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gers on the internet. Hi. I'm not sure why I bought another account to post this thread, since I'm a pretty low profile boring poster and my few friends who have accounts here would recognize my situation and the way I type anyway, but here's ten bucks for Richard 'cause he's such a swell guy and I like his website. Dunno why I felt the need to clarify that either but there you go. I'm a 26 year old guy and I've been blessed with a hereditary condition called scoliosis, which is that thing you get checked for in elementary school where the nurse touches you all up and down your back and confuses your little preteen mind. It's also that thing that's supposed to be a non-issue in countries other than, like, Ethiopia or Belarus. It's also that thing that medieval folks like Richard III of England had (they dug him up recently from a tesco parking lot and his skeleton was super hosed up.) About ten years ago I had surgery for the condition which seemed to hold up for a while but about 2 or 3 years ago something hosed up in my back and it's been way downhill ever since. My whole torso is pretty much twisted clockwise from a top-down perspective, meaning I have a big hunch on my back and my ribs jut out on my left front side making my chest uneven and weird as well. My shoulder blades are also a mess, the right one jutting out like a shark fin from my hunch and the right one being all sucked in by the lopsided nature of my disastrous torso. I did some googling and I think this picture http://imgur.com/2gagUSu is probably the closest I found to what my deal is, even though it's apparently a tiny girl child, but whatever. People I've told say I hide it pretty well under my clothes, which makes sense since I wear jackets and hoodies even in the summer. Only one person has ever said "is something wrong with your back?" to me, and that was a couple years ago before it all got worse. Anyway, I saw a respected orthopedic doctor a couple months ago about it and he took some X-rays and a CT scan. He said he couldn't see anything on the x-ray or the scan that would indicate improper healing. I told him I was concerned about my deteriorating appearance and I think he took (and ran with) that as some kind of sign that this is all in my head and I'm going crazy or something and was thenceforth pretty dismissive of me. I don't think I'm going crazy with regard to my changing appearance, but I suppose anything's possible. Either way since my spine is all trussed up with metal scaffolding that's healed to the bone, corrective surgery is either impossible or a gigantic risk of spinal cord damage and/or death. Being physically hosed up has always been an issue for me and I have struggled with my appearance for my entire teen/adult life, but I don't think I've ever felt as bad as I do lately, and here's the main reason why: I decided about 5 or 6 years ago that I'm pretty much an unlovable/undesirable person at my core and that to pursue any kind of physical or emotional relationship with a woman would just be lying to myself and would end up loving me up even worse (I wondered sometimes if that conclusion is the result of the clinical depression I've been living with since childhood or if it was a rational decision based on everything I know about myself, but I think now that my body is ruined, making that distinction is irrelevant.) About two weeks ago I was drinking with one of my closest friends and our mutual friend whom I'll give stupid fake names like Mike and Francine respectively and for no reason. I'll admit I've been attracted to Francine for a while but I always set it aside because of the aforementioned conclusion I made about myself years ago. So that night I got very drunk, so drunk that I've actually forgotten most of the things that happened. But I do remember that she sat in my lap and, drunkenly forgetting myself, I kissed her. I remember asking her if that was okay and she said yes and so we made out for a while and at some point we (almost certainly me first) fell asleep like that. I felt pretty good the next day, like I had done something good even though I was so drunk I missed work (luckily we were closed that day due to a giant snowstorm, which was really lucky.) But the day after that, it hit me hard, this feeling that I had had a taste of something that I was supposed to have abandoned, that wasn't meant for people like me. It hosed me up really bad. Worse yet, the next day, I saw Mike again and he told me he had had sex with Francine about a week before I kissed her. This devastated me, but not for the reason you might think. I know she gets around and I make absolutely no judgments about that. I'm a pretty staunch feminist and I don't believe there's anything wrong with a lady who likes to get laid. I'm pretty sure I don't have some creepy childish crush on this girl either. The problem stems entirely from the fact that there's this whole side of life that I've only had a few shallow