|
My mom used to do things to me when I was a child. Talking 5 to 8 years old here. I didn't know I was being molested until I was much, much older, and sadly, I have to admit I enjoyed the things we did together. I hate myself for that. Stopped when I was 8 because my parents divorced, and she shacked up with some guy that had just graduated high school. He bacame my step father. We'd have to go visit them during the summers, and he loved to do things to me too, and my mother practically endorsed it. She'd put me in the shower with him, and she'd be in the bathroom, so I can't believe for a second, that she didn't know what was going on. I didn't know it was wrong at the time, I never told my father, because I had the insane reasoning, that he'd hate me for it. I wish I had though, because now that I'm much older, and know him much better, I know he would have killed them both... and I would have loved that. I've never had a normal relationship with a woman. Literally, every woman I've been with romantically, and that amounts to all of about 3... I was only with them because they pursued me. I literally fear women, because I know how much I can be hurt by them, but on the other hand, I crave contact with them. I want to be loved. I just don't think I'm worthy of it. My life is nothing but a series of ups and downs. I have a great job now... and make decent money, but I have no human contact outside of coworkers, and I really don't want to have any contact with them outside of work... I find myself withdrawing from people, and I hate it. I can't even stand talking on the phone to my brother, father, stepmother, and I love them to death. I'm on anti-depressants... I'm on the strongest dose of effexor you can be on, before you have to worry about seizures, so I can't go any higher. So I feel like a zombie, but the alternative is being off of it, and creating meticulous plans for killing myself that will have as little impact on my loved ones as possible. When I went off of the anti depressants, because I was tired of feeling like a void... (the best way I can explain it) I spent every night coming up with plans to kill myself, so that I wouldn't have to worry about my property value going down. I thought up places I could go that way I wouldn't have to kill myself in a house, and some real estate agent would have to disclose to somebody that a person killed themselves here. My weight swings drastically. 4 years ago, I was 160lbs, 2 years ago, I had got up to 220, four months ago, I weighed 180, and currently weigh 220. My liver is hosed because of the rapid weight loss/gain and I know I"m killing myself slowly because of it. I'll be on a roll... counting calories, hitting the gym... and then almost overnight, I'll change to a gently caress it all attitude. I'll eat what tastes good, and overeat it because I just want something that makes me feel good. I just want to be normal... or at least feel normal, and I know it's not going to happen, because what the gently caress is normal? I think this is normal for me. I'm sorry... if this gets me banned then okay. I haven't drank in 6 years and tonight i had 3 shots of tequilla, and apparently I"m a lightweight now, because I'm drunk off of that... and all this poo poo hit me at once, and I'm sitting here in self pity, literally crying, even though I know it makes me a blubbering piece of poo poo wussy... but goddamn it, I want to feel normal for once in my life. I know I'm pathetic, and don't deserve love. I'm scared because even though I'm on the max dose of my anti-depressant, the suicidal thoughts have been creeping back in for the last few months. I'm an atheist, and know that if I end it all, that will just be it.. the end... and even that scares me. If I had to choose... I hope the buddhist are right.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 04:29 |
|
|
|
| # ? May 23, 2013 03:47 |
|
|
Your mother is a horrible woman and I wish I could travel back in time and smash her face in. You need therapy. You are not a piece of poo poo and you deserve to love and be loved.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 04:34 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I know I'm pathetic, and don't deserve love. That isn't true. Consider this post a digital bro-hug. Life can be hard, and you can get dealt a really lovely hand. But that doesn't make you undeserving of love or pathetic. It just means all the more that you need to love yourself, and we show our love for people by taking care of them, so you need to take care of yourself. You're not a piece of poo poo.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 04:44 |
|
|
Yeah, you definitely need to work this out with a therapist instead of just medicating yourself. You need to be actively improving. I think there's also support groups for these sorts of things, which may help you out as well. Your mother is a horrible person and I am sorry she did such things to you. Nobody deserves that.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 04:45 |
|
|
Thanks.... if time travel becomes possible... I'll give you her name and address. Do what you will.  I should probably add, that I'm 35... which kind of makes this self loathing crap even more infantile.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 04:46 |
|
|
FordPRefectLL posted:Yeah, you definitely need to work this out with a therapist instead of just medicating yourself. You need to be actively improving. I think there's also support groups for these sorts of things, which may help you out as well. I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 04:52 |
|
|
