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 Your 2013 Los Angeles Dodgers You might have heard about the Dodgers, because they were just bought by a group of hugely wealthy investors and have more money than God. They also have a television deal in the works that's going to give them seven billion dollars, so their annual television revenues alone could handle a massive payroll. Everyone in L.A. loves the new owners, because: 1) Their public face is Magic Johnson, and everyone loves Magic Johnson 2) Frank McCourt, the former owner, was so widely and thoroughly despised that Satan himself could have bought the team and Bill Plaschke would have written a column saying how "he gets it." Anyway, they're actually acting as if the Dodgers are a historically successful and famous team in the nation's second largest media market, and not as if its a wretched piggy bank, so they're cool. As for the baseball team itself, it's...kind of a mixed bag, even after literally hundreds of millions of dollars have been spent improving it since the Guggenheim group bought them early last season. Even so, the new money and players have taken a team from the 70-win range to being projected to win a playoff spot, so if that's all money can buy, we're fine with it. Oh, yeah, last season. Halfway through, Jeffrey Loria decided to ditch slumping former superstar Hanley Ramirez, so the Dodgers snapped up his $15 million dollar a year for some middling pitching prospects. A good move, since the alternative was continuing to start Dee Gordon (he bad). A few months later, the Boston Red Sox decided to pull the trigger on a massive rebuild effort after flaming out spectacularly, and the Dodgers took advantage of the fire sale to acquire Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and Josh Beckett, for a combined one million billion dollars of salary (seriously, Carl Crawford alone is owed like $100 million over the length of his awful contract). However, injuries to their best player, Matt Kemp, and a struggling offense kept them from making the playoffs through the Wild Card, even though they remained in contention until the very last games of the season. In the offseason, the Dodgers stayed productive and eager to spend, landing Zack Greinke for 6 years/147 million, and shelling out tens of millions of dollars for the rights to possibly the best pitcher in the Korean majors, Hyun-jin Ryu. Oh yeah, and on top of everything else they signed Andre Ethier to a 5 year/85 million dollar extension and gave Brandon League (!) 3 years/21 million, because giving a single gently caress about budgets is the new market inefficiency. God drat it, Vin will see this team win another championship! The expectations going into 2013 are probably unrealistically high for casual fans, who see $200 million dollars in added salary and think instant World Series winner. The more discerning fan realizes that the playoffs are a crapshoot and getting there is good enough in itself, or something, and then they realize how many kids could be fed and clothed for $200 million and curse capitalism. Front Office Owner: Guggenheim Baseball Management, with Magic Johnson as a minority owner/public face and Stan Kasten as president of the club. Please take a moment to thank our lord Jesus Christ that Frank McCourt is now removed from sports ownership.  General Manager: Ned Colleti Solidly mediocre-to-bad, Colleti is a McCourt holdover who was just inexplicably signed to an extension. Believes in grit, hustle, scrappiness, savvy veterans, and all that other bullshit that gives lovely players big deals and over the hill vets more money to piss away while they block prospects (Haha, just kidding, the Dodgers don't really have any AAA people making the leap this year). Whatever. At least he didn't mess up on signing Greinke, and hopefully Stan Kasten can talk him out of his worst decisions.  Manager: Don Mattingly Hey! It's Donnie Baseball! He's a pretty okay manager. He insists on bunting too often for anyone's liking, but he usually makes solid lineup decisions, refuses to play Juan Uribe under any circumstance, and apparently the players love him. He will be vilified by the Los Angeles media after the team fails to win the World Series and subsequently fired.  Announcer: Vin Scully Vin Scully is the greatest sports broadcaster in American history. His voice is baseball for tens of millions of people, and on Vin Scully Day last year, a rainbow appeared on the field behind him, because he is Vin Scully. Vin Scully is worth fifteen wins by himself.  The Players   Catcher: A.J. Ellis 2012 Stats: .270/.373/.414, 13 HR, 118 OPS+ A.J. Ellis is a cool dude, and a classic example of a diamond in the rough. He didn't start catching full-time until last season, when the 31 year old career backup/minor leaguer blew everyone's minds as he suddenly became one of the most productive catchers in the National League. A consistent source of production in last year's anemic lineup, he might be due for an offensive regression this year, but here's hoping this down to earth guy keeps on being an above-average player.  