|
My little girl is 6 years old and she is one of the three greatest things on the face of the planet as far as I'm concerned. She's loving, beautiful, smart and the most relevant part of this thread, a genuine innocent. She looks at everything with wonder and nothing but good thoughts. There's no malice in her at all, very little deviousness. She's the sweetest thing. Anyway gushing over, the way I see it, she's got 70+ years on this planet to be a cynical, downtrodden, miserable person up in front of her. So I see it as being part of my job to keep her happy and, and I suppose this sounds worse than it probably is, 'shield' her from the poo poo that she's going to have to deal with one day. I never lie to her, and I never withhold information from her. We've had a bunch of the big talks, sex and procreation, homosexuality, death, religion, and I think we've all dealt with these. She's absorbed that information clean and unadulterated from opinion as much as we possibly could to allow her to apply her acceptance and innocence of people to it and draw her own conclusions. For example, she's a big Glee fan, and when the subject of homosexuality came up, upon explanation of how it was no different to any other relationships she see's on the show and that the fact the characters were boy/boy in no way made their love different she just accepted that and was happy with the explanation. A year or two ago Disney princesses were a big thing for her, she loved the films, we've been to Disneyland twice and she loved the whole thing. Then one day she came home from school and wanted rid of all her princess stuff, she said 'M and E said it was babyish'. I was heartbroken that something she loved, and you could tell she wasn't doing it because of her own opinions whilst she was doing it, was ruined by some cynical little so-and-so's in the playground. If she'd drawn that conclusion herself it would be different. M&E have been an issue for a while now. I am a man, so female bullying is new to me, but I'm rapidly coming to understand that it's very different but in no way less devastating. We thought that now she's in a different class, separated because of age, that things were getting better. She was progressing in school and doing well, but it turns out not as I found out. Now here comes the bit I feel mildly guilty and indecisive about. She still believes in fairies, and to be honest I've perpetuated it. I haven't said 'they don't exist' explicitly. But what I have said is that nobody has seen them, but that doesn't mean they don't exist since maybe they don't want to be seen. Babyish I know, but it kind of feels like it's one of the few last bastions of her innocence. The guilty bit? Every so often she writes a letter to 'Clara-belle' Clara-belle is a tooth fairy that's been visiting her since she lost her first tooth. Izzy writes letters to her asking questions about what it's like to be a fairy and what fairy-land is like. What it's like to have wings, silly stuff like that. I then write a reply to the letter and sneak it under her pillow when she's asleep, she writes replies and so it goes on. I'm almost sure she knows it's me writing the replies, but you just can't tell sometimes with kids. Normal adult rules don't apply. It seems to me that because they're used to taking so much for granted because of trust in their parents they'll sometimes go along with things even if they're not sure. A couple of letters back she asked for some wings, and I'm making some for her when she comes back from holiday that I'll sneak in her room when she comes back. Anyway, the last letter started with this corker... "Dear Clara-belle, can you keep a topsy secret, two people have been bullying me for 6 years" My gut thudded and I felt sick. Three things bothered me. One she's still being bullied. Two she want's to keep it secret out of shame and/or fear, and three she feels like its being going on her entire life. The letter then went on to ask questions about the type of fairy wings she's getting, winter spring etc... So this has been more of a cathartic post I guess, just a pointless way for me to project my sadness at her innocence being ruined by a couple of cynical little sods with parents who we know for a fact (because we know them) don't put half the effort in a parent should. We're doing the meeting/letter to school thing to deal with the bullying and it will stop this time. But the question is, should I gently put a stop to this fairy stuff. In my heart I know the answer should be to 'screw everyone else' and do what feels right. But am I blinded by my love for her and my love for her naivety?
