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JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

and other stuff, probably.

I'm a statistics graduate student so lifting is my one hobby. It's pretty cool. I used to be really skinny and weak and now I'm less skinny and less weak. I've been really lifting for about 3 years, but have probably made slower progress than I could have due to a few injuries/sicknesses and an excess of loving around. But I'm healthy and ready to get serious. That's why I'm making this log!

Because I love stats so much, here's some:

Height: 6'1"
Weight: 200 lbs
Age: 27

Since the deadlift is the coolest lift, that's gonna be my official goal:
Deadlift 500 lbs by August 20, 2013

I also want to bench 315 and press 185, but I don't know when I'll get those done.

This is a little harder to quantify, but I'm going to do my best to not become a fat slob while chasing these weights.

Finally, here are pictures since those are important.


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JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

I'm pulling again tomorrow, but here's my latest deadlift workout in case anyone wants to advise or whatever.

February 14, 2013
Deadlift: 6x405 (touch and go reps), 4x405 (honest reps)
Good Mornings: 3x10x135
Cable Row (with fun new attachment): 130 lbs
Ab Wheel: 3x15

Also here's my workout from Monday:

February 18, 2013
Bench: 5x190, 5x200, 8x210
Neutral Grip Pull-up: 3x12
DB Bench: 10,9,8x85
Chest-supported row: 115 lbs
DB Triceps Extension: 30 lbs
BB Curl: 60x55

wasianchickn
Sep 4, 2006

welp


Please deadlift honestly or don't at all.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

wasianchickn posted:

Please deadlift honestly or don't at all.

Why's that? And I don't mean to antagonize with this next workout.

February 21, 2013
Deadlift: 5x405 (honest reps), 6x405 (liar reps)
Good Morning: 2x20x135 - WICKED BACK PUMPZ!
DB Row: 15, 20x105
Ab Wheel: a bunch w/ skinny red band

Gonna shove some Newman-O's in my face hole.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

Look at my horse; my horse is amazing.

What exactly is a "dishonest" deadlift anyway? I mean, you either end up standing erect with your knees locked, or you don't, no?

Anyway, as a fellow stats-y grad students, I'll be following along...

wasianchickn
Sep 4, 2006

welp


The inflection is a joke, but the point is always deadlift with good form, gently caress numbers for numbers' sake unless you're in the middle of a competition.

david carmichael
Oct 28, 2011

Canadar. Prophet.
Gomi superfan.


honesty is so important.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Lead out in cuffs posted:

What exactly is a "dishonest" deadlift anyway? I mean, you either end up standing erect with your knees locked, or you don't, no?

An honest rep starts from a full stop. I get a little touchy because I think lying about your lifting is the most pathetic thing you could possibly do.

Like that son of a bitch that told me he pulled 650 at 177 today. He ain't never done that. If he had, I would be able to tell because he would be strong.

Dum Cumpster
Sep 12, 2003

*pozes your neghole*


wasianchickn posted:

The inflection is a joke, but the point is always deadlift with good form, gently caress numbers for numbers' sake unless you're in the middle of a competition.

Nothing unsafe about touch and go reps just because they're touch and go.

wasianchickn
Sep 4, 2006

welp


Yeah, touch and go is irrespective of form, I was just running a terrible theme further into the ground.

Dum Cumpster
Sep 12, 2003

*pozes your neghole*


wasianchickn posted:

Yeah, touch and go is irrespective of form, I was just running a terrible theme further into the ground.

You'll confuse the noobs, grandpa.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

My stupid noob brain!!!

Anyway here's another workout.

February 22, 2013
1) Overhead press: 5x115, 5x125, 8x135
2A) Close grip bench: 5,5,4,4,3x225
2B) Overhead rope tricep dealy: 100 lbs
3A) Close grip chins: 4,4,4,3x50
3B) Incline curls: 40 lbs
4) Face Pulls: 20x100

Probably shoulda done more face pull sets but I had been there for a while and I wanted to leave. Also my shoulder only hurt a little on the overhead press warmups.

There are an astonishing amount of strong people at my gym on Friday nights. 3 of the guys in there pull in the 600s and another 4 in the 500s. It's really good for the motivation.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Had an excellent grip workout wrangling sheep today! I was confused how you were supposed to move the things, but it turns out you just grab two big handfuls of wool and pull on 'em. Wore my hands out pretty good, but it was totally fun. Also pretty solid conditioning. So that's how I'm going to justify never doing cardio for the next year: I did a little bit of sheep tugging today.



When it came time to clean the huge amount of sheep poo poo off my boots, I eventually got to a point where I figured "these boots are pretty clean now." Which is to say, I still had sheep poo poo on my boots, but now it was an acceptable amount of sheep poo poo.

