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(modedit: This thread was in SAL, but we thought maybe the wider A/T audience would enjoy it for a while. When it seems to have run its course it'll go back to SAL. If you care about education, please do check out that subforum because it's great. Love, EPW) I've been working in a medium-sized urban public school district (~35,000 students) as a full-time substitute teacher for over two years now, and I've collected my share of interesting stories. When I started, I had completed all my education coursework, and I recently finished my student teaching semester and am now fully licensed in middle and high school English. I give you this as context: though I definitely picked up subbing because I needed a paycheck, my motivation has always been to be the best teacher I could be for the kids under... frequently extenuating circumstances, and ultimately to learn to be a better teacher and classroom manager myself. Despite the stories you are about to read, I have still mostly maintained that idealism. In any event, I thought a thread specifically about subbing might be interesting. I considered just submitting these to the general pedagogy thread, but let's be honest: 29 days out of 30, what I do isn't really pedagogy. Enjoy reading my war stories, share your own, or hell, teachers or students, bitch about terrible subs you've had (cause boy do I hear some horror stories). We subs may be an ignoble, ignored and frequently ignorant lot, but ARE WE NOT, FUNDAMENTALLY, TEACHERS? No. No, we aren't. But you still have to stay in your desk and do your worksheet anyway. (one minor note: I would appreciate no internet detectiving of me, even to the point of "Oh, do you work in X school district?" I'm not going to say anything I'm ashamed of, much less anything that I could actually get in trouble for, but I would still prefer to remain as anonymous as possible -- that's why I bought a new account to post this.) ***** Substitute Teaching, Succinctly Summarized I did my undergrad at Princeton before moving out here -- my wife is in a specialized and selective degree program, and I figured I could teach anywhere in the country. It turns out, though, that a vanishingly small number of students in my district even think of applying to the Ivies -- the vast majority are aiming for state colleges and universities, with the high flyers/richer families shooting for the local private institutions. I've learned that mentioning my school to kids often stops the entire class for minutes of excited follow-up interrogation, but evasively refusing to answer is even worse, so when the topic comes up I generally mention it calmly before immediately moving on. Still, once one class in a school knows, it tends to spread -- I'll have kids who aren't even in my classes poke their heads in the door and ask, "Hey, are you the Princeton guy?" from time to time. I should perhaps also note that I always write my name on the board and introduce myself at the beginning of class, but the vast majority of students seem to have difficulty with basic phonetics. A good analogue is "Mr. Zlotchew" -- yes, it's foreign, but it's not exactly a trick question. At this point, I've learned to immediately announce that "Mr. Z" is also fine. So okay, enough background. I'm working in one of the schools I really like -- the student body is remarkably diverse both in terms of race, social class and academic rigor, but they're all great kids and, most days, a pleasure to work with. Today, however, has been tougher than most. I'm working purely with remedial math classes, and kids are skipping, off-task, on their phones, all that sort of stuff all day. No one incident is egregious, there's just a lot of low-level misbehavior. The good news, though, is that the teacher has left an actual, meaningful assignment that I can genuinely help with, so instead of spending my entire day stamping out brushfires I'm circulating, helping those kids who are interested with their math. I'm also going over to the kids who aren't as interested and sort of forcing them to work by hovering over their desks, force-marching them through their problems one step at a time. It's with one of these latter kids, probably halfway into the period, that I get interrupted in the middle of reminding him how to move constants from one side of an equation to the other by a question: "Hey, Mister, uh..." (he squints at the board for a moment, then gives up) "Mr. Substitute Teacher Guy?" "Yes?" "Where'd you go to college?" "Princeton. Now, if you subtract this 6--" "SWEAR TA GOD!!!! What the hell you doing HERE???" "..." What I Should Have Said: "Kid, I didn't choose the sub life. The sub life chose me." ***** Unionizing Doesn't Work Because You're Not Employees So I'm in a high school history classroom that is obviously disappointed that I'm expecting them to do any work. About half the kids have their heads down on their desks, and the other half is mostly chatting with each other. At one point, as I have my back slightly turned, a kid pulls up his hood, gets up and sprints out of the classroom and up the stairs out of sight. Well, poo poo: I have no idea who that was. I try the easy way, asking, "Who was that who just ran out?" Of course, nobody saw anything. Apparently this guy was basically Batman. I glare at them to see if that works, but nobody's breaking. So I do it the hard way, taking around the attendance sheet and one by one asking everybody their name. Sometimes it takes multiple seconds and a threat of referral for the nappers to respond, but eventually I work out who we lost and go to phone it in, admonishing them that they all need to be working on their packets now. I take the phone just out into the hallway for privacy, and when I come back in 30 seconds later literally the entire class has put their heads down on their desks. This includes the chatters and the texters: I am suddenly getting zero signs of life. "Very cute," I say. "Now wake up and get started. I can help if anybody has any questions." No acknowledgement. "Guys, this isn't workable and I'm about at the end of my patience. Sit up and work. NOW." Nothing. "I would definitely prefer not to have to write referrals for the entire class. I'm pretty sure my hand would start to cramp. If you want me to start, though, just keep doing what you're doing." Still no reaction, so I shrug and call the office right back. I don't bother going out in the hallway this time: "Hi! This is Mrs. Vederman's sub. I've got an entire class that's decided not to do any work, and I could really use either a dean right away or a much larger stack of referral forms. Thanks very much!" Then I hang up and go back to my desk, very carefully not looking at the kids. They know someone's on the way, and I'm trying to give them an out -- I'm withdrawing from the confrontation so they can pretend they didn't lose. And slowly, I see them start to pull up, grin at each other and pick up some pencils. By the time the dean came, they looked like a model classroom. She still gave them all lunch detention, though. Somebody fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 15:29 |
| # ? Feb 17, 2013 22:06 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 20:42 |
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Well, I feel a little dumb just replying to myself, but I've got a bunch of these stories I want to tell, so screw it: here's another one. Subs: Indistinct and Interchangeable Warm Bodies Despite the overwhelming ignominity of it all, I take what I do fairly seriously. I think of myself as a teacher: I have training, I have skills, I have lots of content knowledge. Even before I had my proper license, I took any opportunity I could find to be more than a babysitter. It still takes an especially bad day before I go into head-down-just-power-through-to-3:00 mode. In particular, I make a point of only taking assignments where my skills are relevant, which means middle and high school primary subject teachers. I don't do elementary because I have no idea how to handle kids that small (and the one or two times I accidentally wound up in such a job are their own stories...), I don't work for ELL teachers because I never learned any of the specialized skills and techniques they need, and I sure as poo poo don't ever, ever take Special Education assignments because I know that, 4-week course on "Exceptionality" aside, I would have absolutely no clue what I'm doing there. I especially love the rare occasions when I get to work for English teachers, who I swear have the lowest absentee rates of any field (go us!). One particular day I showed up for a middle school English gig, got my key and attendance sheets in the office, made it up to the classroom and settled myself in. About five minutes later, maybe half an hour before kids show up, the PA crackles to life: "Would... uh... [Greg] the sub please come down to the office?" So, okay, they don't know my last name and couldn't be bothered to look it up, whatever. A minor point. I show up and they ask me for my key back. "What?" "Well, we've got a lot of different teachers out and we need to move some subs around. We're going to have you do ELL instead." "But... I took the job for an English teacher." "Yes, but we're going to have someone else cover her classes, and put you in for the ELL teacher." "Okay, but, I'm not trained for ELL. I have no idea what to do with those kids." It's at this point that I realize they have literally never contemplated the idea that a substitute might have even the slightest inkling of relevant experience, as they look at me incredulously and say, "You get up in front and give them their lessons." The situation begins sinking in, but apparently not fast