The Amazing Race 22 E-Penis Game - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The TV IV > The Amazing Race 22 E-Penis Game

Poque: Sep 11, 2003; This is gonna be fun!
Or else!

Amazing Race E-Penis returns!

How does it work?
Each week, there will be questions regarding the upcoming episode of The Amazing Race. They will often have to do with eliminations, participations in roadblocks, distributions of detours, and the episode title quote. There will also always be a creative question that is something silly like an MSPaint or a haiku. It's meant to be easy, free points. As locations are almost always spoiled, the questions will never deal with where the teams will be traveling. Participate as much or as little as you want - there's no obligation to participate every week if you don't want. It's meant to be fun!

The rules and details!

If you're spoiled for the season, please don't participate! I can't enforce this, obviously, but it makes you an assbutt, so don't do it!
All guesses must be in before 8:00pm EASTERN TIME on Sunday - this will be enforced regardless of your time zone and regardless of whether or not the episode starts on time. No football this season!
I will review answers prior to the start of the episode as best I can, and if there are any invalid answers, I will try to let you know. No guarantees!
The first week's point total will be 100 points. Each following week, the points will increase by 10, and it will double for the final episode.
Situations cannot take place during the Previouslies, nor can they take place during the preview for the impending episode. Essentially, anything post-credits and pre-"Executive Producer".
If there are any questions that cannot be answered for a leg, then EVERYONE gets the points!
In the event of a To Be Continued leg, the results for the first half of the leg will be postponed until all televised teams have reached the midpoint (typically an appearance by Phil, or at least the envelope specifically saying that the leg isn't over). The second half will be treated as a separate leg.
Eliminations are only in the Returner contest. Everyone is eligible to play weekly in the Open contest!

What kind of delicious prizes can I earn?

Open: The grand prize is awarded to the participant with the highest number of points at the end of the season.
Open: An additional prize will be awarded to the winner of the most legs through the season, granted they differ from the grand prize winner. You must have at least two weeks won to qualify. Ties not broken, so it's likely that anyone who wins two weeks will get a prize!
Open: Another prize will go to the highest-scoring person in the final leg who has participated in at least all but one of the episodes.
Returner: Finally, the winner of the Returner Contest will win a prize as well.

You can expect the grand prize to be some sort of race-related avatar, most likely something silly Phil does during the season, as long as the winner wants it. Other prize options include forum certificates and the like.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Returner Contest!
The second contest will be open only to the top participants from last season who want to participate this season. They will be treated as teams from the Amazing Race. Since we are beginning with eleven teams in the actual season, eleven participants from last season will make up the race. They will compete week after week, and depending on how teams actually fare in the show (eliminations, non-eliminated, etc), they will continue to go on. There are rules below for U-Turns, Yields, and Non-Elimination penalties. Overall point totals will not matter in this situation - only week-over-week results!

At the end of every episode, the contestant pool will be weeded down to the number of remaining teams on the show. The contestant with the lowest point total will be eliminated from the Returner Contest.
If there is a tie for last place, none of the tied contestants will be eliminated. However, they will be marked for elimination in the next episode - that elimination will be reserved for the participant who next finishes lowest between them. For example: If contestants A and B finish tied for last in episode 1, they will both participate in episode 2 but the lowest finisher of the two of them will be eliminated, regardless of placement. If A finished #1 and B finishes #2, B will be eliminated. If episode 2 is also an elimination episode, whoever finishes last in that episode will be eliminated as well. If multiple ties exist at once, earlier episodes take precedence.
The participant(s) that places last in a non-elimination episode will incur a 10 point penalty on the next episode.
The winner of a leg that features a Yield or U-Turn gets to apply that to a participant in the next leg if they so wish, regardless of whether or not it was used in the show. Like in the show, a team can only use this once in the race, and this will apply a 10 point penalty to the participant of their choice. This cannot be used on the final leg. If multiple participants are tied for first, whoever was ahead at the end of the previous leg will get this power.
The winner of a leg that features an Express Pass as a prize will get a 10-point bonus in the leg of their choice. As in the actual show, it must be used by the eighth leg (including to-be-continued legs). If the contestant doesn't elect to use it, it will be automatically applied in the eighth leg.
The winner of a leg that features a Fast Forward gets a 10-point bonus in the next leg, provided the next leg isn't the final leg. If multiple participants are tied for first, they all get the bonus.

