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angerbot
Mar 23, 2004


plob


I don't know what the heck it is but I guess it's more or less a big cellphone you can play cellphone games on like bejewelled

Anyways hi please talk about your weird thing here

Maybe I'll ban you, maybe not??

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1stGear
Jan 16, 2010

What?


hyphz posted:

I've been scanning the thread for these too, as I had actually been interested in the OUYA before reading this, so I'll try..

1. The fan doesn't blow the hot air out of the vents.
2. The company mismanaged its stock so badly that it is now impossible to know whether you'll get a retail or backer version no matter how you buy.
3. They didn't think through hardware internationalization at all and nearly had shipments of Ouyas destroyed for not meeting international safety mark standards.
4. .. And they marked their international backer shipments as gifts because they think customs are stupid enough to not notice something is wrong with 20+ identical gifts sent at once from a corporate address, thus making their customers obliged to pay a penal duty top up.
5. The customer service doesn't exist. The only way to get a reply is to tweet publically about the problem, but it won't be a helpful reply.
6. It's meant to be open but it HDCPs the output.
7. It's meant to be open but it has no recovery mode and thus can be permanently bricked.
8. It's meant to be open but it requires an Internet connection and a credit card number to even boot it up.
9. The analog sticks don't return their positions properly.
10. In attempting to fix 9 the developers made so many changes that it's now impossible to tune the controls of a game because a different console/controller might be returning different values for the same motion. Tuning the controls of a game is incredibly important.
11. The buttons on the controller can get stuck under the faceplate.
12. It uses its own download service, which is glitchy and slow.
13. It uses its own download service, which doesn't have much content on it.
14. They claimed they wanted to solve the problem of indie channels being unprofitable because they are flooded with crap, but did absolutely nothing to try to solve this.
15. ... So their channel is flooded with crap.
16. ... And most of the good games are already available on mobile phones.
17. ... And the ones that aren't are 4-player local multiplayer, but the console only comes with 1 controller. Another 3 will cost you $150, giving a total price of $250, for which you could buy a 360.
18. There's no password entry or anything for the in app purchases, so if a game can trick you into mashing buttons it can pop up the purchase screen partway through and have you OK it with a button press before you even notice anything.
19. It's based on the free to play model which has a low conversion rate,
20. It advertises itself as budget and cheap, and it's not good business to develop a game for a console aimed at people who don't have any money.
21. It advertises itself by its ability to run illegal emulators.
22. They ran their demo in the parking lot outside E3.
23. The unofficial forum admin accidentally included a hentai link in their sample development screenshot.
24. .. And Ouya themselves included the word "redtube" on their official twitter feed.
25. They're going to update it every year, causing massive platform fragmentation.
26. ... And potentially making it the most expensive console available year-on-year.
27. Amazing Frog.

And not forgetting..

28. It's just a box that runs Android games on a TV.

(23-24 above are not jokes. The original 23-24 were but I've replaced those.)




Please rename to "The Continuing Breakdown of XboxPants"

Somebody fucked around with this message at Jul 2, 2013 around 18:30

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004


plob


Is it like OOOH YEAH or Oooo Yeah or what

ZenMasterBullshit
Nov 2, 2011

What is the sound of one hand laying down the sickest beat?


angerbot posted:

Is it like OOOH YEAH or Oooo Yeah or what

It's O as is Ouef and U as in shut and Ya as in Ya

OooUhYay

Liquid Penguins
Feb 18, 2006

sproink~


angerbot posted:

Is it like OOOH YEAH or Oooo Yeah or what

like this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG_6CopW9GQ

can you embed on this page?

Farecoal
Oct 15, 2011

???


This will revolutionize cellphone-gaming-console-Android technology, an up and coming field in electronics today, in fact, I have a proposal for a portable neckbeard gaming console

Edit: I always thought it was Oy-yuh

Shalinor
Jun 10, 2002

Can I buy you a rootbeer?


What does one need for an XboxPants summoning ritual? I've got some black candles and a record that says "consoles are dead" if you spin it backwards.

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005

"thats pretty much it, we all got high, it was sweet you should of been there"
"god damnt knuckles, your plan didn't do anything"


If that controller works on the PC for $50 a dual analog controller with a touchpad seems like a pretty good controller, definitely a viable alternative to a wired 360 controller.

And $100 for a home theater PC (assuming XBMC or something similar winds up on it) also seems pretty awesome.

