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Randandal
Feb 26, 2009










BBC reports: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-21455453

News24 is the best a source for South African news stories.

Apparently the world-renowned athlete from South Africa, Oscar Pistorius of London Olympics fame (pictured above), was awakened at 4am by an intruder entering his home. Proving that he does not owe his speed to the artificial legs he wears, he used his entirely non-prosthetic quick trigger finger to dispose of the intruder.

Once in an arm, and once in the head. Unfortunately, the intruder turned out to be his girlfriend, who was sneaking into his house at 4am on Valentine's Day to surprise him.

Girlfriend pictured below, pre-bullet.





So what do you think, guys? Does his defense have a leg to stand on?

Updated 2/17: Looks like the intruder story has been disqualified and was as artificial as his carbon fiber blades. Oscar Pistorius really stepped in it deep with this. South African police have charged him with premeditated murder, and also he used a cricket bat to crush her skull.

Updated 2/20: The South African media sucks, don't listen to them. If it isn't in the courtroom logs, it's just media speculation.

Randandal fucked around with this message at Feb 20, 2013 around 10:07

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fdaJJ
May 3, 2005


DEEP DOWN I'M A FURRY WHO LOVES TIGERS


I am not sure if this thread is real or you just made it to be punny.

vv Let it begin!!

fdaJJ fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 08:50

Castle Bidimar
Mar 27, 2012


Excuse me while I drive this car into that wall


He isn't going to have a spring in his step for a while.

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010

Mass extinction, darling, hypocrisy. These things are not good for me. Do you see what I see, dear?


Huh...he sort of jumped the gun this time, huh?

Captain Backslap
Nov 9, 2006


I thought this was going to be about him getting married.

h210679
Dec 22, 2011


Is his house in South Africa? I don't know much about this guy but given the circumstances and if his house is in South Africa - it'll be determined a lawful shooting me thinks.

Gotta feel for the guy though, sucks to him right about now. And drat, what a hottie!

Sorry I can't think of any puns. I'm not punny.

Prawned
Oct 25, 2010



Did I miss the memo allowing puns again?

Regardless, this sucks. Super-hot girlfriend decides to wake you up at 4am on valentines day (for a blowjob), you decide to serve her hot lead instead of hot

He's a cool bro, met him once at a very drunk festival and he punched my friend in the stomach.

Saga
Aug 17, 2009


Did he at least give her a running start?

fdaJJ
May 3, 2005


DEEP DOWN I'M A FURRY WHO LOVES TIGERS


Saga posted:

Did he at least give her a running start?

Alright I like this one

The Rage
Jun 28, 2007

This cat is wizard


What a horrible loving situation. I hope he'll be able to bounce back.

No really that is goddamn sad.

The Rage fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 09:10

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

SEXY... defines my posts and my ride


Captain Backslap posted:

I thought this was going to be about him getting married.
Take my wife... please! Take her! (and shoot her)

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000


Jesus, that's horrible. Gotta stand your ground in your own home, though.

Regardless of the surprise by the friendly intrusion, any excuse he tries to give her just won't have a leg to stand on e;fb gently caress.

Saga
Aug 17, 2009


In my day you weren't allowed artificial aids in domestic violence. We had to beat our wives to death with our own two hands.

Mallory
Feb 14, 2013

by Y Kant Ozma Post


He doesnt have legs.


Edit, looks like he has been taken into custody now...

Mallory fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 10:33

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005

From the greatest bedroom filmmaker of our times, director of "Wigga Please", "Feminazis II: Space Master Race", comes "Video Game: The Movie: The Game: The Movie". Directed by Alan Smithee. Written by Alan Smithee. Starring Alan Smithee. Produced by Skoolmunkee

Oh lord here come the gun pun posts

Limp Wristed Limey
Sep 7, 2010

Bitcoins are the path to freedom.




Edit: beaten first post.

Brilliant thread title.

Limp Wristed Limey fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 10:02

JohnnyBigPotatoes
Jun 8, 2012

ASK ME ABOUT SPENDING $732.49 ON DIABLO 3 GOLD AND THEN SELLING ALL THE ITEMS AND GOLD FOR $38.27 BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID OF THE TAXES AND IRS

Mitt Romney 2012
click here to find out more

He'll never be the head of a major corporation.

