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luscious posted:I'd record and sell this as a clip. Someone would like it... maybe someone who wanted to be humiliated and liked the idea of being watched, or someone who was into the idea of knowing that a goon could share a room with me but not said customer. I can't imagine the kind of creep that would want to watch a super hot camgirl talk about locking me in a chastity cage and smashing my nuts while a goon stares from the background watching my epic humiliation. That would be so weird, right? Anyway, do you sell clips? Do you run into obscenity laws or record-keeping restrictions? I know nothing about Canadian law except that all the cops have to ride horses all the time.
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Sep 2, 2013 05:15
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Very Nice Eraser posted:I can't imagine the kind of creep that would want to watch a super hot camgirl talk about locking me in a chastity cage and smashing my nuts while a goon stares from the background watching my epic humiliation. That would be so weird, right? It sounds like you already have been imagining this! quote:Anyway, do you sell clips? Do you run into obscenity laws or record-keeping restrictions? I know nothing about Canadian law except that all the cops have to ride horses all the time. I have videos that I sell specifically on the camsite. I don't know a lot about obscenity laws or record-keeping restrictions (what is that?) because I only do vanilla stuffs. I would consider doing clip requests too in another cam cycle. Clip sales are kinda interesting because there's really something for everyone and you can find weird poo poo. Crushing is one that I don't understand... like extreme crushing. So picture me jumping on someone violently. Or maybe something else fun like balloon fetish (the look of surprise on the person's face when the balloon pops) or even more tame like foot tickling. I think that the weirdest clip I have ever heard of being made was someone pretending to get hit by a car. I will say that I kinda do love knowing that people who have really weird fetishes can find a way to be indulged. It makes me happy to know that someone can get off on something that truly excites them and when the option comes up if I am comfortable with it I'm happy to oblige.
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Sep 2, 2013 05:32
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luscious posted:Does that make sense? It makes enough sense for porn to be made of it, though that is a pretty low bar.
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Sep 2, 2013 05:34
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Aggressive pricing posted:It makes enough sense for porn to be made of it, though that is a pretty low bar. If I move to Ottawa you can be my porno accomplice, caregiver, and camera man while I'm in a camming cycle. In a stripping cycle your duties will include driving me to and from work, cooking and cleaning up after me, and possibly servicing my friends sexually. It seems really horrible and tedious to me but I think that other people are really into the idea. It is a paid position, btw. I know it seems like this is kind of tongue and cheek but I'm being absolutely serious.
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Sep 2, 2013 05:43
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luscious posted:If I move to Ottawa you can be my porno accomplice, caregiver, and camera man while I'm in a camming cycle. In a stripping cycle your duties will include driving me to and from work, cooking and cleaning up after me, and possibly servicing my friends sexually. I'm down like clown with a frown.
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Sep 2, 2013 05:53
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luscious posted:
So, what's the worst behaviour you've ever had from a stripclub customer? And has anyone ever gotten dances from you and then walked away without paying? luscious posted:
In which case, I feel compelled to ask what the weirdest fetishes you've ever a) indulged someone in and b) said no to are?
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Sep 2, 2013 14:59
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I saw you said you work through a cam site, do you know if cam girls often go independent? Set up their own streams, bill people, basically find regulars using the cam site to somewhat advertise and then doing most of their business on the side so they get the full amount? Would that be a logistical and billing nightmare? Second question I had, you mentioned that you've got two guys who will come in and drop a grand on you when they see you. What exactly are they buying, at that point? I'm seeing there's no Champagne/VIP rooms where you are, when someone buys an hour at 300 is that just a really, really long lapdance? Do club clients get a friendlier you when they basically tip excessively? I guess, I've spent alot of time working as a server, I know regulars who tip you well generally inspire exceptional service from anyone waiting tables. How does that translate into the club world? troublegum posted:b) said no to are? Furthering things you've said no to, have you ever gotten a request that flat out cracked you up? Ever laughed at someone completely unintentionally either on cam or in the club? TheSpiritFox fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Sep 2, 2013 |
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Sep 2, 2013 15:26
