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There are two things in this world that everyone loves: NBA basketball and Kim Jong Il. That's why we were all thrilled to discover just how much Dear Leader loved the NBA! In case you missed it in the N/V thread, here's a link to the story: http://legacy.signonsandiego.com/ne...99-1n29kim.html The key provision, from my reading, was as follows quote:Chinese media have reported that the country even developed its own scoring system, with three points for a dunk, four points for a three-pointer that does not touch the rim and eight points for a basket scored in the final three seconds. Miss a free throw, and it's minus one. The immediate reaction everyone (should) have when reading this passage is: Awesome! North Korea, you have a wonderful scoring system! Why can't the NBA do that? You're in luck! I've decided to recalculate the scores from the current NBA season using Dear Leader's scoring system. To clarify any unsure scoring points, I'm counting ALL three-pointers as four points (because it's easier), and interpreting a basket in the final three seconds as the final seconds of the 4th quarter or overtime only. I also gave point bonuses for dunks and 3s for last second shots, as I'm sure our Dear Leader would have wanted, so a 2 is worth 8, a dunk is worth 9, and a 3 is worth 10. I'm pulling the play by play from nba.com, so any inconsistencies are its fault, not mine. I'm starting with opening night, and assuming people care, I'll post updates with new standings. I'm hoping to be up to date by the playoffs, but this takes time, and if nobody cares, I'm not going to either. Key points! Kim Jong Il's favorite team is the Bulls, because of Michael Jordan. He points his nuclear missiles at the last team to have defeated the Bulls. But, we all know Dear Leader can be a bit... fickle. He also likes the Wizards (Jordan played for them!), the Bobcats (Jordan owns them!), and the Rockets (they explode things, plus Chandler Parsons is HOT!). Those teams may receive Kim preferences as time goes on. 10/30/2012 Scores! (actual score) WAS 88 (84) - CLE 101 (94) BOS 111 (107) - MIA 129 (120) DAL 103 (99) - LAL 86 (91) Game of the day: No game of the day. The strong, proud people of the DPRK are disappointed in the effort of the losing teams. If this trend continues, re-education will commence. Player of the day (good or bad): Dwight Howard went 3-14 from the line, resulting in 11 lost points for the Lakers. He scored 19, reducing his total contribution to 8! Congrats Dwight, here's your inspirational message from Dear Leader! quote:A man who dreads trials and difficulties cannot become an average free throw shooter. If he is to become a player with an indomitable fighting spirit, he must be tempered in the arduous struggle from his youth. As the saying goes, early training means more than late earning. Standings! pre:EAST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Atlantic Brooklyn 0-0 - - New York 0-0 - - Philadelphia 0-0 - - Toronto 0-0 - - Boston 0-1 0.5 - Central Cleveland 1-0 - - Chicago 0-0 0.5 - Detroit 0-0 0.5 - Indiana 0-0 0.5 - Milwaukee 0-0 0.5 - Southeast Miami 1-0 - - Atlanta 0-0 0.5 - Charlotte 0-0 0.5 - Orlando 0-0 0.5 - Washington 0-1 1 - PLAYOFFS GB Cleveland - Miami - Atlanta 0.5 Brooklyn 0.5 Charlotte 0.5 Chicago 0.5 Detroit 0.5 Indiana 0.5 Milwaukee 0.5 New York 0.5 Orlando 0.5 Philadelphia 0.5 Toronto 0.5 Boston 1 Washington 1 WEST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Southwest Dallas 1-0 - - Houston 0-0 0.5 - Memphis 0-0 0.5 - New Orleans 0-0 0.5 - San Antonio 0-0 0.5 - Northwest Denver 0-0 - - Minnesota 0-0 - - Oklahoma City 0-0 - - Portland 0-0 - - Utah 0-0 - - Pacific Golden State 0-0 - - LA Clippers 0-0 - - Phoenix 0-0 - - Sacramento 0-0 - - LA Lakers 0-1 0.5 - PLAYOFFS GB Dallas - Denver 0.5 Golden State 0.5 Houston 0.5 LA Clippers 0.5 Memphis 0.5 Minnesota 0.5 New Orleans 0.5 Oklahoma City 0.5 Phoenix 0.5 Portland 0.5 Sacramento 0.5 San Antonio 0.5 Utah 0.5 LA Lakers 1  Philadelphia DLBA Superlatives: Most helped - N/A Most hurt - N/A Dear Leader's current mood: Happy! Basketball season is here again! 
