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Levitate
Sep 30, 2005

randy newman voice

YOU'VE GOT A LAFRENIÈRE IN ME

Zodijackylite posted:

RIP Rick Nash. Good thing I really like Brandon Dubinsky.

Boxc needs to add some text to his av that says "not tonight I have a headache"

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Pat Clements
Feb 10, 2008
So things were looking good for a while and Scott Gomez actually got promoted to the Panthers' top line on October 12 with 4 points in 5 games.

He has not scored a point since then and was a healthy scratch last night.

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock

The Prisoner posted:

So things were looking good for a while and Scott Gomez actually got promoted to the Panthers' top line on October 12 with 4 points in 5 games.

He has not scored a point since then and was a healthy scratch last night.

He's Invisible Boy from the movie Mystery Men. As long as nobody's paying any attention to him his powers work fine.

IBurnStuffAlot
Feb 25, 2008

:siren:DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN:siren:
I kinda can't believe that Vanek is a +4 with the Islanders so far. Now he just has to score some goals so I don't have to wear a Moulson avatar.

Darude - Adam Sandstorm
Aug 16, 2012

WTF MacT.

Cocaine Bear
Nov 4, 2011

ACAB

JoelJoel posted:

]1) If Bernier's save percentage is better than Reimer's was last year (.924) I will buy six sandwiches at Metro and hand them out to the homeless in downtown Ottawa (maybe video and upload, if I can find a way to do it without offending or identifying anyone). If he does surpass Reimer's save percentage I will simply donate $20 to a charity of PK loving SUBBAN or flakeloaf's choosing.

2) If John Tortorella has a job in Van-city come playoff time, I will snail mail a letter to the Canucks organization written in magic marker with my non-dominant hand telling them why they are the best hockey club in Canada (~250 words).

3) If (when) the Leafs miss the playoffs, I will eat one McDonals bacon cheeseburgers (with nothing but three toppings put forward by the next goon to toxx for anything leafs related any topping or sauce but relish) per point they are out of the playoffs (max 9) in one sitting, then likely proceed to projectile vomit through my nose and feel like poo poo for two days. YouTube vid (including puking if the three toppings are bad enough).

4) If any Leafs wins a major award I will buy a very tight fitting Ottawa shirsey and wear it for a whole weekend in the summer.

Bonus - If three of the four happen (Bernier save%, Torts still in Van, no leafs post season, a major leaf player award) I will pay for Kafka Esq. to assign me whatever awful avatar he should choose and buy him a decent one not praising a bigot.



Update!

1) loving Bernie being all good and such. I'd have a chance if the leafs wouldn't keep allowing 40 shots against per night. Currently sitting at .936 that should go down... right?
2) Stupid Luongon playing like a competent goalie. Better invest in some crayons.
3) Might be good on this one, but if those fancy stats catch up to them I'm in trouble.
4) Should be safe on this one. Though with my luck lately someone will win one of those "did lots of charity and stuff" awards.

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Zodijackylite posted:

RIP Rick Nash. Good thing I really like Brandon Dubinsky.

13 points in 16 games now.

Is there any story behind the text with your current avatar? He's rapidly becoming a favorite of mine (and, really, everybody in Columbus) and I'm picturing a wasted Dubi saying that in his voice.

Zodijackylite
Oct 18, 2005

hello bonjour, en francais we call the bread man l'homme de pain, because pain means bread and we're going to see a lot of pain this year and every nyrfan is looking forward to it and hey tony, can you wait until after my postgame interview to get on your phone? i thought you quit twitter...

CBJSprague24 posted:

13 points in 16 games now.

Is there any story behind the text with your current avatar? He's rapidly becoming a favorite of mine (and, really, everybody in Columbus) and I'm picturing a wasted Dubi saying that in his voice.

DO YALL WANT A BOXC put the avatar and text together on a whim. It rules.

DO YALL WANT A BOXC
Jul 20, 2010

HAHA! WOOOOOOO WOOO!
Fun Shoe

CBJSprague24 posted:

13 points in 16 games now.