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troublegum posted:So, what's the worst behaviour you've ever had from a stripclub customer? And has anyone ever gotten dances from you and then walked away without paying? When I first started I got ripped off 2-300$. I should have left the situation while it was happening since I knew something was up and had no real reason to be there. I was doing a doubles dance with a woman who was doing things that I wasn't comfortable doing so I was just standing there watching like an idiot. They could have dismissed me but they didn't. I could have easily left though. Later on I was ripped off 70$. It's not a HUGE deal but it was kind of annoying because that was at a busy club on a busy day and I could have MADE that 70 instead of being ripped off. I have seen girls get insulted (myself included), girls be ripped off (a girl I know got ripped off 200$ recently), have seen guys take pictures / videos (they get deleted if we catch them), and have seen girls who were drugged. quote:In which case, I feel compelled to ask what the weirdest fetishes you've ever a) indulged someone in and b) said no to are? I'm not really good at fetishes but like I said earlier in the thread there was the cheese slice dude, foot tickling, the stuff that I mentioned just a few posts up about clips that are strange. I've indulged someone in a feeding fetish where I forced him to eat on cam and called him fat / other mean things. I also did an ignore fetish with someone where I was looking at university programs online / houses listed for sale while he sat there paying. TheSpiritFox posted:I saw you said you work through a cam site, do you know if cam girls often go independent? Set up their own streams, bill people, basically find regulars using the cam site to somewhat advertise and then doing most of their business on the side so they get the full amount? Would that be a logistical and billing nightmare? Some girls do go independent or at least semi-independent and use Skype and either Payoneer or payment through website. The challenges that indie girls face are traffic, payment, and possibly hosting if they don't want to use Skype. If you're doing it full time and can / want to put in the time and effort to deal with / avoid / work through all those challenges then it's worth it. I personally don't see the point since I only really do it part time and manage to do well through the site. I think that I would be making LESS if I was making 100% of what I was charging but doing it indie so I don't mind. quote:Second question I had, you mentioned that you've got two guys who will come in and drop a grand on you when they see you. What exactly are they buying, at that point? I'm seeing there's no Champagne/VIP rooms where you are, when someone buys an hour at 300 is that just a really, really long lapdance? Do club clients get a friendlier you when they basically tip excessively? I guess, I've spent alot of time working as a server, I know regulars who tip you well generally inspire exceptional service from anyone waiting tables. How does that translate into the club world? What are you asking? Are you asking if they get special treatment like do I provide extras for them? The people who spend that much on me have very similar interests and are people who I invest a lot of time in outside of the club. One of them texts with me almost daily, the other is just lonely and hungry for companionship. I offer them both a girlfriend experience where I remember / communicate with them outside of the club, bring them comics / dvds that they might be interested in... it's mostly just that they know that they mean something to me. I guess that is "exceptional service" but not really... it's just part of doing my job that I guess I do really well. quote:Furthering things you've said no to, have you ever gotten a request that flat out cracked you up? Ever laughed at someone completely unintentionally either on cam or in the club? Sometimes guys have super specific requests that more make me make a face like "wtf?" than anything else. I don't know if there is anything that is truly too far ~out there~ anymore.
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Sep 2, 2013 18:22
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I think I have an idea of one of 2 bases you might work at (canada goons  ), and all I have to say is, my condolences  That aside, I'm kind of curious about what it's like when people (friends/acquaintances/family) find out the line of work you're in, esp. in a military town. From my limited experience military towns(at least the one air force base and army base) are really conservative, but there's this weird contradiction where it's generally seen as morally poor to be in the sex industry in these sorts of places, but the same people still use their services. Like, have you ever had a friend you met outside of your work that later saw you at the strip club and got all awkward and weird about it? Also, some friends are going to be taking me to a strip club(never been to one before), and I was curious how much money I should bring with me to not be seen as a cheap rear end in a top hat? Mederlock fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Sep 2, 2013 |
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Sep 2, 2013 19:40
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luscious posted:The people who spend that much on me have very similar interests and are people who I invest a lot of time in outside of the club. One of them texts with me almost daily, the other is just lonely and hungry for companionship. I offer them both a girlfriend experience where I remember / communicate with them outside of the club, bring them comics / dvds that they might be interested in... it's mostly just that they know that they mean something to me. I guess that is "exceptional service" but not really... it's just part of doing my job that I guess I do really well. How seperate are your business and personal lives? You mentioned the deployed soldier, do you ever worry about this sort of customer getting too attached?
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Sep 2, 2013 19:48
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How many PMs have you gotten since you started this thread?
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Sep 2, 2013 19:55
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luscious posted:What are you asking? Are you asking if they get special treatment like do I provide extras for them? Yeah that's pretty much what I was asking. Absent sex I was wondering if they were monopolizing you for the night, were getting something like the girlfriend experience you mentioned, or were just basically dudes willing to throw more money than necessary at you to have that "I'm loaded" reputation. You said you bring them things, do you go out on dates with them? The actual escorting part of escort, without the sex part? And are "girlfriend experiences" common? Just being companionship for lonely guys?
