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Interesting how the AI lords are still kind of falling over themselves to give you stuff. Taking out those Dremer must have been really impressive.
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Nov 4, 2013 09:11
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Glazius posted:Interesting how the AI lords are still kind of falling over themselves to give you stuff. Taking out those Dremer must have been really impressive. They fall over themselves being cooperative one turn, then declare war the next, even if they have no chance of winning or don't even know where your cities are. Probably very trusting you'll stick to pact, but paranoid you'll attack them if you don't make a pact. Tactically it is mostly competent, but too obsessed with destroying towers, it will happily ignore much nastier units to attack and throw spells at a tower plinking at it for 2 damage.
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Nov 4, 2013 10:37
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Your writing style is quite impressive, I don't know where you get the creativity to write all these small stories and jokes. So we have a mission from Dauros. If we do it he will like us more, do we get anything from him liking us? And is it still like in Majesty, where you could not have temples to Helia and Lunord, or Agrela and Krypta at the same time?
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Nov 4, 2013 11:53
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Torrannor posted:Your writing style is quite impressive, I don't know where you get the creativity to write all these small stories and jokes. Thank you for the praise! As for the temples... well, Bad Things can happen if you fall on the really bad side of a god, but in general, build whatever temples you want! Or whicever give you the best units. For example, Grum-Gog is basically useless. Pyromancer posted:They fall over themselves being cooperative one turn, then declare war the next, even if they have no chance of winning or don't even know where your cities are. Probably very trusting you'll stick to pact, but paranoid you'll attack them if you don't make a pact. On my difficulty level (Normal), AI is mostly retarded,I think. How else would the elves have lost two cities to the monsters? And diplomacy was never the strong suit of the game. Also, if anyone's interested, I writing a series of articles about The Perfect Hypothetical 4X game. It has two parts and teeny tiny bit of good art. Might help pass the time till next update!
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Nov 4, 2013 15:57
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Glazius posted:Interesting how the AI lords are still kind of falling over themselves to give you stuff. Taking out those Dremer must have been really impressive. Well, the only other gate just exploded! As it goes, I claim all the gates kills to have happened until now. So yeah, I'm impressive!
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Nov 4, 2013 15:59
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In addition to my general laziness, my laptop started giving VIDEO_TDR_FAILURE which, amusingly enough, let me finish the entirety of XCOM: Enemy Within (with infrequent "You're running out of memory" messages, but BSoDs after 1-2 turns of Warlock. Strangest thing is that apparently I can play Warfare and this brings me delusions of video LP (not gonna happen). Anyways, here's a small update, hopefully I'll find a computer repairman who speaks gaijin enough to understand my woes and fix my poo poo. Lesson learned: "gaming" laptops, never again. Chapter 5.1: Even The Smallest Of News The last beastmaster fell, strength of his divine patron leaking out of his many wounds. He tried to raise hand and curse the city that killed him, but only a rasping “yiff” escaped his lips before his spirit departed for the Great Hunting Lands.  YOU HAVE DONE WELL LITTLE LICH. SMITING UNBELIEVERS AND ENEMIES OF ORDER GIVES YOU ANOTHER DAY Dauros' booming voice cought King Lich V by surprise and he nearly lost his jaw . I CONICIDER YOUR QUEST FULFILLED. HERE ARE YOUR JUST REWARDS. As soon as the roaring of voice of Order personified subsided, Lich saw before him a pile of gold and, on top of it, a scroll detailing “Longuard's Magical Shield Of Protection”. Said mage researched and cast this spell to protect his wife: for he was a man who liked shapelier women and his wife bosom could only be described a “heaving” before veering into territory of geographical terms. Thus many old and nearsighted witch tried to give her the evil eye, aiming to spoil the milk “of the biggest biggest udder their eyes had ever seen”. Loving husband that he was, the wizard had no other choice...  M'lord!” exclaimed Avgustus with a certain hint of pride in his voice. “you call and your loyal werewolf servants answer! Witness as we raise the second unit of our young! These are the purest of blood, sharpest of teeth, the quickest of claw! M'lord, we entrust you with the best of our sons, brothers, cousins and nephews! Take them and use them well” The lich nodded with approval and turned to face the lined up you werewolves “My Warriors! Go forth into the untaimed land and may peace follow you as the foe is struck with awe as I am now struck with pride to have such soldiers under my banners!” And so the the unit of werewolves joined the army of King Lich V.   Rrat prince Snoop Jim-s was, however, far away from the revelry and fainting werewolf damzels that accompanied the new troop. He and his retinue were too busy outflanking a band of skeletons that had taken positions near some spider nests. “Yo, homie o' ma lev'l shouldda neva get t' fight inna place like dis. Fuckin' skeletons inna god-drat spidah nest, dat poo poo ain't natural”.  “Squeeky-G, you jive pheasant how'd ya manage to git stuck up dere?” “Squeak! 'Tis not me foult, me prince! I was just smashin' spider eggs like you said and saw some gold up here in these webs. Please let me out!” “Gold, ya say? Dis needs investigatin. Yo, Fat Tail Ratso, git Two-Nose an get Squeeky-G outta dere, then check fo' gold!”  