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poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004



We simply don't understand the forces at work here on the cosmological scale, but it's certainly possible to predict the catastrophic ramifications of adding a universe worth of mass to our planet. It'd destabilize the whole solar system, cause our satellites to crash out of the sky, make standing upright on the Earth's surface pretty much impossible without breaking your legs and, ultimately, the earth will spontaneously begin fusing cookies which due to the low hydrogen/helium content would promptly result in a cookienova. The only sane course of action is an immediate moratorium on cookie clicking until we can find a way to disperse the added mass across the universe.

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GreatGreen
Jul 3, 2007
That's not what gaslighting means you hyperbolic dipshit.
Hah!

You can pry my ever rising CPS from my cold dead fingers, hippy.

blackguy32
Oct 1, 2005

Say, do you know how to do the walk?

Ryen Deckard posted:

What is even going on in this thread anymore?

Cookie talk.

Spiffo
Nov 24, 2005

gggiiimmmppp posted:

We simply don't understand the forces at work here on the cosmological scale, but it's certainly possible to predict the catastrophic ramifications of adding a universe worth of mass to our planet. It'd destabilize the whole solar system, cause our satellites to crash out of the sky, make standing upright on the Earth's surface pretty much impossible without breaking your legs and, ultimately, the earth will spontaneously begin fusing cookies which due to the low hydrogen/helium content would promptly result in a cookienova. The only sane course of action is an immediate moratorium on cookie clicking until we can find a way to disperse the added mass across the universe.

Some say the world will end in cookies,
Some say in cream.
From what I've baked with my broskis
I hold with those who favor cookies.
But if I had another scheme,
I think I know enough of fate
To say that to drown in cream
Would then await

Spiffo fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Aug 27, 2013

Regy Rusty
Apr 26, 2010

gggiiimmmppp posted:

We simply don't understand the forces at work here on the cosmological scale, but it's certainly possible to predict the catastrophic ramifications of adding a universe worth of mass to our planet. It'd destabilize the whole solar system, cause our satellites to crash out of the sky, make standing upright on the Earth's surface pretty much impossible without breaking your legs and, ultimately, the earth will spontaneously begin fusing cookies which due to the low hydrogen/helium content would promptly result in a cookienova. The only sane course of action is an immediate moratorium on cookie clicking until we can find a way to disperse the added mass across the universe.

I'm okay with this because at least everyone will have cookies.

circ dick soleil
Sep 27, 2012

by zen death robot

gggiiimmmppp posted:

That raises other important cosmological quandaries; at some point you'd exceed the mass of dark matter, halting and reversing the expansion of the universe. If we're going down this road, we should seek cookie equillibrium, nothing more, or we'll wind up in the awkward situation of having to export cookies or import dark cookies (ugh) to prevent the big crunch endgame.

Not all of the cookies counted exist in this universe. Many of them still exist in separate cookieverses. Rather, the counter signifies the number of cookies discovered, packed and housed right outside the portals of other cookieverses, waiting to be brought into ours. Poop and gold from defective factories are shipped into these cookieverses, and cookies are brought out.

That Fucking Sned
Oct 28, 2010

How would you go about beating this game in the shortest amount of time, and with the fewest clicks possible? I'm not sure how you'd define 'completed', or what is considered a click or not, whether that's just on the cookie, or including using the interface.

Geight
Aug 7, 2010

Oh, All-Knowing One, behold me!

That loving Sned posted:

How would you go about beating this game in the shortest amount of time, and with the fewest clicks possible? I'm not sure how you'd define 'completed', or what is considered a click or not, whether that's just on the cookie, or including using the interface.

I think when one of the rotating messages is "It's time to stop playing", it's time to stop playing.

GreatGreen
Jul 3, 2007
That's not what gaslighting means you hyperbolic dipshit.

That loving Sned posted:

How would you go about beating this game in the shortest amount of time, and with the fewest clicks possible? I'm not sure how you'd define 'completed', or what is considered a click or not, whether that's just on the cookie, or including using the interface.

