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       -----------------------------------------------------------------------  WWE Title Match: The Rock (c) vs. John Cena World Heavyweight Title Match: Alberto Del Rio (c) w/ Ricardo Rodriguiz vs. Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter CM Punk vs. The Undertaker No Holds Barred Match - If Triple H loses he retires: Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns) vs. Randy Orton, Sheamus, Big Show WWE Tag Team Title Match: Team Hell No (Kane & Daniel Bryan)(c) vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston w/ AJ Lee Ryback vs. Mark Henry -----------------------------------------------------------------------        -----------------------------------------------------------------------  - Smackdown open with the Rhodes Scholars coming out and calling out Randy Orton and Sheamus. They want revenge for the match on Monday because they were ready and already had a match prior to it. - Randy Orton and Sheamus defeated Team Rhodes Scholars. After the match The Shield appeared on the tron and challenged the team of Orton and Sheamus to a match at WrestleMania. They mention that 3 on 2 is not fair, and the Shield are all about fairness and justice. So the Shield told Orton and Sheamus to find another partner to challenge. Sheamus and Orton say they are on at Mania. - Backstage Big Show walks into Orton and Sheamus' locker room and ask to be part of their team at Wrestlemania. Big Show says he wants revenge on the Shield for attacking him on the last two Raws. Big Show describes himself as the ideal partner who spent on destruction and domination, Orton and Sheamus agree on those attributes but say they have their partner picked already, and it is Ryback. - Kaitlyn and Layla defeated Aksana & Tamina Snuka. Layla blind tagged herself in to steal the pin. - Backstage The Bella Twins ran into The Funkadactyls. Cameron and Naomi welcomed the Bellas back to WWE. They mentioned they took their similar dress style from the Bellas because they somehow grew up watching them. The Bellas insult the Funkadactyls and they fight. - Dolph Ziggler defeated Kane. During the match Daniel Brian and Big E Langston brawled on the outside. After the match Big E laid out Kane with the Big Finish to protect Ziggler. - Another Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez parody video of Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter's We the People videos. - Backstage R-Truth and Chris Jericho are laughing after watching the video until Jack Swagger Zeb Colter walk in. Swagger states that Jericho was just like Del Rio except Jericho crossed the Canadian border to steal American jobs. Jericho said he was born in America and is as much of a Real American as Swagger and Colter. Jericho says they need to stop worrying about politics and other stuff, and start worrying about actually wrestling at WrestleMania. But before then Swagger has to worry about his match with Jericho tonight. - The Great Khali vs Fandango was supposed to happen but Khali obviously couldn't pronounce Fandango's name so the match was canceled. - Backstage Matt Striker interviewing Randy Orton and Sheamus to announce that the match was official until the Shield attacked them all. - Mark Henry vs. Ryback ends in a No Contest, When the Shield come down attack Ryback. Henry watches the beat down from outside the ring and once the Sheild lays Ryback out the Triple Powerbomb, Mark Henry steps back in and gives Ryback a series of World Strongest Slams. - Jack Swagger defeated Chris Jericho via pinfall to end Smackdown. -----------------------------------------------------------------------  - Raw opens with John Cena coming out and cutting a promo on the Rock. Suddenly the Prime Time Players come out, or at least Darren Young does. A fellow that looks like Titus O'Neil, but isn't, claims his name is "Pancake". They cut a goofy promo towards Cena with such lines as "If John Cena gets to be on Fruity Pebbles, then his look alike Darren Young should be on Cocoa Pebbles." Cena then challenges Darren Young to match now. - John Cena defeats Darren Young. - Ryback defeats David Otunga. Ryback cuts a promo on the Shield, saying that he, Orton, and Sheamus will defeat them. He then goes on to state he will cross paths with Mark Henry again. Henry's music hits and goes on his way to ring until Vickie Guerrero and Teddy Long stop him. Vickie announces that she is taking Ryback out of the 6 Man Tag, and instead making it Mark Henry vs Ryback at Wrestlemania. - Fandango is finally debuts and his entrance has like a bunch of set ups such as a special curtain, a dance floor, and a giant pyro sign of his own image. His opponent is Great Khali, how ever he still asks Natalya to say his name. Instead she sends Khali after him and he chickens out and calls the match off again. Loud "You Can't Wrestle" chants at Fandango, but at least he can dance! - R-Truth defeats Damien Sandow via count out. Backstage Cody Rhodes is with the Bella Twins watching the match. Kaitlyn comes up and apologizes to Cody that she will have to cancel their plans. The Bellas tell her no one cares, but Cody is about to say something until Kaitlyn tells him that he and his mustache can keep the Bellas, because she's done with him. Cody looked a little disappointed. - Undertaker comes down to the ring and announces that he is going to get the Urn back and that CM Punk has only sealed his fate with his actions and is about to leave the ring. CM Punk is then heard mimicking Paul Bearer's voice and using the Urn as a puppet to do so. CM Punk talks about how he can hear Bearer telling him how Taker is going to lose in multiple ways. Punk claims he is a normal man and he wont claim he