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Inside Beard
Aug 26, 2013


So to start off, I'm the bad guy in this story. I'm not expecting a lot of sympathy for what led me here, but I'm here now and it sucks so I decided I should maybe post about it rather than just keep it in my guts.

First, let's get the facts out of the way. I've been married for just over a year and had been in a relationship with the same lady for 5 years before that. About a year before we got married I started cheating on her with random internet girls. It wasn't a regular thing, but when the opportunity came up that I'd be leaving town, I'd find someone and hook up. I talked myself into believing that I'd be done with that once we got married, but that didn't turn out to be the case. I tried talking my wife into doing an open relationship type thing, but she wasn't really interested. I thought that maybe if we could have some sort of arrangement like that going on, that I could be secure in my marriage and still having the rest of my needs met on the side. I though that maybe even though she wasn't up for it now, maybe she'd come around eventually and maybe we'd be able to make it work.

Maybe it would have worked if I'd waited, maybe it wouldn't, but I didn't end up finding out. A little over a month ago I met someone different. She was my friend's girlfriend with an open relationship that was on the rocks. I got to know her and we connected and we continued to connect and we started getting a little freaked out by how connected we kept getting and how perfectly the connections kept connecting up, but they just kept on connecting anyway. It made me realize that the way I was going wasn't sustainable to my marriage, nor was it fair to my wife. It made me think about all of the ways that my wife and I don't connect despite our best efforts over half a decade to do so. It helped me come to the decision that I needed a change.

So, I talked to my wife about it. I told her I wasn't happy in our marriage, I laid out our differences and told her I had decided I wanted out. I wasn't a dick about it, but I didn't give her a lot of say in the matter which is fairly dickish in its own right. I did tell her about my new relationship since I didn't want to have to sneak around during our separation and that was where I was going to be staying. Suffice to say, she did not take it well.

Fast forward to now, we've been separated for about a month and the divorce papers are on their way to me in the mail. I just moved my stuff out of our house this weekend and we have it up for sale. My friends all hate me because after 6 years they're her friends too now and she's the only person they've talked to about our situation. I'm living with my girlfriend in her apartment with her ex as our roommate who, interestingly enough, is one of the only of my friends who isn't mad at me (he'd wanted out of the relationship for a while so it kind of worked out that I came along).

The whole lack of any friends thing is starting to get to me. I've never been super great at forming lasting relationships with friends so the ones that I have, I've always held on pretty tightly to and considered them closer than family. Because of this, it's pretty hard on me that those people are avoiding me like the plague right now. I can see where they're coming from, as I've obviously been pretty lovely and hurt my wife a lot, but like I said, it still sucks.

tldr; I'm an rear end in a top hat who cheated on my wife and now I'm sad that no one likes me.

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Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

There are no questions to answer here and you seem to understand the situation, so I'll mark this one up to another job well done for the E/N forum. Glad you worked things out and now you know that being a shitstain makes decent people not want anything to do with you.

Warchicken
Jun 9, 2004


It honestly sounds like you've done the right thing at this point. Cheating was awful and scummy but own into to it and being honest about your desires was the healthiest thing you can do. Those people will hate you and they have good reason to. Make what amends you can but don't bother them, don't dwell. Move on and rebuild your social network anew, this time honestly. Don't hide poo poo from anyone, even if your impulses are awful. Figure them out. Your other option is to hurt people again, in the same way.

Move on from your past and be the best most honest person you can be. That is all you can do.

Slo-Tek
Jun 8, 2001



Working as intended.

Society makes it an uncomfortable annoying pain in the rear end to be a shitheel, so people without a functional moral compass might still decide to do the right thing because they fear punishment.

By the by, you will find that telling 'Your side of the story' won't improve relations with your former friends, even if they do accidently take your call.

Kilo India
Mar 12, 2006

E/N Success Story


Well you feel bad because you're an incredibly selfish person. I guess you could try not being that again.

Also, how did you get to be a married adult without understanding that "connection after connection after connection!" is called an infatuation phase, and it's temporary?

triskadekaphilia
Oct 29, 2004


You should probably start cultivating a new group of friends. I'm not sure how your side of the story would really woo anyone back over anyways.

Just being completely blunt, if I were in a situation where I was friends with you and your wife both, and knew what you did, I wouldn't in good conscience be able to be your friend anymore.