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 08:13 |
|
|
|
| # ? May 20, 2013 18:28 |
|
|
"You spoil that kid every chance you get." -- Detective William Somerset e: Actual response: I became cynical and untrusting at a very young age as a response to severe bullying and in hindsight it really didn't help me to cope with it at all, it just made it even harder for me to make friends. Torka fucked around with this message at Feb 21, 2013 around 08:33 |
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 08:28 |
|
|
You have an amazing outlet to give her good advice in the form of a fairy. Why ruin that? A child's imagination is the greatest thing in the world. Never kill it.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 08:31 |
|
|
Torka posted:"You spoil that kid every chance you get." Agreeing with this. People always say that bullying builds character and makes you tougher or whatever, but honestly I've never ever EVER seen this to be the case. All I got out of it was social anxiety. You doin' good, OP. She's only 6, she can believe in fairies or whatever for a little while longer.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 09:24 |
|
|
Paper Jam Dipper posted:You have an amazing outlet to give her good advice in the form of a fairy. I was going to say just the same thing. Why not write a note back from the 'faerie' letting her know that Clarabell spoke to her Daddy about the bullying, because she thought it would be a good idea for him to talk to her school. Daddy can help her because Daddy's visible to other adults, who can help make the bullies stay away. She can't be seen by big people, but she can certainly leave a note for her very understanding father to make sure he fixes things up; he cares just as much about her happiness and safety as Clarabell, and Clarabell will have to tell her that some secrets are so big and so scary that they need to be told so people can help, and bullying is one of those secrets. Her imagination is not and will never be a dangerous thing- it doesn't make her a target; it gives her a place to feel safe and creative and learn about herself through fantasy and dreams. Don't take that away from her- let her back down from it only when she's ready. I think one of the things I'm most bitter about is the fact that I was told certain things didn't exist...I felt so bereft when those safe havens were taken from me. And I still believe in the Daoine Sidhe (faeries), but my Da was fullblood Irish. Just trust that you're doing a good thing by giving her a fantasy to indulge in; she'll never be bitter at you, and she'll never take you for a liar in 10 years just because you're doing this for her now. Her 'bullying' problem isn't the fault of having an imagination, or believing in faeries, or an indulgent father, or anything else... ...it happens because she's a child, and children will get bullied. No child has ever grown up without a single bully- bullies have bullies even, I'd imagine, even if those bullies aren't other children.  It'll work out- you sound like an amazing dad; my Da used to do the same things you do, and reading your post left me as teary-eyed as gently caress. Just...don't drink yourself to death or something, okay? Then you'll have a one-up on my Da. He left way too soon and there were so many things I could have used his help and love and imagination to get through easier. 8 or 9 years on I'm still pissed off at him for that, and I'm 25 now. Your daughter is an incredibly lucky little girl to have someone like you around, so you need to stay around and continue being the awesome person you are for her. Freakbox fucked around with this message at Feb 21, 2013 around 09:45 |
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 09:27 |
|
|
The one thing I'd say is, think what you'll say if she asks you a direct question ('Does Clarabelle exist?"). My 5-year-old started asking if Santa was real last month, and I was really torn because she loved Christmas and it was magic this year, but ultimately I felt that it was better to teach her that I'll always tell her the truth,especially in response to a direct question. And yes, I didn't want her going back to the little shits in the playground and proudly saying, 'My mummy says Santa IS real, so there' and getting ridiculed. But I had a real feeling of panic when she asked the question and I had to stall her for a couple of days deciding what to do. I hope the little witches bullying her can be stopped. Good luck.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 09:42 |
|
|
Davethehedgehog posted:Anyway, the last letter started with this corker... How do you know she's not talking about you and her mom?
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 11:32 |
|
|
Let her keep her imagination. Mine has got me through many hard times, and I think your daughter will be better for it in the end. My mom always filled my head with folklore and it got me through some hard times, y'know, being able to think in the abstract.
Nephielle fucked around with this message at Feb 21, 2013 around 11:45 |
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 11:40 |
|
|
Freakbox's idea sounds really good. It's not yours or your little'un's fault she's getting bullied. If it wasn't fairies or princesses it would be something else. I wasn't bullied much in school at all, but one time when somebody tried it it was because I was wearing a jacket with a zip. Kids and adults can be horrible and stupid assholes sometimes. BTW, don't say what my dad said: "Just punch them in the face."* It served me quite well when I was little and I left a trail of bloody noses in my tree-climbing tomboy wake, but it doesn't really work when you get older. *you don't seem the sort to say this.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 11:54 |
|
|
Exalting belief for the sake of belief usually ends horribly. I'd recommend coming clean to her before it sets in.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 12:01 |
|
|
Cardinal Ximenez posted:Exalting belief for the sake of belief usually ends horribly. I'd recommend coming clean to her before it sets in. Nonsense. There's nothing wrong with a little kid believing in stuff. She'll grow out of it, and it'll be an opportunity to explain scientific reasoning and critical thinking to her when she realizes fairies aren't real. She's got the rest of her life to be a boring atheist.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 12:03 |
|
|
Youve talked to your 6 year old about sex and religion?
