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Monster Jam was not a fun little movie made for kids. It was a documentary about the horrors of steroid abuse
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Jul 20, 2013 16:09
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xcore posted:The Australian public turns on their athletes if they cunts off the field, even if they are really good at what they do. Is this not the case in the States? Like hell they do. If that became true the NRL would collapse overnight.
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Jul 21, 2013 09:17
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DrunkPanda posted:Monster Jam was not a fun little movie made for kids. It was a documentary about the horrors of steroid abuse I don't know what documentary you're talking about but we're talking about the documentary Space Jam.
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Jul 21, 2013 10:08
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soggybagel posted:I don't know what documentary you're talking about but we're talking about the documentary Space Jam. I think MJ got Grave Digger to do steroids, too.
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Jul 21, 2013 11:43
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 Discuss...
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Jul 22, 2013 07:45
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I love Red Stripe champagne.
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Jul 22, 2013 07:47
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soggybagel posted:I don't know what documentary you're talking about but we're talking about the documentary Space Jam. Jordan agreed to it in order to deflect attention from the steroid "rumors" being spread about him.
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Jul 22, 2013 16:35
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Bliggers- posted:
MICHAEL IS NUMERO UNO
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Jul 22, 2013 17:08
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Bliggers- posted:
It's like Hitler won WWII and everyone is glad about it Charles Barkley is Churchill in this scenario
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Jul 22, 2013 18:17
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 New ProofOver in the N/V thread, it was posted that Jordan wasn't on the 1996 Olympic team (a fact I forgot). Now why was that really the case, Mr. Jordan? Jordan always had to lead the team in scoring, but why would that scare him away from the 1996 Olympics? There was fear that the leading scorer would be drug tested Checkmate, Mr. Jordan.
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Jul 25, 2013 02:04
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You never hear the media reporting on GOOD pedophiles, like his airness, Michael Jordan, who restrain themselves from actually loving children.
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Jul 25, 2013 02:44
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ChampRamp posted:
It's why everyone on the '92 Dream Team didn't want to be the leading scorer, and it's how Barkley ended up being the leading scorer of the Dream loving Team. MJ was hiding from the piss tests back then too.
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Jul 25, 2013 16:58
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I wonder if Barkley had all the back problems throughout his career because he didn't juice and get the healing help of PEDs.
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Jul 26, 2013 01:36
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They should just suspend steroid tests for 3-4 years, have all the big names roid out then go back to having a clean game. do that every 10 years. that'll clean up the sport.
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Jul 26, 2013 19:35
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I would like to bump this case with further evidence that Michael Jordan was a Bad Person™ http://www.torontosun.com/2013/09/27/michael-jordan-fighting-another-paternity-claim I have also made a list of plausible facts and evidence for his mild weight gain being the result of anabolic steroids/HGH and they are as follows:
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Sep 30, 2013 04:23
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Bliggers- posted:
Notice that Jordan is smoking a cigar in that picture. Also notice he did not win a championship the next season.
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Oct 8, 2013 07:02
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I don't know a loving thing about basketball or Jordon and never cared, but this thread is brilliant and I'm enjoying it immensely. Koop, your stories are great reading.
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Oct 17, 2013 12:59
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Steroids own, I wish more athletes would take them Though I suppose most at the top of their fields already do
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Oct 17, 2013 13:12
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I want to believe.
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Oct 18, 2013 01:25
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This is an excellent thread and it's lack of continuance pains me. Please, someone for the love of God, post a story about Mike Being Boss.
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Oct 23, 2013 11:27
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Tony Montana posted:I don't know a loving thing about basketball or Jordon and never cared, but this thread is brilliant and I'm enjoying it immensely. Koop, your stories are great reading. Seconding this. I have no idea how Koop knows what he knows or if it's even true but the level of detail makes me think that it has to be.
