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polka face
Sep 2, 2008


I'm a 27 year old woman, and also a bit of a sappily romantic dreamer. My last relationship ended more than two years ago, and I hadn't met anyone interesting for a long while. Late last year, I told a friend I wanted to go on some dates that coming summer. I didn't want to go down the online dating path again because I'd tried it before but hadn't clicked with anyone. We talked about how I could get some dates happening and somehow came up with the idea of putting posters around the city on light posts and whatnot, in the same vein as lost cat-type flyers, but about me.

I'm a kind of quirky person and at the time I was a bit bored, and wanted some adventure in my life. I hoped the posters would be a way to meet some like-minded, interesting guys. I also like to write - though I lack confidence - and I thought I could perhaps also write a little piece about the experience and pitch it to a mag, just for fun. So I made a poster and created an email address to put on it, so people could get in touch.

Here it is:



So after it was finished, I started putting it around the suburbs that I frequent. I put the first one up on November 26. At first I thought I'd just do 10, but then I realised I'd have to do more than that to increase my chances of a response. I decided to do 100 (as of today I've done about 95). And I started getting responses, which was wildly exciting. The vast majority of them have been positive. One guy emailed and said he wasn't what I was looking for, but he wanted to help me. With my blessing, he forwarded the photo to his entire email contact list. The media found out about it, and I've had a bit of media attention.

Here's a radio interview I did: https://soundcloud.com/marnie-clark...rview-with#play

And here's the TV interview I did, on a national Australian breakfast show: http://youtu.be/M45TUo9CZmI

Then I was on another radio station, and they had the idea to set me up with a caller of my choice, for a date. That was so bizarre - I don't even listen to the station - and it didn't end up happening, but it was a nice idea in theory. I haven't tried to get media attention, by the way; they have all come to me. I wanted the whole thing to happen organically.

And a few people have shared it on Facebook. There was also a thread about it on the Brisbane subreddit. The whole thing has been quite a ride. Despite a bit of criticism, I've actually had a great time with it. I haven't published any writing about it yet but I'm keeping notes, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to write a cabaret about the experience, which I hope to perform eventually.

So that's the basic story. Ask me anything!

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Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

Real men do cry.

How many "really weird" replies did you get? Did you ever feel like you were in danger? What did you do to protect yourself? How many were really autistic sperglords? Do you regret it? Do you enjoy the media attention?

Ohgodsomanyquestions

ashgromnies
Jun 19, 2004


How many dates have you gone on as a result?

JustAwful
Jan 1, 2013


Holy crap, that was not a good idea. I hope you thoroughly screen anyone who contacts you.

evensevenone
May 12, 2001
Glass is a solid.

JustAwful posted:

Holy crap, that was not a good idea. I hope you thoroughly screen anyone who contacts you.

Why? Is there a hidden reservoir of serial killers who don't know how to use craigslist and just wander the streets hoping for a sign on a telephone pole?

Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

Real men do cry.

evensevenone posted:

Why? Is there a hidden reservoir of serial killers who don't know how to use craigslist and just wander the streets hoping for a sign on a telephone pole?

I don't know, but I can see the problem I guess. I'm not as security conscious as most, (Seriously ask me for my name, address and Telephone number, I'll tell you RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW!) but I could see how meeting any random person who E-mails you for drinks could be a bad idea.

jabro
Mar 25, 2003


Kobra Kommandant


- Superbowl XXXV -
Ravens 35, Giants 7


Its the same as meeting someone online or out in public. Its not like she is inviting them straight to her house or going to theirs. I'm sure any dates she goes on they will be meeting in a public place.

JustAwful
Jan 1, 2013


evensevenone posted:

Why? Is there a hidden reservoir of serial killers who don't know how to use craigslist and just wander the streets hoping for a sign on a telephone pole?

Well, posting it on Craigslist would not exactly be a golden idea either, IMO. In most major cities, posting an ad like that anywhere can be pretty risky/dangerous. If she's aware and wants to do it anyway, all the power to her.

Fatal
Jul 29, 2004

I'm gunna kill you BITCH!!!