First Base: Adrian Gonzalez 2012 Stats: .299/.344/.463, 18 HR, 116 OPS+ Boston is a terrible place, with an even worse media, so when the Red Sox went to poo poo last year, the organization responded by throwing its players under the bus and making everyone hate their lives. Fortunately for Gonzalez, the Dodgers were looking to replace the awful James Loney at first, and were willing to take on the enormous contracts of Josh Beckett and Carl Crawford just to get him. Adrian had a pretty terrible year by his standards, his worst since 2005, with declining power, contact, and walk rates. The bad news? He's thirty, so he'll probably never repeat his great peaks of 40 homers and 160 OPS+ production. The good news? He'll probably rebound from an off year in a bad personal situation, and he's replacing the production of one of the worst starting players in baseball in Loney, so it's a huge upgrade regardless. He's also a very good fielder. Oh, and he hit a home run in his first at-bat as a Dodger!   Second Base: Mark Ellis 2012 Stats: .258/.333/.364 7 HR, 93 OPS+ Mark Ellis is nothing special. Decent fielder, and he can't hit. Will probably hit leadoff, which poses a problem.  Shortstop: Hanley Ramirez 2012 Stats: .257/.322/.437, 24 HR, 106 OPS+ (112 as a Dodger) Oh, Han-Ram, how far you've fallen. Ramirez used to be the golden boy of the Marlins, putting up absurd offensive numbers for a shortstop. In 2010, he was injured and never really recovered. Already a poor fielder, his offensive collapse and pricey contract made him a prime candidate for the Marlins to move, and the Dodgers took a flier on him, seeing as there is no way he could possibly be worse than Dee Gordon. Like Gonzalez, he's replacing a terrible player, so even an adequate performance by him is an upgrade. Unlike Gonzalez, he hasn't been elite in a while. Hopefully, new pitching coach Mark McGwire will help him fix his swing and teach him how to take a walk. Also, he's a bad fielder. A really, really bad fielder. He probably should not be playing shortstop, which makes you wonder why exactly Luis Cruz is playing third and he's not.  Third Base: Luis Cruz 2012 Stats: .297/.322/.431, 6 HR, 106 OPS+ Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Last season, a whole bunch of Dodgers caught the injury bug at once. Like, a whole lot. So many players went down that Mattingly was forced to run out lineups consisting of six or seven minor-league callups and two or three regulars. They still managed to win games at a good clip thanks to Clayton Kershaw starts and pixie dust, but the magic eventually ran out and most of the minor leaguers returned to whence they came or were replaced by midseason trade acquisitions. All, that is, except for Luis Cruz, who came out of nowhere (169 previous PA over three years in the majors, the last being 2010 with the Brewers) to quickly become a fan favorite. Most of the Dodgers community predicted he'd turn back into a pumpkin at any second, but his luck held through the season and he turned in a pretty good performance. Unfortunately, all the signs point to him reverting to form in a dramatic fashion. While he was batting at or slightly above .300 for most of his plate appearances, he had almost no power, drew a tiny amount of walks, and swung at anything that came in his general direction. He's got a plus glove, so ideally he should either be starting at short while Ramirez plays third, solving the defensive problem, or even more ideally, he should be coming off the bench. Personally, I hope that the guy catches a break and remains a productive player, even though the odds are highly against it.  Left Field: Carl Crawford 2012 Stats: .282/.306/.479, 3 HR, 107 OPS+ Sent over from Boston with Gonzalez, Beckett, and Punto, Crawford is the major baggage of the trade, and getting rid of his truly awful contract is the biggest reason Boston was willing to part with Gonzalez in the first place. In his glory days with the Rays, he used to be a fiend on the basepaths, swiping 50 a season and batting above .300 while playing plus defense and getting on base at a good clip. Now, he's coming off a bunch of injuries (sound familiar?) and had to be shut down last year to have Tommy John surgery after injuring his elbow. It has yet to be seen whether he still has his best qualities as a player, or whether he'll decline and just be one of the worst contracts in history. But, hey, the Dodgers would probably just eat the $100 million and buy someone else.  Center Field: Matt Kemp 2012 Stats: .303/.367/.538, 23 HR, 147 OPS+ Matt Kemp is very handsome, and also probably the best center fielder in the National League. He's an adequate fielder and baserunner, but his bat is one of the best in the game when healthy, and even when he's not (like last year, when he missed 60 games), it's still pretty freaking good. He's death to lefties (career .344/.408/.579 against LHP), and hits for average and power. He tore his labrum after running into a concrete wall at Coors last year trying to field a fly ball, but instead of doing the smart thing and ending his season, he tried to play through the injury and, predictably, slumped. He had the surgery in the offseason and is reportedly feeling fine, so hopefully this year he'll be the brightest light in the Dodger offense.  