Fumble
Sep 4, 2006



According to Eurosport he has just been charged with murder.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/...-071857573.html

Exclamation Marx
Feb 18, 2012

☆ We communists are like ☆ seeds and the people are
the soil. Wherever we go, we must unite with the people, take root and blossom among them.



Looks like he's probably guilty under South African law:

quote:

If we apply this to the car theft scenario above, then it is clear that you would not be able to use lethal force to prevent the theft of your vehicle. You would have to resort to other non-lethal methods of trying to prevent the crime. If during your lawful attempts to prevent the theft, the thief retaliates and poses a threat to your life or anyone else, only then would you legally be entitled to use necessary force to defend yourself or others.

It is important to remember that before you can act in self-defence, the attack against you should have commenced, or at least be imminent. For example, if the thief pulls out a firearm and aims in your direction, then you would be justified in using lethal force to protect your life. However, you cannot shoot the unsuspecting thief on the premise that if you confront him, he would place your life in danger. The pre-emptive strike principle is not applicable in private defence cases.

Consider another set of circumstances. You wake up one night and discover that an intruder has broken into your living room. The thief is armed with a firearm and is sneaking through the house, gathering valuable items as he proceeds.

You know that if he is startled he might shoot you or your family. Can you lawfully shoot him? Do you have to take your family and flee from your home? Do you have to wait for him to attack you or your family?

Unlike the scenario with the car thief, this time the intruder is in your home. However, the same legal principles apply. You cannot use lethal force to prevent him from walking out with your TV. Instead, you or your family would have to be in immediate danger. It could be argued that the mere fact that the intruder is in your home is sufficient threat to justify your using lethal force against him. Again, each case could be judged separately, but the legally safe option would be to avoid using lethal force until you have no other option.15 Rather avoid confronting intruders. It could save your life and keep you out of jail.

In short

The principle is simple: the life of the attacker can only be taken in order to protect your or someone else’s life or to prevent serious bodily harm. It is unlawful to use lethal force in any other circumstances. In other words, your property is not worth the life of the person that is stealing it from you!

http://www.iss.org.za/pubs/CrimeQ/No.8/duPlessis.htm

Amputerrible.

Haruharuharuko
Mar 24, 2008

It takes an idiot to do cool things. That's why it's cool.


I bet he'll have some legal hurdles to jump before this is all said and done.

WMain00
Oct 7, 2008

You can't cut back posting! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!


Fumble posted:

According to Eurosport he has just been charged with murder.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/...-071857573.html

quote:

"The deceased was shot four times and died on the scene. It is believed that she was the girlfriend of the accused."

He shot her four times? I'm sorry, but my sympathy is quickly evaporating for this guy.

Fumble
Sep 4, 2006



Horrible pun removed

Fumble fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 10:15

Prawned
Oct 25, 2010



There was a similar case a few years ago were a father shot and killed his daughter, believing her a robber stealing a car outside the family home.

If I'm not mistaken he was found guilty of murder but given a suspended sentence or some such, the details escape me.

Edit: Different incident to the I referred to above, but father was charged with culpable homicide in this case http://www.iol.co.za/news/crime-cou...rglar-1.1300063

Either way Oscar's got a fun few years ahead of him.

Edit2: VVV Where do you get that from?

Prawned fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 10:12

Fumble
Sep 4, 2006



WMain00 posted:

He shot her four times? I'm sorry, but my sympathy is quickly evaporating for this guy.

Sympathy for Pistorius? The guy is a grade A solid gold and diamond encrusted arsehole.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/ol...ras-blades.html

Fumble fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 10:20

Mr. Gibbycrumbles
Aug 30, 2004

Do you think your paladin sword can defeat me?

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style


This is absolutely insane. No words...holy poo poo.

NoEyedSquareGuy
Mar 16, 2009

Just because Liquor's dead, doesn't mean you can just roll this bitch all over town with "The Freedoms."


I can't tell from the picture you posted, but did she also have cyborg legs? This is important.

dubsteppin
Apr 15, 2011

Act like you know
*wommmmmp whirrrrrr*


Exclamation Marx posted:

Looks like he's probably guilty under South African law:


http://www.iss.org.za/pubs/CrimeQ/No.8/duPlessis.htm

Amputerrible.

