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More of a cleaning cockup, but I dropped a mortar on my toes this morning without protection. Amazed they aren't broken
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Jun 1, 2014 21:22
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Jose posted:Amazed they aren't broken Oh, they make very sturdy mortars these days.
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Jun 2, 2014 01:40
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Cooked breakfast in the morning on the stove with the kitchen blinds open so couldn't see the flame at all and forgot to turn it off. Chucked something in the slow cooker a few hours later, and then 8 hours after that I put the slow cooker lid on the stove next to it to evaporate some of the excess liquid. Gross chemical stench of burning plastic met my nose from the next room over and had spread all through the house. I put the lid, with plastic handle, right on top of the still-lit stove and melted the poo poo out of it. Luckily no food was ruined, but I stank the house out and now I have no handle for the bloody slow cooker lid and need to lever it out with a spoon and an oven mitt to avoid burning myself.
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Aug 15, 2014 06:30
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Glue gun to rescue?
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Aug 15, 2014 22:30
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A former housemate of mine did that with the lid to his breadmaker, except it was an electric stove and a case of "which dial which burner" confusion. When he found out the twisted wreckage still technically fit on the breadmaker, he shrugged and kept using it. All subsequent bread tasted like plastic, a fact that he would always strongly deny.
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Aug 16, 2014 00:04
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I think you want some sugru
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Aug 16, 2014 01:14
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crowtribe posted:Cooked breakfast in the morning on the stove with the kitchen blinds open so couldn't see the flame at all and forgot to turn it off. I set an electric kettle on a smoothtop electric stove once when I had a brainfart. It had a rubber base on it. When it started smoking I threw it in the sink but we had to air the house out for a whole day. Pee-eww.
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Aug 18, 2014 14:10
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I've been learning how to gluten-free bake, and it's led to a whole lot of failures. I started using xanthan gum with great results, and decided to use it to improve my chocolate chip cookies. More=better right? I added over a teaspoon. They tasted okay, but the mouthfeel was like literal cookie bubblegum. I don't know why I thought that would work.
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Aug 19, 2014 04:25
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add more and actually make chocolate chip cookie gum
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Aug 19, 2014 04:29
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Tried to make rice-cooker pancakes. Did not make rice-cooker pancakes. Also no longer own a rice-cooker.
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Sep 3, 2014 06:55
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I'm terrible at cakes, especially frosting them. So, for my birthday this year, I decided to make myself a cake for some practice. It was going to be fairly simple: just a two layer cake covered in buttercream rosettes. I still managed to mess it up by making the buttercream too stiff to work with, and by the time I had the bottom half of the cake covered in sickly looking roses I had burst two piping bags and thrown the second at the wall. At that point, my girlfriend, who knows less about frosting than even I do, stepped in and told me to take it easy for a while - she would find a way to fix it up and make it all look nice. Apparently her plan was to turn the buttercream into a glaze and redden it up by adding a bunch of milk and red food coloring, then pour it over the top of the cake to make it look like there was blood dripping down over the roses. Which would have been pretty cool, very House Tyrell, if it had worked. Unfortunately,  buttercream does not work that way.
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Sep 3, 2014 22:28
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crowtribe posted:Tried to make rice-cooker pancakes. Can you elaborate on this a bit? I've seen the articles online about rice cooker pancakes and am tempted to do it but also worried about somehow loving up my rice cooker (and also the pancakes looking nothing like the photos I've seen online and generally being a massive failure).
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Sep 3, 2014 23:11
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cyberia posted:Can you elaborate on this a bit? I've seen the articles online about rice cooker pancakes and am tempted to do it but also worried about somehow loving up my rice cooker (and also the pancakes looking nothing like the photos I've seen online and generally being a massive failure). Have you considered using a pan? Temperature control is pretty important for any kind of pancake, and rice cookers are simply not that flexible or precise.