But while rats were pillaging spider nests, more important things were happening to the east. After a relentless barrage of life magic, the Fire Elemental was cut down to size and dislodged from its defensive position. Werewolves, sensing their chance, leaped through the ancient temple ruins and, disregarding the quiet whispers of the divine in their ears, ran after their smoldering prey. And so in the plains between the temple ground and the foot of the mountain did the man-wolves run down the alien elemental. Its fiery fury lashed out against the attackers, but they were not dismayed and charged through the fire, regrowing charred flesh almost at the blink of an eye. A leap and a strike and claws meant to rend spirit as much as flesh cleave through silicate being like it was was butter. Pack leader Trailstalker leaps onto the elemental's chest, digs his claws deep into its mass and rips out the monster's face. The day is won.  Melchior almost tripped over himself as he hurried to unfurl a map before King Lich. “My lord, with the reports of elemental being banished, we can truly begin our expansion into the Wild Lands. If you so please, some of my fellow scholars and better educates werewolves made this plan so that we could advise you on the most prudent action”. Lich turned his ghastly eyes to the parchment. “This might be the colorful map that I have ever see. So some of your 'fellow scholars' include children” “Oh? What, this? No, my lord, this is an example of how scarcity and need combined can yield great results. You see, having a lot of quality ink is never easy in goblins filled with goblins. Having ink of the same color is harder. But then we had an idea: what if we used the different colors to mark different objects on the map?” “Hmmm, an interesting idea. Carry on” “Ah, well, my lord, look at these red hexes. They mark the potential sites where we should establish more cities. Most of it easy to explain. You see, the yellow circles and arrows mark resources and which city would get them, so it's pretty obvious. But we have difficulty deciding how to best use the temple grounds. It's a very, shall we say, fertile region, with an iron vein, a dwarven settlement and a ruin being in close proximity. Trouble is, that putting the city closer to the temple grounds might make it easier to get a temple of our own, but that would leave other resources out of reach. And the ruins could be swallowed up by the Gold of the Lich real soon”. “This is an imoportant matter to be sure, but our settler caravans haven't left their home cities yet. Leave it for later and tell me about the other markings”. “Ah, well, sir, the green arrows shows the probably route of attack for the werewolves. With the healer's support they should be able to run over the two former elven cities with ease. Then I suppose they could turn to the west and destroy any monsters that wander the coast. I think it would be prudent to task the new werewolf company to join them”. “And the pink?” “That's Khargem, Snoop Jim-s and the sole surviving company of goblin archers. They are currently in pursuit of an ogre and scouting reports a town in their direction. If they can't take it, they should at least scout it out for us”. “This seems like a reasonable plan. Carry on, then! I'm begging to be very glad that I didn't explode you with a shadowbolt”. Color drained from Melchior's face “P-p-pardon me?” “Oh, it's not a big deal. It's just that you weren't the first scholar to come. Only you proved to have useful skills. Your predecessors wanted me to institute marriage between man-goblin and man-goblin. Their bits took some time to clean up”.  Of course, the wilds weren't totally free of monsters – yet – nor is any place in Ardania ever truly safe from various horrible natural or supernatural critters. But it didn't matter for Snoop Jim-s as he was making slow circles around an ogre. Many a goblin arrow had been stuck in the giant's flesh, but the oaf didn't seem too perturbed by it. For Snoop Jim-s, the hardest part was that the fight took place in a pumpkin patch and he kept slipping on the blasted things. By the time the ogre had been forced to retreat by savage bites and mighty blows, the prince was covered in orange pumpkin pulp.  In the mean time, orders arrived by magic pigeon and werewolves broke camp to set out for the now-monster controlled town of Gnomewall. Surely it's monstrous inhabitants will be happy to finally belong to a real monster kingdom and to forget the woeful days of uncertainty that independence gives.  Bits of burning giant spider carapace were gently falling into the coastal waters. The intensive bombardment had finally paid off! “All right, men, set course east! We sail now!” bellowed captain Duckwinson. “Wot about dem spider ova dere?” asked first maste Gruffstone. “Forget them. If we tarry any longer, our liege might think to use US for target practice”.  And way back in the west, a young, undisciplined pack of werewolves finally tore out the ogre's throat. Even while they celebrated victory, the hungry eyes of a dead king gazed at their realm and longed to take them by force.
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Dec 15, 2013 07:51
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"Good" to see that the LP curse is still in force.  Nice that you were finally able to kill that elemental. That should give us plenty of space to settle. I am really curious what you can do with the holy grounds once you found a city there.
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Dec 15, 2013 16:53
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It is a little hilarious seeing a lich and his goblin army settling down in holy grounds. I suppose it's the same bonus for them as it is for everyone else?
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Dec 29, 2013 19:57
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The gods are pretty open-minded in Ardania. While humans have the most options (can build temples to seven of the eight gods) the other races get access to four gods each, and the only difference apart from availability is the type of units you get from the temples.
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Dec 29, 2013 20:40
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Tehan posted:The gods are pretty open-minded in Ardania. While humans have the most options (can build temples to seven of the eight gods) the other races get access to four gods each, and the only difference apart from availability is the type of units you get from the temples. Wolves of Hellia rule.
