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Katana Gomai
Jan 14, 2007


It's a new Blizzard game, it's F2P and right now, it's still relatively hard to get a beta key. So of course it attracts its fair share of idiots, most of whom are found on the official forums, Reddit and Hearthpwn et al. I think it's about drat time we start collecting them.

The rules:
  • No helldumping! Don't quote posts you found on SA! That path leads only to madness and probations for slapfighting; there are plenty of dumb posts to be found outside the hallowed halls of .
  • Source your quotes if you can. Makes it easier to distinguish between quotes and your own dumb opinion.
  • No derails. The Hearthstone general thread is this way, try and keep discussions there.
  • Feel free to tell stories about dumbass opponents you've played, but they better be really loving entertaining.
For starters, here's the guy who put me over the edge and finally made me post the thread: http://us.battle.net/hearthstone/en...pic/10574437362 It was really hard to pick a thread title.

Money maker, not a game for player. posted:

Ok i've lose all my hope in this game.

You've just make another money maker like Wow and all of your game will become like that.
You don't respect your gamer anymore, you take them for sheep and they still are.
So your game will work like that, keeping ppl always dry.

Ok i stop play it and give you my GG.

It was easy to make this game a real FTP,
but you don't want gamer reach there goal by playing.

10 gold for 3 win = 6 game at 50% win rate = 6X10 = 1hour for 10gold = 10 hour to get 1 card pack.
15 Quest 40G, 9 Quest 60G, 1Quest 100G.

Even with daily quest you need to farm playing game for the majority 6 hour to get card pack
and ofc just get some double or tripple card.

Fact are there, this game is bottomless pit.

This game is fun just 4-5 day after that you ll never again play it.
If you read me and have no spend money on this game pls go away, go play a real good game.
Buy Bf4 i don't know but don't spend money on this, it's waste of money for nothing.

Game is good but ruined by marketing. so again Gg !!! and gl for the futur hope you'll always find
more sheep to keep you alive...

quote:

Dude you don't know me, respect me i'm 32.
I've spend money on this game cause i loved him, i though it deserved to get my money in.

Spend 40€ on a game and think it's waste of time at day 4, cause you can't get more gold by playing.

ho sry you can get a card pack with 6 hour game + daily quest, What a fantastic Game !!

and just last thing, this company should fire all those commercial/marketing stuff and get real game...

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Strange Horizon
Sep 21, 2005

It is that black.
It is that black.
It is that black.
It is that black.


5 minutes in the battle.net Priest forum

quote:

For example, if I want to use Mind Control to get the Wing of Death, which have 12 point life, you should have 12 mana to make it. So, if you really want to get that, you need firstly attack the Wing of Death, make it life below 10.

I believe such adjustment is really reasonable, because it means the creature you want to control is too powerful, so you do not have enough mana to control it. It make sense in the real world, isn't it?
And, when we attack such powerful creature, let it become infirmity, then we could control it, it is also reasonable.

MOST important thing is that we could have more opportunities to defeat the Priest who use MIND CONTROL, for example. IF we using the Wing of Death, (OK, it is a good example) we at least have 1 chance to attack the Priest.

I believe it is a good adjustment, not only for Priest, but also for all of players.

quote:

K, I'm sick of this. I insta-concede every game vs a priest from now on. This is ridiculous and not even fun anymore.

quote:

for god sake blizzard this game is unplayable with this !@#$ing mind control op as hell just hot fix it we cant wait 2 week to fix an op spell I just had a game warrior he had 10 hp and I had 30 I summoned the warrior legendary he have 9 hp 4 attack with an enrage give 5 attack but what happened he freaking mind controlled it and used double health 9+9 18 and why double health cost only 2 mana are you like kidding me with the stupid equal attack and health cost 1 mana only come on I lost too many games to priests its getting really annoying

quote:

Dear blizzard designers,
As much i enjoy playing HSTN i must say that it is unbelievebly FRUSTRATING how unbalanced priests are. My main deck is control, boost mage full of rare cards and great combos (invested lots of time into it), iam able to win most of times, or at least have an equal match with all classes except priests. Even terrible priest deck with just basic cards and player doing misplays can win over me easily.