enough, because while I'm still pausing to process the secretary turns and asks the other office worker, "Well, can we switch around any of the other subs we've already placed?" And now I'm thinking crap, ignoring that somehow switching ME around wasn't a problem I'm now in the position of Causing More Work for the secretaries. One of them suggests, "Maybe we could put him in for the social studies teacher and switch Sarah to ELL." At this, another woman who had been waiting in the office looks up and asks, "What?" This of course is Sarah. So NOW I'm inconveniencing not only the secretaries but also another innocent sub who's right there in front of me, also looking perturbed at being unexpectedly swapped around. Well, poo poo. And then, before I have the chance to start backpedaling, the principal walks out of her office to ask what the problem is. Thank god, at this point, Sarah, who is a magnificent and beautiful woman who shall have my eternal respect and admiration, jumps in to say that she has no problem switching to ELL. This gives me the out of taking a social studies assignment, so hooray! I have a day where I'm not wildly out of my element and have a chance in hell of actually helping the kids learn something, and all I had to do was be made to look like a giant entitled prick in front of the entire administrative staff. Full-time teachers, I know how little respect you are frequently treated with, and how thankless your work often is. I'm prepared to be perpetually undervalued and unappreciated for the duration of my professional career. But: it really could always be worse. An Adorable Puppy fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 06:24 |
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 06:18 |
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Did you register here just to tell us you went to princeton? Also how can you not get a decent (or any) full time teaching position with a degree out of princeton considering how desperate all of the country is for even remotely qualified teachers? Anyway, I expected something more interesting than "some kids are amazed I went to princeton" and "They almost assigned me to a class I didn't know how to teach" from a substitute teacher stories thread, considering what we put subs through when I was in school and some of the stuff my friend who subbed for a couple years experienced. Seems like you work in a very good district. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 07:16 |
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Throughout the course of a day, as I was powering through a social studies class in middle school, all of the kids that sat in a particular corner gave me no trouble whatsoever. None. Only at the end of the day did I discover that they had been so good because they were distracted by pulling all the leaves off of a tall plastic plant. I had been so engrossed in helping kids who wanted it and getting do-nothings to work that I hadn't noticed the incrementally thinning faux-floral victim. This happened to be the same class where I was informed for the first time that I was the only sub that made anyone do their work. This would not be the last time, and I felt awesome about it (if it were true). I fell in love with inner-city teaching at an urban school that was rather out of place in its otherwise suburban district. I heard it called infamous before, so I wanted to experience it. "No fear, motherfucker, you got this. Civil War history class? I'm on this bitch like white on rice in a styrofoam cup of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm."  This school is where I also discovered that many inner-city kids just plain can't read on-level. It's like they thought the pages that contained the information they wanted were hot goddamned lava. What I did discover is that they are incredible at crowdsourcing, because nearly the entire class finished the assignment by sharing the average .75 answers each individual found. Some were just bitchy and disrespectful, and lots of the Hispanic kids acted in accordance with the expectation of overt racism from me. Once they figured out I was somewhat of a firebreathing liberal, though, most calmed down. The Black kids were wholly intrigued with the Civil War narrative/lecture I spun around the "find the line on page X and fill in the blank" assignment: blood so widely spilled at Antietam that it was literally ankle-deep in places; kids who were 14 signing up for one side or another; literal family infighting; the Irish brigades wasting each other at the behest of actually white Americans who would as readily call them "green niggers" as battle-brothers; freedmen who signed up with the North and found the more insidious, institutionalized, Northern brand of racism; poor whites and slaves who were conscripted by their owners or debt-holders to fight in their place; this poo poo was heavy. 3/4 of the class was really into it (I don't know how their regular teacher managed to make such an event boring) and the remaining quarter was being told to shut the gently caress up by the majority. After a while, I had more topical questions than I could answer alone. I had some other misadventures; I may return to tell of the Immortal Technique class and the stinkbomb terrorist.
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 14:22 |
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Sorry I'm not a better storyteller.  I've never tried writing these up before, so I'll try to make them more entertaining moving forward.Like, how about My Competition Things I have heard about (or personally seen) other subs doing: * Receiving a detailed, step-by-step, multi-page lesson plan from the teacher, with explicit instructions on how to do things like play a movie and hand out and collect a worksheet, returned the next day with "DID NOT UNDERSTAND" scrawled across the front as their only comment. * Sitting in front of the kids reading a newspaper. Fully open. So he couldn't actually see any of the kids. * Sending literally half the class out on "bathroom breaks" at the same time. * Leaving detailed notes for the teacher naming every individual student who did not show up with a pencil. * Explaining to a class of middle schoolers that they "would never amount to anything" because they were going to public school. (yes, that last one got summarily shitcanned from the district) I'm also going to totally steal a story from my friend, a Latin teacher, because it's awesome. So her school tended to use retired teachers as subs, and there was one guy -- a former coach, I think -- who was an rear end in a top hat in general and hated "nerds" in particular. His strategy for dealing with her relatively small AP section was to send as many as he was allowed to the computer lab, as many as he could to the library, and then just reading a newspaper in front of the remaining three or four students. While periodically insulting them for studying Latin. The second or third time they got stuck with him, at the beginning of class they refused to be sent away, explaining that they had important work to do. The sub grumbled but acquiesced, and shortly opened his newspaper. "Excuse me, sir," one of the kids said, "but you're supposed to be here to supervise us as an adult. Our safety is in your hands, and I don't feel safe when you're not watching us." The sub glared at the kid, but the rest of the students nodded earnestly, and so he put down his paper for a moment and made a big show of staring them down... ...for about thirty seconds. The instant he tried to pick his paper back up, another kid claimed to feel unsafe. And, long story short, the kids took turns ensuring that he spent the entire 50 minute period doing nothing but staring at them work silently on their packets. Any time he even looked away or at the clock, they would interrupt and remind him of his responsibility for their safety. The teacher came back the next day to find a note from her sub explaining that her AP class was the most obnoxious and poorly-behaved group of students he had ever seen. She baked them cookies. Proletariat Beowulf posted:"good kids" and a plastic plant Wow. I've never had anything quite that amazing. I did look up once from helping a student to see two others literally wrestling on the floor of the classroom. Proletariat Beowulf posted:This school is where I also discovered that many inner-city kids just plain can't read on-level. It's like they thought the pages that contained the information they wanted were hot goddamned lava. What I did discover is that they are incredible at crowdsourcing, because nearly the entire class finished the assignment by sharing the average .75 answers each individual found. One day, I had a teacher leave the kids a French packet to work on, and an answer key she made for them to come check their work. This quickly turned into the kids devising an elaborate system of taking turns "checking answers" in blocks of 3 or 4 and spreading them around. When I wised up and started hiding the sheet, reading out individual answers when requested, they actually started sneaking up behind me to read other ones over my shoulder. What's particularly amazing is when teachers leave clear, simple instructions that an entire class claims to have "no idea how to do." Like, I'm assuming a math teacher isn't going to introduce new concepts via a sub with a worksheet, but you would be amazed (or, maybe, you wouldn't) how many kids pretend to not know really basic stuff. I'll get a lesson plan from a social studies teacher that says "we have been learning how to use an index, here is some practice," then watch kids sit with books unopened on their desks until I go over and they claim, "Oh, I didn't know where the index was."