It seems pretty likely at this point that it will exist as an actual physical product, so I still don't see why there is so much goonrage. It's being hyped as some sort of Xbox-Killer moreso than it really is, but if you compare it to a Raspberry Pi or something it seems pretty reasonable.

e:I believe the name is pronounced as if you were the Kool-Aid man.

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004


plob


What number do I dial on my phone for the oooyeah

Cantorsdust
Aug 9, 2008

Infinitely many points, but zero length.

I read in YOSPOS that they plan to iterate it as better technology comes available at the $100 price point. So there will be an OUYA 2, 3, etc. Meaning we might get a repeat of this thread in a year or two. Oh yeah!

ZenMasterBullshit
Nov 2, 2011

What is the sound of one hand laying down the sickest beat?


Shalinor posted:

What does what need for an XboxPants summoning ritual? I've got some black candles and a record that says "consoles are dead" if you spin it backwards.

If you quote a post of his and say he got something wrong three times in front of a shiny android phone he will show up to apologize and edit his post.

cat doter
Jul 27, 2006

it's true, we do

angerbot posted:

What number do I dial on my phone for the oooyeah

dial s for poo poo heh

Shalinor
Jun 10, 2002

Can I buy you a rootbeer?


Sigma-X posted:

It seems pretty likely at this point that it will exist as an actual physical product, so I still don't see why there is so much goonrage. It's being hyped as some sort of Xbox-Killer moreso than it really is, but if you compare it to a Raspberry Pi or something it seems pretty reasonable.
I'm actually cautiously optimistic at this point. It has good retail partners, and their yearly plan addresses the obsolescence problem. If the device actually catches on, it could be a cute little platform. Though I still think the GameDock is a better product, and that something that turns your cellphone into a mini-console is the actual future device to fill this niche.

Scrub-Niggurath
Nov 27, 2007

Fuck you, got Midas

How has the OUYA addressed the problems of not having any decent games that I can't just get on steam big picture and the whole "the console will be totally open to users with a root button, but I'm sure no games will be pirated" thing.

Scrub-Niggurath fucked around with this message at Feb 9, 2013 around 05:41

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004


plob


Requested_Username posted:

How has the OUYA addressed the problems of not having any decent games that I can't just get on steam big picture and the whole "the console will be totally open to users with a root button, but I'm sure no games will be pirated" thing.

Well I'm no games expert but probably by SHUT UP

Q-sixtysix
Jun 4, 2005



Cantorsdust posted:

I read in YOSPOS that they plan to iterate it as better technology comes available at the $100 price point. So there will be an OUYA 2, 3, etc. Meaning we might get a repeat of this thread in a year or two. Oh yeah!

heh, I'll just root my OUYA and upgrade it for free! Your move, Urhman

e:

OUYA posted:

Ouya developers should be in for a relatively simple approval process for submitted games, CEO Julie Uhrman tells our friends at Engadget. Once games are submitted, they will be checked for "intellectual property infringement, and malware, and excessive pornography," says Uhrman. "Ultimately it's a quick review and you're in the storefront in one capacity or another."

What determines "excessive", I wonder? Don't kinkshame, Julie

Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005

"thats pretty much it, we all got high, it was sweet you should of been there"
"god damnt knuckles, your plan didn't do anything"


Shalinor posted:

I'm actually cautiously optimistic at this point. It has good retail partners, and their yearly plan addresses the obsolescence problem. If the device actually catches on, it could be a cute little platform. Though I still think the GameDock is a better product, and that something that turns your cellphone into a mini-console is the actual future device to fill this niche.

I think it is absolutely laughable as a gaming platform. There is nothing it does better than any existing platform, and I'm counting tablets and phones among its competitors.

I think the hardware itself is interesting, and their desire to make it open and hackable means that it actually has potential to be a useful living room device. a $100 box with a wireless controller and all the power of my cellphone seems like more than enough to be a netflix/youtube/twitch.tv box. Rokus sell, and they aren't as functional, near as I can tell.

Mercury Crusader
Apr 20, 2005

Nice to meet ya, hee ho!

SixtySix posted:

heh, I'll just root my OUYA and upgrade it for free! Your move, Urhman

Does the OUYA still have that "Root" button for easy rooting?

cat doter
Jul 27, 2006

it's true, we do

Someone needs to make a small wireless streaming box that can pipe out h264 compressed video from a source like a computer to a TV. Basically what that Nvidia shield thing is but not in a dumb handheld thing. Who cares about some dumb android console.