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Sep 2, 2013 20:03
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Mederlock posted:That aside, I'm kind of curious about what it's like when people (friends/acquaintances/family) find out the line of work you're in, esp. in a military town. From my limited experience military towns are really conservative, but there's this weird contradiction where it's generally seen as morally poor to be in the sex industry in these sorts of places, but the same people still use their services. Like, have you ever had a friend you met outside of your work that later saw you at the strip club and got all awkward and weird about it? Also, some friends are going to be taking me to a strip club(never been to one before), and I was curious how much money I should bring with me to not be seen as a cheap rear end in a top hat? I don't really do that much in this city. I moved here two years ago for work and work is really all that I do. I'm really out, as well... it's not hard to figure out what I do. It does make things like dating difficult because I don't want to date anyone who goes to the club, yet people who don't go to the club don't really get it and have a hard time with imagining what happens there. I don't want to date someone who grew up here because they will have friends who come to the club as well and I don't want to run into friends of a romantic partner. It gets pretty muddled up and is really annoying but whatever. Pretty much anyone who knows me knows that I'm a stripper... camgirl I keep a bit more on the DL. Aggressive pricing posted:How seperate are your business and personal lives? You mentioned the deployed soldier, do you ever worry about this sort of customer getting too attached? I do communicate with people outside of the club through text and email. It's at my discretion though and I'm careful with it because it really has to be worth it for me to continue any kind of text relationship with someone. W/r/t them getting too attached I can either ban them if it's camming or just ignore and avoid them if they come to the club. If they get way too attached and start to stalk me I would take the steps that people take when they have a stalker ever (restraining order etc.) and would get them banned from the club. Not My Goodies posted:How many PMs have you gotten since you started this thread? None actually. I got more in the DJ thread when I talked about my blog. TheSpiritFox posted:Yeah that's pretty much what I was asking. Absent sex I was wondering if they were monopolizing you for the night, were getting something like the girlfriend experience you mentioned, or were just basically dudes willing to throw more money than necessary at you to have that "I'm loaded" reputation. You said you bring them things, do you go out on dates with them? The actual escorting part of escort, without the sex part? It becomes at least a three hour investment if they are spending a G. Guys up here don't really throw money around like that... like people who HAVE that money are quiet about that money unless they are a celebrity. I have gone to dinner with a few people that I met at the club. I guess that it is escorting... I saw it more as business advancement or going out for dinner with a friend since I didn't get paid. I do know people who will only do that kind of thing if they are paid which I would have no problem with (when I say that I have no problem with any kind of sex work as long as the provider is comfortable and acting within their boundaries I mean it) but I have yet to just hangout for money. I think that they're more common than people think. I went over the whole "money friends" thing a bit in the other thread.
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Sep 2, 2013 21:05
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I've heard of girls getting eaten out in backrooms and more than a few who basically used their job as advertising for their prostitution, how far have you seen things go at a club?
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Sep 4, 2013 03:52
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Aggressive pricing posted:I've heard of girls getting eaten out in backrooms and more than a few who basically used their job as advertising for their prostitution, how far have you seen things go at a club? Depends what city you're in w/r/t amount of prostitution or how far things can / will go on a regular basis. It also depends on the individual girl and what her boundaries are / what the situation is. In certain cities (especially border cities in Canada) it is easy to find someone who offers extras and it is, in some cases, expected that girls will offer them. That said, just because they are expected does not mean that everyone will and does not mean that you are entitled to them. For example, when I was working in Toronto, it was pretty much expected that I would be offering extras and it was incredibly hard to put up with the daily abuse from customers who felt completely entitled to everything. Like I have said before, I really don't care what people do as long as they are being safe and are within their boundaries. But what does that mean? What is "within boundaries" when money is involved? On nights that there is more money to be made or less money to be made, I find that boundaries are more fluid. Like, I have boundaries that I won't cross no matter what and then I have boundaries that I probably won't cross and then I have boundaries that go from customer to customer that also are kind of a sliding scale. So on Saturday I was having a really good night and knew I was going to come up just short of a goal. A customer offered me more money if I would just kiss him. I said no to him, but I have said and even initiated kissing with customers in the past. I have seen girls doing everything from footjobs to full service. And I know of a number of girls who do use stripping as advertising for hoeing. That said, as long as it's not in the club, I don't much care.
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Sep 4, 2013 05:39
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If prostitution were ever decriminalized, do you think that there would be a large drop in demand for strip clubs? I'll admit that I'm a bit uninformed on the issue, but it seems that part of the reason strip clubs are as popular as they are is because they're the closest you can get to full sex without breaking the law.