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 15:19 |
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An Adorable Puppy posted:Sorry I'm not a better storyteller. Don't listen to the douchebag. You're doing great. Also please note your thread move and the comment I've put in your OP 
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 15:40 |
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Thank you for this thread. My girlfriend ( ) is a TOC (teacher on call, it's like a sub) in British Columbia, Canada. From what I've heard, there are certainly some - shall we say, quirks - about the job, it seems. I'll be keeping posted - and I'll certainly ask her if she'd be down to share some stories for the thread as she doesn't have an SA account (yet.)
strangemusic fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 15:44 |
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 15:41 |
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My roommate is trying to get into substitute teaching. Do you have advice for the application process?
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 16:12 |
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GreenCard78 posted:My roommate is trying to get into substitute teaching. Do you have advice for the application process? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Okay, first off, the single biggest piece of advice I have is: unless you have a long-term plan of being a full-time teacher, stay the hell away. I cannot count the number of days, particularly in my first few months, I was able to get through only by repeating the mantra, "There is something I can take away from this experience to help me grow as a teacher." If I didn't have that ultimate goal, I would have said gently caress it almost immediately. As for "getting into" substitute teaching... it's going to vary from state to state and district to district, but around here all you need for a substitute license is an undergraduate diploma. Any diploma. That's it, end of qualification process. In my particular district, here is how the "application process" worked. The district runs an orientation session for new subs every couple of weeks. You have to register in advance for these sessions, and once you register go through a standard background check/fingerprinting/submit-your-resume sort of deal. But, barring an actual criminal record, that's just formality: the only point that matters is the orientation session. Here's how registration works: three weeks before the date of the orientation, registration opens up. By phone. By calling the one woman who runs the substitute program for the entire district. Starting at 7 in the morning. The day I became a substitute, I sat by my phone hitting redial literally every 15 seconds from 7 AM until about 8:45, listening to a lot of busy signals, until I finally got through and she signed me up. In other words, my district uses the "radio call-in show" method of vetting and hiring substitutes. I suppose there's something to be said for ensuring a certain level of bull-headed persistence...
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 16:40 |
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Yeah, the best way to become a sub is to have a pulse, based on stories I've heard from other teachers and administrators. I'm currently subbing now in a large metropolitan school district in the South after not getting a full-time position upon graduation from my MA program. It's only been a few months so far but I'm enjoying it in general (aside from having to wake up at 5:30 on days I sub). I'm certified in Social Studies and can fake English with no real problems, so I cherry-pick my assignments as well - mostly high school, but I just started subbing for middle schools as well and I appreciate the kids' enthusiasm compared to high-schoolers. The process of accepting assignments is all automated through a website and a barrage of robo-phone calls, so when possible I look a few days ahead and figure out what I want. The kids vary tremendously in capability and attitude. Those in the easier, general classes have been made to feel either that they're personally dumb or that school is pointless, so getting them to do stuff can be a chore. There are always students in those classes that are trying to get out of that milieu however, and I make sure I'm there for them. Since I do history there's also a level of disconnect with a lot of students as frequently they don't look anything like the people in the textbooks and the master narratives of US and World History are largely bullshit that kids in high school can see through. So I try to make things interesting for them. I crack jokes, make pop-culture references, and generally treat them like I don't hate or fear them. The biggest advantage I have when I walk into a classroom is that while I'm only a sub, I own it. You know how people can infiltrate places where they're not supposed to be if they just act like they know what they're doing? That's what I do, and I get accepted pretty quick. What bugs me are lousy teachers. When I'm selecting assignments online, I try to only accept those with notes from the teacher - things like "this is my parking spot," "we're working on the causes of WWI," or "I've got a powerpoint loaded for you on my laptop because I came in last night at 6 while coughing up a lung to make sure everything was set up." That lets me know that they give a poo poo. If I don't see those notes, I'm likely going to arrive at 6:45am with a post-it on the desk saying nothing but "go ask Mrs. Scheissficker if she still has that DVD. I think the DVD player works now." I've distributed tests with question numbers out of order and questions repeated three times, horribly meaningless worksheets, assignments that take students 1/3 the projected time to complete, and all sorts of other crap. I realize that when teachers call in sick, they have no idea who's going to take the job so they need to provide something that can be accomplished by a troglodyte. That's why I've been lucky enough to meet various teachers around different schools who care, and who have my phone number and email so that they can ask me a few days in advance to help them out. Then they send me their daily lecture and a copy of the day's assignment or project, and I spend an hour or two boning up on the content so I can do it well. This way I actually get to teach instead of just baby-sit and make sure nobody molests the plants. My teachers love me to death and my students do too - numerous teachers have told me that their students would take any class I taught if I worked full-time at their school.
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 17:28 |
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Gumby posted:assignments that take students 1/3 the projected time to complete... This way I actually get to teach instead of just baby-sit and make sure nobody molests the plants. I have a collection of mini-lesson plans that I carry with me in case this happens, which is fairly often. They`re all on History (one of my teachables) and are things that I find interesting personally, such as the Battle of Agincourt or the Norman Invasion, that I like to share with them. I`ve found ``You don`t need to know this...`` to be the most effective way of getting heads turned your way and not feel like a babysitter, and they always seem to enjoy it!
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 18:53 |
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Professor Shark posted:I have a collection of mini-lesson plans that I carry with me in case this happens, which is fairly often. They`re all on History (one of my teachables) and are things that I find interesting personally, such as the Battle of Agincourt or the Norman Invasion, that I like to share with them. Hm, I like that. Going to have to use that. One of my problems is that as a sub I usually don't have access to teachers' computers or the school's wi-fi, which cuts back on things I can do. But I can bring my laptop in anyway. Most of the time I'm ok, but there was one time last week that I was stuck.