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Sep 4, 2014 00:04
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SymmetryrtemmyS posted:Have you considered using a pan? Temperature control is pretty important for any kind of pancake, and rice cookers are simply not that flexible or precise. It's a thing in Japan. The only reason I want to try it is for the novelty of making a cake-shaped pancake that I can slice up to serve to my friends. If I wanted actual pancakes I'd just make them the old-fashioned way.
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Sep 4, 2014 00:07
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SymmetryrtemmyS posted:rice cookers are simply not that flexible or precise. The fancy asian style ones are specifically designed to be flexible and precise, though. I make these kinds of stuff in my rice cooker all the time.
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Sep 4, 2014 00:13
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Goddamn! That looks more like meatloaf than those mashed potato frosted meat cakes.
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Sep 4, 2014 15:29
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Esme posted:I'm terrible at cakes, especially frosting them. So, for my birthday this year, I decided to make myself a cake for some practice. It was going to be fairly simple: just a two layer cake covered in buttercream rosettes. I still managed to mess it up by making the buttercream too stiff to work with, and by the time I had the bottom half of the cake covered in sickly looking roses I had burst two piping bags and thrown the second at the wall. At that point, my girlfriend, who knows less about frosting than even I do, stepped in and told me to take it easy for a while - she would find a way to fix it up and make it all look nice. Best Gwar cake I've ever seen!
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Sep 6, 2014 04:12
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- Mum made what was shaping up to be a really delicious butternut squash soup. It smelled delicious, the texture was perfect, beautiful orange colour. But holy gently caress was it spicy. "What did you put in it????" "Four teaspoons of paprika. The recipe said." I gamely ploughed on, and I did manage to finish it eventually (I enjoy my spicy foods...to a point) but my dad had about one spoonful before he looked like he was going to throw up. Is paprika usually so spicy? - I also attempted, when I was about 13, to make bread using prepackaged wholegrain bread mix. Everything's right there, how could it go wrong? Even though I swear I followed every instruction to the letter, it came out like a knobbly cinderblock. It didn't rise at all and was the approximate flavour and texture of a block of styrofoam. I have not made bread since. - This last one isn't strictly 'cooking' as such, but last time I got the flu and had a really bunged up nose, I got mum to give me one of those tiger balm in a bowl of boiling water steam things because they really work to clear congestion. She'd apparently seen on some tv programme somewhere that turmeric works even better for a blocked nose. Apparently she put about a tablespoon of turmeric powder into the bowl. So, groggy me gets under the nice clean white towel expecting refreshingly minty steam, take a sniff, and immediately vomit into the bowl. We threw out the towel.
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Sep 7, 2014 03:38
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I have a suspicion the "paprika" was cayenne powder.
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Sep 7, 2014 03:48
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Aristophanes posted:- Mum made what was shaping up to be a really delicious butternut squash soup. It smelled delicious, the texture was perfect, beautiful orange colour. But holy gently caress was it spicy. Half a cup of paprika in a pan of stew isn't even hot, I also think that you got some sort of pepper instead. And for clarification, hot or not, all that paprika sure will make you feel like your insides are full of broken glass an hour or two after you finish eating the whole stew My first attempt at making a fried PB&J sandwich failed miserably. I forgot that the sandwich would be thicker than a single slice of bread and cooked it on waaaaay too hot of a heat. I got a perfectly browned outside, but a lukewarm, soggy, eggy inside. I ruined half a loaf of bread.....
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Sep 7, 2014 04:57
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I share the suspicion that it may have been cayenne pepper or something, but we'll never know. We have both in the pantry. Also ^^ how many sandwiches were you making?
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Sep 7, 2014 05:06
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Only 3, but once I realized my mistake, I had to make all them again.....