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Dec 30, 2013 04:02
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If I'm not mistaken, the VIDEO_TDR BsoD can be dodged by turning down particle related options in older games. Probably. I turned down shadows, clouds, water, effects and... well, see if you can spot difference. Good look with that! Chapter 5.2: Hateful Universe  With the matters in the Near West somewhat settled, King Lich V finally had time to lean back with a good book. Or a scroll. „Pendulum's Dark Swing Or The Projection of Deathly Shadow Powers And Their Use In Acquiring The Admiration Of Pale Morbid Wenches“. While King didn't have much use for wenches – having no flesh on one's bones will turn one's interest in women into a purely academical or, in freak cases, platonic thing – he was a great fan of using death magic. Especially since it was very useful in killing the living, which comprised the biggest part of the world's population, which also fed the groups that hated necromancers. Shadow Bolt would help deal with them and look stylish at the same time.  The King's joy with a new tool to smite goblins (and people who generally weren't his subjects, too) had little impact on the expedition on the west coast. Specifically, the Rrat prince had run into some minor werewolf nobility, which was of little concern by itself and even of lesser concern when backed with archers. „Away with you, you rat peasant! We the werewolf szlachta rule here! We have convened in our Sejm and voted not to have any king rule over us or infringe on our noble rights!“ „Whoa, who you callin' peasant, busta? I'z Snoop-Jims, da Rrat-Prince 'n' I ain't gonna be disrespected by yokel“ „Yokel?! I'm no yokel! You will address me as Sir Brother Furrishch Wokowski! My forefathers ruled Sarmatia („Whisker-O, ever heard o' dat?“ „Just a fable for the academics, my prince“) and voted – voted – to go and take these lands! We szlachta rule here, away from kings or any sort of strangling central government...“ „Quit yo jibba-jabba. Yo little punks rear end hood iz gonna be incurporat'd into our kingdom. King L sez so and I bust caps in asses o' dose who dissent, know wut I'm sayan'?“ „Brute! I shall show you! I'll lead the levee en masse and drive you back!“ „What, dis sorry posse of posers?“ asked Snoop-Jims, pointing at the war camp full of rowdy, drunk, undisciplined weres „we gonna take you fast, tailz, and we gonna be sackin' yo town soon“.  The land was strewn with corpses of werewolves: whoever wasn't cut down by the deluge of goblin arrows, the rrat swords and teeth got them. Snoop-Jims didn't even bother looting the camp and so the grey host scurried to swarm beneath the walls of Bearling.  The path of the second werewolf company lead near Lichholm – but a gnome was barring their way! „Gnome, what's the meaning of this?“ snarled Crozius van de Paw, the lead wolf of the vanguard. „We're on official crown business, away with you!“ „Yes, yes, kind sir wolves, but I have something to share with you! You see, I'm but a lowly armor smith, but even we have ambitions! I wanted to improve armor of our noble troops, so that they could defend the realm better. I tried changing the straps, curving the armor, reducing decoration to increase thickness... everything! But it didn't help. That is, until one day I accidentally drank some of the pure used for leather and I had an epiphany!“ „So, what did this vision entail?“ „Why, I came up with the brilliant idea to add armor to the back, too!“   With gnome out of the way, the werewolves marched on to encircle Gnomewall which, by the intelligence report from goblins tied to really strong pigeons, was defended by an Ogre and simple militia that could be found in any town.  Now that was a sight. A diplomatic procession of goblins was a thing as laughable as impossible. Most monster rulers tried to send, at the very least, gnomes and those didn't even have gnomes to spare were most likely rulers in a sense that they „ruled“ a dung hut or particulary large cesspit outside a real monster city. Yet here they were, trying to appear important in their shoddily made tunics and holding misshapen, dirty pieces of parchment. The largest of them cleared his throat, spewed out a glob of phleghm and announced „Hear ye all, our lord Ash-Haar the Wisest, First of Goblins, Biggest of Goblins, Mouth That Swallows the World, The Green Wizard, proclaims greeting to Litch King V! What say you?“ „There's no 't' in 'lich'“  There might not be a 't' in 'lich', but smelly goblin militia was still in Bearling. Snoop-Jims led the assault on the walls: it might have gone quicker if giant walking rats had not deemed eating through the walls to be beneath them. So, in the mean time, they scurried along the wall, throwing stones and knocking out the occasional goblins, and dreaming of day when some smith would make bows that had a handle and could be fired with one hand, preferably sideways.  However, they only had regular goblin bows and regular goblin archers. After they had fired enough arrows to hit the town (and some defenders) by saturation, it was Khargem's turn to show real skill in archery. The Bow spoke once more: “I am power. Use me” whispered the weapon and slid into his hand. Khargem notched an arrow and cast his spirit outward. The town wasn't exactly ripe with targets – goblins were ruled by the biggest and smelliest of their rank and there wasn't one warchief whose death would cause immediate rout. There was, however, a cesspit, probably used by the late szlachta. Khargem loosed the arrow and it arked over Bearling's walls. And while it coursed through the air, the goblin marksmen filled it with all the anger and fury and disdain that a goblin felt to his lesser brethren. When the arrow hit cesspit, the hatred burst outwards. For a moment, there was a pillar of sevage meters high. And then it started to rain down upon Bearling, a fetid rain of scalding manure. Militia fell of the wall as dung burned off their faces and many a poor sod on the street level was boiled alive in the wave of searing poo poo that washed down the streets. The Bow was satisfied with the sacrifice.  Happyness, however, was not to be found in Gnomewall. The once independent town had been conquered by genocidal elves, than taken over by rowdy independent monster. But today, werewolves rappidly approached it's walls, formed living pyramids to propel the best among their ranks over the parapet. There, they disemboweled stomachs, ripped arms, tore throats, snapped necks and showed militia off the wall until they opened the gates and the remaining forces poured in.  Gnomewall changed hands for the third time! Any trace of independent, elected government was snuffed out under the secret orders of the werewolf primarch.  Meanwhile, the fresh, young company of weres was engaging the ogre outside the city. The wolf men jumped on it, tore at his skins and ripped out haunches of flesh. But the monster was very large and the fight dragged on...  “Golddale Duck” was, however, quickly avoiding a fight. “Bile, I wasted too much time firing on those spiders” remarked captain Duckwinson to his first mate” “Right you are, sur. I recon you don wanna to blow dem serpents up?” “No, lets just map the shore. If our lord sends an expedition here, they will be equipped to handle a few flying snakes” “Aye, aye, capt'n”  No sooner did the first mate open his flask of rum, than the first barrage of serpent fireballs reached the ship. “Damnation! Bill, see to the repairs and douse the flames! We will maintain our course and outrun these filthy animals”  But that was easier said than done. Swarms of serpents now flocked over the shores, each belching a small ball of fire. Splinters flew everywhere as they impacted the ship, the smell of burning wood and charred flesh hanging over it like a grim cloud. Captain Godwinson hid behind a mast and wondered how long would the repair take at the harbor.  Alas, even more flying snakes appeared and sent the “Golddale Duck” and her crew to its final port: at the bottom of the sea...  Yet these weren't the only lives taken by the sea. Thankfully, those that died later weren't the people under the yoke of King Lich V, so they mattered little. But the manner of the way some settlers from the Elven kingdom died was very troubling: a sea serpent appeared and with its scalding watery breath slew the whole caravan while it was still ashore. The sea, at least for the moment, was lost to the kingdoms of wizards.  And if the sea was a harsh mistress, the sky showed no mercy neither. A huge ball of fire, bigger than any fireball, screamed through the heavens and crashed into the frozen tundra near Gold of the Lich, obliterating everything around it on impact. “M'lord, I'm happy to report that we didn't lose anything. Mayhaps a few villages of the northern people went in flames as well as some wild goblin dwellings, but nobody of actual importance”.
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Jan 9, 2014 11:24
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Nooo! Not the Golddale Duck!  I sense a lizard extermination program in our future.Did that fireball create another Dremer gate?
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Jan 9, 2014 13:51
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Torrannor posted:Nooo! Not the Golddale Duck! Those serpents are living on borrowed time. The meteorite might be part of the whole endtimes thing, considering I've never seen one before (and got a pair of Dremer gate 'splosion messages even before that)
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Jan 9, 2014 15:07
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I think that's a high level spell actually.
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Jan 9, 2014 15:21
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Neruz posted:I think that's a high level spell actually. Nope, totally a naturally occurring meteorite. If you squint, you can see the orange-red announcement circle on the right. It didn't have a text screen to I didn't take a picture of it.
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Jan 10, 2014 05:03
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Huh, never seen that before. Odd.
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Jan 10, 2014 13:56
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Hmm. I don't remember flying snakes that shot fireballs from Majesty. Are they new for this game?
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Jan 18, 2014 17:53
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Glazius posted:Hmm. I don't remember flying snakes that shot fireballs from Majesty. Are they new for this game? Yes
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Jan 18, 2014 19:24
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Gosh darn it, folks, I have to finish this LP before they release Warlock 2, so I could be ready with a follow up once the three month term passes! For those who haven't seen it yet, here's a single player preview: http://www.twitch.tv/paradoxinteractive/c/3637108 On the other hand, my computer started crapping out even further the past days, so the future of this LP is quite uncertain. I still have a few more images for an update, tho! Chapter 5.3: Even Worse Tidings Mysterious flaming fireballs or no mysterious flaming fireballs, King Lich V had a realm to rule and the only way to strengthen his hold was to expand. And that required scouting, for losing settlers to random monsters was never a fun occurrence. And if there ever was an expendable scouting asset, summonable imps fit that role perfectly.  Too bad they got summoned near an ogre hideout. Well, King Lich V marked their location on map (even though it's hard to scribble down notes while half of your mind is engaged in keeping demons on a leash). Still, wanting to get most bang for mana, he decided against sending the imps to their certain deaths and turned them towards more prosperous and probably less dangerous lands.  Galarcarn was an elven city that monsters had taken over a while ago. Since it was now neutral, all grand mages considered the city to be free for all to take – after all, one can't really care about claims of „freethinking“ or „anarcho-naturalism“when he has an army of magically ehanced minotaurs. On the other hand, the demons felt strangely elated as their neared Galarcarn and that didn't bode well, because demons fed on misery. And lo, on the horizon, great fires lit the pillars of smoke rising over the city. Something was amiss.  It all became clear when an ogre's head, still whispering something about “free association”, landed near the imps. In distant Galarcarn, elven flags and gallows rose over the city walls – Amberon had retaken the dwelling and culled the resisting population. This was unpleasant, but bearable, and King Lich V decided to use the imps to finally get a sense of the overall outline of the continent.  But matters back at home required his immediate attention. Trumpets blared and pillars shook, and into his hall marched a procession of werewolves sent by Sol de Torvega. Their normal linen clothes and golden sun medallions were accompanied with strategically placed furs – after all, the north is awfully cold for southern weres! “Your majesty King Lich V! Our liege, Sol de Torvega, ruler of monster kingdoms by the will of Helia announces that, in light of recent alien invaders, he proposes a pact of alliance! Let no ill will mar the cooperation of the two realms and let their full powers be used to stop the terrible Dremmer who'd dim the light of Helia and sink the world into darkness!” “Does his majesty send something to sweet... I mean, to show his willingness and generosity?” To the diplomat's credit, his ears barely moved in confusion and he quickly gathered his wits, whispered something to his aide and, after some crowding from the Helians and sounds not unlike coins being dropped in a canvas bag, produced a silken pouch of gold. “Of course, you highness! This bag of gold contains a modest, symbolic sum, to show that Sol de Torvega both follows custom and knows better than to insult your majesty's honor by sending a bribe” King Lich chuckled, the action inaudible save for clanking of his jaw. “Very well, I accept his majesty's proposal!”  