Megadyptes posted:

Abe must be seriously considering ending his pathetic life after this barrage of own

El Spider posted:

abe is like that one animal that missed getting on to noah's ark and as a result he's getting owned for 30 days and 30 nights

DasNasty posted:

noah's ark was 40 days and nights idiot

El Spider posted:

chill dude not everyone went to sunday school just so they could read the bible alone in a confession booth after class

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

quote:

ABE (dumbass voice)
Aw shucks... I got poop on me!

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Are these things about Abe true? They sound true.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Are these things about Abe true? They sound true.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Are these things about Abe true? They sound true.

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

Dugu Wu Di posted:

They are true because abe is bad homosexer

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

Toad on a Hat posted:

jesus christ

op i have no idea how you're going to stretch this out for an entire month but I am so along for this ride

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

Ahundredbux posted:

i can only imagine op will step up his game with every passing day too
my god this will be a slaughter

no they will not posted:

If 50 different people quote this in the next hour i'll humiliate the op and make him cry like a bitch every day for a month

no they will not posted:

stupid piece of poo poo idiot. rear end in a top hat.

no they will not posted:

this will only become more brutal as time goes on. I hate to do this but I gave my word

no they will not posted:

[whispering to a sleeping abe, like a whistle on the wind] hey abe... you're gay abe... you're going to die while touching your horrible small penis and testicles... you're going to think about your grandma right before your next putrid ejaculation... one time after a particularly exhausting "paw off" you fell asleep without wiping the watery cum off your stomach and when you woke up it dried into a crust.. piece of poo poo... go to hell bitch...

no they will not posted:

Abe: "I uhhh y-yeah can I just, can I just have a c- a bottle of coke please"
Shopkeeper: "Sure, here you go [hands Abe a bottle of diet coke]"
Abe: "Uhhh that's, it's not- I just [eyes dart around, starts hyperventilating] I-I meant that uhh"
Shopkeeper: "Pardon?"
Abe: "N-N uhhh I uh n-nevermind. Thank you very much for the drink. [pays and walks away quickly, close to tears]"

no they will not posted:

Hey abe... Welcome to hell

no they will not posted:

abe is a garbage man who lives in the toilet and eats turds. He uses the energy he gets from eating the turds to moderate gbs. Each turd that he eats gives him the power to mod the forum for 45 minutes.

no they will not posted:

Abe [with a cardboard box over his head]: computer run program sigma alpha six, of a girl who can look at me without spontaneously developing an eve online account on the spot. engage

no they will not posted:

Abe took the "do not remove" tag off his mattress while no one was around and mumbled something about it getting him arrested. One time at burger king he tried to get a straw and accidentally spilled the straws everywhere on the floor. His life insurance has his gender listed as "yes please" and his premium is really high because strangers feel compelled to swerve towards him while driving. he has a bad skin condition as well, so he can't wear wool directly against his skin or it tears off in wet clumps. He's also a dumbass.

no they will not posted:

abe is constantly sobbing, over this or other things, i can definitely say it's because of what's been done here.

no they will not posted:

no they will not posted:

CHIEF
Fender, good to see you. You want coffee? All I got is this instant crap, but-


FENDER
Cut the poo poo, Chief. I know why you called me here. It's about "that" case.


CHIEF
I know you haven't worked with a partner since... what went down in Queens. But you can't complete this mission alone.


FENDER
Dammit Chief, you know I work alone.


CHIEF
Fender... I know it still hurts you. But what happened to O'Brien wasn't your fault.


FENDER pauses for a moment.


FENDER (quietly)
He was a good kid. He didn't deserve to go out like that.


CHIEF
I know, Fender. I know. And that's why we've got to get the scumbags who did this to him. Make sure they can't do this to anyone else.


FENDER grunts dismissively.


FENDER
So who's this "partner" you're sticking me with?


CHIEF
A real go-getter. Fresh out of the academy, but I've got faith in this kid.


FENDER
A rookie!? Chief-


CHIEF
I know, I know. But meet him before you make your judgement. (yelling) ABE! GET IN HERE!


ABE scampers towards the door of the CHIEF's office. In his excitement, he fumbles with the doorknob, and trips over his oversized trousers into the room, falling face first into a big pile of dog feces and ripping the back of his pants, revealing white boxers patterned with red hearts.


ABE (dumbass voice)
Aw shucks... I got poop on me!

no they will not posted:

November 7
^{From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia}

Holidays and observances [edit]

• Throw rocks at abe and injure him day (USA), aka Vreselijke varken van internet dag (Dutch), aka Stench Devil Hatred Festival Disgusting (Japan)
  
• Scottish day of fasting in honour of those who aren't abe
  
• The Nation State of Gruiaisa, formed when abe sneezed at the beach and accidentally expelled his entire sense of dignity^[1], celebrates nothing today because it's too small for anyone to live on except some poo bugs.
  
• In France they hate abe too^[2]
  
• Day of silently watering down half-empty whiskey tumblers with your tears is celebrated annually on this date by abe's parents
  

no they will not posted:

abe bad