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Suzuki Method
Mar 11, 2012



Plutonium isn't smart,
Miss Pauling.

That doesn't mean it won't kill you if you don't keep tabs on where it is and what it's doing at all times.


There used to be a horrible music/music video thread. I would love a new batch of godawful music to watch/listen to, they're harder to come by when just looking on one's own and something about it is sometimes really endearing in a way.

Some Rules:

1. Look don't touch: If it's a clearly amateur music video or piece of music, don't comment on their videos or whatever, even if they're a Grade-A douchebag.

2. It has to be actually, 'no one would like this' awful. This means no posting mainstream, popular music just because you don't like it or it clearly is a gimmick. This goes for dubstep and other things goons like to make fun of too. It still has an audience. The exception to this rule is if you're posting a godawful song that you know is bad even for that genre of music people often think is bad. In short: No posting 'anything by skrillex ' but 'this particular song by skrillex is godawful even for skrillex' is okay.

3. If someone posts a joke song and the joke was lost on them and they thought it was real, just saying 'it was a joke' will suffice. Last thread people would go on and on about how someone was clearly plebian for not sensing how ironic it was or whatever. Don't do that.

4. no arguing about what's good music or bad music oh my gooooodddd


Last thread I opened the thread with No Way No Way by failed pop group Vanilla, and I'm gonna do it again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGwB-f1xfxM

There's a legend behind this band that says it was the project of a group of bored pop producers who decided to see if they could make a song as bad as possible but still get it on the UK charts. If this is true, they succeeded, it really did land on the charts and the song legitimately had fans.

THE HUNGER is a classic goon favourite. I can't remember the story behind it but it's been posted on the forums ever since I joined and it's pretty uhh... Fantastic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPrek1oAjG0

Here's a Mormon Rap, made today, sounds like the 90's
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TeV8yp8ALM

Some ironic hipster poo poo that my friend was forced to sit through at a show once
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ejzCmjycgw

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Niiice Hat
Jan 11, 2012


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNPjeIamsck
My favourite, hit of my birthyear. My dad owns the single for it.

Niiice Hat fucked around with this message at Sep 13, 2013 around 03:06

Daikatana Ritsu
Aug 1, 2008




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgmTeCkF6RA
Nati-On!

Suzuki Method
Mar 11, 2012



Plutonium isn't smart,
Miss Pauling.

That doesn't mean it won't kill you if you don't keep tabs on where it is and what it's doing at all times.



I saved this just for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yod5TP4GABc

Now one that's not meant to be bad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVdLKsMB4Mw

E: Smells Like Teen Spirit by an IRL actually successful japanese anime voice actress (why)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu_9It7xxvo

Suzuki Method fucked around with this message at Sep 13, 2013 around 03:18

Niiice Hat
Jan 11, 2012


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVFodHsJREg

Here's a video that made me want to die, it is that bad.
This guy is a pyscho, and yes this is serious. It's not meant to be bad at all which makes it even worse.

Niiice Hat fucked around with this message at Sep 13, 2013 around 03:30

Suzuki Method
Mar 11, 2012



Plutonium isn't smart,
Miss Pauling.

That doesn't mean it won't kill you if you don't keep tabs on where it is and what it's doing at all times.


Niiice Hat posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVFodHsJREg

Here's a video that made me want to die, it was that bad.
This guy is a pyscho, and yes this is serious. It's not meant to be bad at all which makes it even worse.

How does video have 10,000 likes? It is barely a song.

This was really absurdly popular when I was in high school. Now I look at the state of the 'likes' bar and I guess everyone is taking back what they thought about it at the time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0

What were we thinking?

I Like to gently caress by Tila Tequila

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyVD8w3DLwI

This actually got pretty popular too where I live. The drum machine isn't even trying.

Niiice Hat
Jan 11, 2012


Suzuki Method posted:

How does video have 10,000 likes? It is barely a song.

This was really absurdly popular when I was in high school. Now I look at the state of the 'likes' bar and I guess everyone is taking back what they thought about it at the time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0

What were we thinking?

