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Kitykity lick lick
Jul 30, 2013


Please post about your funny/embarrassing/crazy times that you've been caught having sex.

One time I kicked my gf in the face cause her dad walked in and I did everything I could to pull my pants up. When they were up he left....little did I know I looked down and my penis was still out...

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thunderspanks
Nov 5, 2003

crucify this

One time I was having sex with my girlfriend in front of the computer and the computer window was open on the somethingisawful forums and my girlfriend saw this post that was made by kitykity lick lick... and my girlfriend came so hard that my girlfriend's vagina literally ripped my penis off... and now I'm a eunuch so thanks for posting this thread you poo poo face...

....

Samuel L. ACKSYN
Feb 29, 2008




i get caught having sex all the time, plz don't kinkshame my fetish



oh you mean accidently.

Tiestofan69
Jan 26, 2011



there was this one time i had sex and

Samuel L. ACKSYN
Feb 29, 2008




sometimes i set my iphone background to a picture of my dick and "accidently" leave it in public places does that count

The Fuzzy Hulk
Nov 22, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT CROSSING THE STREAMS



One time I was having sex with a chubby Asian girl in the back of my pickup and a cop pulled up and was like "What are you guys doin'?" and we were like "What do you think?" He checked to make sure we were both 18 (I was, she was 21) and then he left.

That was how I lost my virginity.

The funny thing is I'm not kidding and this is the first time I've ever told anyone about it.

Agrajag
Jan 21, 2006

"HATERS GONNA HATE!"

STAR CITIZEN
will be the GREATEST GAME EVER!!!



I'm already a

REAR ADMIRAL what are you?


I have dreams about getting caught having sex, but in reality I am still a sad virgin. =C

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005



I was once organizing a MW2 team and pwned like a ton of dudes and spent all day in my basement.

Vastarien
Dec 20, 2012

Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.


The Fuzzy Hulk posted:

One time I was having sex with a chubby Asian girl in the back of my pickup and a cop pulled up and was like "What are you guys doin'?" and we were like "What do you think?" He checked to make sure we were both 18 (I was, she was 21) and then he left.

That was how I lost my virginity.

The funny thing is I'm not kidding and this is the first time I've ever told anyone about it.

I, too, have been approached by a police officer while having car sex with a chubby Asian girl. Except my cop kindly informed us that the park had closed at 11:00 pm and that we'd have to leave.

Kung Food
Dec 11, 2006

PORN WIZARD

Hey dude, you can't just start making new topics without making an introduction thread first. Go to our introductions forum and make a thread there to say hi and let us know what you are about.

gizmojumpjet
Feb 21, 2006

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.

Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.


Kitykity lick lick posted:

Please post about your funny/embarrassing/crazy times that you've been caught having sex.

One time I kicked my gf in the face cause her dad walked in and I did everything I could to pull my pants up. When they were up he left....little did I know I looked down and my penis was still out...

So, your dick is so small he didn't even notice.

Congratulations.

fudsaf
Jan 29, 2010


My two-year-old nephew walked in on me fully engorged and shaft-deep in an overflowing can of Rosarita Refried Beans.




Whew, it feels good getting that off my chest. Thanks, Kitykity lick lick.

WHERE MY HAT IS AT
Jan 7, 2011


I have sex with ~*~*~my girlfriend*~*~*~
Later nerds

runupon cracker
Jan 13, 2006

This will hurt me more than it hurts you.

I've never had sex.

Great, now I feel bad, thanks rear end in a top hat.

Omi-Polari
Oct 4, 2012


WHERE MY HAT IS AT posted:

I have sex with ~*~*~my girlfriend*~*~*~
Later nerds
Post while as you have sex please.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001


This one time I got caught having sex with my girlfriend, rosey palmer, in the bathroom. I was so shocked I nearly let it loose in my eye. And let me tell you, the most shameful thing is when you manage to shoot a load into your own eye.

MegaGatts
Dec 12, 2004


I got caught putting my weiner into a bunch of mashed up avocados. I am no longer welcome at that Subway.

deathsuxdontdie
Apr 11, 2004

Excellent Patient Care

Omi-Polari posted:

Post while as you have sex please.

Only type with your penis

odd2k
Jul 18, 2006
I DIDN'T CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING BUT A SHITTY POST SO I GOT THIS SHITTY CUSTOM TITLE!