We'll need 11 participants. Here are the top 16 finishers from last season:

code:

R to the J		Out.
HUMAN FISH		Confirmed!
ManDingo		Confirmed!
Nexal			Confirmed!
Monkeyspit		Confirmed!
MrDingleDangle		Confirmed!
MisterZimbu		Confirmed!
withheldmcfakename	Confirmed!
Kloaked00		Confirmed!
Poque			Out.
macnbc			Confirmed!
Donny Brook		Confirmed!
SteveVizsla		Confirmed!
Big Taint		Wait list...
Toast			Wait list...
pen0r			Hoping...

Poque fucked around with this message at Feb 17, 2013 around 23:32

# ? Feb 11, 2013 04:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 19, 2013 21:13

cbservo: Dec 26, 2009; This is our logo. We're the Lakers. What's our mascot? What do you mean? Please. Our mascot is Kobe Bryant's middle finger. What's that? You've noticed that some idiot decided that one of our primary colors should be purple? You think that's kind of gay? Let me refer you to our mascot. Fuck you.

Nothing to see here.

cbservo fucked around with this message at Feb 11, 2013 around 04:46

# ? Feb 11, 2013 04:42

Kloaked00: Jun 21, 2005; I was sitting in my office on that drizzly afternoon listening to the monotonous staccato of rain on my desk and reading my name on the glass of my office door: regnaD kciN

In Like Flint

# ? Feb 11, 2013 04:55

MrDingleDangle: Apr 15, 2005; Wait...What?

Oh I am so in...I need to reclaim my title

# ? Feb 11, 2013 05:06

SteveVizsla: Mar 18, 2009; Why do I always want to sock it to you so hard?

Poque posted:

code:

rtothej			Awaiting a response
HUMAN FISH		Awaiting a response
ManDingo		Awaiting a response
Nexal			Awaiting a response
Monkeyspit		Awaiting a response
MrDingleDangle		Awaiting a response
MisterZimbu		Awaiting a response
withheldmcfakename	Awaiting a response
Kloaked00		Confirmed!
Poque			Out.
macnbc			Awaiting a response
Donny Brook		Awaiting a response
SteveVizsla		Wait list�
Big Taint		Wait list�
Toast			Wait list�
pen0r			Wait list�

*fingers crossed*

# ? Feb 11, 2013 05:56

Nexal: Apr 21, 2010; Moby - Extreme ways

I am in!

# ? Feb 11, 2013 07:13

pen0r: May 28, 2004; I really DO heart to fart.

Well, I suppose I'm in if enough people drop out. I'll lose in the first episode you guys, I promise!

# ? Feb 11, 2013 08:08

withheldmcfakename: Oct 30, 2011; im starting to feel sad

Confirmed!

# ? Feb 11, 2013 09:26

HUMAN FISH: Jul 6, 2003; never seen the light of day

withheldmcfakename posted:

Confirmed!

Yeah sure why not.

# ? Feb 11, 2013 10:10

Monkeyspit: Mar 4, 2004; The fact is: The fish got changed more often than the water

Looking forward to getting eliminated early from my first returner's game! I'm in!

# ? Feb 11, 2013 11:50

Fezz: Aug 31, 2001; You should feel ashamed.

I hope to not be so loving terrible this time.

# ? Feb 11, 2013 12:47

paperchaseguy: Feb 21, 2002; Of course you know I have no target on my back.

Sign me up.

# ? Feb 11, 2013 12:53

macnbc: Dec 13, 2006; brb, time travelin'

I'm in! Hopefully I'll last longer than 1 leg in Returners this season...

# ? Feb 11, 2013 13:19

Donny Brook: Jul 23, 2007; Hello Ladies

In it to win it!

# ? Feb 11, 2013 16:46

MisterZimbu: Mar 13, 2006

I'm in for the returners contest.

# ? Feb 11, 2013 18:57

Poque: Sep 11, 2003; This is gonna be fun!
Or else!