You obviously have trouble forming lasting relationships with anyone period, and serial cheating like that normally means you have some issues with yourself you should work out before forcing yourself on anyone else.

Also for the record, I think it's pretty much universally accepted that the number one key ingredient to a successful poly relationship is openness/honesty, so don't think it's magically going to work with someone who is already keen on open relationships without you being able to bring that to the table.

Darth123123
Jan 26, 2006



Inside Beard posted:

I got to know her and we connected and we continued to connect and we started getting a little freaked out by how connected we kept getting and how perfectly the connections kept connecting up, but they just kept on connecting anyway.

That's a whole lotta "connecting".

Anyways, I actually disowned a selfish dick friend for cheating on his wife, whom also was a close friend of mine. Haven't spoken to him in a year. Don't ever intend on doing so. He lies to his wife, kids, and family - who says he wouldn't do the same to me?

Morally Inept
Mar 5, 2012


Boohoo, poor you. You being a complete jerk off will not end at this. You will at one point want to gently caress someone else and do the same thing to this woman. You are a giant destructive tornado in the lives of these people that you claim to love.

Oh, and to make it clear, these connections that you had with this new woman are likely the same types of "connections" you felt with your soon to be ex wife. Enjoy being lonely for all your life.

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Drink up, virgoons! Everybody's doin' it! You don't want everyone to think you're squares, do ya?

He clearly has a fetish for being told he's a lovely person, so we should probably stop fueling his "woe-is-me" and just let this thread die sadly.

But, since I'm not above slinging some mud, OP - I hope your dick stops working. Like, forever.

Corn Thongs
Feb 13, 2004


Have you no remorse? You're posting about how much it sucks that your friends are no longer speaking to you when it should be a bitter pill you make yourself swallow. Don't complain about it you jerk.

Inside Beard
Aug 26, 2013


Thanks for the replies so far. Yeah, I've pretty much figured out that I did some lovely things and those had consequences so I'm trying to deal with it as best I can.

Kilo India posted:

Also, how did you get to be a married adult without understanding that "connection after connection after connection!" is called an infatuation phase, and it's temporary?

I accept that possibility, but I didn't decide to end my marriage just because I "met someone better", I decided to end it because things weren't working to such a degree that I was seeking out new connections like a crack addict looking for a fix and saw that this wasn't sustainable and I really couldn't keep going on like that. Honestly I think the biggest dick move I made wasn't the cheating itself, it was keeping all of those feelings that I needed something else to myself long enough for them to develop to a point where I acted on them. If I had talked to my wife about my feelings of unhappiness in the relationship years ago, we probably could have worked things out and even if we didn't, we could have ended things on mutual terms of acknowledging that the relationship just didn't work. Instead, I let it build up inside me until my moral barriers fell down and I stepped out.

I don't think I'm inherently a lovely person, just a selfish person who has done a lot of lovely things. Does this doom me to a life of ruining everything I touch and dying alone? I hope not.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number.

While cheating is pretty terrible, to be somewhat fair to the OP it does look like he's kinda just stuck in a lovely cultural situation because monogamy is so highly valued here. It looks like he was pretty open about wanting an open relationship, he just didn't get it so he satisfied his needs elsewhere. Yeah it's lovely and I can't blame his friends for thinking he's a dick they want nothing to do with, but the OP sorta just sounds like a guy who's not geared toward monogamy and it's unfortunate that that's the standard societal expectation. Glad he found someone else that can mesh with the sex life he wants.

Blue Steel
Aug 19, 2009

GET YOUR BITCH ASS OUT OF E/N AND BACK TO TFLC


Inside Beard posted:

I don't think I'm inherently a lovely person, just a selfish person who has done a lot of lovely things.
A lovely person is someone who is selfish and does lovely things.

jassi007
Aug 9, 2006

mmmmm.. burger...

Inside Beard posted:

Thanks for the replies so far. Yeah, I've pretty much figured out that I did some lovely things and those had consequences so I'm trying to deal with it as best I can.


I accept that possibility, but I didn't decide to end my marriage just because I "met someone better", I decided to end it because things weren't working to such a degree that I was seeking out new connections like a crack addict looking for a fix and saw that this wasn't sustainable and I really couldn't keep going on like that. Honestly I think the biggest dick move I made wasn't the cheating itself, it was keeping all of those feelings that I needed something else to myself long enough for them to develop to a point where I acted on them. If I had talked to my wife about my feelings of unhappiness in the relationship years ago, we probably could have worked things out and even if we didn't, we could have ended things on mutual terms of acknowledging that the relationship just didn't work. Instead, I let it build up inside me until my moral barriers fell down and I stepped out.