fleeting experiences with since I've been hating myself for so long. The idea that I had this little moment with this girl that would mean nothing to a normal person while all my peers are out loving and loving and marrying each other sent me into some kind of self-loathing spiral that's kept me in really rough shape mentally for weeks. Which brings me to my next problem: every few days lately, Francine has been texting me telling me to come over when she's drunk. Real obvious stuff like "no one wants to stay up and drink with me, come over" or "I'm so bored and my roommate is out of town." It's really loving tearing me up because I want to go so bad but the idea of going there and exposing my twisted body to a woman fills me with so much dread that when I get her texts I start shaking. It feels like it would take an explicit act of deceit for me to go there, like she's expecting a normal healthy man to come over and what she'd get would be this subhuman ghastly troll instead. I ponder over whether she would be disgusted by me (seems probable) and ask me to leave or whether she would (worse yet) have sex with me out of pity or something. The thought of her accepting me for what I am crosses my mind but it seems to me to just be an act of fantastical wishful thinking. I just remember kissing her and how good it felt and it really fucks with my head. As if knowing that I'll never escape the pain and shame of having this hosed up body wasn't enough, now I get to grapple with the prospect of having opportunities to connect with someone and being too spineless (ha ha) and damaged and ugly to do it. Sorry this is long and disjointed and rambling. I get into these modes lately where my stream of consciousness just gets going and punctuation and poo poo like that goes out the window. I've never been a turn-to-the-internet-for-help type guy but I've seen people get some pretty good advice on this forum so I said gently caress it and here I am. If you just wanna tell me to give it up and become a hermit I would totally buy that. I honestly don't know what I even expect to get out of this thread. This is very spur of the moment. It feels good to slam this poo poo out on my keyboard though, so somebody may as well read it. See ya later. edit oh yeah and I've been in therapy for a few months but it doesn't seem to do much good since my therapist just says stuff like "we need to figure out how to make you like yourself" and "it's hard for a sensitive man, you've been so sad for such a long time" which is nice I guess but isn't terribly constructive confused person fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2013 around 05:29 |
| # ? Feb 23, 2013 05:26 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 08:56 |
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Hey man, even Quasimodo got a girlfriend, I bet you can too one day.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:02 |
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You are way overthinking this. When she texts you to come over... just come over.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:07 |
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I checked out the picture-- it doesn't look bad at all? I was expecting something really freaky but instead got a pic of something I would barely even notice. It sounds to me like you are using your scoliosis as an excuse to hide from the world because this is the safe option. You can't be afraid to get out there and get hurt. The rewards are well worth the risks. confused person posted:edit oh yeah and I've been in therapy for a few months but it doesn't seem to do much good since my therapist just says stuff like "we need to figure out how to make you like yourself" and "it's hard for a sensitive man, you've been so sad for such a long time" which is nice I guess but isn't terribly constructive Well, this therapist sounds like a hack. After a few months they should have had a lot more to say than just that. Is it possible to get a new one? You definitely need one based on how you're writing.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:11 |
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Speaking as a medical student, I think it would be worth getting a second opinion from an orthopedic surgeon. I may have misread but I think you mentioned that you feel like your spine has been getting worse lately. If your spine has been moving it could mean the metal they reinforced it with has become dislodged or you grew and it put strain on it. Either way, I think having a second guy taking a look is a good idea. I know you feel awful but try to remember that you aren't tricking her. She's your friend and knows about your back. She doesn't care and wants you anyway. Try to take a step back and let her make the decision for you. There are plenty of people she could text and she's choosing you. That should show how much she cares. I don't mean this to be rude, but have you had sex before? If so, how did you feel then?