Once I had sex and another person entered the room. Well, you had to be there I guess.

SoundMakesSense
May 8, 2006

It's the only way out.



Uh...but plus 9.

Ilustforponydeath
May 28, 2011


How about a goddamned trigger warning next time? Not everyone is comfortable envisioning stuff that goes on outside their rooms.

causticBeet
Mar 2, 2010

BIG VINCE COMIN FOR YOU

Who would want to join a MW3 team with this sex haver cis scum

Anthrovore
Oct 12, 2009

EAT ROTTEN FRUIT FROM A SHITTY TREE


This one time I was catching dome from this hot, chesty, half Asian babe while in a mw2 tournie and it totally threw off my k/d, my squaddies were pissed lol. I shot a dude in the face from across the map as I came tho so it was pretty awesome tbh.

HogX
Aug 16, 2008



I had sex with a girl in the back seat of her car in the underground parking garage of a bank. She got out mid-sex to pee on the ground.

me your dad
Jul 25, 2006



You loving suck at making threads 'kittylick lick lick'

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights to show you. Come with us. Taste our pleasures.



deathsuxdontdie posted:

Only type with your penis

dcnvjg ui9u9i

joshtothemaxx
Nov 17, 2008

I will have a whole army of zombies! A zombie Marine Corps, a zombie Navy Corps, zombie Space Cadets...


I got caught once Kitykity lick licking my kitty's lick lick. it was p weird fyi

Alter Ego
Nov 7, 2005

Good evening ignorant pigs!
Put down your crack pipes
and your beer bongs!


So there was this one time I was having sex on the television and

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

Revengeful corpse out to kill Smell the stench, your guts will spill
Vomit for a mind, maggots for a cock With his axe the corpse will chop


This one time I was having the sex with a female woman and it was good but not great because I am pretty sure

Late Unpleasantness
Mar 26, 2008

I'm going to start
the googly now.


Stairwell kityklick lick lkkyltktyl tt klttyttlk.

Ktik lckclitk litit tltl. Ki. Litkttlitlklttitlktlkttlitltkltk.

BowieFett
Oct 21, 2008



When someone catches you having sex, it's rude not to invite them to join in. It's like eating food in front of someone. You were rude to your girlfriend's dad, op. You should feel bad.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

They weren't just hull numbers, they were our home addresses. Now the old neighborhood is torn down and gone and all that is left are memories.


fudsaf posted:

My two-year-old nephew walked in on me fully engorged and shaft-deep in an overflowing can of Rosarita Refried Beans.

Whew, it feels good getting that off my chest. Thanks, Kitykity lick lick.

Your nephew should see a doctor. At two he should not be able to engorge even after lubing up with refried beans.

Idiot Kicker
Jun 13, 2007


All my sex stories are from a long time ago thanks for opening those wounds OP

LOCUST FART HELL
Mar 8, 2007



I have never known the touch of a woman. Please don't purposely exclude me like this in the future.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

May your eyes be opened by the wonderful


Look at all you goons making wild claims about being caught having sex. We all know you are lying. The family line dies at all of you and you know it.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007



Kitykity lick lick posted:

Please post about your funny/embarrassing/crazy times that you've been caught having sex.

One time I kicked my gf in the face cause her dad walked in and I did everything I could to pull my pants up. When they were up he left....little did I know I looked down and my penis was still out...

Welcome to the SomethingAwful forums, Kitykity lick lick. Thanks for registering!

When the moderator gives you your first suspension in a few minutes, he or she might only give you a brief explanation and this may leave you feeling confused and perhaps embarrassed. These feelings are normal for people who are new to the intense experience of posting on SomethingAwful.com. As a free service to you, I will try to spell things out so that you will maybe understand what is happening.

Nobody here cares that you have had sex. Every single response to your thread is mocking you. If you were even passingly familiar with the SomethingAwful forums, you would have easily predicted exactly such a response.

It is sort of like if you got up well after your bedtime, and wandered into the living room in your adorable PJs where your parents were having a nice glass of wine with their other adult guests, and then in your cute way trying to be a grown-up announced to everyone that "Boys have pee-pees and girls have hoo-hoos!" You smile, thinking you have made an awesome grown-up contribution to the grown-up atmosphere in the grown-up room.

