|
Hello E/N. I need some advice. It's about my partners parents. We recently had our second son, and to help with that her mother came to stay with us for 6 weeks. I was pretty happy for her to do this, as she stayed a similar amount of time with our first son and she is a fully accredited midwife as well (and, in fact, may well have saved us a lot of pain and heartache when the nurses at the hospital for our first son kind of just stalled and stopped doing anything useful she dove in and made sure poo poo got done). This is fine, although she drives me crazy sometimes we seem to get along well enough. Mostly rearranging the kitchen/lounge stuff. My partner tells me that she does these little things because she is currently on stress leave due to harrassement at work, and so tries to do stuff all day. It's mildly annoying, but it's only 6 weeks, right? We can change it all back when she leaves. No, my main issue is with my partners father, who's here for 3 weeks, and with her mother telling her to leave me every other day. A little bit of background first: While pregnant, my partner and I had a couple of big fights, regarding my helping out around the house. I do my fair share, but in general my partner does tend to pay more monetarily for most things as she is a medical scientist and makes more than 3 times what I do in wages. We both work full time (well, not right now, as she's on maternity leave and I'm on 4 weeks parental leave) and put our eldest (18 months) in daycare. General housework falls to me, most of the time, since I finish work at around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, whereas she finishes closer to 5 or 6 in the evening. Sometimes I'll finish work, sweep out the kitchen/laundry, put out the washing and then call it a day, sit down at the computer and shoot something for an hour or so, then go pick up our son. This is pretty normal, but we fought a bit about my computer addiction and how I was lazy for not also mopping the floors and doing the dishes, for example. Twice in the last 9 months we have had a big fight about this. She called her mother to vent. Now her mother thinks that she'd be better off without me, and likes to tell her so. My partner has told her that actually I'm not that bad, and to just drop it, but she won't. Her father is worse, and almost openly ignores me and makes remarks about how useless I am. To be fair, I am pretty useless with household maintenance. By that, I mean I'm not the guy you'd call to help you re-shingle the roof or install a toilet, for example. I'm more than happy to pay someone to come and sort it though. As soon as her dad got here he started doing yard work, tearing out tree stumps and criticizing our gardens, which really hurt my partner, since she is very proud of her gardens but they all died last month due to a 48C degree heatwave that killed everything where we live. (Her parents normally live waaay up north where it rains pretty often) Not only does he actively ignore me, but he ignores my partner too. For example, our lawn is patchy and slightly brown due to the aforementioned heatwave, and also because we spread lime over it before checking the pH of the soil. We have since realised our mistake, and have spent the last 7 months bringing it back from the brink. It was doing really well, until he turned up, saw the unused bags of lime we had in the shed, and spread it everywhere. Afterwards, he asked where we wanted it. Why ask if you've already done it? So my question is, how good is a human body for mulch? But seriously, how can I get us to all just chill out and get along?
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 00:42 |
|
|
| # ? May 21, 2013 00:48 |
|
Fish and houseguests all start to stink after three days. Seriously, why are they there for so long? Is your partner ill and unable to care for the baby? I get why your MIL was there during the birth, and it's great that she could help out, but it seems (and forgive me if my reading comprehension is failing me) that the baby is fine, mom is recovering fine, and you guys overall have a pretty good marriage. Why, then, do her parents have to be there for weeks on end?
