg: Dec 7, 2007

Oh cool, got $35 tickets to see the Sharks tomorrow. I guess I'll root for the undefeated streak to end.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:16

Troy Queef: Jan 12, 2013; This post was a bitch, and I spanked it.

nature6pk posted:

I sure hope not, guys beaking off for getting called for blatant penalties and then getting another 2 because they're whiny bitches will never, ever get old.

It never gets old calling those penalties either, especially when you can hear "THAT'S loving BULLSHIT!" clear across the ice and both you AND your partner T him up at the same time, like I did a few weekends ago.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:17

SKULE123: Mar 21, 2007; LESS ELITE THAN YOU

quote:

Least offended by end of triple-low-five celebration is #Habs @PKSubban1: "Change is good" P.K. texts with a wink

Soldier on, PK.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:18

neoaxd: Nov 13, 2004; So when I'm killin' 2 minutes, you better duck
Cause Cat Horse is crazy as fuck
As I leave, believe I'm scorin'
But when I come back, boy, I'm comin' straight outta Kladno

SKULE123 posted:

Soldier on, PK.

I just hope this means we'll see something even more outlandish.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:21

SKULE123: Mar 21, 2007; LESS ELITE THAN YOU

neoaxd posted:

I just hope this means we'll see something even more outlandish.

Don Mattingly sideburns, basically.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:22

Paper Jam Dipper: Jul 14, 2007; "Hey you want some cheese and crackers buddy?"

neoaxd posted:

I just hope this means we'll see something even more outlandish.

I'm hoping for the first ever Haka Polynesian War Dance on skates.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:24

Xtanstic: Nov 22, 2007; I have the same feeling every time: my head's ready to explode, I want to kill somebody cutting across the blue line and I want to score the goal and celebrate.

Paper Jam Dipper posted:

I'm hoping for the first ever Haka Polynesian War Dance on skates.

Already exists.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUNhqmcUa5U

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:28

Parachute Underwear: Jul 21, 2006; The Bruins are the hat to the Canadiens' scarf. The hat says to the scarf, "you just hang around and I'll go on ahead."

Habs org is trying to steal Most Serious Team status from Detroit, I see

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:33

neoaxd: Nov 13, 2004; So when I'm killin' 2 minutes, you better duck
Cause Cat Horse is crazy as fuck
As I leave, believe I'm scorin'
But when I come back, boy, I'm comin' straight outta Kladno

Parachute Underwear posted:

Habs org is trying to steal Most Serious Team status from Detroit, I see

Well they already stripped Lidstrom for parts so they could finish Markov, so...

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:45

SKULE123: Mar 21, 2007; LESS ELITE THAN YOU

Has anyone seen Youppi lately?

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:47

Pancakes by Mail: Oct 21, 2010; Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Goaltender Carey Price was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

SKULE123 posted:

Has anyone seen Youppi lately?

Actually, publically killing Youppi would be a great way for Therrien to get back in everyone's good graces.

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:54

The Roadwarrior: Aug 23, 2003; I spend too much time thinking about the Montreal Canadiens.

neoaxd posted:

Well they already stripped Lidstrom for parts so they could finish Markov, so...

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:56

nature6pk: May 26, 2006; Left Coast Lame-o

SKULE123 posted:

Has anyone seen Youppi lately?

Dead in a ditch

# ? Feb 1, 2013 23:56

trilljester: Dec 7, 2004; "I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I'll have to see the video or something. Someone show me the video."

Henrik Zetterberg posted:

Oh cool, got $35 tickets to see the Sharks tomorrow. I guess I'll root for the undefeated streak to end.

Wear your Red Wings jersey.

# ? Feb 2, 2013 00:00

The Bunk: Sep 15, 2007; Oh, I just don't know
where to begin.

nature6pk posted:

I sure hope not, guys beaking off for getting called for blatant penalties and then getting another 2 because they're whiny bitches will never, ever get old.

I'd like it even more if the ref had to repeat exactly what was said to get the penalty.

"#63, Boston. 2 minutes for interference. 2 minutes for calling me a blind piece of poo poo."

# ? Feb 2, 2013 00:01

Wamsutta: Sep 9, 2001; We go hard.

So I just signed up for GC Live and now I keep getting "Too busy, try again" every time I try join this Caps/Flyers game in progress.

so that's fun. well worth my $50

# ? Feb 2, 2013 00:03

mr. unhsib: Sep 19, 2003; I hate you all.

"2 minutes for implying my mother enjoys anal sex"

# ? Feb 2, 2013 00:03

Vigilance: Nov 18, 2006; It's the "balls to the wall" type scenario. It is what it is.

Therrien owns

# ? Feb 2, 2013 00:04

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; Jeff's watching...

Refs should just announce penalties like they see them:

"(Team name), number (number), two minutes for being a douche."

"Detroit, number 22, minor penalty, hitting a guy in a way that was pretty lovely and being an rear end in a top hat, you should be ashamed."

Followed by the PA announcer saying that the player was given "two minutes for douchebaggery, time of the penalty 1:02"

# ? Feb 2, 2013 00:05

nature6pk: May 26, 2006; Left Coast Lame-o

Then into the piranha infested penalty box. I think we've found a way to reintroduce excitement into the game without massive brain traumas.

# ? Feb 2, 2013 00:07

revtoiletduck: Aug 21, 2006; smart newbie

Apparently Erik Karlsson is wearing an A tonight.

# ? Feb 2, 2013 00:07

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# ? May 22, 2013 03:38

neoaxd: Nov 13, 2004; So when I'm killin' 2 minutes, you better duck
Cause Cat Horse is crazy as fuck
As I leave, believe I'm scorin'
But when I come back, boy, I'm comin' straight outta Kladno

CBJSprague24 posted:

Refs should just announce penalties like they see them:

"(Team name), number (number), two minutes for being a douche."

"Detroit, number 22, minor penalty, hitting a guy in a way that was pretty lovely and being an rear end in a top hat, you should be ashamed."

Followed by the PA announcer saying that the player was given "two minutes for douchebaggery, time of the penalty 1:02"

I approve of this idea.

# ? Feb 2, 2013 00:09

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium* > Feb NHL N/V: stevie fucking wonder could do a better job