Is there any story behind the text with your current avatar? He's rapidly becoming a favorite of mine (and, really, everybody in Columbus) and I'm picturing a wasted Dubi saying that in his voice.

back in the day, the key cog to the Rangers chances in 10/11 was Brandon Dubinsky. we were out of the playoffs and he was making GBS threads it up so i bought a bunch of dubitars for good luck. he's a lovable drunk shithead so i just looked up quotes he has actually said.

i do need a new avatar

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.

Twin Cinema posted:

I am going to make ten predictions, and the toxx clause will come into effect if less than half of these do not happen.

1. Tay Tay will finish top-5 in points
2. Clarkson will score 15 goals or less
3. Columbus will make the playoffs
4. Victor Hedman will receive at least one vote for the Norris
5. Tavares will score 50 goals
6. Philadelphia will be a bottom-5 team in the league
7. Fowler will rebound and score 30+ points
8. Franson will manage to put up 30+ points
9. Edmonton will continue improving, and will only miss the playoffs by five points (if they make the playoffs, this prediction is still a success)
10. Sidney Crosby will play over 75 games, and manage to replicate similar PPG totals as his previous three seasons, so will score at least 115 points.

All of these are just doubling down on predictions I have made in other threads. I haven't figured out the proper toxx yet. Probably just an avatar change.

I figure that I am going to continue doing monthly updates, mostly so I don't forget.

1. His PPG is down from last year. If he hadn't missed 7 games, he would be tied for 16th in points (provided he maintained his current PPG). Right now, he's tied for 66th. I still have faith, but he's gonna have to have a couple of big games.
2. Currently on pace for ~9 goals.
3. Too early to tell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A
4. I haven't seen him play this year, but he currently has a career high in PPG. If he maintains his pace for 47 points, he will get a vote.
5. I may have overestimated Tavares.
6. Looked like a good prediction after October, but then Philly had a good November. There's no way that Mason maintains his level of play. I won't be able to process it if he does.
7. On pace for 39 points.
8. Was on pace for 41 points, but is now out. However, it only looks to be day-to-day.
9. Just wait for Edmonton's monster push.
10. Currently on pace for 105 points. He went through a slow patch in early November, but has now put up 11 points in his past 8 games. I am not too worried about this prediction.

bub spank
Feb 1, 2005

the THRILL

burf posted:

Since I like the idea of multiple predictions, so I'm doing it too. If 5 or more of the following predictions are incorrect, I will get an avatar of SAS' choosing.

1. Erik Karlsson will finish in the top 3 for Norris voting.
2. Bobby Ryan will score at least 35 goals.
3. Clarke MacArthur will outscore David Clarkson.
4. Spezza will finish top-10 in scoring.
5. Ottawa will finish ahead of Detroit.
6. Winnipeg will finish 4th or higher in the Central division.
7. Yakupov will score at least 30 goals.
8. Canada will not make the 2014 Olympic men's hockey finals.
9. Taylor Hall will outscore John Tavares (gonna hedge this bet by saying in points-per-game, not total points).
10. Toronto and Anaheim will miss the playoffs.

If any of those seem too easy, let me know and I can swap the offending prediction to something else.

e: Removed 11th prediction, changed it to 5 or more wrong

1. Probably safe on this one. He hasn't been great, but he's leading all D-men in goals and points, and is 2nd in assists and TOI/game.
2. Bobby :q:
3. Clarke :q:
4. I really thought higher of Spezza before the season started. Ugh.
5. I really thought higher of Ottawa before the season started. Ugh.
6. Hahahahahaha
7. Ahahahahahaha
8. Still up in the air!
9. May have been a bit optimistic on this one
10. Anaheim is a completely different team than last year and their underlying numbers are really good (especially compared to last year's shitshow). On the other hand, Toronto has the worst possession numbers since they became a thing, and I really don't see their luck holding up through 82 games. I don't think there's any way Anaheim misses the playoffs.

