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There is actually a way to get Calamitous Cutlery Juggling, but, like all good things in Quest Squires, it requires some close reading and appropriate actions. I did this myself for our second run-through after Dapthogg wiped our first party. The keys lie in the description of CCJ, as well as module Q-17: Into The Pantry of Peril. Which, by the way, served as the introduction to the excellent five-module 'food arc', although as you can see, not many groups made it past Dapthogg to face the ultimate machinations of the P'edragann and its plan to inundate the Dragynrealm in the diabolical chili con flagration. My group managed to get all the way (At no small cost), and the chili recipe to be prepared and served during the final boss battle insured the group had tears in their eyes for the climactic sacrifice scene, and gave the fight itself some marvelous urgency due to the QM's notes banning any milk products from the house. My QM still keeps his milk in the garage. At any rate, CCJ states that you may wield not just any knife or dagger, but any fork or spoon as well. Alone, this doesn't mean much, as forks come to the same problem that bladed weapons do (although their damage may be mitigated by fine silk gloves, leading to much fewer deaths at fancy dress banquets), and spoons are sub-par weapons as listed on table 1-3: Miscellaneous Tavern Furnishings vs. Common Races. However, in Module Q-17, the Dread Pantrate Roberts wields a unique weapon: The Ca'el Longspoon. The only problem is that when slain, the Dread Pantrate falls over the railing of his butter schooner, taking his equipment with him. This can be solved by the same trick as the cheese-which-shall-not-be-named, and having the guy that touches his spoon just drop it on the deck or hand it off to whoever wants it. You now have a weapon, doing marvelous damage and specifically described as a spoon. And since it's blunt, you can safely use it with CCJ without worrying about the gauntlets. One small problem presents itself, but only for a moment. Since the Ca'el Longspoon is not on the equipment table, it seems at first that you can only have the one. However, Chapter 4 of the player's book states: "Merchants in many towns may sell and buy anything a Squire may have in his inventory." Since they buy anything, it's obvious they would then sell what they bought. So you simply take the spoon back to town, sell it, then buy as many as you can carry.
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Feb 26, 2013 12:53
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 Knowing that this is even possible is giving me the rising urge to get a group together and find a QM to run us through the entire food arc, plus Q-16 and maybe even Q-11 to give the proper context. With that mystery solved, another one that's bothered me for years: What the hell was the point of the Kindervolk? They were like High Halflings in every way, except not qualifying for anything that required Halflings or High Halflings in particular.
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Mar 1, 2013 02:05
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There was supposed to be a whole Kindervolk supplement but it never saw the light of day, as far as I know. A friend of mine had an early draft from a con playtest (how he snuck it out I have no idea). Basically the Kindervolk were going to be the Prussians of the halfling world, in every sense of the word. Rural, but also very organized and militaristic. Sort of poor-man's tinker gnomes as well - mechanically inclined but not mad inventors. Frankly it looked pretty neat, but what I saw was in no way playable. I don't know whether Quigley just gave up on them or what.
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Mar 1, 2013 02:20
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I was reading recently through Z-Kappa-Pi 15: The Lost City of the Ruined Tower of Ghostly Demonologgie, and I realized why we had so many difficulties with the module back in the day. You see, on sub-level alpha.2, there is a singular trapdoor which is the only means of entry or egress into the lost city proper, below the many-layered pyramid of rainbows and feather death. The only way to open this trapdoor is to manipulate the godly statues of the False Gods of Crynedicea into a specific pattern. The problem is that the statues are in disrepair and cannot be manipulated. Well, that's an easily solved puzzle, you hire three hundred forty three hirelings and set them to work in the tin mines from part 3, the flooded copper mine from level alpha.2 (not to be confused with the SUB-level), fire up the forge from the entrance to the pyramid of rainbows and feather death and repair the statues, which is an operation which will only set you back around 134.55 gold pieces (since you can technically buy one breathing tube for all the copper miners since the print clearly states "place your mouths on it to breathe") assuming a good loyalty check which will make hirelings technically owe you money 45% of the time. The problem is that if you have any godly affiliation at all, you aren't allowed to manipulate false idols at any time at the risk of deadly divine thundersmites, level 4. That's the one that annihilates you for every point of damage you take. And if you have no godly affiliation, you are triple-damned by touching the statue which instead invokes the transport instantly to the hell of lockers and tight crotches spell permanently. Hirelings can never be tricked into this or enspelled at the risk of losing all Hire Privileges forever, either. Back in the day we thought we only had to repair the statues, and never understood why we couldn't proceed further! Egg on my face.
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Mar 1, 2013 02:55
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Did anyone else ever do up their own character sheets? I made my group play it about a year back, I can't find the rest of the files but I remember the primary statblock sheet that shows the interlocked attribute system: That was a fun game, I should finish out the sheets. I think the derived atts like defense and hit points and mana went into the niches between the stat points.
