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So-bad-it's-good is an acquired taste, but if you have that taste, then you've opened up a giant, largely untapped vein of incredible comedies. In some cases, that vein has some accidentally surrealist and strangely artistic movies in it as well, but this thread's primarily here for the awkward line delivery, massive plot holes, bizarre stories, and poo poo soundtracks. Let's get the classics out of the way: At this point, I'd be shocked if a single goon didn't know about The Room. It has some of the most bizarre pacing and performances you can find, not to mention the dialogue. A story of love, loss, and two (count 'em!) dispassionate and mildly off-putting sex scenes, "The Room" is a modern classic.  You haven't seen this? OH MY GOOOOOOOOD. Just watch this. There are no trolls in Troll 2. Watch this. And now that we've got the two most obvious choices out of the way (although Plan 9 From Outer Space deserves a mention,) Here's one that I recently discovered thanks to Red Letter Media:  The Russian Terminator, which is very clearly originally titled The Russian Ninja, is just kind of fascinating: a number of the actors don't seem to know english, and are just reading lines phonetically. It features a nearly incoherent plot that manages to be easily followed simply because it trudges forward using time-worn film conventions. It's soundtrack is the most  TERRIBLE 80's SYNTH thing you've ever heard, and it's so relentless there's only about 3-4 minutes of silence in the entire film at most.It also features the best sweater in all of movie wardrobe history. You'll know it when you see it.
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 20:28 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 10:33 |
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A SAMPLE OF THE WORST: Battlefield Earth Humans fight back after years of alien enslavement. clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wM7NvGzyfF0 Battle Beyond the Stars A farmer gathers mercenaries to defend his peaceful planet. Film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYgu91HbBL4 Hard Rock Zombies A rock band struggles with a small town's odd culture. Guest appearance by Hitler. Film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUEK6FlOmkY Intercessor: Another… The Intercessor fights demons to save the last innocent souls on earth. Clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYYqqsxS318 Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter Kung-Fu Action / Comedy / Horror / Musical about the second coming. Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LRIypcaIX4 Miami Connection Holy poo poo. Clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpZu69OB2KM Nightmare City An airplane encounters radiation and crash lands. Strangely well armed zombies emerge. Clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OxYD2yoq5E Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare A band sets up camp in a farmhouse that suffered a tragedy long ago. Featuring John Triton. Film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-skGCIhaDVU Samurai Cop A buddy cop movie that tackles the complex issue of circumcision. Clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6gk04xzN3U Santa with Muscles Santa is impersonated by a shockingly buff evil millionaire with amnesia. Film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CUaqtrfvM4 Space Mutiny The pilot of a spaceship struggles to save the crew from being sold into slavery. Clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY Star Slammer (prison ship) Two unjustly imprisoned women fight back. Features creative editing. Film: (russian) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jqn7rBEovl4 The Apple (star rock) A musical picture set in the far flung future of 1994. No clip or film link. Vicious Lips Space band travels to space club to try and hit it space big, but ALL GOES AWRY. Film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyhdXv7Ms2w Warrior of the Lost World Orwellian future government taken down by a brave motorcyclist. Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9Un8h9JeM8 Zombie 90: Extreme Pestilence Two doctors try to stop an epidemic. A zombie epidemic. Clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpVVxilpGMc e: changed title to reflect 
Dr. Witherbone fucked around with this message at Apr 18, 2013 around 05:00 |
| # ? Feb 7, 2013 20:28 |
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Zombie 90: Extreme Pestilence has the greatest dubbing track I've ever heard. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpVVxilpGMc "Special Forces?"