Also symbolic was the trading post built near the freshly liberated Gnomewall. Now, trade always happened in monster kingdoms, although it had a major impediment (besides the lack of any solid math skills): the main means of transportation were goblin women. Hardy, yet as stupid and immune to education as the males, they made for cheap if risky beasts of burden. While they required little food and upkeep, they were notoriously prone to wandering into swamps or jumping off the thin roads in mountain passes. This usually meant that about a third of all goods would not survive any sort of trade trip. Trading posts, on the other hand, employed the dire donkey, which gnomes could domesticate by putting a lump of turf on their heads, heading to donkey and then slowly walking away as the creature munched on the grass. Unfortunately, this meant that only bald gnomes could handle donkeys, as the dumb beasts had hard time distinguishing between turf-hat (a turfban if you will) and a gnome's hair. The fact that average gnome probably had something growing in his hair didn't help either. In any case, the citizens of Gnomewall could enjoy an increase in trade stability – that is, if anyone ever wanted to trade with a city surrounded by swamps and frozen mountains, and thus producing mostly misery and suicides.  Yet not all lands in the monster kingdom were dominated by doom and gloom (just the most of them). Citizens in Mealburn, distracted from worshiping strange interdimensional gods by a sea serpent strike on elven settlers, had an idea: what if we tried eating the monsters of the sea? I mean, sure, those were big and hard to kill, but at least they weren't haunted by queer energies that made pumpkin stalks sprout from one's wounds. And so did they build big, sturdy boats, put some gnarly speartips on straight-ish poles of the hardest wood they could find and set out to hunt the ultimate prey: sea monster young that are too small to properly defend themselves. That evening, everyone ate heartily and anyone who complained that is was morally wrong to go after the monsters' young, were driven out of the city. The exiles soon found out that moral superiority does nothing to contain horrible hunger pains.  “Khhhhhiiiing Liiiiich...” a voice not unlike hot desert breeze sounded in the undead Monarch's head. “What? Who's there?” “It is I... Heliaaa... The lady of the sun... aaaand the saaands” “Great, more gods!” “...siiilence, you impudent foool... My sssservants passsed through here.... aaand you caught my attention... Yyyyou will serve!” “drat it, what do you require?” “Ssssome scum of Lunord.... peeeeeople away from the light... hiiiding in shadowsss...running from the sssun” “Criminals or tax collectors?” “Assassins... kill them... and the power of the dessssert will be yoursss”  And thus, werewolves were dispatched, to go over the mountains and kill some heretic Assassins.   "The Father's welcome, Your Darkness. This moon we have accomplished two missions and, if relations between the Great Mages remain strained, we will receive three more next month. The neophytes are thus far performing well. Olephia did forget that she was no longer a thief, so I sent her to collect night dew for the ritual as a punishment. I do hope she will learn her lesson, for I see great potential in her. Lunord needs more servants like her." Source unknown Werewolves were stunned: they could usually smell humans (especially since many of them rarely washed themselves). Assassins didn't smell like anything and the weres had to basically march over the stealthy zealots. But before they could act...  King Lich V opened with the first strike, unleashing a death bolt! Assassins were scattered and wounded, but still in the fight, all thanks to their legendary training and endurance.  Meanwhile, Bearling was in the process of becoming the eastern most city in King Lich V's realm. Whatever defenders remained after torrents of somewhat crooked, a little blunt goblin arrows were over run once Snoop-Jims and his posse clambered over the walls. Quickly all the resistance was gone under a torrent of greyish bodies and audacious gold jewelry.  After looting the last rebelous person that had the gall to think he could live free of Wizard overlords, Khargem set out to the west, where lay a problem ideally suited to his skills. Flying serpents. While they were dangerous to those who couldn't shoot or, in great numbers, to certain wooden flagships named after certain water fowl, the serpents were no match to the power of a dedicated bowman. And Khargem was nothing if not a dedicated bowman. Soon, the sea started washing up myriads of flying serpent corpses, all pin-cushioned with arrows.   And even though more and more of the critters rose from their horrible nests, their fire breath was wasted on the heroic goblin who would soon knock them down from the air with well placed arrows!  Soon the beast were vanquished and their lair was scattered to the winds, their nests – broken, their eggs – scrambled and eaten with some roast cockroach.  At the same, the throat of the last Assassin found its way into a werewolve's jaws and all of the offending servants of Lunor were vanquished. “...goood...youuu have proven... proven to bee a fffaithful... ssservant. Youuu... haaave my blessings...a bit of my power...” “And this sack of gold really doesn't hurt” murmured King Lich V as Helia's presence retreated and he felt a phantom need to shake sand out of his ear.  Back where the corpses of the Assassins laid, Emerah had just received enough experience healing blunt trauma, poisoning and burns (remember the elemental!), that she had a writen a treatise on healing such wounds... in werewolves. For that she has been nominated to receive an award from the Wulfen Academy For Study of Body Humours and Phrenology, marking her as a Star of Medicine. To be fair, she didn't have much competition: goblins mostly ignored wounds (and no hostile organizms wanted to live in them anyways), gnomes would drink their troubles away, werewolves regenerated while Elves treated wounds via a process that could generously be called “post modern trigonometry”, whatever that meant.  Meanwhile, the imps were pushing deeper into the territory of the Elven realm until they came upon a discovery: live Dremer troops! They must have guarded a dremer gate that eventually exploded and now were left with nothing else to do.  However, this upset Amberon somewhat (probably because of the shame that someone saw the signs of his military weakness than the actual incursion) and an arrow flew through one of the windows in King's tower. After it was dislodged from a goblin, a scroll was discovered, stating that Amberon was canceling the alliance between the two kingdoms.  However, there was no time (or actual willingness) to mope about it Gold of the Lich finally completed the gold mine it was established to build. Many goblins worked and perished in the dreadful conditions under the mountain, suffocating, drowining in noxious alchemical purification concoctions, dieing in cave-ins... Fortunately, nobody seemed to care about it.  Back in the elven lands, the combined fire of the Galarcarn garrison and a two companies of archers finally managed to down the alien beasts.  And werewolves tore one of the ogres to pieces. Unfortunately, something really, really bad happened... 
