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Troolari
Aug 15, 2012

21:25 matt | hi my name is troolari
21:25 matt | *cuts hair like villain from 5th element*

So ive been told I look relatively good yet it seems impossible for me to get a girlfriend. ive had two gay/bi guys hitting on me. do i look too gay or where the gently caress am I supposed to hit on girls. I'm on sick people pension am I'm an an quasi-alcoholic and I do a lot of amphetamine. Is this a huge turnoff?

Do I look too gay for grls to ever hit on me or am I supposed to take the initiatives. I'm drunk again btw. Ive been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, add-Pi and major depressive disorder. Are these a huge turnoff too?

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almightyerin
Apr 16, 2007

runny nose

Edit: My bad wrong thread. Ignore me.

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!


I think one of the biggest turn offs here is your crime against fashion. Don't mix patterns.

Volume
May 2, 2008


Troolari posted:

So ive been told I look relatively good yet it seems impossible for me to get a girlfriend. ive had two gay/bi guys hitting on me. do i look too gay or where the gently caress am I supposed to hit on girls. I'm on sick people pension am I'm an an quasi-alcoholic and I do a lot of amphetamine. Is this a huge turnoff?

Do I look too gay for grls to ever hit on me or am I supposed to take the initiatives. I'm drunk again btw. Ive been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, add-Pi and major depressive disorder. Are these a huge turnoff too?

Quoting this just in case.

Dex
May 26, 2006

Quintuple x!!!

Would not escrow again.

VERY MISLEADING!



a certain youthful pensioner / kakkoii samurai of kami

Squeezy Farm
Jun 16, 2009


If I were a boy I would kiss you.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010
i hated your big dumb ugly macklemore av so i changed it

well cya

I dig your haircut. We should do speed and shoot rats at the dump sometime. In a completely platonic male bonding sort of way of course. Nothing gay about two guys hanging around in a desolate location, drugged up and using their phallic representation of man's mortality to kill rodents.

SaltyJesus
Jun 2, 2011

Arf!


Haha, ground floor on this poo poo. Are you putting us on, Troolari?

waffle
May 12, 2001
HEH


nope you are the whole package. i don't know why you can't get a girlfriend either

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

LAMIERDAROJA



OP, do you consider yourself to be a nice guy?

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 17, 2007

I can't wait to feel your love...

So that I can take it away


Troolari posted:

So ive been told I look relatively good yet it seems impossible for me to get a girlfriend. ive had two gay/bi guys hitting on me. do i look too gay or where the gently caress am I supposed to hit on girls. I'm on sick people pension am I'm an an quasi-alcoholic and I do a lot of amphetamine. Is this a huge turnoff?

Do I look too gay for grls to ever hit on me or am I supposed to take the initiatives. I'm drunk again btw. Ive been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, add-Pi and major depressive disorder. Are these a huge turnoff too?

Maybe you are gay? Like those guys picked up on it with their gaydar. That poo poo 99% accurate when it's gay-on-gay detection.

PS - "Don't wear a Hawaiian shirt ever" is like the first lesson of Hitting On Girls 101

Fixed Expression
Nov 9, 2009



Yeah, basically.

Musket
Mar 19, 2008


Oral Slither posted:

I think one of the biggest turn offs here is your crime against fashion. Don't mix patterns.

You clearly do not get "Power Clashing". Its a fashion thing.

OP, stay cute. Your sweetheart will be found when you least expect it (Probably at a Strfkr show).

Never you mind
Jun 5, 2010


Are you a member of a failed 80s New Wave band? Or Finnish?

Troolari
Aug 15, 2012

21:25 matt | hi my name is troolari
21:25 matt | *cuts hair like villain from 5th element*

I might like boys too but I need a gf to show to my mother. Just teill me how do i get one?

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number.

I picture him playing something brass in a ska band.

CAT ASS now!!!
Mar 8, 2010






Judging by his username, yes indeed

EA Sports
Feb 10, 2007

by XyloJW


I keep a fishing pole in the back of my sedan as well op.

cucurbit
Feb 23, 2009


Troolari posted:

I might like boys too but I need a gf to show to my mother. Just teill me how do i get one?

Up Down Up Down A B Start Down Down B B A B

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

Gotta' nuke something.


You kind of look like a gay version of Adam Savage.

Maybe you could test out some buttsex myths or something.

ThatPazuzu
Sep 8, 2011



THE TIGER IN SPACE


Troolari posted:

I might like boys too but I need a gf to show to my mother. Just teill me how do i get one?

Russian bride?

Musket
Mar 19, 2008


Troolari posted:

I might like boys too but I need a gf to show to my mother. Just teill me how do i get one?

Talk to girls. Its p.easy.

particle409
Jan 15, 2008

Thou bootless clapper-clawed varlot!


Oral Slither posted:

I think one of the biggest turn offs here is your crime against fashion. Don't mix patterns.

The problem goes deeper than that. Even separated, the shirts clash with themselves. Troolari, tells us how much those shirts cost you.

edit:
Your hat is too small, is an orange baseball cap suitable for a small child, and your glasses are suitable for somebody in academia or possibly a lawyer. I assume you are unemployed, maybe you should switch to frames that are slightly more understated.

SaltyJesus
Jun 2, 2011

Arf!


Let's seriouspost for a bit here. My first advice is that your hairstyle is completely ridiculous. It is very top-heavy, for balance you should have a semicircle of hair going around your head slightly above the handles of your eyeglasses. A horizontal Mohawk, I assure you this is very trendy in the Helsinki club scene. Secondly, your eyeglasses are not tinted. How do you intend to be a cool dude and attract all the chicks without tinted glasses? Everybody knows that to be coolest dude you need black lenses, we have this smiley for a reason. Finally, you look appropriately Aryan only on cursory examination. Can you try to be more, like, Scandinavian? One of the better kinds of Scandinavians. Swedish or maybe Norwegian.