I don't think I'm inherently a lovely person, just a selfish person who has done a lot of lovely things. Does this doom me to a life of ruining everything I touch and dying alone? I hope not.

You can choose to change and make steps toward doing so if you want to. It is super E/N cliche but therapist? I mean that or you made a stupid mistake and it compounded, mistake being "getting married" when you didn't either like that person enough to commit to them and now you have hurt them, and the people in your old life see you were the one who caused said hurting and no long like you. You have to figure out how to move on with your new life because you blew the old one up and those people aren't your friends anymore with cause. Telling them you did the right thing eventually isn't going to be a winning strategy.

Knockknees
Dec 21, 2004

sprung out fully formed


ArbitraryC posted:

While cheating is pretty terrible, to be somewhat fair to the OP it does look like he's kinda just stuck in a lovely cultural situation because monogamy is so highly valued here. It looks like he was pretty open about wanting an open relationship, he just didn't get it so he satisfied his needs elsewhere. Yeah it's lovely and I can't blame his friends for thinking he's a dick they want nothing to do with, but the OP sorta just sounds like a guy who's not geared toward monogamy and it's unfortunate that that's the standard societal expectation. Glad he found someone else that can mesh with the sex life he wants.

He wasn't open about 'wanting an open relationship' until after he was married and had already been serially cheating. If he had had the conversation about his sexual needs and wanting to be in an open relationship before he had started cheating on his girlfriend, or before he married her, that would be one thing. But, he didn't. And when she wasn't into being in an open relationship, he didn't end the marriage there, he strung it out until he found someone he liked better.

The overriding societal expectation is that you are honest with yourself and with your partner. If he had been more honest at the outset, he'd be a 'ladies man' with 'commitment issues' which is a much more socially acceptable narrative than self deceiving serial cheater.

beckyogg
Jul 12, 2006

My lungs don't work. Now it's time to sing!

Well, it's over and done with now and you've accepted that you were a selfish dickhole. Now what you need to do is take a serious look at how and why you let it get to the point that you did. Obviously cheating on your wife rather than talking openly and honestly with her was a pretty dumb thing to do, and you need to figure out what led you to making these bad decisions.

As with pretty much every other E/N thread, you may well benefit from talking to a therapist in order to figure out just why you acted the way you did, and how to prevent yourself from loving up like that in the future.

Kilo India
Mar 12, 2006

E/N Success Story


ArbitraryC posted:

While cheating is pretty terrible, to be somewhat fair to the OP it does look like he's kinda just stuck in a lovely cultural situation because monogamy is so highly valued here. It looks like he was pretty open about wanting an open relationship, he just didn't get it so he satisfied his needs elsewhere. Yeah it's lovely and I can't blame his friends for thinking he's a dick they want nothing to do with, but the OP sorta just sounds like a guy who's not geared toward monogamy and it's unfortunate that that's the standard societal expectation. Glad he found someone else that can mesh with the sex life he wants.

Society has nothing to do with this. His wife valued monogamy, and it is her right to do so. He cheated on her before he married her, and he knew she didn't want an open relationship. He shouldn't have married a monogamous woman when his needs were so obvious. Plus, he's now saying his cheating wasn't because he's inherently poly but instead because of some other nebulous issues about personal satisfaction. I can see where you're coming from but I don't think it applies.

Edit: knockknees beat me to it, basically what they said. Reading a poly agenda into this is out of left field.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Dec 28, 2007

Kiss this and hang



Not sure why you are upset, You have this amazing connection with a girl and her ex. Don't forget to impregnate her as soon as possible.

Inside Beard
Aug 26, 2013


Knockknees posted:

He wasn't open about 'wanting an open relationship' until after he was married and had already been serially cheating. If he had had the conversation about his sexual needs and wanting to be in an open relationship before he had started cheating on his girlfriend, or before he married her, that would be one thing. But, he didn't. And when she wasn't into being in an open relationship, he didn't end the marriage there, he strung it out until he found someone he liked better.

The overriding societal expectation is that you are honest with yourself and with your partner. If he had been more honest at the outset, he'd be a 'ladies man' with 'commitment issues' which is a much more socially acceptable narrative than self deceiving serial cheater.

