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Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


It's Candy Box.

It's a website:

http://candies.aniwey.net

It's a game.

A game about acquiring candy. It's got ASCII-text graphics and ZOMG I CAN'T SAY MORE ABOUT IT WITHOUT SPOILING IT!

Trust me when I say it's the greatest thing ever and Kotaku recently did a positive write-up on it. Don't read that write-up though, it's got spoilers. Just play the game. Play the loving game. The true joy in this game lies in discovering things for yourself. Most people describe the game as "addicting."

The game starts simply enough, but wondrous magical secrets and epic quests await a savvy player... I'll give you one hint to start - you shouldn't throw candy on the ground, or should you?... mwa ha ha!

Since this is SA , and you guys furiously jerk it to the thought of being being given the opportunity to be snarky and sarcastic in a thread regardless of whether or not it deserves it, and derailing threads with sarcastic remarks instead of simply ignoring threads that don't interest you, I know you'll probably have all sorts of oh-so-witty comments lined up about how this game only lets you eat candy and throw it on the ground, and how gay and lame it is. Keep at it, there's a lot more going on here than meets the eye.

Others might be tempted to think we're all pulling your leg talking about fantastical things like upgrading your magic sword, buying magic scrolls, visiting the lollipop farm, answering the riddles the magic frog asks you, visiting the sorceress, fighting your way into the castle, dodging the fireball that the bird/dragon(?) launches outside the castle entrance, getting past the necromancer on the castle stairs, getting into the castle and slaying the dragon, and so on. We're not. Keep at it. Keep the game running for 10 minutes while you go do something else, or better yet, leave it running while you go to work or while you're asleep at night.

SPOILER EVERYTHING IN THIS THREAD. DON'T RUIN IT FOR OTHERS.

And when you do get to the sorceress, pick any other option than "more candy." it's one of the only truly bad options in this game.

If you're one of those game players that doesn't care about spoilers or just wants a walkthrough, then I'll give you a second hint and tell you don't plant more than 17,500 lollipops at the lollipop farm.

Come discover this game for the first time, or share what you know, and share your experiences playing this very unique game.

JUST REMEMBER, SPOILER EVERYTHING IN THIS THREAD. DON'T RUIN IT FOR OTHERS. YOU BIG JERK.

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Mega64
May 23, 2008



None of that interests me. No, I'm a conservative investor, and I'll just accumulate candy forever. I don't need to eat it or spend it, that would just be silly and wasteful.

No, I'm perfectly content watching this counter slowly go up.

e: This wouldn't happen to be your game, would it?

e2: Came for the candy, stayed for the OP meltdowns.

Brimstone Inquiry
Jan 21, 2007
Tonight....... you.

I've played this game to the end some time ago and am now on hard mode. To achieve victory at the end was... gah.

But it was done, and I am sated.

bomblol
Jul 17, 2009

my first crapatar


Mega64 posted:

None of that interests me. No, I'm a conservative investor, and I'll just accumulate candy forever. I don't need to eat it or spend it, that would just be silly and wasteful.

No, I'm perfectly content watching this counter slowly go up.

e: This wouldn't happen to be your game, would it?

I don't know if it is, but Candy box is pretty popular among some indie game circles right now. I've been "addicted" to it for the past 24 hours, if tabbing back into it every 30 minutes while I do other things on the computer is considered addiction.
Most people draw comparisons to Frog Fractions, which is apt, but even that kind of spoils it. In fact, I can barely see the use in talking about it in a thread because everyone will be at different levels of having their mind blown and it's inevitably just going to ruin it, to some degree.
I'm currently at the stage where I'm battling the dragon and at this point it's pretty much just 'grinding' to upgrade my badass summoning sword a few more times but I also know that using the seed, teleport potion, invincibility potion, and major health potions that it could also be accomplished, but it's kind of difficult to do that. It happens really quickly.

Taeke
Feb 2, 2010


Mega64 posted:

e: This wouldn't happen to be your game, would it?

I don't think so. It's been heavily discussed in the PYF Flash Game thread, and I've seen it being promoted on various other websites and blogs as well.

People just seem to get really hyped by this game and want to promote it for some reason.
Maybe because it combines the addicting aspects of many of those casual facebookish games (without having to spend money or annoy your friends) with some solid rpg mechanics that are literally decades old?

e:
I do find it odd that the OP apparently registered today to promote this average at best game.

Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


Mega64 posted:

None of that interests me. No, I'm a conservative investor, and I'll just accumulate candy forever. I don't need to eat it or spend it, that would just be silly and wasteful.