Grope-A-Matic
Nov 16, 2008

sigh... you really suck at hand
to hand combat i wont lie and
this is way more challenging
then i thought it would be. to
teach you hand to hand combat,
alright i will try to teach you
some more hand to hand combat


Musket posted:

Talk to girls. Its p.easy.

Geez, telling him to talk to girls without giving him some sweet neg strategies? Throw him to the wolves, why don't ya?

Troolari
Aug 15, 2012

21:25 matt | hi my name is troolari
21:25 matt | *cuts hair like villain from 5th element*

ThatPazuzu posted:

Russian bride?
p. Gay.

Musket posted:

Talk to girls. Its p.easy.
How and where. All the girls in the bar have bfs already.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005



Troolari posted:

p. Gay.

How and where. All the girls in the bar have bfs already.

Just watch some sidewalk PUA videos on youtube.

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007


Troolari posted:

I might like boys too but I need a gf to show to my mother. Just teill me how do i get one?

Serious answer: Hang out with people, ask people out, get shot down sometimes, have some people say yes but you're not that into them, go on some dates, gradually build into something more serious if you're both down.

You're going to die alone though. I can sense it.

Dex
May 26, 2006

Quintuple x!!!

Would not escrow again.

VERY MISLEADING!


Troolari posted:

How and where. All the girls in the bar have bfs already.

If you can't get a fulltime girlfriend, some of them might have timeshares available. Ask for a brochure next time.

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.



You're a fixer-upper, Troolari. Substance abuse? Disabled? Mental issues? Yes, sir, you just need to add "uncontrollable rage" and you should be able to pick up a codependant mommy-type no problem. And if you're gay, that's no problem! Those women aren't actually interested in sex, they want a gigantic child to tinker with and baby.

Uncle Salty
Jan 19, 2008
BOYS

You look fine. Your hair, clothes, everything is fine. It's literally everything else about you that is the problem.

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

LAMIERDAROJA



Troolari posted:

I might like boys too but I need a gf to show to my mother. Just teill me how do i get one?

Just tell your parents the truth. Finland seems like a pretty socially progressive country so they should be cool with it. If not there's always Spain, and I know for a fact spaniards go crazy for rubitos.

Wojtek
Oct 17, 2008


How's your negging? Neg harder.

Arian_Samurai
Jan 21, 2004

third place is still pretty damn good

Buy a sweet car and drive it up and down the strip with the windows down.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



Did you stop to think that maybe the amphetamines and alcohol are contributing to your mood disoders?

SaltyJesus
Jun 2, 2011

Arf!


Arian_Samurai posted:

Buy a sweet car and drive it up and down the strip with the windows down.

Don't forget to blast your balla rear end music really loud. I recommend Buckcherry's classic tune Crazy Bitch.

Japex
Sep 18, 2010


you remind me of Bailey Jay pre-HRT, which in my books means that you're a massive qtpi

Troolari
Aug 15, 2012

21:25 matt | hi my name is troolari
21:25 matt | *cuts hair like villain from 5th element*

"Uncle Salty posted:

You look fine. Your hair, clothes, everything is fine. It's literally everything else about you that is the problem.
Yeah f u,

Wojtek posted:

How's your negging? Neg harder.
gently caress PUA ij ust want a girlfriend.

Arian_Samrurai posted:

Buy a sweet car and drive it up and down the strip with the windows down.
All my money goes to liquor.


Francodipshit posted:

Just tell your parents the truth. Finland seems like a pretty socially progressive country so they should be cool with it. If not there's always Spain, and I know for a fact spaniards go crazy for rubitos.
Yeah they'd be okay with that but im BI and i wanna do both or w/e

Icon of Sin posted:

Did you stop to think that maybe the amphetamines and alcohol are contributing to your mood disoders?
lol stfu

Troolari
Aug 15, 2012

21:25 matt | hi my name is troolari
21:25 matt | *cuts hair like villain from 5th element*

SaltyJesus posted:

Don't forget to blast your balla rear end music really loud. I recommend Buckcherry's classic tune Crazy Bitch.
All I listen to http://www.last.fm/user/troolari_


Japex posted:

you remind me of Bailey Jay pre-HRT, which in my books means that you're a massive qtpi
If that means let's gently caress fo sho

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Nice piece of fish
Jan 29, 2008

A total basshole


Where the gently caress to begin.

Troolari posted:

So ive been told I look relatively good

They lied.

Troolari posted:

yet it seems impossible for me to get a girlfriend.

The term boyfriend is not literal. Women do not want little boys who are friends.

Troolari posted:

ive had two gay/bi guys hitting on me. do i look too gay

No, they just have incredibly low standards.

Troolari posted:

or where the gently caress am I supposed to hit on girls.

It's called "the world". The time period is; "life".

Troolari posted:

I'm on sick people pension am I'm an an quasi-alcoholic and I do a lot of amphetamine. Is this a huge turnoff?

If it isn't, run, don't walk away from anyone that desperate.

Troolari posted:

Do I look too gay for grls to ever hit on me or am I supposed to take the initiatives.

If you have to ask, you're already a loser.

Troolari posted:

I'm drunk again btw.

Good that you're posting, then.

Let's see, what else, oh yeah, and your post is named after a scandinavian euphemism for picking up any girl at all out on the town and bringing her home, no matter how bad looking (trawling). Guess you might also be trolling? How unique and clever.


I'm no fashion person, but even I can tell you this is a bad idea: Round glasses on oval face. Hat on inside a vehicle. The Worst Haircut. Mixing patterns. Ugly shirt. Tiny shoulders.

And you have no muscle mass what so ever. I think you should reevaluate life.

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