I tried to totally nerd out and figure it up. I might be totally off, but here's some loose numbers anyway. Here's a chart (calculated as a mix of the numbers on the first page combined with some findings of my own based on my current game that by the way include the first 26 upgrades so it's nowhere near accurate, but I think the basic gist is there):


clicker 1 cps

grandma 2 cps

farm 2.5 cps (1.25x more productive than 1 grandma)

factory 10 cps (4x more productive than 1 farm)

mine 40 cps (4x more productive than 1 factory)

shipment 100 cps (2.5x more productive than 1 mine)

alchemy lab 400 cps (4x more productive than 1 shipment)

portal 8,332 cps (20.83x more productive than one lab)

time machine 98,765 cps (11.8x more productive than 1 portal)


My thinking is that you click the most expensive option every time it comes up until the thing one tier less productive below it becomes cheaper per CPS. On the other side, don't go for the thing above the highest tier you've already built until its CPS is cheaper per cookie spent by the ratio as shown above.

So in other words, let's say you start the game with enough cookies to buy an Alchemy lab. You'd then click the Alchemy Lab button to build 1 Alchemy Lab, producing 400 cps. At that point, you'd keep clicking that Alchemy Lab button until the Shipment option becomes cheaper than 25% of the cost of the next Alchemy Lab (because the Lab produces 4x as much as a shipment), at which point you'd build a Shipment because you'd get more CPS per cookie spent with the Shipment option than with the Lab. Eventually, a Mine will produce more cps per cookie spent when the Shipment option gets more than 2.5 times more expensive than the Mine, etc. Once the Portal's price gets to where it is cheaper than (Current Alchemy Lab Price x 20.83), build a Portal, etc.

Of course, upgrades will throw off the math, and seeing how each tier isn't linearly or properly exponentially spaced, you pretty much have to keep up with everything individually all the time. And cursors gets +CPS bonuses with every object you build so who knows how many of those you need for "optimal" pacing. So yeah, in other words don't worry about it. just click poo poo and watch the numbers go up.

GreatGreen fucked around with this message at 21:08 on Aug 27, 2013

Ularg
Mar 2, 2010

Just tell me I'm exotic.
Will this indie game also be on the PS4?

Spiffo
Nov 24, 2005

Ularg posted:

Will this indie game also be on the PS4?

coming soon to Kinect™

Three Cookies
Apr 9, 2010

Spiffo posted:

coming soon to Kinect™

Give it a calorie counter.

Roy
Sep 24, 2007
I don't know, this cookie cutter gameplay seems to simple for my high brow tastes.

Ularg
Mar 2, 2010

Just tell me I'm exotic.

Spiffo posted:

coming soon to Kinect™

Xbox sell Grandma.

Observe Me
Jan 21, 2006

I know shits bad right now with all that starving bullshit and the dust storms and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution!
I work overnight, so this morning, I slept with it running at about 2 million per second, then I woke up, hit refresh, and found new upgrades. A couple clicks later, I'm at 247 billion CPS. :getin:

Infinity Gaia
Feb 27, 2011

a storm is coming...

Yeah I had been playing without refreshing for a while, did so, found a lot of milk and upgrades, got an absolutely ludicrous exponential increase in CPS.

Vargs
Mar 27, 2010

This feels pretty much exactly like the economy system from the Assassin's Creed games, except I can't spend my cookies on increasingly stupid looking swords.

Infinity Gaia
Feb 27, 2011

a storm is coming...

Vargs posted:

This feels pretty much exactly like the economy system from the Assassin's Creed games, except I can't spend my cookies on increasingly stupid looking swords.

Yet.

Keep in mind he's planning on adding dungeons. Be prepared to spend your cookies on cookie crust armor and chocolate chip katanas.

Holepunchio
May 31, 2011

I think he knows my cookies' deep dark non-chocolatey secret.:ohdear:

Holepunchio fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Aug 27, 2013

Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying

Vargs posted:

This feels pretty much exactly like the economy system from the Assassin's Creed games, except I can't spend my cookies on increasingly stupid looking swords.
And Saint's Row. And a bunch of other open world games probably.

I'm glad someone was finally smart enough to cut out all the tedious rooftop-running and car-driving that plagues those series.

GreatGreen
Jul 3, 2007
That's not what gaslighting means you hyperbolic dipshit.
Well I'll say one thing. If anything, this game does give you a very 1st hand feel at just how far apart orders of magnitude really are.

Waiting for 2 or 3 billion cookies to show up in the bank when I only have 5 million coming in per second makes me feel so cookie poor. Then I look at the cookie counter furiously blazing upwards and wonder how I can be so cookie selfish. Look at how good I have it! So many people will barely see in a lifetime how many cookies I make in but a few seconds.

Then I find myself needing even more cookies. More cookies. Now, dammit.