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 12:14 |
|
|
Let her believe in fairies and enjoy herself, she's a child. School already kills creativity, you shouldn't.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 12:23 |
|
|
NtotheTC posted:Youve talked to your 6 year old about sex and religion? I am more disturbed by the fact that she is allowed to watch Glee.  As for the OP... Freakbox' reply is all sorts of awesome.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 12:26 |
|
|
Freakbox posted:Why not write a note back from the 'faerie' letting her know that Clarabell spoke to her Daddy about the bullying, because she thought it would be a good idea for him to talk to her school. This is the only part I feel concerned about. It might be better for Clarabell to urge her to talk to her daddy about it, because the only way to make something like this better is to talk about it. She may see it as a betrayal of her trust if Clarabell goes straight to daddy without consulting her. Even fairies and grownups get bullied sometimes, and there's absolutely no shame in discussing it even though it seems scary.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 12:27 |
|
|
NtotheTC posted:Youve talked to your 6 year old about sex and religion? Some kids ask about it early. There is always an age appropriate way to answer. OP, everyone else has good advice. There's nothing wrong with the fairy thing and if it wasn't that they'd find something else to pick on. I hope you can get something done. Maybe you should talk to your daughter straight up about the bullying.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 12:29 |
|
|
The fairies are fine, don't worry about that. I have not read these books myself, but apparently there are a bunch of books that deal specifically with young girls and the dynamics of girl bullies in particular. Here's one that seems pretty recommended on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Little-Girls-...ds=odd+girl+out
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 12:40 |
|
|
NtotheTC posted:Youve talked to your 6 year old about sex and religion? Why not? I've been talking to my kids about this since they were old enough to ask. I mean, I wouldn't do the 'penis in vagina' talk, but you do actually have to explain that Uncle Ted and Uncle Graham love each other just like Mummy and Daddy do, and that we don't go to church like Jean because we're not Catholic, and what a Catholic is, and we don't go to church because we don't believe in God but other people do and that's fine, and yes she can go when she's older, and no you don't wear special clothes, and yes, Baby Jesus probably does live there but she's unlikely to be able to play with him, and no, there are no lions in church. Or Ben 10. Or fairies. No, those are angels. No. No, you won't grow wings. Who told you that? No, that's Batman you're thinking of. ...etc.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 12:48 |
|
|
NtotheTC posted:Youve talked to your 6 year old about sex and religion? http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Com...e/dp/0818402539 I would have been around six years old when my parents gave me this (apparently very popular) book to read, and that's about the age it's aimed at too. Describes the mechanics clearly without being lewd.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:04 |
|
|
Thanks for the replies guys. A couple of responses Freakbox That's a really good suggestion I'll go down that route I think. And I don't drink other than the odd whisky on a Saturday night. Thanks for your kind words :-) Shonagon You know, the Santa thing did come up, from my 4 year old boy actually. The route I went down was not explicitly denying, more along the lines of telling him it didn't matter what Harry said, it's up to him to decide. The explicit question was 'where do the presents come from because Harry say's Santa's not real', not 'does santa exist'. If it had been the latter I think I would have had to own up. Fucks sake, what kind of 4 year old not only doesn't believe but feels it important to tell others. That said you'd be suprised what they talk about even at that age. My little boy came and told me the other day that his friend had told him his 'mum had a baby and it came out dead'. That was a difficult one to deal with I can tell you! NtotheTC Yep, she's a pretty clever little girl and she asks questions. I tend to go down the route of not hiding her from anything that's part of life, especially when she straight up asks. Even the fairy thing I sort of fudged it, and I feel bad about even that, hence the thread. When a 6 year old asks you where babies come from you just gotta answer. If I avoid it she might go get her answers from a less savoury or accurate route. I didn't go into the total mechanics, because she's probably not prepared for that and she didn't really ask. Anyway, it's not like there's anything to be ashamed of. As much as I'd like to deny it selfishly, one day she's going to meet boys or girls and want to have sex. We're human animals after all. On religion I think that's a symptom of the society we live in. Her class has Christians, Muslims, Buddhists and whatever else. She asked me why so-and-so believed in this and we believed in that. My answer was along the lines of nobody is 100% sure, but what's important is that she's nice to the people around her no-matter what she believes and she'd be OK. I didn't go much further than that, but I didn't want her going off telling some other poor 6 year old they were wrong or whatever. Funnily enough, if you were to ask her if God existed, she would say yes, but she doesnt fit any religion around that as far as I know. We don't have bibles or any religious texts in the house. