NHL Toxxes 13-14: Put Your Trust in Scott Gomez

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NHL Toxxes 13-14: Put Your Trust in Scott Gomez

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

flakeloaf posted:

If the Wings make it farther than the Sens do in the postseason, I'll buy a Garrioch avatar, not replace it until the end of the 14-15 season, and refrain from speaking a word against Sun Media's contribution to journalism while I have it.

On that I suppose I should probably change this av because it's an ugly abortion.

This is my favorite toxx. I'll do something similar.

If the Sens make it farther than the Wings do in the postseason, I'll buy the fattest, ugliest avatar of Garrioch that I can find and not replace it until the end of the 14-15 season. I still won't refrain from speaking against their horrible journalistic standards though.

I have some other ones as well:

1) Philly will make the playoffs.
2) New York Islanders will not.
3) Alfredsson + Silfverberg will combine to outscore MacArthur + Ryan
4) Silfverberg individually will have more points than Bobby Ryan
5) Kyle Palmieri will score more than 25 goals.
6) Grabovski will spend the bulk of the year, including playoffs, as the third line center in Washington (based on usage / ice time / points) behind Brooks Laich, Nic Backstrom, or someone else. I'll leave it to Washington fans to determine whether or not this is accurate. Nulled in the case of injuries to Grabovski.
7) Schneider will post a .925 or better save % and start more than 50 games for Jersey.
8) They still won't make the playoffs.
9) Tuuka Rask will win the Vezina.
10) Phil the Thrill will leave Toronto either at or before the trade deadline, or during free agency next summer.
11) Dubnyk will post a .920 or better save % for Edmonton.
12) They still won't make the playoffs.
13) Sami Vatanen will finish top 3 in Calder voting.
14) Milan Michalek and Jason Spezza will combine to play less than 130 games (I know, this one is a real stretch).
15) Drew Doughty will score 20 or more goals.

If 5 or more of these do not come to pass, I'll donate 50$ to St Mary's, a local charity for pregnant teens.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2013 15:52

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 03:50

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Jordan7hm posted:

1) Philly will make the playoffs.
2) New York Islanders will not.
3) Alfredsson + Silfverberg will combine to outscore MacArthur + Ryan
4) Silfverberg individually will have more points than Bobby Ryan
5) Kyle Palmieri will score more than 25 goals.
6) Grabovski will spend the bulk of the year, including playoffs, as the third line center in Washington (based on usage / ice time / points) behind Brooks Laich, Nic Backstrom, or someone else. I'll leave it to Washington fans to determine whether or not this is accurate. Nulled in the case of injuries to Grabovski.
7) Schneider will post a .925 or better save % and start more than 50 games for Jersey.
8) They still won't make the playoffs.
9) Tuuka Rask will win the Vezina.
10) Phil the Thrill will leave Toronto either at or before the trade deadline, or during free agency next summer.
11) Dubnyk will post a .920 or better save % for Edmonton.
12) They still won't make the playoffs.
13) Sami Vatanen will finish top 3 in Calder voting.
14) Milan Michalek and Jason Spezza will combine to play less than 130 games (I know, this one is a real stretch).
15) Drew Doughty will score 20 or more goals.

1) Yikes. That said, they're only 6 points out of a playoff spot (assuming 3 teams from the Glen division).
2) Still very much up in the air. This division is awful, but so is their goalie.
3) 13 + 7 (20) vs 8 + 14 (22). The injury to Silf hurts, but this one should be pretty close.
4) Not gonna happen
5) On pace for 18.9. I think this is still doable, but he needs more ice time for it to happen.
6) Center ice time: Backstrom, Laich, Johansson, Grabbo. I think this one will likely end up being the case.
7) Looks like he'll get the 50 games, but not sure he'll get the .925.
8) Probably going to miss. Though, same qualification as for Philly. This is a maybe.
9) Certainly the front runner.
10) Nope.
11) His rough start still has him at .911. This one is doable.
12) Haha yep.
13) Doubt it. He'd need to majorly turn it on.
14) They're on pace to play more, but I think this one still happens.
15) On pace for 21 goals.