I'm literally only waiting for the episode title quote to be released before submitting the questions. Hopefully it's out by the time I get home from work so I can get us going tonight! I'm gonna have so many PMs to send...I'm really hoping for a good turnout, so I think I'm going to send PMs to anybody who participated in at least eight legs in any one single season. In history. Let's make it crazy!

# ? Feb 11, 2013 19:17

Fezz: Aug 31, 2001; You should feel ashamed.

Pogue, don't put yourself out.

I seem to remember placing very highly in one, I think that's how I got platinum, but I can't remember. Hopefully since I participated in the last one, I won't be so drat rusty this time.

# ? Feb 11, 2013 19:59

Ghostpilot: Jun 21, 2007; Go west, young man.
Go west!

I'll always down for having more (e-) peen, especially after having to sit out last season.

Man, having so many shows coming back at once is a little overwhelming.

Also, happy ~~belated~~ birthday, Poque!

# ? Feb 11, 2013 22:08

HUMAN FISH: Jul 6, 2003; never seen the light of day

Ghostpilot posted:

Also, happy ~~belated~~ birthday, Poque!

Goongrats!

# ? Feb 11, 2013 22:17

Donny Brook: Jul 23, 2007; Hello Ladies

Ghostpilot posted:

Also, happy ~~belated~~ birthday, Poque!

I had no idea. Cheers mate.

Donny Brook fucked around with this message at Feb 12, 2013 around 00:50

# ? Feb 12, 2013 00:44

Trash Boat: Dec 28, 2012

I'm in. Glad that I finally get to participate in one of these now that I have an account.

# ? Feb 12, 2013 07:41

HUMAN FISH: Jul 6, 2003; never seen the light of day

Poque posted:

I'm literally only waiting for the episode title quote to be released before submitting the questions.

"Business in the front, party in the back."

# ? Feb 12, 2013 10:01

njbeachbum: Apr 14, 2005

Im in, another season of sucking at this game will bring me joy.

# ? Feb 12, 2013 12:33

macnbc: Dec 13, 2006; brb, time travelin'

HUMAN FISH posted:

"Business in the front, party in the back."

I thought you were kidding, so I looked it up. That's actually the title.

It's glorious.

# ? Feb 12, 2013 13:48

Poque: Sep 11, 2003; This is gonna be fun!
Or else!

HUMAN FISH posted:

"Business in the front, party in the back."

Excellent, I'll get the questions out tonight when I'm home from work.

And thanks all!

# ? Feb 12, 2013 18:23

ManDingo: Jun 1, 2001

Oh yes, I am surely in, can't wait.

# ? Feb 12, 2013 19:54

Poque: Sep 11, 2003; This is gonna be fun!
Or else!

Episode 1 - "Business in the Front, Party in the Back"

The rules and details!

If you're spoiled for the season, please don't participate! I can't enforce this, obviously, but it makes you an assbutt, so don't do it!
All guesses must be in before 8:00pm EASTERN TIME on Sunday - this will be enforced regardless of your time zone and regardless of whether or not the episode starts on time. Expect many, many football-related delays.
I will review answers prior to the start of the episode as best I can, and if there are any invalid answers, I will try to let you know. No guarantees!
The first week's point total will be 100 points. Each following week, the points will increase by 10, and it will double for the final episode.
Situations cannot take place during the Previouslies, nor can they take place during the preview for the impending episode. Essentially, anything post-credits and pre-"Executive Producer".
If there are any questions that cannot be answered for a leg, then EVERYONE gets the points!
In the event of a To Be Continued leg, the results for the first half of the leg will be postponed until all televised teams have reached the midpoint (typically an appearance by Phil, or at least the envelope specifically saying that the leg isn't over). The second half will be treated as a separate leg.
Eliminations are only in the Returner contest. Everyone is eligible to play weekly in the Open contest!

