Search Amazon.com:
Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
  • Post
  • Reply
Favela Flav
Dec 24, 2009


...the kind of absolutely crazy stories that if they didn't happen to you, you wouldn't believe they really happened.

I've had all kinds of crazy bullshit happen to me over the years, but I'd like to kick things off with a relatively recent happening... I still struggle to believe it but I do have the scars and scratches to prove it really happened.

So: About a year ago I babysat a cat for a few weeks. He was a male cat and wasn't desexed, and was just coming up on sexual maturity.... Naturally he wanted to gently caress everything, and I do mean everything.

Anyway, ridiculous as it sounds, that's not the real story. The real ridiculous story is that every time I tried to take a number 2, the cat went mental... fully on needing to be physically restrained, trying to jump into the toilet mental. I had to put him outside on the balcony for a good hour after I did a number 2, because otherwise for reasons I still don't understand the smell drove him crazy.... and even more disturbingly made him horny.

Weird loving cat.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

reni89
May 3, 2012

by angerbeet


Oh..

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012



...Huh.

Lonely Virgil
Oct 9, 2012



Did you play red rocket with him?

skog
Aug 20, 2009

I'm comin' to your funeral!


I was talking to my homie Dancehall in South Bronx, heard this MC at a party last weekend, burned it down, naturally, but kid was selling CDs out of his trunk, and when Dancehall looked to see what his name was, he blacked out and had an intense memory of being hungry as a child in a cold schoolbus while wearing wool shirts??? He snapped out of it and the MC was standing above him, saying "yeah sorry dude, my name be that specific memory" I heard he sent his demo to Sony and everyone was just crying and sh*t when they tried to read the label. Secretary got a really bad rash and had to go to a hospital in Denver.

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I'm only a crimefighter doing his best, stumbling into the night.


I had an imaginary friend named Bob, and he had an imaginary girlfriend named Doris. One day Bob found us fooling around and he hit me. I yelled "You're not my friend anymore!" and he screamed and disappeared. Later Doris and I were arguing and I said "Remember what happened to Bob". So she shut up an got undressed. So now things are fine, only someone has been scratching the paint on my imaginary Miata. I seriously wonder if it's Bob. I don't know if that's possible.

bunnybean
Mar 31, 2010



BBB Complaint against one Favela Flav:
  • Client reports babysitter gave her "uneasy" feeling, last resort hire
  • Client reports home smells strongly of feces; found dog unattended in back yard, acting frenzied
  • Client reports dog now follows her to the bathroom and aggressively attempts "inappropriate sexual activities" with her since Alleged left
  • Requesting urgent review in compliance with S4A37I2; paraphrased, "no butt stuff"

Mr. Haunt
Jun 5, 2003

Before everything, there was just the hate.


One time I was like "WHUUUUUT" and they were like "Sshheeeeeiiiiiiit." loving crazy.

cat doter
Jul 27, 2006

it's true, we do

skog posted:

I was talking to my homie Dancehall in South Bronx, heard this MC at a party last weekend, burned it down, naturally, but kid was selling CDs out of his trunk, and when Dancehall looked to see what his name was, he blacked out and had an intense memory of being hungry as a child in a cold schoolbus while wearing wool shirts??? He snapped out of it and the MC was standing above him, saying "yeah sorry dude, my name be that specific memory" I heard he sent his demo to Sony and everyone was just crying and sh*t when they tried to read the label. Secretary got a really bad rash and had to go to a hospital in Denver.

I think this was a star trek episode.

Favela Flav
Dec 24, 2009


bunnybean posted:

BBB Complaint against one Favela Flav:
  • Client reports babysitter gave her "uneasy" feeling, last resort hire
  • Client reports home smells strongly of feces; found dog unattended in back yard, acting frenzied
  • Client reports dog now follows her to the bathroom and aggressively attempts "inappropriate sexual activities" with her since Alleged left
  • Requesting urgent review in compliance with S4A37I2; paraphrased, "no butt stuff"

Oh poo poo, they're onto me!

In highschool, I had a friend who turned out to be gay and he got really drunk and came out to me by accident instead of his best friend, and I thought he was BSing me so I called him a bullshit artist, and then he cried and we hugged. He said he was crying because his braces hurt, but he was just sad and relieved... and drunk.

True story.

Lonely Virgil posted:

Did you play red rocket with him?

What is red rocket? I'd google it but I'm afraid of the results I might get.

HighClassSwankyTime
Jan 16, 2004


Go to southpark.com and search for red rocket.

Favela Flav
Dec 24, 2009


HighClassSwankyTime posted:

Go to southpark.com and search for red rocket.

I can't because america hates freedom. It's blocked in the rest of the free world and I don't have a VPN

bunnybean
Mar 31, 2010



Favela Flav posted:

I can't because america hates freedom. It's blocked in the rest of the free world and I don't have a VPN
Are you blaming America for other countries blocking South Park's website? drat. We got bad PR.

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013


Favela Flav posted:

...the kind of absolutely crazy stories that if they didn't happen to you, you wouldn't believe they really happened.

I've had all kinds of crazy bullshit happen to me over the years, but I'd like to kick things off with a relatively recent happening... I still struggle to believe it but I do have the scars and scratches to prove it really happened.

So: About a year ago I babysat a cat for a few weeks. He was a male cat and wasn't desexed, and was just coming up on sexual maturity.... Naturally he wanted to gently caress everything, and I do mean everything.

Anyway, ridiculous as it sounds, that's not the real story. The real ridiculous story is that every time I tried to take a number 2, the cat went mental... fully on needing to be physically restrained, trying to jump into the toilet mental. I had to put him outside on the balcony for a good hour after I did a number 2, because otherwise for reasons I still don't understand the smell drove him crazy.... and even more disturbingly made him horny.

Weird loving cat.

why didn't you just close the toilet lid?

Illegibly Eligible
Jul 21, 2009


I once paid real life monies to join an internet forum. For the most part, the entertainment value over the years has been a sound investment. Now and then a thread like this shows up, though, and the idea that I've spent money to read it seems utterly ridiculous indeed.

Old Style Pilsner
Feb 14, 2012


One time I went to the washroom for what I thought was a dissatisfyingly small poop, but it turned out to be the size of a small child's arm.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012



I bought a sweater that I really liked but when I washed it it got really small and now I can't wear it anymore because it looks silly

  • Post
  • Reply