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On Valentine's Day a very close friend of mine passed away. I've known him since 2005 or so, he was also my fiancé's best friend and living with him as well. My fiancé found him and did CPR, called 911, did everything he possibly could but our friend passed. Rob (my fiancé) is now in the hospital from the stress and fluid loss related to vomiting.. I am worried about him and our friend's wife. Our friend was 27-28, and his wife is 20. She turns 21 tomorrow (it is also their 3 month anniversary). She grew up in a small town in west TX of less than 2000 people and had moved to AL to live with her husband in 2010. He owned his own home (I am not sure if he is still paying mortgage) and they lived there. A few weeks ago his wife left to go back home in TX to take care of family and personal issues and our friend came to live with R for work opportunities. I feel terrible for his wife (Looloo) because she was away and did not get to spend time with him before he passed and she flew out of TX to NY where his family is and the funeral will be. She is very upset because she cannot reach Rob right now and wants to talk to him because he was the last to spend time with her husband alive. I can't reach him either and I have been trying to calm her down and keep her stable via text messages and instant messenger, but I cannot make it to the funeral and she doesn't know where she will go now as she does not have a driver's license (she does own a car) and she has no job so she can't afford to keep her husband's house. She is in a bad spot right now. I am going to the bookstore in the next few days and told her I would purchase her some books on grieving and coping with death, does anybody have any suggestions as to what books I should buy her? Aside from suggesting to see a grief counselor ASAP I do not know what else to say to her. What advice is there? I am trying to be strong and support her and my fiancé as best I can because I am living in KY and Rob is in Alabama and she is in NY now. She is saying she can't handle this, wants to slip away and die to be with her husband, and I just don't know what else to do. I know R and her have not gotten along the greatest but right now she feels she needs him and I can't get in contact with him so I don't know what else to say. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you so much. e: names added, unnecessary info edited. huskyjackal fucked around with this message at Feb 16, 2013 around 23:48 |
| # ? Feb 16, 2013 23:10 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 07:05 |
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Please put names in this story.
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| # ? Feb 16, 2013 23:16 |
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I'm worry about your fiance but it's really kinda gross how a 28-year old guy married a 20-year old girl. I hope she does okay in the long run. As for grieving, she can take solace in the fact that she's still young and can move on. They were only married for three months, and no kids. She'll find someone else, hopefully her own age. Hope your fiance is doing okay, too.
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| # ? Feb 16, 2013 23:29 |
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Sounds like your fiance murdered your friend after his wife found them doinking in the hot tub, sorry for your loss.
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| # ? Feb 16, 2013 23:33 |
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I would probably break up with your junkie husband after he gets back from rehab.
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| # ? Feb 16, 2013 23:36 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:I'm worry about your fiance but it's really kinda gross how a 28-year old guy married a 20-year old girl. What the gently caress? It's an eight-year difference and legal. Was this really a necessary response to the OP's question? Op I don't really see what you can do other than wait for your fiance to get in touch with one of the two of you. A Fancy Bloke fucked around with this message at Feb 16, 2013 around 23:48 |
| # ? Feb 16, 2013 23:43 |
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Thanks for the suggestions. I was able to reach my fiancé and he is speaking with her right now. I would still like to purchase some books for her, I'll continue searching for good titles.
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| # ? Feb 16, 2013 23:49 |
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huskyjackal posted:Thanks for the suggestions. I was able to reach my fiancé and he is speaking with her right now. I would still like to purchase some books for her, I'll continue searching for good titles. Have you considered The Bible?