Right Field: Andre Ethier 2012 Stats: .284/.351/.460, 20 HR, 123 OPS+ Like his outfield buddy Matt, Andre is very handsome. Unlike Kemp, he absolutely cannot hit lefty pitching. At all. If you set up a left-handed pitching machine, he would strike out. Seriously, please, someone get Ethier a platoon partner, because he crushes righty pitching (career .311/.387/.526 vs RHP). Even if he doesn't get a partner, his talents are good enough to draw remarkably consistent offensive numbers: his OPS+ from 2008 on are 132, 132, 133, 121, 123. He plays slightly below average defense. Along with A.J. Ellis, one of the only two Dodgers to remain healthy for most of the season in the lineup. He just got a bunch of money thrown at him with a 5 year/85 million extension, but, eh, who cares about budgets, right?? Handsome enough to justify the money. Not as handsome as Adrian Gonzalez, secretly the most handsome Dodger. Coming soon: Bench and Pitchers tatankatonk fucked around with this message at Feb 21, 2013 around 09:00 |
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 08:57 |
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| # ? May 20, 2013 06:07 |
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Seriously, the Dodgers should have signed Scott Hairston to platoon with Ethier, even it if meant starting Ethier vs. lefties and then subbing Hairston in after 1 AB. What's $2.5 MM to them?
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 14:50 |
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LordPants posted:The Rays write up was excellent, but forgot to mention It's funny how different the SAS opinion is of Luke Scott then it was when he played for the Orioles and we all thought he was some kind of redneck gun-loving birther nut.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 14:57 |
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tatankatonk posted:Announcer: Vin Scully That's awesomely adorable. I should listen to Vin more-- the only thing I've ever heard him call was "The Catch," and I've only seen the youtube clips of that.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 15:15 |
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BearDrivingTruck posted:That's awesomely adorable. I should listen to Vin more-- the only thing I've ever heard him call was "The Catch," and I've only seen the youtube clips of that. Absolutely. I'm not really a Dodgers fan, but if he's doing the broadcast, I"ll fire it up on MLB.TV just for him.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 15:19 |
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tadashi posted:It's funny how different the SAS opinion is of Luke Scott then it was when he played for the Orioles and we all thought he was some kind of redneck gun-loving birther nut. No, that's still what he is and I think most people hate him. Not as much as Josh Leuke or anything, but Luke Scott is still a poo poo.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 15:38 |
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tadashi posted:Seriously, the Dodgers should have signed Scott Hairston to platoon with Ethier, even it if meant starting Ethier vs. lefties and then subbing Hairston in after 1 AB. What's $2.5 MM to them? It's pretty baffling, especially when I could swear Mattingly had some quotes towards the end of last year about platooning him more. I'm too lazy to find them though.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 16:28 |
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Luke Scott is a horrible human being who throws plaintains at black teammates but mostly I hate him because of this: loving mashes against the Tigers.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 16:34 |
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Your 2013 Seattle Mariners 2012 Record: 75-87 Offensive stats: .234/.296/.369  Dead last or near-dead last in every category that mattersPitching stats: 3.76 ERA, 4.00 FIP The Mariners entered the 2012 season with low expectations, and they played to those expectations. The young players disappointed, most of the veterans sucked poo poo, and Ichiro was shipped out midseason. The offseason plan to fix the offense consisted of moving in the Safeco fences and signing more over-the-hill veterans. Sounds like a recipe for success. At least Chone Figgins is finally gone. "Catcher"--Jesus Montero  2012 stats: .260/.298/.386, 15 HRs, 553 PAs The big prize in last year's Michael Pineda trade, Montero's first full season was...less than whelming. He also sucks behind the plate, but the only other catcher on the roster is Kelly Shoppach and there's a massive logjam at DH, so I guess we'll just have to grin and bear it until Mike Zunino is ready. Speaking of DH... Designated Hitter--Kendrys Morales  2012 stats: .273/.320/.467, 20 HRs, 522 PAs Morales hit a lot of dingers with the Angels a couple years ago, then he got hurt celebrating a walk-off grand slam (against the Mariners, no less!), and hasn't really been the same since. Was traded for Jason Vargas this winter, probably the team's biggest offseason move, which should tell you everything about how this offseason has gone. Still, dingers. First baseman--Justin Smoak  2012 stats: .217/.290/.364, 19 HRs, 535 PAs A hot September was the only saving grace in a disastrous season for Smoak. He has yet to live up to his potential since being acquired in the Cliff Lee trade, and 2013 may be his last chance. Still has a minor-league option if/when he sucks again. Second