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Missing Name
Jan 5, 2013


Just started paying attention to this LP, and seeing how I'm a foodie without skills, I love this.

The video isn't up yet, but did you use a fork to roll the gnocchi? That's how we do it in our family.

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Pringles Monster
Nov 1, 2012
This is proving to be a fun and different LP; looking forwards to see more of these recipes! :)

Mico posted:

I made gnocchi because my roommates were all "dont make borscht please oh god" so I did the homemade gnocchi intstead.

I have not started editing the video yet, but holy poo poo I cannot emphasize enough how not worth it creating homemade gnocchi is. It took me four hours. I would much rather just spend 3 bucks on the prepackaged stuff at Food 4 Less instead and keep about 3:55 in free time.

That's quite a long time. Have you tried microwaving the potatoes? I know it sounds heretical to suggest microwaving, but it it doesn't retain moisture and actually cooks the potatoes even more quickly. The gnocchi is less likely to get all gluggy if it retains less water, which tends to happen in boiled, peeled potatoes. It also means that you can peel and dice the potatoes to small pieces beforehand to hasten cooking time (you only need to microwave for them for just 8 minutes)!

Pringles Monster fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Sep 1, 2013

Petr
Oct 3, 2000
So I can't cook at all. I want to try to learn, but cast iron is super-trendy so everything says to use a cast iron pan. My boyfriend doesn't want to get one because he thinks it's too much of a pain in the rear end. Regardless of whether he's right, can I do things like the curry in a regular pan?

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Petr posted:

So I can't cook at all. I want to try to learn, but cast iron is super-trendy so everything says to use a cast iron pan. My boyfriend doesn't want to get one because he thinks it's too much of a pain in the rear end. Regardless of whether he's right, can I do things like the curry in a regular pan?

If it's a pot or a pan that can withstand the boiling point of water, it can cook most any kind of basic dish (PS: curry is pretty drat basic). Now while seasoning a cast-iron pan has benefits like forming a non-stick barrier and trapping some interesting flavors in the oils which then get passed into whatever else you cook, someone new to cooking like yourself would be better off using something chemically treated to be non-stick, like Teflon or one of its knock-offs. Non-stick coatings have their own set of rules to follow, but they're easier to remember and cleaning them is a breeze.

Petr
Oct 3, 2000

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

If it's a pot or a pan that can withstand the boiling point of water, it can cook most any kind of basic dish (PS: curry is pretty drat basic). Now while seasoning a cast-iron pan has benefits like forming a non-stick barrier and trapping some interesting flavors in the oils which then get passed into whatever else you cook, someone new to cooking like yourself would be better off using something chemically treated to be non-stick, like Teflon or one of its knock-offs. Non-stick coatings have their own set of rules to follow, but they're easier to remember and cleaning them is a breeze.

Thanks. One of the reasons I don't cook is that I get hung up on the details. Oh, I don't have that pan, I can't do it. Oh, I've never seen that ingredient in my supermarket, better find a different recipe.

It's really sad, I'm 31 and have cooked maybe ten times in my life.

Edit: God, I love chorizo, but there is no place around here to get it. I've looked.

njsykora
Jan 23, 2012

Robots confuse squirrels.


Petr posted:

So I can't cook at all. I want to try to learn, but cast iron is super-trendy so everything says to use a cast iron pan. My boyfriend doesn't want to get one because he thinks it's too much of a pain in the rear end. Regardless of whether he's right, can I do things like the curry in a regular pan?

I have a standard non-stick frying pan and made the curry in that. Just get a good size pan and you're good to cook a hell of a lot of stuff. Though you should get a saucepan as well. As this thread's covered before cooking is where you get to substitute poo poo and be imprecise and it'll probably still work out fine, unlike baking where everything needs to be done just right else it all fails.

Petr
Oct 3, 2000
I've got all the pans and stuff since my boyfriend does all the cooking. He just doesn't want to get a cast iron pan because he thinks he'll need to do loving organic chemistry on it every night for ten years before it will work.

Marcade
Jun 11, 2006


Who are you to glizzy gobble El Vago's marshmussy?

I really hope you tried deep-frying the gnochhi.



I am the reason we cannot have nice things.

Marcade fucked around with this message at 07:37 on Sep 2, 2013

Mico
Jan 29, 2011

A billion dollars.

Marcade posted:

I really hope you tried deep-frying the gnochhi.

You fool I was going to post this along side my update

Mico
Jan 29, 2011

A billion dollars.
Sorry about the delay. I'd say it won't happen again, but that would probably be a lie.