2 for sure nos (Phil, Silf v BRyan). 13 maybes. 1 yes (Edmonton is missing).

# ¿ Nov 4, 2013 17:41

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Jordan7hm posted:

1) Philly will make the playoffs.
2) New York Islanders will not.
3) Alfredsson + Silfverberg will combine to outscore MacArthur + Ryan
4) Silfverberg individually will have more points than Bobby Ryan
5) Kyle Palmieri will score more than 25 goals.
6) Grabovski will spend the bulk of the year, including playoffs, as the third line center in Washington (based on usage / ice time / points) behind Brooks Laich, Nic Backstrom, or someone else. I'll leave it to Washington fans to determine whether or not this is accurate. Nulled in the case of injuries to Grabovski.
7) Schneider will post a .925 or better save % and start more than 50 games for Jersey.
8) They still won't make the playoffs.
9) Tuuka Rask will win the Vezina.
10) Phil the Thrill will leave Toronto either at or before the trade deadline, or during free agency next summer.
11) Dubnyk will post a .920 or better save % for Edmonton.
12) They still won't make the playoffs.
13) Sami Vatanen will finish top 3 in Calder voting.
14) Milan Michalek and Jason Spezza will combine to play less than 130 games (I know, this one is a real stretch).
15) Drew Doughty will score 20 or more goals.

If 5 or more of these do not come to pass, I'll donate 50$ to St Mary's, a local charity for pregnant teens.

1) The division sucks so maybe.
2) See #1.
3) I'd probably lose this one even if Silf were healthy.
4) See #3.
5) Not looking likely.
6) Up to Caps fans. It seems like he's in a 2/3 spot right now. We'll see how the season shakes out. He is producing like a #2 center though, even without the ice time.
7) Brodeur is having the best season he's had in like 5 years. Who loving knew all he needed was competition.
8) See #1.
9) Still think this is likely.
10) Nope.
11) Yikes.
12) This is right, at least.
13) Hell no.
14) They're actually on pace to beat that by a good margin. I have faith in broken knees and backs though.
15) Looking like he'll miss it, but he's shooting a lot so all it'll take is a good streak. He's not shooting 4% this year either, finally.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2013 22:24

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

VJeff posted:

Don't misconstrue my meaning, I'm not at all adverse to writing for a shitload of goalies, I knew that was a possibility from the second I made the toxx and the whole reason I made the toxx was so I could make something funny in the offseason that'd hopefully amuse me and others, I just don't think "AHL third stringer type who had to come in when the starter and backup were unavailable for a couple games" is a very funny joke after the first time you tell it.

Using whatever filter the NHL website uses when you search for sv% leaders makes sense. He's only 31st on that list, so really you're only looking at like ~7500 words.

e:

Mine:

1) Philly will make the playoffs. I think this one will come true
2) New York Islanders will not. also this, but that'll change if they get a goalie
3) Alfredsson + Silfverberg will combine to outscore MacArthur + Ryan no
4) Silfverberg individually will have more points than Bobby Ryan no
5) Kyle Palmieri will score more than 25 goals. gently caress
6) Grabovski will spend the bulk of the year, including playoffs, as the third line center in Washington (based on usage / ice time / points) behind Brooks Laich, Nic Backstrom, or someone else. I'll leave it to Washington fans to determine whether or not this is accurate. Nulled in the case of injuries to Grabovski. 12th on the team in ice time, I dunno?
7) Schneider will post a .925 or better save % and start more than 50 games for Jersey. nope, though still possible I guess
8) They still won't make the playoffs. Metro division
9) Tuuka Rask will win the Vezina. I think this one is probable, though Price has a shot too
10) Phil the Thrill will leave Toronto either at or before the trade deadline, or during free agency next summer. nope
11) Dubnyk will post a .920 or better save % for Edmonton. hahahaha
12) They still won't make the playoffs. got this one at least
13) Sami Vatanen will finish top 3 in Calder voting. nope
14) Milan Michalek and Jason Spezza will combine to play less than 130 games (I know, this one is a real stretch).I think this one is going to be wrong, shockingly
15) Drew Doughty will score 20 or more goals.nope

I better get my money ready, I was wayyyyy off on some of these.