baseman--Dustin Ackley  2012 stats: .226/.294/.328, 12 HRs, 668 PAs Ackley followed up a promising rookie year with an abysmal sophomore effort. Has the talent to bounce back, and I'm not writing him off yet, because please God would it kill us to have one hometown prospect actually pan out. Looks pretty good at 2B, though. Third baseman--Kyle Seager  2012 stats: .259/.316/.423, 20 HRs, 651 PAs Hey, someone who didn't totally suck at the plate. Seager cooled off down the stretch, but for a while he was one of the only players actually contributing anything on offense. The bonus is that his emergence finally gave the M's an excuse to hide Figgins on the bench forever. Shortstop--Brendan Ryan  2012 stats: Who loving cares, look at that glove! Ryan's defense is literally the only reason he still has an MLB job. The less said about his bat, the better. Can't decide if he wants to keep an awesome mustache or not. Left fielder--Mike Morse  2012 stats: .291/.321/.470, 18 HRs, 430 PAs Morse came up in the Seattle farm system, and was shipped out after not getting much playing time. He then blew up and became a beloved figure in Washington. Now the prodigal son has returned, for the price of one John Jaso. Still a butcher in the outfield, so it will be like he never left! Center fielder--Franklin Gutierrez  2012 stats: .260/.309/.420, 4 HRs, 163 PAs Handsome man. Great fielder, passable bat. Too bad we will never see his handsome face since his body is made of glass. Right fielder--Michael Saunders  2012 stats: .247/.306/.432, 19 HRs, 553 PAs The Canadian Condor finally improved his offensive production from "dumpster fire" to "still bad but acceptable by Seattle standards". Pretty good in the outfield, will be shifting to CF when Gutierrez dies in May. Bench --Casper Wells. Typical 4th outfielder, not much to say about him. Dave Cameron loves him for some reason. --Eric Thames. Another guy who will probably get more playing time than he deserves when Gutierrez dies. --Jason Bay. That guy every M's fan wanted to overpay back when he was still good, before the Mets jumped on that grenade. I'll be surprised if he makes the team out of camp. --Raul Ibanez.  --Robert Andino.  Starting Rotation Felix Hernandez  2012 stats: 3.06 ERA, 2.84 FIP, 223 Ks, 232 IP   The face of the franchise, and literally the only reason I still care about this stupid team. Signed a massive extension over the offseason, essentially making him a Mariner for life. Yankees and Red Sox fans can eat a bag of dicks.Hisashi Iwakuma  2012 stats: 3.16 ERA, 4.35 FIP, 101 Ks, 125.1 IP One of those random Japanese imports the Mariners manage to dig up every few years to have a surprisingly decent season. Struggled early out of the bullpen, was much better in the rotation. Probably the new #2 starter with Vargas gone. Joe Saunders  2012 stats: 4.07 ERA, 4.08 FIP, 112 Ks, 174.2 IP Signed to a one-year deal at the tail end of the offseason. I have no idea if he'll be good or not, but if his presence means I get to watch less Hector Noesi then I'm all for it. Blake Beavan  2012 stats: 4.43 ERA, 4.85 FIP, 67 Ks, 152.1 IP If Jack Zdurencik has a "type" it's boring but competent flyball pitchers. Dear God is Blake Beavan boring. Even his mug shot is boring. Erasmo Ramirez  2012 stats: 3.36 ERA, 3.55 FIP, 48 Ks, 59 IP The back of the rotation is kind of a clusterfuck right now, so Ramirez could possibly pass up Beavan as the 4th starter. Or something. He's more interesting than Beavan, at least. Bullpen Tom Wilhelmsen  2012 stats: 2.50 ERA, 2.89 FIP, 87 Ks, 79.1 IP Took over as the closer for Brandon League and never looked back. Was out of baseball for several years working as a bartender. All-around awesome dude. Some other relievers I care less about --Oliver Perez. He's actually pretty decent now! Honest! Yeah, I don't know how that happened either. --Charlie Furbush. Cool name, pretty reliable in the later innings. --Stephen Pryor, Carter Capps, Lucas Luetge--All various levels of competent. I don't have much to say about them otherwise. --Hector Noesi. Should be little more than a mop-up man. May he never see the field. What to expect in 2013 Probably more of the same. An above-average pitching staff and defense consistently undermined by an anemic offense. Moving in the fences should help some, and if Morales and Morse keep hitting dingers and Ackley/Montero/Smoak live up to their potential the M's have a legitimate shot at .500. Anything more than that would be gravy, as the AL West is still stacked and this team is way behind Texas/Anaheim/Oakland in the pecking order. At least the Astros series should be entertaining. Prediction: 77-85 Why you should root for the Mariners This team is pretty fun when Felix is pitching. Other than that, uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh. Seattle has beautiful summers, and Safeco Field is a great place to chill for a few hours. The new Jumbotron and Edgar's restaurant should be a blast. Yeah, I got nothing. Let's Go The M's, Bitch.  Good night, sweet Mune 
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 20:46 |
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Benne posted:What to expect in 2013
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 20:51 |