Gnocchi:
Recipe from the New York Times Cookbook)
3 Russett Potatoes
2 egg yolks
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup flour

Wash the potatoes.
Boil the potatoes (unpeeled, uncut). It does not say how long, but I can tell you that 35 minutes is not nearly enough. In fact I might even suggest going straight up baked potato on that poo poo but I havent tried it so I won't.
Peel the potatoes with your hands.
Smang it girl (Smash it and bang)
add the egg yolks and salt, and knead (make sure the potatoes are cool by this point or you'll end up with scrambled eggs and hash browns instead of gnocchi dough)
add the flour and knead some more
roll the dough out into tubes, then cut into bite sized chunks
Boil until the gnocchis float to the top of the pot.
add your choice of sauce and serve.

---

Chicken Parm:
(recipe from you dont really need a recipe source for this its kind of general knowledge)
3 boneless skinless breasts
3 eggs
flour
breadcrumbs
a jar of tomato sauce
fresh mozzarella

Preheat the oven to 350
slice the chicken
bread each piece of chicken (flour -> egg -> breadcrumb) and fry for about 7 minutes per side
In a pyrex baking dish, place the chicken, then cover with the sauce and cheese, and bake for 25 minutes.

---

Video Soundtrack:

Titus Andronicus - My Eating Disorder
The Books - Three Day Night
Wilco - Heavy metal Drummer
Yo La Tengo - Return to Hot Chicken
Plaid - Tender Hooks
Nine Inch Nails - (26) Ghosts III
---

On a semi-related note if anyone knows anything about the string of armed robberies happening in Stockton, CA lately I urge you to contact the Stockton PD about it with any information you may have. Being inside your place of employment while it's being loving robbed is PRETTY DANG STRESSFUL and I want to see this piece of poo poo behind bars okay thanks!

---

Voting:

We're trying something new. I'm going to pick a few recipes and you select from them. Capice?

Fried Shrimp (I would be doing this as coconut shrimp)
Shrimp Gyoza (aka potstickers or dumplings)
Tempura (also probably with shrimp)

WHY YES I DID BUY A TON OF SHRIMP AT THE STORE HOW DID YOU KNOW?

I'm also planning on making a homemade loaf of bread soon because thats a pretty basic and important skill to learn and it just so happens that there is a recipe for that. Plus I just haven't made one for a long time.

Missing Name
Jan 5, 2013


Good to see an update, and if I lived anywhere near that side of the country, I'd try to help with your problem. The closest I've ever gotten to such a situation was having a mental escapee act hosed up in the dining room and promptly be recaptured by the police. However, seeing how I am in New York, I'm just going to say that shrimp gyoza sound tasty.

Also, I made thai curry according to your recipe. It was tasty. I added fresh mushroom, carrots and bell peppers as well.

Sundowner
Apr 10, 2013

not even
jeff goldblum could save me from this nightmare
I vote Borscht :colbert:
(I vote Tempura)

kaiten80
Oct 31, 2012
I'm gonna say shrimp gyoza because potstickers are loving delicious.

I finally got around to making the chicken curry in this thread, and as someone who has no cooking skills whatsoever, I gotta say how surprised I am that I didn't gently caress it up. It was actually pretty drat delicious. So, you know, thanks for doing this thread.

Also, now I have enough dried chiles to make roughly batches of curry, so if you could dig up some more recipes that use them, that'd be awesome.

njsykora
Jan 23, 2012

Robots confuse squirrels.


gently caress yeah let's make some gyoza!

Now as for the video, gently caress cracking eggs. That entire mini-game is something me and my friends never ever found the sweet spot for the crack and just smashed egg after egg against the side of the bowl.

ChaosArgate
Oct 10, 2012

Why does everyone think I'm going to get in trouble?

Let's get some Gyoza!

frozentreasure
Nov 13, 2012

~
Haven't read the thread so I don't know if someone else said this, but the best way to break an egg is to take two eggs and hit them against each other on the sides. One will always come out victorious.

PrinceRandom
Feb 26, 2013

No shrimp Paella? :(

I guess I'd vote Tempura soba. But Gyoza sounds fun too.

Seagull
Oct 9, 2012

give me a chip
Calling for fried shrimp.

Also I'm really down for some gnocchi with a chicken parmigiana now. Might have to go get some ingredients for the week it's just my brother and I home.

buddychrist10
Nov 4, 2009

Obtuse.....even hokey.
Ah yes DJ Chef, everyone in the Food Network TV IV thread hated him. As for the vote, let's try tempura

King Kool
Mar 28, 2011
My vote goes to Tempura, because it sounds the most difficult, and also tasty.

Tyty
Feb 20, 2012

Night-vision Goggles Equipped!


Shrimp Hot Dogs. :colbert:

Nah do Tempura. It's easy and light crispy deep fry batter is the best.