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 20:57 |
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I wrote a book on this topic, but two favorites I didn't put in there that I discovered in the last few months are Samurai Cop and Miami Connection. For Samurai Cop, this scene should give you an idea of the quality of the dialogue and acting in the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6gk04xzN3U As for Miami Connection, it's about a group of five tae kwon do masters who all live together, perform together in a rock band called Dragon Sound, and fight the local drug trade. Here is their hit song, "Friends" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVtyOwcQo-w
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 21:04 |
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Star Slammer The Apple Battle Beyond the Stars Space Mutiny Warrior of the Lost World All terrible. All so bad they are good. Troll 2 is the king though. There is a movie called Contamination 7, also known as Troll 3. I've seen it and I have no clue what it is about. Edit: Forgot one of my all time favorites: Vicious Lips. Its about a futuristic girl rock band in space. Every single scene has no relation to the previous scene. If you try to follow the plot you will have an aneurism. mds2 fucked around with this message at Feb 7, 2013 around 21:56 |
| # ? Feb 7, 2013 21:52 |
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I have a soft spot for Santa with Muscles. A premise so bizarre, you just accept it and enjoy the stupidity.
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 21:57 |
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Battlefield Earth was the first time I watched and movie and went "this is...BAD! Why am I wasting my time". The best way I can describe this movie is to paraphrase what Roger Ebert said when he called it bad in a hostile kind of way. The movie seems to make a deliberate and conscious effort to ensure the audience finds no enjoyment in the film by denying cohesion or logic. I think I'll use this scene to illustrate. The sound for some reason is out of sync in this video; don't know if it's the clip or if the movie was like that (it's been a while) but it's purely a visual thing and you'll know it when you see it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wM7NvGzyfF0
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 22:03 |
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Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter: A good favorite. Jesus partners with a Luchador to take down lesbian vampires. Nightmare City: A balls-to-the-wall violent zombie movie. Crazy poo poo starts very quickly and doesn't let up. Hard Rock Zombies: Zombies, Rock and Roll, and Hitler. Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare: Metal band versus hell. Intercessor: Another Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare: Unlike Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare, this movie is unbelievably terrible. It's a must watch though just to see how bad a movie can be. And it makes the original Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare look like loving gold by comparison. I can only hope the third movie in the trilogy ends up being made. Lawlicaust fucked around with this message at Feb 7, 2013 around 22:17 |
| # ? Feb 7, 2013 22:11 |
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Oh man, Dragon Wars - D Wars is pretty much in the top ten of unapologetically bad and loving it films.
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 22:29 |
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Laser Mission, starring Brandon Lee and Ernest Borgnine, is my favorite movie featuring the kicking of a man onto a guillitine.
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 22:34 |
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Birdemic: SHOCK AND TERROR http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE5dJDgZ644 Feels like I'm cheating.
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 22:54 |
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Flyin Ryan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcXjNwbm8pc
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 22:59 |
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Science Crazed You've never seen anything like it. I promise you. Was filmed in the late 80s in Canada, but didn't get VHS release until the 90s - and with good reason. It's bad on an epic scale, with scenes that run 5-10 minutes of people just staring at each other. A crazed scientist creates a "fiend" that walks and walks and walks.. everyone is dubbed, and there's more padding than content. I've been trying to track down the director, as this thing deserves serious rediscovery as a cult item. The whole thing is out there on YouTube (there's no official post-VHS release), but this clip will give you some idea of what you're in for. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKnraPgmBlw And then there's Hip Hop Locos For my money, the worst film ever made. I'm not talking Ed Wood or Tommy Wiseau or BEST WORST MOVIE level. I'm talking completely unwatchable, and that's why it's so fascinating. Two Latino rappers go on a crime spree to support their developing music career. That's the entire plot. There's an eight minute scene of a character getting choked while another guy just screams "CHOKE HIM! CHOKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER!" over and over again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwH_VUtxcNo And then there's the work of Todd Sheets. Nightmare Asylum, Goblin, Zombie Rampage. All of it gold.
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 23:05 |
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12 posts and no mention of Nicolas Cage's The Wicker Man? gently caress you, goons. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo 90 minutes of Cage staring at objects when he should be acting, shouting about things being burnt, punching and pointing guns at women, and this is where the infamous BEEEEEEEEEEEES meme came from. The Rifftrax is really funny, but the movie is just poo poo from beginning to end. It tries to be a horror movie, but just ends up being a comedy, and then a chore to sit through.