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Safeco's Park factors in 2012: Runs -0.687 HR - 0.583 Hits - 0.831 Doubles - 0.709 Triples - 0.528 Someone raised a good point that it could just be the dysmal offense on the Mariners that had some effect on these park factors but I don't think moving the fences in does anything other than close the gap between Safeco and somewhere like the O. Co since you still have the environmental factors and elevation to deal with : O. Co. (2013) Runs - 0.888 HR - 0.859 Hits - 0.927 Doubles - 0.837 Triples - 1.091
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 21:14 |
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tadashi posted:Safeco's Park factors in 2012:
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 21:24 |
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Tharizdun posted:That doesn't answer my question. If X Mariners are .220 hitters, and Y Opponents are .270 hitters, why would making the Mariner's home field smaller help them be more competitive, instead of just making all the warning-track shots Hamilton, Pujols and friends make at SafeCo go out more often. Mariner players can no longer complain that the field is hard to hit at, or something. Moving in the fences probably won't change much since it's most likely the marine weather that suppresses dingers to left field.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 21:40 |
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Tharizdun posted:That doesn't answer my question. If X Mariners are .220 hitters, and Y Opponents are .270 hitters, why would making the Mariner's home field smaller help them be more competitive, instead of just making all the warning-track shots Hamilton, Pujols and friends make at SafeCo go out more often. The Mariners pitchers gave up a .229/.288/.338 against at home while their hitters hit .220/.291/.331 The problem was that the Mariners pitchers were real bad on the road while their hitters improved to league average on the road. They were only outscored by 3 runs at home.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 21:41 |
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I'm well aware of and agree with what you guys bring up. Probably should've elaborated more. I just want to see more dingers 
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 22:08 |
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MassaShowtime posted:The Mariners pitchers gave up a .229/.288/.338 against at home while their hitters hit .220/.291/.331 Wouldn't the opposing hitters get better at an equal clip with a smaller field?
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 22:11 |
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Benne posted:The new Jumbotron and Edgar's restaurant should be a blast.  
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 22:14 |
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Benne posted:I just want to see more dingers acquire good hitters then
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 22:41 |
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Groucho Marxist posted:acquire good hitters then That's the other fantasy land way that moving in the fences will help. Moving in the fences -> hitters not afraid of crappy stats -> get better free agents to come to Seattle ->more wins. This makes great sense if you ignore that 1 - The M's rarely if ever make competitive offers to big name free agents. 2 - The M's hired back to back idiots for GMs that tend to sign crap when they are making the best offers. 3 - Ditto for not drafting crap, or trading away players that don't suck before they mature.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 22:51 |
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If someone could go over the current status of the Phillies, I'd be grateful. I haven't followed baseball for the last couple years and they were always my team. What's their deal currently?
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 22:52 |
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dvorak posted:If someone could go over the current status of the Phillies, I'd be grateful. I haven't followed baseball for the last couple years and they were always my team. What's their deal currently? They are real old.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 22:57 |
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Phillies are old and their hitters all get injured at the same time so they can't actually do anything And Ryan Howard stinks
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:03 |
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This is the year, this is the year the Pirates have a winning record.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:05 |
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Arrgytehpirate posted:This is the year, this is the year the Pirates have a winning record. Sure if you mean at any point during the season.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:07 |
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Last I knew, they won a World Series, and that's pretty much where I dipped out.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:08 |
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Arrgytehpirate posted:This is the year, this is the year the Pirates have a winning record. Did my post accomplish nothing? 