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Thats for that recco, I'll check it out. I'm hoping this is more a case of being 'picked on' rather than seriously bullied. I guess I'll know more after meeting the teachers. Fireless Phoenix Heh, mothers influence, I do not approve 
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:07 |
|
|
NtotheTC posted:Youve talked to your 6 year old about sex and religion? Fireless Phoenix posted:I am more disturbed by the fact that she is allowed to watch Glee. These two things tell me that kid is gonna be somewhat of a target. Kids who stick out in the "wrong" way get "attention." Mostly through the other kid's ignorance. You're gonna have to teach her coping and diffusing skills, OP. There's nothing wrong with your kid, but that's not something a bully is gonna give a poo poo about. Every adult has mental calluses of some sort, no exceptions. Doesn't mean we're all cynical. When I was 7 I still believed in Santa.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:11 |
|
|
Davethehedgehog posted:That said you'd be suprised what they talk about even at that age. My little boy came and told me the other day that his friend had told him his 'mum had a baby and it came out dead'. That was a difficult one to deal with I can tell you! My four year old was crying the other night because he doesn't want to die. He didn't care that it wouldn't happen for ages and ages till he was an incredibly old man; he just doesn't want to die. 
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:11 |
|
|
Real life is writing letters to fairies when you have problems. There's nothing wrong with letting a kid have an imagination, but address the bullying issue in a constructive, applicable way. What kids learn at an early age sticks with them for life, so teach your daughter actual lessons that will help her throughout life. There's this tenancy people have to glorify imagination, especially with children, in a way that misses the point-you see, you're not going to always be around to do poo poo for your kid, so help her to help herself. Fairies and dragons can be dealt with when she comes out to you as otherkin.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:13 |
|
|
I don't disagree with most of the advice you've received. Imagination is wonderful. Still, a 6 year old who doesn't believe in Santa or fairies or princesses is not cynical. Kids mature earlier or later, and 1st grade is when a lot of kids figure it out. My son told me that he knew I was Santa when he was 7, and I guarantee he turned it around in his head for a long time before he said anything. Don't disparage little kids because they are at a different level of understanding than your daughter is.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:17 |
|
|
Chubba posted:I don't disagree with most of the advice you've received. Imagination is wonderful. Still, a 6 year old who doesn't believe in Santa or fairies or princesses is not cynical. Kids mature earlier or later, and 1st grade is when a lot of kids figure it out. My son told me that he knew I was Santa when he was 7, and I guarantee he turned it around in his head for a long time before he said anything. Yeah, it's not so much the not believing, it's more the kind of know-it all telling everyone thing that bothered me. Like I said afterwards though, I think that's just a kid having the inability to know what information is worth sharing and what's not. It's more a case of "I know this, you don't so I'm going to tell you" edit: Yeah I was being a bit unfair there when I read it back. I would edit it out, but I'll leave it in there as testament. Davethehedgehog fucked around with this message at Feb 21, 2013 around 13:26 |
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:24 |
|
|
Do you guys really see lying to kids as encouraging their imagination? It seems the opposite - unambiguously stating that there are fairies no longer stimulates their imagination as you've stated it as a fact. I don't see why you'd confuse them like that. If you want to encourage her imagination, you'd tell her that you've never met Clarabelle and that you don't know any fairies, but there could be. Which is true. You're not telling her that she can't believe in what she wants. Telling her that there are fairies doesn't stimulate her imagination. Allow her to build her own reality. You don't want her to have to feel like she has to be two different people and if you're visibly pleased when she talks about more kiddy stuff she's going to react to those stimuluses accordingly. She'll try to please the bullies at school behaving one way and will try to please you another way. which sucks, because then whom can she be honest with? And what does honesty even mean?