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 00:50 |
|
Sounds like you need to kick them out of your house.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 00:53 |
|
princecoo posted:While pregnant, my partner and I had a couple of big fights, regarding my helping out around the house. I do my fair share, but in general my partner does tend to pay more monetarily for most things as she is a medical scientist and makes more than 3 times what I do in wages. We both work full time (well, not right now, as she's on maternity leave and I'm on 4 weeks parental leave) and put our eldest (18 months) in daycare. General housework falls to me, most of the time, since I finish work at around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, whereas she finishes closer to 5 or 6 in the evening. How does the amount of money she gets paid have anything to do with your fair share? If you find a job making twice as much as she does, is she going to take over the housework and start picking the kid up from school, and watching him while you're at work? Safe and Secure! fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 01:21 |
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:15 |
|
Maggie Fletcher posted:Fish and houseguests all start to stink after three days. No, mum and bub are doing great, she's here to help get us used to having 2 kids. For example, if our eldest wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, her mother will take him while we deal with the newborn. To sort of acclimatize us, I guess. Also, they are here to visit their daughter and grandchildren, as they live 2000km away and can't visit very often. My partner and I have a pretty good relationship, aside from her feeling I could do more around the house. The last few months have been a little strained, due to pregnancy and having an active toddler tearing around the house. ^^ I meant we both do a fair share of the housework, but she pays the majority of the bills. I chip in where I can, and there are a few that I'm solely responsible for, but she pays most of them. princecoo fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 01:17 |
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:15 |
|
You and your wife need to talk and develop a plan of action that is mutually acceptable. I'd fuckin' kick em out. It's always kosher to kick people out of your house for disrespecting you. I'm pretty sure this is universal to every human culture. I'd keep calm but be firm, no insults or anything just 'This behavior is unacceptable and you need to leave'. You are a parent now so it's time to learn to start imposing your will on people without freaking out. That plan will only work if your wife is down with it though. It might also be time to see whether she sides with you or her parents, when it comes down to it. EDIT: Oh, they are from really far away? Maybe one chance to change the problem behavior before getting kicked out then. You need to be clear about what behavior you find unacceptable, like ruin the yard by doing random poo poo without asking or trying to drive wedges between you and your wife. Nathilus fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 01:25 |
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:22 |
|
You and your partner both need to sit down with your in-laws and hash this poo poo out. If they still refuse to listen, then politely, but firmly, ask them to leave. It's difficult with a new baby, yes, but it can be done without them there. At this point, it's just adding more stress.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:26 |
|
Safe and Secure! posted:How does the amount of money she gets paid have anything to do with your fair share? If you find a job making twice as much as she does, is she going to take over the housework and start picking the kid up from school, and watching him while you're at work? Did you intentionally ignore the part where he gets home at 2pm and she gets home at 6pm in the evenings? In that case, yes, he should be responsible for more of the housework.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:27 |
|
Nobody should ever, EVER love with their inlaws. There is nothing that is more aggravating and I'm 100% convinced of this.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:28 |
|
CountingCrows posted:Did you intentionally ignore the part where he gets home at 2pm and she gets home at 6pm in the evenings? This is my partners point of view. And I'll be honest, I agree. I totally should be doing more, but sometimes after working since 4am I get home and just couldn't be hosed to do everything.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:31 |
|
Your mother in law sounds like a massive control freak. Seriously, who waltzes into someone's work place and starts telling them how to do their job?
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:33 |
|
