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Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry

El Gallinero Gros posted:

IIRC, Drive was supposed to be a vehicle for Stallone and Chan.

Yes it was . Steve Wang also directed one of my favorite Us HK-Style parodies...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkgW62owQBU


Kung Fu Rascals...

Guest Starring Les Claypoole from Primus as the Sheriff of Ching Wa County!

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El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010

Humbug Scoolbus posted:

Yes it was . Steve Wang also directed one of my favorite Us HK-Style parodies...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkgW62owQBU


Kung Fu Rascals...

Guest Starring Les Claypoole from Primus as the Sheriff of Ching Wa County!

I sorta wish Stallone and Chan had gone through with it. I don't know if it would have been good, but it likely wouldn't have been boring.

Angry Lobster
May 16, 2011

Served with honor
and some clarified butter.
I stumbled on this while wasting my time on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxjRM9Ospto

Wheels on Meals, I wonder why I never watched or even heard about this movie, has someone seen it?

Angry Lobster fucked around with this message at 18:17 on Jun 22, 2014

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry
Oh god yes. One of the best Chan's. Benny the Jet is awesome and Sammo plays sleazy so well.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Also if you enjoyed the cartoon Ninja Turtles you'll get a kick out of any of the food truck scenes.

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010

Humbug Scoolbus posted:

Oh god yes. One of the best Chan's. Benny the Jet is awesome and Sammo plays sleazy so well.

Wheels on Meals has the crazy fight with Urquidez, right?

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010

El Gallinero Gros posted:

Wheels on Meals has the crazy fight with Urquidez, right?

One of the two. They rematch in "Dragons Forever"

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010

Snowman_McK posted:

One of the two. They rematch in "Dragons Forever"

Is Dragons Forever the one where Sammo is special needs?

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010

El Gallinero Gros posted:

Is Dragons Forever the one where Sammo is special needs?

No, that's "Heart of Dragon"
Or at least, it was in my local video store. That one ends with Chan fighting through a construction yard

Angry Lobster
May 16, 2011

Served with honor
and some clarified butter.
Just finished Wheels on Meals, it's amazing and also incredibly cheesy, I happen to know Barcelona pretty well and seeing it's locations on a Hong Kong Kung Fu movie was weird as hell. The final fight of Jackie Chan is pretty crazy, really entertaining movie :allears:

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry

Angry Lobster posted:

Just finished Wheels on Meals, it's amazing and also incredibly cheesy, I happen to know Barcelona pretty well and seeing it's locations on a Hong Kong Kung Fu movie was weird as hell. The final fight of Jackie Chan is pretty crazy, really entertaining movie :allears:

Told you :smuggo:

Mechafunkzilla
Sep 11, 2006

If you want a vision of the future...

El Gallinero Gros posted:

Is Dragons Forever the one where Sammo is special needs?

There are, like, at least 10 movies where Sammo Hung plays such a character :geno:

Oracle
Oct 9, 2004

El Gallinero Gros posted:


Is Dragons Forever the one where Sammo is special needs?

No, he's an arms dealer, and Jackie Chan is the world's least convincing lawyer. Also everyone is a kung fu master. EVERYONE.

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry
And it has some of the most painful looking falls I've ever seen a stunt team do. I am constantly amazed nobody broke their back during filming.

moller
Jan 10, 2007

Swan stole my music and framed me!

Humbug Scoolbus posted:

And it has some of the most painful looking falls I've ever seen a stunt team do. I am constantly amazed nobody broke their back during filming.

Yuen Biao? As I was talking about earlier in the thread, it seems like he had a chip on his shoulder in terms of taking falls. Also, in a Jackie/Sammo/Biao film the only stunt players are the anoymous mooks as I understand it. The stars (Stars?) are doing all of their own.

Edit: oh, there was this fall -



fuckin ow


Oracle posted:

No, he's an arms dealer, and Jackie Chan is the world's least convincing lawyer. Also everyone is a kung fu master. EVERYONE.

Doesn't Sammo's character suffer a concussion and become, uh, "special needs" though in the film?

moller fucked around with this message at 10:29 on Jun 26, 2014

CeeJee
Dec 4, 2001
Oven Wrangler

Oracle posted:

No, he's an arms dealer, and Jackie Chan is the world's least convincing lawyer. Also everyone is a kung fu master. EVERYONE.

Didn't Bolo Yeung play a lawyer in some movie as a bit part just to be something other then huge henchman ?

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010

CeeJee posted:

Didn't Bolo Yeung play a lawyer in some movie as a bit part just to be something other then huge henchman ?

I just imagined him in court, and during the "Please rise for the honorable judge (insert name here)", doing his "YOU!" point at the opposing counsel, then doing his pec dance thing.

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry

moller posted:

Edit: oh, there was this fall -



fuckin ow


That's the one!