Jordan7hm fucked around with this message at 04:10 on Jan 12, 2014

# ¿ Jan 12, 2014 04:06

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

That is a Ducks logo (hideous) and thus clearly a Ducks shirsey with super cool (hideous) olympic colours. I say it counts.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 18:09

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

I am going to lose my toxx. Better get my wallet ready.

quote:

If the Sens make it farther than the Wings do in the postseason, I'll buy the fattest, ugliest avatar of Garrioch that I can find and not replace it until the end of the 14-15 season. I still won't refrain from speaking against their horrible journalistic standards though.

I have some other ones as well:

1) Philly will make the playoffs.
2) New York Islanders will not.
3) Alfredsson + Silfverberg will combine to outscore MacArthur + Ryan
4) Silfverberg individually will have more points than Bobby Ryan
5) Kyle Palmieri will score more than 25 goals.
6) Grabovski will spend the bulk of the year, including playoffs, as the third line center in Washington (based on usage / ice time / points) behind Brooks Laich, Nic Backstrom, or someone else. I'll leave it to Washington fans to determine whether or not this is accurate. Nulled in the case of injuries to Grabovski.
7) Schneider will post a .925 or better save % and start more than 50 games for Jersey.
8) They still won't make the playoffs.
9) Tuuka Rask will win the Vezina.
10) Phil the Thrill will leave Toronto either at or before the trade deadline, or during free agency next summer.
11) Dubnyk will post a .920 or better save % for Edmonton.
12) They still won't make the playoffs.
13) Sami Vatanen will finish top 3 in Calder voting.
14) Milan Michalek and Jason Spezza will combine to play less than 130 games (I know, this one is a real stretch).
15) Drew Doughty will score 20 or more goals.

If 5 or more of these do not come to pass, I'll donate 50$ to St Mary's, a local charity for pregnant teens.

At least I don't think I'll need a Garrioch avatar.

1) Yep
2) Yep
3) Nooope
4) Nope
5) Nope
6) 4th center on the team in TOI, less than 16 mins per game. I think I get this one, but not my call.
7) He won't hit either.
8) They won't make it though.
9) I think he will.
10) Nope
11) Hahahahahahaha
12) Ezpz
13) Nope
14) What in the christ
15) Nope

Jordan7hm fucked around with this message at 19:18 on Mar 21, 2014

# ¿ Mar 21, 2014 19:13

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Duke Chin posted:

It shoul be a tattoo of Roy with his three (3) Stanley Cup rings in his ears. I'll leave it up to you to decide what/how that 3rd ring is being suspended and inserted into his ear.

If they win it'd be his fifth cup.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2014 14:09

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Hand Knit posted:

It's funny because he's been the best offensive D in hockey this year, is probably going to put two unexceptional rookies in the top 5 for Calder voting, but will still get ignored for no particular reason.

How is he the best offensive D in hockey this year when he trails the leading defenseman by almost 20 points? Even if you're going to the possession stats, his numbers aren't better than Karlsson's.

As for two unexceptional rookies: Palat and Johnson are legitimately good regardless of Victor Hedman, as evidenced by their entire careers up to this point (particularly Johnson, but Palat was close to PPG last year in his second season in the AHL... and they got to play with St. Louis for most of the year).