The Questions - Episode 1
1. (5 points) Which team will be the speaker of the episode title quote above? List two possibilities.
2. (10 points) Which team will finish the episode in first place? List two possibilities.
3. (10 points) Which team will finish the episode in last place? List two possibilities.
4. (8 points) Name a team that finishes the episode in the top 4. This answer cannot be the same as either of your answers for question 2.
5. (7 points) Name a team that finishes the episode in the middle 3.
6. (8 points) Name a team that finishes the episode in the bottom 4. This answer cannot be the same as either of your answers for question 3.
7. (5 points) Name the first team to be shown getting their airline tickets.
8. (5 points) Name a team to be the first to either the Roadblock or the Detour.
9. (5 points) Will the greeter at the pit stop be male or female?
10. (5 points) Will we see multiple teams at the pitstop at the same time?
11. (5 points) Will the pitstop prize be a vacation?
12. (10 points) Will Phil flash an eyebrow raise as the race begins?
13. (7 points) In their intros before the race begins, how many teams will use the word "underestimate"?
14. (10 points) MSPaint an ideal finish for the first episode (Description only for 5 points). Just a visual display, doesn't need to be MSPaint specifically, nor is it required to be any good.
Total: (100 points)

Please use the following template to submit your answers:
1. Two team names
2. Two team names
3. Two team names
4. One team name, not in answer 2
5. One team name
6. One team name, not in answer 3
7. One team name
8. One team name
9. Male/Female
10. Yes/No
11. Yes/No
12. Yes/No
13. Number
14. Drawing or short write-up

I'm not sure if adding those things to the template will just get in the way, but I figured I'd give it a shot for at least this week.

The options - yes, Phil is in play as a valid answer for episode title quotes:

# ? Feb 13, 2013 04:44

CommaToes: Dec 15, 2006; Yeah, she died, like, twenty minutes after that.

1. Chuck and Wynona; Bates and Anthony
2. Joey and Meghan; Mona and Beth
3. David and Connor; Pam and Winnie
4. Bates and Anthony
5. Jessica and John
6. Max and Katie
7. Mona and Beth
8. Joey and Meghan
9. Female
10. Yes
11. Yes
12. Yes
13. 3
14.

Maybe that zeppelin ride wasn't a good idea.

# ? Feb 13, 2013 05:20

canadiantreefrog: Aug 26, 2006

1. Bates and Anthony / Chuck and Wynona
2. Matt and Daniel / Idries and Jamil
3. Max and Katie (please let it be them. The show hasn't even started and I hate them) / Chuck and Wynona
4. Pam and Winnie
5. Bates and Anthony
6. Joey and Meghan
7. Jessica and John
8. Idries and Jamil
9. Female
10. No
11. Yes
12. Yes
13. 1
14.

canadiantreefrog fucked around with this message at Feb 17, 2013 around 17:16

# ? Feb 13, 2013 12:43

sportsgenius86: Jun 17, 2008; yo dawg randytar is back dawg

1. Chuck & Wynona; Joey & Meghan
2. Idries & Jamil; David & Connor
3. Mona & Beth; Chuck & Wynona
4. Joey & Meghan
5. Max & Katie
6. Pam & Winnie
7. Max & Katie
8. Idries & Jamil
9. Male
10. Yes
11. No
12. Yes
13. 6
14.

# ? Feb 13, 2013 13:10

Nystral: Feb 6, 2002; Every man likes a pretty girl with him at a skeleton dance.

1. Chuck and Wynona or Matt and Daniel
2. Idries and Jamil or Pam and Winnie
3. Bates and Anthony or Joey and Meghan
4. Jessica and John
5. Matt and Daniel
6. Max and Katie
7. Caroline and Jennifer
8. Pan and Winnie
9. Male
10. Yes
11. No
12. No
13. 4
14.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 13, 2013 15:42

Nexal: Apr 21, 2010; Moby - Extreme ways

1. Joey&Meghan / Caroline&Jennifer
2. Bates&Anthony / Matt&Daniel
3. Idres&Jamil / Mona&Beth
4. Max and Katie
5. Pam and Winnie
6. Chuck and Wynona
7. Bates and Anthony
8. Joey and Meghan
9. Female
10. Yes
11. No
12. Yes
13. 1
14.

# ? Feb 13, 2013 16:35

Assless Chaps: May 7, 2007; Is that bacon on your turkey leg?

They call it The Swanson.

Alright Poque, I'm back in the game this season. I'm not sure I'll have the time to come back every week, but I'mma try!

1. Chuck/Wynona, Bates/Anthony
2. Idries/Jamil, Joey/Meghan
3. Chuck/Wynona, David/Connor
4. Jessica/John
5. Matt/Daniel
6. Mona/Beth
7. David/Connor
8. Joey/Meghan
9. Female
10. Yes
11. Yes
12. Yes
13. One
14. Oh Chuck ... why?