Turtlicious posted:

I don't know, but I can see the problem I guess. I'm not as security conscious as most, (Seriously ask me for my name, address and Telephone number, I'll tell you RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW!) but I could see how meeting any random person who E-mails you for drinks could be a bad idea.

Kinda like any other online dating site?

Better than being picked up in a bar I'd say

Calvin Johnson Jr.
Dec 8, 2009


Hey, tell Dee I said hello.

polka face
Sep 2, 2008


OK, I'll address the danger aspect first. I don't see it as a risk, really. I don't meet everyone who contacts me, just the ones I think there could be chemistry with. It's actually very similar to online dating, it's just a different way of establishing that initial contact. I do meet guys in public places, of course, but again, it's just like online.

I've never felt as if I was in danger but I felt alarmed and uneasy once. I was emailing a guy and we hit it off. But he said something quite cruel to me out of nowhere, and did some inexplicable and hurtful things, and it did worry me. But we never even actually met, and I've not heard from him for ages.

I've met about 10 guys this way. They have all been sincere, interesting and lovely. I dated one guy for about six weeks, and then we amicably went our separate ways. A couple of the guys have actually become my friends, which is so nice.

I have had almost no weirdos. There was one oddly persistent guy who was very keen to meet me, but I never got bad vibes from him, I just knew we wouldn't click. There was this though:

> Hi got your message from notice board
>
> I may be a little bit old for you as Iam 47
>
> But would pay anthing for your company
>>
> If your interested??
>
> Chow for now

(I did not take him up on his offer.)

And there was the email from the S&M dominator man, but he was just commending me on the idea, and he was also lovely.

Of course, because of the media attention, people know my name now but even that doesn't worry me. A few people have requested my friendship on Facebook, but I just don't add them. And writers have their names out there, so it's just something you deal with.

I really enjoyed the media attention, honestly. I've never had any measure of fame before so it was novel, and fun. But one radio announcer criticised my "hipster/librarian glasses" (whatever, they're Ray Bans and I like them). This was right before he interviewed me. I thought that was a bit rude. That same radio station asked if I'd had any weirdo respondents and, when I said I hadn't, they posited that I'd "outweirded the weirdos". Again, not exactly polite. Having said that, I think they were right. Freaks don't seem to bother with me. Which is, of course, good. The media attention was pretty full-on there for a while though. There was a story about me online, which attracted some negative comments, and I was on TV that morning, and I was doing radio. It all kind of happened at once and I felt a bit overwhelmed. I couldn't even sleep properly. Before that particular radio interview, I was driving to work and I knew the station was about to call me and I was so keyed-up that I bumped into the car in front of me at a traffic light. That was pretty awful. Then literally two minutes later, I had to go on the radio because they couldn't reschedule. It's calmed down a lot now though, which is good. And some of the radio station Facebook comments were quite hurtful. So basically, doing media is fun, but some people are jerks. But I try to ignore it. The positive responses outnumber the negatives by far.

I will never regret having done this. I have had so much fun, heaps of sweet and encouraging emails, and met some fantastic people. Plus I've inspired myself to create some art. Honestly, it's probably the coolest thing I've ever done.

I may have missed some qs but I'll be back. Hope I haven't been too rambly. And droey I surely will!

Eden
Jul 1, 2007
One hella classy dinosaur

Where did you put up the posters? I get the feeling West End is on that list...

DJ Sizzle
Jul 24, 2002

we go (jump through) hoop


I think this is great and I would have responded if I saw it, just to tell you how cool it was. I hope you find what you are looking for. We really do only go around one time, may as well have fun with life.

I also find it terribly romantic and I am a jaded old dude.

ZoneManagement
Sep 25, 2005
Forgive me father for I have sinned

Yeah, I would have responded as well. Right amount of quirky to at least drop a line to. Cool idea.

AnonymousNarcotics
Aug 6, 2012

we will go far into the sea
you will take me
onto your back
never look back
never look back


This is a cute idea, I hope it works out for you. Can you post a higher quality version of the flier or post the text in the middle? It's a bit blurry to try to read.