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| # ? Feb 16, 2013 23:53 |
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What the hell, E/N? Huskyjackal, that's really terrible and I'm sorry. Giving your friend's wife books at this point might be a little much for her to handle. She's probably still too close to the situation to even concentrate on reading them. I know you want to be supportive. If you can't talk to her, I'd encourage her to find a local grief counseling center. Not only will she be able to get one-on-one counseling from them, they probably would be able to tell what she'll be most receptive toward and direct her to those resources.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 00:13 |
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Wonder Bra posted:What the hell, E/N?  I have mentioned grief counseling and have kept communication open. She has gotten ahold of my fiancé and she said that has helped a lot. I just hope she can get through this, as it is a terrible situation.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 00:52 |
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Was this guy ailing? Was it suicide? This might be relevant, so if you don't mind, tell us how such a young guy passed away.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 01:17 |
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huskyjackal posted:Our friend was 27-28, and his wife is 20. She turns 21 tomorrow (it is also their 3 month anniversary). [...] A few weeks ago his wife left to go back home in TX to take care of family and personal issues and our friend came to live with R for work opportunities. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the marriage wasn't working, they separated, he killed himself, and now she feels that it's her fault. hepatizon fucked around with this message at Feb 17, 2013 around 02:31 |
| # ? Feb 17, 2013 02:29 |
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The OP deleted that the death as from an od.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 02:48 |
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A Fancy Bloke posted:What the gently caress? It's an eight-year difference and legal. Was this really a necessary response to the OP's question? Eight years is a HUGE gap, especially when the younger partner is barely into their 20s. If she was 30 and he was 38, that'd be one thing, but 20 is way too young to be hitching it with someone almost 30. She'll realize she's better off eventually. I feel bad for the guy who died, but the marriage wouldve ended eventually, probably.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 02:52 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:Eight years is a HUGE gap, especially when the younger partner is barely into their 20s. If she was 30 and he was 38, that'd be one thing, but 20 is way too young to be hitching it with someone almost 30. She'll realize she's better off eventually. I feel bad for the guy who died, but the marriage wouldve ended eventually, probably. Holy poo poo
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 03:56 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:Eight years is a HUGE gap, especially when the younger partner is barely into their 20s. If she was 30 and he was 38, that'd be one thing, but 20 is way too young to be hitching it with someone almost 30. She'll realize she's better off eventually. I feel bad for the guy who died, but the marriage wouldve ended eventually, probably. Yeah, no biggie.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 04:03 |
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Hot Sauce Batman posted:Holy poo poo What? I dont mean to sound callous. Its horrible that the guy died. Its tragic. But I think the marriage to begin with was a mistake. But this thread isn't about that and I apologize for bringing it up. OP's asking for ways to help the widow. Just be as supportive and sensitive as possible, OP, and she'll be fine. Again, I feel bad for the husband and I hope his family copes well  .
Quality_Guaranteed fucked around with this message at Feb 17, 2013 around 04:22 |
| # ? Feb 17, 2013 04:04 |
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Even when one partner dies, the answer is "break up" Never change, E/N
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 04:23 |
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Yeah, OP, just tell her that god says she married a scumbag pedophile and this is god's way of watching out for her. She'll understand. Yes, QG, it is kind of gross, but this isn't the place for that.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 04:29 |
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*walks infront of Quality and suddenly drat near snaps in half at the waist. I grab my ankles and begin grunting wildly as if I was a 20 year old child trying to mess my diaper. Suddenly you begin to hear this almost inaudibly high pitched beginning to what will end up being the most awkward and long winded octave sweep of a fart you have ever heard. Before I make it to the end though, it is interrupted by a clumpy and wet sound, as the diaper area around my sphincter begins to bulge slightly as it fills with my warm, wicked fuckin hawt turds bro. BOOYAAHHHH
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 04:57 |
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PUBLIC TOILETS
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nutcup posted:*walks infront of Quality and suddenly drat near snaps in half at the waist. I grab my ankles and begin grunting wildly as if I was a 20 year old child trying to mess my diaper. Suddenly you begin to hear this almost inaudibly high pitched beginning to what will end up being the most awkward and long winded octave sweep of a fart you have ever heard. Before I make it to the end though, it is interrupted by a clumpy and wet sound, as the diaper area around my sphincter begins to bulge slightly as it fills with my warm, wicked fuckin hawt turds bro. BOOYAAHHHH What the livng gently caress? Look, all i'm saying is that the ages of the wife and late husband seemed pretty far apart. I'm sorry for bringing it up, it doesnt belong in this thread. I'm sorry. I feel bad for the husband, he didn't deserve to die. I hope his family is alright, and I hope his widow his alright. But my concerne for the age gap is off-topic for the thread. I was an idiot for bringing it up. It's a horrible tragedy, since it's obvious that the wife really loved him and is devastated. It's none of my business what their ages are, so long as they're both above 18 years old. I'm sorry, everyone .
