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Scary Ned
Mar 16, 2007

very scary


Every couple of days, my local craigslist gets bombarded with dozens of posts from a Prolific Local Artist. In addition to some strange ads for random objects in the barter section, he likes to post numerous, repetitive ads for his artwork. I grabbed all of these a few minutes ago, there are 10x as many up right now:





















He's fond of putting his painting up under several different titles, and when they get flagged down he reposts them with accusations that other artists are jealous. I'm sure there are more ads than this for this painting right now:









He also liked to spam this one all over the place for reasons that are extremely unclear:



I've been seeing these ads for months and months, and I guess the rest of our local community is extremely tolerant because most of them don't get flagged down. After scrolling through pages and pages of them yet again, I was suddenly inspired to create and sell my own "arts" via tribute ads. I've tried to capture the tone and flavor of the originals:









And of course the ubiqitous book ad:



Would anyone else like to create and photograph some art? If you include some fruity transcendental language I will cheerfully post an ad for you.

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gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008



Scary Ned posted:

Would anyone else like to create and photograph some art? If you include some fruity transcendental language I will cheerfully post an ad for you.

People who create art are probably already photographing it...not sure what the point of this is. The guy you posted is probably schizo, but his art is not bad (especially the pottery).

President Kucinich
Feb 21, 2003

Bitterly Clinging to my AK47 and Das Kapital


That is a fine copper blessed vase. Would definitely put that on the shelf.

Most of his prices are what's bullshit.

Cacator
Aug 6, 2005

You're quite good at turning me on.


It is interesting to read that "the images/be.ings that are created are NEVER planned out, preconceived or contrived." Really! I don't know of anybody who doesn't need a HUGE ceramic PERFECTION sitting in their homes as soon as possible.

Smythe
Oct 12, 2003




no_meds=f4

Ceramic Perfection looks like it'll become Ceramic Broken Shards pretty quick

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008



Smythe posted:

Ceramic Perfection looks like it'll become Ceramic Broken Shards pretty quick

So keep your loving rugrats away from the pottery.

Scary Ned
Mar 16, 2007

very scary


gnarlyhotep posted:

People who create art are probably already photographing it...not sure what the point of this is. The guy you posted is probably schizo, but his art is not bad (especially the pottery).

Well yes, but I'm running out of ideas/paint so I'm asking if anyone else wants to create some stuff for my ads.

What makes you say he's a schizo and not just a doofy special snowflake artist? Here are some of his not-art ads:



HarlanHell
Nov 16, 2012

Nevermind that shit here comes Mingo!


I can't get over the painting EthnoIcantDECIDEwhaTOcallIT. 999$ is really steep for something that literally looks like a four year olds finger painting. I'm all about abstract art if its done well, but that thing looks like crap.

WD-40
Oct 22, 2007



I really like ASTRAL TORQUE. I will give you $5 for it.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008



Scary Ned posted:

Well yes, but I'm running out of ideas/paint so I'm asking if anyone else wants to create some stuff for my ads.

What makes you say he's a schizo and not just a doofy special snowflake artist? Here are some of his not-art ads:





I think it's the WAY he WRITES his ADS!!

LIKE he's not quite RIGHT in the HEAD>!!!

I suppose it's not even his art, since he seems to be hawking whatever he can to get drug money (or just drugs directly). Send the guy a link to this thread and let's get to the bottom of this.

karl fungus
May 6, 2011

Baeume sind auch Freunde




Is that supposed to be Giygas? Astral being, indeed.

Glasgow Kiss
Dec 12, 2007

Ode To Viceroy

You know a hat is bad when even a mentally ill person thinks it wouldn't look good on him.

Scary Ned
Mar 16, 2007

very scary


Well that was quick:

Prolific Local Artist posted:

DUDE! LOL .... i am BEYOND HONORED. you just made my night..... that's some funny poo poo!
You actually made me laugh..... which is hard to do. you should be a comedian....