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:09 |
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867-530-NEIN! posted:The 2013 Minnesota Twins 
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:21 |
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dvorak posted:Last I knew, they won a World Series, and that's pretty much where I dipped out. Ok, let's start with the important stuff... Pat Burrell is retired now.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:25 |
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Mornacale posted:Did my post accomplish nothing? Nope! I still believe! I have to. ZenVulgarity posted:Sure if you mean at any point during the season. No, I mean at the end of it. Don't crush my dreams man, don't crush my dreams.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:26 |
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dvorak posted:If someone could go over the current status of the Phillies, I'd be grateful. I haven't followed baseball for the last couple years and they were always my team. What's their deal currently? Catcher Carlos "Chooch" Ruiz steadily improved somehow over the last few years, is suspeneded for 25 games due to amphetamine use. Good defensively. Old. First Base Ryan Howard Paid 25 million dollars a year. He can't hit lefties, like at all. He won't get better or figure it out. Not super old but still old. Second Base Chase Utley Has been injury prone the last few seasons. Good hitter, greasy hair. If you had a catch, it would be a real home run. Old. Third Base Michael Young Acquired from the Rangers, can't field, can't hit, is a professional hitter. Old. Shortstop Jimmy Rollins decent player, old. Left Field Laynce Nix I prefer Jayson. Center Field Ben Revere Acquired from the Twins for Vance Worley. Good fielder, not old, can't hit. Right Field Delmon Young Signed for some reason. Fat, anti-semetic lovely player. Not old per se, but plays like one. Rotation Cole Hamels- Great great pitcher, young and talented, signed long term. Cliff Lee- Great great pitcher, older, wife got spit on by yankees fans. old. Roy Halladay- Great pitcher, formerly Great Great. Showing signs of age. Missed much of last season with injury. Old. Jon Lannan- Signed away from the Nationals, not great, back end starter. IIRC they overpaid for him Kyle Kendrick- Fifth starter, is bad. Bullpen Antonio Bastardo- good Jonathan Papelbon- good, overpaid, anus face Mike Adams- formerly decent, IIRC signed a Minor league deal but has a good track record. Chad Durbin- Meh Michael Schwimer- meh Michael Stutes- bad Bench Eric Kratz-bad Dom Brown- Hated by Ruben Amaro for some reason John Mayberry Jr- bad Freddy Galvis- bad I thought, well liked though Kevin Frandsen- bad
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:28 |
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Your 2013 Philadelphia Phillies
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:34 |
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dvorak posted:If someone could go over the current status of the Phillies, I'd be grateful. I haven't followed baseball for the last couple years and they were always my team. What's their deal currently? Sure thing! 
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:36 |
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You guys have given me true confidence. Thank you.
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| # ? Feb 21, 2013 23:41 |
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You are going to have lots of fun watching Ben Revere hit the emptiest .300 ever and be really loving fast (which is good because he usually takes Victorinoesque routes to the ball)
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| # ? Feb 22, 2013 00:04 |
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dvorak posted:You guys have given me true confidence. Thank you. Just wait for stu scott irl's preview. He'll show you the true meaning of Ruben Amaro-induced despair as only another Phillies fan can.
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| # ? Feb 22, 2013 02:19 |
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Arrgytehpirate posted:No, I mean at the end of it. Don't crush my dreams man, don't crush my dreams.