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 19:17 |
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hopterque posted:Also how can you not get a decent (or any) full time teaching position with a degree out of princeton considering how desperate all of the country is for even remotely qualified teachers? Just for informational purposes, since most people aren't familiar with the process of becoming a public school teacher, it's not like a regular job where you apply and interview and hopefully have a job. Disclaimer: the process varies by state. Also, I haven't gone through this personally, I just have several friends that have been very sad about the proceedure, so I've just got this vague sense of how it works. You almost certainly need a teaching certification for your state. This does not come with your undergraduate degree unless your undergraduate degree specifically includes it. This means additional courses following undergrad, during which you'll have to find some other way to make money. Some states will not give you a permanent teaching spot until you have public school teaching experience. How do you get this experience? You can work as some sort of "assistant teacher" in another teacher's classroom, or you can sub. Other states will reduce the amount of courses you have to take if you're willing to be one of these "assistant teachers" for a year or two. If I recall correctly, these positions aren't paid (or else my friend wouldn't be working at Panera while getting her teaching license?). Unlike fields like programming, where good bosses will hire you even without the certifications listed on their ads, public schools are more heavily regulated and actually have to follow their requirements. I'd be surprised if Mr. Unpronouncable Name were even allowed to apply to full-time positions as a recent college grad.
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 19:40 |
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Amara posted:I'd be surprised if Mr. Unpronouncable Name were even allowed to apply to full-time positions as a recent college grad. This is more or less it. I've subbed for the period between finishing my grad-level ed classes and taking care of the miscellaneous other requirements for licensure; I've only been eligible to apply for real jobs for a couple of weeks now. Gumby posted:What bugs me are lousy teachers. When I'm selecting assignments online, I try to only accept those with notes from the teacher - things like "this is my parking spot," "we're working on the causes of WWI," or "I've got a powerpoint loaded for you on my laptop because I came in last night at 6 while coughing up a lung to make sure everything was set up." That lets me know that they give a poo poo. If I don't see those notes, I'm likely going to arrive at 6:45am with a post-it on the desk saying nothing but "go ask Mrs. Scheissficker if she still has that DVD. I think the DVD player works now." I've distributed tests with question numbers out of order and questions repeated three times, horribly meaningless worksheets, assignments that take students 1/3 the projected time to complete, and all sorts of other crap. I have to admit this surprises me somewhat -- in two years, I don't think I've ever worked for a teacher who did not have at least a rudimentary but usable lesson plan. When I first started, I worked out a couple emergency lesson plans, but I've never had occasion to use them. I do occasionally have kids who finish very early, but generally I figure that if they've done what the teacher wanted, the rest of the time is theirs (within reason). That reminds me, though: Yes, Teachers, We Are Judging You It's truly impressive to me how incredibly much I can tell about a teacher's general control of their classroom based on the situation I'm presented with when I show up. I work at the same 8-10 schools a lot, and eventually see the same kids over and over (not that I can recognize them myself, but), and the contrasts in behavior in the same kids between different rooms is staggering. I can tell the difference between a poorly-run classroom, a well-managed classroom, and a well-managed classroom where the teacher has also thought to communicate their expectations for behavior when they're absent. When your kids walk in, see me behind your desk and literally fall to their knees, shouting, "Oh, thank god, there's a sub!" it may or may not be an indictment of your teaching, but it sure as hell is a warning to me that I've got a group of kids who fundamentally don't respect the classroom they're inhabiting. Sometimes I'll get a teacher who seems to subscribe to a sort of cargo-cult theory of classroom management: they'll leave me one or two specific instructions about classroom procedures (like "we stay in our desks until the bell rings" or "everybody takes out their planner at the beginning of the period"), and if I remind the kids they'll generally do it, but everything else is completely out the window. Like, the classes who had to stay in their seats until the bell rang? They were awesome at that, but it took them an average of five minutes to get into those seats at the start of class. Or, on a less preachy note: for god's sake, guys, please don't leave your workspace in a state where I don't want to come into physical contact. I've had a day where the entire desk surface, including much of the keyboard, was coated in miscellaneous crumbs. I had a day where sitting down on the chair left my rear end completely covered in chalk. I had a day where I arrived to find a dead mouse caught on a glue trap about three feet behind the podium. Okay, maybe that last one wasn't your fault as much. But I also had a day working for a middle school science teacher who called in before class to check that I understood everything -- normally a great sign! -- and when I mentioned that I had seen a live mouse running around, said "Oh yeah, they escaped from their cage a couple weeks ago." I'll be eating my lunch in the staffroom.
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 20:08 |
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Amara posted:Just for informational purposes, since most people aren't familiar with the process of becoming a public school teacher, it's not like a regular job where you apply and interview and hopefully have a job. It must vary greatly depending on how badly the state needs teachers, because in New Mexico where I went to high school and where my mom recently (a bit more than a year ago) finished her degree, they will hire you to teach algebra 2 if you have a community college certificate to teach PE, that's how desperate they are. My Mom found a position basically before she even graduated, but wound up being lucky enough to snag a job teaching German and English for the department of defense at the Seoul American High School in South Korea. Oh, and sorry about being a jerk in my first post!
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| # ? Feb 18, 2013 20:41 |
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Man, thank you for this thread. Subbing purgatory is the best and worst experience simultaneously. I'm in my second year of subbing right now. Certified Social Studies but Michigan right now is poo poo for jobs. There are cuts everywhere and the union is slowly getting worked over. I don't really cherry pick my jobs so I get work 5 days a week most weeks but I teach a lot of AP Science whatever. I hate to say but I do read in some high school classes where I can go around the room and ask a million times if they need help and they don't. Then they do... their work. I hate that it is boring when high schoolers behave but it kind of is. I really enjoy middle school because the lesson plans generally throw me into the mix of things even if it isn't in my bag of tricks. I've done auto shop, wood shop, gym, AP everything, resource room, co-taught everything. It is soul crushing on days like "show a movie in a foreign language" but when kids ask questions and I get to work the room it reminds me why I went through all of this. The best and worst feeling is when I get math or science at a high middle school or mid high school level and students express that I teach better than their teacher. I actually kind of enjoy math IF the teacher lets me lecture and it isn't just give them busy work and read your book. So much of the poo poo they are given on subs days is busy work. The kids know it too. I had a kid puke on my third day as subbing, that freaked me out. Got it taken care of but man it caught me off guard.
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| # ? Feb 19, 2013 03:39 |
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Jakse posted:I had a kid puke on my third day as subbing, that freaked me out. Got it taken care of but man it caught me off guard. While not my first day, the first day we had new computers, a kid upchucked on one of the keyboards. We wiped it off as best as we could and after a few days, went back to using it. Never told the kids about it. I was a paraprofessional for roughly four years at a middle school. I ran our little computer lab, where classes would come with their teacher to work on projects, do test prep, etc. Depending on teacher, they'd send their kids on a day they were going to be out. It was easy on the substitute, but hell on me because we only had a few substitutes worth anything. One browsed want ads on a side computer, which left his back turned to the kids. He was later hired at the high school to teach. Another, a former teacher whose weirdness got him the boot even with tenure, spent his entire day looking up renaissance fairs and (U.S.) Civil War reenacting. The kids were always an extension of their teacher's personality. There was one poor science teacher who was the sweetest thing in the world, but somehow was completely awful at classroom presence, even compared to me. I scare nobody. Even the good kids would misbehave for her and that caused me to snap the one time I did, asking them to show her some respect. Didn't work. There was another who didn't believe in evolution and even told her students this (we were in the south, the administration was just as far right), but she was so good at classroom management that I was willing to accept it as a trade-off. Her kids were always good when she was gone. Always left more than adequate lesson plans, too. When left with inadequate stuff, I always called an audible for the good of the sub. If they didn't have enough to do in the computer lab, you knew the teacher hadn't bothered to leave any classroom stuff for them. I'm looking at you, 6th grade science teacher. If the kids were bad, I'd make them do more busy work, test prep stuff. If they were good, educational computer games or videos of their choosing from BrainPOP. If they were great, actual computer games, like pinball or solitaire. There was one time I was pressed into emergency computer lab/sub position when one had to leave early. She asked them to do an educational video off BrainPOP and I made a deal with them. Watch any science video off the site. Any, I don't care, that will fulfill the teacher's wishes. Then you play games, watch more videos, talk very quietly. For once, both sides truly understood one another and we had a pretty good afternoon.