Lord of Boners fucked around with this message at Mar 4, 2013 around 01:35 |
| # ? Mar 4, 2013 01:32 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 12:57 |
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Okay, well, you've got four months of games to keep calculating. Hop to it! Also, you know Kim Jong Il is dead, right? He died during the lockout of 2011.
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 01:38 |
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escape artist posted:Okay, well, you've got four months of games to keep calculating. Hop to it! He lives on forever in our hearts.
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 01:41 |
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This is a fantastic idea and I wish you luck. 
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 01:50 |
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Yeah, if you actually go through and do it all, it'll be awesome.
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 01:56 |
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I hope some of the games actually have reversed outcomes. 
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 02:28 |
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This is an awesome idea/thread.
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 02:42 |
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10/31/2012 Scores! (actual score) IND 98 (90) - TOR 93 (88) DEN 81 (75) - PHI 87 (84) HOU 116 (105) - DET 99 (96) SAC 94 (87) - CHI 89 (93)  SAS 101 (99) - NOH 105 (95) DAL 98 (94) - UTA 111 (113) GSW 89 (87) - PHX 85 (85) MEM 91 (92) - LAC 106 (101) LAL 112 (106) - POR 125 (116) Game of the day Thanks to 9 missed FTs by the Spurs and 8 sick rear end dunks, including 6 by Al-Farouq Aminu, the Hornets flipped the outcome from the American scum scoring system. Player of the day Aminu. Here's your inspirational message! quote:I am the object of criticism around the world. But I think that since I am being discussed, then I am on the right track. Standings pre:EAST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Atlantic Philadelphia 1-0 - - Brooklyn 0-0 0.5 - New York 0-0 0.5 - Toronto 0-1 1 - Boston 0-1 1 - Central Cleveland 1-0 - - Indiana 1-0 - - Milwaukee 0-0 0.5 - Chicago 0-1 1 -1 Detroit 0-1 1 - Southeast Miami 1-0 - - Atlanta 0-0 0.5 - Charlotte 0-0 0.5 - Orlando 0-0 0.5 - Washington 0-1 1 - PLAYOFFS GB Cleveland - Indiana - Miami - Philadelphia - Atlanta 0.5 Brooklyn 0.5 Charlotte 0.5 Milwaukee 0.5 New York 0.5 Orlando 0.5 Boston 1 Chicago 1 Detroit 1 Toronto 1 Washington 1 WEST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Southwest Houston 1-0 - - New Orleans 1-0 - +1 Dallas 1-1 0.5 - Memphis 0-1 1 - San Antonio 0-1 1 -1 Northwest Portland 1-0 - - Utah 1-0 - - Minnesota 0-0 0.5 - Oklahoma City 0-0 0.5 - Denver 0-1 1 - Pacific Golden State 1-0 - - LA Clippers 1-0 - - Sacramento 1-0 - +1 Phoenix 0-1 0.5 - LA Lakers 0-2 1 - PLAYOFFS GB Golden State - Houston - LA Clippers - New Orleans - Portland - Sacramento - Utah - Dallas 0.5 Minnesota 0.5 Oklahoma City 0.5 Denver 1 Memphis 1 Phoenix 1 San Antonio 1 LA Lakers 1.5 Sacramento DLBA Superlatives Most helped: Sacramento, New Orleans Most hurt: Chicago, San Antonio Dear Leader's mood: The Bulls lose the first game to be flipped. What has my scoring system done?!? 
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 05:18 |
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Where are you pulling your dunk numbers from? The NBA is poo poo at cataloging it. Half of put pack layups are called dunks
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 05:25 |
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This may be a bit too much, but it would be sweet if you posted player PPGs.
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 05:28 |
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Blake Griffin is leading the league with 152 3-pointers, but Javale McGee is close behind with 133
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 06:24 |
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Bashez posted:Where are you pulling your dunk numbers from? The NBA is poo poo at cataloging it. Half of put pack layups are called dunks Probably the game play-by-plays. Also, please keep this up. It is amazing.
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 10:52 |
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escape artist posted:Probably the game play-by-plays. Correct. It doesn't seem too bad for the number of dunks, I'm getting an average of 4-5 per game, a lot more layups and tip ins. I think the pbp's are more or less accurate.