No, I'm perfectly content watching this counter slowly go up.

You have a perfectly valid strategy, but eating candy could be rewarding to the candy-savvy investor as well...

Mega64 posted:

e: This wouldn't happen to be your game, would it?

No.

Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


Brimstone Inquiry posted:

I've played this game to the end some time ago and am now on hard mode. To achieve victory at the end was... gah.

But it was done, and I am sated.

Okay, I have to ask, using the "multiply lollipops by 8" is the best option at the wishing well, right? isn't it? When's the best time to use it? Everyone says "when you have a few million lollipops," but when is that, exactly? How many is enough?

I'm the type of player that just wants to brute force everything, and I don't want to gently caress around with potions and seeds and poo poo.

the mattness
Oct 11, 2005
Why does it hurt when I pee?

As someone who has now spent 3 days on what is essentially a notepad version of a WoW demo circa 1997, I am advising you not to start playing this game.

Lucy Heartfilia
May 31, 2012

мне нравится аниме


OP is not a funny guy. The game is pretty good though. Give it a try!

Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


bomblol posted:

I'm currently at the stage where I'm battling the dragon and at this point it's pretty much just 'grinding' to upgrade my badass summoning sword a few more times but I also know that using the seed, teleport potion, invincibility potion, and major health potions that it could also be accomplished, but it's kind of difficult to do that. It happens really quickly.

I'm stuck on the dragon too.

Taeke posted:

e:
I do find it odd that the OP apparently registered today to promote this average at best game.

"Average at best?" "Average at best?!" Clearly, my friend, you have not eaten enough candy.

Have you even talked to the magic frog yet? I bet you haven't! I bid you good day, sir!

the mattness posted:

As someone who has now spent 3 days on what is essentially a notepad version of a WoW demo circa 1997, I am advising you not to start playing this game.

Bwa ha ha, the candy merchant has snared another one... How many more will fall into his sticky clutches...

fatman1683
Jan 8, 2004
.

To get past the dragon:

Once you get the cauldron, make 5 invincibility potions and buy 10 teleport scrolls from the candy dealer. Use the potions during the fight, and use the teleport scrolls during their cooldown. You should find that the timing works out precisely, and you shouldn't get hit at all.

Brimstone Inquiry
Jan 21, 2007
Tonight....... you.

Bath Salts Zombie posted:

Okay, I have to ask, using the "multiply lollipops by 8" is the best option at the wishing well, right? isn't it? When's the best time to use it? Everyone says "when you have a few million lollipops," but when is that, exactly? How many is enough?

I'm the type of player that just wants to brute force everything, and I don't want to gently caress around with potions and seeds and poo poo.

Aw man, the number of lollipops is relative; the sorceress will still make short work of your stock, but yes, that seems to be the best option.

And you'd best start getting ready to use seeds and potions, because the later areas are impossible without them.

Tea Party Crasher
Sep 3, 2012

Ooga booga, where's all the honey at?


I'm at the part where I'm wasting all my time.

Atimo
Feb 21, 2007
Lurking since '03

Don't want to wait all day for candies?

Open your javascript console and run this:

candies.candiesPerSecond = 1000

Kgummy
Aug 14, 2009


Does anyone have a list of all the different swords you can get/what they do?

Atoramos
Aug 31, 2003

Jim's now a Blind Cave Salamander!


Yea the entire game is written in JavaScript so it's a fun learn-to-hack tool.

The files show that there should be a sword of randomness and a sword of Liflamsummoning. Anyone know how to get either of these swords? I see nothing in forge.js to trigger those enchantments

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008
I like bread

I cheated the hell out of candies and lollipops but the castle entrance has me stumped. I have several billion HP but I keep getting teleported to the start by some asterisk shot by something on the roof.

Kgummy
Aug 14, 2009


Atoramos posted:

Yea the entire game is written in JavaScript so it's a fun learn-to-hack tool.

The files show that there should be a sword of randomness and a sword of Liflamsummoning. Anyone know how to get either of these swords? I see nothing in forge.js to trigger those enchantments
Well, based on what it looks like, the Liflamsummoning looks like life, flame and summoning. It also appears in the computer.js, under bug 3.

Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


Tea Party Crasher posted:

I'm at the part where I'm wasting all my time.

So in other words, the entire game, lol.

Atimo posted:

Don't want to wait all day for candies?

Open your javascript console and run this:

candies.candiesPerSecond = 1000


Oh you gently caress. I should have known, from a forum of misanthropic goons that can't hack it in the real world, so they hide behind their computer monitors, and have to cheat at a simple game about candy. I'm not mad son, just disappointed in you.