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| # ? Feb 19, 2013 04:06 |
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So, speaking of bodily fluids in computer labs... I've had precisely two days in my time as a sub where I took a job that turned out to be elementary. One was listed as "Media," which I thought meant "Library" since all our libraries are now called "Media Centers" and librarians are "Media Specialists." Nope: turns out I was in charge of a computer lab, into which various elementary teachers would dump their kids each hour. Mostly this wasn't too bad -- the computers were locked down well enough that there wasn't much they could do except play around with the appropriate software, and most of them were eager to play with it anyway. (Though, hell if I know what possible educational benefit second graders are expected to gain from watching a lovely flash animation of flamingos dancing a can-can, over and over and over again for most of an hour. But I digress.) My real problem was that I had no idea to what extent I was supposed to be responsible for monitoring the kids, for instance with bathroom breaks. With older kids, it's easy: just don't let more than one out at a time, and make sure they actually come back within, you know, the same period. But first graders: am I allowed to let them wander the halls down to the bathroom unescorted? Does it cause problems for anyone if I let the three of them begging to go pee leave at the same time? I know these are stupid questions; my point is how woefully, fundamentally unprepared I was, and when I feel unprepared I sort of go into hyperfocused worry mode. As it turns out, however, my worrying was moot because after letting out the three kids who needed to go, another girl sitting at her computer raises her hand and calmly explains that she, uh, didn't make it. So that was fun, and also how I learned that elementary offices apparently keep spare pairs of pants around, just in case. The other time, I signed up to work for a "Theater/Dance" teacher at a performing arts magnet... that turned out to be K-8. This ended up being mostly awesome, as the kids were super-enthusiastic to get up and move around, and I got to help them judge freeze dance contests, limbo, all sorts of stuff. (It's also the only time in my entire experience when the "watch a video" option, in this case The Nutcracker, was the less preferred one. With one class that was behaving poorly, I even used it as punishment: "Okay, if we can't listen to directions, then I guess we have to watch a movie...") The younger classes, K-2, got to play a supremely silly game called "magic bowls," which worked as follows: they lined up at one corner of the classroom and ran to the opposite corner, where I was standing with a tambourine. When they reached me, they got to jump up and hit the drum in midair. Oh, and halfway across the floor, they had to do a "cool jump" across a row of wide, upside-down plastic bowls, about 3-4 inches tall. They loving loved this game. In the first two classes, we must have played it for upwards of 10 minutes, going through the line multiple times, before my arm got tired enough that I needed to move them along. The kindergarteners, however, got maybe halfway through the class before a girl somehow managed to miss her jump, land on top of one of the bowls, skid out, twist her ankle and begin screaming and bawling in the middle of the floor. So that was fun .
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| # ? Feb 19, 2013 05:04 |
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I see a lot of discussion on classes being good or bad from teacher to teacher, but what about from period to period? Were there any cases where, say, the third period class was excellent but fifth period didn't give a poo poo? My junior high and high schools had seven periods. Staggered lunches meant your lunch was either after 3rd period, in the middle of 4th period (what the gently caress.), or after 4th period. I imagine 4th period was just lovely for all the teachers. 
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| # ? Feb 19, 2013 05:59 |
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During the worst of the dot-com bubble bust, my dad was kicked out of his programming job and ended up subbing at the local high school for a year as a way of making ends meet. Now I know my dad's not the master of all subjects, but what he is good at is getting along with folks. This turned out to be incredibly useful when he was subbing; he'd quickly spot a few students who could be relied upon to work as informal adjutants, and then turn to them for additional support whenever the class needed additional guidance or discipline. This approach worked doubly well for him because he had already established a strong rapport with some of the worst students outside of the classroom, in the Boy Scout program where they spent all their time fondling knives and burning things. Following one of his first times subbing, wherein one troublesome student acted up, cussed in my dad's face and then stormed out of the room, one of the burnouts from Scouts met my dad in the hallway, shook his hand, and let him know that if any students gave him trouble in the classroom, he ought to let the burnout know who was causing problems. My dad took him up on that offer. A week later, when subbing for another class, the student who had originally caused trouble came rushing up to my dad between periods. "I didn't know you knew those guys!" were the first words out of his mouth, followed by a stream of apologies which did not stop until my dad forgave him Don Corleone-style. I'm not entirely sure my dad was the best sub. He was good at getting along with most students and only came down hard on the folks who just would not back down. I was in high school at the same time he subbed there, but most of my knowledge of his style came secondhand from his stories and the stories of my classmates who got to deal with him. What's the usual recommended approach for dealing with all the students? Is leaning on any particular ones to help out actually recommended or discouraged? If you had a what basically amounted to a gang at your beck and call at the school, would you use them?
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| # ? Feb 19, 2013 06:51 |
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^ We were encouraged to find what I call the class "Swords", aka the students that could hurt or help you, and get them on your side quickly so that the rest of the class follows along. It's pretty easy to find them, their always the "Big Personalities". Regarding puke, when I was in for a grade 2 class someone pooped on the floor in the boys washroom. While I was on the phone calling the custodian, one of the boys in my class ran out to look at it, became nausea, and threw up all over the poop. Yeah.
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| # ? Feb 19, 2013 10:10 |
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I'm a qualified, full-time teacher now in Singapore, but six years ago I was waiting to enter university and took up our local equivalent of substitute teaching (only slightly different, because I wasn't actually subbing for anyone; rather I was to be given classes to manage on my own right from the beginning of the year). First day of school, I turned up for work and they gave me a textbook. Second day of school: they tell me I can enter the classroom and start teaching. Without any training whatsoever, without any lesson plans, with just the textbook I got the day before. I mean, I knew I would have to be managing classes on my own, but I expected maybe a few more days of observing other teachers at least. Now that was a learning curve! I made plenty of mistakes but I learnt a lot. Being thrown in the deep end is an underrated way of learning.