It's not infantile. You are dealing with some of the worst things life can throw at you and you didn't deserve any of it.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 04:54 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:Thanks.... if time travel becomes possible... I'll give you her name and address. Do what you will. Who gives a gently caress if its "infantile"? (which it isn't, your self-loathing isn't particularly unique or permanent - plenty of other people have been in the same boat at your age and grown past it. Having serious self-image issues is not a kid thing, it's a human thing). Look, if you're an atheist, that means this is the only shot you've got an enjoying yourself, so you need to make it count, and that means you have to get your poo poo sorted out so you can love yourself and find more enjoyment in life. So find a therapist. I promise you, there are plenty of people older than you who have benefited from therapy.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 04:57 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. With a therapist, you find someone you feel comfortable with and bring it up in your own time. Therapy is a safe space. There is support and understanding, not judgement.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 05:03 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. I've had a lot of issues with my mother too and it took me a lot of time to open up with my therapist. I had to jump around from therapist to therapist before I could find someone who really knew how to speak to me and made me feel comfortable, too. You don't have to spill your guts to the first person you meet with. As far as that whole "I'm a guy, stuff isn't supposed to get to us." thing, that's wrong. Things do get to us. Sometimes we know how to cope with it, so it looks like it doesn't get to us. You don't know how to cope with this. Who would know? Sometimes something is so horrible, you can't just go "oh I should automatically know how to deal with this." Please, get some help.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 05:07 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. Believe me it helps. Trying to get help and airing out your past doesn't make you weak. In fact I think it shows a great deal of strength and perseverance (which you already have after surviving what you've been through). I'm a woman but I've experienced trauma and dreaded the thought of rehashing things to someone that I barely knew. I was isolated, I didn't love myself and I didn't think I was deserving of love. I finally took the plunge and my only regret was not seeing a therapist sooner. It can be a slow process but a worthwhile one. Seek out a therapist that specializes in trauma (you need someone that knows what they're doing) and don't get discouraged if you have to see a few before you find someone you can trust. You're worth the love and help.
brainwashed fucked around with this message at Mar 16, 2013 around 05:17 |
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 05:12 |
|
|
Holy poo poo, man: therapy, therapy, therapy. Also, call the suicide hotline if you feel the need. If you're an atheist, then you think that this life is "it", right? So why throw it away? You're only 35; that's not old by any stretch of imagination. You still have decades to live a healthy and good life. Seek therapy and outside help. Wait until you're, like, 80 or whatever to consider suicide. Slight tangent, but since you mentioned it: I'm assuming that by "hoping the Buddhists are right", you mean reincarnation, correct? Actually, that's a common misconception because most Buddhists don't believe in reincarnation. The Buddha was pretty mum on the whole "what happens to your consciousness after you die?" question. It doesn't matter what comes after; it could be nothing or it could be drat near anything. Instead, focus on the present moment. Every moment is an opportunity to change yourself and your life. It's never ever too late to live a good life. Focus on doing that. Research Buddhism (and other philosophies) and learn more, if you like. Or just practice mindfulness meditation. But definitely follow other posters' advice and seek therapy and outside help.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 05:15 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. As for talking about it - that's the point of a therapist. They aren't someone you're close to. They aren't someone you have to manage a relationship with. They are objective, removed from your daily life, and let you build a comfortable place where you can confide without worrying about your girlfriend/guyfriend/boss judging you or finding out about it or starting rumors. Guys can have feelings. I'm a guy and I have feelings. There are men who are psychologists who have feelings. There are even men who are psychologists who understand the A Real Manly Guy is Too Tough For This poo poo. What real pussies do is let poo poo hold them back. Real action hero kick-rear end manly men aren't invincible, they take the wound but they heal. You're not doing that. You're letting it control you by not fixing it. You're slowly dying of gangrene instead of biting down on a rag, digging the bullet out, and bandaging it up. The most Macho Hooah Tough-Guy poo poo in the world is fixing problems and improving things. A necessary step to fixing the problem of your self-loathing and improving your self-image is to talk it out, identify the emotions and where they come from, and find ways to wash them away. Almost without exception, the first step in that process is to talk about it, get out all those feelings into the world, talking about your feelings is exactly like digging a bullet out of your arm - as long as they're inside you, they just fester and make it worse. A therapist will be a sterile environment and tools that will let you dig it out without reinfecting that wound by injuring your relationships with others or spreading rumors or whatever the hell else would keep you from sharing this stuff with people who are not your therapist.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 05:17 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. As a fellow guy-being this is wrong. Stuff gets to all of us all the time. Most of us have friends we can share it with which helps us to cope and work through pain, fears, and struggles. Let go of any sense of machismo and self-control. Most of the people you think have self-control over all their emotions are either faking it and are wrecks inside or they have processed it and dealt with it with all the tears and sleepless nights that sometimes includes. You are dealing with something worse then what most of us are. You need friends you can confide in and a therapist to help you work through it. Give up the idea that you have to appear "all together" all the time. Save that for your work-life. My closest friends all know that I am in some ways broken and I know the same about them. It is part of why we are friends and trust each other.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 05:34 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. Like other people have said, it's not necessarily easy. There's definitely something to be said for finding a therapist you mesh well with. But therapists are trained to meet you where you are, without judgement. Even if you're only taking the things that have been going through your head and saying them out loud, it can make a world of difference. As for people who say that guys aren't supposed to feel emotions about anything, they're either putting up a macho front or they've never been seriously hurt. I used to think that a measly ten-foot fall couldn't hurt that bad, until I lost my balance while on a ladder and broke my arm when I hit the ground. Gave me a little perspective I didn't have before that happened.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 06:29 |