# ¿ Apr 17, 2014 17:49

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Hand Knit posted:

Karlsson's entire point advantage comes exclusively from 2nd assists, most of which are on a powerplay where he gets nearly twice as many minutes as Hedman. At even strength, Karlsson accumulate primary points at almost the same rate as Dustin Byfuglien (1.24 and 1.23 per 60 minutes, respectively), a very far cry from the 1.39 per 60 minutes managed by Hedman.

Both Palat and Johnson go from players who post middling possession numbers with more heavily offensive zone starts without Hedman to very strong possession players with more defensive zone starts with Hedman. Without him they likely aren't even thought of as Calder candidates in any length, part of the mass of rookies who come up, are thought of well by their teams fans, but not really noticed by the rest of the league.

Wait, so your argument is that Karlsson's points don't count?

His possession numbers are pretty much identical to Hedman's. His ES scoring is roughly the same, a little bit better. He plays on the PP because he produces on the PP. He plays more ice time because Ottawa sucks, but also because he can mostly handle the minutes. You can't say "well, if X played twice as much they would produce twice as much", because that leads to us claiming that Ryan Stanton is a quality offensive defenseman.

This is seriously a pretty nuts argument. The guy deserves votes, but he isn't better than Karlsson offensively. Hell, he isn't better than Duncan Keith either (your arguments for Hedman are an argument for why Keith is better than Hedman offensively).

As for Palat and Johnson - what are you even arguing? That Hedman's defensive zone starts in some way affected their offensive zone starts? They were second and third in rookie scoring, no poo poo they're going to get votes for the Calder. And anyone who paid attention to Tampa's farm team the last couple years knew that Johnson and Palat had huge potential.

e:

Oh yeah this is the toxx thread. So...

1) Philly will make the playoffs. win
2) New York Islanders will not. win
3) Alfredsson + Silfverberg will combine to outscore MacArthur + Ryan loss
4) Silfverberg individually will have more points than Bobby Ryan loss
5) Kyle Palmieri will score more than 25 goals. loss
6) Grabovski will spend the bulk of the year, including playoffs, as the third line center in Washington (based on usage / ice time / points) behind Brooks Laich, Nic Backstrom, or someone else. I'll leave it to Washington fans to determine whether or not this is accurate. Nulled in the case of injuries to Grabovski. win, and my justification is below
7) Schneider will post a .925 or better save % and start more than 50 games for Jersey. loss, but close
8) They still won't make the playoffs. win
9) Tuuka Rask will win the Vezina. dunno but probably
10) Phil the Thrill will leave Toronto either at or before the trade deadline, or during free agency next summer. loss but i guess possible still
11) Dubnyk will post a .920 or better save % for Edmonton. oh lord
12) They still won't make the playoffs. win
13) Sami Vatanen will finish top 3 in Calder voting. loss
14) Milan Michalek and Jason Spezza will combine to play less than 130 games (I know, this one is a real stretch).... loss
15) Drew Doughty will score 20 or more goals.loss

code:

19.24%	EV	25 CHIMERA,JASON - 84 GRABOVSKI,MIKHAIL - 42 WARD,JOEL
18.13%	EV	20 BROUWER,TROY - 16 FEHR,ERIC - 84 GRABOVSKI,MIKHAIL
10.25%	EV	20 BROUWER,TROY - 84 GRABOVSKI,MIKHAIL - 21 LAICH,BROOKS

Anyway, I lost more than enough to pay up to a charity, so I did that today. Proof below.

Jordan7hm fucked around with this message at 18:22 on Apr 17, 2014

# ¿ Apr 17, 2014 18:12

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

PK loving SUBBAN posted:

I mean, maybe Subban was "over voted" to get the Norris last year but he doesn't even have a single vote for Norris this year. I mean, he still put up 53pts, good for 6th in defenceman scoring.

That's really strange, because normally Montreal guys get a handful of ridiculous homer votes. See: Theodore, Jose.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2014 14:50

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 03:50

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

If there are no pictures, it didn't happen. Crumpled up wrappers don't mean anything.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 16:46

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