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Sep 4, 2013 06:29
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VirtualStranger posted:If prostitution were ever decriminalized, do you think that there would be a large drop in demand for strip clubs? I'll admit that I'm a bit uninformed on the issue, but it seems that part of the reason strip clubs are as popular as they are is because they're the closest you can get to full sex without breaking the law. Hm. It is generally more acceptable to see an escort than it is to be an escort (illegally) and they're just so different. I mean, I don't live in a place where you can just go to brothels so I can't really say for sure but I do think that part of the fun of going to the stripclub is that there's a whole culture around it that has been established and maintained. Go to the club, see pretty girls, embarrass dudes on stage, go for dances, get teased, brag about what happened to you and ~no one will ever really know the truth~... that kind of thing. I don't think that the same thing can happen at a brothel. There are places where prostitution is legal and where strippers and stripclubs still do fine. I think that it's because the people who do consider it "the closest you can get to full service without breaking the law" aren't the kind of people who really GO to clubs or are, at least, the kind of customers that we hate and try to avoid and who don't spend that much anyway. I danced for a guy a while ago who showed up wearing jogging pants and tried to move me how he wanted me to (back and forth grind) while asking me if my dance was going to get "more intense" (I don't grind that much). I don't want to dance for someone who is using me as a sex doll and is trying to manipulate me in a way that is going to manually stimulate them until they get off. In fact, I don't know ANYONE who wants to put up with that. I know girls who will and like I said, consent is kinda fluid, but do you really ever want to deal with someone whose attitude is "get the most for the least"? Stripclubs are a social environment where people go to look at pretty ladies and be entertained. If all the customers who go to stripclubs because they are "as close to full service as you can get without breaking the law" would just die or never come back it would be too soon. And tbh, the amount that my business would suffer (not that much) would be made up for with the peace of mind I would gain. luscious fucked around with this message at 07:07 on Sep 4, 2013 |
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Sep 4, 2013 07:04
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VirtualStranger posted:If prostitution were ever decriminalized, do you think that there would be a large drop in demand for strip clubs? I think it's a lot like drugs, the people who want to do them will find a way whether or not it's legal and the people who like a beer after work won't switch to coke just because it became legal. If anything, I'd guess "massage parlors" would take a big hit, but even then, they'd probably just turn into full on brothels. luscious posted:Stripclubs are a social environment where people go to look at pretty ladies and be entertained. The handful of strip clubs I've been to were fairly dark, with loud music, and had very expensive drinks, none of that really made it feel like a social experience to me. Burlesque shows, on the other hand have had a fun, relaxed atmosphere where it felt like everyone, preformers and audience, were in on the joke. Strip clubs basically seem to take "lol boobs" way to seriously, any thoughts on that?
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Sep 4, 2013 15:58
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Aggressive pricing posted:I think it's a lot like drugs, the people who want to do them will find a way whether or not it's legal and the people who like a beer after work won't switch to coke just because it became legal. If anything, I'd guess "massage parlors" would take a big hit, but even then, they'd probably just turn into full on brothels. My ex wife thought that strip clubs for men were too serious and the men didn't really get in on the joke. She thought male revues for women were a fun time where the women knew what was up and took things more lightheartedly or less seriously to have a good time.
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Sep 4, 2013 18:10
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Aggressive pricing posted:I think it's a lot like drugs, the people who want to do them will find a way whether or not it's legal and the people who like a beer after work won't switch to coke just because it became legal. If anything, I'd guess "massage parlors" would take a big hit, but even then, they'd probably just turn into full on brothels. I mean, they kinda already are. Even if the service isn't explicitly offered, you don't have to go far to find a massage attendant who is willing to do full service. I had a customer who never really had sex and told him he should see an escort. Instead he went to a massage parlour a few times in Toronto and had different levels of sexual experiences ranging from handjob to full service. I think that full service was about 250$. quote:The handful of strip clubs I've been to were fairly dark, with loud music, and had very expensive drinks, none of that really made it feel like a social experience to me. Burlesque shows, on the other hand have had a fun, relaxed atmosphere where it felt like everyone, preformers and audience, were in on the joke. Strip clubs basically seem to take "lol boobs" way to seriously, any thoughts on that? I'd say that the social aspect is more "we're going to the club!" than anything else. Maybe it's not... I'm just going on what I see / the dynamics that bring guys in. I really prefer small groups or single guys though. Strippers and burlesque dancers don't generally get along but I just woke up and will let you either do your own digging to see why / how deep that is or will tell you later. Gatts posted:My ex wife thought that strip clubs for men were too serious and the men didn't really get in on the joke. She thought male revues for women were a fun time where the women knew what was up and took things more lightheartedly or less seriously to have a good time. When people don't take what I do seriously I get really annoyed. I mean, I'm not asking people to be like "oh my goodness Ms. Stripper I am honoured to be in your presence!" but when people act like my job is a joke or really campy it is annoying. I take it very seriously and unlike a male stripclub, I'm not in a minority of performers doing a choreographed routine that is more theatre than much else. I talked in the DJ thread about some of the main differences between male and female stripclubs and the biggest one still remains that female stripclubs, unless you're at a showgirls kinda place, aren't about the stage performances. We make our money (or the majority of our money) selling lapdances. As such, while stage performances can be important, they are not what we focus on... they're kind of extra. So while a male stripclub can afford to be campy and all about entertaining a CROWD, female strippers tend to focus on individual entertainment and exposure. It is just a different experience with a different audience and a different atmosphere and the idea of someone's wife thinking that female stripclubs take themselves too seriously while the men are obviously in on the joke and having fun is kinda... offputting. Like, Chipendales are celebrated and loved and I can almost guarantee you that there's no one in the audience (after buying a really overpriced ticket) looking for one whose smile isn't genuine. I can also guarantee that people are getting kicked out if they are misbehaving and that instead of having insults slung at the performers all night they are generally praised. One of the reasons why female strippers might not have the same happy go lucky attitude is because we are constantly shamed and constantly looked down on and apparently can't even operate without people thinking we take it too seriously  Yeah, it's tits and pussy and overpriced beer but it's also people assuming "blurred lines!" and compound PTSD and ongoing shaming from society at large. So I guess it should be obvious as to why it's sometimes hard to not take it seriously?