Zodijackylite
Oct 18, 2005

hello bonjour, en francais we call the bread man l'homme de pain, because pain means bread and we're going to see a lot of pain this year and every nyrfan is looking forward to it and hey tony, can you wait until after my postgame interview to get on your phone? i thought you quit twitter...

Zodijackylite posted:

:toxx: If Brandon Dubinsky finishes the season with more points than Rick Nash I will get a Brandon Dubinsky avatar. I suppose it should probably be a new one since I'm over a year late on replacing the Rangers Dubitar.


15 points in 21 games


9 points in 10 games

Jordan7hm
Feb 17, 2011




Lipstick Apathy

Jordan7hm posted:

1) Philly will make the playoffs.
2) New York Islanders will not.
3) Alfredsson + Silfverberg will combine to outscore MacArthur + Ryan
4) Silfverberg individually will have more points than Bobby Ryan
5) Kyle Palmieri will score more than 25 goals.
6) Grabovski will spend the bulk of the year, including playoffs, as the third line center in Washington (based on usage / ice time / points) behind Brooks Laich, Nic Backstrom, or someone else. I'll leave it to Washington fans to determine whether or not this is accurate. Nulled in the case of injuries to Grabovski.
7) Schneider will post a .925 or better save % and start more than 50 games for Jersey.
8) They still won't make the playoffs.
9) Tuuka Rask will win the Vezina.
10) Phil the Thrill will leave Toronto either at or before the trade deadline, or during free agency next summer.
11) Dubnyk will post a .920 or better save % for Edmonton.
12) They still won't make the playoffs.
13) Sami Vatanen will finish top 3 in Calder voting.
14) Milan Michalek and Jason Spezza will combine to play less than 130 games (I know, this one is a real stretch).
15) Drew Doughty will score 20 or more goals.

If 5 or more of these do not come to pass, I'll donate 50$ to St Mary's, a local charity for pregnant teens.

1) The division sucks so maybe.
2) See #1.
3) I'd probably lose this one even if Silf were healthy.
4) See #3.
5) Not looking likely.
6) Up to Caps fans. It seems like he's in a 2/3 spot right now. We'll see how the season shakes out. He is producing like a #2 center though, even without the ice time.
7) Brodeur is having the best season he's had in like 5 years. Who loving knew all he needed was competition.
8) See #1.
9) Still think this is likely.
10) Nope.
11) Yikes.
12) This is right, at least.
13) Hell no.
14) They're actually on pace to beat that by a good margin. I have faith in broken knees and backs though.
15) Looking like he'll miss it, but he's shooting a lot so all it'll take is a good streak. He's not shooting 4% this year either, finally.

Brodeurs Nanny
Nov 2, 2006

i am not so sure posted:

If five or more of these Devils-related things do not happen, I will pay $10 and change my username to anything decided upon by the Rangers fan collective at SAS.

1. Brodeur plays 40 games
2. Jagr puts up 50 points
3. Lamoriello adds a former Devil player to the roster by the trade deadline
4. The total goals scored by the defense corps during the season will be more than 30
5. The Devils make the playoffs
6. Tedenby gets waived or traded
7. Anton Volchenkov gets traded
8. The powerplay is better percentage-wise than it was last year
9. The Devils advance to the second round
10. The Devils finish ahead of the Flyers

If the Devils miss the playoffs, the Rangers fan collective must develop an avatar for me (I will pay) involving the 1994 Rangers.

So let's see.

1. Still up in the air. Schneider is probably going to take the reins with the way he's playing but Marty has been pretty good, so he could still get to 40.
2. Unless he suffers a major injury, this is a given, he's been their best forward all year.
3. Still think this could definitely happen.
4. This will probably happen with Gelinas and Merrill playing great.
5. I still think they make it but it could go either way.
6. This could happen but probably not, considering he's on a one-year deal and they can just keep him in Albany.
7. I think this is going to happen because of Merrill emerging -- he's gotten better with each game, and DeBoer said he "played a hell of a game" against Buffalo. He's paired with Gelinas and they've been awesome together, and Lou said over and over that if a young player outplays a veteran, he will make roster space for them. He's not trading the captain so Volchenkov is certainly the odd man out here.
8. Close, but I think it's gonna be a little better. Again, Gelinas makes such a difference.
9. Highly doubt it.
10. Probable.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

Zodijackylite posted:


15 points in 21 games


9 points in 10 games

Yeah as long as Nash's head doesn't explode again, I think you're gonna be okay.