I Like to gently caress by Tila Tequila

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyVD8w3DLwI

This actually got pretty popular too where I live. The drum machine isn't even trying.

I have no idea! He's horrible!
And so are those two videos. They were immensely popular when I was in 10th grade.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJuu_4SR8-Y another really God-awful youtube music video. It's even worse than the Onision one.

Fame Throwa
Nov 3, 2007

Time to make all the decisions!

Mark Gormley makes the worst music videos ever, and they are amazing. All of his videos are of him (he is a creepy old guy with a pedostache) standing dead still in what can best be described as a power stance in front of a green screen. You'll want to fast forward about 30 seconds into this one unless you want to hear some numpty rave about how "intense" this video is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87nkJquHnAU

This is a classic from the 90s. Plantman knows that the plants will grow. PLAAAAANTMAN.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQiSgWGAc24

Shine on Me is such a cheesy video it loops around to being awesome. It really has to be seen to be believed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDyDz8WeiM4

GAINING WEIGHT...
Mar 26, 2007

Stop reading my title text


If you motherfuckers don't post Jan Teri....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE2l6CPna4M

The Youtube title for this video is "Worst music video ever".

So.

syscall girl
Nov 6, 2009

I'm not in the business. I am the business.

Niiice Hat posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNPjeIamsck
My favourite, hit of my birthyear. My dad owns the single for it.

Ace of Base was pretty popular back in the day.

BANGS - Take U To Da Movies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmJbJs-9ST0

fleshy echidna
Apr 11, 2010


What's that? Worst music video thread and no Van Canto?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCGQiGEYl4Y

I mean, it kind of loops around to being loving metal as all hell, but is still complete and utter poo poo.

As far as genuinely terrible and awful here are the Millionaires in all their glory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Csoc...&has_verified=1

Kind of hoping that they are some kind of really sarcastic/ironic take on modern music culture, but they have a loyal enough fan base that they are probably just complete little shits.

Suzuki Method
Mar 11, 2012



Plutonium isn't smart,
Miss Pauling.

That doesn't mean it won't kill you if you don't keep tabs on where it is and what it's doing at all times.


syscall girl posted:

Ace of Base was pretty popular back in the day.

It's a bad music video.

syscall girl
Nov 6, 2009

I'm not in the business. I am the business.

Suzuki Method posted:

It's a bad music video.

Agreed, but:

you posted:

This means no posting mainstream, popular music just because you don't like it or it clearly is a gimmick.

wikipedia posted:

Happy Nation / The Sign is one of the best-selling debut albums of all time, and was certified nine times platinum in the United States. It was the first debut album to produce three number 1 singles on the Billboard Mainstream Top 40 chart: "All That She Wants", "The Sign" and "Don't Turn Around".

Red Crown
Oct 20, 2008

Pretend my finger's a knife.

People who took German in high school all over the world will remember Die Prinzen, whether they want to or not:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAKVsHjmKY4

Zombiebeard
Jun 29, 2011

My God. How could anyone do this?


So I'm sure you've heard of Criss "Mindfreak" Angel doing magic for his TV show.

Well prepare for something even more magical:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTVFvavwNdg

twisted mumble
Jul 17, 2006

They see me Rollin. They Hatin, Patrollin and tryin to catch me ridin dirty

I've been waiting to share this little gem:
Anarchist Vampire- Hachet Rydaz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBNK2yUMOD4

Sadly (fortunately) there is no video, but I invite you to partake anyway.
There's a whole album of this on youtube by the way, this is just my "favorite" song.

syscall girl
Nov 6, 2009

I'm not in the business. I am the business.

Mark Gormley - Without You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87nkJquHnAU

Suzuki Method
Mar 11, 2012



Plutonium isn't smart,
Miss Pauling.

That doesn't mean it won't kill you if you don't keep tabs on where it is and what it's doing at all times.


twisted mumble posted:

I've been waiting to share this little gem:
Anarchist Vampire- Hachet Rydaz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBNK2yUMOD4

Sadly (fortunately) there is no video, but I invite you to partake anyway.
There's a whole album of this on youtube by the way, this is just my "favorite" song.