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Sep 4, 2013 19:11
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luscious posted:I'd say that the social aspect is more "we're going to the club!" than anything else. Maybe it's not... I'm just going on what I see / the dynamics that bring guys in. I can definitely see it as a social thing for the guys going, when my friends and I turned 18 part of the experience was being old enough to go to Hull and hit up some strip clubs and buying each other stage dives. I thought you meant it was social between you and the customers, which isn't something I've experienced at a club, but probably does happen with regular customers. luscious posted:
Some quick googling makes it seem like the issue is burlesque dancers thinking their better for offering a different service. The most sense I can make out of it is they aren't really comfortable with what they're doing and want to distance themselves from the sex industry, which is pretty dumb, considering that their job is to get on stage and pander their sexuality. One page I skimmed over claimed that the difference was theatricality and personality, and I have to say, any stripper that doesn't pull those off probably isn't a very good stripper.
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Sep 4, 2013 20:11
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Aggressive pricing posted:Some quick googling makes it seem like the issue is burlesque dancers thinking their better for offering a different service. The most sense I can make out of it is they aren't really comfortable with what they're doing and want to distance themselves from the sex industry, which is pretty dumb, considering that their job is to get on stage and pander their sexuality. One page I skimmed over claimed that the difference was theatricality and personality, and I have to say, any stripper that doesn't pull those off probably isn't a very good stripper. Welllllllll ok. Here's the thing. I think that every stripper can be a good stripper in his or her own way as long as she understands how to work her own hustle. So she might not have a good personality but she might have the ability to seduce men really quickly and easily. Hell, I know girls who can hardly speak English yet are able to make a lot of money because they can keep guys by either being really sexual or really sensual. I also know girls who aren't really sexy at all but have a good personality and are able to keep guys in the VIP like that. So it isn't what you have or don't have - it's how you use it. And I'm not going to judge anyone or call someone a bad stripper for not having theatricality or lack of personality / not a good personality because half the time I'm really bitch faced and stone cold yet manage to do really well for myself. People who are in jobs that started in the sex industry (pole dance, burlesque) do like to distance themselves from it and have this cultural whorephobia that is just really "better than you". I don't get it since it's pretty much the same thing except hobby vs. job but whatever. As long as I'm not experiencing direct attitude from people who are appropriating things from the industry that I work in I don't really care. I like to think that at some point these people can look at themselves and say "hm, maybe I shouldn't shame someone who is doing what I do but doing it professionally!" but whorephobia, engrained misogyny, and the Madonna/Whore complex pretty much guarantee that this isn't going to happen anytime soon. And don't even get me started on burlesque dancers who go on about how they are strippers...
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Sep 4, 2013 20:42
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luscious posted:When people don't take what I do seriously I get really annoyed. I mean, I'm not asking people to be like "oh my goodness Ms. Stripper I am honoured to be in your presence!" but when people act like my job is a joke or really campy it is annoying. I take it very seriously and unlike a male stripclub, I'm not in a minority of performers doing a choreographed routine that is more theatre than much else. I should clarify. She means from the perspective that she feels that some men in the strip club have a notion that something might happen with the stripper or get attached and start to get emotionally tied into it.
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Sep 4, 2013 21:03
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Gatts posted:I should clarify. She means from the perspective that she feels that some men in the strip club have a notion that something might happen with the stripper or get attached and start to get emotionally tied into it. I'm kinda into that though because ultimately it's the fantasy that has people coming in, spending, and staying in a spending attitude. I like to think that they all know that chances are nothing is going to happen and that the ones who don't feel that way eventually get it. It is all about the fantasy though and that's why male stripclubs aren't as popular. The fantasy for women isn't that they're going to happen upon a hot dude who is going to love rubbing against them... it's more of a psychological experience that gets women off so erotica is much more up our alley if anything. I don't think that many women are like "oh hey this dude that I just met is going to know exactly what I want/need!" The women who go to male stripclubs are there to have fun and see dudes being campy and theatrical.
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Sep 4, 2013 21:12
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luscious posted:Welllllllll ok. Here's the thing. I think that every stripper can be a good stripper in his or her own way as long as she understands how to work her own hustle. That's exactly what I meant by personality and theatrics.
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Sep 4, 2013 21:22
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Aggressive pricing posted:That's exactly what I meant by personality and theatrics. Smoke and mirrors can make a sweet personality. Like I said, it's all about the fantasy so sometimes I think that they're into the whole "can't speak English" or whatever because they like the idea of a girl who can't say no, won't say no, seems desperate, seems unhappy, seems happy... I dunno.