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 23:11 |
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My favourite bad movie of all time is Deadly Prey. Colonel Hogan is training mercenaries by getting them to hunt the deadliest prey in "the depths of a steaming jungle." One day they kidnap the wrong dude and end up with Mike Danton, a killing machine trained by Colonel Hogan himself. Take off...your shirt.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CScyXlIMCU Godfrey Ho films are a special kind of bad. I always liked Ninja Squad for them berating a main character for not being able to get a job because "All he has are his ninja skills." but Ninja Terminator is great for menacing crabs and Garfield telephones. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvbfWLQjsdE
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 23:15 |
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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnEJrwYXXsI Not pictured: the worlds least convincing polar bear costume.
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 23:21 |
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OrangeKing posted:Miami Connection  oh my god
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| # ? Feb 7, 2013 23:47 |
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Sure, we've all heard of Asylum films, but have you seen 2012: Ice Age? If not, please do, it's on Netflix. This movie has so much stuff that will make you pause and go "that's not how it works!" along with incredibly bad CGI and just plain briliant performances from everyone. It is definitely a fun film to watch and is not so bad that you won't even enjoy it. I don't think the movies are on netflix anymore but everyone should also try to see the Trancers series. It's absolute Grade-A action movie cheese that gets weirder and weirder as it goes. Tim Thomerson (who is one of the best bad actors I've seen) plays Jack Deth, the cop with the greatest name ever. Here's the trailer to the second movie. It spoils the whole thing basically, though. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6YTPF5Tnl4
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 00:11 |
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Dr. Witherbone posted:
Miami Connection is in a class of its own. Movies like The Room and Birdemic are funny movies to riff on, but Miami Connection will have you in stitches with absolutely no accompaniment. Similar to Troll 2, I think the largest contributor to this film's insanity is that the script was written by a man with a very, very loose grasp of the English language. It makes every scene of dialogue completely surreal as the actors deliver these absolutely batshit lines with as much earnestness as they can muster. I was lucky enough to see a screening of this movie where its creator, Y.K. Kim, came out to speak beforehand. He's actually a very cool guy, and in his defense he seems completely aware of what a hilariously terrible movie he's made, which is more than can be said of a lot of bad filmmakers. Watch it with your buddies and you'll be quoting it endlessly. "Oh, ninjas."
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 00:26 |
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I'm shocked no one has mentioned Showgirls. When my best friend and I were 13 or so, Titanic had just come out and like every other preteen girl we were obsessed with it. She asked her parents to buy it for her for Christmas. Titanic being sold out everywhere, her parents figured she wouldn't be able to tell the difference as long as the movie had a boat in it so they picked up this masterpiece from the bargain bin:  My buddy told me she cried when she opened it. It is one of the stupidest and most absurd movies I've ever seen. One scene even features Jim Cumming as a tobacco chewing cupcake. The special effects are also spectacularly low-rent. It all worked out though because this movie went on to become the backdrop to many of our  sessions throughout high school.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 01:09 |
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Probably  http://i.imgur.com/SCOFV33.jpg Antfarm Dickhole -more terrible than you can imagine. If you have a Roku box, it can be found on a free channel called Midnight Pulp. That channel is filled with all sorts of terrible movies. The trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAoSBRQsWXg me your dad fucked around with this message at Feb 8, 2013 around 01:38 |
| # ? Feb 8, 2013 01:18 |
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Phisty posted:I'm shocked no one has mentioned Showgirls. "These pipes... are CLEAN!" Some friends and I were trying to decide between this and Naked Gun 33-1/3 one night and went with this one. I've never seen Naked Gun 33-1/3 so I have no idea if we got the better or worse end of the deal. The David Letterman cameo almost makes the whole thing worth it. Almost.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 03:44 |
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Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man. Yes, I own it on DVD.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 04:04 |
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me your dad posted:Probably From the director of the classic JESUS CHRIST: SERIAL RAPIST. Bill Zebub gets a lot of mileage out of shocking titles, but he's basically the Anal stinkyhole of no-budget cinema. I've talked to some of the actors who've worked on ANTFARM DICKHOLE, and they all said it was a great experience - too bad none of that fun ended up on the screen.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 04:55 |
