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tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC




Let's face it, you're here either because of PSG or because of Monaco. Either way, FOOTBALL IS DEAD.

Welcome to the 2013-2014 Ligue 1 thread, where football is dead and players are nothing but heartless mercenaries. Yes, this is France's top flight teams, where most teams are poo poo and the ones that are not are just dancing over the corpse of football. It's both glorious and terrible.

But why should YOU care about the Ligue 1?
There's really not a lot of reasons to care about it, no, but:

    • PSG have become an international attraction because of their money and their high-profile players like Zlatan Ibrahimovic, winner of the TRP best goal award, Thiago Silva and many other expensive mercenaries.
    •Monaco count with an actually good team after spending gazillions and being linked to absolutely every player ever. Their most famous star, Falcao, will probably draw a lot of attention.
    •Marseille will still put up a fight against the big spenders and it may be fun.
    •You'll have a chance at seeing Lyon becoming more and more of a joke after all of their good players leave and don't manage to get CL football.

There's no more reasons. It's not a great league to be honest. Also, the reasons you're probably reading this are because:

    • You're a PSG plastic.
    • You're a Monaco plastic.
    • You really dislike Spanish football and there's nothing else to watch at night.
    • You're a proud Frenchman who isn't aware the League is poo poo.

You still interested? Well, the Ligue 1 is composed of 20 teams, of which the last 3 face relegation, being replaced by the top 3 teams from the Ligue 2 (a horrible league you don't even want to think about). The top 2 teams qualify to the Champions League group phase and the third top team gets to the qualification round. The 4th placed team qualifies for the Europa League just like the winners of the Coupe de France and Coupe de la Ligue. Not that it matters though, French teams are awful in Europe.

Teams qualified for the Champions League
    • PSG (group stage)
    • Olympique de Marseille (group stage)
    • Olympique Lyonnais (play-off round)

Teams qualified for the Europa League
    • Bordeaux (group stage)
    • Nice (play-off round)
    • Saint-Étienne (third qualifying round)

Last year's table was:


Zlatan Ibrahimovic was the top scorer with 30 goals. But everyone expected that. This year with Falcao and Cavani there there's going to be some more competition, so maybe that's going to be fun.

This is the list of teams participating in the Ligue 1:


Ajaccio
    Founded 1910.
    Manager: Fabrizio Ravanelli.
    2012-13: 17th.
    Things to know about the club: Nothing. It's a mediocre club with mediocre players. Their best position ever in the L1 was 6th in 1971. They're Corsican though, and as such they were the first Corsican club to be in a top-flight league. You can laugh at Guillermo Ochoa though.


Bastia
    Founded 1905.
    Manager: Frédéric Hantz.
    2012-13: 12th.
    Things to know about the club: They had a short period of being decent, reaching the finals of the UEFA Cup in 1978, only to lose against PSV. They were also third in the league in 1977 and reached the finals of the Coupe de la Ligue in 1995.


Bordeaux
    Founded 1881.
    Manager: Francis Gillot.
    2012-13: 7th.
    Things to know about the club: A rather big and successful team with lots of titles. They've also reached the semifinals of the Champions League* in 1985. Not a terrible team, but haven't performed as expected lately.


    Evian
    Founded 2007
    Manager: Pascal Dupraz
    2012-13: 16th.
    Things to know about the club: Danone is the owner of this team, so yoghurts, etc. Also look at their foundation date.


Guingamp
    Founded: 1912.
    Manager: Jocelyn Gourvennec.
    2012-13: Ligue 2, 2nd. Promoted.
    Things to know about the club: They just got promoted!


Lille
    Founded: 1944.
    Manager: René Girard.
    2012-13: 6th.
    Things to know about the club: Their former (quite successful) manager, Rudi Garcia, just moved to Rome, so they may have a hard time adapting to a new system. Yohan Kebab used to play for them.


Lorient
    Founded: 1926.
    Manager: Christian Gourcuff.
    2012-13: 8th.
    Things to know about the club: They won the Coupe de France in 2002, but besides that, they're yet another mediocre team.


Lyon
    Founded: 1950.
    Manager: Rémi Garde.
    2012-13: 3rd.
    Things to know about the club: A powerhouse just a couple of seasons ago, they have only reached the semifinals of the Champions League in 2010. Their owner is an rear end.


Marseille
    Founded: 1899.
    Manager: Élie Baup.
    2012-13: 2nd.
    Things to know about the club: The only French team to ever win the Champions League (1993), Marseille is always a contender, but they don't have the money PSG or Monaco have. They are the biggest French club by far.


Monaco
    Founded: 1924.
    Manager: Claudio Ranieri.
    2012-13: Ligue 2, 1st. Promoted.
    Things to know about the club: A big club that faced some awful seasons before being bought out by a Russian millionaire, they now have enough money to buy titles. They are technically not a French club, which has brought some lol worthy problems regarding taxes and such. They've won the L1 seven times and are a solid contender this year.