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Oct 24, 2013 01:30
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Jordan using PEDs is the worst kept secret. It was even mentioned in Space Jam: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxFwQ9nWGOc
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Oct 24, 2013 13:56
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So it's been a while since we've had a good, completely truthful Jordan story. Today's will be about Michael's greatest foe. Not Bird/Magic/Kobe, not male pattern baldness, not a backdoor slider, not even the gamblers he got himself into debt with. The one person Michael Jordan hates more than anyone else in this world is former Chicago Bulls General Manager Jerry Krause. All because Krause had the audacity to build a team around Jordan and help Jordan win his six rings. Krause was a former basketball scout and current baseball scout, noted for discovering Earl Monroe and Phil Jackson and developing a good relationship with the future coach, when Jerry Reinsdorf, who owned both the Bulls and the White Sox (for whom Krause was scouting for at the time), hired Krause to run the Bulls front office. Krause was tasked with building a team around Jordan, who was seen as a great scorer and a hell of an athlete, but not a leader or someone who was capable of winning a title. It was still a big man's league, with Houston's twin towers of Ralph Sampson and (H)Akeem Olajuwon excepted to dominate against Magic's Lakers and Bird's Celtics, and Patrick Ewing's Knicks were expected to contend as well. So as part of his first draft, Krause looked to add size. Even though Jordan wanted Duke guard Johnny Dawkins, who gave Jordan fits in college when the two competed (and for Jordan to be complimentary of a Duke player was rare, though Jordan doesn't hate Duke as much as he hates NC State), and the organization went as far as to tell Coach K that Dawkins was their pick, Krause swerved everyone and took Ohio State forward Brad Sellers. Sellers was an all-Big Ten forward his senior year, averaging just under 20 points and 13 rebounds a game. His strength was a versatile mid-range game, which would allow the Bulls to stretch the floor and pull the Ewings away from the basket, which would give Jordan more room to operate. If Sellers lived up to his potential, he would be a solid complimentary piece to Jordan and help move the Bulls up the ladder. Jordan, as we would all expect by this point, was livid. He wasn't close to the status he is now or was at his peak, but the Bulls were unquestionably his team and Jordan was growing used to getting his way. Krause drafting Sellers over Dawkins, especially after the Bulls had been committed to the latter pick, is what immediately soured Jordan on the portly GM. Michael would make it his mission to destroy Sellers in practice, throwing elbow after cheapshot elbow into Seller's kidneys and doing everything possible to make Sellers' life a living hell. He would pull Seller's bags off of team buses and planes, instruct room service to ring Seller's room at all hours of the night, and do everything short of planting drugs on Sellers to let him know that he was not welcome. Sellers never lived up to his potential and was ultimately made expendable when Krause later drafted Horace Grant, who might be the only person to come out of Clemson that doesn't completely poo poo the bed when faced with a high-pressure moment. Jordan and Krause had a rocky relationship from that point on, but there was one more trade that would put Krause permanently on Jordan's shitlist. The Detroit Pistons started their rise in the later 80's, as Bird's Celtics were beginning the downside of their arc. They were one of the few teams that could reliably hold Jordan in check, utilizing their "beat the everloving poo poo out of him" defense. The Bulls' counter to that was Charles Oakley, a mean motherfucker who acted as the equivalent of a hockey enforcer and was Jordan's closest friend on the team. But neither Oakley nor Sellers could reliably defend a franchise center like Ewing, and Krause looked to shore that gap by adding Bill Cartwright, a center playing out of position on the Knicks due to Ewing manning the middle. Cartwright wasn't as great a rebounder as Oakley was and had a reputation (undeserved, btw) as being soft, but he could score when called upon and was capable of locking down scoring centers, which is what the Bulls needed. When the Oakley/Cartwright trade happened, Jordan and Oakley were in Vegas to see a Mike Tyson fight when they found out about the trade on television. Jordan reportedly smashed a VIP area in anger and needed Oakley to run interference on the casino guards to keep Michael from going to jail. The two flew back to Chicago, so Oakley could pack his gear and keep Michael from killing Krause when Jordan saw him. But Oakley was gone, and no one else was going to protect Krause from his bully. As mean as Jordan was to Sellers, he was ten times that to Krause. In public, he would take potshots at Krause, with little snippets to the media here and there. In private, it was significantly worse. It was reported that Jordan called Krause "crumbs," after seeing Krause with powered donut on his face. The reality is, of course, far worse. The old Chicago Stadium didn't have the on-site training facilities that today's modern arenas have, so the Bulls had to train in a separate gym. Nutrition wasn't as thought of back then, so a spread would consist of breakfast carbs and pastries. One day, Krause was enjoying a donut from the spread when Michael saw him taking from the player's food. Incensed, Jordan