I mean, not that I hate the ouya or anything, if there's any decent games I'll probably get one, but doesn't seem very likely at the moment. But it's cheap so whatever.

Dr. VooDoo
May 4, 2006

O, for a muse of fire

Last thing I watched of the Ouya was those dev system unboxing videos and the incredible sound of buyers remorse that slowly crept into the video creator's voice when the realized just how cheap it felt in their hands

Arro
Mar 31, 2010


SixtySix posted:

heh, I'll just root my OUYA and upgrade it for free! Your move, Urhman

e:


What determines "excessive", I wonder? Don't kinkshame, Julie

It is so it can still have "fantastic" games like Rocket Girl

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012


Oh god I was salivating for a new OUYA thread ever since I saw the latest.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-10797_3-5...ole-every-year/

quote:

"Our plan is to have a yearly refresh of Ouya where we leverage the best-performing chips and take advantage of falling component prices to create the best experience we can at the $99 price point," Uhrman told The Verge.

Buy a new console every year! That won't run into any production problems at all! We'll make so much money on our marketplace that it won't be an issue.

edit: Is there a way to make it so XboxPants is required to post in this thread at least once every 24 hours? That was the sole point of the last OUYA thread.

TOOT BOOT
May 25, 2010



Do they think the fact that console generations are 5-10 years long is some kind of oversight or something?

nightchild12
Jan 8, 2005
hi i'm sexy

cat doter posted:

Someone needs to make a small wireless streaming box that can pipe out h264 compressed video from a source like a computer to a TV. Basically what that Nvidia shield thing is but not in a dumb handheld thing. Who cares about some dumb android console.

I mean, not that I hate the ouya or anything, if there's any decent games I'll probably get one, but doesn't seem very likely at the moment. But it's cheap so whatever.

Like Apple TV?

coffeetable
Feb 5, 2006


TOOT BOOT posted:

Do they think the fact that console generations are 5-10 years long is some kind of oversight or something?

Apparently the Android app ecosystem is one to be admired.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012


TOOT BOOT posted:

Do they think the fact that console generations are 5-10 years long is some kind of oversight or something?

You don't understand, they need to ROOT every app for it to work.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.


I don't know about you guys, but I'm really sticking it to the man by buying lovely electronics.

Arro
Mar 31, 2010


pentyne posted:

Oh god I was salivating for a new OUYA thread ever since I saw the latest.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-10797_3-5...ole-every-year/


Buy a new console every year! That won't run into any production problems at all! We'll make so much money on our marketplace that it won't be an issue.

edit: Is there a way to make it so XboxPants is required to post in this thread at least once every 24 hours? That was the sole point of the last OUYA thread.

Well that is going to be a fantastic thing for devs when they have to make sure it runs on most versions of android and then on most versions of ouya or are they just going to stop supporting the outdated consoles when a new one is released?

Dr. VooDoo
May 4, 2006

O, for a muse of fire

Arro posted:

Well that is going to be a fantastic thing for devs when they have to make sure it runs on most versions of android and then on most versions of ouya or are they just going to stop supporting the outdated consoles when a new one is released?

You're talking like they have a real plan and not just making up poo poo as they go along. Business and life cycle plans are for the tyrants of the consoles. Ouya is all about small indie devs and sticking it to big publishing houses by being able to make free games and being open source (note: only demos can be free and it's not really open source)

coffeetable
Feb 5, 2006


quote:

Double Fine Adventure Backer Update

We also recently worked out a very exciting deal: [DFA] is coming to Ouya, the upcoming Android-based console that had its own big Kickstarter last year. Lots of our fans have requested this, but we weren't able to commit to it until now. We've worked out a deal with the makers of Ouya that will actually result in some extra money for the [DFA] budget, so it worked out well all around. We're also planning on bringing The Cave, our most recent release, to the system. We'll have more details about this down the road.

I think we missed an important point when we were discussing who in the hell would make software for OUYA: computer game developers are by and large exactly the kind of idiot nerd that would consider the OUYA a good idea.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

Shalinor posted:

What does one need for an XboxPants summoning ritual? I've got some black candles and a record that says "consoles are dead" if you spin it backwards.

The ritual isn't supposed to be performed until March! You fools, you'll ruin everything!!!

TOOT BOOT posted:

Do they think the fact that console generations are 5-10 years long is some kind of oversight or something?