We did talk a little about open relationships before we'd gotten married and before I'd started cheating. Actually it was pretty much directly before I first cheated that we talked about it the most in depth. I'm not saying that makes what I did right, but that's how it went down. I do think the not geared towards monogamy thing is pretty apt, the goal going forward is just being on the level with the person I love about that.

Blue Steel posted:

A lovely person is someone who is selfish and does lovely things.

The future goals is to not do lovely things even though I am a selfish person.

canuckanese
Apr 17, 2007



I'm looking forward to your next thread, which you will post from the computers at the public library because current girlfriend dumped you and you have no significant other, no friends, and no where to live.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number.

Kilo India posted:

Society has nothing to do with this. His wife valued monogamy, and it is her right to do so. He cheated on her before he married her, and he knew she didn't want an open relationship. He shouldn't have married a monogamous woman when his needs were so obvious. Plus, he's now saying his cheating wasn't because he's inherently poly but instead because of some other nebulous issues about personal satisfaction. I can see where you're coming from but I don't think it applies.

Edit: knockknees beat me to it, basically what they said. Reading a poly agenda into this is out of left field.
I know what he did was lovely and I directly said that, hence why it was cheating and not simply having unfulfilled desires. It just seems like he's probably had problems finding a relationship that could suite his needs so he went and tried to force a square peg through a round hole. I'm not saying it wasn't lovely I'm just saying I think this thing probably happens pretty commonly with people who find themselves wanting to have multiple sexual partners in a culture where almost the entire dating pool wouldn't be okay with that. Even successful poly relationships where everyone involved is on board tend to get poo poo on by everyone else/end up the butt of many jokes. I think what OP did was lovely and selfish but to be honest I just don't see him as a terrible person here. I had something similar happen to me (dated a girl who didn't really want to be monogamous but tried for me) and it ended in some minor cheating. It's not like I didn't know she would have preferred something open. To be honest I wasn't that mad at her when it happened because in the end I was just trying to force what I wanted on her. The OP has said he brought up the open relationship before any cheating happened, so she clearly knew he wanted to sleep with other people and you can just as easily say she shoulda broke up with him if she wasn't okay with that.

Kilo India
Mar 12, 2006

E/N Success Story


If I tell my partner I'm interested in bondage, and he isn't, and I drop the discussion there, should the reasonable response be to go out and have wild bondage sex for the next six years behind his back? I understand your point of view but I find it inexcusable; it's extremely immature for someone presumably mature enough to marry. His and your partner's needs (open relationships) are not greater than his wife's and your needs (monogamy) even if they are special sexually enlightened butterflies.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number.

Kilo India posted:

If I tell my partner I'm interested in bondage, and he isn't, and I drop the discussion there, should the reasonable response be to go out and have wild bondage sex for the next six years behind his back? I understand your point of view but I find it inexcusable; it's extremely immature for someone presumably mature enough to marry. His and your partner's needs (open relationships) are not greater than his wife's and your needs (monogamy) even if they are special sexually enlightened butterflies.
They're not greater but they're equal. She was aware of what he wanted but wanted her desires to trump his. The fact of the matter is they couldn't both be happy at the same time and they shoulda called it there and they both acted selfishly. Her for thinking she could force him to be monogamous and him for cheating on her and hoping he could convince her to be open later. What he did was much worse for a variety of reasons (health risks for one), I'm not trying to downplay that cheating is bad. I just think on some level the situation was also unfair for the OP and while he handled it terribly and in the most selfish way possible I don't necessarily think he's an awful person.

Kilo India
Mar 12, 2006

E/N Success Story


She didn't force him into anything. He said he wanted an open relationship, she said no, and then he agreed to get married to her under his own assumption that it would work out. She had no idea he had been actively cheating on her prior to the marriage and she had no idea (until now) that he continued to do so after. It's not like cheating is difficult to avoid. I just got up this morning, made some lovely banana pancakes, spent a few hours at work and didn't cheat on a single person. By the end of tonight, I'll have accomplished even more not cheating. He specifically put effort into getting married and then actively working against his own marriage. I can't see any way in which his wife is not a victim here.

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

Hey Vancouver, bet you can't win just one!