Guess he doesn't have any legal footing then

Loonytoad Quack
Aug 24, 2004

High on Shatner's Bassoon

This is horrible, but I'm kind of glad it's brought out the old SA in people. This is from his girlfriend's Twitter:

Exclamation Marx
Feb 18, 2012

☆ We communists are like ☆ seeds and the people are
the soil. Wherever we go, we must unite with the people, take root and blossom among them.



Loonytoad Quack posted:

This is horrible, but I'm kind of glad it's brought out the old SA in people. This is from his girlfriend's Twitter:





Well this is awkward

SirDan3k
Jan 6, 2001

Trust me, you are taking this a lot more seriously then I am.


WMain00 posted:

He shot her four times? I'm sorry, but my sympathy is quickly evaporating for this guy.

Eh four shots is just pulling the trigger a lot in an adrenaline rush, your sympathy should have disappeared when he never gave her the chance to identify herself or surrender.

Saying "No sudden moves!" doesn't just let you to sound cool like Crockett and Tubbs it also helps you not shoot grandma.

Limp Wristed Limey
Sep 7, 2010

Bitcoins are the path to freedom.


He was probably drinking and they got into an argument. When you drink to the point of being legless and there are guns around, bad things are always going to happen with someone with such a known bad temper.

Randandal
Feb 26, 2009


Loonytoad Quack posted:

This is horrible, but I'm kind of glad it's brought out the old SA in people. This is from his girlfriend's Twitter:



I love you Gendo.

I actually missed the memo about puns being banned but I think that this thread has legs and an exception ought to be made to allow it to compete on its' own merits.

To answer a question earlier, Reeva Steenkamp (Pistorius's girlfriend) is in possession of all four natural limbs, or was prior to this morning's tragedy.



This defense strategy might have worked in the US system but given the law posted above, Oscar will likely stand trial and be convicted. Which makes me even sadder and more pun-prone, because assuming he knows the South African self-defense laws, then he really isn't fabricating the story to cover up murdering his girlfriend, and this really was a horrible accident.

Randandal fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 10:39

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005

From the greatest bedroom filmmaker of our times, director of "Wigga Please", "Feminazis II: Space Master Race", comes "Video Game: The Movie: The Game: The Movie". Directed by Alan Smithee. Written by Alan Smithee. Starring Alan Smithee. Produced by Skoolmunkee

Pardon my ignorance but I figured South Africa being a land where criminal gangs keep hyenas and Prawn tech is abundant self defense would be on the level of somewhere like Texas

Gravy Jones
Sep 13, 2003

I am not on your side


Fumble posted:

Sympathy for Pistorius? The guy is a grade A solid gold and diamond encrusted arsehole.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/ol...ras-blades.html

Are you sure you linked to the right article? That doesn't make him sound like an rear end in a top hat at all. Certainly not a level of assholery that should warrant this kind of a "how dare you feel sympathy for this man " response.

KinkyJohn
Sep 18, 2002


He was getting on my nerves with the stupid DSTV ads, so the upshot of all of this is they're probably going to pull those.

I'm going to tell my gf that even though I didn't get her anything for valentines day, at least I didn't shoot her.

whatis
Jun 6, 2012

I've got my lip gloss on standby


KinkyJohn posted:

I'm going to tell my gf that even though I didn't get her anything for valentines day, at least I didn't shoot her.

Men the world over thank you for your sacrifice, Mr. Pistorius

Masked Pumpkin
May 10, 2008


This is a terrible incident, and legal fees alone are going to cost him an arm and a... Never mind.

It's cut his career off at the knees, but we also have to allow for the possibility that the shooting was the result of a fight - maybe he didn't like the socks his girlfriend got him for Valentines day?

More seriously, given that he's going to a South African jail, I wouldn't say sex is going to be out of the question for lent.

KinkyJohn
Sep 18, 2002


news24 is the best source for SA related stuff:
http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/N...tation-20130214

KinkyJohn fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2013 around 11:03

ChesterJT
Dec 28, 2003

Crescent Fresh


Maybe I'm missing it but nowhere in the article linked in the OP does it say she came in at 4am or that he thought she was an intruder? Just that she was shot between 4a and 5a in the house.

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Bolian Blues
Nov 3, 2008


Yeah I'm only seeing a few sources reporting the "mistaken for an intruder" angle. Not saying it isn't true but I think the big news sites are being super cautious in reporting one way or another on what happened here.

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