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 13:07 |
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Lord of Boners posted:Correct. It doesn't seem too bad for the number of dunks, I'm getting an average of 4-5 per game, a lot more layups and tip ins. I think the pbp's are more or less accurate. They aren't. They're good enough for such a trivial pursuit as this though. I was just curious.
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 19:25 |
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Best thread going in SAS.
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| # ? Mar 4, 2013 19:35 |
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Bashez posted:They aren't. MORE OR LESS Im going to try to catch up by updating less but throwing more games in. Im not going to post every score, just some that I found interesting. This update takes us through November 8. Scores! 11/03 LAC 112 (110) GSW 111(114) 10 4 pointers get the Clips the win. SAC 100 (98) IND 95 (106) Original game went to two overtimes, but using Dear Leader scoring, the Kings win in regulation. 11/05 LAC 115 (101) CLE 115 (108) Clippers get the win! I had to consider what Dear Leader would have wanted in the event of a tie and of course, its a dunk tie breaker. Clips blow out the Cavs, 7-1. GSW 100 (92) SAC 95 (94) 11/06 CHI 99 (99) ORL 98 (93) The Magic only needed 3 dunks to win the game, but finished with a total of 1. 11/07 TOR 110 (104) DAL 110 (109) Tied on dunks as well, I had to add in total Dear Leader points. The Raptors take it, 6-1. DET 114 (103) SAC 109 (105) Down 5, Detroit hits a 10 pointer with 1.7 seconds left for the win. WAS 98 (94) - BOS 89 (100) Another game that would have been overtime without our Dear Leader's influence. Standings! pre:EAST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Atlantic New York 3-0 - - Brooklyn 1-1 2 - Philadelphia 2-2 2 - Toronto 2-3 2.5 +1 Boston 1-3 3 -1 Central Milwaukee 2-1 - - Detroit 2-3 1 +1 Chicago 2-3 1 -1 Cleveland 1-4 2 -1 Indiana 1-4 2 -1 Southeast Miami 4-1 - - Atlanta 2-1 1 - Orlando 2-2 1.5 - Charlotte 1-2 2 - Washington 1-2 2 +1 PLAYOFFS GB New York - Miami - Atlanta 1 Milwaukee 1 Brooklyn 1.5 Orlando 1.5 Philadelphia 1.5 Charlotte 2 Chicago 2 Detroit 2 Toronto 2 Washington 2 Boston 2.5 Cleveland 3 Indiana 3 WEST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Southwest Memphis 3-1 - -1 New Orleans 3-1 - +1 Dallas 3-2 0.5 -1 San Antonio 3-2 0.5 - Houston 2-2 1 - Northwest Oklahoma City 3-2 - - Minnesota 2-1 1 - Denver 2-3 2 - Portland 2-3 2 - Utah 2-3 2 - Pacific LA Clippers 6-0 - +2 Golden State 3-2 2.5 - (+1, -1) Phoenix 2-3 3.5 - Sacramento 2-3 3.5 - (+2, -2) LA Lakers 1-4 4.5 - PLAYOFFS GB LA Clippers - Memphis 2 New Orleans 2 Dallas 2.5 Golden State 2.5 Oklahoma City 2.5 San Antonio 2.5 Minnesota 2.5 Houston 3 Denver 3.5 Phoenix 3.5 Portland 3.5 Sacramento 3.5 Utah 3.5 LA Lakers 4.5 Oklahoma City DLBA Superlatives: Most helped Sacramento, LA Clippers (both +2 wins) Most hurt Sacramento (-2 wins) Sacramento likes being volatile.
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| # ? Mar 5, 2013 19:05 |
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My God this might be the greatest idea I've ever seen.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 00:25 |
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Crazy Ted posted:My God this might be the greatest idea I've ever seen. He says what we're all thinking.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 00:29 |
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Definitely bookmarking this. Most hilarious thread I've seen in ages. How did you break the tie in the game that was tied on both points and dunks?