Calvin Johnson Jr.
Dec 8, 2009


Your friend showed me a better picture of you and I thought you were quite attractive. You seem like an interesting enough person, what do you think is stopping you from meeting good guys in normal scenarios?

polka face
Sep 2, 2008


Howdy kids,

Thank you for the kind words! It's always so nice to hear from people who dig what I'm trying to do. It's so true, we are here for a good time, not a long time. Sooooo risk-taking is sometimes a good thing.

I will post a better version of the image in an hour or two from my laptop.

Hmm, in terms of why I've had trouble meeting guys, that's a tricky one. I mean, I've had the odd one-night stand over the years, just guys I met out, but I wanted something more substantial than that. I wanted to feel that spark with someone. My friend made the point that, at our age, people are starting to settle down. The pool of available dudes is shrinking. It's just life. Plus people do say that there's a "man drought" in my city. I don't know if that's true, but myself and some of my (gorgeous, smart, single) female friends go out, have a pash with someone, perhaps, but nothing seems to eventuate? Plus at my age, I don't go out to nightspots as often as I used to. (Yes, I am becoming lame and old.) And maybe these days, people are wrapped up in their mobile phones rather than checking out the other peeps in the bar? I don't know, that's a flimsy theory but it might have something to do with it. Plus I don't - unfortunately - go to as many house parties as I used to, which is a bummer, because I met both of my exes at house parties. And sometimes you just have a dry spell! Mine just happens to have last for 2.5ish years.

And the thing is, I was not driven to do this out of desperation. I actively wanted to do it because I wanted to see what would happen. And I like the idea that I make people do a double-take, and smile. Of course, some people do a double-take, rip the poster down, crumple it up and throw it over someone's fence (that happened once. Meanies!) But pfft who cares. It's all part of the ride.

My phone battery's about to die, I'll be back tonight though. And yes Eden, West End featured prominently! I shall elaborate soon.

polka face
Sep 2, 2008


Et voila, as requested:

Eggplant Wizard
Jul 8, 2005


i loev catte


I think you belong in E/N.

the chief v2
Apr 15, 2010


Fyi i dont really like people who describe themselves as quirky

Cool Blue Reason
Jan 7, 2010


If there's one thing the world needs, it's a cabaret about a desperate, lonely goon.

big duck equals goose
Nov 7, 2006

by XyloJW


Edit: I hope you make it big, like balloon kid or whatever.

clammy
Nov 25, 2004




Are your pits really wet/smelly? I'm trying to figure out what you're doing with your arms in that photo.

312
Nov 7, 2012
I give terrible advice in E/N and post nothing worth anybody's time.

i might be a social cripple irl


clammy posted:

Are your pits really wet/smelly? I'm trying to figure out what you're doing with your arms in that photo.

First image result for shoulder shrug:

clammy
Nov 25, 2004




312 posted:

First image result for shoulder shrug:



Yeah but the OP's shoulders are down in that picture so she's not shrugging.

OMG JC a Bomb!
Jul 13, 2004

My posts are augmented.


LOST: THE BROMANCE IN MY LIFE

Last seen some time ago in a weedsmoke filled dorm room.
Will respond to pepperoni and cheese
Can be enticed with Halo 4/CoD Blops 2

UNTOLD REWARDS

Jung Jeezy
Dec 24, 2007

From: moonshine, re: your bread avatar

This is a great idea. I'd copy it but where I live there aren't any lamp posts to put the posters on. How long do you plan on doing this for?

polka face
Sep 2, 2008


Ok ok. I know, "quirk", blergh yuck. But this was my first ever actual post on SA and honestly I was terrified. And I didn't take that photo for the purpose, I already had it around. I was smoking in the picture! I had to remove the cigarette from my hand using the spray paint tool in MS Paint!

And my cabaret is going to be great. You'll see. You'll all see.

polka face
Sep 2, 2008


Jung Jeezy posted:

This is a great idea. I'd copy it but where I live there aren't any lamp posts to put the posters on. How long do you plan on doing this for?