GreatGreen fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Aug 27, 2013

ReVerve
Jul 13, 2001

Select and make your first pick.


Biscuit Hider
So how many cookies per second should one have to consider themselves a cookie god?

Ryen Deckard
Jun 28, 2008

My blood is red, white, and blue.

GreatGreen posted:

Then I find myself needing even more cookies. More cookies. Now, dammit.

This game is the most beautiful and perfect example of the capitalist ideology.

Boogalo
Jul 8, 2012

Meep Meep




I was slumming along at 2.5k/sec after having the window open all day, refreshed, and it jumped up to 15k/sec and gave me a bunch of achievements and extra upgrades. I refreshed again and I'm back down to 3k/sec :(

What does milk do other than enable the graphic in the click window?

poptart_fairy
Apr 8, 2009

by R. Guyovich
Fifteen million a second and still that's not enough. More. More. More. MORE. :byodood:

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 24, 2008

SICK LOOT!
How do I possibly have 15 achievements left to go if I'm at 357 billion cookies a second?!

Level Slide
Jan 4, 2011

how can my cookies be worth alot when i'm pumping them out so fast

Mercury Crusader
Apr 20, 2005

You know they say that all demons are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Pyro Jack and you can see that statement is not true, hee-ho!

ReVerve posted:

So how many cookies per second should one have to consider themselves a cookie god?

8, but sideways.

Ularg
Mar 2, 2010

Just tell me I'm exotic.

Holepunchio posted:


I think he knows my cookies' deep dark non-chocolatey secret.:ohdear:

I got that just from using two fingers to alternate clicks really fast.

Infinity Gaia
Feb 27, 2011

a storm is coming...

Okay so I'm missing two upgrades (and a whole bunch of achievements but I suspect those are for challenge builds of some sort). I have every cookie type, and all pink-tier upgrades, as well as the extra one at 160 that clickers get. What am I missing? I'm guessing it's grandma related. They're shifty. They're up to something, I just know it. They want some of my 1 billion 300 million cookies per second. Well they can't have any. They're all mine. ALL MINE.

Davinci
Feb 21, 2013
I'm at 100% milk and I just bought the blue cat upgrade, it gave me the blue cat and the gold cat and my CPS didn't go up at all. I think this may or may not be a bug.

Spiffo
Nov 24, 2005

What does milk do? How does it work?

Sea Lily
Aug 5, 2007

Everything changes, Pit.
Even gods.

Spiffo posted:

What does milk do? How does it work?

It looks like you get more milk for getting more achievements, and then the cats make it so the milk gives you additional (and exponentially increasing?) CPS.

Davinci
Feb 21, 2013

Spiffo posted:

What does milk do? How does it work?

The cat upgrade is supposed to raise your CPS exponentially for each percent of milk you have. I think that is how everyone is getting like 300 billion CPS and other ridiculous numbers. Other than working with the cats, I'm not sure what it's supposed to do.

EDIT: Well now I have 102% milk so I'm not sure of anything anymore.

Davinci fucked around with this message at 22:22 on Aug 27, 2013

Infinity Gaia
Feb 27, 2011

a storm is coming...

I made a terrible mistake and reloaded again, and it made my cats stop working. Goodbye, 3 billion CPS.

abraham linksys
Sep 6, 2010

:darksouls:
I'm pretty sure buying those cats is going to win me this game within five minutes, but it's going to take me an hour to save up enough to buy them :argh:

cat doter
Jul 27, 2006



gonna need more cheese...australia has a lot of crackers
Oh. OH NO. WHY DOES THIS EXIST. WHYYYYY

HELP MEEEEEEEEE

Leadthumb
Mar 24, 2006

Cookies.

Automata 10 Pack
Jun 21, 2007

Ten games published by Automata, on one cassette
I hate this loving game.

I hate all these loving type of games.

They're not fun! They're just addictive. It's like they're designed to jam a stick into whatever button in my brain renders me a loving slave to habit.

This is stupid, I should close the tab! But... I'm just a couple minutes away from building another time machine so maybe I'll have it run in the background while I read a thread or something. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

fake edit: Built a time machine! Okay, just gotta wait a bit more. Oh hey, I can upgrade my mines. Hmm, I should go calculate the efficiency of that upgradOH WHAT AM I DOING?

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big mean giraffe
Dec 13, 2003

Eat Shit and Die

Lipstick Apathy
I don't see any cats or milk are you guys playing an old version?

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