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Dr. Jamming
Apr 11, 2007

People are talking out there... and I hear it all.
I was making a lovely honey cake that called for a teaspoon of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup of orange juice, and 1/4 cup of rye or whiskey.

I poured 1/2 cup of orange juice into the measuring cup, picked up the whiskey bottle, and poured until the liquid level rose to the 3/4ths line. As I'm holding the whiskey bottle, I looked at the counter to see a bottle of whiskey...

Wait... Why is?
...well poo poo.

You see, my friend occasionally takes trips down to mexico, and when she does, she brings back large bottles of very nice vanilla extract, which is cheaper to buy down there. She usually invites people to bring a container over to take some home with them. I thought that a Jack Daniel's bottle, thoroughly cleaned and with the label removed would make a fine container for alcohol-based liquid, and until this point it worked out reasonably well.

Wasting a half cup of decent orange juice is hardly disheartening; losing 1/4 cup of very good vanilla is far more so. I was also pissed that if I hadn't been so efficient in stacking ingredients in the same measuring cup, I could have at least gone backwards. Instead, down the drain it went.

It's been far too long since we had a good thread about kitchen fuckups. I invite everyone to share stories of your mistakes, and if it can be done in good spirits, huge mistakes you've seen made, or eaten the results of. At least some good can come of bad food.

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Dr. Jamming
Apr 11, 2007

People are talking out there... and I hear it all.

OtherworldlyInvader posted:

So its late at night, I need dinner, and I really don't want to go to the store. I have sausage so I decide to make biscuits and gravy, because its one of my favorite breakfast foods and gently caress getting up in the morning. I do this a few times per year because the stuff is terrible for you, but oh so good, and its generally impossible to get good biscuits and gravy without cooking them yourself.

So start preparing the biscuits, and immediately disaster strikes. I'm almost out of flour. I pour out the dregs from my flour bin, and empty a plastic bag with about a half cup of flour and my flour sifter in it from when I was making bread the other day. The dough ends up a tad sticker than I'd like, but I put them in the oven and they're looking good, crisis averted! Next I get out the skillet, fry up the sausage, and start making the milk gravy. Then I realize my mistake, I don't have any flour left to thicken the gravy. Panic sets in, biscuits are coming out of the oven, the sausage is fried, and I've got a pan full of drippings which needs some starch. I briefly consider using corn starch but realize I don't have any of that either. I'm desperately looking through the pantry and I see a box of pancake mix. That's... mostly flour... and I only need like a couple of tablespoons, right? Desperate to not let anything stand between me and heart-clogging southern food goodness I throw it in, add the milk, add the salt and grind the pepper and let it cook.

I sit down with my meal, grind some more black pepper on it, and take a bite. The biscuits aren't the greatest I've made, but they're light and fluffy and buttery. The gravy is sweet, pancake flour has sugar in it you idiot. Instead of cutting my losses I refuse to waste all that food and keep eating. For months afterword even thinking about biscuits and gravy made me lose my appetite. I don't think I've made it since, this was a year ago.

This... doesn't sound so bad. The Devil's in the details I suppose, but even if I imagine pouring maple syrup over biscuits and gravy... I still want to eat it. Probably doesn't taste as good as I'm imagining. Out of curiosity, would you put Jam or Jelly on a sausage egg McMuffin?

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