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Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler
Wow, this was easily Chow's worst film, and so little effort was put into it, that he didn't even bother starring in it.

Plot: Loosely follows Chinese legends, but seems to take as long as the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy. There is a lot of filler and character introduction, but they never seem to do anything with them. Here is a character, they can do this, you will see them for another 2 minutes. The pacing is slow throughout the entire film, and even the action scenes feel like a chore to watch.

Effects: There is a lot of pointless CGI filler that looks horrible for 1999, and really much worse than Shaolin Soccer which came out 12 years prior. None of the CGI monsters have any sort of weight, and instances where "physics are happening" show glaring errors with characters falling in places they obviously wouldn't given how they were thrown, etc. Most of this was just sperg stuff, but still sloppy.

Humour: Either this was Chow's worst attempt at it, or this wasn't a comedy. The only chuckle I got the entire film was the song to calm the first demon.

Cast: Like I said before, you don't really get to know much of the cast as they are introduced, and then you don't see them until near the end, for about 2 minutes each. It seemed that they could have dropped a lot of the demon hunters altogether and tried to focus more on the two main characters. I'm not too familiar with Zhang, but Shu Qi was totally wasted in this movie. She reminded me a lot of Ann Hathaway hosting the oscars with Franco. She was trying to bring a lot of energy to the debacle, but nobody else seemed interested in trying.

Acting: Given the material they had to work with, I would not really blame any of the actors for not giving their all. Compare this with Kung Fu Hustle, and you'll see what I mean.

Directing: Did Chow take tips from George Lucas? I'm picturing him directing from behind a TV, giving his actors and crew vague instructions and little input. He relied way too heavily on CGI, which is really bad given how "afternoon mini-series" this looked. Honestly, it was some of the WORST CGI I have seen outside of rip-off movies from South America.

Overall: Chow obviously decided to coast on his name and collect a fat cheque instead of trying to make a movie people would like. This was essentially Chinese "Jack and Jill".

2/5

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