Pochoclo posted:

I cheated the hell out of candies and lollipops but the [spoiler]castle entrance[/spoiled] has me stumped. I have several billion HP but I keep getting teleported to the start by some asterisk shot by something on the roof.

Ha ha, cheaters never prosper! Try playing the game the way the game is meant to be played. And yes, you can brute force it without spells if your HP and sword damage are high enough.

Kgummy
Aug 14, 2009


Found something amazing. Did a get me out of here potion a few times, and I got to the cow level. Got a horn of plenty. "The horn of plenty, stolen from Ploutos by the cow king, who thought it was a real horn. This mythical object will multiply by three your lollipop farm production."

Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


Kgummy posted:

Found something amazing. Did a get me out of here potion a few times, and I got to the cow level. Got a horn of plenty. "The horn of plenty, stolen from Ploutos by the cow king, who thought it was a real horn. This mythical object will multiply by three your lollipop farm production."

This is indeed awesome, and, from what I understand, a rare drop.

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013


I impressed myself by getting 4 of the 5 frog questions right on the first try.

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008
I like bread

Bath Salts Zombie posted:

Ha ha, cheaters never prosper.

Ain't you so smart and edgy. Like I just couldn't keep setting castleEntrance.thereIsAMagicBall to false. Just didn't feel like diving into the code, and I thought it was a legitimate bug.

Nice game, by the way (it's obviously yours). If you lived here I'd hire you, we've been looking for a decent js dev for a while now.

Taeke
Feb 2, 2010


Bath Salts Zombie posted:

"Average at best?" "Average at best?!" Clearly, my friend, you have not eaten enough candy.

Have you even talked to the magic frog yet? I bet you haven't! I bid you good day, sir!

I have, actually, and only when he asks you literally type out what he says took me maybe 5 minutes to work out.

Look, I'm not saying it's bad, or that it isn't worth checking out and enjoying for bit, it's just one of those games that you play for a day or two and then get bored of. Average.

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

WHATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER?!


Holy gently caress guys, you won't believe this but this is boring and stupid as gently caress.

Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


Taeke posted:

I have, actually, and only when he asks you literally type out what he says took me maybe 5 minutes to work out.

Look, I'm not saying it's bad, or that it isn't worth checking out and enjoying for bit, it's just one of those games that you play for a day or two and then get bored of. Average.

You have not even come close to unlocking the magical secrets this game has to offer. Have you even seen developer mode yet?

Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


Infidel Castro posted:

Holy gently caress guys, you won't believe this but this is boring and stupid as gently caress.

Holy gently caress guys, you won't believe this, but the Something Awful forums are filled with misanthropic neckbearded chucklefucks who think they're a lot funnier than they really are! They can't get a girlfriend, won't go to clubs or get laid in the real world, so they retreat behind their computer monitors and dispense witty sarcastic commentary with no fear of reprisals!

Mega64
May 23, 2008



You're getting very defensive about people not liking a game that's not even yours. People aren't going to like the games you like, it's not a big deal.

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013


Bath Salts Zombie posted:

Holy gently caress guys, you won't believe this, but the Something Awful forums are filled with misanthropic neckbearded chucklefucks who think they're a lot funnier than they really are! They can't get a girlfriend, won't go to clubs or get laid in the real world, so they retreat behind their computer monitors and dispense witty sarcastic commentary with no fear of reprisals!
drat son!

tjones
May 13, 2005


I've played this game more than I should over the past week. Here are a few starter tips/tricks if you don't mind spoilers:

1. Click on the merchants hat. Do it a few more times. Read the messages below him while you do it.
2. Click on the top of the lollipop that the merchant will sell you. Do it a few more times. Read the messages below him while you do it.
3. The summon/fire swords seem to me to be the best option as the health sword must be leveled up a lot to be worth while. You can only convert your sword once.
4. Make seeds to plant trees to help your potions cool down without blowing through teleport scrolls.
5. With regards to the more time sensitive potions and dealing with late-game enemies, there is a counter below your potion/scroll buttons that you can keep an eye on so you don't mistime any of your clicks.
6. Although it may be tempting, don't use your wish until the very end (and farm lollipops/convert candies for a while before you use it). You can unlock some neat easter egg options if you have an insane number of lollipops.

Also in reply to the OP: The more candies option can be very useful. Once you buy it from the sorcerer a few times, she'll exchange 300k lollipops for 300k candies. This can help when you need candies in the late game.