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:28 |
|
|
No Wave posted:Do you guys really see lying to kids as encouraging their imagination? It seems the opposite - unambiguously stating that there are fairies no longer stimulates their imagination as you've stated it as a fact. I don't see why you'd confuse them like that. I just checked back because I wasn't sure, but that was what I said? "I haven't said 'they don't exist' explicitly. But what I have said is that nobody has seen them, but that doesn't mean they don't exist since maybe they don't want to be seen." What I'm wondering is if I should have just said, no, they don't.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:30 |
|
|
Davethehedgehog posted:Yeah, it's not so much the not believing, it's more the kind of know-it all telling everyone thing that bothered me. Like I said afterwards though, I think that's just a kid having the inability to know what information is worth sharing and what's not. It's more a case of "I know this, you don't so I'm going to tell you" Yeah, you can't blame a 6 year old for not respecting the power of the imagination in other 6 year olds. They're not wired that way, and it's unfair to fault them for that. It's also part of growing up to encounter people who believe very different things to you and who may be abrasive in how they approach those differences, and to learn how to cope with that. Also remember that having a kid who has flights of fantasy and a great imagination doesn't necessarily require you to have a child who genuinely believes in stuff like Santa and faries. I've seen stuff written by adults where they felt that their parents had been dishonest with them when they straight up asked about these things and were told they exist; by the time a child is asking, they're already questioning once sincerely held beliefs, and it's a disservice to this questioning attitude to lie to them. It doesn't sound like you're planning on doing this, just a general observation.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:32 |
|
|
She's six, right? So basically she's saying that these other two girls have been bullying her since she's known them (I'll assume her saying 'six years' is typical kid hyperbole)? Is there any way at all you can talk to M and E's parents about this, or maybe their teacher? There's no straight-up way to deal with bullies as a kid, really. You can physically fight back with some, on others, shaming might work, and especially older kids are more susceptible to reason, but truly rotten apples will be deterred by nothing. E.g. I was intensely bullied at age 10, and when my bullies stopped after my teacher repeatedly told them to, they attempted to gain my favour by bullying someone else - which obviously didn't work. Don't blame yourself for your kid being bullied. Put the blame on the bullies and talk to someone who can change the situation.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:33 |
|
|
You know way more about parenting than most of somethingawful. You may be barking up the wrong tree here.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:36 |
|
|
Davethehedgehog posted:I just checked back because I wasn't sure, but that was what I said? No Wave fucked around with this message at Feb 21, 2013 around 13:42 |
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:37 |
|
|
I'm training to be a teacher at the minute, and I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that most kids are bullied and bully others at some point in life. You aren't necessarily 'making your daughter a target' at this point, but you do need to teach her coping mechanisms. The other thing to remember is that while 6 seems so very young to us, to your daughter and her classmates, it probably seems really grown up. Inevitably from this point on, there will be friction amongst kids about who is 'babyish' and it all depends on their frame of reference. Perhaps these bullies have older siblings who they're keen to emulate, which could be the source of their attitude. It could be coming from their parents. I worked at Clark's shoes last summer and heard loads of parents criticising their kids (who were under 5) for being too 'childish' in their choice of shoes. It's sad, but it happens.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 13:38 |
|
|
Shonagon posted:My four year old was crying the other night because he doesn't want to die. He didn't care that it wouldn't happen for ages and ages till he was an incredibly old man; he just doesn't want to die. Yeah, let us know if he figures out a good way to cope with the issue
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 14:16 |
|
|