Dum Cumpster
Sep 12, 2003

*pozes your neghole*


Is this a new crossfit thing? Did you kip?

Midnight Science
Aug 7, 2009

It will destroy you.


JohnnyOneJoke posted:

sheep tugging

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Dum Cumpster posted:

Did you kip?

No and here's why. At some point you turn the sheep so it faces forward and push it from behind. So you're pushing from the back and you gotta use your hips otherwise you'll tire out too quick. Of course at this point it looks uncomfortably like you're having sex with the sheep or something. Here's a visual:



So that's why I don't kip. It makes you look like a sheepfucker.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Why should I squat when I just wear pants all the time? I don't know, but here it is.

February 24, 2013
Squats: 5x240, 3x260, 1x275, 1x295, 5x275
Front Squats: 3x9x145
GHR: 3x12
Standing Crunch: 3x12x80
Tire Flip: 10 flips with what is supposedly a 600 lb tire. I'm almost sure nobody has weighed it, though.

Haven't flipped the tire in a long time. It was lighter than I remembered. Probably going to do the strongman competition my gym puts on in the summer (barring any injuries) and tire flips is one of the events. You gotta flip the tire 75 feet, which ends up being about 12 or 13 flips. They give you 90 seconds to do it. Anyway, the tire flip shouldn't present too much of a problem and should really just come down to conditioning and getting after the drat thing. So in other words I probably won't spend too much time training this event.

My front squat is shameful. The upper back is just so drat weak. Probably because of my terrible posture. I'm working on it, though.

And oh man I gotta get me one of these: http://www.t-nation.com/store/products/dead-squat-bar.

It's probably 3 times as good as a regular hex bar. It had better be. It's 3 times the price.

Fontoyn
Aug 25, 2009
The next time I call someone "weak and skinny," please remind me to look in a mirror.


see the handles man, do you see the loving handles

i like u

RebBrownies
Aug 16, 2011



Cool sheep and great body! Following this log

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Thanks brothers!

You know there was a meeting about that trap bar and someone said "We can't just rename a trap bar and sell it for 550 bucks. We have to make it different somehow."

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Bench day today. A wonderful day.

February 25, 2013
Bench Press: 1x5x210, 1x3x225, 1x5x235
Neutral Grip Pull-up: 3x12xBW
DB Bench: 3x8x85 (meh)
Chest Supported Row: 115 lbs
DB Triceps Extension: 30 lbs
Overhead Band Triceps Extension: Yes
BB Curl: 1x70x55
Brotator Cuff Work

I realized the way I log stuff probably only makes sense to me. So I'm gonna always and forever do Sets x Reps x Weight.

Very excited about the bench press. Last month was 230 for 5 reps and they were harder than the 5 reps at 235 today. Progress! DB bench felt weak and lovely for some reason, but really who cares? Had a massive arm pump today, which is what we all strive for.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Also here's a visual representation of my diet:



It's that chili from the recipe thread with a protein shake and half a can of sweet potato puree for dessert. That's also what I had for lunch. There is no breakfast. The only thing keeping me from eating Bachelor Chow is the fact that it doesn't exist.

Ashwat
Nov 11, 2004

Behold the cuteness.

I am confused by the sweet potato puree but approve of the chili eats. Also nice sheep pic.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Gotta have them carbs if you wanna get huge!

Had a pretty cool deadlift day today. Worn out in a big way.

February 28, 2013
Deadlift: 6x405, 7x405 (Touch and Go)
Good Mornings: 1x30x135
DB Row: 2x20x105
Knee lift thingies: 1x50xBW

My butt was really feeling it after the deadlifts. And my lower back had a massive pump after the good mornings. Made a weak attempt at a 225 atlas stone, but I had already decided not to lift it so there wasn't really any point. I'm gonna chalk it up to being absolutely wrecked after the rest of the workout.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Kinda sad overhead press day. Oh well.

March 1, 2013
Overhead Press: 1x5x135, 1x3x140, 1x4x150
Close Grip Bench: 2x5x225, 1x4x225, 1x16x135
Cable Overhead Triceps Extension: 100 lbs
Close Grip Chins: 2x5x50, 1x4x50
Incline Curls: 40 lbs

Definitely wanted 5 on my overhead press and I really thought I could get it but, eh. It was still better than last month, which was 145 for 4 reps. Gonna switch to log press after my deload week next week. Kind of nervous to see what that will be like. My best ever log press is 165 (it was a push press). Surely I should be able to beat that now.

Midnight Science
Aug 7, 2009

It will destroy you.


Aren't your March 1st numbers for OHP a good improvement over your last set (the 22nd)? I think you should be happy and not sad. But that's, like, just my opinion.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

If you use a one rep max formula, my March 1 OHP ends up being a little worse.