If you're serious, please do it. For one, it's fun, and two, solidarity, yo. And I've only got five more to put up, which is ace, because I am nigh on sick to death of it. I may have even already revived my profile on okcupid.

SchrodingersFish
Mar 9, 2012


I think this is a really cute/hilarious idea, don't know why there are so many negative/unserious comments on here!

Screw anyone who says that if a woman has trouble dating that means something is wrong with them (not that anyone's said that outright here, but I'm sure some of the nasty comments elsewhere you talked about did). I know plenty of perfectly awesome, attractive, fun, smart ladies who go through dry spells (short and very long) at no fault of their own. Men and women are all people, and dating from one side of the gender divide is not that much different than dating from the other side.

Plus, a skewed man/woman ratio can really make things tough. I know, I went to a women's college! Even though there were co-ed colleges less than 10 miles away (and other universities in the city), it still made dating really tough. Props for having the courage to put yourself out there!

polka face
Sep 2, 2008



Thank you! Yeah in terms of negativity, this is nothing. On Facebook and in the comments thread of a local newspaper story about me I was torn. To. Shreds. But there were nice people there too. And my eloquent, awesome little sister got in the Facebook comments and defended me, which I appreciated.

People feel threatened when you do something outside the norm. It has been very strange to be on the receiving end of such vitriol from people who don't know me at all. And apparently a lot of the haters in the Facebook comments were women. (I've deliberately stayed away. I will look eventually though because I need to harvest the hate so I can respond through song.)

But really, I've had a lot of endearing, supportive emails and comments from encouraging people. So that kinda makes up for it.

big duck equals goose
Nov 7, 2006

by XyloJW


Yeah, being a skinny 27 year old female has to be tough in romance. gently caress that poo poo, let's get Ham Pants on a flyer and see how this goes.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

big duck equals goose posted:

Yeah, being a skinny 27 year old female has to be tough in romance. gently caress that poo poo, let's get Ham Pants on a flyer and see how this goes.



He looks like he could tell me everything I need to know to run a successful economy in Age of Empires.

BeefThief
Aug 8, 2007


My question is, why are you so desperate? Is there something really wrong with your personality that you need to resort to making yourself seem like a lost cat? Nine times out of ten those posters are for animals that are already roadkill.

polka face
Sep 2, 2008


But I'm not desperate. See above, I already said that. I wanted to see what would happen. So I did. I haven't met the love of my life this way but I don't care. I've had fun. And if nothing else, the poster is meant to be amusing. I just don't see why that is so bad.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005



I guess to make a ladysuit someone would have to collect a lot of fliers from different girls around town so that MO is out.

Bobbie Wickham
Apr 13, 2008

A redheaded hussy who ought to be smacked and sent to bed without her supper


polka face posted:

But I'm not desperate. See above, I already said that. I wanted to see what would happen. So I did. I haven't met the love of my life this way but I don't care. I've had fun. And if nothing else, the poster is meant to be amusing. I just don't see why that is so bad.

Nothing personal, but I can see why some people respond negatively to your posters. I find it a little forced, some manufactured "quirky charm" on the order of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. It's like part of a check list: graffiti knitting, dancing in the rain, "lost love life" posters, hula hooping, mix CD's of "obscure" bands, hipster glasses, artist of some sort, into burlesque/cabaret, little girlish clothing/accessories, makes her own jewelry, "Let's go find an adventure!" and so on. I'm sure you're a decent and interesting person on your own, but I've met so many women in their twenties who do this "Look at me be whimsical!" act; I can't help but wonder if that's part of your baggage. You may find this whole venture amusing, and that's good, but I find it silly and trite. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's been around Manic Pixie Dream Girls enough to write you off as an attention-seeking bore. (I'm sure you're actually not one, but that's the impression I get from your posts so far, and it's enough to put me off.)