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 02:11 |
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Trading away Javale with this scoring system was a mistake
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 02:16 |
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This is seriously fantastic and one of the best things I have seen in a long time. Clippers/Denver/Miami are surely favourites with all their 3 point dunks
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 03:14 |
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This is a brilliant thread.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 04:29 |
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Rick posted:This is a brilliant thread. Please don't stop, Mr. Boners.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 07:42 |
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To be fair, you shouldn't really break the tie since the game in North Korea stayed a tie.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 08:42 |
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jyrka posted:To be fair, you shouldn't really break the tie since the game in North Korea stayed a tie. Dear leader is understanding of our inferior game and no ties.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 12:44 |
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Crazy Ted posted:My God this might be the greatest idea I've ever seen. I haven't been this interested in professional basketball since the 90's.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 13:57 |
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Libertine posted:Definitely bookmarking this. Most hilarious thread I've seen in ages. I took the total of Dear Leader bonus points. For this game the totals were: Raptors: 5 dunks, 5 3's, 4 missed FT's, 0 last 3 seconds. 6 extra points. Mavs: 5 dunks, 8 3's, 12 missed FT's, 0 last 3 seconds. 1 extra point.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 13:59 |
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If someone gets fouled going for 10, is that 10 FTS?
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 19:30 |
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11/9 - 11/15 Scores! 11/09 MIN 101 (96) - IND 100 (94) Chase Budinger hit an 8 pointer with 0.1 seconds left for the 1 point win. 11/10 TOR 95 (83) - PHI 95 (93) 10 point difference from real life thanks to 12 4 pointers by the Raptors. They win in a dunk-off, 5-2. WAS 95 (85) - IND 90 (89) The Pacers don't like North Korean scoring. DAL 96 (97) - CHA 92 (101); GSW 92 (101) - DEN 83 (107) Both games won in regulation instead of going into overtime. POR 118 (109) - SAS 116 (112) 11/11 MEM 120 (104) - MIA 81 (86) 18 point win turns into a 39 point win thanks to 10+ point gains from 4 pointers and free throws. 11/12 DET 95 (90) - OKC 89 (92) Rodney Stuckey hits an 8 pointer with 0.2 seconds left. 11/14 WAS 114 (101) - DAL 106 (107) Washington likes North Korean scoring. PHX 108 (106) - CHI 103 (112) Suns win in regulation thanks to a 5-0 missed free throw disparity. Standings! pre:EAST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Atlantic New York 6-0 - - Brooklyn 5-1 1 - Toronto 4-4 2.5 +2 Boston 4-5 3 -1 Philadelphia 3-5 3.5 -1 Central Milwaukee 5-2 - - Detroit 4-5 2 +2 Chicago 3-5 2.5 -2 Cleveland 2-6 3.5 - (+1, -1) Indiana 1-8 6 -2 Southeast Miami 7-3 - - Atlanta 3-4 2.5 - Charlotte 3-4 2.5 -1 Washington 3-4 2.5 +3 Orlando 2-5 3.5 - PLAYOFFS GB New York - Miami 1 Brooklyn 1 Milwaukee 1.5 Toronto 2.5 Atlanta 3 Boston 3 Charlotte 3 Detroit 3 Washington 3 Chicago 3.5 Philadelphia 3.5 Orlando 4 Cleveland 4.5 Indiana 7 WEST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Southwest Memphis 6-1 - -1 New Orleans 4-2 1.5 +1 San Antonio 5-4 2 -1 Houston 4-4 2.5 - Dallas 4-5 3 -1 (+1, -2) Northwest Oklahoma City 5-4 - -1 Minnesota 4-3 1 - Portland 4-4 1.5 +1 Utah 4-5 2 - Denver 3-6 3 -1 Pacific LA Clippers 8-0 - +2 Golden State 5-3 3 +1 (+2, -1) Phoenix 4-5 4.5 - (+1, -1) LA Lakers 3-5 5 - Sacramento 2-6 6 - (+2, -2) PLAYOFFS GB LA Clippers - Memphis 1.5 New Orleans 3 Golden State 3 Oklahoma City 3.5 San Antonio 3.5 Minnesota 3.5 Houston 4 Portland 4 Dallas 4.5 Phoenix 4.5 Utah 4.5 LA Lakers 5 Denver 5.5 Sacramento 6 Phoenix DLBA Superlatives: Most helped Washington (+3) Most hurt Chicago, Indiana (-2)
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 22:06 |
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Dallas is hosed with the new rules  . Dear Leader do you have any more of Michael Jordans special juice? Vince Carter really needs some to return to 2001 form.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 22:18 |
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Lord of Boners posted:11/9 - 11/15 Washington's poised to make the playoffs with the new rules!