tried to forcefeed the entire box of donuts down Krause's throat, calling him "crumbs" among every other profane name in the book. That wasn't the only poor behavior Jordan displayed against Krause. In addition to demanding that Reinsdorf fire Krause on untold occasions (Reindsdorf, one of the few people in position to tell Jordan no and live to tell that tale, never budged, having faith in his hiring decisions), Jordan would bully and haze Krause whenever possible. Krause would be on the phone in his office when Jordan would come in and shove all of Krause's stuff off the desk. If Krause was at a urinal, Jordan would come along side and urinate on Krause. On more than one occasion, Krause would be eating in the hotel lobby when Jordan would come spit in his food, letting "crumbs" know that he needed to lose some weight. (That led Krause to start eating all his meals in private, even when Jordan wasn't in the same hemisphere, and gave way to a severe weight disorder Krause fights to this day.) Krause did himself no favors with an aloof attitude and disdain towards others in the Bulls' and league offices. A great relationship with Phil Jackson sparked by Krause scouting Jackson led to hiring Jackson as coach, which led to the Bulls' six titles. But the two of them had a falling out and Jackson won't speak Krause's name to this day. Even Krause and Reinsdorf ended on bad terms, with the two barely speaking to each other outside of professional capacity towards the end of Krause's term. In the end, the Bulls won six titles, even as everything collapsed during the sixth title run in '97-'98. Krause blew up the team, with Jackson retiring, Pippen being traded to the Houston Rockets, a number of younger players being brought in, and Jordan retiring for the second time. Jordan would ask Reinsdorf one final time to fire Krause and hire him as GM, which Reinsdorf would once more refuse. And thus Jordan's time with the Chicago Bulls was over. While he's never gone on record, it's widely assumed that the reason Jordan wanted to go into an NBA front office was to show Jerry Krause that it was Jordan, and Jordan alone, who won those six NBA titles. It wasn't due to Krause trading for Bill Cartwright and Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman, wasn't due to drafting Horace Grant or hiring Phil Jackson or convincing Toni Kukoc to play in the U.S. It was all because of number 23, and Jordan was going to show Krause just how easy it was to for Michael Jordan to build a championship team. As we've all seen, Jordan's failed magnificently in this regard. Through his time with the Bullets and Bobcats, Jordan's ineptness as an executive is widely documented. Oddly enough, for a player who was legendary for his work ethic matching his boundless talent, Jordan has never shown a willingness to put in the work necessary, as opposed to Krause who enjoys sitting in the stands with a notepad and pen. To this day Krause serves as a baseball scout, seeing more games in a month than Jordan watches in a year. In the end, Michael Jordan's greatest foe was a short, fat man who's greatest crime was making Jordan the legend he is today. And if that doesn't speak to Michael's character, nothing will. C. Everett Koop fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Oct 25, 2013 |
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Oct 25, 2013 18:12
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Heard this from a friend since Halloween is coming up, I thought you guys might be interested. Basically go into the bathroom at night and keep the lights off. Say "MJ" three times into the mirror and wait a minute or two and then Michael Wilbon will show up. I've tried this and confirmed that it works. Scary poo poo.
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Oct 25, 2013 18:15
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Koop delivers. May the Lord Jordan be praised. My sister is about to marry an ex-NBA player. He's Aussie, as I and my sister are and I really don't give a poo poo if you believe me or not. I assume there aren't too many Aussies that made it to the States big league, so I'm not about to drop hints. I want to take some of your stories, Koop, and send them to him because they rock. Is he going to call bullshit? Are they bullshit, Koop? Koop.. koopy.. come now. Tell us all straight. We all wanna believe, but do these fine tales have to remain in this thread lest ridicule be heaped upon those foolish enough to re-tell them?
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Oct 25, 2013 20:05
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Tony Montana posted:Koop delivers. May the Lord Jordan be praised.
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Oct 25, 2013 20:07
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I'm going to blow the Luc Longley story wide open when I publish "The Greatest Double-Team of All Time."
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Oct 25, 2013 20:32
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Holy poo poo tell the story and I'll tell it at the wedding. p.s. It's not Luc Longley, but tell story anyway.
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Oct 25, 2013 20:36
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Tony Montana posted:Koop delivers. May the Lord Jordan be praised. http://www.basketball-reference.com/friv/birthplaces.cgi?country=AU So yeah not very many. Unless he wasn't born there. Though I did not know Kyrie was born in Australia
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Oct 25, 2013 21:03
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I bet it's Chris Anstey.