Also, claiming you "can't believe" that you've gotten attention for doing it rings a little false: what did you expect would happen? It's a fairly unusual little stunt that you did for attention--the attention of potential boyfriends, but it's attention all the same. There's a huge difference between a personal ad/dating website profile, and light posts/bulletin boards in public space. If you jockey for attention in a public space, and you get said attention, then you really shouldn't be baffled by the attention you get. It's like the difference between getting your hair done at a salon, and getting a wash-and-cut on the sidewalk next to city hall: the act itself isn't weird (getting a haircut/putting out a personal ad), but the where (in public, where everyone has to see it) makes it worthy of comment. Either you're genuinely incapable of understanding that, or you're pretending to be incapable of understanding that; either way, that's as off-putting as the "quirky charm."

OMG JC a Bomb!
Jul 13, 2004

My posts are augmented.


polka face posted:

But I'm not desperate. See above, I already said that. I wanted to see what would happen. So I did. I haven't met the love of my life this way but I don't care. I've had fun. And if nothing else, the poster is meant to be amusing. I just don't see why that is so bad.

This whole thing seems like something somebody would do to get themselves an easy human interest story on the local news. But hey, it worked, so congratulations I guess.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number.

Bobbie Wickham posted:

Nothing personal, but I can see why some people respond negatively to your posters. I find it a little forced, some manufactured "quirky charm" on the order of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. It's like part of a check list: graffiti knitting, dancing in the rain, "lost love life" posters, hula hooping, mix CD's of "obscure" bands, hipster glasses, artist of some sort, into burlesque/cabaret, little girlish clothing/accessories, makes her own jewelry, "Let's go find an adventure!" and so on. I'm sure you're a decent and interesting person on your own, but I've met so many women in their twenties who do this "Look at me be whimsical!" act; I can't help but wonder if that's part of your baggage. You may find this whole venture amusing, and that's good, but I find it silly and trite. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's been around Manic Pixie Dream Girls enough to write you off as an attention-seeking bore. (I'm sure you're actually not one, but that's the impression I get from your posts so far, and it's enough to put me off.)

Also, claiming you "can't believe" that you've gotten attention for doing it rings a little false: what did you expect would happen? It's a fairly unusual little stunt that you did for attention--the attention of potential boyfriends, but it's attention all the same. There's a huge difference between a personal ad/dating website profile, and light posts/bulletin boards in public space. If you jockey for attention in a public space, and you get said attention, then you really shouldn't be baffled by the attention you get. It's like the difference between getting your hair done at a salon, and getting a wash-and-cut on the sidewalk next to city hall: the act itself isn't weird (getting a haircut/putting out a personal ad), but the where (in public, where everyone has to see it) makes it worthy of comment. Either you're genuinely incapable of understanding that, or you're pretending to be incapable of understanding that; either way, that's as off-putting as the "quirky charm."
Basically 1000x this, OP I don't think you're a bad person or anything but be honest with yourself, this was a stunt with the goal of getting attention. It was quite clever and I'm glad it got you a lot of good results but you're not deceiving anyone else so might as well not try to deceive yourself with your motives and expectations. Quirky people don't describe themselves as quirky or go out of their way to do quirky things they take pride in, it's something their friends describe them as naturally. Quirky people don't realize they're quirky, that's just who they are. This was a really cute approach to getting your name out there for dating and I think almost anyone would applaud your creativity but it's ridiculous to act surprised that people would call you out on trying too hard, because that's obviously what you're doing. I think if you were either more honest/upfront about your expectations or were simply so out there you didn't realize it was a "quirky" thing to do, you'd get a lot less flak for it, but that you obviously knew it was an unoriginal approach to the point you'd self identify as being quirky it just makes it come across as incredibly forced, fake, and contrived.

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Safe and Secure!
Jun 14, 2008

OFFICIAL SA THREAD RUINER
SPRING 2013


Jesus Christ people, have any of you ever found yourselves in situations where you might have said things that weren't entirely true, just because the situation was kind of silly? I think you're allowed to call yourself quirky when you do something quirky like put up flyers for dates, even if you do it "ironically" or knowing you're not really the quirky. Why do so many people seem to be offended by that?

If it's fun, who cares if it's kind of ridiculous? I'll call myself quirky and not be completely unserious about it and there's nothing you can do about it.

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