has super powers, or that its his destiny to break the streak, he's just going to because he knows he can seeing as he is the best in the world. Punk is playing with the urn juggling it and tossing it around as Taker looks on in disgust. He drops the urn and says "Oh poo poo, the lid almost came off!", but keeps claiming he means no disrespect to Undertaker. - Team Hell No defeats Epico and Primo. During the match AJ Lee tries distracting Team Hell No but they still win. After the match she stares them down and skips away. - Backstage Chris Jericho is being interviewed about having an Intercontinental Title shot tonight. He talks up his history with the belt and how he's held it the most in WWE. Fandango interrupts him so Chris Jericho mocks his name in every way one can. Fandango threatens that Jericho will remember how to pronounce his name and walks off. Jericho still mocks his name confusing him to the movie ticket site. - Alberto Del Rio defeats Cody Rhodes. After the match Jack Swagger jumped Del Rio. They brawled outside the ring until Swagger blindsided Del Rio as he was preoccupied with Zeb Colter. Swagger was then told to break Ricardo Rodriguez's ankle with the Patriot Lock. - Booker T is inducted to the WWE Hall of Fame. - Randy Orton and Sheamus, who WWE is calling the Celtic Vipers, defeated 3MB in a tag team match. After the match The Shield run down to attack them but Big Show makes the save. Sheamus and Orton don't trust him but the Shield are still scared off by Show's presence. - Dolph Ziggler defeats Kofi Kingston again for the Nth time. Team Hell No comes out and challenges Ziggler and Big E Langston to a match. AJ accepts for them only if its a Tag Title match at Wrestlemania. Team Hell No agrees and the match is on. - Wade Barrett retains his Intercontinental Title by sneaking a pin on The Miz after he finished off Chris Jericho with a Skull Crushing Finale. - Triple H and Paul Heyman, and security, come out to sign the contract for the WrestleMania match. Triple H says no matter what he's going to sign the contract so just hand it over. Heyman's happy to hear that and keeps bringing up crappy stipulations that the match could be. Triple H is amused by this until he bring up a match where the Winner gets Stephanie McMahon, then takes it back because it should really be Loser gets Stephanie McMahon. Triple H drags Heyman over the table and beats on him and tosses the security out of the ring. Triple H keeps beating on Heyman until he signs the contract which make Lensar come out. Heyman and Brock Lesnar announce that at WrestleMania it will be a No Holds Barred Match, and if Triple H loses, his career is over. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Websites WWE.COM RAW WWE NXT WWE SUPERSTARS SMACKDOWN! -----------------------------------------------------------------------  If anything is wrong, who cares.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:20 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 11:08 |
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Really really bad Raw.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:20 |
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I would have loved a "BROCK GETS TO BE COO! HE GETS YOUR JOB IF HE WINS, HUNTER!" and then we get like a year of Executive Brockle Snar. RAW was eh with some cool spots. Like Titus. Fandango.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:20 |
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I was surprised I enjoyed a match with Miz involved.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:22 |
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So since the crowd poo poo on Hunter last time he lost and tried to retire he wants to do it over?
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:22 |
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Gatts posted:I would have loved a "BROCK GETS TO BE COO! HE GETS YOUR JOB IF HE WINS, HUNTER!" and then we get like a year of Executive Brockle Snar.  Would be the best.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:22 |
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Titus was hilarious, I still like Fandango, ADR-Cody was pretty OK, everything else was a goddamned poo poo show.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:22 |
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Still kind of funny the main event of WM30 is going to be between two part timers who lose at WM29.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:23 |
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God drat Pancake.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:23 |
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Pittsburgh is a black hole of fun
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:24 |
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That Raw was bad but I still think Mania is shaping up better than I expected a few weeks ago, somehow.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:24 |
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Fandango is the greatest thing about WWE currently, Pancake was fantastic, and Punk's Paul Bearer imitation was incredible. Otherwise, gently caress that Raw.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:25 |
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UltimoDragonQuest posted:Still kind of funny the main event of WM30 is going to be between two part timers who lose at WM29. Undertaker is losing?
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:25 |
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UltimoDragonQuest posted:Still kind of funny the main event of WM30 is going to be between two part timers who lose at WM29. Neither Cena nor Taker is going to lose?