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Sep 4, 2013 21:24
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luscious posted:Smoke and mirrors can make a sweet personality. Like I said, it's all about the fantasy so sometimes I think that they're into the whole "can't speak English" or whatever because they like the idea of a girl who can't say no, won't say no, seems desperate, seems unhappy, seems happy... I dunno. Oh yeah, I wouldn't expect the personality a stripper presents to be her actual personality, anyone good at customer service knows you need to put on the right mask for the right customer.
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Sep 4, 2013 21:27
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Aggressive pricing posted:Oh yeah, I wouldn't expect the personality a stripper presents to be her actual personality, anyone good at customer service knows you need to put on the right mask for the right customer. I dunno... I don't really have a stripper persona. What you see if what you get. I do pretend to be more interested in certain things for certain customers but I am not good at playing games and pretending to be other people. It does cut my money a bit but not enough that I care to try harder. I mean, acting all day all night is too much - especially when you work at the same club for a long time. It's kinda hard to lie for three years...
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Sep 4, 2013 21:34
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luscious posted:There are places where prostitution is legal and where strippers and stripclubs still do fine. I think that it's because the people who do consider it "the closest you can get to full service without breaking the law" aren't the kind of people who really GO to clubs or are, at least, the kind of customers that we hate and try to avoid and who don't spend that much anyway. I danced for a guy a while ago who showed up wearing jogging pants and tried to move me how he wanted me to (back and forth grind) while asking me if my dance was going to get "more intense" (I don't grind that much). I don't want to dance for someone who is using me as a sex doll and is trying to manipulate me in a way that is going to manually stimulate them until they get off. In fact, I don't know ANYONE who wants to put up with that. I know girls who will and like I said, consent is kinda fluid, but do you really ever want to deal with someone whose attitude is "get the most for the least"? I doubt that the kind of dickbags you describe here would even be able to get past most escorts' screening processes anyway. And if they did, I imagine they'd find themselves blacklisted pretty quickly. Speaking of which, do strip clubs have blacklists? If someone is making trouble, can the club put up an alert for other clubs to not let them in?
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Sep 4, 2013 21:36
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VirtualStranger posted:I doubt that the kind of dickbags you describe here would even be able to get past most escorts' screening processes anyway. And if they did, I imagine they'd find themselves blacklisted pretty quickly. There are various kinds of escorts, not all of whom have as strict screening processes as others. Some require little to no screening, others require intense screening that includes references from other providers. Realistically, a person can be banned from a place but a person can't really be "industry banned" due to the general lack of organization that exists (doesn't exist?) in this industry. I think that is largely due to a lack of job investment and again, the engrained misogyny that exists in our society that essentially has us all working against each other. I have a friend who did a doubles dance with another girl and the guy that they were dancing for was misbehaving quite a bit. My friend told him that she was going to start charging him extra if he kept misbehaving and eventually came to charge the guy 40$ for the two 20$ dance that she did due to his infractions. My friend got the 80$ that she was rightfully owed but the other girl not only made excuses for the guy but also refused to charge the guy double like my friend did and only accepted 40$ (even though the guy was willing to pay) because she felt that he was being ripped off and felt sorry for him. So even though the guy was doing things that were pushing boundaries that were being enforced and explained in an ongoing fashion, the other girl didn't feel that the guy had to deal with any kind of punishment / consequences for his actions and even made excuses and refunded the guy the money that he paid her. I should say that the other girl was part of a clique that we call the "Dino Crew" who are notoriously bad at hustling, making money, and charging for things. They're also the most misogynistic women I have ever met and have caused a huge upset that has caused the whole club to essentially divide. Unfortunately none of us are supposed to know what happened so I can't really talk about it but it's really horrible and I wish that I could. The only kind of widespread blacklisting that I have ever seen happen was against girls by club management that all knew each other. Girls could be banned from a club for stupid things like not taking their clothes off on stage fast enough or not following silly rules that the club had. It was essentially held over our heads that if we didn't do exactly what they wanted us to do we would be kicked out and "would never work in Southern Ontario again!" I mean, it's kinda BS because all that clubs care about is money and they're making house fees off of us all but that's the way that this game is played. Follow the rules exactly or deal with the consequences. In this case the consequences were that you wouldn't work again and the rules were completely arbitrary. luscious fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Sep 4, 2013 |
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Sep 4, 2013 21:51
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luscious posted:I dunno... I don't really have a stripper persona. What you see if what you get. I do pretend to be more interested in certain things for certain customers but I am not good at playing games and pretending to be other people. It does cut my money a bit but not enough that I care to try harder. I mean, acting all day all night is too much - especially when you work at the same club for a long time. It's kinda hard to lie for three years... I wouldn't go as far as calling it lying or pretending to be someone else. I used to work retail and I'd behave differently for different customers, if it was a frail 80 year old woman, my body language and way of speaking would be very different than if it was someone my age, or a tradesman, or anything else that gave me a hint as to what would meet their expectations. E: it worked well too, some people would look specifically for me and at a job where people don't get tips, I got more than a few tips. Aggressive pricing fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Sep 4, 2013 |
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Sep 4, 2013 22:04
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Aggressive pricing posted:I wouldn't go as far as calling it lying or pretending to be someone else. I used to work retail and I'd behave differently for different customers, if it was a frail 80 year old woman, my body language and way of speaking would be very different than if it was someone my age, or a tradesman, or anything else that gave me a hint as to what would meet their expectations. I just want to be careful with any line of question / any branch of discussion that runs along the lines of "a good stripper will do this, a bad stripper won't". I know that isn't the way that you are necessarily meaning for that to happen and have clarified that you don't feel this way but I am trying to be really careful that we don't go there. I sometimes do kill the fantasy if the customer is really getting out of bounds and thinks that something is happening that isn't. Again, I don't care if that cuts my business... I want to be on the same page with my customers when the outcome might become sexual assault / rape, y'know?