^My daughter has been obsessed with death for a few years now--it's getting better--and my mother's response to her barrage of questions about what happens when we die and will you die and will you be sad when I die? was to tell my child not to worry about it, because Grandma won't die until she's very old, like 100. Which made my daughter convinced that the number 100 killed people. So don't do that. At any rate, I think you're going about it in the right way, but I don't think there's any harm in talking directly to her about learning some coping skills, learning not to be afraid to go to adults if she does feel bullied and, in turn, showing her how it feels to be bullied so she doesn't do it to other kids. Like someone else said, it seems like most kids are either bullied or bullies at some point in their youth--I had to do that with my own daughter, who when through a small phase of calling other kids names. "And what would happen if another kid called you smelly?" I asked, and she burst into tears in horror at the thought, which was the end of that. On another note, I told her last Christmas (she's seven) that Santa wasn't real. We had a long, long talk about how Santa is a nice idea but isn't real and the presents all come from mommy and daddy and assorted relatives. I asked her if she understood, and she indicated that she did, so I figured that was that. I promise you that afterwards, the child went on a little Santa kick, talking constantly about Santa coming for Christmas and what sort of presents he was bringing her and stuff like that. During the course of one conversation I gave up and asked if she was excited for Santa to come. "He's not real, you know" she responded "but I really like thinking about him." I guess I'm saying that knowing something isn't real doesn't necessarily stifle their imagination.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 14:40 |
|
|
Is there a difference between normal childhood teasing and bullying? I think there is, and if you never learn to deal with the former life will be a difficult journey. "You're a baby because you like Cinderella." - typical 6 year old interaction. Shunning the Cinderella lover, repeated taunting, violence...that's bullying. Teach your kids to know who they are and like themselves, and that not everyone will agree with or like them. It is an important lesson that needs to be taught early.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 14:50 |
|
|
/\/\/\ Yes, I think there's a difference between normal childhood teasing and outright bullying. I think everyone's been on both sides of teasing, but not everyone has bullied or been bullied. Granted, when you're a kid, especially an overly sensitive kid, it can be hard to tell the difference. Adults can find it hard to tell the different, too, since you often see people defending bullying as "no big deal" because it's just a part of childhood or whatever. I think teasing is normal and can't be avoided, but we can mitigate bullying. I'm not a child psychologist though, so I have no clue as to how. Ashenai posted:Yeah, let us know if he figures out a good way to cope with the issue There are philosophies that wrestle with this issue. I like Buddhism and Taoism myself. Not necessarily all the supernatural stuff like reincarnation, but concepts such as emptiness and not-self, which I think take a big bite out of the existential fear of death. Nothing is perfect, though. And I don't think a little kid can absorb this sort of stuff. I think emphasising the fact that everything changes, everything is in a state of change, nothing is permanent, things are always becoming other things or giving rise to other things, and everything is connected, are all good ways of explaining it to a child. Blue Star fucked around with this message at Feb 21, 2013 around 15:04 |
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 15:00 |
|
|
Palisader posted:
Oh, yeah. Kid: Mummy, make my teddy cat a lead! I want to take teddy cat for walks! And I need to stroke teddy cat and love her and give her lots of nice things to eat... Me: Be careful she doesn't scratch you! Kid, witheringly and pityingly: Mummy, she's a toy.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 15:01 |
|
|
If this whole process does end with breaking her illusions about her fairy friend, you might show her http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...0&pagenumber=16 this thread, or maybe AssassinPrincess's eventual book, it might make her feel better about being into "baby stuff." Also, you cannot assume the school is going to stop this. Worst case, they could even try to shift the blame onto her. Keep a close eye on this, do not stand for any bullshit, and do not allow platitudes to substitute for action. I'm thinking of Marge Simpson telling Bart "Anyone who'd beat you up for wearing a shirt is not your friend," or a dozen less funny pieces of non-advice counselors gave to me as a child. If this is physical bullying, and it does not stop, you teach that girl to gently caress a kid up (and when to do it...if it's done right she'll only ever need to do it once, in her entire life).
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 15:03 |
|
|
Are you sure it's the two previous people mentioned that she's referring to when she says shes being bullied? Maybe she thinks you're a bully because you make her eat vegetables.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 15:53 |
|
|
|
| # ? May 20, 2013 18:28 |
|
|
Blue Star posted:There are philosophies that wrestle with this issue. I like Buddhism and Taoism myself. Not necessarily all the supernatural stuff like reincarnation, but concepts such as emptiness and not-self, which I think take a big bite out of the existential fear of death. Nothing is perfect, though. Oh yeah, I'm familiar with most of that stuff. I was mostly just joking about how death is both a simple enough issue for a four-year-old to understand and fear, and a complex enough one that we still don't have a good answer for it. Essentially, when it comes to fear of death, the only difference between us and Shonagon's kid is that we've learned not to cry about it.
|
| # ? Feb 21, 2013 15:59 |
|