ArbitraryC posted:

They're not greater but they're equal. She was aware of what he wanted but wanted her desires to trump his. The fact of the matter is they couldn't both be happy at the same time and they shoulda called it there and they both acted selfishly. Her for thinking she could force him to be monogamous and him for cheating on her and hoping he could convince her to be open later. What he did was much worse for a variety of reasons (health risks for one), I'm not trying to downplay that cheating is bad. I just think on some level the situation was also unfair for the OP and while he handled it terribly and in the most selfish way possible I don't necessarily think he's an awful person.

It's unfair when you say 'ok honey, no open relationship' and then go out and start boning people anyway. She's a little naive; he's a lying shithead.

Hope the craigslist herpes was worth it, OP!

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Drink up, virgoons! Everybody's doin' it! You don't want everyone to think you're squares, do ya?

ArbitraryC posted:

I just think on some level the situation was also unfair for the OP and while he handled it terribly and in the most selfish way possible I don't necessarily think he's an awful person.

Well you're basically objectively wrong about this due to all the reasons Kilo India spelled out, so maybe now would be a good time to drop it before opening a giant poly .

rjsnyde
Nov 20, 2009

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

Yeah I'm thinking if my wife approached me with wanting an open relationship I'd go ahead and end it there. Especially if she kept bringing it up. Kinda sends that whole "I want to have sex with other people" vibe. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

Knockknees
Dec 21, 2004

sprung out fully formed


So the time line is...

1. talk about open relationships a little
2. talk about open relationships more deeply, it is clear she isn't down
3. cheat
4. get married
5. continue to cheat
6. find someone else who you 'connect' with
7. FINALLY realize you shouldn't have been with wife in the first place?

But the exact timeline doesn't really matter, does it? The point is that step 7 could have happened after any earlier step and saved a lot of heart-ache.

Khanstant
Apr 5, 2007


Go somewhere else and meet new folks or get a job or whatever. I have friends who have cheated on people before but who cares I didn't know them then or the people involved.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number.

Kilo India posted:

She didn't force him into anything. He said he wanted an open relationship, she said no, and then he agreed to get married to her under his own assumption that it would work out. She had no idea he had been actively cheating on her prior to the marriage and she had no idea (until now) that he continued to do so after. It's not like cheating is difficult to avoid. I just got up this morning, made some lovely banana pancakes, spent a few hours at work and didn't cheat on a single person. By the end of tonight, I'll have accomplished even more not cheating. He specifically put effort into getting married and then actively working against his own marriage. I can't see any way in which his wife is not a victim here.
Because she knew he didn't want a monogamous relationship and she just blindly hoped it would work itself out when she unilaterally decided no against an open relationship. She's still a victim here and I've never defended what OP did as right, but she did try to force a monogamous relationship when that was specifically incompatible with what OP wanted and it turned out pretty much exactly how you'd expect it to. They disagreed over a pretty major sticking point in relationships (sex) and the outcome is unsurprising.

It's not like I've cheated either and I'm by no means trying to say it's an acceptable thing or not that big of a deal, but to someone like the OP who just doesn't seem geared towards monogamy it's both naive and unreasonable to expect him to just abandon his own needs for your own. Yes the OP should have broken up with her instead of cheating on her, but she probably should have communicated more with him after the initial request to open things up and together they could have identified if it was too important to him for the relationship to continue.

After my own experience and knowing I simply couldn't do a poly or open relationship, if the person I was dating ever asked me to open up our relationship I'd probably talk it out and end it if it seemed like they were even remotely invested into the idea because it's clear we just wouldn't be sexually compatible for the longterm.

BuckarooBanzai
Dec 2, 2004
Wherever you go, there you are.

You should just straight up make sure the new girlfriend is cool having an open relationship. That way we won't have to see this exact thread again in a few years.

Knockknees
Dec 21, 2004

sprung out fully formed


ArbitraryC posted:

Because she knew he didn't want a monogamous relationship and she just blindly hoped it would work itself out when she unilaterally decided no against an open relationship

I don't think we know anything about the conversation, or her thought process, or what she knew.

The fact that they went on to get married implies that at some point after the open relationship conversation the OP expressed a sentiment like 'oh hey, you are the person I want to be monogamous about forever'. It's not her fault that he was lying about that.