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Sep 4, 2013 22:20
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luscious posted:I sometimes do kill the fantasy if the customer is really getting out of bounds and thinks that something is happening that isn't. Again, I don't care if that cuts my business... I want to be on the same page with my customers when the outcome might become sexual assault / rape, y'know? Yeah, for sure, I have no doubt you know what you're doing and all of my customer service experince has come from very different environments than what you work in, so it doesn't quite relate. I find the similarities and differences between sex work and other types of service pretty interesting. Do you think your work has given you any transferable skills?
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Sep 4, 2013 22:33
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Aggressive pricing posted:Yeah, for sure, I have no doubt you know what you're doing and all of my customer service experince has come from very different environments than what you work in, so it doesn't quite relate. I find the similarities and differences between sex work and other types of service pretty interesting. Absolutely. I don't know of a more deliberate, focused, and business minded group of people than strippers that I have met (not all, but many). We are good at being our own bosses, we are able to manage money, risk assessment, personal taxes, motivation to excel... Not all strippers are good at / care about these things but I'd wager that we are in the majority. Most strippers who leave the industry excel / go into jobs where they can be self-employed like real estate and other high risk-high reward industries like that.
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Sep 4, 2013 22:41
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luscious posted:Welllllllll ok. Here's the thing. I think that every stripper can be a good stripper in his or her own way as long as she understands how to work her own hustle. So she might not have a good personality but she might have the ability to seduce men really quickly and easily. Hell, I know girls who can hardly speak English yet are able to make a lot of money because they can keep guys by either being really sexual or really sensual. I also know girls who aren't really sexy at all but have a good personality and are able to keep guys in the VIP like that. So it isn't what you have or don't have - it's how you use it. And I'm not going to judge anyone or call someone a bad stripper for not having theatricality or lack of personality / not a good personality because half the time I'm really bitch faced and stone cold yet manage to do really well for myself. I'm somewhat involved in the Burlesque scene in Austin, TX. Worked the Texas Burlesque Festival earlier this year and such. They do go out of their way to differentiate, because whoreaphobia is widespread. It's not so much, I think, that they think they're better than you. It's that they want mainstream acceptance as performance artists and not sex salesmen/women. My friends invite family to their performances. One of my best friends leads a Burlesque troop and her mother goes to her performances when she's in town. I will say (without judgements of any kind) that Burlesque and stripping are fundamentally different. Don't know about pole dancing, but Burlesque is an event devoid of consent issues, which is what they really emphasize. They're stage performers and nothing more. They do not engage in sex acts for the crowd, or allow the crowd to engage in sex acts. There is no touching, and obviously no "extras" as you've mentioned in previous posts. It's a line they draw that you do not. They are an exhibition of sexuality, but at no point are actual sexual acts involved in the proceedings. Again, I'm not saying the line needs to be drawn or shouldn't be drawn or whatnot. I personally have no problem with the sex industry. I'm just pointing out that Burlesque as it currently exists draws a line at consent, whether they are making money off of their performances or just enjoying a hobby. I know performers on both sides of the paid/hobby line and they try very hard to portray what they do as a performance art and to make comparisons between themselves and theater or film acting when it comes to the sexuality inherent in what they do, rather than strippers or escorts. I don't think they're that far off in the differentiations they make, it just sucks that the reasons they make them is to not get tarred with the same brush you do. Would be nice if no one got tarred in the first place, but I imagine we're a long, long way from that society.