Shawn Cotureier
Jan 21, 2009

Still better than Umberger

Mayo and Catsup posted:

If at least one of the below does not happen, I will purchase an avatar and subtext of SAS choosing until the start of next season. It doesn't even have to be sports related.

1. Toronto will make it past the first round of the playoffs
2. No Flyers player will score more than 75 points.
3. The winner of this year's Hart Trophy will be player that has never won the award before.
4. Canada will NOT win the gold medal in the Olympics.
5. Columbus makes the playoffs.

The avatar and subtext will have to be forum appropriate.

EDIT: Screw it, let's add some more

1. Ugh, they're 5th in the division and are still 4 games above .500, not feeling so confident about this one
2. Giroux is their points leader and is only on pace for 57 pts so far, if my math is right. I wouldn't be shocked if it's wrong.
3. Crosby and Malkin are in the lead, both have won before
4. Too soon to tell
5. HAHAHAHA this is hosed

The Golden Man
Aug 4, 2007

feelin good

Zodijackylite
Oct 18, 2005

hello bonjour, en francais we call the bread man l'homme de pain, because pain means bread and we're going to see a lot of pain this year and every nyrfan is looking forward to it and hey tony, can you wait until after my postgame interview to get on your phone? i thought you quit twitter...

VJeff posted:

Yeah as long as Nash's head doesn't explode again, I think you're gonna be okay.

I could just change the colors and text of my current avatar.

FUCK COREY PERRY
Apr 19, 2008



gently caress COREY PERRY posted:

Hmm I actually thought his PIM was generally lower than it apparently has been. I'm changing mine to if he gets more points than PIM the toxx kicks in.

e: I just realized he has literally never even done that. Just to make it a little more risky for me then, part of this toxx is me assigning some pro-Corey Perry avatars to random SAS NHL posters.

Go elbow some people you slimy gently caress. 29 GP, 15 G, 29 P, 26 PIM.

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Zodijackylite posted:


15 points in 21 games


9 points in 10 games

Dubi's been out the last couple of games, so he's allowed Nash some time to catch up. He comes back tonight, though.

HOW COULD YOU
Jun 1, 2006

The man in black fled across Middle Tennessee, and Pierre followed.

HOW COULD YOU posted:

If detroit is leading the atlantic division by 2 or more points or is leading/tied for leading the eastern conference at christmas time, I'll change my avatar to something along the lines of "western conference supremacy/west coast best coast".

I'm sitting ok so far

Cocaine Bear
Nov 4, 2011

ACAB

JoelJoel posted:

]1) If Bernier's save percentage is better than Reimer's was last year (.924) I will buy six sandwiches at Metro and hand them out to the homeless in downtown Ottawa (maybe video and upload, if I can find a way to do it without offending or identifying anyone). If he does surpass Reimer's save percentage I will simply donate $20 to a charity of PK loving SUBBAN or flakeloaf's choosing.

2) If John Tortorella has a job in Van-city come playoff time, I will snail mail a letter to the Canucks organization written in magic marker with my non-dominant hand telling them why they are the best hockey club in Canada (~250 words).

3) If (when) the Leafs miss the playoffs, I will eat one McDonals bacon cheeseburgers (with nothing but three toppings put forward by the next goon to toxx for anything leafs related any topping or sauce but relish) per point they are out of the playoffs (max 9) in one sitting, then likely proceed to projectile vomit through my nose and feel like poo poo for two days. YouTube vid (including puking if the three toppings are bad enough).

4) If any Leafs wins a major award I will buy a very tight fitting Ottawa shirsey and wear it for a whole weekend in the summer.