CountingCrows posted:Did you intentionally ignore the part where he gets home at 2pm and she gets home at 6pm in the evenings? He finishes at "2 or 3", she finishes at "5 or 6". Did you intentionally ignore the part where he gets home at 3pm and she gets home at 5pm? Did you intentionally ignore the part where they get off work at these times, not get home, as you put it? Did you intentionally ignore the part where in addition to housework, he is taking care of a kid by himself for the time that she is gone? He said that sometimes he'll come home and chill on the computer for an hour after some light housework before he picks up the kid. So presumably there isn't a whole of time between getting "off work" and back "on work", unless taking care of a kid by yourself isn't work, in which case people everywhere can fire their babysitters, and OP can cancel day-care because clearly the people watching his kid aren't working. In case that wasn't clear enough, he's not getting home at 2pm to spend four hours with nothing else to do till she gets home at 6pm. He's probably spending around 1-3 hours of that working (in the form of taking care of his kid). Did you intentionally ignore the part where I was questioning his implication that the division of house work is due to monetary contribution instead of work hours? Are you illiterate? A string of yeses and/or nos would be okay. ![]() princecoo posted:This is my partners point of view. And I'll be honest, I agree. I totally should be doing more, but sometimes after working since 4am I get home and just couldn't be hosed to do everything. Wait, what are your work hours and what are her work hours? You work 4am - 2pm and sometimes 4am - 3pm? Safe and Secure! fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 01:38 |
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:34 |
|
Toriori posted:Nobody should ever, EVER love with their inlaws. There is nothing that is more aggravating and I'm 100% convinced of this. Some families are actually incredibly inviting, caring people. More than one family-less friend of mine has been adopted into the clan of their inlaws, and some are of vastly different nationalities/faiths. It all comes down to whether the family in question are awful loving people, fair to 'middlin, or actually nice. As a personal aside, whoever ends up marrying me if it ends up happening is going to be lucky as hell in this regard. My mother is loving awesome with my girlfriends and the like because her mom was a huge nag who never liked any of the SOs including my dad for quite a few years after the marriage and she swore to herself not to be like that. My dad is also cool and very accommodating to my friends and SOs, but he's got nasty cancer that he was supposed to die of years ago and which continues to re-metastasize between bouts of chemo, so I'd say the chances of having to deal with Scary Father In Law are not very high. Talk about ugly silver linings, but there you have it.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:40 |
|
Safe and Secure! posted:He finishes at "2 or 3", she finishes at "5 or 6". Did you intentionally ignore the part where he gets home at 3pm and she gets home at 5pm? No, I considered the whole scenario. It seems obvious to me that if you're home from work 3-4 hours earlier than your spouse, you should do a large chunk of the housework. You seem to have ignored that issue and instead discussed the money issue, which I agree, makes no difference. The point is moot however, since OP added new information to say he works sometimes as early as 4am? If you both work outside the house the same amount of hours, then split the housework evenly. On days you work less, do extra housework. Seems reasonable to me.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:41 |
|
CountingCrows posted:It seems obvious to me that if you're home from work 3-4 hours earlier than your spouse, you should do a large chunk of the housework. Let's see you do a large chunk of the house work while picking up your kid and taking care of him. Let's see you do a large chunk of the house work while picking up your two kids and then taking care of them, as you think OP should. Also, are you intentionally ignoring the fact that he gets home from work 2-4 hours earlier than his spouse, not "3-4", as you put it again? E: My point is that even if OP wasn't going to work at 4am, watching a kid is itself work. He's not getting off work 2-4 hours earlier than his wife. He's leaving one job to go to the next job, which is called "parent". Housework isn't as simple when you have to watch kids at the same time. Safe and Secure! fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 01:53 |
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:43 |
|
Safe and Secure! posted:Let's see you do a large chunk of the house work while picking up your kid and taking care of him. Let's see you do a large chunk of the house work while picking up your two kids and then taking care of them, as you think OP should. I guess I don't really see that as a big deal? Sweeping and putting out the laundry takes 10 minutes at most? Even if you dedicate an hour to housework before you pick up your kids, then you'd get a lot more done. Again, the point is moot if he's working at 4am and she's working a 9-5 (or 6) or whatever. Edit: So who works longer hours outside of the house OP, you or your partner? Also, I assume when your partner gets home, you both split the work equally?
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:51 |
|
True, but she wants him to mop, too, which takes quite a bit more time than sweeping or throwing laundry in the wash.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:54 |
|
Safe and Secure! posted:E: My point is that even if OP wasn't going to work at 4am, watching a kid is itself work. He's not getting off work 2-4 hours earlier than his wife. He's leaving one job to go to the next job, which is called "parent". Housework isn't as simple when you have to watch kids at the same time. He's home by himself playing video games for a while before the kids are picked up, why can't he do the housework in that time again?