Montpellier
    Founded: 1974.
    Manager: Jean Fernandez.
    2012-13: 9th.
    Things to know about the club: They had a really good season in 2011-2012, winning the L1 for the first time (and leaving big spenders PSG in second place) but then they went back to being mediocre after that brief glorious spell. Their first Champions League was rather disastrous, not winning a single game. They did perform better at the Cup Winners' Cup in 1991, losing to Manchester United.


Nantes
    Founded: 1943.
    Manager: Michel Der Zakarian.
    2012-13: Ligue 2, 3rd. Promoted.
    Things to know about the club: They have a good record, being the third most successful club in the Ligue 1 and reaching the Champions League semifinals in 1996, but they also became poo poo and got relegated. They just got promoted this season, so don't expect them to be good. Maybe just decent.


Nice
    Founded: 1904.
    Manager: Claude Puel.
    2012-13: 4th.
    Things to know about the club: A team with some rather rich history with highs and lows, they have been in good form lately and were really close to qualify for the Champions League.


Paris Saint-Germain
    Founded: 1970.
    Manager: Laurent Blanc
    2012-13: 1st.
    Things to know about the club: You already know everything there is to know about this team.


Reims
    Founded: 1911.
    Manager: Hubert Fournier.
    2012-13: 14th.
    Things to know about the club: Winners of the Latin Cup against Milan in 1953, they were a top team during the 50s, but then they went to hell, playing for some seasons in the National (the third division of French football). They returned to the Ligue 1 in 2012 and had a mediocre season.


Rennes
    Founded: 1901.
    Manager: Philippe Montanier.
    2012-13: 13th.
    Things to know about the club: A club with a long history that has never really managed to impress. Although they have never won the L1, they have been one of the most regular sides in the top flight. They won the Coupe de France a couple of times and reached the finals of the Coupe de la Ligue last season, losing to Saint-Étienne.


Saint-Étienne
    Founded: 1919.
    Manager: Christophe Galtier.
    2012-13: 5th.
    Things to know about the club: One of the most important and successful clubs, they've won the L1 10 times, but they've been on a rather dry spell since 1982. They were relegated in 1984 and had some awful seasons ever since. They had a pretty good season in 2012-13, qualifying to the Europa League and winning the Coupe de la Ligue.


Sochaux
    Founded: 1928.
    Manager: Éric Hély.
    2012-13: 15th.
    Things to know about the club: They were good for some time, winning the L1 a couple of times and performing well regularly, got relegated in the 90s and have been on shaky grounds ever since.


Toulouse
    Founded: 1970.
    Manager: Alain Casanova.
    2012-13: 10th.
    Things to know about the club: Not a great team, but they did manage to qualify for the Europa League a couple of times and even lost to Liverpool in the third qualifying round of the 2007-2008 Champions League. Their most important title was the 1957 Coupe de France.


Valenciennes
    Founded: 1913.
    Manager: Daniel Sanchez.
    2012-13: 11th.
    Things to know about the club: No top flight titles nor cups and constant mediocre performances. Had an awful financial situation in the 90s which saw them relegated to Amateur French Championship, which is the 4th division of French football.

Some stupid poo poo from last season:


Last match of the season


Scum


Bye bye Becks


Ibra tapping up Ronaldo for a comeback


Lopez and Grenier, lovers


Betão


Ligue 1 defending



Links and poo poo you may want to check to keep up with this crappy interesting league:
The official Ligue 1 official YouTube channel. It's pretty good.

The official Ligue 1 site. It's in English!

L'Équipe. If you can understand French, this is the place to check for most news and press conference videos and poo poo.

Wiziwig and Rojadirecta are your friends if you want to actually watch these awful matches. Or check your local TV guide or whatever.


Anything else you should know?
This is a boring fun league and you probably shouldn't watch it. If you do, you're welcome to post here!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xv...t?search_algo=2

tetsman fucked around with this message at Aug 2, 2013 around 21:59

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tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Just tell me if there's something you want to add about your best teams or whatever.

EDIT:

Week 1 fixtures.

tetsman fucked around with this message at Aug 2, 2013 around 22:21

Calliper
May 21, 2007



Is this the unhappiest league in Europe?

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Nah, I'm sure that's the Polish league.

KDdidit
Mar 2, 2007
KDdidn't

Do they have a Supercup?

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Yeah, the Trophée des champions, which is played by the winner of the Ligue 1 and the winner of the Coupe de France. This year it will be played by PSG and Bordeaux and it will take place tomorrow Saturday (20:45 in France).

Giovanni_Sinclair
Apr 25, 2009

It was on this day that his greatest enemy defeated, the true lord of darkness arose. His name? MARIO.


Is it wrong that am a Lyon plastic because theres a town in the Chicago suburbs that is called Lyons? I never followed the league before until year or two because the limited coverage in the US and being too lazy to check it out on the net.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011


Lille has the best sigil crest.

Also I'll be supporting both Corsican teams to stay in Ligue 1, Forza Corsica!

Calliper posted:

Is this the unhappiest league in Europe?

It has to be up there.

Kurtofan fucked around with this message at Aug 3, 2013 around 09:19

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Tonight is the

    Tropée des Champions !