|
|
Thanks all. I've sobered up a little, and actually reading this thread now. Wanted to post for a while, but was actually afraid of what some of the responses would be. A little background. I was raised in a little backwoods town in east Texas, and pretty much raised where, boys don't cry... etc. Guess that was only reinforced when I was in the Army... so it's really hard for me to talk about my feelings. The big conundrum now is, I feel so lonely, but I don't really like people. I don't think I'll ever figure myself out.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 06:55 |
|
|
What everyone else has said about therapy, yes. Just being able to tell someone you can trust about this will help an enormous amount - keeping this inside for as long as you have is making you ill. What they did to you is poisoning your life, and you can't fix it by yourself. You deserve to get the help you need now, and macho has nothing to do with that, none of it is any reflection on your masculinity. Please start looking into it, so you can live your life without this burden.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 07:00 |
|
|
How do you bring this up with a therapist? Well, you could print out your post and hand it to them if you feel uncomfortable saying things out loud. I know that I always have an easier time bringing up difficult subjects in text.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 07:03 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:The big conundrum now is, I feel so lonely, but I don't really like people. I don't think I'll ever figure myself out. Not liking people is most likely a defense mechanism and not a deeply held position. People who get poo poo on their entire lives tend to withdraw into themselves. It's extremely dangerous, because the walls you lock into place around yourself seem comforting and helpful, right up until the moment that you realize you've walled yourself completely in, and your safe spot has turned into a prison. Eventually I'm told you can even become mostly numb to the loneliness and there's not even much of a reason to escape anymore. You can just continue to exist in your little bubble of make believe misanthropy indefinitely, missing all the little things that make life worth the hassle. I find the concept chilling as hell. Sounds like Hell to me, or a sort of living purgatory at best. Good news though, it isn't impossible to break down all that BS you've built up in your head over the years. It's hard and it hurts like hell, but with a little professional help and a lot of time and effort it is totally doable. And it's never, EVER too loving late to start trying. You've already taken the first step in acknowledging your issues, which is often the hardest part. Now you need help to sort the healthy stuff from the unhealthy stuff, and learning ways to deal with the unhealthy stuff.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 08:19 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I don't think I'll ever figure myself out. That's okay. Just keep spending time with yourself. Writing as you are now is pretty good.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 08:22 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. Yo it's much harder to open with "hello my mom molested me and endorsed further molesting" to someone you know than it is with a therapist. It's not even about being a guy. It's about being a child. When you find a therapist, try to find someone that specializes in early age/sexual trauma. Suicidal idealation is not okay.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 08:25 |
|
|
Have you been to malesurvivor.org? I have friends who found the forums there really helpful. If nothing else, knowing you're not alone might help. I am so sorry you've had to deal with this. Seconding everyone who suggests it will be easier to tell a therapist---a professional who has heard stories of similar experiences numerous times from others, don't forget---than even close friends.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 08:52 |
|
|
Thanks for all the responses. I haven't been ignoring. Hitting the sack now.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 09:10 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:My mom used to do things to me when I was a child. Talking 5 to 8 years old here. I didn't know I was being molested until I was much, much older, and sadly, I have to admit I enjoyed the things we did together. I hate myself for that. This is pretty common by the way, and you shouldn't hate yourself or feel ashamed of it. It's normal for your body to react in certain ways to certain things and it doesn't mean it was your fault or that you wanted it. The comedian Billy Connolly who is a survivor of abuse by his father gave an interview where he described the same thing. Do seek therapy. What happened to you is horrible but there are professionals who have helped others heal from similar traumas and they can help you. You deserve to have a good life and good relationships with the people you love.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 10:56 |
|
|
Go to therapy, man. This is exactly what therapists are for. And don't be so hard on yourself... None of this is your fault.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 12:07 |
|
|
OP, this is some heavy heavy poo poo, that would cripple the strongest people out there. That you've come this far and have found success in the job department is even more impressive. Get therapy. There's nothing wrong with getting help, doubly so for you.