PROPS MAN> how much of YOUR OWN time/energy did you spend on that? .....and to TRY and hurt me? as if.... anyone
......much less someone like YOU could..... i know who i am and what i have.... as if YOU could diminish my light

i don't expect most of the morons out there to recognize.... but at least you have. you got me bro.

hahahhaahahaahaahaa ...... i am going to keep this one though for the next time i need a good laugh.

like all the 'artists' in (local town) you are good at COPYING something..... THAT is your genius. cool though all the same....

nice work on your piece.... good swirl! we should collaborate sometime....

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008



Scary Ned posted:

Well that was quick:

Well Ned, I'm sorry to have doubted you. You have discovered the next Kyoon.

e: you should definitely collaborate with him, I know it will be genius

Glasgow Kiss
Dec 12, 2007

Ode To Viceroy

I read every one of his posts like it was a beatnik poetry session. Screw it, it's 10 P.M. but I going to have a cup of coffee.

Lazlo Nibble
Jan 9, 2004

It was Weasleby, by God! At last I had the miserable blighter precisely where I wanted him!

...Jar Jar Binks with a surfboard?

Sperg Some More
Nov 11, 2012


Glasgow Kiss posted:

You know a hat is bad when even a mentally ill person thinks it wouldn't look good on him.


"Brand New...NEVER WORN (because the hat looks STUPID...i only bought it because the VOICE in my HEAD would not stop SCREAMING....wish it fit me better and DIDNT LOOK LIKE poo poo"

Scary Ned
Mar 16, 2007

very scary


I like to read them out loud and shout every capitalized word. Here are a few more arts:









uG
Apr 23, 2003



Sir I will pay scrap value for it all.

edit: as they will take 50% anyway

Scary Ned
Mar 16, 2007

very scary


A second response, I haven't replied yet:

Prolific Local Artist posted:

my favorite so far..... hahahahahahahahaha you are awesome man!

I PERSONALLY LOVE this PIECE SO MUCH that I have never shown it to anyone before. I feel as if it is a part of my very soul, and it also might be haunted by the spirit of my great great aunt Lois

you are my new favorite person.... seriously

i should actually read craigslist ads more often..... if anyone else is talking poo poo send their posts my way..... i will probably never get them unless they are on there tonight

you are good man..... seriously, go into comedy or writing


And a third...

Prolific Local Artist posted:

that is actually true............ (retail/gallery price would be $666 but I'm letting it go for a steal of $333 because it's a less satanic number...

you read my mind!

WOW you spent a lot of time on this..... sad

go to the beach or something

I like how he goes back and forth between "haha so funny!" and "so sad and pathetic!"

Glasgow Kiss
Dec 12, 2007

Ode To Viceroy

A lot of the names remind me of the time when I was twelve years old, making similar masterpieces in a Middle School art class. I'd call the teacher over, ask her if I did well and was always met with a reassuring nod. Though a quick glance into her eyes said otherwise, as she took a sip of her liqueur-infused coffee and sat at her desk, staring off into oblivion. A quick summer job that became a lifetime identity.

Tip
Mar 21, 2006

Your move, creep.


HarlanHell posted:

I can't get over the painting EthnoIcantDECIDEwhaTOcallIT. 999$ is really steep for something that literally looks like a four year olds finger painting. I'm all about abstract art if its done well, but that thing looks like crap.

The OP made that one, the actual crazy guy's art is pretty decent.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

Flippin' fancy!


Is it bad I think a few of these are quite pretty?

Bigchops
Mar 13, 2005
Biggus Choppus

Das Boo posted:

Is it bad I think a few of these are quite pretty?

No, but it is bad if you are willing to play those prices.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

Flippin' fancy!


Bigchops posted:

No, but it is bad if you are willing to play those prices.

Oh, gently caress, no.

Scary Ned
Mar 16, 2007

very scary


Prolific Local Artist posted:

i was hoping for more.......

if you come up with any more send em my way.....

try and get more insulting though...... you haven't succeeded AT ALL in what you HOPED to do to me...