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:54 |
|
That's a good point, I guess we'd have to know more about what housework he's doing. The easy things like washing dishes and sweeping floors, throwing laundry in the wash, should go by quickly enough to let him get a good hour in on WoW on the days he gets home at 2pm.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 01:56 |
|
So the OP isn't allowed to have a little free time in between work and child care? The real issue here isn't houseowrk, it's the inlaws.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 02:27 |
|
HelloIAmYourHeart posted:So the OP isn't allowed to have a little free time in between work and child care? Except his partner feels that he doesn't do his share, so much so, that they've had "two big fights" about it, where his partner complained to her family. It's important to determine if this is true or not.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 02:37 |
|
CountingCrows posted:I guess I don't really see that as a big deal? Sweeping and putting out the laundry takes 10 minutes at most? Even if you dedicate an hour to housework before you pick up your kids, then you'd get a lot more done. Oh, that's adorable! The amount of laundry and mess 2 children generate is far more that 10 minutes of work, speaking from personal experience. Granted, I have 2 toddlers, but still. Way, way more than a 10 min. rush job. OP: They are in your home. Sit down with your SO and work out a plan of action that you are both comfortable with. Decide if the help you get is worth the trouble that comes with it, and if not then kindly tell them that they are beginning to cause serious problems with your family and need to pack up and go. You have a responsibility to provide your seeds with a healthy, loving environment, and it doesn't sound like that's what's going on right now. If you feel like you should clean more, then do so. Ask your partner to take the kids out on her day off and give you some time to yourself to clean the house for real. It'll give you time to decompress, and when she gets back? Clean house. Everybody wins except for her parents, who are now hopefully on the way home, wondering why they spent so much time focusing on your relationship rather than enjoying their own. It will be uncomfortable, and you may have to be the bad guy (I mean come on, it's her mom and dad. She's not going to want to fight with them), but you have to get your house in order. Good luck.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 03:16 |
|
Okay, first off you need to set some boundaries. There is nothing more toxic then a member of a relationship using family or friends as a place to vent about their spouse. They hear the worst and see the pain and frustration and grow to resentment even after the original problem is solved and done with. Her parents have been there too long. My mother who is the nicest and most helpful woman in the world goes when one of her sons or daughters has a child and tries to help. She also knows that being there over a week is annoying no matter how helpful you are and leaves. The acclimation excuse is bullshit. It is best to help when the mother is weak but the last thing you need is to be weaned onto having two children. So her dad is hanging around and not talking to either of you? And her mother is rearranging your house without your permission? Why are they there again? I am not surprised she was harassed at work. If she is that annoying I would harass her. For housework you again need to figure out how to divide it up and make it work. You also now have two children. You may need to relax your standards a bit if they are beyond what both of you can reasonably achieve without undue stress. Your children will provide the requisite stress you need. Human bodies are hard to mulch. You have to extract the good bits in the torso from within the rib structure. I'd advise just smashing the bone structure to pieces and throwing the soft bits onto the mulch pile. Do not use lime with it.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 03:19 |
|
I have a scatter gun approach to cleaning/housework, which drives her crazy. I'll get home, vaccuum the lounge and dining area, see that the dishes need to be put away in the kitchen, do that then see out the window that the clothes need to be brought in, do that and forget completely about vacuuming the bedrooms, doing more dishes and mopping the kitchen/laundry. So she'll come home and expect mopped laundry and vacuumed rooms, and assume that I spent my entire time at home playing games. Generally though, the next day I will do the things I forgot/neglected the previous day. I also have hypothyroidism and occasionally I do come home after work and pass out asleep on the couch for an hour or so. She's pretty understanding of this, but I don't think she fully understands how bone crushingly tired hypothyroidism can leave you, even when you're completely up to date on medication. This doesn't happen very often though. I work 4am til 2pm or 4am to 3pm. She works 8am to 5pm or 8:30am to 5:30pm, however she also does a lot of on-call work so every second week she might not be home til after 6pm, and gets called in at odd hours of the night/early hours of the morning fairly frequently. Generally she'll do a load of dishes in the morning, put some laundry on, and when I get home I hang it out/put it away kind of thing. The biggest point of contention between us is she thinks I play games all day instead of housework, while I find it to be an unfair assumption, and also slightly hypocritical that my hobby/prefered method of unwinding is deemed a waste of time while I have absolutely no qualms with letting her sit in the spare room quilting (her favourite hobby) an entire weekend away after a lovely week on call. The issue is her parents. Not the housework. She was pregnant and hormonal when she went of to them about me, and has since tried to tell them it was not a big deal, just her venting her frustrations.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 03:28 |
|
Xenocides posted:Human bodies are hard to mulch. You have to extract the good bits in the torso from within the rib structure. I'd advise just smashing the bone structure to pieces and throwing the soft bits onto the mulch pile. Do not use lime with it. This has been super helpful! Thanks!