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Sep 7, 2014 05:29
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CrazySalamander posted:I have a suspicion the "paprika" was cayenne powder. Paprika comes in two forms: sweet and hot. The hot stuff can be hotter than cayenne. For whatever reason, it's not very obvious at a glance which is which with most brands. The packaging is usually nearly identical, and most brands go for word salad overload with small letters and not a lot of color contrast. There's a third type, smoked paprika, but I've never seen a use for it. Red bag Doritos and deviled eggs are good examples of using hot paprika. Chicken paprikash is a good example of sweet paprika. Similar to that dude, I made the world's worst chicken paprikash with (accidental!) hot paprika once; it was terrible, and made all the more shameful by having been really good before I added the powdered sweat of Satan's balls. The takeaway lesson here: read the label before adding any ingredient, even if you are sure you know what it is. Splizwarf fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Sep 7, 2014 |
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Sep 7, 2014 06:47
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Esme posted:I'm terrible at cakes, especially frosting them. So, for my birthday this year, I decided to make myself a cake for some practice. It was going to be fairly simple: just a two layer cake covered in buttercream rosettes. I still managed to mess it up by making the buttercream too stiff to work with, and by the time I had the bottom half of the cake covered in sickly looking roses I had burst two piping bags and thrown the second at the wall. At that point, my girlfriend, who knows less about frosting than even I do, stepped in and told me to take it easy for a while - she would find a way to fix it up and make it all look nice. 
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Sep 7, 2014 07:51
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Splizwarf posted:There's a third type, smoked paprika, but I've never seen a use for it. Smoked paprika is delicious in goulash and is really good for making dry rubs for chicken.
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Sep 7, 2014 09:32
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It's also great in jambalaya if you have difficulty in getting proper andouille. Also I too accidentally made a chicken paprikash with hot once and it turned out pretty good. It was very good paprika though, I got it in Budapest.
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Sep 7, 2014 09:47
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Yeah - Hot Paprika can be stupidly hot. My Aunt kept trying a Goulash recipe, first time going by recipe made it way too hot for anyone, second time with half paprika ended up being too hot for me (I have a lower Spicy tolerance), the third time was 1/4th the hot paprika and the rest sweet paprika and it was actually tolerable.
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Sep 7, 2014 16:02
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axolotl farmer posted:Smoked paprika is delicious in goulash and is really good for making dry rubs for chicken. I also like a little bit in my chili
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Sep 7, 2014 19:25
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Aristophanes posted:- I also attempted, when I was about 13, to make bread using prepackaged wholegrain bread mix. Everything's right there, how could it go wrong? If you want to try a quick bread (like scones, or soda bread) before attempting a yeasted loaf, give it a shot. It really isn't hard at all.
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Sep 8, 2014 12:47
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dino. posted:Whole grain brad is going to taste like cardboard regardless. It's disgusting stuff. If you feel so strongly about it then you and Brad should probably take a break, maybe see other people. Whole grain bread often tastes nutty and complex. White bread often tastes like paper or wood glue, or just plain nothing.
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Sep 8, 2014 16:58
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Splizwarf posted:If you feel so strongly about it then you and Brad should probably take a break, maybe see other people. To be fair, American whole wheat bread only means that it has 51% whole wheat flour, which is usually just regular white flour with the wheat bran added back in after the bleaching process. If you get home made, fresh baked, whole grain bread, it has that amazingly complex flavor you're describing and a great texture, but 99% of store bought stuff is tough, grainy cardboard that has had the little sweet flavor that white bread has traded for what can only be described as sand. It is truly a shame
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Sep 8, 2014 17:14
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They're both fine. It's manufactured breads that taste like cardboard and I'll cut anyone who says otherwise
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Sep 8, 2014 18:50
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That cake looks like it was enchanted to suffer eternally.
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Sep 24, 2014 04:17
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The Door Frame posted:To be fair, American whole wheat bread only means that it has 51% whole wheat flour, which is usually just regular white flour with the wheat bran added back in after the bleaching process. If you get home made, fresh baked, whole grain bread, it has that amazingly complex flavor you're describing and a great texture, but 99% of store bought stuff is tough, grainy cardboard that has had the little sweet flavor that white bread has traded for what can only be described as sand. It is truly a shame Much of the taste and texture is also determined by the mixing and handling process. Your standard factory loaf is made using an intensive mix, where the dough is kneaded for a long time (relatively) in order to fully develop the gluten. They're also usually pretty low hydration, so you end up with stiff dough that can be shaped, proofed, and baked immediately. The result is bread with a tight, uniform, and consistent crumb, but almost no flavor. Not to mention next to no shelf life so preservatives have to be added etc. etc.