I WILL TRY AND NOT USE SO MANY CAPS .....JUST FOR YOU. I GUESS MY POSTS BOTHER YOU.....SORRY?

AND YOU ARE RIGHT..... I DON'T PLAY THE ART WORLD GAME MUCH.... I'M NOT FAKE OR PRETENTIOUS ENOUGH TO

AND MY ART ISN'T lovely ENOUGH... SO I THOUGHT I'D TRY THIS. AND I MAY CONTINUE JUST TO PISS YOU OFF MORE

IF NOTHING ELSE I INSPIRED you TO WRITE (ART) COMEDY, paint silly pictures and to get creative.... you are welcome.

get a hobby.... or even a life. or just enjoy the peace and quiet of your own mind. i hope you find happiness one day.

much love to you my friend....

He was hoping for more, do you suppose it's time to share this thread with him?

Glasgow Kiss
Dec 12, 2007

Ode To Viceroy

Some are decent looking, especially if they're coming from a rudimentary artist. Others, like Gaia and Luna (unless OP made that, then disregard), are completely hideous. The prices, however, are hilarious.

e: Share it!

HarlanHell
Nov 16, 2012

Nevermind that shit here comes Mingo!


Tip posted:

The OP made that one, the actual crazy guy's art is pretty decent.

OK after re-reading the OP that makes a lot more sense. I was wondering why the quality of his art was fluctuating so much.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

Flippin' fancy!


Maybe we can sell him an account for the low, low price of $4444!

MLIOOBE
May 6, 2009



Is this guy a FYAD poster?

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008



https://soundcloud.com/gnarlyhotep/art

Tried my hand at RANDOM caps READING

Sperg Some More
Nov 11, 2012


quote:


Sir I have interest in purchasing your fine art piece and have mailed a check for the full amount requested in the listing. Unfortunately I have made an calculating error and sent an amount of $8333. When you receive the cheque may your mail the difference back to me along with the item to: Prince Okonabi, 391 Nowhere Road, Lagos Nigeria. Thank you for your patience.

Part of Everything
Feb 1, 2005

He clenched his teeh and walked out of the study

Some artists are great painters. He is not one of them. He does do some nice ceramic work though.

I used to be an assistant curator at an art gallery and have seen a lot of garbage with hefty price tags attached. Many of those pieces were cheaper than what he's trying to sell some of his stuff for, that says something.

Scary Ned
Mar 16, 2007

very scary


gnarlyhotep posted:

https://soundcloud.com/gnarlyhotep/art

Tried my hand at RANDOM caps READING

This is amazing and wonderful, thank you for making this.

Sierra Nevadan
Nov 1, 2010

Here, have some hantavirus


Might want to edit out the abbreviation of your town in the email he sent you. It looks like he's also selling a bunch of Hindu and Buddhist statues.

e: Sorry, can't find any crazies in my local craigslist art section. Just a bunch of boring crap and people trying to sell tire rims.

Scary Ned
Mar 16, 2007

very scary


Thanks, fixed that. I'm pretty sure the guy with the statues is different, he posts in all caps and leaves a name and number. It's just not RANDOM enough.

Covert Ops Wizard
Dec 27, 2006



I would buy his copper blessed vase if it were 20$...it's pretty inoffensive as far as the rest of his work goes. Oh he want to barter...I guess I do have several FINE hats that have ADORNED my thoughtbox. You will get MAD HEAD with these hats.

scuzzy pumper
Aug 2, 2007



I would like that piece of pottery imbued with the spirit of the schizophrenic's dead grandma. It would make a powerful talisman, for magick.

Sperg Some More
Nov 11, 2012


Have you showed the guy this thread yet? I would like to make an offer to purchase antipsychotic medication from him.

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bunnybean
Mar 31, 2010



A lot of his art is really quite pretty; it's the pricing and the pompousness that's terrible. I hope he shows up here and we can help him!

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