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:13 |
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Have you looked at seeing another doctor? Psychological issues aside, if your condition is getting worse do not be afraid to aggressively pursue treatment. If your first doctor is going to be a dick about it then try to see another one. Does Francine know you have scoliosis? I don't know if this will make you feel better or not, but plenty of people get it in their heads their bodies are horrible grotesqueries, even people without scoliosis, and then it turns out in the end their sexual partners don't actually give a crap because, hey, sex! I will bet you anything that at some point in her life, if not currently, Francine has had at least one body part that she's convinced is completely gross, abnormal, and will disgust anyone who sees her naked. If you've got a thing going on like that picture then I won't lie, it will put some people off. Like, it could inhibit your ability to pick up strange girls and have one-night stands. But if someone genuinely likes you it's not going to make them put their pants back on and run screaming from the room, especially if they already know you've got scoliosis. You have been rejecting yourself in your own head your entire life. As someone who spent most of their life loathing themselves and their body, let me tell you, nobody can possibly wound you as deep as you've wounded yourself. Maybe you're convinced if she rejects you it will confirm all of those horrible, bad thoughts about yourself. It won't. It only confirms that she rejected you. It says nothing about the rest of the world and the other thousands and thousands of women you'll meet in your life. So stop doing that to yourself. Stop adding all this psychological torment to your physical condition. Just go there, make out, give her a heads up about your back if you're that worried about it. But hanging around in your head beating yourself up isn't going to improve anything.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:14 |
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CongoJack posted:Hey man, even Quasimodo got a girlfriend, I bet you can too one day.  Mill Town posted:You are way overthinking this. When she texts you to come over... just come over. Claude Monet II posted:I checked out the picture-- it doesn't look bad at all? I was expecting something really freaky but instead got a pic of something I would barely even notice. It sounds to me like you are using your scoliosis as an excuse to hide from the world because this is the safe option. You can't be afraid to get out there and get hurt. The rewards are well worth the risks. You might be right about my therapist too. She's a really nice lady but I get the impression she isn't prepared to deal with what I got goin on here. I found her through google and I think she might mostly deal with kids. Thanks for replying to my killer thread.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:20 |
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You shouldn't close yourself off to the idea of finding love! I only have this post to go by, but you sound like a pretty chill, funny, and intelligent guy. Those are all great qualities. Having a hosed up back doesn't mean you don't have a lot to offer someone. I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but a friend of mine who is a very lovely and pretty girl, dated a guy for several years who had a severely deformed face. I'm not sure what was wrong with it, but like, half of it was sort of a big drooping bubble. They were pretty happy and broke up amicably. Once you hung out with him long enough, you sort of stopped really noticing or caring about it. I think that for a lot of people, it's the initial sight that is... I don't know... offputting? And then you just get used to it. You are not grotesque! I'm sure you have a hard enough time as it is without being mean to yourself. That picture you linked of the little girl... do you think she is grotesque? You probably wouldn't be cruel to her, so don't be cruel to yourself either. It's hard, but most people with depression have to learn ways to push negative thoughts out of their heads. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy might be helpful for you. Does your therapist do anything like that? Maybe you could try someone else if that one doesn't seem to be helping? Best wishes to you! lidnsya fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2013 around 06:30 |
| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:27 |
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Southern Vulcan posted:Speaking as a medical student, I think it would be worth getting a second opinion from an orthopedic surgeon. I may have misread but I think you mentioned that you feel like your spine has been getting worse lately. If your spine has been moving it could mean the metal they reinforced it with has become dislodged or you grew and it put strain on it. Either way, I think having a second guy taking a look is a good idea. I dunno if she knows what's going on with me. You might be right but who can say? It seems unlikely that she gives a poo poo about me one way or another but maybe that's just my warped head talking. But yeah I've been trying to tell myself that it isn't my place to determine whether or not I'm attractive or worthy of whatever, it's just a tough idea to get to stick. Nah it's not a rude question, I fooled around with a couple girls in college but it was all kinda silly drunk kid stuff. I had a lot of problems then too so I never really finished or made a habit of it. I been real mixed up for a long time. ATP5G1 posted:Have you looked at seeing another doctor? Psychological issues aside, if your condition is getting worse do not be afraid to aggressively pursue treatment. If your first doctor is going to be a dick about it then try to see another one. lidnsya posted:You shouldn't close yourself off to the idea of finding love! I only have this post to go by, but you sound like a pretty chill, funny, and intelligent guy. Those are all great qualities. Having a hosed up back doesn't mean you don't have a lot to offer someone. confused person fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2013 around 06:33 |
| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:28 |
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If she likes you, I bet seeing something about you that you obviously feel self conscious about and can't control will make her feel relieved that you aren't ignoring her because you don't like her, but because you're scared, and she has an opportunity to react in a positive way. Give her a chance man.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:31 |
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You really build the impression of, like, a much more deformed person than you are. Like I was picturing a combination of wolf face + old dark church (Quasimodo) + the hunchback + a hobble + you made a hissing noise for some reason. Calm down; you got a back that's gettin' funky is all. Go get laid. If anything she probably feels rejected right now.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:32 |
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I'm constantly hissing. I'm a hissing hobbyist. Anyway I gotta go to sleep now so I'm not gonna be replying here for a while and I'll probably feel dumb for having posted this thread in the first place tomorrow but I really thank you guys for the support.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:35 |
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For whatever it's worth, I've got a third degree burn near my face that is pretty visible for anyone I talk to. I've had successful relationships with girls and known many people. It's not quite the same but I hope that gives you some confidence for your back. Go hang out when people text you, just go.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:37 |
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Comedy option: Tattoo a normal back on yours. Or something in italics. Seriously, I get that disability poo poo can make you feel isolated. But, while you definitely do need a second opinion, I can also see why your doctor might think you have something psychological going on. You talk about yourself like an animal, or like Butters in the vampire episode of South Park. Don't do that.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:39 |
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OP, I dont know what it's like to have scoliosis, but I can sympathise with thinking you're hideous and no one could possibly want you. But it's obvious that this girl DOES want you. She's texting you to come over and she knows what you look like. She obviously likes you so why are you isolating yourself from her? Go hang out with her, don't just sit at home and mope.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 06:56 |
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I know a guy whose back is WAY more hosed up than yours (there's no hiding it, he's practically bent double) and he's got a hot wife and a few kids...so stop worrying so much you idiot.