Bonus - If three of the four happen (Bernier save%, Torts still in Van, no leafs post season, a major leaf player award) I will pay for Kafka Esq. to assign me whatever awful avatar he should choose and buy him a decent one not praising a bigot.


e: woops, hit edit instead of quote.

1 - .931 at present. loving Bernie

2 - He could still strangle a reporter and be dismissed. Van city is playing half decent but my god the West. gently caress.

3 - Well, they ended the 5 game slide, so I've got that going for me.

4 - Finally a safe prediction.

Still no picks for my toppings. A bit uneasy about that.

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.

JoelJoel posted:

Still no picks for my toppings. A bit uneasy about that.

Give us a list of possible toppings.

Twin Cinema posted:

I am going to make ten predictions, and the toxx clause will come into effect if less than half of these do not happen.

1. Tay Tay will finish top-5 in points
2. Clarkson will score 15 goals or less
3. Columbus will make the playoffs
4. Victor Hedman will receive at least one vote for the Norris
5. Tavares will score 50 goals
6. Philadelphia will be a bottom-5 team in the league
7. Fowler will rebound and score 30+ points
8. Franson will manage to put up 30+ points
9. Edmonton will continue improving, and will only miss the playoffs by five points (if they make the playoffs, this prediction is still a success)
10. Sidney Crosby will play over 75 games, and manage to replicate similar PPG totals as his previous three seasons, so will score at least 115 points.

1. Despite missing seven games, Hall is slowly climbing up the points board. He is currently 18th, but if he scored at his current PPG pace for those seven missing games, he would be 4th.
2. This one is getting sad.
3. The Metropolitan division is starting to separate, and Columbus is getting left behind.
4. Likely at this point, although who knows?
5. On pace to score ~30 goals. I am going to miss badly. I thought last year's pace was a sign of things to come.
6. This one is looking less likely with each passing month.
7. He already has 25 points. Barring an injury, he will hit this mark. Let it be known that I was right about Cam Fowler!
8. He has 20 points, will probably hit 30 points.
9. Hahaha.
10. On pace to hit exactly 115 points. I thought he would have about ten more points by this point.

Pat Clements
Feb 10, 2008
Get your avatar ideas ready, folks, for at the halfway point of the 2013-14 NHL season Scott Gomez has 5 points.

fits
Jan 1, 2008

Love Always,
The Captain
Yakupov and Tarasenko: Same GP, but Tarasenko has 7 more points

Calgary is 3 points ahead of edmonton, with two games in hand

:negative:

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

VJeff posted:



Hahahahahahahahahahahah :v:

He's down to 35th place. :munch:

Verviticus
Mar 13, 2006

I'm just a total piece of shit and I'm not sure why I keep posting on this site. Christ, I have spent years with idiots giving me bad advice about online dating and haven't noticed that the thread I'm in selects for people that can't talk to people worth a damn.

JoelJoel posted:

2 - He could still strangle a reporter and be cheered as a hero by the fanbase and given the key to the city

Shyfted One
May 9, 2008

Shyfted One posted:

Shoeonhead22 and I have a $20 charity bet for where the Jackets place in the league at the end of the season.

Bottom 3rd (21-30) then Shoeonhead22 wins and I give $20 to whatever charity he wants. 1-20 and I pick a charity for him.

I've got my $20 safely put away

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

canuckanese posted:

If the Bruins do not win their division I will use a Habs-related avatar of HAS's choosing until the beginning of the 2014-15 season. Or any avatar, as long as it's hockey oriented really.

If Tyler Seguin leads the Dallas Stars to a Stanley Cup victory I will get his face tattooed on my rear end.

1. Ehhh, probably still a decent bet.
2. Ty Ty is tearing it up but there's a pretty great chance they won't make the playoffs, so I think I'm good here.

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock

Sens are only five points behind the Wings for the last Eastern wild card spot.

:ohdear:

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Twin Cinema posted:

3. The Metropolitan division is starting to separate, and Columbus is getting left behind.

The next couple weeks will be big for this one, as the CBJ are set to get Horton, Calvert, Prout, and Bob back all within the next few days.

Rene Rancourt
Mar 26, 2007

Was my contract good for you, too?