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Feb 4, 2014 17:15
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Oooh, the plot thickens. Also, justice for the Golddale Duck! That preview looks nice, perhaps I will buy it. On the other hand I still have to finish several Crusader Kings 2 games, especially since the next expansion is not save game compatible! Paradox, never stop making good games please.
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Feb 4, 2014 17:38
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Torrannor posted:Oooh, the plot thickens. Also, justice for the Golddale Duck! Rajas of India are incompatible? I'm a bit sad that Randomerica is incompatible with CKII save imports, but it's not like I have those. but yes, go Paradox!
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Feb 4, 2014 18:23
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Glazius posted:Hmm. I don't remember flying snakes that shot fireballs from Majesty. Are they new for this game? Not Majesty, but Majesty 2. Utter assholes there. They's decently powerful, ranged, I recall them as Magic damage which no one really resists save Wizards who are frail, spawn fast, in groups, and killing the lair doesn't help as you then spawn a full group of 5. Not fun early. Then again, most things aren't fun early, especially in Majesty 2.
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Feb 4, 2014 21:50
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Torrannor posted:Oooh, the plot thickens. Also, justice for the Golddale Duck! I think our troops have a new battlecry. "Remember the Duck!"
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Feb 5, 2014 19:39
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Loving this casual goblin slaughter. They really are everyone's cannon fodder, aren't they?
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Feb 11, 2014 02:04
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You're not getting a lot of response from your updates, but I just wanted to say I'm really enjoying these updates 
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Mar 2, 2014 06:41
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Tithin Melias posted:You're not getting a lot of response from your updates, but I just wanted to say I'm really enjoying these updates It must be this kind of games, sadly. The ongoing Age of Wonders LP has few views as well.
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Mar 2, 2014 11:31
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Ooh, been missing this LP and looking forward to more! And to the next one when it's released! Thanks for pressing on with the great determination and willpower completely lacked by your goblin servants!
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Mar 2, 2014 12:27
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Torrannor posted:It must be this kind of games, sadly. The ongoing Age of Wonders LP has few views as well. That one actually started off with a lot and then just lost steam, I'm not sure why. I know I've got about a page or two to catch up on there too.
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Mar 2, 2014 23:59
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Tithin Melias posted:That one actually started off with a lot and then just lost steam, I'm not sure why. I know I've got about a page or two to catch up on there too. Thank you and the other guys! I have a few screenshots left over, but I don't know if they're enough for a "full update". And my computer is finally crapping out. Still, I'll try to cobble an update tomorrow (Thread locking dodging) and maybe finally send out my craptop for maintenance. So, next month would probably see a new patch of screens. And hey, I have to finish this before Warlock 2 comes out and becomes LP legal. Maybe I'll even be a good player by then... probably not.
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Mar 3, 2014 12:19
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I wish to say that this LP and a Steam sale were what made me decide to pick up this game (with DLC). Now I just need to get a graphics card worth using, so I can actually play it.