Agnostic Prophet fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2013 around 07:08 |
| # ? Feb 23, 2013 07:06 |
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Hello fellow scoliosis haver. My back is not as twisted as yours but it is noticeable. I got clothes that mitigate it a bit but on the whole I just own it. All my friends and coworkers know I have it and nobody cares that sometimes I walk a little off or have some pain. If anything is putting people off it is your defensiveness and worry about people's reaction. Most people have issues; and most people even have medical issues. That ours is a little more noticeable does not really change anything. Not something you can change overnight but see if you can work on those thought patterns. A therapist might help but I also think you can make some progress on your own as well. Also find a better doctor.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 07:12 |
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bunnybean posted:Comedy option: Tattoo a normal back on yours. Or something in italics. get  tattooed on your backStop being afraid to fail, you dingus.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 07:20 |
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Find a good therapist. Lots of people with more dramatic physical variations than yours have happy relationships. I know a dude with severe spinal torsion from cerebral palsy (in addition to all his other issues, like hard-to-understand speech, being slightly under 5 feet tall, poor fine motor control) who has a lovely and hilariously funny wife. gently caress, apparently Stephen Hawking was playing around like crazy on his first wife with a bunch of women including his now second wife. Get help for your spine for you, not because you think chicks won't dig you.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 07:30 |
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Hey man, Seconding everyone else's sentiments. Most people aren't going to be as hard on you as you are on yourself. Here's an idea. If you like her and want things to go further, just talk to her about it. Say something like "hey, you might not realize it but..." and just let her know. I bet she doesn't run screaming for the hills. I doubt she would regardless, but talking about it first might make you feel better.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 07:42 |
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I work with people who have osteogenesis imperfecta. Their bones are so fragile that they sometimes break just by laughing or wincing. They look like this: I assure you that they do date and have families and children and whatnot. You can do it too!
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 07:52 |
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My friend, you have an obstacle. Scoliosis is no easy thing to overcome, but, reading your post, you seem like the kind of man who can do so. Ultimately, you know your condition will affect your chances. But chances are just that -- success no matter what the odds. Don't...don't be limited. If people reject you over this, so be it. But give them that chance to reject -- and at the same time, convince them it doesn't matter. Because it doesn't; you seem like a super cool dude. At the risk of sounding sexist, women appreciate beauty in a different way, they appreciate it in a strength of character. You have that in spades, my friend.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 11:02 |
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I know two guys with scoliosis, both a bit older than you, and while both are in happy long-term relationships with awesome (and sexy) women, one of them marrying this year, they also suffer from back pain that might only get worse over time, so I think you're worrying about the wrong thing. Your problem won't be that chicks care about your back being bent, but that your back is bent, which might give you problems with your body later in life.