Pringles Monster
Nov 1, 2012
Gyouza

It's crispy and fun to make.

Camel Pimp
May 17, 2008

This poster survived LPing Lunar: Dragon Song. Let's give her a hand.
I vote Gyoza.

I've had... similar bad experiences with gnocchi, and frankly I've had it both store-bought and home-made and liked neither. If I'm gonna spend the time (not quite 4 hours, mind...), I'd rather make home-made pasta or even the time consumer itself, lasagna.

Also I'm a bit surprised neither the game nor whatever recipe you used suggest to shape the gnocchi with a fork. The cookbook I took my recipe from also suggests not using russets; I think it suggests new potatoes. Probably using smaller potatoes might have helped.

Mico
Jan 29, 2011

A billion dollars.

dude789 posted:

Ah yes DJ Chef, everyone in the Food Network TV IV thread hated him. As for the vote, let's try tempura

I just want to throw this out there.

Cutthroat Kitchen is perhaps the greatest show I've seen on Food Network in a LONG time.

It's like Chopped, except good.

DecayDOA
Jun 3, 2013

As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.
Seems like the votes are already rolling in, but hell yes, coconut shrimp.

As for this episode, I do love me some gnocchi and that looks like a really good recipe. I'll have to try it out, thanks!

Sosogomi
Jun 1, 2011
I'm extremely messy even when I try not to be, so I tend to do what you do and crack eggs into cups...over the sink >_<.

I vote for Gyoza!

World
Jan 30, 2012

Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't.
Loving this LP. As someone with zero culinary skill (I've burnt Kraft Dinner) who barely ventures outside of scrambled eggs, this LP has motivated me to try and make good food for once. Except the Gnocchi, because gently caress that.

You should do Fried Shrimp next. Coconut Shrimp is delicious.

widespread
Aug 5, 2013

I believe I am now no longer in the presence of nice people.


You better loving make Gyoza. Only because I LOVE potstickers. Like, absolutely LOVE 'em.

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty

PrinceRandom posted:

No shrimp Paella? :(


Considering I already suggested that previously, I am disappoint. I'm going to go ahead and vote Gyoza because that sounds more interesting than fried shrimp, which the other two are.

Also, while I'm hesitant to make the gnocchi (chicken parm meanwhile is easy as balls, and is something I already know how to make), the recipe I had already heard (via Nadia G of Bitchin Kitchen on Cooking Channel) has you bake the potatoes for an hour and a half instead of boiling them. She made it look like they're the right texture for the mashing and the rolling afterwards too. If I take the plunge, I'm totally going the bake route.

Brought To You By
Oct 31, 2012
The face Cooking Mama is making around the 4:00 minute mark is a Mie pose found in Japanese Kabuki(dance-drama) theater.

It's supposed to be a very powerful pose to emphasize emotions.

Voting for Gyoza

Brought To You By fucked around with this message at 05:55 on Sep 11, 2013

TwoPair
Mar 28, 2010

Pandamn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta
Grimey Drawer
I just assumed her rage finally drove Mama to go Super Saiyan.

TwoPair fucked around with this message at 06:25 on Sep 11, 2013

Invisible Ted
Aug 24, 2011

hhhehehe
Gyoza, pot stickers are the poo poo.

Herr Tog
Jun 18, 2011

Grimey Drawer
Beef stroginoff

SgtSteel91
Oct 21, 2010

Shrimp Gyoza

Onean
Feb 11, 2010

Maiden in white...
You are not one of us.


That's a vote for Tempura if you don't get the reference.

Warmal
Aug 12, 2011

I really love it and would love to see it made so lets go with some Gyoza and I did not know you bought a bunch of shrimp. you didn't hint hard enough.

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Knee-yah-key! :argh:

And next time drizzle the gnocchi with garlic oil instead of bloating them with butter. Oh, and remember to test your potatoes with a fork to find out if they're done; if it slides in and out without resistance (obligatory :quagmire:), they're finished.

(Also, why bother with lemon juice when real heroes use lemon pepper?)

(And yes, fresh mozzarella balls are utterly delicious. Pretty simple, too; it's just fresh cheese curds kneaded together in salted water. You could make it at home with the right ingredients.)

toddy.
Jun 15, 2010

~she is my wife~

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

(Also, why bother with lemon juice when real heroes use lemon pepper?)

(Begins frothing from the mouth profusely)

Futaba Anzu
May 6, 2011

GROSS BOY

Oh god, please at least put down a moist paper towel under the cutting board to make sure you don't move it all over the place and accidentally cut yourself because of it.

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OhsH
Jan 12, 2008
I approve this chickencheese thread.

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