Shoeonhead22 posted:

I'll toxx myself on the under of this:
If Sidney Crosby plays over 72 games (edit: during the regular season) I will change my forum name to whatever flyinglemur or Vigilance chooses.

Separate toxx:
If Toronto makes it further than Montreal in the playoffs I will change my avatar to whatever Twin Cinema or Paulocaust chooses.

Both have to be acceptable by the forum rules, I'm not changing my name to something racist and/or changing my avatar into a penis. I'll keep whatever changes happen until the playoffs of the following season.

Toxx 1: So far I'm failing miserably, all the Pens except Crosby got injured. However,


Toxx 2: Doin good! Toronto is almost out of a spot, which is good because the Habs are going to get swept

Shyfted One posted:

Shoeonhead22 and I have a $20 charity bet for where the Jackets place in the league at the end of the season.

Bottom 3rd (21-30) then Shoeonhead22 wins and I give $20 to whatever charity he wants. 1-20 and I pick a charity for him.


Toxx 3: Doing good on this one too, however it's still pretty tight downstairs

LumpyGumby
Feb 22, 2012

"Here's the world famous hockey player sitting in the penalty box for slashing..."
-Snoopy Brown
42g - 65a - 107pts
106gp - 317PIMS

LumpyGumby posted:

I predict the Avs will finish higher than the Calgary Flames. If they do not, I will take every point the Flames beat the Avs, multiply it by 10, and donate the amount to a charity of the collective SAS hive mind's choice, with a cap of 200 bucks (Hey, I'm kind of broke as it is). If the Avs finish ahead of the Flames, I will donate the amount of points they are from the last team in the west, times ten, to the charity, again, a 200 cap.

A minimum of 50 dollars will be donated just in case they end up tied, or something.







Phooooo

Shyfted One
May 9, 2008
Those aren't the Flames. But I think you're good anyway.

DOOMocrat
Oct 2, 2003

Kari only needs to play eight more games and I'm out of the woods on mine.

This is still worrying.

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006

Shyfted One posted:

Those aren't the Flames. But I think you're good anyway.

They're ahead of the Flames, so his toxx becomes the distance between the Avalanche and last place.

He probably should have the Flames in the picture too though.

Drunk Canuck
Jan 9, 2010

Robots ruin all the fun of a good adventure.

Mid-season checkup!

Drunk Canuck posted:

If the Leafs fail to be a 9th or lower seed at the end of the 2013-2014 National Hockey League season, I will purchase one (1) pro-Randy Carlyle avatar on his excellence as a professional hockey coach.


Alternatively, if David Clarkson reaches a goals total of or over 25, I will take my time and effort to post a player evaluation thread for each goal scored by him. Including any playoff games, should they happen.


If Tyler Bozak succeeds in outscoring noted 3rd line centre Mikhail Grabovski, using my talents and connections, I will produce a ballad with accompanying music video of Leafs Nation's adoration for the centre iceman from Regina, Saskatchewan.


Should all of these toxxes come through; Leafs playoffs, Clarkson >=25 Goals, Bozak > Grabovski. I will purchase a jersey of SAS's choosing and perform a soapbox confession in Dundas Square in downtown Toronto of how I'm a dumbass advanced stats geek that doesn't know a single lick about hockey sense.
This punishment overrides avatar purchase, Clarkson thread, Bozak music video.

Leafs sitting in 8th with 47 points after 44 games. Carolina and Washington are behind 2 points with a game in hand. Cautiously optimistic about not making the playoffs.
-

Grabovski: 40GP 11G 19A 30P
Bozak: 20 GP 6G 11A 17P
Very optimistic about Grabbo.
-

Clarkson: 31GP 3G 5A 8P
Holy poo poo what a terrible signing you are.

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006

Bozak does have the better PPG...

Drunk Canuck
Jan 9, 2010

Robots ruin all the fun of a good adventure.

He's not catching up with Grabovski, don't even try to fool reality.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006

Oh I don't think he'll catch up, but if he retains a better PPG I think we deserve something musical.

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