Mostly my problem is that I really did think I could get 5 and I'm a big baby with entitlement issues.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Deload week is so wonderful. I went into the gym hungover and still did fine on my workout. Because it was super easy!

March 3, 2013
Squatz: 3x5x185
Front Squatz: 2x10x145
GHR: 2x12xBW
Some ab work.

I had a notion that I would do some conditioning, but I just wasn't feeling up to it. That's usually the case.

Gonna eat some eggs! I guess 8 of 'em. Any more than that and I get the sweats pretty bad.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Everybody wanna lift heavy rear end weights, don't nobody wanna be a bodybuilder.

March 4, 2013
Bench: 1x5x185, 2x5x155
NG Pull Up: 3x12xBW
DB Bench: 3x10x85
Chest Supported Row: 2x10x115
DB Tricep Extensions: 30 lbs
Band Tricep Extensions: Yes
BB Curl: 1x75x55
Rolling Thunder: Worked up to 190 lbs, failed at 200 lbs.

Started deload bench at 185, but that was really too much for a deload. No point in half-assing a deload.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Well I've gotten to that point in the deload where I'm just itching to get after it again. Oh well. I'll try hard again on Sunday.

March 7, 2013
Deadlift: 1x1x405, double overhand: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3EdGgZpB-M
Good Morning: 2x10x135
DB Row: 1x10x105, 1x20x105
Ab Wheel: 3x15
Hex dumbbell grippy dealy: Worked up to 45 lb

I always deadlift with straps and I get poo poo for it. But I just really really hate using a mixed grip. So I don't do it. So there.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Awesome morning today. Got my very first paper accepted! Wooooo! The "major revisions" aren't even very major. Probably because the paper rocks. Well not really, it's a pretty dinky little paper in a none-too-impressive journal. But I'm totally stoked!

Then I did this workout at about 8:30 in the AM. The last of the deload workouts.

March 8, 2013
Overhead Press: 3x5x95
Close Grip Bench: 3x5x205
Overhead Tricept Extensions: 100 lbs
Close Grip Chins: 3x5x50
Incline Curls: 40 lbs
Face Pulls: 100 lbs

I tried to have less rest between sets of close grip bench, as that's kind of been getting out of hand lately. So that's why I dropped the weight. I really think this workout is doing a lot to make my arms bigger, which rules. The heavy close grip bench is really great for the triceps, I think.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

You think you can take me? Well go ahead on.

It is so ugly outside right now. Just profoundly ugly. Why does snow have to be so ugly 95% of the time?

Anyway, deload week is over, so that's cool. Here's some squatting.

March 10, 2013
Squats: 1x5x185, 1x5x225, 1x1x245, 1x1x275, 1x10x245
Front Squats: 3x7x155
GHR: 3x13
RKC Planks: Yes

Then I ate some deeelishus ribs. A fine choice.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Everybody is walking around depressed about how ugly it is around here. But not me. I'm having a good time. Especially because it was bench day!

March 11, 2013
Bench Press: 1x5x165, 1x5x190, 1x1x215, 1x1x235, 1x8x215
Neutral Grip Pull Up: 3x13xBW
DB Bench: 2x8x87.5, 1x7x87.5
Chest Supported Rows: 3x10x120
DB Triceps Extensions: 35 lbs
Band Triceps Extensions: 3 sets
BB Curls: 1x80x55

My spotter said I could have had one more rep on the bench, but he's the type of dude who can grind them out well past when he looks like he should fail. He may have been right, but whatever. Anyway, the first rep out set at 215 I did on 5/3/1 was October 4, and I got 5 reps at that point. So that's progress! I've spent so much time not getting anywhere on the bench, so anything is a pretty big deal to me.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

I drove to the gym wearing sunglasses today. It ruled. I love daylight saving time. In the future TnG will be my abbreviation for Touch 'n' Go.

March 14, 2013
Deadlift: 1x4x415, 1x5x415 (TnG), 1x15x315 (TnG)
Snatch Grip Deadlift from Blocks; 1x5x225, 1x5x275, 2x5x325
Some ab stuff

The shortness of that writeup doesn't get across how exhausted the workout made me. The 1x15x315 deadlifts made my butt burn like crazy. I think I'll substitute this kind of set for my good mornings. It probably did a better job hitting the whole posterior chain. Specifically my butt, which is very important, obviously.

The snatch grip deadlift was too heavy at 325. I think I might have tweaked my lower back a little bit on it. It doesn't hurt now, but I'm not getting my hopes up. There's always the possibility that I get up in the middle of the night and end up in excruciating pain. We'll see. Frankly I'm ashamed... I thought I was smarter than that, but apparently not.