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| # ? Feb 22, 2013 02:37 |
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I feel the urge to post things, things about a certain baseball team. THE NEW YORK YANKEES, IN LURID DETAIL !THE STARTING LINEUP! RIGHT FIELDER, ICHIRO SUZUKI, AGE 39 .322/.340/.454 in 227 ABs w/ NYY  After spending majority of his career growing progressively more moldy and limp in the Pacific Northwest's horridly damp climate, Ichiro was traded to our lord and masters the New York Yankees for a bag of magic beans and a complimentary Hector Noesi. Somewhere along the line, he learned how to hit again, and there was much rejoicing. Now, as we go into what may well be his final season, he'll be hard pressed to keep up the rate of play he showed in his limited time in pinstripes. I'm of the mind that he could very well play that well, considering he's moved far away from the miniature black hole that is Safeco field. SHORTSTOP, DEREK JETER, AGE 38 .316/.362/.429 in 683 ABs  So, it turns out this guy can still sort of hit? It was a resurgent year for the Yankee captain, who spent approximately 1000 PAs being Really loving Bad at Baseball, before turning it around after returning from the DL in 2011. He's been partying like it was 1999 since then, and while his hairline continues to recede along with his already statuesque range, he sure can handle the stick. But goddamn if he shouldn't have been moved off his position in 1993. His offense is the only thing keeping him from being a Betancourt-esque drag on the Yankees' chances at victory. One thing to watch for the season will be how far he can climb up the all-time hits list, where he currently sits between Eddie Collins at Willie Mays at 11th overall. SECOND BASEMAN, ROBINSON CANO, AGE 30 .313/.379/.550 in 627 ABs  Look at that goddamn follow-through -- You're looking at the owner of the prettiest swing in the American League, maybe even MLB. Robinson Cano is, without a shadow of a doubt, the best player currently on the Yankee roster. He can hit the everloving snot out of the ball, and based on who you're asking and what time it is in Hawaii, he plays average-to-great defense! His arm is good enough to play third, leading to some absolutely preposterous plays that other cornerstone players could only dream about. Everything he does is effortless, even his hacks at pitches three inches outside and at his eyes. Some people seem to think that the Yankees won't be resigning him due to their self-imposed austerity budget, but that's totally loving crazy and I'd like for you to stop talking scary words FIRST BASEMAN, MARK TEIXEIRA, AGE 32 .251/.332/.475 in 451 ABs  Mark Teixeira is in decline. Mark Teixeira pops out, a lot. Mark Teixeira, despite all of this, is still a darn good baseball player! His defense is stellar, he's a switch hitter, and can still knock a few out of the park. I'm always praying that something will click and it'll be 2009 again, but his hot play is frustratingly fleeting. Expect for a slight bounce-back from last year if he can avoid nagging injury. LEFT FIELDER, CURTIS GRANDERSON, AGE 31 .232/.319/.492 in 596 ABs  Part 2 of the pop-up crew, Curtis came to New York in 2010 and waited approximately 4 months before turning on the torrent of dingers - 84 over the past two years alone. He's gone from a dynamic speedster to a fairly quick TTO machine, hitting for a career low BA and OBP in 2012 but reaching new highs in dingers. After playing some mediocre defense in center the past few years, he's been moved over to left for 2013. Hopefully he'll recoup a few points of average while keeping the power turned all the way on. THIRD BASEMAN, ALEX RO- wait, KEVIN YOUKILIS? Are you serious? Well I'll be damned. AGE 33 .235/.336/.409 in 438 ABs with BOS and CHW  Kevin Youkilis is old, fat, and busted. He's perfect for the Yankees current direction! It remains to be seen how his musk will gel with the bleacher creatures, but if we lock him in the bathroom for a day or three it should be alright. I just hope he doesn't drag that dreadful goatee with him to the stadium, I can't imagine how bad it must smell. Though it does make him look less like a monster. DESIGNATED HITTER, TRAVIS HAFTER, AGE 35 .228/.346/.438 in 219 ABs  Holy loving god this team is old. Travis Hafner is even older and more busted than most Yankees manage in 3 years - he hasn't gotten to 500 ABs in 6 years, the only time he ever did so. Does this mean it's probably a foregone conclusion he won't make it past July? Yes, yes it does. I fully expect this position to be taken up by the undead corpse of Alex Rodriguez once he returns from underneath the Earth. CENTER FIELDER, BRETT M GARDNER, AGE 29 Didn't really play a lot in 2012  He's fast. He's fragile. He's the best drat outfielder this side of the Rocky Mountains. He steals bases like nobody's business, and sees more pitches in a single at bat than a mortal would in his entire life. If Brett Gardner were a spirit animal, he would still be Brett Gardner, but eternally sliding into second base while simultaneously catching a deep fly at the warning track. He's a better baseball player than Carl Crawford ever was, and don't let anyone tell you (or me) otherwise. CATCHER, A REVOLVING DOOR OF ETERNAL SORROW, AGE UNKNOWN who cares, nobody here can hit The Yankees are currently waffling between Chris "No Hit" Stewart, Francisco "No Throw or Catch" Cervelli, or Austin "No Experience" Romine. As a person who has watched the first two be not very good, I'm so ready for Romine to usher in a new era of hopefully decent production. If he's anything like his brother, I won't hold my breath. !THE BENCH! 