G-III
Mar 4, 2001

If you ever wanted to know what it's like to watch a Voltron like creature be formed out of 6 women who are supposedly adult virgins, you can such an experience by watching "Holy Weapon" (1993).

Adult Female Virgin Human Voltron end fight scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH0jCmDWVYw
Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3xO4jufacE

I think I need to go to a doctor and get checked for permanent brain damage.

G-III fucked around with this message at 14:57 on Jul 31, 2014

Tenzarin
Jul 24, 2007
.
Taco Defender
There has been no talk of this classic.


Ninja Bachelor Party
A touching story of love, Robitussin addiction and Martial Arts.
It stars Bill Hicks, Kevin Booth, and David Johndrow. It was filmed throughout Austin, Texas, and Houston, Texas, over the course of ten years due to the producers not taking the project seriously. It showcases a good deal of the cliche fight scenes from kung fu movies.

davidHalestorm
Aug 5, 2009

G-III posted:

If you ever wanted to know what it's like to watch a Voltron like creature be formed out of 6 women who are supposedly adult virgins, you can such an experience by watching "Holy Weapon" (1993).

Adult Female Virgin Human Voltron end fight scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH0jCmDWVYw
Full Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3xO4jufacE

I think I need to go to a doctor and get checked for permanent brain damage.

Thank you! I've been looking for this movie since I caught the last 30 minutes of this movie on TV many years ago. Oh god, it is as insane as I remembered

BetterToRuleInHell
Jul 2, 2007

Touch my mask top
Get the chop chop
Gonna jump on the Jackie Chan bandwagon to mention the last fight between him and Bradley James Allen in Gorgeous. It's half fight/half comedy but it's probably my favorite Jackie Chan fight ever because of how fluid it is. The movement between the two are just mesmerizing. Also I love gentlemanly spars.

Bradley James Allen was part of Jackie Chan's stunt team for a while, and apparently is currently working on Ant Man. That's pretty cool.

Angry Lobster
May 16, 2011

Served with honor
and some clarified butter.
I've been on a crazy movie frenzy this last week, I've watched in rapid succession Dragons forever, Police history, Project A and Snake in the eagles shadow, among others.

Of all of this, Project A is in my opinion the best, it has a constant, frenetic pacing (without dropping in the middle of the movie), decent soundtrack, decent acting, Sammo and Yuen Biao being funny without being too much hammy or awkward (looking at you, Dragons Forever) and a not too bad plot. The action is really good, with an incredible stunt (that clock homage to Safety Last!) and the entire bicycle chase is really amusing. The only drawback is it doesn't have a memorable villain/fight like Benny Urquidez in Wheels on Meals/Dragons Forever.

Easily my new favorite Jackie Chan movie :allears:

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010

Angry Lobster posted:

I've been on a crazy movie frenzy this last week, I've watched in rapid succession Dragons forever, Police history, Project A and Snake in the eagles shadow, among others.

Of all of this, Project A is in my opinion the best, it has a constant, frenetic pacing (without dropping in the middle of the movie), decent soundtrack, decent acting, Sammo and Yuen Biao being funny without being too much hammy or awkward (looking at you, Dragons Forever) and a not too bad plot. The action is really good, with an incredible stunt (that clock homage to Safety Last!) and the entire bicycle chase is really amusing. The only drawback is it doesn't have a memorable villain/fight like Benny Urquidez in Wheels on Meals/Dragons Forever.

Easily my new favorite Jackie Chan movie :allears:

The sequel has a dumb, insanely confusing plot (I've seen it twice and still don't what it's about) but has some of his absolute best stunt sequences.

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010

HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:

We can't talk about Sammo, Yuen and Jackie being raised by opera school without talking about the great film Painted Faces, which is a dramatization of their school days with Sammo playing the headmaster.

Please talk more about this, just noticed it.

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry
Like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2amnQoGbB0

G-III
Mar 4, 2001

I'm rather fascinated by the fact that all these obscure (at least to western eyes) hong kong action movies from the 80s and 90s are basically plastered up on youtube. I've had a good opportunity to blow my brains out with some of the craziest poo poo I've ever seen.

One movie that simultaneously impressed and horrified me was "Iron Angels." A movie that starts out as a light hearted action comedy that all of a sudden explodes into this ultra violent and almost disturbingly dark movie that has people getting outright murdered in terrible ways.

The whole thing builds to a vicious fight scene between Moon Lee and Yukari Oshima that is quite the site to see. A bit of wire work is involved but these two women are absolute martial arts beasts.

Trailer: http://youtu.be/HHANUdGtZ4A
End Fight Scene: http://youtu.be/XT3MlF9Zua0
Full Movie (really awful English dub): http://youtu.be/S_bnmb_OIM0

G-III fucked around with this message at 04:24 on Aug 14, 2014

Oracle
Oct 9, 2004

Yeah iirc a lot of those studios folded and the distribution rights/ownership are up in the air, and copyright was a pretty fast and loose thing back then as it was.