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 03:30 |
|
It sounds like you could solve part of your issue simply by reversing the order you do things in. Play games while she's out, and get cleaning when she's coming through the door. It sounds like she doesn't catch you cleaning much so she assumes it isn't happening. Oh also your in-laws telling their kid to leave you isn't cool, but you know that.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 03:33 |
|
If you're happy with that, that's fine, but goddamn. You work 10 - 11 hours a day. Then you have to take care of the kids by yourself for a couple hours. She works 9, maybe 10, then she comes home and helps with the kids. With the kids, you're working what, 12 - 13 hours a day all the time while she works 9, 10 sometimes, and sometimes it averages out to 11 - 12 when she's on call? Then next time you have an argument about you not doing enough, just show her the math, I guess. Tell your in-laws they're useless for being able to take off work and mess around in your house for three weeks.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 03:53 |
|
It can be easy to assume that the other person did nothing when you're working opposite shifts and don't come home to what you expected. This happens with my husband sometimes too, if we work different shifts it's easy to just make the assumption that the other person did nothing all day. What we ended up doing is putting up a whiteboard on the fridge and make a list of what needs to be done, and then that person checks off the list when they do it. That way there's no accusatory "So what DID you do all day?" as soon as one of us walks in the door. Granted that doesn't really resolve the issue with the in-laws but it sounds like the big blowups with her need to be addressed anyway. If she keeps going to them and bitching about you being lazy, nothing you can say or do is going to change their opinion.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 06:20 |
|
princecoo posted:Now her mother thinks that she'd be better off without me, and likes to tell her so. My partner has told her that actually I'm not that bad, and to just drop it, but she won't. These people have no place in your house. If it was me (It isn't, I get on great with my MIL and got on even better with my FIL, my only problem when her mum comes over for a week or two is things re-arranged and losing access to the living room when she's sleeping as we don't have a guest room) there would be a "them or me" ultimatum. No-one should be staying in your home being disrespectful to and about you and actively trying to sabotage your relationship. Everything else regarding the cleaning and stuff is on a different level. I'm not convinced you don't have the lovely end of the stick there, but either way it's a much lesser concern than two people actively trying to get your wife to leave you.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 08:07 |
|
The thing that sticks out for me is it seems your partner is ok with the treatment you are getting from the inlaws. Would she put up with that kind of crap from your parents?
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 14:56 |
|
You do need to express to your wife that she is being unfair to you with regards to household work and that her parents are overstaying their welcome. Either that or wake her up at 4am and tell her to do some cleaning before she heads to work?
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 15:11 |
|
Take a few weeks off from videogames, let the old guy help you re-shingle your roof, install a toilet, build a snake-proof cat deck or whatever manly projects need doing. You say you don't know how to do that stuff but you can change that. If you showed an interest, he'd probably be glad to show you, would be free labor and you might end up with a father-in-law you get along with. Edit: I followed you here from Pet Island, don't forget to tell these people about the 7 week old puppy they got to complement your 1 week old baby. Ikantski fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 15:32 |
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 15:29 |
|
I would be pretty resentful too if my husband got some down time to play video games and do his own thing after work, while I only got to do work > kids > work. I doubt it's anything personal, she's probably just frustrated that you get a break and she doesn't so she harps on the easier target of housework. As for the in-laws, yeah I think it's definitely time for them to go if they're getting more in the way of things than they are helping. New moms are always going to have a ton of gripes and if your MIL is seeing that as an invitation to undermine your relationship then it's time for her to go away.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 15:40 |
|
Lyz posted:I would be pretty resentful too if my husband got some down time to play video games and do his own thing after work, while I only got to do work > kids > work. I doubt it's anything personal, she's probably just frustrated that you get a break and she doesn't so she harps on the easier target of housework. but she does get that down time from 4-~8 am? I assume she spends it sleeping.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 15:52 |
|