1B/OF Juan Rivera - The not-so-prodigal son has returned, after a long decade of exile. Originally shipped off to Montreal with Nick Johnson for Javier Vazquez, he's back in the Bronx to hopefully not be a black hole against LHP. C - One of those terrible catchers I mentioned up there OF Matt Diaz - Another not really good person to hit LHP. Yawn. IF/OF Eduardo Nunez - E3456789, repeat ad infinitium. The dude isn't good. !STARTING PITCHERS! CARSTEN CHARLES SABATHIA, LHP, AGE 32 15-6 3.38 ERA 4.48 K/BB  CC is the Ace, and it's been a pretty good ride. Even after missing more than a month with some issue that will never EVER come up again, he still met the 200 innings mark, and fell just short of 200 Ks. When he's healthy he's good for 230+ innings, and will probably be the next lucky bastard to hit 300 wins. HIROKI KURODA, RHP, AGE 38 16-11 3.32 ERA 3.27 K/BB  This fine looking motherfucker is the best Japanese pitcher to ever grace the NYS mound. Heady praise, I know, but he's a quality hurler regardless. As is the usual qualifier, if he's healthy he'll give 200+ really good innings exactly when you need them. Which, presumably, is every 4-5 days. ANDREW EUGENE PETTITE, LHP, AGE 40 2.87 ERA in 75 innings  There's been a trend throughout this entire post. Have you figured it out yet? It's that EVERYONE IS OLD. EVERYONE. Andy retired after 2010, never really got out of game shape, and came back better than ever for the last bit of 2012. In fact, last 200 innings he's thrown have been the best he's given since 1995! Somethings really do fit horrible cliches. Hooray! PHIL HUGHES, RHP, AGE 26 16-13 4.23 ERA 3.59  Poor, poor Philbert. For the longest time, he was the Next Big Thing. Now, he's looking a lot more like the Next Joe Blanton. His fastball just doesn't have the giddyup it needs to get by hitters consistently (though it improved last year), his curve doesn't have the same snap as it did out of the pen, and his changeup is conspicuously absent far too often. He's still young, though, and could very well "turn it around" as it were. Fingers crossed! IVAN "OH NO"VA, RHP, AGE 26 12-8 5.02 ERA 2.73 K/BB  As surprisingly good Nova was in 2011, that's exactly how surprisingly bad his 2012 was! He's probably a lot more like 2012 than 2011, too. It's kinda lame because his slider can be nasty when it's on. I don't care to talk about him further, he bores me. !THE BULLPEN! There's only two men who matter in this bullpen. One of them is Mariano Rivera, and you don't need someone to explain to you why he's the best reliever to ever walk the face of the Earth. So peep this pic:  Look at how young he is! It's almost enough to forget that he's also on the wrong side of 40 and will probably actually retire after this year   The other guy is Dave Robertson! He's also really awesome, but he does it by doing it up like Timmy Lincecum (i.e. he has a super duper long stride), and his velocity plays way, way up. He has high socks and hairy arms.
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| # ? Feb 22, 2013 03:20 |
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TUMBLR PRESENTS: THE 2013 PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES INFIELD Ryan Howard | 1B | .219/.295/.423, 14 HR in 292 PA   =========================================== Chase Utley | 2B | .256/.365/.429, 11 HR in 362 PA   =========================================== Jimmy Rollins | SS | .250/.316/.427, 23 HR in 699 PA   =========================================== Michael Young | 3B | .277/.312/.370, 8 HR in 651 PA   =========================================== Carlos Ruiz | C | .325/.394/.540, 16 HR in 421 PA   =========================================== OUTFIELD Delmon Young | LF | .267/.296/.411, 18 HR in 608 PA   =========================================== Ben Revere | CF | .294/.333/.342, 0 HR in 553 PA   =========================================== John Mayberry, Jr. | RF | .245/.301/.395, 14 HR in 479 PA   =========================================== Domonic Brown | RF | .235/.316/.396, 5 HR in 212 PA   =========================================== PITCHERS Roy Halladay | SP | 4.49 ERA, 20.4% K, 5.6% BB in 156.1 IP   =========================================== Cliff Lee | SP | 3.16 ERA, 24.4% K, 3.3% BB in 211 IP   =========================================== Cole Hamels | SP | 3.05 ERA, 24.9% K, 6.0% BB in 215.1 IP   =========================================== Kyle Kendrick | SP | 3.90 ERA, 17.2% K, 7.3% BB in 159.1 IP   =========================================== Jonathan Papelbon | CL | 2.44 ERA, 32.4% K, 6.3% BB in 70 IP  
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| # ? Feb 22, 2013 04:19 |
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ahahaha
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| # ? Feb 22, 2013 04:26 |
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| # ? May 20, 2013 06:07 |
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Stuart Scott IRL previews are the best thing about the agonizing wait for the season to start.
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| # ? Feb 22, 2013 04:27 |
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