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Mine has to be Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, a classic movie about the epic struggles between man and tomato. To this day, I can't tell how much of it is parody (all of it), and how much is just being a terrible film, but I love it all the same. But you can't really argue with a movie that has this as a theme song.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 05:52 |
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Thankskilling: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOjSRoxc6mg Zombie Strippers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVkQCDfIe38
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 06:02 |
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My personal anti-favourite was a thing called Satan's Storybook which I happened to rent on video way back in 1990. It was an attempt at a horror anthology movie with a framing story, sort of Creepshow-ish, I guess. I instantly formed a (completely wrong) theory that the movie was supposed to be a cheap porno, but the director had found Jesus the night before (probably while being drunk and/or high and watching a TV preacher) and decided to make a "scare them straight" horror movie instead, using the talent and funds he had at hand. I later found out that the only professional actor involved was, in fact, a porn star (Ginger Lynn Allen) trying to break into mainstream movies. This was so very much not the movie to do that with. There was some bullshit about a good ninja dressed in white trying to prevent the birth of the Anti-Christ or some crap like that. gently caress, it's been over 20 years, and I'm still wasting brain cells remembering that this movie even existed. Youtube seems to have no clips of the drat thing (and why would there be?), only this one review (which is in Spanish, a language I do not understand): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNsrXkOgwBY Groke fucked around with this message at Feb 8, 2013 around 06:06 |
| # ? Feb 8, 2013 06:02 |
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 Computer Beach Party has it all. Using the good ol' "Uncle's beach house plot #12" They have to throw a party to save the beach house from unsavory developers looking for buried treasure. The two protagonists (nerdy guy and wise cracking frat guy) use a computer to invite hotties to the party. However, this was 1986-87 so the idea was a little ahead of its time. "Everything we have here is ours now." The dialogue is ghastly. The dialogue, if memory serves is all dubbed. The actual plot accounts for only about 25-30 minutes, the remaining 45 minutes is taken up by montages of beach scenes, riding around in a jeep and chicks in bikinis dancing. The soundtrack is entirely made up of horrible HORRIBLE hair metal music by the band PANTHER. DOZENS of Panther songs. This is one long video for a hair metal band nobody had ever heard of before or since. Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip4jakjxm0A Panther - Hot Rockin Beach Party http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFeNTVi79s8
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 06:09 |
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:"These pipes... are CLEAN!" You got the worse end. Naked Gun 33 and 1/3rd is hilarious. "Hey! You call this slop? Real slop has got chunks in it! This is more like gruel! And this Château le Blanc '68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled! This is room temperature! What do you think we are, animals? "
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 06:10 |
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My favorite lovely movie is Sleepaway Camp. It's one half hilariously bad Meatballs ripoff, one half crappily made slasher flick. And the the last two minutes will blow your loving mind. A super fan has kindly uploaded the entire thing to YouTube, I highly recommend. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePkcsSvnu0I
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 07:17 |
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I have a soft spot for riki oh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lbzbyg3olQI The whole movie appears to be up on youtube by the way
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 07:32 |
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Tokelau All Star posted:My favorite lovely movie is Sleepaway Camp. Oh, man, you win the thread. I forgot about Sleepaway Camp. My favorite parts (aside from that  ending, which I'd forgotten), are the curling iron in the vagina and the body on the barbecue.Ichi the Killer was also pretty awful/awesome. Maggie Fletcher fucked around with this message at Feb 8, 2013 around 19:18 |
| # ? Feb 8, 2013 07:34 |
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This thread needs a lot more Lorenzo Lamas starting now (but then again, does ANY thread have enough Lorenzo Lamas?).  Bounty Tracker I haven't seen this one in a few years, but most of the awful things about it that I remember is all dialogue. Cheesy fight scenes, corny villains, and a pretty silly boxart when you consider the fact that Cyndi Pass is one of the main villains in the movie. And that's not a twist or anything. She's cast as the main villain from the start, but I guess they wanted her on the box doing a buddy cop pose with LL. Go figure.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 11:57 |