Holy poo poo. I'm really glad I made this thread if only for this.



This reminds me of another weird Youtube old guy who plays... I think it was a synth, always in front of psychedelic fractal backgrounds, anyone know who I'm talking about? No singing. Just dude on a keyboard.

b0nes
Sep 11, 2001


Chuggo - Come on loving guy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhszQbOl95k

JebanyPedal
Feb 17, 2011

Pan American nightmare
Ten thousand feet fun-fair
Convinced that I don't care
It's safe as houses I swear
I was just sitting musing
The virtues of cruising
When altitude dropping
My ears started popping
One more red nightmare


Viper - You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsfnuyyjaB0

MadMattH
Sep 8, 2011


Fred Snyder from the B-52s was always weird, here's a solo effort (kinda):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUnO4gK_56g

a medical mystery
Dec 15, 2007

You're cute!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF2o5RDkq9A

This would be an amazing piece of satire if it was from The Residents. As it is, it's a dissonant mess with a woman who can't sing and strikes "sexy" poses.

32-bit Siren
Mar 21, 2009



There are no words for this. I have reached for them, and there are none.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOWWP-rtAks

dorasage
Nov 3, 2008


Six years after Silent Hill 4: The Room came out, Joe Romersa decided that what this song needed was a music video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWA4BVW1KRQ

I can only ever listen to this song until he starts singing and then I just can't. The video is just icing on the cake.

HairyNipple!
Dec 31, 2004

hello i am fast cheap awesome


PUMP UP THE JAM!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2i77YEMQrQ

DiaBculls
Jul 29, 2013

Scholar, Gamer, Gentleman

Writer, director, actor, and... singer?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmz5P-UqlEU

1secondpersecond
Nov 12, 2008


I originally found "Mailbomb" when Mp3 hosting for bands was relatively new. To my knowledge, http://archive.org/details/iuma-mailbomb (there's a streaming player embedded in the page) is the only place their musical genius lives on in songs like "Hey Mom, Nice Tits". I can say without irony that it's the worst 'music' I've ever heard. Every track belongs on a soundtrack to hell.

edit: "want to see your" is the best one.

1secondpersecond fucked around with this message at Sep 13, 2013 around 14:25

Metal Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

It needs to start with a boom, it needs to end with a boom, and there must be a boom in the middle.


Check this out, it's Denny "Blazin" Hazen, the AVERAGE HOMEBOY.

Vastarien
Dec 20, 2012

Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.


dorasage posted:

Six years after Silent Hill 4: The Room came out, Joe Romersa decided that what this song needed was a music video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWA4BVW1KRQ

I can only ever listen to this song until he starts singing and then I just can't. The video is just icing on the cake.

God, that is painful to watch. And speaking of Silent Hill, this video for Akira Yamaoka's solo/non-game related album isn't much better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48ZQucEfCu0

Here's another video that's painful for me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeOFB3dRWrg

I love this guys early 80s work with his band Iron Curtain. I wonder what the hell happened to him...

sighnoceros
Mar 11, 2007


This guy (Sean Bake HIMSELF) handed me a card on the street in downtown Pittsburgh. Upon visiting the site on the card, I was shown this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTR0all8-L4

What is it about people in Pittsburgh needing to showcase the city in everything they do? I also don't understand why he's walking backwards through half the video, or why he's having so much trouble putting a ring box into a bag.

Starblind
Apr 4, 2007

Encomium in colour

Agadoo by Black Lace,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POv-3yIPSWc

Stouffer
Sep 3, 2011

For the love of God think what you're doing!

My favourite of the 'famous' bad videos (since Jan Terri has already been posted)

Sondra Prill

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZFrmFhXkr0

Maxine Swaby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dbU2f90OAw

And now for some home-grown talent...