As your mother smiles embarrassedly and hopes that Bob and Linda find you cute rather than obnoxious, you, oblivious, feel only the sharp pang of betrayal and shame when your father marches you back to your bedroom and gives you a firm smack on the rear end. Why? You were just trying to be grown-up! As a child, you can't fully grasp how thoroughly you demonstrated that you didn't belong, that you were intruding, that you had no grasp of what would have been appropriate to say to actual adults.

I hope this analogy will help you to figure out what went wrong here.

something
Aug 1, 2011

Have you ever seen
The most pure look of delight
On a Babby's face?

Waltzing Along posted:

Look at all you goons making wild claims about being caught having sex. We all know you are lying. The family line dies at all of you and you know it.

I have a brother who can continue the line .

funky not a junkie
Aug 5, 2011


Leperflesh posted:

Welcome to the SomethingAwful forums, Kitykity lick lick. Thanks for registering!

When the moderator gives you your first suspension in a few minutes, he or she might only give you a brief explanation and this may leave you feeling confused and perhaps embarrassed. These feelings are normal for people who are new to the intense experience of posting on SomethingAwful.com. As a free service to you, I will try to spell things out so that you will maybe understand what is happening.

Nobody here cares that you have had sex. Every single response to your thread is mocking you. If you were even passingly familiar with the SomethingAwful forums, you would have easily predicted exactly such a response.

It is sort of like if you got up well after your bedtime, and wandered into the living room in your adorable PJs where your parents were having a nice glass of wine with their other adult guests, and then in your cute way trying to be a grown-up announced to everyone that "Boys have pee-pees and girls have hoo-hoos!" You smile, thinking you have made an awesome grown-up contribution to the grown-up atmosphere in the grown-up room.

As your mother smiles embarrassedly and hopes that Bob and Linda find you cute rather than obnoxious, you, oblivious, feel only the sharp pang of betrayal and shame when your father marches you back to your bedroom and gives you a firm smack on the rear end. Why? You were just trying to be grown-up! As a child, you can't fully grasp how thoroughly you demonstrated that you didn't belong, that you were intruding, that you had no grasp of what would have been appropriate to say to actual adults.

I hope this analogy will help you to figure out what went wrong here.

you should loosen up, rear end in a top hat. try getting laid sometime

Agrajag
Jan 21, 2006

"HATERS GONNA HATE!"

STAR CITIZEN
will be the GREATEST GAME EVER!!!



I'm already a

REAR ADMIRAL what are you?


Leperflesh posted:

Welcome to the SomethingAwful forums, Kitykity lick lick. Thanks for registering!

When the moderator gives you your first suspension in a few minutes, he or she might only give you a brief explanation and this may leave you feeling confused and perhaps embarrassed. These feelings are normal for people who are new to the intense experience of posting on SomethingAwful.com. As a free service to you, I will try to spell things out so that you will maybe understand what is happening.

Nobody here cares that you have had sex. Every single response to your thread is mocking you. If you were even passingly familiar with the SomethingAwful forums, you would have easily predicted exactly such a response.

It is sort of like if you got up well after your bedtime, and wandered into the living room in your adorable PJs where your parents were having a nice glass of wine with their other adult guests, and then in your cute way trying to be a grown-up announced to everyone that "Boys have pee-pees and girls have hoo-hoos!" You smile, thinking you have made an awesome grown-up contribution to the grown-up atmosphere in the grown-up room.

As your mother smiles embarrassedly and hopes that Bob and Linda find you cute rather than obnoxious, you, oblivious, feel only the sharp pang of betrayal and shame when your father marches you back to your bedroom and gives you a firm smack on the rear end. Why? You were just trying to be grown-up! As a child, you can't fully grasp how thoroughly you demonstrated that you didn't belong, that you were intruding, that you had no grasp of what would have been appropriate to say to actual adults.

I hope this analogy will help you to figure out what went wrong here.

What the gently caress is this? Why is grandma posting in SA? Get the gently caress out of here grandma, you don't belong here!

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NTT
Nov 14, 2011

Time for a True Display of
*An Ally has been slain*


Leperflesh posted:

2/10 would bang

This post makes me flaccid inside. Outside too.

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