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Manos99 posted:From the director of the classic JESUS CHRIST: SERIAL RAPIST. They're about on level with a high school movie project, as quality is concerned. I've also seen Bikini Bloodbath Carwash and Bloodfart Lake, with the former tolerable only because of tits, and the latter almost unwatchable due to the 'acting' and characters.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 12:47 |
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Boy you don't know what you just did. Karma Police A lumpy-faced man discovered that there is a secret group of people who "reward" good people with gifts while "punishing" bad people by making them lose their jobs and such. It looks like it was shot on a camera phone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yot3qkqIItc Haunted Boat does what it says on the tine. Oh, and with a whole ton of really basic, dumb "philosophical" conversations. And it looks like it was filmed on a camera phone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MG2t4Cpjh4 Fatal Deviation Only the best Irish martial arts movie around (well, starring a member of boyzone anyway)! Such good camera work for an old phone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX4td1XCkP0
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 13:11 |
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Phisty posted:I'm shocked no one has mentioned Showgirls. I laugh my rear end off at the cupcake every time. And if I ever buy I boat she will be named The Filthy Whore.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 13:25 |
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OrangeKing posted:I wrote a book on this topic, but two favorites I didn't put in there that I discovered in the last few months are Samurai Cop and Miami Connection. That is really cool that you wrote a book, I'm going to pick it up. I love terrible movies and used to host a "terrible film festival". I want to see Miami Connection but I can not find it anywhere.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 13:27 |
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I'm supposed to be sleeping so I'll keep this short. Y'all need to be educated about the ultimate micro-genre: shot-on-video sleaze horror. Most movies of this type were made in the late 80s-early 90s, right when camcorders were coming into the norm. All of them are no-budget and made by amateurs. Think along the lines of American Movie except with less talent and lower production values. The absolute kings of this genre were the Polonia brothers, a pair of dorky weirdos with no shame and awesome glasses. Their first effort, and by far my favorite, is Splatter Farm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB6AjkkG5s0 Famous for reveling in its taboos and basically being incredible. Another standout SOV film hails from Canada. Made by two gross friends (who also star, Things is a phenomenal evil-ants-gone-wild movie and homage to Tony Iommi. Here's the full trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiqSuC8KkNU Things has an amazing hypnotic quality to it. The music is so poorly inserted, and the acting and editing are so off-kilter that it kind of sucks you in. Watch it drunk, as loud as possible, with people trying to sleep in the room. I would be remiss if I didn't bring up one of my all time favorite films, Exterminator City: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMz1Bv-OMTQ Just watch it. Buy it and watch it, always.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 13:32 |
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It's not quite on the level of The Room or Birdemic, but one of my favorite terrible movies is Iron Horsemen. It's just really bizzarre. It's a Finnish film, shot entirely in Finland, which is supposed to take place in 1960s California (which looks nothing like Finland) about a biker named Bad Trip being chased by his former gang, who are cannibals or something. The actors appear to be speaking a mixture of English and Finnish with about half of them dubbed over. I guess it's supposed to be a parody, but it's not really funny at all which leaves you wondering which aspects of it are meant to be taken seriously. Also, there are several scenes that are clearly supposed to have background music which are just completely silent. There's even music listed in the credits. Apparently they just pressed the DVD without any actual music. Also, Jim Jarmusch is in it for some reason. If you want to be alternately entertained and bewildered then Iron Horsemen is probably for you.
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 13:36 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 10:33 |
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The best worst movie ever made is Street trash. It's a movie about some homeless people who find some old rear end liquor bottle that causes whoever drank it to melt. It's absolutely hilarious to watch when drunk or stoned. You can find the whole thing on youtube. There's even some crazy rear end alpha-homeless douche king who spend his time rattling the bones of the other homeless people. Who can save the day? Just watch this video of some hobo melting into a toilet, you WILL want to watch this movie. It's seriously in my top 10 movies ever made. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qP3Tx19w7c
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| # ? Feb 8, 2013 14:09 |
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