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I posted awhile back that I have been hanging out with a girl but unsure as to how I feel about the whole thing. We've been hanging out for a few months now and rather regularly. We go out, have drinks, eat food, chill and watch movies, have sex, all of the regular relationship stuff. She finds me funny and I find her funny. I don't get annoyed with her ever, she's super chill, easy to please, intelligent, cute, and has a well adjusted head on her shoulders. So what's the problem? I don't loving know and I can't figure it out. She straight up texted me tonight and said she felt something "was wrong". We aren't official but have been exclusive with one another. She said she's into me but I don't know if I feel the same. She told me that she'd be cool just being friends but I feel bad agreeing to it since I feel like I've let her down and will hurt her. I mean, just me typing this shows that I care and have some feelings but I can't pinpoint it. Having the thought of being "just friends" kind of hurts, but I don't know for what reasons. If you want my background, I've been single for 4 years and was cheated on twice (second one was more of an emotional cheating than physically). It took me a solid half a year to get over my last girlfriend and was slightly cynical of women for awhile. I wanted to be single for awhile and find a way to be happy with myself again and now I am there and have been for quite some time. I've went on about a dozen dates in the past year and this is the closest I've been to feeling something with someone but I know it's not the feelings I had when I met my first two girlfriends. I thought maybe it's the possibility of being cheated on again but when I think about it, that doesn't seem to trigger anything and so I have ruled that out. I feel that I may be broken. I don't even know what I am asking for here but and input or advice would be appreciated.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 07:29 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 14:03 |
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For what it is worth, before I even got to the second paragraph it sounded like you were just afraid of the thing failing. It probably will fail eventually, as in, you won't have a life long relationship with this girl. It happens. Have fun with it.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 07:51 |
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Well, what do you want? Do you want to date her or not?
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 07:53 |
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Conquistador posted:For what it is worth, before I even got to the second paragraph it sounded like you were just afraid of the thing failing. It probably will fail eventually, as in, you won't have a life long relationship with this girl. It happens. Have fun with it. I'm pretty honest with myself and I am certain this isn't it. krakagar posted:Well, what do you want? Do you want to date her or not? This is exactly what's twisting my brain. I ask myself this question and I come up with a blank. I've been on the edge of wanting to and not wanting to for a few months now and still can't come to a conclusion.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 07:58 |
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If it's taking you months to develop something even resembling feelings, dump her.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 08:12 |
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xzoto1 posted:
Wow. It must be serious then. Honestly, if you don;t know if you want to date a girl or not, then the answer is probably 'Or not'. That'd probably save her a lot of your dicking around in the long run, at least. Just like if you have to ask an internet comedy forum for relationship advice, the advice should probably be 'Don't be in a relationship'.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 08:13 |
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xzoto1 posted:This is exactly what's twisting my brain. I ask myself this question and I come up with a blank. I've been on the edge of wanting to and not wanting to for a few months now and still can't come to a conclusion. You don't owe a relationship to anybody and worrying about hurting her is a classic mistake that will bite both you and her in the long run - she will invest herself a lot more and will be even more hurt whan you finally manage to say NO. Think about it - right now you could be dating somebody you're actually dying to date. Maybe that new person won't be as theoretically perfect as your current girlfriend - maybe not so smart, maybe not so funny, maybe not so pretty but you will be attracted to her 100 times more. Also don't force the friendship if you see that she's still feeling something for you - leave the girl alone. Some things in life are tough and not pleasant - like losing your best friend because you break up - but you still have to be a decent responsible adult and go through with them.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 08:55 |
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Palpek posted:It's pretty easy in relationships though - if the answer isn't a confident big YES then it's a NO. Stop obsessing about it and dump her. I broke it off with her. I told her that I can't guarantee anything between us and that she deserves more than what I can offer her right now. She said she's totally cool with it.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 09:15 |
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Cool, you've probably left the door open if you find yourself in a better spot in 6 months to rekindle. If not, you had some fun times and now can find someone to get more serious with.
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| # ? Mar 6, 2013 22:49 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 14:03 |
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How old are you guys? I only ask because to me it seems like you are both a little immature in the relationship area. I understand you have been cheated on though, and that takes its toll I know.
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| # ? Mar 7, 2013 00:18 |
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