Cingulate fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2013 around 12:01 |
| # ? Feb 23, 2013 11:55 |
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I haven't yet read your entire post, but initial thoughts from reading less than half of it: If a doctor of orthopedics looks at you, and your x-rays, and your CT scans, and says that your concerns about being deformed are in your head, you're probably not actually deformed. You're probably unreasonably self-conscious. Nobody, especially not a doctor, is going to look at a twisted up Quasimodo and say "Eh, looks like a normal guy to me. Nothin' to fix here!". Alright, that said, now to read the rest of your post, and the comments below. Edit: Alright, yeah, your scoliosis is definitely secondary to depression. Your self image has very little to do with your (physical) condition, it just gives you an excuse. No matter how good looking you are, if you're depressed you feel hideous. Believe me, I can relate. At the risk of sounding vain, I'm much better looking than I feel. And I'm certain you are too. And Francine thinks you are also. As somebody else posted, she's probably starting to feel self-conscious at this point. If somebody makes a move over and over again, they're not trying to give out a pity-gently caress, they're trying to get one. All this said, if you're in constant physical pain, or unable to perform certain tasks, maybe you do have some problems that need taken care of, but I didn't get that from your posts. All I read was "Even though a person who spent half my life studying skeletons says it's fine, I feel like my skeleton is gross. Even though this girl wants to gently caress me real bad, I don't think anybody can ever find me attractive." I'm the last person to give you advice about it, as I'm not the most secure and emotionally well off person myself, but I can say, unless you are drastically underplaying the severity of your condition, your real problem is emotional, so work on that. Also, next time Francine gets drunk and asks you to come over, go. Pringleton fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2013 around 13:08 |
| # ? Feb 23, 2013 12:25 |
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Post a picture. A lot of the time 90% of your appearance worries are in your head, and I think most people get that vibe from your post, especially if only one person has ever commented on it. Without seeing you its a bit difficult to know whether to advise you to see an orthopod or a shrink. How often are sexual partners looking at your back anyway? Go round to your friend's, if things are about to get naked you can warn her your back is a little messed up if you like. If it turns her off, you talk for a bit and go home still friends. If (much more likely) it doesn't bother her then you have sex and maybe get a girlfriend. What do you have to lose? The situation at the moment is just causing you unnecessary anxiety and her to feel rejected.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 13:08 |
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FWIW, if your back looks like the sample image you gave, I would not sleep with you. You should try to find other people who do not care so much. Many women have deformities as well and would likely be more able to look beyond yours.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 13:24 |
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I got hurt in a series of accidents and messed up my back. I was really asymmetrical (not on your level, but went form normal to being kind of twisted up) and it resulted in very bad pain. I am finally now almost back to straight after doing a lot of physical therapy. The asymmetry is largely invisible now. However, I still have some muscle spasm. Do you experience muscle pain? I am amazed how the slightest asymmetry in my case resulted in incredible amounts of muscle spasm.
amp281 fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2013 around 13:52 |
| # ? Feb 23, 2013 13:50 |
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Here's an open secret for you to ponder: we all look like freaks in our own heads. We all have things about our bodies that we dislike and wish we could change. Fat. Too much/little hair. Hair in the wrong places. A dumb-rear end little nose (sup, this one is me!) PEEEEENIIIIIS, of course. AUGH MY TITTIES for the same amount of points in the other gender's direction. If you can get a second opinion and your back surgically fixed, then go ahead and get it done if you'd like. But in most peoples' lives, the answer lies in owning the things you see as negative about your body rather than trying to change it. Think about it. At this point you aren't getting laid not because your back is hosed up. You already met someone who cares little enough to gently caress you anyway. You're not getting laid because your body dysmorphia has made you so chicken that the idea of taking her offer fills you with dread. It's not your back that needs work. It is your self-esteem. You're never going to be able to figure out how other people could possibly be interested you if you don't have any self-respect. And honestly, why should a weird back effect that self respect? Does it make you a bad person? Does it make you do mean things to others? No. Some people won't be able to recognize all the cool things about you because of the back thing, but they are the ones who are wrong. Being deformed or disabled doesn't mean you can't make it in life in any way you wish. Look at Oscar Pisctorias! He managed to get to the very top of a sport WITHOUT LEGS, got a super hot girlfriend and then murdered her rear end! The sky is the limit!
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 14:07 |
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Think about this: maybe 90% (and this is probably a big overestimate) of women would be turned off by your weird-looking back. But 90% of men wouldn't sleep with a gay guy, and gay guys aren't permanently unloveable! Crippling depression is a lot more likely to prevent you from having relationships than a wonky back, so you should get that checked out.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 14:17 |
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Nth-ing that the problem isn't so much your looks as your own feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy. It's easy to know intellectually that loads of people with bodies society might deem imperfect have perfectly good lives, fulfilling relationships and so on, but accepting that emotionally, and accepting that it can also apply to you, is a different matter. Getting a new therapist seems like a good first step, this current one obviously isn't doing you much good.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 15:28 |
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For the record, girls that get drunk and text you for sex frequently might be an unwise choice for a serious relationship. But you really need to get laid, and she is obviously into you. You were worried about her accepting you for who you are, but she already has, kind of. Sure, she hasn't seen you naked yet, but she did make out with you and she is texting you asking you to come over. She wants to see you. What's the worst thing that can happen to you from seeing her?