Anyway, this is me irl right now. In all the particulars.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePv1X7RxU8c#t=31s

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

OH MY GOD I"M SO SORE! All down my back, from my traps to my hamstrings (screw calves). I had a little SI joint pain from doing that stupid poo poo on snatch grip deadlifts yesterday, but a lot less than I deserve. Hopefully I'll be okay for squats on Sunday. If not, then I'll just go real light.

March 15, 2013
Log Press: Worked up to 2x1x175
Close Grip Bench: 5x5x205
Rope Triceps Extension: 100 lbs
Close Grip Chins: 1x5x50, 1x4x50, 1x4x45, 1x5x35
Incline Curls: 40 lbs
Band Curls: Some

I also tried to do some rest pause overhead press, but it didn't work out at all. I tried 115 and that was just too heavy, probably because I did it at the end of the workout. If I'm gonna do those, I think 95 lbs is probably the right way to go.

Overall I didn't feel very strong today. Probably because my back was just so worn out. HOWEVER, the log press is a personal best record! I haven't done the log in a couple years, but I got 165 at the two competitions I did. I'm sure I'll have more in me for the log press. Those two singles went pretty fast. In the competition my gym puts on, how well you do on the log press decides when you go on all the other events, with the best pressers going last. So I went first on all the events. I blame my long arms and my weakness.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

My SI joint don't hurt no more, so that's pretty cool. I got off real easy on that one. My lower back and hamstrings were still sore today, but I didn't let that stop me.

March 17, 2013
Squats: 1x3x205, 1x3x235, 1x1x265, 1x1x285, 1x7x265
Front Squats: 1x9x155, 2x8x155
GHR: 3x13
Planks: Yes

I like that business about warming up with something heavier than the working set. It really did help to make the weight feel lighter.

Okay screw all that stuff, because what really matters is this terrifying badger:



This guy was in the St. Patrick's Day parade. It was pretty cool and seriously reminded me of the celebration of special-ness in True Stories. In addition to that nightmare badger, there were bagpipes and an Elvis impersonator. You know, Irish stuff. Also there was this cool predator drone.



And finally, here's another shot of the badger. I wish I had gotten a better picture somehow or maybe video. I think he wanted me to not go to war or something, but the message as kind of lost in the horror.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

I just took a short online course on human subjects research. Turns out it's bad to give money to poor people, and the more money you give them the worse it is. Anyway, to the workout!

March 18, 2013
Bench: 1x3x205, 1x1x225, 1x1x245, 1x6x225
Neutral Grip Pullups: 3x13xBW
DB Bench: 1x10x87.5, 1x9x87.5, 1x7x87.5
Chest Supported Row: 3x10x120
DB Triceps Extension: 32.5 lbs
Band Triceps Extension: yeah
BB Curl: 1x70x55

I was a little disappointed in the bench. I really considered going for a 7th rep, but I just got too scared of failing it and making Jim Wendler mad. So that's the same as what I did last month. If I had gotten 7 reps I would have been ecstatic, so there wasn't a lot of room between being happy and sad. There was probably some improvement on this workout, but it's just not as fast as it has been and that's always hard to deal with. Some really strong dude told me that you just have to work hard and have faith that you'll improve. He's obviously right because, again, he's really strong.

JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Monster deadlift session today. I'm pretty sure Jack3d got in there today and just lifted the weight for me. Definitely a +10% day as Paul Carter would say. Also he would say I'm a vagina.

March 21, 2013
Deadlift: 1x5x415, 1x6x415 (TnG), 1x16x315 (TnG)
DB Row: 1x15x110
Ab Wheel: yes

I was going to go for another set of the DB rows, but my tunes died on me so I didn't. Everything just felt amazing today. One brother said my form was the best he's seen it on the deadlifts. Specifically I was keeping my lats tight. On the 16th rep of the 315 pulls my abs were really crumpling on me. Also my conditioning is absolute poo poo. I was sucking wind for about 5 minutes after that set.

Tunes for today were the Exploited. Great lifting music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TWBdh_rXYs

Also because I love this song and the word "sluts" is my favorite word and also too the video rules: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXqvuOjRq3o

PaganGoatPants
Jan 18, 2012

The Latest in Pagan Goat Undergarments


Great days are awesome. The opposite of those days suck bad. Last Thursday I struggled so hard I thought it was a heavy day...it was a deload day

(Training with my trainer so I don't really notice the specific weight numbers until after I'm done with everything)

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JohnnyOneJoke
Nov 22, 2007

Holy crap! A talking muffin!

Just be happy a lovely workout day fell on a deload day! Seems to me it's really important to rejoice in the good workouts and not get too bothered by the bad ones.

I'm not sure, but this may also be true for everything else in life.

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