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:25 |
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Liar Lyre posted:Pittsburgh is a black hole of fun Another week where the consensus is the show Wasnt good. Another week where people are mad at the paying fans for not enjoying the show. I sense a pattern.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:26 |
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Note: People were chanting USA while Jack Swagger beat the tar out of Del Rio and Ricardo.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:27 |
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Pittsburgh was really terrible. That crowd proves time and time again that they can't get excited for anything remotely engaging. Raw's in Philly next week, so hopefully the right side of the state can do it better. ^Pennsyltucky. Philly, Pittsburgh, with a ton of Kentucky between. Also you've got West Virginia right there too.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:27 |
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At least Pittsburgh was loud at chanting "USA" when the racist tea party guy snapped the little Mexicans ankle.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:27 |
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FeistysJubilation posted:no one knew how to react Well you see nobody loving cared when HHH lost the End of an Era match against the Undertaker, and nobody was sad, because nobody gives a gently caress about HHH. And then he decided to take on Brock Lesnar, which was all sorts of fun, and we got to see Stephanie all grownsed up and poo poo, and nobody cared, and then they gave the entrances UFC style poo poo, and then Brock basically did a long-form booked version of his Frank Mir fight where he sat on HHH until HHH tapped out. And everyone was supposed to be sad, except nobody was sad, because nobody gives a gently caress about HHH. It made him so mad that he got YOU TAPPED OUT chants instead of THANK YOU TRIPS chants that he came out and did a willIwon'tI speech that was only supposed to be the length of a pop song and turned into a prog-rock epic not entirely unlike "Close To The Edge" by esteemed prog outfit Yes (the pouting part syncs up perfectly with Part III, "I Get Up, I Get Down"). And nobody cared about that, either, or that song, because only stoned-rear end nerds like me like that song, but not HHH. I don't like HHH, and you don't either, and neither does anyone else, because he thinks he's Motorhead and Conan the Barbarian and all that but in reality he's just another loving e-fed bullshitter who took steroids and hosed his boss' daughter. And now here we are, again, with another match, and instead of Paul Heyman running footage of HHH tapping out like logic would dictate, here's footage that will make HHH uncomfortable: making Brock Lesnar bleed, and turning it into the Kill Bill Part I trick instead of loving believing in blood. code:This match will be bad, this show will be bad, the third hour of Raw was bad, and all of it combined is a bad enough poo to rescue the president of piss. gently caress this poo poo, I'm gonna go play Faxanadu. God bless
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:28 |
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Ricardo is from California. They were cheering him on.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:28 |
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I can't wait for Triple H to retire and not wrestle until next year's Wrestlemania when he comes out of retirement because THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:29 |
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Sweeney Tom posted:Fandango is the greatest thing about WWE currently, Pancake was fantastic, and Punk's Paul Bearer imitation was incredible. Otherwise, gently caress that Raw. Only two more Raws before Wrestlemania and the two best things on the show were comedy jobbers doing comedy jobber segments. Also CM Punk doing his best to carry a feud with Undertaker through what I'm assuming was a pre-taped promo.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:29 |
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Holy dogshit, Celtic Vipers? loving godawful.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:29 |
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Liar Lyre posted:Pittsburgh is a black hole of fun It's pretty amazing how a deathly silent crowd makes an already bad show last for loving ever.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:29 |
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Xenoletum posted:Pittsburgh was really terrible. That crowd proves time and time again that they can't get excited for anything remotely engaging. Raw's in Philly next week, so hopefully the right side of the state can do it better.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:30 |
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Critical posted:Holy dogshit, Celtic Vipers? loving godawful. Hashtag Celtic Vipers.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:30 |
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The last hour of Raw was really good, but the first two hours sure felt pointless.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:31 |
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Ireland and snakes have a long history of cooperation.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:31 |
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Vince doesn't like Titus, but thinks that Pancake guy's got pizazz! Also, glad there's an excuse to post this. 
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:32 |
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Paper Jam Dipper posted:I can't wait for Triple H to retire and not wrestle until next year's Wrestlemania when he comes out of retirement because THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL. It's all they have after Cena overcame being fired twice.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:32 |
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I think I'm cutting Raw from my viewing schedule until I hear people say it's gotten a lot better, because I haven't enjoyed this show in what feels like forever and I have better ways to waste three hours every Monday night
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:33 |
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UltimoDragonQuest posted:They can't kill the retirement stipulation. To be honest Randy Savage killed it like 20 years ago.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:33 |
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How long was Piper retired between Mania 3 and whenever he came back?
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:35 |
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Frilled Lizard posted:Vince doesn't like Titus, but thinks that Pancake guy's got pizazz! This gif is killing me. What face is he making here?
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:35 |
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CM Punk is a national treasure and I wish he would never retire and be champion and color commentary and everything forever. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkGdq4NOBE8
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:35 |
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SamuraiFoochs posted:This gif is killing me. What face is he making here? Everything he did as King Booker was ridiculous, it was great. Wish they'd bring back the tournament, there are so many guys on the roster that could run with that gimmick.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:39 |
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Critical posted:Holy dogshit, Celtic Vipers? loving godawful. I wonder if anyone has bothered to tell Vince that there aren't any snakes in Ireland.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:39 |
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ThatWhiteGuy posted:I wonder if anyone has bothered to tell Vince that there aren't any snakes in Ireland. But the Celtic Vipers are not in Ireland, they are in the WWE Universe 
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:42 |
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Critical posted:Holy dogshit, Celtic Vipers? loving godawful. They had a team named Air Boom God awful Raw.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:42 |
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| # ? May 24, 2013 11:08 |
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I thought they were chanting 'you can't dance' with Fandango. I also really really hope that bit with Punk dropping the urn was ad-libbed.  Punk.
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| # ? Mar 19, 2013 03:42 |
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