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 15:43 |
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I dated a girl with scoliosis. She was bot as hell and had a tight but fat rear end. Still one of my top 5 hottest fucks probably..hth
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 15:52 |
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You aren't going to find a lady to overlook your back issues if you have a lovely personality. Even someone who doesn't care about your back is going to start caring if it makes you depressed and mopey all the time. Francine obviously wants to hang out with you. Just go with it. If she takes a look at your back and runs, then she's not someone you want to spend time with. There was also a girl with scoliosis at my college and she always seemed to have dates.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 15:57 |
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Castle Bidimar posted:FWIW, if your back looks like the sample image you gave, I would not sleep with you. You should try to find other people who do not care so much. Many women have deformities as well and would likely be more able to look beyond yours.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 16:04 |
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You should prroooobably tell her about your scoliosis before you decide to take her up on he offer. If it's a large part of your body that you manage to conceal very well, it'd be best to casually show her and avoid the in-the-moment shock that would probably be off putting to the both of you.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 17:48 |
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I'm a fairly normal looking guy, maybe even somewhat attractive, but you've got me beat by a few hundred miles. I say you've got a lot going for you! Hey, you could always think up a couple of clever jokes about it to help break the ice with some people! People really admire it when someone with a condition doesn't let it bring them down.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 18:01 |
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I've got a friend with a pretty serious bone condition. He's wheelchair-bound, his legs are child-sized and he has obvious skeletal issues- I know it's not a contest, but I promise, his skeletal problems are way worse than yours. I don't know what his condition is called because it never really comes up in conversation; he's always got something more fun to talk about. He's relentlessly positive and hilarious, super social, and he spends most of his time playing with his band. He has a girlfriend right now and has had more than a few since I met him. I'm sure that he's spent a lot of time dealing with body issues; his confidence tells me that. Everyone in the world has something they would change about their body if they could. Remember, your issues are yours and no one else's- we are our own worst critics, right? How many goons do you see in this forum, wishing their god drat crush was calling them up nightly?
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 18:30 |
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Have you tried lifting shitloads of weight? http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/va...739/3/index.htm quote:It's standard medical practice to keep scoliotics under careful observation if the curvature is 20 degrees or less, to apply a brace if the scoliosis is in the 20-to 40-degree range and to operate if the curvature exceeds 40 degrees. Gant's curvature is between 74 and 80 degrees.  Seriously though, I'd bet you look nowhere near as messed up as you think you look, maybe still give Francine the heads up, but for pete's sake, don't tell her by making GBS threads on yourself as hard as you did here  It sounds like she likes you, and it's not your dick, hands, or mouth that have problems, so it's probably nowhere near as big a deal as you think. And if she can't deal with it, that's her problem, and it doesnt' mean you're unlovable or gross or anything, it just means it's not something she can deal with. No bearing on whether other women will care or not.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 18:58 |
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Even if you've got a pretty significant deformity, what people tend to pick up more than the thing itself is your insecurity and anxiety about it. I had incredibly severe facial acne (10+ large pimples/whiteheads at any given time plus giant painful red cysts that left scars) and was in the exact same situation as you psychologically, almost dropped out of college because on the worst days I didn't want anyone to see me. I was definitely bothered by it ten times more than everyone around me, to the point that most people I knew (including girls) had gotten used to it and barely even noticed. I realized what was keeping girls away from me was my self-centeredness, moping, and low self-esteem: my pizza face could be overcome, but not my alienating personality! Also, this may sound sexist, but you're lucky that you're a guy because women are noticeably less shallow than men about physical stuff. A girl can still be 100% into you if you're confident, know what you're doing with your life, and have a likable persona.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 18:58 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 08:56 |
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If you're so embarrassed about your husk, just wear a tshirt like a fat dude in a pool.
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| # ? Feb 23, 2013 18:58 |
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