Haven't you heard, consoles are dead and OUYA is bringing gaming back to the TV!


Or if Android is a requirement, Google TV.

I can't speak for Apple TV but I can stream video from my media PC on my GTV box, it can even connect through Windows shares.
vvvv

raditts fucked around with this message at Feb 9, 2013 around 06:40

cat doter
Jul 27, 2006

it's true, we do


Can it stream from your PC or just idevices or whatever? I might actually buy an apple thing if so.

coffeetable posted:

I think we missed an important point when we were discussing who in the hell would make software for OUYA: computer game developers are by and large exactly the kind of idiot nerd that would consider the OUYA a good idea.

It's a games console, if game companies are 'dumb enough' to think it's a good idea, doesn't it actually become a good idea? The only thing that matters is the games, and if it gets good games then who cares if the idea behind it isn't exactly robust.

cat doter fucked around with this message at Feb 9, 2013 around 06:40

illiniguy01
Feb 19, 2011

Sweat, Ubu. Sweat. Good paranoid schizophrenic.


Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft must be kicking themselves for not coming up with the idea for yearly consoles.

Neurolimal
Nov 3, 2012

cheesy anime pizza undresses you with pepperoni eyes

coffeetable posted:

I think we missed an important point when we were discussing who in the hell would make software for OUYA: computer game developers are by and large exactly the kind of idiot nerd that would consider the OUYA a good idea.

DFA was already going to be available on the android, and since the Ouya is basically just a poorly made android non-phone connected to a TV, it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that they'd jump at the prospect of being paid to make a slightly modified version of the android port.

Yechezkel
Oct 5, 2004



illiniguy01 posted:

Nintendo ... must be kicking themselves for not coming up with the idea for yearly consoles.

They've already cornered the yearly handheld models.

The White Dragon
Nov 14, 2007

a dragon that is
uh

Shalinor posted:

What does one need for an XboxPants summoning ritual? I've got some black candles and a record that says "consoles are dead" if you spin it backwards.
Unless those black candles are licorice-scented, not gonna work. Bacon-scented ones work best, obviously. You place the candles at the points of a pizza sauce hexagram and chant Ouya backwards for like an hour (you have to pronounce it right, but I pronounce it ojə, which is apparently wrong, so I've never gotten this to work myself).

If you did it correctly, he'll appear. He doesn't grant wishes or anything, though, unless your wish was that you wanted to hear him ask where the bacon/licorice/rest of the pizza sauce is.

TheGreatGildersneeze
Feb 24, 2001
My passive aggressive shilling for Microsoft has gone beyond weird obsession levels. I have no attachment to reality outside of my feelings for a plastic box. I should shut my fat fucking mouth and stop trying to do PR for a billion dollar corp

raditts posted:

Haven't you heard, consoles are dead and OUYA is bringing gaming back to the TV!
Wait, what was I just playing Halo on earlier tonight? God dammit, I'm so confused.

Ralp
Aug 19, 2004

be the change you want to see in the forums

I always read it as OUAT at first and think people are discussing the ABC television show "Once Upon A Time". I've never heard of OUYA outside of the something awful forums.

AxeManiac
Nov 13, 2000

Always Drinking

Important OUYA updates:

YEARLY UPDATES: http://www.gamesindustry.biz/articl...annual-releases

"As it relates to iterating the console and refreshes, our strategy is very much similar to the mobile strategy. There will be a new Ouya every year," Uhrman told Joystiq

OUYA only way to play Double Fine Adventure game on a TV (not counting multiple ways to play pc games on a tv) http://kotaku.com/5982318/ouya-will...-ouya-boss-says

"Uhrman said Ouya would provide the only TV experience for the game" "A Double Fine rep says that Schafer's game, codenamed Reds, will count the Ouya as its only TV console on launch day. That seems to leave it open to come to other consoles after launch. But the rep says the studio currently has no plans for other console releases"

OUYA available on Amazon now, hook us up AmazonTony! http://www.amazon.com/OUYA-Console-.../dp/B0050SZD18/

Amazon claims "OUYA is about the size of a Rubik's cube, but it plays hard in full-screen HD".

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Mercury Crusader
Apr 20, 2005

Nice to meet ya, hee ho!

AxeManiac posted:

Amazon claims "OUYA is about the size of a Rubik's cube, but it plays hard in full-screen HD".

When it says it "plays hard", does that mean it has a hard time playing video games?

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