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Mar 3, 2014 13:32
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Sorry, lads, can't say when the next one would be - hopefully, I'll have my laptop fixed by then (only need to translate the instructions how to submit it!). I know that once-a-month updates are suboptimal, but that's just how I (sadly and slowly) roll. Enjoy! Chapter 6: Anchored To The End of the World  King Lich V was deeply troubled. The Dremer threatened to destroy the world, killing him in the process. And avoiding death was one of the major, if not THE motivation to become a lich in the first place. The truth of the matter was that King Lich V had to destroy all Dremer forever, untold goblin casualties be damned. He was in the middle of such musings when a polite cough interrupted his train of thought (how does one cross goblins and fireballs, anyways?). „Lucius? How did you get up my floating tower top?“ „I jumped. Being a werewolf has other perks than just being attractive to the ladies, m‘lord. My liege, your presents is requested downstairs. We have a visitor“. „A visitor“ was short selling in. In the throne room stood a pile of writhing pumpkin vines, with few intact pumpkin heads and a mostly overgrown goblin up top. Another one was gnawing on a wine while two werewolf guards tried to pry him off, saying something action unbefitting to a palace guard. „Hill o'Winn, I presume“ said King Lich, placing his cloth covered bone sternum on the throne (or „sitting down“, to use layman terms). „What happened to this subject of mine“ The goblin‘s mouth moved a voice came out, chilling everyone present to the bone (which was basically all that King had) „He‘s very faithful. And clumsy. Once we set out for the trip to the capital, he tripped on a rock. And just kept tumbling down, into rocks and whatnot, sometimes even at incline. It‘s a mystery, one that I have never encountered in all the countless eons of my life, but I did what I could to heal him. At one point, it became apparent that this“ goblin‘s hands gestured at the mass of vines „was the only way to bring him here alive“. „So, what made you come here in the first place“ „The Anchors, of course. You need a way to defeat the Dremer, do you not?“ „And do you have a suggestion how to do that?“ „Simple. Well, not really“ the goblin‘s smile, even with vines and baleful eldritch energies doing the best they can to make it look like on, was still very reminiscent of a puckered rear end in a top hat „You have to destroy a number of these Anchors. Then you‘ll be able to correct certain key stones and, by their magical vibrations, determine where there Dremers come from and send a force there“. As the envoy left, the King motioned the werewolf guards to let go of the goblin. The replacement wouldn‘t be hard to find anyways.   And so, while the great ruler pondered the destruction of the Anchors (Goblin catapults?), life continued on in the south east end of the continent. Khargem finally found the ogre hut and looted it, taking anything of value he could find, half-heartedly making GBS threads in the pillow (as a hero, he felt such actions, customary as they be, were beneath him) and the whole place ablaze. The Bow of Ash quietly hummed and waited for new victims, because magical weapons seemed to be single minded like that. The smoke of the burning hut slowly rose over the mountain, but the now-homeless ogres didn‘t see. They had other things in mind, like werewolves. Unlike most smaller things that they met, the weres dodged quite a lot of their hits, and even the ones they bashed didn‘t stay flat for long, which was a grave insult to what ogres perceived to be immutable laws of the world: ogre meet thing, ogre smash, thing remain flat. The wolves, however, were having a great time, dancing around the gargantuan creatures, slipping a claw here, a bite there. „Say, Hindrich, this is quite the sport! This is also my most favorite kind of buffet – it‘s so fresh, it‘s moving!“ „I know what you Beowuf. I imagine we could have quite a feast if they had the power to regrow flesh like we do!“ „Ogres? Regrowing flesh? Preposterous! What other fancy powers could they have? Burning up on death?“ „Or maybe very specific – oh, had to dodge one here – spots on their back that we would need to kill them?“ „Hah, surely you jest! That would make as much sense as them eating humans for fun“ „Beowuf, your endless mirth is bad for my shape! I almost got squished there!“ „Aye, but Heimlich did!“ „Guffaw!“  Up in the north, scryings, divinations and would be settlers shouting „Isn‘t that pillar of blood rising to the sky“ indicated, that the location of the first Dremer anchor had been uncovered. Unfortunately, that didn‘t give much information besides „remote“, „ugly“ and „taking place of a future city“. Some recon in force was in order.  And nothing is as expendable and easy to transport as summonable imps. Locking onto the emissions of a group of wild donkeys, King Lich V opened a group of micro rifts that discharged a number of imps. Their eyes were put to good use and the King got the information he wanted.  "The Evil Sorcerers Society (not to be confused with the Order of Black Mages) was founded soon after the creation of the Great Council to: Maintain the balance of forces, and create evil in an effort to reduce entropy." (From "The Overall Description of Everything" by Master Alfus Bumblegate) „What is the matter with these fools?“ King Lich threw his hands up in confusion „Evil? Entropy? What does evil have to do with anything?“ „Sire, they might be potent mages, but they are pretty stupid“ suggested Melchior „Ancient scrolls said that among the wizards there was a group that liked to brood, listen to grim minstrel songs, write dreadful poetry and claim that none of the conclaves invited them because „they couldn‘t understand their deep pain“. In the end, they declared that their evil was done for the good of the world and that they are the unsung heroes of Ardania“ „Any truth to that claim?“ „None whatsoever, m‘lord“. [img]]http://lpix.org/1616421/2014-01-10_00039.jpg[/img] Angst ridden or not, they were powerful and destroyed the imps easily. Luckily, nobody ever worried about imps dying, so that wasn‘t a big loss. Mana never stopped flowing, even if it meant that goblin children born near mana collectors were born with severe, painful deformities.  Yet there were other citizens than the highly expendable goblins. Humans, for one thing, showed to have some more uses that producing martyrs that would never be forgotten by the Navy of the Lich Kingdom. A Halberdier encampment near the newly liberated (from the shackles of free will and voter franchise) Bearling was transformed into a war university. The need for such institution was apparent after the Halberdiers sent a letter to the king detailing the myriad shortcomings of the goblin forces (small surprise, they were trained by goblins). The letter was so long, they had to flay five sheep to write and it took flock of pigeons to carry it. The King gave his approval to build the university and so it was established. Veteran halberdiers tough classes on slicing, piercing, crushing, collecting payment, looting, pillaging, whenching (the old king was very much against raping), looking good in a cuirasse, looking down on regular spearmen and beard grooming. Books upon books and treatises about killing people (and goblins) were written. Countless gallons of bear were drunk by the freshhalberdiers. A score of sorority girls had been bedded, oblivious to the fact that university doesn‘t really offer classes to women, and so setting the tone of knowing very little about your alma matter to countless sororities that would later spring up in Ardania. The early result of it all was a huge manual called „Stick it with the pointy end: Masters of War Upon the Finer Points Of Disembowelment, Decapitation and Maiming“, usually just called „Masters of War“.  