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 05:03 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:Its tragic. But I think the marriage to begin with was a mistake.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 05:04 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:Eight years is a HUGE gap, especially when the younger partner is barely into their 20s. If she was 30 and he was 38, that'd be one thing, but 20 is way too young to be hitching it with someone almost 30. She'll realize she's better off eventually. I feel bad for the guy who died, but the marriage wouldve ended eventually, probably. Nothing like ringing in your 21st birfday with the death of your spouse. If she manages to escape alcoholism and poverty I'm sure she will come to the conclusion that she married a weird dude. A weird cradle robbing dude who more than likely deserved to die. It brings a smile to my face.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 05:07 |
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I mean, what if you're 24 and seeing someone who's 20. It's not common but I think if they're both mature enough it's not really a big deal.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 05:07 |
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How did your friend overdose? Was it on Viagra so he could gently caress his child bride?
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 05:08 |
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Again, I'm sorry. I dont think the husband was a bad person. His wife obviously loved him and I'm sorry this happened. Please, PLEASE dont think that I'm happy about this. Please dont think that. I'm so sorry. This is horrible. The age gap just caught my attention, thats all. But I was wrong to bring it up, since it doesnt matter. I still think the widow has plenty of time to recover, though. Thats what the OP should emphasize: she is strong enough to get through this. Its horrible that her first husband died, but she can move on. I'm not a bad person. I'M NOT A BAD PERSON. I am NOT happy about this. This is so sad. Death is a tragedy. I hope everyone recovers from this: the widow, the fiance, the OP, everyone. Please dont think that I'm gloating over this. I just think an 8 year gap is pretty big, BUT LIKE I SAID, its none of my business and not relevant. I'm so sorry. Please just forget i brought it up. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 05:11 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:Again, I'm sorry. I dont think the husband was a bad person. His wife obviously loved him and I'm sorry this happened. Please, PLEASE dont think that I'm happy about this. Please dont think that. I'm so sorry. This is horrible. The age gap just caught my attention, thats all. But I was wrong to bring it up, since it doesnt matter. I still think the widow has plenty of time to recover, though. Thats what the OP should emphasize: she is strong enough to get through this. Its horrible that her first husband died, but she can move on. I'm not a bad person. I'M NOT A BAD PERSON. I am NOT happy about this. This is so sad. Death is a tragedy. I hope everyone recovers from this: the widow, the fiance, the OP, everyone. Please dont think that I'm gloating over this. I just think an 8 year gap is pretty big, BUT LIKE I SAID, its none of my business and not relevant. I'm so sorry. Please just forget i brought it up. Did you kill the OP's friend by any chance?
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 05:13 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:Again, I'm sorry. I dont think the husband was a bad person. His wife obviously loved him and I'm sorry this happened. Please, PLEASE dont think that I'm happy about this. Please dont think that. I'm so sorry. This is horrible. The age gap just caught my attention, thats all. But I was wrong to bring it up, since it doesnt matter. I still think the widow has plenty of time to recover, though. Thats what the OP should emphasize: she is strong enough to get through this. Its horrible that her first husband died, but she can move on. I'm not a bad person. I'M NOT A BAD PERSON. I am NOT happy about this. This is so sad. Death is a tragedy. I hope everyone recovers from this: the widow, the fiance, the OP, everyone. Please dont think that I'm gloating over this. I just think an 8 year gap is pretty big, BUT LIKE I SAID, its none of my business and not relevant. I'm so sorry. Please just forget i brought it up. I don't think anyone thinks you're a bad person for bringing it up, it's just not really a huge deal compared to the fact that the guy died.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 05:14 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:Again, I'm sorry. I dont think the husband was a bad person. His wife obviously loved him and I'm sorry this happened. Please, PLEASE dont think that I'm happy about this. Please dont think that. I'm so sorry. This is horrible. The age gap just caught my attention, thats all. But I was wrong to bring it up, since it doesnt matter. I still think the widow has plenty of time to recover, though. Thats what the OP should emphasize: she is strong enough to get through this. Its horrible that her first husband died, but she can move on. I'm not a bad person. I'M NOT A BAD PERSON. I am NOT happy about this. This is so sad. Death is a tragedy. I hope everyone recovers from this: the widow, the fiance, the OP, everyone. Please dont think that I'm gloating over this. I just think an 8 year gap is pretty big, BUT LIKE I SAID, its none of my business and not relevant. I'm so sorry. Please just forget i brought it up. I would like to massage you. Pleasure you in some way. To make you feel good. I apologize for what i said earlier if you thought I was poking fun at what you said. I just enjoy the incredible detail im seeing of your muscular physique. The definition of all these various muscles is exciting to me. I just want to enjoy your fart factory.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 05:25 |