ItheWelp87 fucked around with this message at Mar 16, 2013 around 15:13 |
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 14:49 |
|
|
Another possibly helpful/informative site is http://1in6.org/ Best of luck OP 
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 15:10 |
|
|
drat, OP, I wish I could give you a hug. Echoing everyone else, please do see a therapist, as they can help you learn how to heal and to not direct the anger and pain of what happened to you towards yourself. You didn't do anything wrong or anything to deserve what happened to you. If anyone is a piece of poo poo, it's your mother and stepfather for abusing a child like that. I hope things will get better for you in the future.
|
| # ? Mar 16, 2013 18:16 |
|
|
Thora posted:Another possibly helpful/informative site is http://1in6.org/ Thanks for the site. Some interesting things on there.
|
| # ? Mar 17, 2013 05:50 |
|
|
OP, you are not a POS. There is nothing in your post that would lead me to think that you are. The people who did those things to you are the ones that deserve to feel that way, not you. Rather, you are a strong person. From an outsider's point of view, it seems you've done amazingly well with your life so far, even with all you've been through. Most people who know you would probably never guess the depth of the pain you've experienced and how it affects you to this day. All the more reason for you to get help. It won't mean you aren't strong; it will mean you are strong, for doing something difficult in order to help yourself.
|
| # ? Mar 18, 2013 14:29 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. This is exactly what a therapist is for. They aren't your friends or parents or siblings, they're a professional trained in ways to help people get through stuff just like what you're going through.
|
| # ? Mar 18, 2013 14:45 |
|
|
I unfortunately don't have any advice to give that hasn't been given already, but I wanted to chime in with another digital hug. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. You don't deserve it. You are absolutely not a piece of poo poo and you most definitely do deserve to be loved and cherished.
|
| # ? Mar 19, 2013 06:24 |
|
|
It's definitely not immature to be thinking about these emotions at your age. I think I've heard that memories and feelings hit hardest when we're feeling safer and secure- I think you said you were in a good job and not had a drink in a long time and were on anti-depressants. When we feel stronger and secure, our psyche thinks we're ready to face some of the traumas we've put aside- and that doesn't often happen until we're older. Maybe as a pre-step to therapy, think about who you'd be comfortable talking to- a male or a female? Did you get along with whoever prescribed you your medication- was that a psychiatrist or your GP? I think perhaps just writing down what happened is a good idea, as it can be so intimidating to open up to a stranger about your deepest feelings, and just have them read it, if that would make you more comfortable. You did no wrong in any way- the adults in your life were to blame.
|
| # ? Mar 19, 2013 06:35 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. Heya. I was raped at eight by my parish priest. I wasn't able to tell a therapist until I was around twenty or so. But stop it with the "I'm a guy" bullshit. You know better than that. Your pain isn't any less real because you've got a dick. A terrible thing happened to you, you need help. Find a therapist, a warmth, sympathetic one, and tell him or her and go from there. Other things: That you enjoyed it-- a boy having something 'special' with his mother-- doesn't mean anything bad about you. Abuse of children hinges on exploiting their desire to please and their need for attention. You didn't do anything wrong, and liking it doesn't mean anything about you except that you were a kid, and your mother took advantage of that. The shame you feel is because you were a child, and when you are a child, you take guilt and blame entirely onto yourself. You believe you must have done something, encouraged it, you look for ways to blame yourself. It's another twisted part about the abuse of children, their automatic self-blame. Saying these things to you now will probably not fully penetrate. I know they didn't the first time I heard them. That's why you need a therapist-- someone who will say the right things to you, over and over, and help you build a bridge across this river of crap. You will learn to feel empathy for yourself, for yourself as a child, to forgive yourself (not that there is anything real to forgive), and you will be able to get better. You can do it. I did it. I barely even think about what happened to me these days. I can type this now without feeling a sick roil of shame and guilt. You can do it. Please try. You deserve it. I have PMs if you need more encouragement.