Funny how you very rarely see MC used in tournaments considering it's so broken.

sedaps
Jan 29, 2004


I had a guy insta-concede on me in Arena today when I was playing Priest... It's ridiculous because he is also playing Priest.

Jmcrofts
Jan 7, 2008

just chillin' in the club

sedaps posted:

I had a guy insta-concede on me in Arena today when I was playing Priest... It's ridiculous because he is also playing Priest.

Must have been this guy:

Hearthpwn forums posted:

I have to confess, I dont play Priest vs Priest. I quit before the moment I hear Andwin vs Andwin, donīt even bother with the initial draw or anything at all. Priest mirror matches are the most boring and dragged out thing in Hearthstone. Priest decks, at least at or below diamond, are all the same and they all go with the same cards and do the same thing. Its boring and takes too long... so I just give someone an insta free win and move on.

Phiberoptik
Dec 22, 2003


Strange Horizon posted:

5 minutes in the battle.net Priest forum


Funny how you very rarely see MC used in tournaments considering it's so broken.

The irony is if you made MC costs based on life, it would be even STRONGER.

Shows how little thought people put into things when complaining.

GreyPowerVan
Oct 12, 2012


I don't have a source because I saw it last night, but it went a lot like this...

quote:

I don't care what you guys say about going first having an advantage and still winning more than going second. The coin is broken. Blizzard can say that going first wins 53% of the time but they are WRONG. I have a stats degree and I know that all stats are just meaningless numbers and they can't just base going first winning more often on the games they have had played

Chomp8645
Sep 1, 2006

Hold on a sec, guys, it's been a minute since I shit up this thread with Rickroll anecdotes.

"I have a stats degree and I know that all stats are just meaningless numbers."

Incantus
Mar 20, 2003

yes

I have a degree in bologna

I was just noting to myself last night that I seem to lose more often when I lose the coin toss, although entirely open to the fact that I play like garbage and the coin is immaterial either way

GreyPowerVan
Oct 12, 2012


Chomp8645 posted:

"I have a stats degree and I know that all stats are just meaningless numbers."

He actually said that though, seriously.

Some idiot on BNET forums posted:

Depends what you would like to do. Hogger is a pretty good card however, you can shard it for quite a bit. I had a similar situation sharded it, made the non legendary version and had lots of dust left over to build up a good deck. All a matter or preference though.

This was in response to someone asking if they should disenchant their Golden Hogger.

Please tell me more about how disenchanting a golden hogger lets you make a regular hogger and have dust left over.

GreyPowerVan fucked around with this message at Nov 18, 2013 around 21:02

yap
Mar 19, 2003


If he had 1599 dust and then broke the gold one?

GreyPowerVan
Oct 12, 2012


yap posted:

If he had 1599 dust and then broke the gold one?

It was pretty obvious what he meant was that he disenchanted golden hogger, made regular hogger, then used the dust left over from disenchanting the golden version (0) to create another deck.

canepazzo
May 29, 2006

Siamo ufficialmente in corsa per il terzo scudetto.

Arriedecci Mario!

GreyPowerVan posted:

It was pretty obvious what he meant was that he disenchanted golden hogger, made regular hogger, then used the dust left over from disenchanting the golden version (0) to create another deck.

What if he used 29 basic cards ? WHAT THEN

SierraNovember
Nov 3, 2011
DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL ME THAT YOU'RE A WOMEN OR GAY. I'M SO TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT THAT I KEEP BREAKING MY FUCKING KEYBOARD. GOD JUST READING THAT MAKES ME WANT TO BASH IT IN UNTIL EVERYTHING IS COVERED WITH BLOOD, FLESH, AND BONE AAAARGHAARHGHGHAHRHHFFF

Buying cards is a major investment!

quote:

Some random Reddit noob posted:
First off, you know nothing about me. Secondly, if you just simply look at statistics, you can see that the majority of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. If you're comfortable just arbitrarily calling over 150 million people lazy then that's on you.

