Murphy's Rules: Your Favorite Game Is Weird

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > Murphy's Rules: Your Favorite Game Is Weird

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

Myriad Truths posted:

This entirely theoretical build is designed to teleport the sun offensively.

This... this is the best thing I have ever seen. And at 30th level, gently caress it, go to town! Ruin the universe!

# ¿ Feb 13, 2013 01:48

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 20:21

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

Many, possibly all, of the rules of 3.5 D&D are accessible and discoverable by the characters in the game.

Okay. So there's some wizards of varying levels in a wizard's tower somewhere. They are indubitably intelligent - smarter than we are - so they start experimenting with the laws of the universe.

(1) They know that their members can prepare X, Y, Z spells of I, II, III levels, and that these are always distinct quantities in a regular progression. They have at this point figured out the spell chart.

(2) The ranges and areas of effect of their spells increase in distinct, quantized measurements - usually 5' or 10' each* - and that this increase corresponds with the number of spells prepared.

(3) These gains only come in specific units. At this point, these Wizards have figured out Levels as a fundamental feature of the universe, and can even engineer out their specific levels through use of (for example) spell ranges.

(4) By blasting damaging spells at uniform targets of specific kind - like walls and blocks of wood - they can determine the percent of the time the item is blown up. By letting Wizards of different levels do this, they can further chart the efficacy - the block of wood is destroyed X% of the time by a Fireball spell by a wizard of Y level. At this point, they can figure out Hit Points as a fundamental feature of objects.

(4a) If they're particularly unethical, they can figure it out about goblins or kobolds, too.

(5) By the same token, they can determine that the probability of destroying targets is shaped in a curve best represented by Xd6, where X is their Level.

(6) With repeated uses of spells like Charm Person on each other, they can determine (a) saving throws, (b) Wizards' Will save progressions, (c) the caster's Intelligence bonuses, and (d) the targets' Wisdom bonuses.

(7) By doing this against (for example) town guards, they can further work out non-Wizards' Will Save progressions and Wisdom scores.

(8) The Wizards can get people to lift heavy things. They notice the maximum amounts their subjects can lift are, in turn, quantized into distinct units of measurement instead of smooth. By casting buffing spells, they can work out the progression and notice that it matches at every step. They have just worked out possibly as much as the entire 3-18 or 3-22 scale for Strength and can refer to it by a number.

(9) Bonus spells for high intelligence, as soon as they figure out the progression system. They can now determine their own Intelligence scores based on how many spells they can prepare when they get their first spell of X level. They now know who's smarter.

(10) Their actual numerical level - in case I wasn't clear before - because it's used in spell range and area formulae. So they could (and maybe should) refer to themselves as a Level 5 Wizard and have it mean the same thing as when a player says it.

(11) Get their cleric buddies into the mix; priests of a magic or knowledge god should be amenable. Their levels and bonus spells from Wisdom should likewise be apparent. So now you can refer to "James, the Level 7 Cleric." They also know there's a Wisdom statistic, since the same thing that makes Clerics learn more spells also contributes to the % chance a Charm spell will affect them.

(12) Can they at this point figure out ... characters' or monsters' hit points, the amount of damage done by daggers vs. swords, and how much a Cure X Wounds spell heals? This is less immediately obvious, but...

# ¿ Feb 13, 2013 07:26

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

Glagha posted:

This strategy is called Knights of the Roxbury

Got patched with the free action attack limits. Still hilarious, but no longer workable...

# ¿ Feb 15, 2013 05:04

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

Glagha posted:

You see this guy? You see the abilities he has? For one, note that this bird for some reason has the ability to prevent healing, and guarantee that a dead creature will never return to life. That's not the important part though. Notice what it can't do?

Weren't whipporwills considered an ominous sign in The Dunwich Horror? Like superstitions related to death?

I may be mixing up my Lovecraft...

# ¿ Feb 25, 2013 22:33

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

Light Warden - I just wanted to note I've really enjoyed your writeups in this thread. Well written and hilarious.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2013 19:53

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

All of these old magic cards are making me nostalgic. I remember the good old days (1993?) of throwing like seven or eight starter decks together and playing with all of them before we understood stuff like "strategy."

# ¿ Mar 19, 2013 18:12

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

So I just learned about this - and forgive me if it's been posted already - but in D&D 5e, because its notions of 'timing' are basically nonexistence, this is a real thing that can happen.

(1) Wally the Wizard starts casting Lightning Bolt
(2) Sally the Sorceress casts Counterspell to prevent Wally from casting it.
(3) Wally uses his Reaction to cast Counterspell back at Sally, thereby countering Sally's counter
(4) The Lightning Bolt goes off, despite having been interrupted with a counterspell exchange.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 00:22

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

Gambor posted:

Can you use a reaction on your own turn though? I feel like you couldn't but I'm nowhere near books.

Yep seems like you can. It was verboten in 4e, probably for reasons much like this.

http://dnd.wizards.com/articles/sage-advice/ability-check

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 00:36

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

bewilderment posted:

This actually isn't a thing that happen for a simple reason - DnD5e forbids casting two non-cantrip spells on the same turn. Since Counterspell is, itself, a spell, you can't cast both Lightning Bolt and Counterspell on your turn.

The link below explicitly says it's a thing that happens, and goes so far as to call it a 'common example' of taking a reaction on your turn. The rule is about bonus actions, not reactions.

http://dnd.wizards.com/articles/sage-advice/ability-check

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 04:13

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

cheetah7071 posted:

I think it is the case that if you cast a bonus action spell, you can't react with counterspell because counterspell isn't a cantrip with a casting time of one action

But you can do it if your first spell costs an action no problem

That's just ... :allears:

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 16:02

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

Kurieg posted:

NATURAL LANGUAGE

Yeah, and because WotC overdid errata in 4e, not a single iota of this nonsense will be changed.

Bring it up somewhere, and it'll be all DM EMPOWERMENT and THE RULES CAN'T SOLVE EVERYTHING and IT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE AND WAS INTENTIONALLY DESIGNED THIS WAY BECAUSE REASONS

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 16:41

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 20:21

dwarf74: Sep 2, 2012; Buglord

Elfgames posted:

I'm going to say this isn't actually a murphy, remember a whole round of D&D lasts about 6 seconds no matter how many creatures are participating so those actions all happen relatively simultaneously

AFAICT, it either requires time-travel with full on broken causality (if you weren't casting lightning bolt yet, why were they casting counterspell?), or else hitting the pause button on one spell, casting another one, and resuming. Either one seems really weird.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 18:32

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