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| # ? Feb 19, 2013 14:00 |
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Wastrel_ posted:I'm a qualified, full-time teacher now in Singapore, but six years ago I was waiting to enter university and took up our local equivalent of substitute teaching (only slightly different, because I wasn't actually subbing for anyone; rather I was to be given classes to manage on my own right from the beginning of the year). Yeah, student teaching is great in this respect but for subbing it can be intimidating because as the title says, it is not your classroom. It will never be your room. You are a nomad doing a different thing every single day barring getting lucky and getting a long term placement. As far as what works, yeah, finding the snitches and suck-ups and getting the kids with "personality" on your side is usually the way to go. It is nice because then you know the difference between "we already did that chapter" being a bullshit way to get out of work and "we already did that chapter" meaning the teacher may have been hasty writing the lesson plans. As far as class variety hour to hour it happens but it usually isn't as big a deal. Sure US History 9 may take more management than Geo 10 but if the teacher has a good system and good plans it isn't an issue. If a teacher has a challenging class and takes the time to note it down I know that teacher pays attention and already has strategies in place. You do get blindsided though. Had a 50 kid (hooray union busting) honors math class that was the worst loving thing. First of all, imagine how loud 50 8th graders can be. Then I'm lucky I didn't have a heart attack trying to answer 50 kids worth of questions in a short amount of time. I had to move half of the kids into an annex area and shift back and forth but I'm sure some kids had unanswered questions because there just wasn't enough of me. Then I had a class of 17 for honors math and it was the best. They asked lots of questions but who cares, there are only 17 so they can ask questions. An actual horror story was the day technology died. Had a freshman science class where sure enough, the lesson plan was "pop in the VHS." I had had a rough week, so I guess it didn't occur to me to not trust this teacher and that everything is wrong. Had my prep period and only in the last 15 min did I start setting everything up. Well, VHS player didn't recognize the tape, but then proceeded to eat it anyway. Full on chewing it up and ruining it with film flaking off. Had the media center dude come down but he wouldn't give me another tape in case the player hungered for blood. By now I have a class and I'm just trying to get this poo poo to work (there are no back up sheets or anything too). Then I decide to try and find the video (or a video) on youtube and project it. Nope. Projector in that room had been broken for a month. Then I get the media center dude back again and get a cable to go from computer to TV. Nope, TV doesn't recognize the computer. In the end the whole class gathered around the computer with the volume all the way up (speakers were broken too) to watch the 30 minute video on volcanoes. Oh wait, it ended up not being the right video.
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| # ? Feb 19, 2013 14:53 |
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Jakse posted:Had a 50 kid (hooray union busting) honors math class that was the worst loving thing. What on Earth is this? Where are you teaching that this is considered an acceptable idea? How can learning take place there?
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| # ? Feb 20, 2013 00:21 |
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This story isn't really funny (though I do have a few of those), so steer clear if you're looking for laughs. There's really no huge moral or life revelation, either. I worked as a sub for a year or so after I finished my BA. I live in a rural area in the South, and all I had to do to become a sub was submit to a background check. Seriously. My first day I had to teach a Vo. Ag. class (think farming engineering, farm animal care and safety, etc.) This class is taught in a portable building in the woods behind the school itself, so any kind of disciplinarian help is literally a car-ride down the road. My first class comes in and everything is going fine. Kids are chatting and working on a worksheet which is pretty much all you can ask for in this school district. I'm answering a question when I suddenly hear a meaty *THUD*. I turn around and see one student standing and giggling with the 3-4 others sitting around him as if they're trying to hide something. One chair is empty. As I walk around to them I notice a body on the floor. In the twenty seconds my back was turned, two students had stood up and played "the choking game." If you've never heard of it, basically one kid chokes another out so they can all laugh about it. Of course, I lose my poo poo and call the office. In a few minutes the Assistant Principal is lecturing the entire class. He's a man I know well. He was my basketball coach in 6th grade. I hated sports and thought of him as a slave driver. I hated him for making us run laps and exhaust ourselves for his amusement, but seeing now that I'm an adult I'm struck by something I can't initially name. I realize it's his suit. As a coach, he always wore button-down cowboy shirts and Wranglers when he coached, and this suit looks cheap and awkward on his lanky frame. Then I listen to the lecture he's giving about being safe. One line sticks out: "You choke him and he goes to sleep, he might never wake up. We don't want anybody to get hurt." Of course, the class just shifts their eyes around, giggling at this guy for being so obviously serious. I'm kinda thinking the same as them (as I think most people initially would). Reading story this as I type it seems a bit lame and melodramatic, but something about the way he says this touches me. He really means it. He's not just giving the ole "Stop screwin' around before someone loses an eye," speech. He's not even mad about being called. I realize how tired he looks. He really just doesn't want anyone to get hurt doing something stupid, and he's making a sincere attempt to level with these kids. This is one of those epiphany moments in your life where you suddenly see a situation from every possible angle. I remember being the kid doing dumb stuff then laughing as the teacher earnestly pleaded with us to not do something stupid that would get someone hurt. How lame, right? Man, adults have no sense of humor. Now I'm seeing the scene from the adult perspective, and it just makes me so sad for the Asst. Principal. He's not a jerk anymore; he's not a slave driver. He's just an old man in a suit who is reaching out a little. Wow, that ended up a lot more serious than I expected. To be clear, this wasn't some life-altering event that moved me to pick up and travel the world or something; just a story that has meaning. Long story short, the Asst. Principal gave his speech and left. The kids didn't really give a poo poo and continued generally being dicks after he left, but something about this memory moved me. Sorry if that's a bit anti-climactic.
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| # ? Feb 26, 2013 18:41 |
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I enjoyed your story  Sometimes little things stick with you.
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| # ? Feb 26, 2013 22:34 |
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I once had a sub that looked up porn on the computer, picked his nose very obviously, and wiped his boogers on the desk. Not kidding. He didn't sub again. Very interesting thread!