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 22:45 |
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I have to imagine the Knicks are going to go undefeated for the first quarter of this dear season. They made so many loving threes early in the year.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 23:21 |
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nachos posted:I have to imagine the Knicks are going to go undefeated for the first quarter of this dear season. They made so many loving threes early in the year.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 23:26 |
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11/16 - 11/21 Scores! 11/16 HOU 121 (117) - POR 117 (119) Rockets win in regulation, avoid losing in overtime. 11/17 WAS 81 (76) - UTA 80 (83) Washington is CLEANING UP under this scoring system. 11/19 DEN 97 (97) - MEM 97 (92) Nuggets win in a dunk off, 3-2 11/20 BKN 96 (90) - LAL 87 (95) The Lakers missed 18 free throws to get beaten soundly. 11/21 NYK 125 (111) - DAL 125 (114) Knicks hit 15 4's, Mavs hit 13. Tie breaker by dunk off, 3-2 Knicks. Standings! pre:EAST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Atlantic New York 9-1 - +1 Brooklyn 7-2 1.5 +1 Philadelphia 6-6 4 -1 Toronto 6-6 4 +3 Boston 5-7 5 -1 Central Milwaukee 7-3 - +1 Detroit 5-7 3 +2 Indiana 4-9 4.5 -2 Chicago 3-8 4.5 -2 Cleveland 3-8 4.5 - (+1, -1) Southeast Miami 8-4 - -1 Atlanta 6-4 1 - Charlotte 4-6 3 -2 Washington 4-6 3 +4 Orlando 4-7 3.5 - PLAYOFFS GB New York - Brooklyn 1.5 Milwaukee 2 Miami 2 Atlanta 3 Philadelphia 4 Toronto 4 Boston 5 Charlotte 5 Detroit 5 Washington 5 Orlando 5.5 Chicago 6.5 Cleveland 6.5 Indiana 6.5 WEST RECORD GB DIFF FROM REAL Southwest Memphis 8-2 - -1 San Antonio 7-5 2 -1 Houston 6-6 3 +1 Dallas 6-7 3.5 -1 (+2, -3) New Orleans 4-6 4 +1 Northwest Oklahoma City 8-4 - -1 Minnesota 4-5 2.5 - Portland 5-6 2.5 -(+1, -1) Denver 5-7 3 -1 Utah 5-7 3 -1 Pacific LA Clippers 10-1 - +2 Golden State 7-5 3.5 - (+2, -2) LA Lakers 5-7 5.5 -1 Phoenix 5-7 5.5 - (+1, -1) Sacramento 3-8 7 - (+2, -2) PLAYOFFS GB LA Clippers - Memphis 1.5 Oklahoma City 2.5 Golden State 3.5 San Antonio 3.5 Houston 4.5 Dallas 5 Minnesota 5 Portland 5 Denver 5.5 LA Lakers 5.5 New Orleans 5.5 Phoenix 5.5 Utah 5.5 Sacramento 7 Houston DLBA Superlatives: Most helped Washington (+4), Toronto (+3) Most hurt Dallas (-3)
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| # ? Mar 7, 2013 20:50 |
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How are you determining which threes are four pointers?
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| # ? Mar 8, 2013 00:44 |
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DeimosRising posted:How are you determining which threes are four pointers? Lord of Boners posted:To clarify any unsure scoring points, I'm counting ALL three-pointers as four points (because it's easier) Also surprised at the Washington stats - they don't seem to be a team that shoots a lot of 'regulation' 3 point shots nor dunk a lot, using the eyeball test they may be a pretty good FT shooting team though.
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| # ? Mar 8, 2013 00:52 |
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It's sort of sad that none of these scoring rules would work because they just incentivize the poo poo out of fouling 
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| # ? Mar 8, 2013 01:26 |
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In a way it would also help stop it, Howard wouldn't be on the court with these rules down the stretch
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| # ? Mar 8, 2013 01:35 |
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I think it could work but you'd have to have a shorter active roster for games to balance it out.
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| # ? Mar 8, 2013 03:17 |
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| # ? May 23, 2013 12:57 |
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The Mavs lose 2 tie games on Dear Leader points
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| # ? Mar 8, 2013 05:04 |
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