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008
I like bread

Haha wow. I take that hiring thing back. You must be seriously insufferable to work with. Dude you just made some silly javascript game to fool around, don't expect people to worship it as if it was made of solid gold.

Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


Pochoclo posted:

Haha wow. I take that hiring thing back. You must be seriously insufferable to work with. Dude you just made some silly javascript game to fool around, don't expect people to worship it as if it was made of solid gold.

IT ISN'T MY GAME. But feel free to be a typical goon, spouting off about poo poo you know nothing about, derailing a cool thread.

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013


Bath Salts Zombie posted:

IT ISN'T MY GAME. But feel free to be a typical goon, spouting off about poo poo you know nothing about, derailing a cool thread.
You're a goon.

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

Jinkies!


The last time someone called me a virgin neckbeard loser after I told them I didn't like a video game was never, but maybe in some alternate reality in some sort of bizarro junior high it might happen.

SqueePower
May 24, 2006
tube


Bath Salts Zombie posted:

Holy gently caress guys, you won't believe this, but the Something Awful forums are filled with misanthropic neckbearded chucklefucks who think they're a lot funnier than they really are! They can't get a girlfriend, won't go to clubs or get laid in the real world, so they retreat behind their computer monitors and dispense witty sarcastic commentary with no fear of reprisals!

Wow.... owned....

Never thought I'd say it but this guy is right.

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

WHATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER?!


Bath Salts Zombie posted:

IT ISN'T MY GAME. But feel free to be a typical goon, spouting off about poo poo you know nothing about, derailing a cool thread.

I almost wish it was your game, because that would make this incessant white-knighting understandable. As it is, you're acting like a petulant Nintendo fanboy manchild who has their fragile ego shattered when someone tells them that the newest Metroid game sucked poo poo.

Slipknot Hoagie
Jan 5, 2004



Really don't read this spoiler:
Is the joke that nothing happens and you literally watch a counter increment by 1 like those threads where people talk about plasma coil inductors for their fictitious space ships? Tap twice for yes, once for no.

Bath Salts Zombie
May 6, 2013

by toby


tjones posted:

I've played this game more than I should over the past week. Here are a few starter tips/tricks if you don't mind spoilers:

1. Click on the merchants hat. Do it a few more times. Read the messages below him while you do it.
2. Click on the top of the lollipop that the merchant will sell you. Do it a few more times. Read the messages below him while you do it.

HOLY CHRIST this would have been good to know when I first started playing. It's not in any of the walkthroughs.

tjones posted:

6. Although it may be tempting, don't use your wish until the very end (and farm lollipops/convert candies for a while before you use it). You can unlock some neat easter egg options if you have an insane number of lollipops.

How many should I have before I wish.

tjones posted:

Also in reply to the OP: The more candies option can be very useful. Once you buy it from the sorcerer a few times, she'll exchange 300k lollipops for 300k candies. This can help when you need candies in the late game.

Also, good to know

Atoramos
Aug 31, 2003

Jim's now a Blind Cave Salamander!


cumsitter posted:

Really don't read this spoiler:
Is the joke that nothing happens and you literally watch a counter increment by 1 like those threads where people talk about plasma coil inductors for their fictitious space ships? Tap twice for yes, once for no.

No, this isn't the joke. It's actually an alright waiting-game though, give it some time and you'll see more of the game appear. If you have firebug and even a slight interest in JavaScript you can hack the poo poo out of the game though, and that's where the real fun lies.

There's a lot of anger in this thread over a game I've seen floating around the internet the last couple of days. GBS was probably the wrong place for the thread, but I'll vouch that I heard of this game days ago and he's not advertising his own goods. If people like games of this type, I suggest Kingdom of Loathing which is this multiplied by infinity.

edit: This isn't GBS, was this in GBS? Anyways it's really not that bad of a game. Again, for those with a developer kit installed (hit F12 now to find out!) you can run JavaScript, just inspect the lollipops and candies variables (lollipops.nbrOwned = 99999999 for example).


edit edit:

Bath Salts Zombie posted:

Check my reg date. And yeah, I am, but I had to think long and heard before deciding to rejoin you losers.

Bath Salts is an rear end in a top hat and it's unfortunate this game got this thread.

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Ginger Wank Wizard
Oct 27, 2010


cumsitter posted:

Really don't read this spoiler:
Is the joke that nothing happens and you literally watch a counter increment by 1 like those threads where people talk about plasma coil inductors for their fictitious space ships? Tap twice for yes, once for no.

Leave it open in another tab for a few minutes. Things happen, it just honestly isn't that exciting.

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