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 00:52 |
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I subbed for about 7 months before getting my current (loving AWESOME) gig. I'll share a story or two. Let's start with Why Most Coaches Get a Bad Rap as Teachers. If it sounds like I still carry a grudge over this, well, I do. So I was sort of the on-call sub for a local high school, meaning that I got a job there basically every single day, and was hoping to end up working there. This was in 2002, and we were approaching the first anniversary of 9/11. I check my schedule and holy poo poo, I have a history class on that day. loving awesome! It's a couple days away, so I go to see the teacher to see what he wants me to do for this once-in-a-lifetime historic day. Well, the teacher happens to be the golf & tennis coach. Oh, poo poo. Right away when I mention that it's the 9/11 anniversary he looks at me like I'm a loving idiot. Coach: "Yeah, guess it is. So what?" JS: "So, do you have a cool lesson for me to do that day? Something about 9/11?" Coach: "Nope. We have block schedule that day, so they'll be watching this movie." He puts on the desk, I poo poo you not, a copy of Disney's Hercules. Wait, what? What the gently caress does this have to do with anything? loving Hercules? Seriously? On the first anniversary of 9/11? JS: "So, uh, is this video for a test or something?" Coach: "Nope. Just something for them to watch while I'm not here." JS: "Well, would you mind if I did a lesson on 9/11?" Coach: "Whatever. Just keep 'em quiet." <--verbatim, people... just keep 'em quiet. Awesome! gently caress yeah! So I go home and I put together a cool 9/11 lesson. The day finally comes, and I teach my awesome 9/11 lesson. You can say kids are jaded and don't give a gently caress and ignore substitutes, but that did not happen on the first anniversary of the Eleventh. I had every single class rapt with attention, literally tears in their eyes. I had, in every class, 3-4 kids come up after class and say thank you for the lesson. That's a great feeling when you're "only" a sub. I go home on top of the world and more determined than ever to teach history as a career. The next day I go back up to the high school and have an SLD class I was familiar with and had another great day. I go home and check my jobs on the phone system. I knew I had 2 more weeks of work lined up, but wanted to see if I had anything else. "You have no current jobs." What the gently caress? I had more than 10 this morning? So I call the secretary in charge of substitutes. "Uh, JS, you need to come talk to the principal." Now I don't know what the gently caress. So I go see the principal, who I will charitably describe as a weak-willed alcoholic who was constantly walked over and almost degraded by her teachers, just the antithesis of a leader. I go in her office where I was informed: 1.I'm not coming back to this high school because 2.I abandoned the actual teacher's 9/11 lesson plan and 3.He was planning to test on that movie and now he can't so 4.I'm unprofessional. Now, I'm a pretty calm guy most of the time, it takes a lot to rile me up. So I told her about how I'd gone to see the guy and gotten his permission. I then asked her what standard Disney's Hercules might meet in an American history class, and how anyone would justify that. Then I was informed: 1.THE COACH HIMSELF is the one who came and complained I abandoned his lesson plan even though 2.He had told me multiple times how important it was to watch this movie and 3.He had suggested and the principal agreed that such an awful, untrustworthy person shouldn't get jobs here. (notice there's no answer to the standards question; I even asked again but well you know) Well, at this point I got a bit upset but whatever the gently caress, your loss. So I left. I really wanted to go down to the dude's room and poke my head in and call him a liar, but figured it wasn't worth it. So a day later I find out from my sister, who actually attends this high school at the time, what actually happened. On 9/12 the coach came into his room, told his kids (as he apparently did every single day of the entire year) to grab the worksheet and get to work out of the book while he went to his desk and read the sports section. A couple of the kids grumbled and he asked what the gently caress, and apparently one of the kids straight up said to him: "You really suck at this job compared to Mr. Spectre." Yeah, that's right bitch. They're calling you out to your face now that they've seen how their class should be. Welp. Everyone knows when you're a worthless piece of poo poo scamming money out of people for a job you aren't doing, you really, really hate to be called on it. So the guy marched up to the principal and flat lied about me and cost me any chance at working there ever again. What a shithead! Now that I actually work in this district I've run into him a few times, and have made it a point to walk over to him and just smile and ask, "Tried anything new in your class this year, or is it still worksheets and newspapers?" He fumes, but can't do poo poo because it's pretty obvious I'd throw him through a wall if it came to a fight. It's incredibly enjoyable to do this, btw. "Do the kids still call you 'Coach Worksheet?' Have you used a whole pen's worth of ink this year marking those checks up in the corner whether any of the answers are right or not?"  That's right, coach, laughing last, laughing best.I do want to say that last year I got a new history teacher at my school who was hired in part to be the baseball coach and he's loving awesome, relentlessly positive person whose team motto is "I am a student of this school before I am an athlete of this school." So not all coaches are utter poo poo. But man, that one lying fucker was, and is. Tomorrow I might type up how I eventually got my insanely awesome this-poo poo-should-be-in-a-movie revenge on that watery so-called principal. Or how my first fight as a sub involved a girl ripping both of another girl's big dangly earrings right out of her loving ears. Good times, good times. JonathonSpectre fucked around with this message at Feb 27, 2013 around 06:42 |
| # ? Feb 27, 2013 06:38 |
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JonathonSpectre posted:Coach is a shithead. Please do! Your first story was very cathartic for me, and I'd like to hear about the principal as well.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 10:55 |
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JonathonSpectre posted:Now that I actually work in this district I've run into him a few times, and have made it a point to walk over to him and just smile and ask, "Tried anything new in your class this year, or is it still worksheets and newspapers?" He fumes, but can't do poo poo because it's pretty obvious I'd throw him through a wall if it came to a fight. It's incredibly enjoyable to do this, btw. "Do the kids still call you 'Coach Worksheet?' Have you used a whole pen's worth of ink this year marking those checks up in the corner whether any of the answers are right or not?" You probably haven't noticed this but there are actually two shitheads in your story.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 16:46 |
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gizmojumpjet posted:You probably haven't noticed this but there are actually two shitheads in your story. I'm curious, but are you a substitute? It is really hard to describe it to people who aren't. You go to school for at least four years, 5 if you do a full year of unpaid internship, get highly certified in something only to be "just a sub." The few days that you get to actually teach a lesson rather than give a worksheet or show a movie are so empowering and liberating and to have it taken away like that would be the worst thing. That and most teachers really appreciate it when a substitute tries to coordinate with them and plan and actually accomplish things in class so to be snubbed like that would be the worst. Cheers on getting a job in that district. Still bummed I have to leave my current district this year and probably sub another year or two before I can full-time (hooray job market in Michigan). Also to answer the person about the 50 student classrooms, I think I mentioned it there but yeah, this district exploded during the housing bubble. A new High School and Elementary School were built, there were portables put on all the schools, and the High School was given an annex within 3 years of its creation. When I left as a student in 2006, we had 26-30 student classes and when I came back as a sub, it was 34-50 depending on class. The 50s were rare, it was just some honors and other niche classes but yeah, there were tons of layoffs when the housing bubble burst and the union must have had to make huge concessions. This district was really caught up in the housing bubble. They built two subdivisions with million dollar houses if that gives you an idea.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 17:08 |
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bootsy posted:"You choke him and he goes to sleep, he might never wake up. We don't want anybody to get hurt." Of course, the class just shifts their eyes around, giggling at this guy for being so obviously serious. I'm kinda thinking the same as them (as I think most people initially would). An old headteacher I had had to give this speech a few times. Poor bastard had watched a child die in front of him at his last school due to similar horseplay.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 17:16 |
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JonathonSpectre posted:Tomorrow I might type up how I eventually got my insanely awesome this-poo poo-should-be-in-a-movie revenge on that watery so-called principal. Or how my first fight as a sub involved a girl ripping both of another girl's big dangly earrings right out of her loving ears. Good times, good times. A thousand times yes. Also, OP got any more for us? Really enjoy these.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 17:55 |
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Jakse posted:I'm curious, but are you a substitute? It is really hard to describe it to people who aren't. I have interviewed, hired, trained, and fired substitutes. I've never been one myself, but that doesn't matter. What the coach did was wrong. The confrontational, unprofessional, nonproductive internet-tough-guy bull poo poo (which, honestly, probably belongs in shitthatdidnthappen.txt) that JonathonSpectre describes was also wrong. You don't have to be a substitute or a teacher to see that.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 18:01 |
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gizmojumpjet posted:I have interviewed, hired, trained, and fired substitutes. I've never been one myself, but that doesn't matter. What the coach did was wrong. The confrontational, unprofessional, nonproductive internet-tough-guy bull poo poo (which, honestly, probably belongs in shitthatdidnthappen.txt) that JonathonSpectre describes was also wrong. Yeah but again, having been where he was, I can sympathize even if I don't think he was being mature about it on any sort of level. On top of all of the frustrations, I already expressed, having to see that coach each day is also infuriating because in a lovely teaching market, those burnt out teachers should just retire. There are so many young, enthusiastic, well trained people out there trying to find jobs in teaching while 50 and 60 year old movie and worksheet teachers just do nothing. I'm all for the protections of the the union but it is frustrating to read or see poo poo like that as an outsider and wonder why that guy has a job when I don't when he clearly doesn't care.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 18:18 |
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gizmojumpjet posted:You probably haven't noticed this but there are actually two shitheads in your story. HEGEL SMOKE A J fucked around with this message at Feb 27, 2013 around 20:17 |
| # ? Feb 27, 2013 20:14 |
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Jakse posted:Yeah but again, having been where he was, I can sympathize even if I don't think he was being mature about it on any sort of level. Except they can't retire because their pensions are underfunded. I actually came here to say drop the "two shitheads" issue.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 21:08 |
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A friend of my mother's was a substitute teacher, and when she turned to write something on the board someone snipped her braid right off. Her hair was long too, the braid reached past the small of her back.