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Mar 1, 2013 03:40
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Rulebook Heavily posted:Back in the day we thought we only had to repair the statues, and never understood why we couldn't proceed further! Egg on my face. AFAIK most QMs quietly houseruled another way in (the description of the Ruddy Wench tavern in Diners of Dapthogg can be interpreted to mean there's a tunnel to the lost city in the cheese cellar, and since it's based on something Quigley wrote you won't lose your QM license), but there's actually a solution for this. It's only hinted at in the module itself, in an inscription on the frescos of Megan, False Goddess of Whores and Lying Bitches in part 1, but you can manipulate the statues and open the trapdoors with no penalty if you have permission and a signed note from Quigley. At the time Quigley considered the Lost City of the Ruined Tower of Ghostly Demonologgie to be his greatest work, and since his ex-wife had recently left him and taken one of his prized possessions (her dice collection) with her, Quigley was very paranoid that the players might ruin his finely-crafted dungeon by looting and mishandling its greatest treasures instead of just admiring them. With that in mind, he instituted a policy that you can only continue into the lost city and marvel at Quigley's milieu if he had inspected your group (usually just resumes for both players and PCs and the QM's ID number would do) and determined that you were worthy. It's become a little easier lately, ever since that infamous meteorite strike messed up Quigley's records and he began appointing Squires of the Peace to help manage the workload while he fixed everything and reviewed old SNES games. A lot of Squires of the Peace are more lenient and will let you in without a psych check on the QM if at least half the players have been vouched for by members of whatever G+ circles the SP was recruited from, and some of them even admit women players.
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Mar 1, 2013 04:24
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Quigley's privately operated crowdfunding project Endless Donjon of Infinite Mystery, the promised 1000 page megadungeon catering to older-school tastes and men who like a lot of bare breasted amazon ladies, has become stalled indefinitely. Anyone know what's up?
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Apr 22, 2013 15:20
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I heard his mom threw away the original manuscript after Quigley refused to walk his dog one day.
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Apr 22, 2013 16:09
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I heard he was trying to partner up with D.W. Bradley (of the Wizardry games) and it fell through, despite their deep mutual admiration for old-school topless Amazons.
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Apr 22, 2013 16:12
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Rulebook Heavily posted:Quigley's privately operated crowdfunding project Endless Donjon of Infinite Mystery, the promised 1000 page megadungeon catering to older-school tastes and men who like a lot of bare breasted amazon ladies, has become stalled indefinitely. Anyone know what's up? He threw it out after being receiving blinding flashes of insight to create Infinite Donjon of Endless Mystery, which will be 1500 pages and cover the environs outside of the megadungeon, and describing three types of different bare breasted amazon ladies. He is still in the process of writing it, as he can only write when he has the proper inspiration. We can expect the crowdfunding for this one by early 2015. Unfortunately Quigley's secret website isn't up anymore because he had to use the money for the latest payment to buy important inspirational artwork.
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Apr 22, 2013 20:47
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I wanted to send like $5 his way out of principle, but when even the $500 contributor level reward was literally just a signed copy of the Cavernous Mines adventure with the kobold foreman's name replaced with the contributor's, I felt that it wasn't really worth it. I mean, I already have my own signed copy of Cavernous Mines with the kobold foreman's name replaced with my own from that contest he run in Squire Magazine #92.
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Apr 23, 2013 00:31
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Quigley used to be active on G+, but recently his account went private and you have to send him a portfolio of all the gaming stuff you've ever worked on to get added to his circles.
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Apr 23, 2013 00:37
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Mikan posted:Quigley used to be active on G+, but recently his account went private and you have to send him a portfolio of all the gaming stuff you've ever worked on to get added to his circles. That's too bad, I would totally have wanted to be G+ buddies with somebody who cast such a long shadow on my gaming past. I was even considering looking for an abandonware emulation of one of the old Quigley-authored PC games (you know, the ones as buggy and uneven as the paper game, where you run around and collect the leather belts from every foe you slay because that was the only way to get money).
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Apr 23, 2013 19:28
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Winson_Paine posted:Did anyone else ever do up their own character sheets? I made my group play it about a year back, I can't find the rest of the files but I remember the primary statblock sheet that shows the interlocked attribute system: I always renamed Mirth as Gregariousness in my games in order to have 3 M and 3 G attributes for symmetry's sake.
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Apr 23, 2013 19:45
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I was asked to do a GenCon update in #questtaberna, so here goes. As some of you know, Quigley has a history with GenCon. He managed to get banned at ENWorld years ago, told everyone he was targeted by a group of conservative Taoist Circus Maximus posters and decided to convince them to unban him by wandering around GenCon with a megaphone shouting "Morrus of ENWorld is a kiddy fiddler". That started two traditions - Quigley getting kicked out of GenCons and the Open Letter To ENWorld rants that at one point made up 50% of Squire Magazine. This year, we have a new record! Quigley was pretty polite this year and actually left behind his megaphones in favor of introducing a new size of Quest Squires shirts, XXXXXL. Unfortunately, three hours in someone said that Dragynrealm would make a good Fate game at a nearby table, and after having Fate explained to him, he threw a giant novelty d5 at her head. I've heard a rumor that she threw herself out of her wheelchair on purpose and it's all part of the big ENWorld/Chaosium conspiracy to silence him, but he's still fighting back: including the twenty minutes it took to explain Fate to him, three minutes to catch him hiding under Adam Koebel's chair and thirty-five minutes of crying, Quigley valiantly stood his ground for 3 hours 58 min, beating 2010's Sock Incident by a full hour and a half. Quest on, Theodore! 
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Aug 18, 2013 16:37
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I was there for the Sock incident. Did he use his 'Remember the Maine' defense and blame everything on Spain again?
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Aug 18, 2013 17:07
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I've heard he actually was conciliatory in the venue itself, but once he was outside he had an epic shirtless rant about perfidious Albion. So basically a repeat of 2007.
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Aug 18, 2013 17:35
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Rather than have this be the new thread necroed Ape Fight, I am going to send it off in a burning boat with its swords and armor and things into the Mines of Gold.
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Aug 19, 2013 14:38
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