This is the first time the Trophée des Champions will be played in Sub-Saharan Africa, especifically in Libreville, Gabon, after having been played in Montréal, Tunis, Tanger and New York.
You can watch this game through BeIn Sport and TV5 Monde.

The teams might look like this:



(According to L'Équipe, that is.)

Both teams have had a regular preseason and, as you see, PSG will be missing Cavani and Marquinhos.

Last results in friendlies:

Sturm Graz 3 - 1 PSG
Rapid Vienne 1 - 2 PSG
Hammarby 0 - 2 PSG
Real Madrid 1 - 0 PSG

Bordeaux 3-3 Benfica
Evian-TG 0-0 Bordeaux
Zulte-Waregem 2-1 Bordeaux
FC Malines 1-2 Bordeaux
Barnsley 1-3 Bordeaux
Middlesbrough 2-1 Bordeaux

tetsman fucked around with this message at Aug 3, 2013 around 17:04

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011


Tunis and Tanger are in Africa.

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Lmao I forgot to write Sub-Saharan.

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Also the game just started in case you all want to enjoy it.

Calliper
May 21, 2007



How can I, an American, enjoy this football match?

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Calliper posted:

How can I, an American, enjoy this football match?

If you don't have TV5 Monde you can try wiziwig, there are a bunch of streams you can check.

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002



Calliper posted:

How can I, an American, enjoy this football match?

It's on BeIN, if you have that channel.

Method Mango
Sep 26, 2005



It's weird how every Ligue 1 team decided to make their jerseys look worse this year.

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Whoa, Bordeaux 1-0 PSG.

Edit: PSG turned the game around and beat Bordeaux 2-1. The final minutes were lots of fun. Football really is dead.

tetsman fucked around with this message at Aug 3, 2013 around 20:45

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002



The same shits always win

Charlotte Hornets
Dec 29, 2011



horrible refereeing in that match.

Giovanni_Sinclair
Apr 25, 2009

It was on this day that his greatest enemy defeated, the true lord of darkness arose. His name? MARIO.


Charlotte Hornets posted:

horrible refereeing in that match.

Well at least it didn't ruin the game, for PSG fans at least.

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Poko had a good game and it's nice that he got that local recognition. gently caress PSG anyway.

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013

This post was a bitch, and I spanked it.


This is where I repost Everything You Need To Know About PSG But Likely Already Knew: http://theclassical.org/articles/paris-is-earning

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002



Hey, the season kicks off Friday evening with the previous 2 champions facing off, Montpellier vs. PSG. No word on whether Cavani will be in the PSG squad, but Marquinhos definitely will not be. PSG also denied the reports that Marquinhos has hepatitis, so who knows what the real story is with that situation.

E: no Cavani to start

trem_two fucked around with this message at Aug 9, 2013 around 18:29

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002



Wow, fantastic goal by Cabella to put Montpellier up early, after he had started the counter attack by taking the ball off of Ibra.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

Ma che cazzo fai?


Is Cavani on the bench?

e: also thank you for posting I was wondering what I was going to do all afternoon, heh

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002



Gigi Galli posted:

Is Cavani on the bench?

Yep, he is

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Montpellier's defense is tight but I can't see them holding this lead for the rest of the game.

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002



Pastore and Ibra with the same hairdo is confusing on my poo poo-def BeIN broadcast.

VV I"m dumb, I hadn't even thought of that

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

Ma che cazzo fai?


I guess unless Ibra gets injured, then we wont see Lavezzi and Cavani together much, which is a shame.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

Ma che cazzo fai?


trem_two posted:

Pastore and Ibra with the same hairdo is confusing on my poo poo-def BeIN broadcast.

Ah yes, now you know the magic of watching Milan on RAI.

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012



Hows this match? Might switch over to this instead of Bundesliga.

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Hegav posted:

Hows this match? Might switch over to this instead of Bundesliga.

It's been a good game so far, Montpellier is winning 1-0 and PSG is slowly losing patience. Some decent looking counterattacks and nice fouls around the pitch.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

Ma che cazzo fai?


oof, lovely from Verratti, but good defending.

e: Pastore's been pretty poo poo.

Gigi Galli fucked around with this message at Aug 9, 2013 around 19:03

Spangly A
May 14, 2009

Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairy tales.

I will plastic for Ajaccio this year because ACA(b) and because Ravanelli. I feel these are good reasons. Ligue Une is always good for good teams inexplicably becoming instantly poo poo (Lyon, Bordeaux, Lille, Montepellier, PSG). It keeps it fresh.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

Ma che cazzo fai?


Nice unselfish header from Zlat, though he may have been trying to put it in, haha. Good run by Maxwell to finish it.

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002



Here comes Cavani.

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Red card for El-Kaoutari. PSG are gonna win this. gently caress them.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

Ma che cazzo fai?


Stupid foul there, if PSG doesn't win now Im gonna laugh a lot.

e: Ha poo poo that was nearly a goal with Cavani's first touch.

tetsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


Holy poo poo that was close.

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Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

Ma che cazzo fai?


What a fuckin save from the Montpellier keeper, hope it stays this way

e: nice

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