|
| # ? Mar 19, 2013 10:50 |
|
|
Be really careful when you quit antidepressants (don't do it without your psychiatrist's assistance) and do it slowly. Effexor has a really short half life and when a does is missed, withdrawal kicks in fast (I haven't been on it in several years, but just thinking about it makes me queasy)
|
| # ? Mar 19, 2013 20:04 |
|
|
Yeah, a friend of mine quit Effexor (cold turkey, I think) and he said it felt like he was having electric shocks. I don't know what other things he experienced in withdrawal. Apparently the electric shock feeling isn't uncommon. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SSRI_d...uation_syndrome Withdrawing from medication should definitely be done under supervision of a professional.
|
| # ? Mar 19, 2013 21:25 |
|
|
January posted:Yeah, a friend of mine quit Effexor (cold turkey, I think) and he said it felt like he was having electric shocks. I don't know what other things he experienced in withdrawal. Holy poo poo. That was happening to me for about a week last time I was off Lexapro, but I never put 2 and 2 together. Those brain zaps are no joke.
|
| # ? Mar 19, 2013 22:05 |
|
|
ndmain1977 posted:I always see people giving the advice of seeing a therapist. I just don't get how you bring something like that up with a therapist. I can't even tell the people I'm closest to about it.... it's beyond extremely embarassing for me to even think about it. I feel so ashamed of it, even though people on here will say I shouldn't be... but I'm a guy. Stuff isn't supposed to get to us. Hey there man, I speak from experience when I say that telling a therapist will be the most liberating, cathartic experience of your life. Before I finally took the leap of telling the therapist (almost twenty years later) I had been seeing for a while that I was molested by my uncle at age 9 I was feeling almost exactly as you feel now. But a therapist is not there to judge or make you feel ashamed; many have heard stories like this far, far too often. ndmain1977 posted:The big conundrum now is, I feel so lonely, but I don't really like people. I don't think I'll ever figure myself out. You already are. If you decide to start really delving into yourself and what was done to you you'll really see yourself for what you are. You are not a piece of poo poo, you've been terribly, terribly hurt. It's neither fair nor just nor anything else, but it is. It can be so hard to differentiate yourself from what the abuse has done to you, but you are deep down a great person, but the hating people, the loneliness, it comes with the territory. Even now that I've started therapy I still can't ever let my guard down enough to really connect with anyone, further reinforcing the walls my loneliness. It may be really lovely at times; I still am not well, but therapy has allowed me to begin to mend. Admitting that I could be hurt, that it was okay to admit I needed others' help was the first step, and I strongly urge you to take a leap of faith. It's not going to be an easy road---but it's a necessary one. And brother, I'd give you a hug if I could. You aren't alone in this. PM me if you'd like to talk to someone else going through this poo poo. Grave $avings fucked around with this message at Mar 20, 2013 around 03:11 |
| # ? Mar 19, 2013 22:28 |
|
|
You asked (maybe rhetorically) how does one bring something like this up to a therapist? Sometimes I've seen people suggest "click the ? and print this thread and give it to them". A couple of times, I've seen a poster ACTUALLY do that. A therapist can help you the most when they know the issues you are having. Sometimes it hard to get the words out, but handing a peice of paper that you've written can be easier. Good luck. You have the power to grow and change and you aren't a piece of poo poo.
|
| # ? Mar 19, 2013 22:43 |
|
|
|
| # ? May 23, 2013 03:47 |
|
|
You deserve a shot at happiness, love and a real life. Unless you take steps to deal with your abuse, you probably won't get it. I know that you are afraid to share what you've been through with anyone. You've been very brave to share it anonymously, here. That's a step in the right direction. Keep going, man. You deserve it.
|
| # ? Mar 19, 2013 23:14 |
|