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OP, I am so, so sorry this happened to you. And by that I mean this thread. The other thing is pretty bad too I guess.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 07:30 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:Eight years is a HUGE gap, especially when the younger partner is barely into their 20s. If she was 30 and he was 38, that'd be one thing, but 20 is way too young to be hitching it with someone almost 30. She'll realize she's better off eventually. I feel bad for the guy who died, but the marriage wouldve ended eventually, probably. Hey, check this out. The guy's dead. You're a loving rear end in a top hat. Get help! Edit: Dear dead guy's wife, I know we don't know each other, but I just wanted to let you know that you're better off now that the man you love is dead. He was probably an awful person due to circumstances I have no understanding of and I'm sure you'll see this as a good thing someday. Love, Quality_Guaranteed E1M1 fucked around with this message at Feb 17, 2013 around 08:27 |
| # ? Feb 17, 2013 08:22 |
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He is not that old for her QG, he is actually kind of really young for her if you put it in perspective: She is twenty years old, while he is only a few days dead.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 08:30 |
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QG is a well meaning person who sometimes says weird things inadvertently, don't be too hard on him.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 08:54 |
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Rotten Dog Jizz posted:Nothing like ringing in your 21st birfday with the death of your spouse. If she manages to escape alcoholism and poverty I'm sure she will come to the conclusion that she married a weird dude. A weird cradle robbing dude who more than likely deserved to die. It brings a smile to my face. Hey it was her own fault for marrying someone that was at such an advanced age.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 10:42 |
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Everyone shut the gently caress up, I got this. OP: Sever with your junkie husband, tell your child bride friend to get therapy and then take your rear end to the gym (change gym to rehab if you are a junkie yourself).
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 11:26 |
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Quality_Guaranteed posted:What? I dont mean to sound callous. Its horrible that the guy died. Its tragic. But I think the marriage to begin with was a mistake. But this thread isn't about that and I apologize for bringing it up. OP's asking for ways to help the widow. Just be as supportive and sensitive as possible, OP, and she'll be fine. Again, I feel bad for the husband and I hope his family copes well No it's cool, you don't sound callous. You just sound completely loving ridiculous. I'll be the first to shake my head at a relationship with a big age difference and/or one exceedingly young partner. But 20 and 28 is not such a case. And even if it was, you would probably do well to stop making assumptions about how things theoretically would have gone had no one died, speaking as if you know even one loving thing about their relationship. And to the guy who made a post specifically to point out that the death was drug related: Are you implying that matters? Does that make it less tragic? Is it less painful to the people involved? I'm used to a fair degree of judgement in this sub-forum (and often rightly so), but jesus, I have seldom seen so many people being so unjustifiably horrible to somebody. Anyway, I don't actually have any advice, just condolences to you and your friends. This post isn't really relevant to the topic, I was just concerned that some of the people who posted earlier might not realize that they're bad people, and I felt compelled to let them know.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 11:38 |
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Pringleton posted:I'm used to a fair degree of judgement in this sub-forum (and often rightly so), but jesus, I have seldom seen so many people being so unjustifiably horrible to somebody.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 12:39 |
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The 17 year old married a 25 year old, was widowed three years later when her husband dies of an OD, dead guy's best friend, YOUR boyfriend, is in the hospital due to a case of death-induced jitters, you can't " make it to the funeral", this happened two days ago and your concern is what loving BOOKS you can get her?
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 15:00 |
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Nadine Hauklund posted:The 17 year old married a 25 year old, was widowed three years later when her husband dies of an OD, dead guy's best friend, YOUR boyfriend, is in the hospital due to a case of death-induced jitters, you can't " make it to the funeral", this happened two days ago and your concern is what loving BOOKS you can get her? OP says 3 months, not years.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 15:12 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 07:05 |
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Nadine Hauklund posted:The 17 year old married a 25 year old, was widowed three years later when her husband dies of an OD, dead guy's best friend, YOUR boyfriend, is in the hospital due to a case of death-induced jitters, you can't " make it to the funeral", this happened two days ago and your concern is what loving BOOKS you can get her? Op have you met any of these people in real life? This sounds a lot like an Internet only relationship kind of thing.
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| # ? Feb 17, 2013 15:14 |
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