Echoing the chore plan whiteboard suggestion. It's pretty simple to draw up a plan of who does what when, and will help both you and your SO keep track of things. I did the same a while back, and in addition to keeping track of what I need to do, it helps give a better overview of which tasks need the most attention. Regarding the in-laws, you need to have a serious level-headed discussion with all four of you present. Voice your issues, listen to their feedback, act accordingly. It's hard not to get defensive in situations like that, but try to curb whatever ego might be standing in the way between your issues and a solution that works.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 16:04 |
|
Castle Bidimar posted:but she does get that down time from 4-~8 am? I assume she spends it sleeping. I'm guessing she sleeps until the kids wake up and then it's basically straight to Mommy duty. Not quite the same as being wide awake and having a quiet house to yourself.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 16:06 |
|
Lyz posted:I'm guessing she sleeps until the kids wake up and then it's basically straight to Mommy duty. Not quite the same as being wide awake and having a quiet house to yourself. While all bets are off while they have a newborn she will also be able to stay up later than him pissing around on the net or watching tv seeing as he gets up at 4 so probably has to go to bed by 9, a couple of hours after a reasonable toddler bedtime. While she gets up with the kids (say 7?) so gets to stay up until midnight.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 16:21 |
|
princecoo posted:I have a scatter gun approach to cleaning/housework, which drives her crazy. I'll get home, vaccuum the lounge and dining area, see that the dishes need to be put away in the kitchen, do that then see out the window that the clothes need to be brought in, do that and forget completely about vacuuming the bedrooms, doing more dishes and mopping the kitchen/laundry. So she'll come home and expect mopped laundry and vacuumed rooms, and assume that I spent my entire time at home playing games. Forgive me for sounding like a lazy gently caress, but you mop and vacuum every day? I've never thought that could be at ALL necessary unless you cook on the floor or something. As another poster said, how about relaxing your standards a bit? Laundry, dishes, and general picking up are a daily thing of course, but how drat dirty can the floors get in the space of 24 hours? I know the in-laws are your most pressing problem, but after they leave, you and your partner should really work these disagreements out. If you haven't talked about splitting chores, that could be a start. Maybe even make a small chart on your fridge if it would clear things up. You also REALLY need to talk to her about the disparity in how she respects your hobbies versus hers. If you need a bit or video games to unwind while the kids take a nap, it's no different than quilting. It provides the same stress relief for you, and that helps a lot for both people. There also seems to be a bit of inequality in how you see your contribution to the family. You work MORE hours than she usually does. It's not unreasonable at all to expect sharing the work more. It also sounds like the level of income is important. You're both working hard (I assume), and trying to do a good job in raising your kids, shouldn't you respect and care less about who makes more unless there is financial trouble? Anyway, just my take on it. But Jesus Christ kick out those in-laws first. They are toxic.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 16:43 |
|
Lyz posted:I would be pretty resentful too if my husband got some down time to play video games and do his own thing after work, while I only got to do work > kids > work. I doubt it's anything personal, she's probably just frustrated that you get a break and she doesn't so she harps on the easier target of housework. It seems like people are going out of their way to find some fault in the OP. He works crazy hours and has a medical condition. It really doesn't sound like she's doing more, just has a better job/hours. He is allowed to play an hour of games if he wants, just like she can waste her time with some yarn if she wants. But really, who lets their in laws stay for 6 weeks, unless there was a huge complication you both were allowed plenty of time off to handle this both yourselves, maybe with a week of help at the beginning at most. Tell them thanks, no thanks.
|
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 17:03 |
|
|
| # ? May 21, 2013 00:48 |
|
312 posted:It seems like people are going out of their way to find some fault in the OP. He works crazy hours and has a medical condition. It really doesn't sound like she's doing more, just has a better job/hours. He is allowed to play an hour of games if he wants, just like she can waste her time with some yarn if she wants. I never said it was a reasonable explanation, just giving some perspective on why she could possibly be so pissed off. I used to resent the hell out of my husband because when our son was young, he slept in bed with us and had to be nursed to sleep, so I would trudge upstairs while my husband dicked around watching TV or playing games on his computer. Obviously there's nothing he could have done, he can't nurse the baby for me, but new babies and the lack of sleep that comes with them basically make you into a crazy person. EDIT: I now have my revenge, as our child really only goes to sleep well for him so he's on bedtime duty every night. Lyz fucked around with this message at Feb 18, 2013 around 17:15 |
| # ? Feb 18, 2013 17:12 |



