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Oct 1, 2014 17:58
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I've just plowed through this thread over the last couple of days. Surprisingly, I'm not actually terrified of my kitchen. No epic fuckups on my part except an episode of pasta to which way too much salt was added, due to having just moved and not unpacking the salt shaker yet. Pouring salt directly from a cardboard box with that little metal lip thing, it's very easy to add rather a lot. Mmmm... seafood-style spagetti! Almost inedible. My roommate around that same time managed to destroy a pot. He'd come home from school and put a pot of water on to make Mac 'n cheese (not Kraft dinner, we were impoverished students, some store-brand version). Then he'd sat down on the couch in front of the TV and forgotten about it. When I got home, at the same time as our other roommate, we noticed a strange burnt smell. Mentioning this to our couch-bound roommate, he claimed ignorance. Then his eyes bugged out and he ran to the kitchen. The water had boiled off, then the Teflon coating on the bottom of the pot had decomposed into a very fine blue powder. That pot went carefully into a plastic bag after it cooled off, then in the garbage. Another time he managed to forget about the peas & carrots he'd just boiled, in their pot, because the pot fell behind the stove (he'd put it on top). When we moved out we cleaned thoroughly, the brown goo was pretty awful. I think that pot sat back there for about a month. Living with him wasn't all bad, though. His mother had assumed he was going to be forever useless in the kitchen so had insisted on filling his chest freezer - a gift from her in a previous year - with lasagne and other just-microwave-it meals. Also, she'd bought a ton of salmon (mostly Sockeye) fresh from the local Indian band (northern British Columbia) and had smoked the lot of it. I still sometimes feel bad about using a pound or so of smoked salmon (worth about $30 if you bought it in a store) as the protein in some bachelor chow made with 50 cents worth of cheap spagetti noodles and whatever tomato sauce. Less bad when I consider how often he'd eat that salmon with just his fingers, sitting in front of the TV. He's a pediatric oncologist now, his day job is saving the lives of sick children, so as far as I'm concerned he gets a full pardon on all those shenanigans, and any other silliness he might get up to for the rest of his life.
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Oct 6, 2014 04:57
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If it's anything like the smoked salmon my friends treated me to when I was on Lummey Island, that's the best way to eat it.
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Oct 7, 2014 05:58
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Fun Fact: Mac n cheese is still perfectly edible(if a bit odd tasting) if you forget to add the milk  .
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Oct 8, 2014 03:05
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ShootaBoy posted:Fun Fact: Mac n cheese is still perfectly edible(if a bit odd tasting) if you forget to add the milk But don't do what I did once, which is to add what you thought was plain yogurt after the fact. It was vanilla. Speaking of vanilla, I make a cheapass version of an Italian soda by dropping some liquid vanilla stevia in plain soda water. The first time I tried, I gave the bottle three hard squeezes. This is not recommended.
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Oct 9, 2014 14:55
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I did a boxed mac and cheese in college where I didn't have milk or butter. I replaced it with a fatalii sauce. It was drat good, but about an hour or so later I was in the fetal position at my neighbors place begging for pepto and watching the new/lovely Indiana Jones.
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Oct 9, 2014 15:21
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ShootaBoy posted:Fun Fact: Mac n cheese is still perfectly edible(if a bit odd tasting) if you forget to add the milk Double the fun with a carry-over from the old "Most Bachelor thing you've ever done" thread: If you like Mac 'n' Cheese but have no use for milk otherwise, try using a tin of cream-of-mushroom soup instead of the milk. The results were quite edible, and suggested to me that you could use cream-of-other-thing soup as well, for a different result. The nice thing about this is that everything is shelf-stable.
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Oct 10, 2014 02:37
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