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 21:14 |
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HEGEL SMOKE A J posted:A friend of my mother's was a substitute teacher, and when she turned to write something on the board someone snipped her braid right off. Her hair was long too, the braid reached past the small of her back.  That is horrifying.Anyway, sorry for vanishing -- shortly after my last post, I had an intensely negative subbing experience and didn't trust myself to have a sense of humor about it for a while. Short version: I made a genuine but (imo) insignificant error in not regulating some technically inappropriate but non-destructive or -distracting student behavior at the end of a particularly lovely day (one of those where a kid straight up told me "We've chased every sub out of here"), a parent just happened to be wandering by and decided to complain to the principal and boom, now I'm banned from working at one of my favorite schools. There's more to the story, obviously, but I'm still having trouble staying calm about it. On the plus side, the next two days in a row after that incident, I got to go above and beyond and teach miniature lessons instead of just handing out worksheets, so hey, gently caress you That One School. Anyway, here's a thing I wrote up a while ago. I Am Not Allowed To Hit Students Actually, as a sub, I'm not allowed to have any physical contact whatsoever -- the concern is something like elementary schoolers hugging their sub at the end of the day and then telling parents "We had a sub and he hugged me!" but the end result is that when kids show up and want to, I dunno, shake my hand or fist bump because they find it funny, I'm not allowed to participate. And as far as my official statement is concerned, I follow this rule to the letter. But man, every once in a while I get a student that I just want to smack. This was also true, of course, when I student taught, but there I could channel that frustration into building a more positive long-term relationship by way of addressing behavior issues. As a sub, my options are to a) think mean thoughts or b) get over it. Normally I'm pretty good at choosing b -- the first couple months did a lot to thicken my skin. Sometimes, though, a student will just be so audaciously malicious to me, personally, that option a comes back on the table. Like, I both am and look like a nerd. I'm a white guy with glasses who uses big words all the time, and despite being in my late twenties still occasionally get skin blemishes apparently held over from puberty. Mostly I accept this, embrace my nerdiness and turn it into enthusiasm for the material. I love when a teacher leaves me a lesson plan that gives me the opportunity to actually teach (or at least tutor), to work with the students and help them understand. Since they don't know me, I generally try to be extra gung-ho to make up for the potential awkwardness. So it was that I was really trying to get this one girl to stop chatting with her friends and focus on her math. I'm kneeling next to her desk, walking her through the algebra, when she turns to me and stares really intently at my face. As I'm in the middle of a sentence, she interrupts, pointing at my chin: "You've got a zit right... there, and..." she moves her finger a bit, "there, and there." This done, she pulls back and looks straight into my eyes. I'm so completely flabbergasted at this that I'm not entirely sure what to say next; I think I came up with something like, "You're very perceptive. Now do your work in silence or I will kick the poo poo out of your smug little face," but that may be wishful thinking. (I wondered afterwards whether I could have written her up for rudeness, but how would I defend that? It's not like she said anything that wasn't literally true...) Another time, there was a period where I was subbing for a lot of teachers on the same team at a middle school, so I was seeing the same kids over and over for a few weeks. Thus was I introduced to Muhammad, an afro'd little punk who, unlike most of the other disruptive kids I deal with daily, had a streak of real malice behind his misbehavior. Since I was at the same school so often, I met many of the teachers I was working for, and they agreed that he was just awful, that he went out of his way to actively disrupt class for its own sake. I'd say he was "one of those," except I haven't actually met too many others like him. Anyway, when he met me for the first time he decided that, since I was a white guy with dark brown hair and glasses, I must be Harry Potter. And, every five minutes or so throughout class, he would remind everybody of this brilliant observation by shouting out "Be careful Harry!" or "What about Voldemort?" Every single time I had him. And if I did get him to quiet down (with threat or execution of sending him to a buddy room, usually), he would start to pick fights with the other kids, moving from his carefully assigned (and generally isolated) seat to sit with groups that didn't want him, that sort of thing. There was never any one specific explosive incident, but by the end of the school year we coridally hated each other. This one has a happy ending, though! The next year I was working at a high school one day when I saw his name -- one of the very few student names I ever learned as a sub -- on my attendance sheet. I braced myself, and sure enough when he entered, now a freshman, his eyes went wide and he shouted, "I REMEMBER YOU!" But that was it -- no "Harry Potter," no picking fights, really only minimal effort from me needed to keep him on task. At the end of the period, I caught him on the way out the door and said, "Hey, I just wanted to thank you for how awesome you were in class today. I was definitely a bit nervous when I saw you on my roster again." "Yeah," he shrugged sheepishly. "I was pretty messed up in middle school."
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| # ? Feb 27, 2013 22:50 |
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| # ? May 22, 2013 20:42 |
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An Adorable Puppy posted:(I wondered afterwards whether I could have written her up for rudeness, but how would I defend that? It's not like she said anything that wasn't literally true...) I make it a policy not to get offended by the truth. Add to that the fact that she was clearly trying to get a rise out of you, and casual agreement or a mild joke is (IMO) the right response: "Yeah, I noticed those too when I was shaving this morning [sad face]. Since your counting skills are clearly up to par, how about we move on to trying to isolate the variable here..." I'm not a sub or a teacher, but I tutor and have volunteered at a few schools. It was very rare, but (having once been a stereotypical fat goon, though I've dropped most of it since) I did get the occasional "hey, you're fat" comment. My general response was to rub my belly and say either "You better believe it!" or "Don't talk about my baby that way!" (I'm a dude). It's not the reaction they were looking for, and they see you're not ashamed by it, so they generally just laugh at your joke and move on. bootsy posted:I live in a rural area in the South, and all I had to do to become a sub was submit to a background check. Seriously. A friend of mine did the same, in Georgia. The requirements were a high school diploma and "passing" an 8-hour orientation course (which, when he took it, was actually 4 hours long). Funny thing, he and every other teacher I've talked to about it has said middle schoolers are the biggest pain in the rear end (elementary schoolers generally haven't learned that "authority" figures can be shat on with relative impunity, and high schoolers have mostly managed to mature a bit) but the general sentiment in this thread seems to be the inverse.
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| # ? Feb 28, 2013 09:13 |
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