If you feel it's fine to ignore the rapid growth of income differential between the middle class and the upper class, then go for it. If you're fine with ignoring the growing gap between executive pay and worker pay then great. I'm glad that you're completely happy completely ignoring the rise in cost of higher education, the decreasing value of the american dollar, and the fact that inflation and consumer cost has risen at a rate that far outpaces any increase in worker pay.

In any case, this all came about because one person said that they wished they had $450 to spare and someone else responded by calling him a lazy good for nothing. But hey, I guess I'm the rear end in a top hat right?

The Shortest Path
Jun 21, 2012

This giant lollipop is going straight up your asshole.


Because it's not like inflation has stayed roughly the same year-to-year since the sixties or anything, right?

But yeah, if you have the disposable income to blow on 450 bucks for a game and it doesn't affect your life or anything, whatever, but this one? Really?

The Shortest Path fucked around with this message at Nov 23, 2013 around 06:31

SierraNovember
Nov 3, 2011
DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL ME THAT YOU'RE A WOMEN OR GAY. I'M SO TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT THAT I KEEP BREAKING MY FUCKING KEYBOARD. GOD JUST READING THAT MAKES ME WANT TO BASH IT IN UNTIL EVERYTHING IS COVERED WITH BLOOD, FLESH, AND BONE AAAARGHAARHGHGHAHRHHFFF

Now people can add your battletag after a match, I expect this thread to flourish with rage quotes.

NSFW

Shadowlyger
Nov 5, 2009


Hearthstone, setting a new world record in showing precisely why you're not allowed to talk to your opponent.

DOUBLE CLICK HERE
Feb 5, 2005
WA3

Jmcrofts posted:

Must have been this guy:

blizzard is incapable of fixing PvP ....... david..

SierraNovember
Nov 3, 2011
DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL ME THAT YOU'RE A WOMEN OR GAY. I'M SO TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT THAT I KEEP BREAKING MY FUCKING KEYBOARD. GOD JUST READING THAT MAKES ME WANT TO BASH IT IN UNTIL EVERYTHING IS COVERED WITH BLOOD, FLESH, AND BONE AAAARGHAARHGHGHAHRHHFFF

Hey, I caught one!

Nf3
Oct 9, 2012


Where can I read up on how card decks work in this game? I leveled the mage past 20 but I am still missing some mage spells, how do I acquire those? I just have to get lucky unlocking them from expert decks? Will I gain a new mage card every two levels still?

Sjonkel
Jan 31, 2012


Are you quoting something here, or are you asking questions in the absolute most wrong thread possible?

SierraNovember
Nov 3, 2011
DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL ME THAT YOU'RE A WOMEN OR GAY. I'M SO TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT THAT I KEEP BREAKING MY FUCKING KEYBOARD. GOD JUST READING THAT MAKES ME WANT TO BASH IT IN UNTIL EVERYTHING IS COVERED WITH BLOOD, FLESH, AND BONE AAAARGHAARHGHGHAHRHHFFF

And I though we had new drama

Use the Hearthstone: This is our town, scrub thread, but otherwise - the additional expert cards can be won from arena, but better found in packs bought or earned.

FrancoFish
Sep 12, 2008

A Dog.


quote:

That game is such bullshit they don't even give you a full deck how are you supposed to play with 30 cards thats nothing

From my Facebook on a random post about Hearthstone.

Incantus
Mar 20, 2003

yes

FrancoFish posted:

From my Facebook on a random post about Hearthstone.

there are no land cards this is bullshit!!

Dial A For Awesome
May 23, 2009


Beat a paladin in the arena today. During the game I played King Krush. Afterwards he sends me a friend request followed by this charming message:

Khorne
May 1, 2002
Ask me about the Lina meta 7 years ago.

Dial A For Awesome posted:

Beat a paladin in the arena today. During the game I played King Krush. Afterwards he sends me a friend request followed by this charming message:

I get rage adds fairly often because I say thank you after critical misplays, and I play fast. Like some guy going to 13 when he knows I have 13 from 2x fireballs+a hero ability, because I had 2 fireballs from antonidas who he originally refused to kill for two turns. And literally refused, because he had the cards to do it in his hand.