Inside Beard
Aug 26, 2013


I agree that I'm not an awful person, but also agree with others that I'm the only person at fault here. My wife told me she wasn't comfortable with an open relationship and I let it rest and told her I could live with that. Obviously I couldn't, but that's not what I told her so she was acting under the assumption that wasn't important to me and that everything in our relationship was as perfect and happy and wonderful as I gave her the impression of. The lesson here is don't just let things rest and say they're okay when they're not.

BuckarooBanzai posted:

You should just straight up make sure the new girlfriend is cool having an open relationship. That way we won't have to see this exact thread again in a few years.

Already good on this front.

Wayne Gretzky
Aug 4, 2007

by elpintogrande


Good luck in the future, goon! Keep your chin up.

rjsnyde
Nov 20, 2009

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

ArbitraryC posted:

she did try to force a monogamous relationship when that was specifically incompatible with what OP wanted and it turned out pretty much exactly how you'd expect it to. They disagreed over a pretty major sticking point in relationships (sex) and the outcome is unsurprising.

I think the only way this is in any way valid is if this guy was a serial cheater before they got together, and she knew it. I used to live with someone like that, and every single person he dated knew exactly what they were getting into. They thought they would be the one to change him, and ended up getting hurt. It was really hard to feel bad for them though, because they knew exactly the type of person he is. Hell, some of them were the ones he was cheating with and ended up starting to date.

Even if he never said "I'll never cheat on you" by knowing she does not want an open relationship, and agreeing to marry her he implied that was a-ok with him, and went ahead and hurt her anyway. I think that's what bugs me the most about cheating. Sure, people get drunk and hook up and that's pretty bad by itself but at least going into it you weren't planning anything. He actively looked for people to have sex with knowing the entire time he was doing something that would devastate someone he claimed to love.

What exactly is going through your head while all the planning for the hook up is going on? I've been cheated on before, and that's the ONE thing I've never had a good answer for. You knew it was wrong the entire time, but did it anyway. I get how you ended up on craigslist surfing for sex, but you never had a "oh, wait, this is wrong" moment?

Castle Bidimar
Mar 27, 2012

by T. Finninho


You need to forgive yourself. Those other people? If they don't want you they have no value in your life.

Inside Beard
Aug 26, 2013


rjsnyde posted:

What exactly is going through your head while all the planning for the hook up is going on? I've been cheated on before, and that's the ONE thing I've never had a good answer for. You knew it was wrong the entire time, but did it anyway. I get how you ended up on craigslist surfing for sex, but you never had a "oh, wait, this is wrong" moment?

I'd say there were definitely "oh wait, this is wrong" moments driving down the freeway approaching that exit, but there was also a pretty strong drive for these new things that overrode that and made me take the turn. I think it all comes down to justifying something to yourself. My justification was that during our previous conversation about open relationships, she had told me that if we ever did an open relationship she wouldn't want to know about anything that was going on with me and other people. I wanted that bad enough that I was able to twist that into a justification for cheating. I think it's probably the same for most people, but I can't really speak to the experiences of others. Also note that I'm not trying to justify anything here, I'm just explaining how I justified it to myself at the time.

Slo-Tek
Jun 8, 2001



The thing that tickles me here is the idea that somehow the internet strange will continue as the years wear on. At 25, with a good line of bullshit, you can probably line up a date for your business trip. At 30? Probably still, a little more damaged, a little sadder, but hey, it is that or fidelity, right? 35? things are probably starting to get a bit lean. 40? You're paying cash.

So, you poo poo away a marriage you put 5+ years into with the idea that you'd always be able to get some rear end off craigslist, and that is funny.

SybilVimes
Oct 29, 2011


Slo-Tek posted:

35? things are probably starting to get a bit lean. 40? You're paying cash.


Because old people don't hook up, ever, right?

(If I can meet my bf at 35, then anyone can find someone online - hell, I had what came close to unsolicitated fawning by an 18yo a few years back)

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Darth123123
Jan 26, 2006



Slo-Tek posted:

The thing that tickles me here is the idea that somehow the internet strange will continue as the years wear on. At 25, with a good line of bullshit, you can probably line up a date for your business trip. At 30? Probably still, a little more damaged, a little sadder, but hey, it is that or fidelity, right? 35? things are probably starting to get a bit lean. 40? You're paying cash.

So, you poo poo away a marriage you put 5+ years into with the idea that you'd always be able to get some rear end off craigslist, and that is funny.

I suspect you don't travel a lot for business at age 40, or you are really ugly.

Also, sybil, OP doesn't need encouragement!

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