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Sep 4, 2013 23:13
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TheSpiritFox posted:I'm somewhat involved in the Burlesque scene in Austin, TX. Worked the Texas Burlesque Festival earlier this year and such. Thank you for this... I think that it is really important for both sides to share their experiences and opinions and I actually hadn't considered the whole "biggest difference being consent"  I had thought that there would be more interest in this thread as the DJ thread and a past stripper thread were really popular and ongoing. Thanks for the ratings though... Please do continue asking questions if you have them... I'm definitely open to answer them if the interest is there
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Sep 7, 2013 23:32
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luscious posted:Thank you for this... I think that it is really important for both sides to share their experiences and opinions and I actually hadn't considered the whole "biggest difference being consent" Lacking any other ideas for questions of my own right now, stories are always fun. Funny customers, horrifying customers, strange experiences. Stuff like that.
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Sep 7, 2013 23:52
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Very interesting thread, thanks for taking the time. What would you consider the ideal customer in a strip club to be? Money aside, if you were to walk off stage and get approached by a "perfect" customer for a lap dance what would they look/act like? Would they be younger/older attractive/plain well-dressed/poorly dressed foreign/domestic etc. etc. I've been to strip clubs several times and was a little turned off by the over exaggerated role playing of most of the girls and their aggressiveness. It never slips my mind that these women are here to earn a living and I just have a very hard time buying into all their excess conversations/acting. I've found that I much prefer the women who are more direct and get down to business without telling me a story about being in med school or what their hobbies are. I have no objections to strippers and don't see them as objects or anything, I just don't think that you're going to have an honest one-off conversation in a strip club with a stripper who's on the clock and a customer who's hornie/drunk. (I understand regulars can be an exception). I'm the type of person that's very curt and polite in my business handlings. When I get a haircut I'll chat with the barber a bit but I won't spill my life story (who wants to hear that poo poo). When I go clothes shopping I may ask the salesperson to grab me another size but I won't drag them around with me as my personnel shopper. When I leave an establishment I like to think that service workers feel that I was a pretty cool guy who didn't mistreat them and appreciated what they did for me. When I was in high school working in a restaurant I certainly had an idea of what a perfect customer was and always felt happy to help them. Can you get this feeling as stripper short of being drowned in hundred dollar bills? What does it look like?
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Sep 8, 2013 00:38
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Ignoranceisbliss88 posted:Very interesting thread, thanks for taking the time. Perfect customer: wearing clean clothes, clean shaven, recently showered, understanding of boundaries, preferably not super drunk. I don't really care about how a person looks as long as they're hygienic and not wearing clothes that are dirty or specifically designed for a "closer dance" (jogging pants or sweatpants...) I had a great customer yesterday. I was walking by on the way to the dressing room in a "woe is me this night sucks" moment when he grabbed my arm gently and asked if I wanted to go for a dance. We spent the rest of the night in the back together. He said a few gross things ("what would happen if I came in my pants?!") but didn't do anything gross and was really respectful. I had no complaints. There are varying degrees of customer appreciation though and most customers do have their downsides. My long term regular can be hard to dance for because I eventually run out of poo poo to say, a really well dressed and well meaning customer might have sharp nails, a guy might be super hot but be a "titty masher"... I'm going to come back to the rest of your question after work because talking about hustling is kinda hard sometimes. I'll share some stories after work too
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Sep 8, 2013 01:33
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Stories time! I'll start with some of my favourite customers. Generally I don't like it when people lie to me. I find it insulting and unnecessary unless they are intelligent enough to come up with a really good lie. Examples of good lies: the mercenary and the compound. The mercenary guy was probably full of poo poo. He was nice enough... at first he didn't want to tell me what he did. Eventually he started opening up and told me that he was essentially a "transporter" and moved things that were either illegal or...... he told me that he had moved people across borders and blahblah. I don't know why I believed him - it is possible that I was drunk. But anyway, he told a good lie and had obviously invested in it. He told me all about his weapons, his vehicles, the places that he had traveled to. It was pretty sweet. The compound dude showed up with about 10 of his kids. It was in the busy season and the club was packed. Somehow I managed to hook the dad of the group and we got to talking. He told me that he was from out West and lived in the country on a compound. He tried to explain it as something similar to the tv show Sister Wives where there were lots of women and few men and everyone "does their share and helps out". I was totally sold on it. Like. Wanted to move out there and join their motherfucking compound. They were all so funny and drunk and I loved it. After I danced for him I danced for pretty much all of his sons. Eventually one of them said "what compound" and the lie was over. Too bad because I really do want to live on a compound (mxe fueled communal living desires...) and why not with a bunch of lumberjacks. The tickle guy is a dude who loves to tickle us but hates it when people know about it. We all do know though as we call him the tickle guy. He came into the club on Friday and we went for dances. He takes off my shoes right away and then proceeds to start to tickle my feet while staring me in the eye and saying weird poo poo like "are you mocking me?" "why do you do this to me!?" Then he asked me if I had ever seen anyone pop and lock. For what it's worth, he can't. But he tried... and that's all that counts. So those are the guys I can think of off the top of my head. Nothing bizarre happened tonight. It was too slow for anything exciting. There was no drama either... maybe something cool will happen tomorrow.
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Sep 8, 2013 08:29
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