Another, much different, but no less bloodthirsty institution sprang up in in the frozen wastes to the north. A bank was opened in Lichship Down and was run by the fattest of gnomes and grew rich on fourth hand mortgages on goblin housing (goblins understood the value of money only very dimly). The bank was created by the fishing magnate Angus Jaw, master metal trinket peddler Hieronymus Rust and mine owner Sheimus Lime. While the plaque in front of the immense building proclaimed „Jaw, Rust, Lime: Merchants and Bankers“, most goblins were really bad at pronunciation and called the place „Jawruslame“. This was not the only injustice that they brought on the poor goblins: soon, the clerks of the bank were known by their black clothing (it was white before they started doing rounds in dirty goblin settlements), hooked noses (goblins are stupid, violent creatures, prone to both attacking strangers and throwing random things and offspring through windows, breaking few noses) that grew meaty (from all the pollutants), curled hair in the front (the stank inside goblin huts could do that to anyone, that‘s why werewolves never visited poor neighborhoods) and bald spots that they tried to cover by close fitting hats (harder for goblins to steal and use as a night pot). Yet they persisted, dreaming of one day themselves becoming the masters of „Jawruslame“.  Imps, of course, never cared for such things. After repairing a beached ship, they left the elven realm to explore the seas, where they spotted a volcanic land that showed traces of Dremer infestation.  Snoop Jim-s was, unfortunately, a lot closer to the damned invaders. A magical attack by the evil sorcerers left quite a few of his number dead. „Yo, yo jive turkeys think you can mess wid me? I show ya who ya fukkin wid!“ howled the rrat prince while holding the lifeless paw of a favored hoodrrat.  Yet while death reigned in the north, life sprang forth in the south. A new settlement was built in the plain between an elven village (full of elven women) and minotaur caves (full of minotaur). An uneasy peace settled as the King promised to keep the elven women safe from possible depredations of minotaurs and the minotaurs safe from roaming bands of elven feminists. „M‘lord, might I inquire why did you elect to call it Dremo?“ asked Melchior. „Why, to mark our inevitable victory against the alien invaders!“  And Dremo‘s position was relatively safe at the time. The ogres had been whittled down to such level where King Lich saw it fit to relocate the werewolves to the anchor and left goblin archers to mop up. The last ogre tried to run into elven territory and maybe star a life of a revolutionary, much like his brothers before him.  Meanwhile, the Imps finally discovered the lands of Sol de Torvega. „Nice to finally see architecture that doesn‘t make my head hurt“ remarked the King.  Speaking about peoples with non-Euclidean outhouses... another arrow flew into the great hall in the capital and pierced another goblin. On it was the declaration that Amberon, the Elven king, had broken their Non-Aggression pact. Lucius had a suggestion as to why. „You see, m‘lord, having failed to court them themselves, elves are very angry when someone comes to friendly terms with elven women“.  Luckily, most other rules were far more reasonable!
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Mar 4, 2014 17:31
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Elves! Elven feminists! I take updates once a month in exchange for this great LP and the hopes that you will show us a bit of Warlock 2 as well.
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Mar 4, 2014 18:00
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Sweet, two new updates. Sorry to hear about the continued problems.
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Mar 4, 2014 19:16
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Torrannor posted:Elves! It's an odd bit of Lore here. The elven women came to Ardania circa Majesty 2-the men and women work for the King in shifts, and in Majesty 1, the men served. However, the females seemingly never came BACK to the Elven lands. Guess they liked it here. Since then, the males have seemingly gone Religious Maniac from their previous...call it decadence. No, I don't know why exactly.
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Mar 4, 2014 19:47
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You may want to fire your scribe again, your latest city is Dreno instead of Dremo.
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Mar 4, 2014 22:19
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I do like how the common enemy is actually game-mechanically bringing you together.
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Mar 5, 2014 01:14
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Bloodly posted:It's an odd bit of Lore here. The elven women came to Ardania circa Majesty 2-the men and women work for the King in shifts, and in Majesty 1, the men served. The males basically completely lost their poo poo when the females failed to return and poor old Amberon's mind broke under the stress; the Elves in-game are little more than crazed fanatics. I don't think the game ever explains what happened to the elven females either; they just up and vanished.
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Mar 5, 2014 05:03
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Neruz posted:The males basically completely lost their poo poo when the females failed to return and poor old Amberon's mind broke under the stress; the Elves in-game are little more than crazed fanatics. If you had to deal with Amberon, wouldn't you?
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Mar 5, 2014 09:42
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They're not 'gone'. They're all over Ardania. Why they never returned home in the first place is unclear. Like I said, maybe they just liked it here. They're portrayed as....call it 'flighty'. Of course, what little I've seen of Warlock 2 revealed more. Spoilers for safety's sake. Amberon's completely changed, now 'Amberon the Light'. Where there was anger and hate, now there's peace. Of course, it took being in the power of a Sauron-analogue that took over the world, and escaping, to do it. At least he now shares the personality of Glorfindel to go with the looks.
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Mar 22, 2014 13:05
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But Glorfindel has blond hair?! Is Warlock 2 out yet? I mean, Rajas of India comes out next week so I have no time for that game anyway (and Age of Wonders 3 release is April 1st!), but I will probably give it a go in a few months.
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Mar 22, 2014 13:13
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