"ur deck is poo poo"
"so thank you"

Always followed by immediately removing me. The only guy who wasn't a dick was someone right after the ladder reset. He was blatantly newish, and he just said he hates the ladder reset because he has to face a bunch of people who destroy him. Asked my old rank etc.

kickascii
Mar 29, 2010


It looks like I'm missing out on a lot of quality entertainment by rejecting all friend requests after matches, I should broaden my battle.net horizons a little.

Steve2911
Jan 22, 2013

Please be excited.


kickascii posted:

It looks like I'm missing out on a lot of quality entertainment by rejecting all friend requests after matches, I should broaden my battle.net horizons a little.

The problem is sorting the people who played you from the spambots who have increasingly normal looking IDs.

Easier to just reject everyone you don't know.

misguided rage
Jun 15, 2010

God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title

Steve2911 posted:

The problem is sorting the people who played you from the spambots who have increasingly normal looking IDs.

Easier to just reject everyone you don't know.
Unless they're adding you well after the fact, there's a 'last played' line at the bottom of the friends list that you can check.

Antti
Oct 10, 2006


kickascii posted:

It looks like I'm missing out on a lot of quality entertainment by rejecting all friend requests after matches, I should broaden my battle.net horizons a little.

I do this and I've taken to just squelching every opponent. And some people want chat in this thing. The 1v1 nature of the game just makes it too emotionally charged.

-Inu-
Nov 11, 2008

TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY CUBIC CENTIMETERS


Saw this one on Reddit. Not adding chat was probably the smartest design decision Blizzard made with this game.

The Fattest PI
Mar 4, 2008
VAGINA AVOIDER; LEADER OF THE BIBLE STUDY GROUP; WETTEST BLANKET


Nobody ever tries to add me for trashtalk and I get sassy with my emotes all the time

siggy2021
Mar 8, 2010


I played this guy about two to three weeks ago and beat him. He friend requested me to call me a enjoyable human being loser noob that got lucky because I had all the answers to his plays. Today I got this.



There was a lot more question mark spam that I took out. Always accept a friend request. Also he never did remove me.

Minorkos
Feb 20, 2010

very high player looking for a small son to coach - m4m - 41

siggy2021 posted:

I played this guy about two to three weeks ago and beat him. He friend requested me to call me a enjoyable human being loser noob that got lucky because I had all the answers to his plays. Today I got this.



There was a lot more question mark spam that I took out. Always accept a friend request. Also he never did remove me.

Whenever someone challenges you to a 1v1 in any game, you're supposed to accept and go AFK as soon as the game starts

Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

cheesy anime pizza undresses you with pepperoni eyes


Minorkos posted:

Whenever someone challenges you to a 1v1 in any game, you're supposed to accept and go AFK as soon as the game starts
Or just troll them. Make a deck consisting of nothing but card steal.

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!

I don't know if it 100% fits this thread but my coworker just posted on Facebook that her baby daddy is too busy watching Hearthstone videos to see his daughters first steps.

Heathstone more important that babby.

yap
Mar 19, 2003


Just what this world needs. More neglected kids filling up prisons thanks a lot dave kim im moving to finland.

Eregos
Aug 17, 2006

A Reversal of Fortune, Perhaps?

Len posted:

I don't know if it 100% fits this thread but my coworker just posted on Facebook that her baby daddy is too busy watching Hearthstone videos to see his daughters first steps.

Heathstone more important that babby.

Good to see he has his priorities straight.

Luffles
Jul 25, 2007

The Bird of Hermes Is My Name, Eating My Wings To Make Me Tame




added me to give me some friendly advice and then removed me

yap
Mar 19, 2003


Luffles posted:



added me to give me some friendly advice and then removed me

You antagonized him.

It's more funny when they do these things without being goaded into it.

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Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

cheesy anime pizza undresses you with pepperoni eyes


yap posted:

You antagonized him.

It's more funny when they do these things without being goaded into it.
Antagonized him by saying 'well played?'

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