Let's Create A Wrestler (and dictate his career)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium* > Punchsport Pagoda > Let's Create A Wrestler (and dictate his career)

JGKing: Dec 26, 2012

PROLOGUE: HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

This is the tale of a wrestler. This wrestler doesn't yet know how to throw a forearm, execute a suplex, or soar from the top turnbuckle. He's never cut a promo, never made a pinfall, never strode into an arena with his entrance music blaring. In short, he is not yet a professional wrestler. He's simply a child.

The year is 2000, and an eight year old boy is bobbing excitedly in front of the television. He and a few of his school friends have recently fallen in love with the World Wrestling Federation, but this particular child has taken the keenest interest by far. Whereas his friends simply cheer whenever somebody is drilled with a finisher or smashes through a table, he picks out the contrasting styles and techniques on display. He is as equally impressed by the methodical know-how of Triple H as he is the electrifying dynamism of The Rock. But one style in particular has captured the boy's imagination beyond all others. In a few years time when he confronts his desire to be a professional wrestler, this way of fighting will be adopted by him, and honed in order to propel him to the very top of the world. He aims to become...

a) A brawler. The no-nonsense, scrapping style of superstars such as Stone Cold, The Dudley Boyz, and the APA have inspired him the most.
b) A high flyer. The flashy antics of The Hardy Boyz and Essa Rios have convinced the boy to defeat his opponents with speed and daring.
c) A powerhouse. He wants to be like The Undertaker, Kane, and Big Show, dominating his enemies with sheer power and strength.
d) A technician. Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, and Chris Benoit have caught the kid's eye the most. He wants to strive for technical perfection.

Suddenly the boy's father enters the room, distracting the youngster momentarily from his onscreen heroes. Although he doesn't realise it yet, the child will come to greatly resemble his father in the future. This is especially lucky for our aspiring pro-wrestler, as in his younger years his middle-aged daddy was...

a) A 6'3" star high school quarterback.
b) A 5'7" semi-professional surfer.
c) A 5'11" small time actor and male model.
d) A 6'6" nightclub doorman.

The boy turns back to the TV just in time to see The Rock hoisting his WWF Championship aloft, while Triple H lays vanquished in the center of the ring. As JR and Jerry Lawler scream their goodbyes to close RAW, this particular wrestler's story is only beginning...

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Vote for the boy's STYLE and PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES.

Additionally, NOMINATE A NAME

# ? Feb 16, 2013 23:49

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# ? May 26, 2013 08:12

holycrapabear: May 17, 2009

HIGH FLYING NIGHTCLUB DOORMAN HIGH FLYING NIGHTCLUB DOORMAN

And his name shall be HIGH FLYING NIGHTCLUB DOORMAN

(I will also accept the name Thundercunt)

# ? Feb 16, 2013 23:54

Stallion Cabana: Feb 14, 2012; My name is Stallion Cabana. I am a Chicago native, a man of the people, an entrepreneur, a podcaster, a comedian, a professional wrestler, but most importantly, I am a pony.