Anyone remember when the two poo poo ones from Boyzone released their own rap single? (sadly I couldn't find the official video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVaLbGOSXLs

And a modern showband where a brother and sister sing suggestive lyrics to each other

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAsUfWvIiXY

nael
Sep 10, 2009


1secondpersecond posted:

I originally found "Mailbomb" when Mp3 hosting for bands was relatively new. To my knowledge, http://archive.org/details/iuma-mailbomb (there's a streaming player embedded in the page) is the only place their musical genius lives on in songs like "Hey Mom, Nice Tits". I can say without irony that it's the worst 'music' I've ever heard. Every track belongs on a soundtrack to hell.

edit: "want to see your" is the best one.

Great, now I know what Anal stinkyhole would sound like if they were even worse.

Starblind
Apr 4, 2007

Encomium in colour

This one the main problem isn't so much the song, which is an ultra-low-effort eurodance version of the traditional Zorba's Dance often heard at weddings. The video is a CGI cartoon travesty where one bouncy fat-guy character model was used for everyone and the whole thing looks like a total imagination-free afterthought. Here's LCD ("Large Cool Dudes") with Zorba's Dance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWYHO1tLcqY

Even their name lacked imagination, as Discogs says there are 11 artists known as LCD. Their second (and last) song is arguably even worse. The animation is a tiny bit better but the video is even more boring and the song is a million times worse:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIboUtLTx6c

These both came out the same year as Toy Story 2, by the way.

The Monkey Man
Jun 10, 2012

HERD U WERE TALKIN SHIT

GG Allin's Bad Habits, featuring what may be the worst guitar solo and backing vocals ever recorded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX3HGd-MwoE

A band called "Complete" performing on a Dallas public access show. No two band members seem to be performing the same song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukjnrXTTvPY

Another awesomely bad artist who I enjoy is Copernicus, a poet who has released a whole bunch of albums since the 80's. He rants about the nothingness of existence and atoms.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWfsSFQDwgQ

I also enjoy Neoandertals, a death metal duo that has only drums and bass. I'm honestly not sure whether I like them ironically or unironically. The insanely crude stop-motion in this video is a riot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx7BRmMWaYQ

Also, I remember seeing a video with some horrible youtube rapper in another thread here where he filmed womens' butts while they were walking in a mall, obviously without their permission. I don't have a link handy, though.

Shoe of all Cosmos
Dec 31, 2008

Oh god
How do I reboot Wandows


Starblind posted:

Even their name lacked imagination, as Discogs says there are 11 artists known as LCD. Their second (and last) song is arguably even worse. The animation is a tiny bit better but the video is even more boring and the song is a million times worse:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIboUtLTx6c

This is like a drug trip that has run away from you.

Medium Cool
Dec 27, 2006

Yr sister is a beauty when she's naked


Does anyone have that awful video from that amateur songwriter that got kind of infamous on twitter a while back trying to defend her music video? She had a lot of songs but this video was her singing to an ex-boyfriend or something. I wish I could remember more of it but maybe someone will know what I'm talking about. Anyway, content:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qo392aELFQQ

Metal Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

It needs to start with a boom, it needs to end with a boom, and there must be a boom in the middle.


Back in 1985, the stars of the American Wrestling Association got together to record a song to promote an upcoming stadium event. The result was the "WrestleRock Rumble":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdnB7OLHNwM.

(I guess Nick Bockwinkel was, erm... alright)

Speculus
Sep 19, 2009


OK, this is going back, back, BACK a bit, but...

1940ish, Florence Foster Jenkins, singing "The Queen of the Night", from "The Magic Flute". You have to at least listen to 1:10. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6ubiUIxbWE Murder on the High C's indeed.


1967, William Shatner sings "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", grin and bear it until Bill starts using those marvelous pipes at :34. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AB3uVARNhmM



Also, 1967, apparently Leonard Nimoy was jealous of Shatner's second career and recorded "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins", this one actually has a video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGF5ROpjRAU

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cheapandugly
Jul 6, 2007


a medical mystery posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF2o5RDkq9A

This would be an amazing piece of satire if it was from The Residents. As it is, it's a dissonant mess with a woman who can't sing and strikes "sexy" poses.

The verse kind of reminds me of Constantinople by The Residents actually.

To contribute:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckMvj1piK58
Blackout Crew - Put A Donk On It

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