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010

Oracle posted:

Yeah iirc a lot of those studios folded and the distribution rights/ownership are up in the air, and copyright was a pretty fast and loose thing back then as it was.

I'd imagine some of the studios that snatched up the films are gone, too.

El Gallinero Gros fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Aug 14, 2014

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry
Shaw Brothers was notorious for selling multiple 'exclusive' distribution deals to VHS production houses back in the 70s and 80s.

Anonymous Robot
Jun 1, 2007

Lost his leg in Robo War I
What's with all the footage of kittens in the final fight in Return of the Dragon?

HUNDU THE BEAST GOD
Sep 14, 2007

everything is yours

El Gallinero Gros posted:

Please talk more about this, just noticed it.

He talks about it plenty in his his autobiography, which I no longer have. But I believe his stepdad (?) went to Australia and basically sold him to Peking Opera training school, where he met Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung and a few other friends. They've known each other since the age of 7-8 years old, which is adorable except for the fact that they were basically like the property of a finishing school until they were teenagers.

Oracle
Oct 9, 2004

And you can find and watch it in an obviously copied from VHS format complete with pretty crappy English subtitles on youtube. I don't even think its files, there's just no way of disentangling rights to it. I mean its up on YouTube for jah's take.

The autobiography in question is called Jackie Chan: My Life and is a pretty standardly sanitized autobiography. My 8 year old loves to read the early chapters over and over again to the point the book is falling apart.

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry
It's posted eight or so posts up.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Anonymous Robot posted:

What's with all the footage of kittens in the final fight in Return of the Dragon?

Rome is famously inhabited by tons of feral cats, especially within some of the monuments and ruins. Maybe Lee was trying to use them as some kind of audience?

brocked
Oct 25, 2005

All shall love me and despair!
I'm throwing my hat into the ring with some favorites I haven't seen mentioned here yet...
The Mr. Vampire movies (Lam Ching Ying owned them all) and Close Encounters of the Spooky Kind
Police story II
Shanghai/millionaire's express - featuring everyone in Sammo Hung's rolodex not named Jackie Chan

Do the Razor Hanzo movies belong in this thread as well?

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry
I love Millionaire's Express.

Sammo Hung
Yuen Biao
Rosamund Kwan
Kenny Bee
Phillip Ko
Lam Ching Ying
Billy Lau
Lau Kar Wing
Richard Ng
Richard Norton
Yukari Oshima
Cynthia Rothrock
Shih Kien
James Tien
Eric Tsang
Jimmy Wang Yu
Dick Wei
Wu Ma
Bolo Yeung
Yuen Wah
Yuen Miu
Johnny Wang
Teddy Yip

One of the all-time dream casts, and the movie is great too.

The Trailer rocks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TX9IiYgvcBU

Starscream
Aug 17, 2000

brocked posted:

Close Encounters of the Spooky Kind

This is one of my all-time favourites, it's just so goofy! Sammo gets tricked into fighting a vampire (twice!), Sammo fights his own possessed hand, Sammo gets possessed by the Monkey God, there's a wizard duel, hopping vampires, slapstick comedy and more incredible kung fu!

moller
Jan 10, 2007

Swan stole my music and framed me!

brocked posted:

Do the Razor Hanzo movies belong in this thread as well?

Personally I would lean towards no, because Hong Kong cinema and Japanese cinema are so different. Hanzo is a detective - do Three Seconds Before Explosion and A Colt is my Passport belong here? If we take the thread title literally, what are Hanzo's martial arts? He fights with a rube goldberg style bathroom full of traps and his well-trained information extracting endowment. He also has that jitte with the chain hidden in the handle but he uses that like twice in the three films.

That being said, I dunno if there's a Japanese cinema/crime cinema thread anywhere on CD.

I heartily recommend the trilogy to almost anyone, especially people who have seen some Zatoichi films. The legendary actor Shintaro Katsu who portrayed the blind masseur and friend of the downtrodden and outcast in 20-some films and multiple television series stars as Hanzo, a period detective. Picture every "loose cannon who gets results" crossed with a little James Bond and you're halfway there. The other half is sexual torture. Hanzo uses sexual torture both to purify himself of the corruption that he sees in law enforcement and as a primary means of persuading (female) witnesses to testify. I can't really explain this any better without it sounding weirder than it already does.

One weird rape trick discovered by a hardboiled cop - corrupt government officials hate him!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e90sdrDNW0

Video is not safe for anywhere, really.

(I love the self-satisfied grin as he pounds himself with the club)

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brocked
Oct 25, 2005

All shall love me and despair!
Any description of Razor Hanzo is not complete without mentioning the awesome fuzz tone guitar soundtrack.... Really, it's like a cross between Dirty Harry and Sweet Sweet back set in feudal Japan.... And I guess I'll still discussing it now... Now who's got some Karen Mok movies for me to watch?

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