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Oct 27, 2013 22:51
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I sincerely hope it isn't Shane Heal. (I know nothing about the guy, but he's honestly the most hateable player this country has produced)
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Oct 28, 2013 12:35
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I know it's greedy of me to request another Jordon story so soon after this recent one, Koop, but I'm intrigued to learn more about a player that I respected, if not admired, before reading this thread. Got any more Koop Scoops lying around?
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Oct 28, 2013 12:40
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Forget who my sister allows to gently caress her. We need another Koop Scoop
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Oct 28, 2013 12:53
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If Jordan had started steroids earlier maybe he would have had Combat Basketball for the SNES. You snooze you lose MJ. 
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Oct 29, 2013 00:12
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Documented proof of notorious rear end in a top hat Michael Jordan continuing his cheating ways: http://extramustard.si.com/2013/11/13/the-rules-of-beer-pong-apparently-do-not-apply-to-michael-jordan/?eref=sihp
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Nov 13, 2013 19:13
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http://deadspin.com/this-fake-30-for-30-about-space-jam-is-actually-kind-of-1463735175 Finally, a documentary about Michaels time roiding up the Tune Squad
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Nov 13, 2013 20:04
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GobiasIndustries posted:Documented proof of notorious rear end in a top hat Michael Jordan continuing his cheating ways: That's not beer, that's clean urine he carries around in a cup in case of random drug tests
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Nov 13, 2013 20:25
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This isn't a Jordan story (there's more coming when I have the time), but with David Stern stepping down as NBA Commissioner I wanted to tell a quick story about him, and believe me when I say there's as many Stern stories as there are Jordan stories, just that David Stern was smart enough to stay out of the limelight. If you ever go to a cocktail party or any type of gathering, you'll understand that there are four different types of people. The most common are just regular joes, nothing special or out of the ordinary. After that you'll get people who think they're the smartest ones in the room but really aren't, we've all met those. Less common after that are the people who are the smartest ones in the room but are either too humble or self-doubting to believe it; I've met many academic types who were like this. The least common is when someone is the smartest person in the room and everyone knows it, especially them. I've been to far too many gatherings to count and in the latter category there are two men that are unquestionably king: Bill Clinton and David Stern. First, you have to understand that being the commissioner of a professional sports league is like being the hired babysitter of a group of elementary-age children, expect you've been hired by the children themselves. You've got to somehow figure out a way to represent a group of people who are very much used to have their own way all the time, and at times convince them that certain acts that go against their own self-interests aren't just best for the league, but best for them in the long run. Stern knew early on that getting the big teams in his corner was going to be key, and so he reached out to New York and Los Angeles. Jerry Buss had bought the Lakers in 1979, the same year Magic Johnson just happened to come on board, and was as stable as stable could be. Jerry was also dedicated to the long-term vision of expanding the league's market footprint, knowing that Magic was a license to print money. New York was a different story; they were owned by Gulf & Western at the time Stern took over and had a number of different presidents during Stern tenure with the NBA prior to becoming Commissioner. Jack Krumpe was in charge in '84 when Stern asked what it would take to get New York in his corner; Krumpe said "Get me Ewing and I'll vote for whatever you want." Needless to say, that wasn't the last time Stern would manipulate the Draft for political means. You might be asking why Stern wouldn't go for Boston, the league's most decorated team and still at their peak in the mid '80s. The reason is that Boston's ownership had been a rotating door; from '78 when Stern first joined the NBA until he took over in '84, seven different men had majority ownership claims for the Celtics. There was no point in getting Boston in your corner when the person you were buttering up might not be the same person at the next owner's meeting. To date no one has owned the Celtics for more than 14 years, current ownership is at 12 and counting. There's plenty more to say, but Stern saw early on that Owners squabbles always boiled down to money, with the little guys wanting more and the big guys not wanting to share it. If Stern could ally with the big moneymakers but convince them to share, everyone could win. And so was the story of David Stern's NBA. Sorry this is pretty sleaze-free, Stern kept his nose clean when it came to that TMZ stuff. But when it comes to power, man's a modern-day emperor. That's where the stories are.
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Feb 2, 2014 08:22
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I would read a Koop book.
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Feb 2, 2014 19:26
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C. Everett Koop posted:Sorry this is pretty sleaze-free, Stern kept his nose clean when it came to that TMZ stuff. But when it comes to power, man's a modern-day emperor. That's where the stories are. Those stories are more interesting to me. I'd love to hear how Stern simultaneously strong-armed some of the richest men on the planet alongside some of the most physically talented. Far more interesting than who slept with whom.
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Feb 2, 2014 19:52
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