# ? Feb 13, 2013 17:33

Andorra: Dec 12, 2012

1. Matt & Daniel/Joey & Meghan
2. Max & Katie/David & Conner
3. Caroline & Jennifer/Matt & Daniel
4. Bates & Anthony
5. Jessica & John
6. Mona & Beth
7. Idries & Jamil
8. Max & Katie
9. Female
10. Yes
11. No
12. Of course
13. 1
14.

# ? Feb 13, 2013 18:27

Toast: Dec 7, 2002; GoonsWithSpoons.com Generalissimo

Great to be back for another season, somehow I don't think returners will get down to me though, if only I'd had a better final ep

1. Chuck and Wynona / Bates and Anthony
2. Bates and Anthony / Joey and Megaan
3. Idries and Jamil / Pam and Winnie
4. Jessica and John
5. David and Connor
6. Mona and Beth
7. Max and Katie
8. Bates and Anthony
9. Female (goddamnit)
10. Yes
11. No
12. Yes
13. 2
14.

# ? Feb 13, 2013 19:51

cbservo: Dec 26, 2009; This is our logo. We're the Lakers. What's our mascot? What do you mean? Please. Our mascot is Kobe Bryant's middle finger. What's that? You've noticed that some idiot decided that one of our primary colors should be purple? You think that's kind of gay? Let me refer you to our mascot. Fuck you.

Yeeeeeeees let's do this! Wife got me hooked on this show!

1 Chuck and Wynona/ Phil
2 Jessica and John/ Matt and Daniel
3 Chuck and Wynona/ Max and Katie
4 Joey and Meghan
5 Mona and Beth
6 Caroline and Jennifer
7 Idries and Jamil
8 Bates and Anthony
9 Female
10 Yes
11 Yes
12 Yes
13 Five
14

# ? Feb 13, 2013 23:02

paperchaseguy: Feb 21, 2002; Of course you know I have no target on my back.

1. Bates and Anthony, Matt and Daniel
2. Bates and Anthony, John and Jessica
3. Matthew and Daniel, Chuck and Wynona
4. Idries and Jamil
5. Mona and Beth
6. David and Connor
7. John and Jessica
8. Idries and Jamil
9. Female
10. Yes
11. No
12. No (It's only at the mat, silly!)
13. 3
14.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 13, 2013 23:57

kenner116: May 15, 2009

1. Caroline & Jennifer, Chuck & Wynona
2. Jessica & John, Joey & Meghan
3. Chuck & Wynona, Mona & Beth
4. Max & Katie
5. Idries & Jamil
6. Caroline & Jennifer
7. Bates & Anthony
8. Joey & Meghan
9. Female
10. Yes
11. No
12. Yes
13. 2
14.

# ? Feb 14, 2013 03:13

Absolute Zero: Mar 12, 2007; Best QB in Arizona history*

_*projected

I haven't done this in a few years, but lots of time on my hands these days so why not.

The Questions - Episode 1
1. Chuck & Wynona, Bates & Anthony
2. Bates & Anthony, Jessica & John
3. Pam & Winnie, David & Connor
4. Max & Katie
5. Caroline & Jennifer
6. Mona & Beth
7. Jessica & John
8. Jessica & John
9. Female
10. Yes
11. Yes
12. Yes
13. Two
14.

edit: ahahahahahahahahah

i didn't even see the part of the bio where they describe her as being like Zooey Dechanel. Way too loving predictable

Absolute Zero fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 04:20

# ? Feb 14, 2013 04:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 19, 2013 21:13

Magnatux: Nov 13, 2004; The surrealistic adventure became my world.

1. Chuck and Wynona | Phil
2. David and Connor | Jessica and John
3. Caroline and Jennifer | Chuck and Wynona
4. Joey and Meghan
5. Matt and Daniel
6. Max and Katie
7. Idries and Jamil
8. Pam and Winnie
9. Female
10. Yes
11. No
12. Yes
13. Three
14.

# ? Feb 14, 2013 04:41

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The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The TV IV > The Amazing Race 22 E-Penis Game